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Albert
climber
The Valley
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Eric, to be clear on that climbing area you named "Weekend at Albert's" we ONLY established TWO climbs. "Slip on slime" (put up with Sam R. and John P.) and "Scorpion tale" (John P. and myself). ALL other climbs were already established but we didn't know the names so we did not name them. BTW that's a really bad name for an area and as the vast majority of climbing there was already done, putting my name all over it seems completely inappropriate and discredits the efforts of all of those who did all that hard work.
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Bad Acronym
climber
Little Death Hollow
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Hi, Gang! It's the pillar of the community in my head, Erik Sloan!
Phew, I've been super busy posting to other forums, but wanted to check in with the geriatric demographic here.
Funny story: A few mornings ago, I had to take a massive steamer so I stop by the Starbucks in Oakdale and order a quadruple capp and pumpkin spice scone. I ask the chick at the counter if they have a public restroom and she points to the back, so in I go with my brew and scone. I'm halfway into my sh#t and 3/4s done with my capp when this terrible rumbling in my gut makes me shove the scone into the sanitary napkin dispenser and hang onto the toilet for dear life. Did I mention I ate two bags of freeze-dried chili mac the night before? Anyway, I made a big mess of the toilet and figured it was time to wipe and go, so I reach for the toilet paper and wouldn't you know it, it's my girlfriend's brand of tp (the kind that leaves lint pom-poms in your a*#). Guess what else? They replaced the hand towel dispenser with a Dyson hand dryer! Long story short, I had no choice but to wipe my ass with my hand and smear feces onto the wall above the toilet. And yeah, I took a bit of artistic license, who wouldn't, woot!
Anyway, I close the door behind me and who should be standing right in front of me but Eric Gabel. I ask him about the super secret topos he's been bogarting and he just mutters something about needing to take a piss and pushes past me.
So I'm back at BOR adding mid-pitch anchors for aid practice, and all these YMS guides are telling me about how they saw Eric at the Starbucks in Oakdale this morning, super upset and raving about how someone smeared a swastika in sh#t on the restroom wall. They were all like, "Eric, please control yourself, you're scaring us with your erratic behavior." Later they were laughing about it, saying, "Yeah, you better not paint any swastikas with your feces when Eric's around, sheesh."
Community, these are public restrooms. If you can manage to take a sh#t in one without turning it into the Sistine Chapel, then I say go for it. Otherwise, don't alter someone else's vision by mopping the wall with Simple Green. I've spoken telepathically to dozens of Valley locals in the last few hours who say they love the improvements to the Oakdale Starbucks restroom.
Until Starbucks comes to their senses and rightfully reinstalls the hand towel dispenser, I say this: If you erase my sh#t swastika, I will paint a new one.
Woot woot!
Erik Sloan
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enjoimx
Trad climber
Yosemite
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+1 WernerBraun
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Erik,
Pull and patch is needed.
Putting anchors in the middle of a pitch changes the character of the climb, either as an aid climb or as free climb.
It's a mistake. Just fix it, and as soon as you can.
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Albert
climber
The Valley
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The bolts have been removed and the holes patched. I hope we can move forward and respect this route.
Erik, you know where to reach me if you want to talk.
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Gene
climber
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I'm lichen it!
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Johannsolo
climber
Soul Cal
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Thank you Albert! Sloan needs to stop and all of his retro bolts chopped.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Well done Albert!
I am glad that Mr.Sloan is parading his pimply little ass around so that folks can finally understand why I have been so critical of him and his bolt happy ways as geek celebrity Yosemite guidebook author.
What do you do with an adult that likes to swim in the public pool but as an integral part of his outing just can't say no to deep relaxation and a little floater to share with everyone. At first he swam away from his treasures but as folks began to notice and complain Young Nanook began to escort them over toward the stairs to be placed as markers of his hard won freedom of expression. Once folks became critical of the creative merits of his sculptural efforts (and the stench)he became more two dimensional spelling out "I NEED THIS" followed by "YOU WANT THIS", "I AM WINNING" and finally "HELP ME."
If Sloan can talk himself into placing these anchors and then steadfastly defending his decision then he has no self restraint to speak of. Just a test case for modernizing those pesky runouts with a nice shiny bolt. He is all about opening up access, you know, as a service to us all.
The way that we as a climbing community intrude into this unlimited world of license beyond posting here is to talk with Erik directly about his activities. Those of us who went through the clean climbing revolution remember plenty of piton happy idiots that required collective work to change. That at times very heated conflict dramatically slowed down the degradation of our shared environment preserving much of the character of the vertical world we all enjoy and hope to pass along in as pristine a condition as possible.
Bolts placed where others have found them to be unnecessary and purely for the sake of convenience are a blight. Those of you that are friends of Erik's or interact with him it's tough love time.
"There is no right or ability to place bolts that doesn't coexist with the right or ability to remove them." Royal Robbins
Erik- Stop shitting in the pool by changing the character of climbs done by others.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Yay; the bolts are removed. Thanks.
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tony_
Trad climber
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Good work Albert! Thank you for your service.
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enjoimx
Trad climber
Yosemite
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Thanks Albert!! Much appreciation.
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gumbyclimber
climber
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Thanks, Albert!
+1 Steve Grossman.
I like this rule = If you can't climb it, don't.
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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Thanks Albert.
Erik DO NOT replace those retrobolts. The community has spoken. You will only start a bolt war that will jeopardize access for all of us.
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Spiny Norman
Social climber
Boring, Oregon
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Thank you, Albert.
Let me know if I can Paypal you a beer or two.
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Bad Acronym
climber
Little Death Hollow
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Gang,
It's Sloan.
[sigh]
I have of late, wherefore I know not, lost all my woot. Indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly place, Yosemite Valley, seems to me but a runout face accessible solely to basketball centers and hyperthyroid cases.
Look you, this most excellent playground, these brave o'er hanging headwalls, these majestical slabs fretted with golden knobs! Why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of ethics professors.
What a piece of work is Albert! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In action, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god!
And yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust?
Granite delights not me.
No, nor lichen neither.
Nor lichen neither.
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Banks
Trad climber
Santa Monica, CA
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everyone I've talked to is super psyched about the mid-pitch anchor, mariachi band and generally festive vibe. No, the problems started when Ernesto took a factor 2 fall onto the band while tending the sopapilla fryer I hauled up there
Wait, there's mariachi bands and sopapillas on aid climbs? Where do I sign up?
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WBraun
climber
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Holy Fug !!!!
This sucks donkey dick as I was just going to go over there and practice my aid climbing.
Stoopid Americans screwed my wilderness experience.
I hate this place!!!
I'm moving to LA, ... crenshaw and compton and coming back and gonna put a cap in yo azz.
This sh!t is Way homo .....
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WBraun
climber
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Woot woot .....
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rick sumner
Trad climber
reno, nevada/ wasilla alaska
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Is Bad Acronym formerly known as Norwegian?
Why move to LA Werner, it sounds like it has already come to the Valley.
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Please -
No No On Hooks, Eric I am begging you come east and take over Ken Nichols' Books
or bolt this for us, you can write the book
But don't bolt this crack They just top rope it off that dead tree,
it is more than half way up.
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