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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Aug 26, 2017 - 08:47pm PT
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Happie. Birthday Happie.... and someone else who knows who they are!
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Aug 27, 2017 - 04:09pm PT
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Yes, and a bump for that someone else who always remembers it is their day because the see me post about mine - I almost forgot a few tomes yesterday myself.
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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Aug 27, 2017 - 04:23pm PT
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28 years sober for me August 17th...where did the time go?,
many, many years past my expiration date, had I still been drinking.
And Happy birthday to all the August birthday people here!!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Aug 29, 2017 - 06:20pm PT
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congrats happie and everyone else.. My 11th slipped by unnoticed on the 25th and I randomely remembered on the 26th at a music party while explaining why I had 2 cases of seltzer on ice.. I ripped it up that night ;) I just remembered again and I had to search the forum to be shure that happie was OK.
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salad
Big Wall climber
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Aug 30, 2017 - 12:05pm PT
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Congrats Happy, Bush and Trad.
The 28th marked 1 year for me.
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Woody the Beaver
Trad climber
Soldier, Idaho
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Aug 30, 2017 - 02:41pm PT
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Congratulations to you cats! 15 years for me August 15!
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hb81
climber
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Sep 15, 2017 - 01:59pm PT
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Day 54 for me. I'm pretty sure this is the longest I've ever gone without getting drunk or high since my first taste of booze some 20ish years ago.
Been going to NA meetings at least twice a week. Lovely and lively bunch of people.
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Jon Beck
Trad climber
Oceanside
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Sep 15, 2017 - 07:32pm PT
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Congrats to everyone sticking to it, and keep it up hb, it is the best gift you can give to people who care about you. I have seen too many good people suffer the effects of substance abuse. It touches many lives.
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Nov 24, 2017 - 11:01am PT
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Hope everyone made it through the ThanksDrinking holiday intact.
I made a close call mistake last week, and have to be careful for a while. I was visiting my sister and wanted to make a special meal for her and her family. I decided on Spaghetti Bolognese and went to find a good recipe. When it called for 1 cop dry red wine, I just thought "I'll be sure to boil out the alcohol, and just leave the flavor.
Well....it all went well, but over the next few days I realized I was thinking "too much" about the next thing I could make that might call for booze.... That didn't ring the wake up alarm for me. I traveled on, and am now at one of my other sister's places, in the town I grew up in.
Seeing the old dance clubs I went to as a kid was bringing back fonder memories than the reality was, and I found myself thinking "I wonder if my sister would want to go out dancing....and wouldn't it be funny if I met a guy back here in FdL?" I knew that it was the drink sneaking up on me then, but still wasn't as cognizant of what was happening as I should have been.
It was only after realizing these "thoughts" weren't going away, and that I was beginning to travel a path that would take me gently into the night, until one day I would wake up and realize, too late, that I had stepped off my sober path after more than 21 years.
So - phew! I realized this before it was too late, but that doesn't mean I am safe. I need to be ultra careful as to what I do for a while, until I feel enough distance has passed. A wrong turn down some dimly lit alley is always possible, and to realize how easily I was able to tell myself that it was okay to try cooking with wine. Clearly, for me, it is NOT!
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mynameismud
climber
backseat
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Nov 24, 2017 - 11:19am PT
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First day without a drink was 5th of June this year. Several days of high stress and temptation but have not caved.
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Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
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Nov 24, 2017 - 03:37pm PT
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Moderaton in all things. Especially sobriety and chastity.
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in there
Social climber
isle 3
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Jan 27, 2018 - 06:23am PT
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middle life in america.
though i'm on the left coast,
i'm sopping in excess.
i don't know what i need
or what i should fear running out of.
i eat meal after meal and i usually
don't even have to pry my existence from the brink of sour destiny in between heaping spoonfuls.
money is everywhere.
booze, too.
my emotional stasis is delicate.
all of us must consider and care for that state
to which we return when unaltered.
because it constitutes us.
i'm realizing that boozing in and of itself is cool.
i drink, and i lose cares. shedding cares is good.
so far my bevvying has not taken from my bank account, derailed my carreer, or broken apart my family. for this i'm astounded.
but that stasis. that is was concerns me.
that is what motivates me to leave the liquor store empty-handed.
becuase i depend upon that stasis; my life shoots from there.
i'm learning to treat that stasis like an immigrant,
for it too is fleeing war.
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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Jan 27, 2018 - 08:48am PT
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I’ve Had My Say
I was near delirium tremens
The next step along the way
When she took the kids and left me
With nothing left to say
So I drank myself a bender
Unremarkable to convey
That such was my condition
'Twards perdition on that day
The sky was red
When I came to
My world was split
For all I knew
I'd lost my love
And family too
The sky was red
Instead of blue
So I drank myself a bender
Unremarkable to convey
That such was my condition
'Twards perdition on that day
Some would say I saw the light
But that night I saw only blue
In the morning I saw scarlet
And I didn't have a clue
I'd lost my love
And family too
The sky was red
Instead of blue
But my love came back
What could I say
Only after I’d died
I remember the day
What say you to a man
Gone and back from the dead
Was gone such a long time
‘Twas the price I had to pay
Only grieve for the loved ones
Life always goes full circle
Don’t grieve for me friend
You know I’ve had my say
-bushman
01/27/2018
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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My first cousin back in Texas accidentally overdosed on opioids and alcohol a couple nights ago. I just found out about it. She was only 55 with two grandchildren and a good financial situation but she had long term addiction issues.
I'm really heartbroken for her son and her grandchildren. Her younger sister overdosed on prescription meds twenty some years ago and big sister never got over it. She would tie one on for days whenever that date came around but this time it finally caught up with her. Sometimes I wonder what this world is coming to.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Vilification of humans for being,.... human.
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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The Toll Bridge
I was born the son
of a preacher man
Wild and reckless
and wreaking mayhem
Drinking to try and
erase all my sins
At war with myself
and trying to pretend
That drinking and drugging
were my friends
That lying and stealing
we’re justified in the end
That the world was the problem
so I would dig in
Lying to myself
I’d lift the bottle again
Those days seemed long
but time had grown short
My world was shifting
as the winds grew cold
The world closed in
and I saw myself
In the blink of an eye
I had grown old
I thought I was still a young man
I thought I had more time
My mind was not mature
yet my youth had waned
And all the love that I’d found
I’d pushed away
While all the good within me
I had shamed
As my world collapsed
I could see my specter
Laying drunk and dying
in some run down dive
Sobered by that vision
my view began to clear
This disease of addiction
wouldn’t let me out alive
Time passed and I was sober
Until a moment of despair
I dared not take a drink
but otherwise I did not care
I came upon a canyon
the abyss that lie below
Was at the depth of my mortality
with one final act to go
There beyond the mists
hung by aging banyan boughs
Was a bridge across the morass
that was seemingly unsound
The alternative was a round
in the barrel of a gun
I cringed to think I’d arrived there
from a world I had undone
I started across the abyss
on that rickety strand of wood
Daring to not look down
as if that did me any good
At the halfway point I paused
and with trembling lost my poise
When I heard something whisper
without making any noise
It said the price to pay
was the final toll
A series of actions
I thought I knew but oh
The first lesson was gratitude
beyond faith and sacrifice
Gratitude for freedom of
the choices in our life
The next lesson was suffering
of a depth I’d rarely known
Bare faced raw and primal
but embraced for what might grow
The final lesson was love
beyond everything held dear
Beyond the stars and all the planets
Beyond all reasons not yet clear
The final lesson left me baffled
and the ringing in my ears
Was drowning out the spirit’s voice
as I trembled with fear
I took another step
until the trembling had passed
With every step disaster threatened
each step might be my last
A hundred years seemed to pass
before I reached the other side
Then I knelt and kissed the earth
for the voice had never lied
I knew then that the lessons
now imprinted in my mind
Were the toll that I had paid
a gift adversity would only find
The toll bridge was behind me
but along this strangers path
Lie many canyons much larger now
than any in my past
With one foot after the other
as many wisemen have said
We must try to make the best of it
until it’s time for bed
For the days might seem long
but time grows short
Our worlds are shifting
as the winds grow cold
Then the world closes in
as we see ourselves
And in the blink of an eye
We’ve grown old
-bushman
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hb81
climber
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Jun 11, 2018 - 03:16pm PT
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Day 323 off the sauce.
Bourdain's death really hit me as I enjoyed his books and shows, and he very much was one of "us" (addicts)...
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Jun 11, 2018 - 03:24pm PT
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Good on ya hb81. Keep it up and don't get complacent; the wolf is always circling. What I've found helpful is to connect drinking to the worst ways I could think of to die and negative aspects of drinking:
A=B+C+D+F+I
A: Alcohol
B: Burning to death
C: Cancer
D: Drowning
F: loss of Freedom
I: loss of Integrity
It seems stupid but keeps me grounded. Whenever I get the urge or see an ad or pass a liquor store I repeat that formula in my mind.
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jun 11, 2018 - 03:41pm PT
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There's a meditation meeting very early morning just a few miles from my house. I've been pretty good these last few years about going every day that I'm in town. Whatever freedom I have, after all these years, I owe in large part to staying close to the program. Going over the first three steps sets me up for having a solid day. Though sometimes I have to pause a few times throughout my day to make sure I remember who I am: An alcoholic, who can go south fast as the next thought.
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