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Da_Dweeb
climber
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Dec 31, 2007 - 10:19pm PT
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Radical -
Hilarious. Just... Hilarious.
But you forgot to mention the Benny Hill soundtrack...
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Dec 31, 2007 - 10:47pm PT
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Excuse me, let me adjust the large capital L on my forehead, as I have no date on New Year's Eve.
I'm sorry I wasn't clear in my trip report - I saw no bathook holes anywhere on the first pitch. Tom told me he saw none on the second. I doubt you could see a bathook hole from the ground. You can see the rivets and bolts, though, quite easily.
An interesting question has been raised someplace above - I remember Richard and Mark saying that they thought maybe 8-10 total "enhancements", those enhancements defined as something on the near-microscopic scale. It's been 25 years, and water runs down the slab in rain. Is it not possible that the micro-enhancements they made have weathered, and you might have to re-do some of them? Or is it possible that other edges they used have weathered so as not to be useable? This may sound preposterous, but so small are these damn "edges" I hooked on, that what I describe above is conceivably possible!
Another possibility is that as I was stumped for a couple hook moves, maybe the edges those guys used have weathered to become unuseable, and might need re-enhancement?
Some other things I am just remembering:
The two or three hook moves I just couldn't suss were near the top of the first pitch. I'd been standing in my aiders for five damn hours hooking, and my off-the-couch body was twisted in agony. You have to do some pretty crazy twists and turns to stay in balance on the bloody things. I was having no fun, and I had already decided by that point that I was in over my head, and the "headpoint" ascent was not going to happen. I was not prepared to run five-hour laps to learn how to hook these things. Obviously Mark and Richard were quicker studies than me. So I possibly just didn't look hard enough for the placements - by then I was in the "fvck this!" mentality.
I'm pretty good at hooking, but I'm not that good. You've gotta be a Grossman or Jensen or Smith or McNeely to pull this one off - Zabrok ain't quite up to snuff.
I also just remembered what really wigged me out up there! Right near the top of the first pitch only one or two moves from the anchor bolts, you get to some decent-looking edges, and I thought, "yay, finally." There was a pretty good edge that I got on, and had been standing on for some time, maybe a minute, when the damn thing blew! I'm tellin' yous guys, if I had been on lead when that hook blew, I was a good 25' above the last bolt, and for me it would have been the Fall Of A Lifetime, because the slab here is low-angle, and there are several small ledges maybe 6" to 12" wide [there is one big enough to stand on for a no-hands rest]. So a minimum 55-foot fall, bouncing off ledges. That sorta thing can kill you, man.
Riley - You forgot this on the marquis: "Steve Buscemi as 'Pass the Pitons' Pete"
Richard - are you frickin' NUTS?? GEEEEEEEZ. Laughing my ass off at your ranting challenges. Can you get up out of your wheelchair without tripping over your long grey beard?
Coward - fabulous! Who are you, by the way? We honour identity here. Do you still have to climb the Durrance Route on Devil's Tower first before they "let" you climb elsewhere?
Mark and Richard - you took 21 days on the Sea???? Holy frig, YOU GUYS SUCK! Even *I* am faster than you guys - you pathetic wankers! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mimi, oh Mimi. Me oh my. Why does he call you mimisoft? You sure as hell have a lot to say for someone who hasn't done any big walls.
I am Dr. Piton,
and I am PROUD to be a SUBMAN to Mark Smith and Richard Jensen.
Those guys are bad to the bone, and their route KICKED MY ASS!
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Walla Walla, WA
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Dec 31, 2007 - 11:08pm PT
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Funny post, Pete. Yeah, we're slower than a glacier. Of course, in typical fashion, there is a real story behind the distortions. We only fixed one pitch, instead of the typical five. We spent three Sabbaths and lost two days to rain. Also we thrutched around for many hours one day trying to get some of our water down and across to the Heartland team (which Barbella and Brand will verify). All told, that's about 15 actual climbing days. So, how does that compare to you, Dr. Speed Demon? Harharhar
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Lost Arrow
Trad climber
The North Ridge of the San Fernando
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Dec 31, 2007 - 11:22pm PT
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Anyone ever invent a device that could load hooks before you trust them. Some type of ratchet device with a load cell.
Did you guys bring a bible on the route?
Juan
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Dec 31, 2007 - 11:29pm PT
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I can't believe that Arnold won't be in the movie. No Terminator? I mean, how else is this all ever going to end?
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Walla Walla, WA
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Dec 31, 2007 - 11:30pm PT
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Yeah, a Bible and some other books. We actually like to live up there. We're pretty relaxed about "making tracks."
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coward
Trad climber
Boulder, Wyoming
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Dec 31, 2007 - 11:31pm PT
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Pete - my name is Tristan Perry. All I've done in Yosemite is gawk. I do climb wherever/whenever I can. And I haven't even done the Durrance Route...how pathetic is that? In time...in time. Just need to get back there is all.
Happy New Year!
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Lost Arrow
Trad climber
The North Ridge of the San Fernando
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Dec 31, 2007 - 11:44pm PT
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I once was at the belay on the Nose at the top of pitch three when I heard this terrible noise and yelling. As rocks slammed into the apron a few feet from me I smelt burning granite. I remember praying to Jesus
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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So, Riley, busy night at the ER? I'm home sick, sorting and scanning old family photos for entertainment.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Well, let's hope it continues to be reasonably quiet for you...
Because I'm not sure I could stomach any more of those gory photos you posted the other day. :-)
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EP
Social climber
Way Out There
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Well, Mimi reminds me of a person I work with:
She complained about anonymous harassing letters put in her work mailbox. As shop steward, I took her letters to management and the harassing letters to our counsel. Close examination revealed that she had written the letters to herself. The same misspellings, unusual punctuation and fractured grammar were evident in all the letters.
I suspect that Mimi may be a WOS insider.
Elgin Phelps.
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Lost Arrow
Trad climber
The North Ridge of the San Fernando
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Sh#t I have a bad hangover.
Juan
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Yes, the various 'caring' professions - police, fire, nurses, doctors, EMTs, S&R people, military - do tend to have somewhat dark senses of humour. A necessary coping mechanism, shared by many climbers.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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"I suspect that Mimi may be a WOS insider."
interesting notion.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was proving he didn't exist.
not sure why that just came to me now. I think it's a twilight zone episode.
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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munge-
that's from "the usual suspects"
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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oh yeah, thx! Totally forgot.
That's such a good movie too. How could I ferget?
no sleep this weekend really. my posts tend to suffer for it.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Be very careful what you say, Mimi is Kaiser Sose
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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A violent movie, too, that would have given Riley lots of gory pictures to post. But a well done movie at that, with lots of black humour.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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That movie would have been a lot better if Angelina Jolie had been in it, totally naked, for about 5 minutes.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Angelina Jolie {sigh}
Talk about smooch-O-licious lips!
When I was in high school, my friend's sister used to make fun of my [full sensuous] lips, because they are not thin like her [razor] lips. I am glad to discover that some thirty years later, my type of lips have finally come into style - done without collagen, all natural.
And in case you're wondering, I do knott have pectoral implants, either.
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