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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Sep 23, 2015 - 08:24am PT
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Dr. Sprock, one of the most powerful posts I've ever read.
Where the HELL did you get that? Did you just spontaneously write it?
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Sep 23, 2015 - 08:35am PT
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sprock i'm cryin now
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Sep 23, 2015 - 09:36am PT
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Where the HELL did you get that? Did you just spontaneously write it?
That's Kerouak, from Big Sur.
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
I'm James Brown, Bi-atch!
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Sep 23, 2015 - 10:09am PT
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yeah Big Sur, they made a fair movie, audio book is the best, when sleep is your only peace, you can listen to that book and identify yourself out of a funk,
what's behind Door #1, alcoholic death
what's behind door #2, live life according to the big kahuna,
which one? call your doctor, ask him about alcoholic death,
still, i have to think about it, hmmmm...
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Sep 23, 2015 - 10:12am PT
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One should credit sources.
Waking from nightmare
Relief of mind comes quickly
It was just a dream
 me
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Sep 23, 2015 - 10:14am PT
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Thanks guys.
That's a Kerouac I haven't read. Better dial it up!
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Casey Bald
climber
lower refuse, NH
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Sep 27, 2015 - 10:22am PT
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Hey folks......
long time coming with this post. I have been a climber for over 15 years for a quarter of that I have been battling drug addiciton specifically Heroin. I have been clean for a week now and this past weekend the state of New Hampshire finally decided it was time for me to have my driving privilidges back so I headed north to get some climbing and some fishing in. Walking up to the base of Cathedral ledge sent me spiraling back with memories. First Leads and big whips brought my memory back to a simpler time with less worries and better choices. I ended up not really warming up and getting on a tricky, techy 10+ and got up the thing but was thoroughally worked. When I clipped the chains with forearms bulging and snot dripping down my face I remembered why I spent so much of my life dedicated to the practice of climbing. I hope this feeling can stick with me in the future and that I can stay clean long enough to continue to enjoy our wonderful way of life.....
thanks for listening
caser.
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Jim Clipper
climber
from: forests to tree farms
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Sep 27, 2015 - 10:31am PT
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right on!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Oct 13, 2015 - 12:05pm PT
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i'm going thru the paces, nicely.
i got a good gait,
one with ample momentum
to carry me through
those scenes
where beer beckons.
i hate sobriety,
i feel like i got
this useless giant
muscle rattling around
inside my skull-cage
and i've no use
for it now that
i can't f*#k with it.
but for me, now,
it's the way.
i gotta raise kids
with patience and poise,
and those traits
flee when i'm in
my cup.
plus i love my wife
and she won't stand
beside a drunk.
not now.
in ten years though
i foresee me
living out a year in
a smokey cabin in
alaska bursting
forth from a decade
of sobriety;
i'll have my health;
i'll own my small
hut here in the sierras;
i'll head two established
companies;
simple financial wealth, i'll enjoy;
independence from addiction? yes.
and i'll throw it all away, that year.
mark my poem.
and i'll probably do as keroac did
in big sur, document my
graceful undoing,
in prose.
but i need material,
for my story.
more material.
sober material.
fatherhood material.
stable material.
forced material.
torn material.
all of it, builds
a life.
worth recording.
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Stevee B
Trad climber
Oakland, CA
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Oct 13, 2015 - 04:39pm PT
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The best is yet to be Casey. I need only remember a) where I came from and b) that I can't do it alone. All else follows.
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Bushman
Social climber
Elk Grove, California
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I deleted that other thread I started...
'Post Drunk While Posting Night Friday Duh'
I was being sarcastic and on second thought,
just because I no longer imbibe doesn't mean I shouldn't try,
and let others have their fun.
Here was the poem though...
jus sayin'
I used to post drunk
Until one day I thunk
In the back of my mind
Something finally went clunk
And I cannot debunk
All those classes I'd flunk
The epiphany sunk
No more booze for this punk
-bushman
12/04/2014
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Lots of good posts on this page!
It's been awhile for me being clean
For awhile there I was staunch and mean
Atleast it kept me from vibe n at the local seen
Although it was great energy at the workin scheme
Now I've been licking the fat off the butter and cream
Do ya know what I mean
Love ya Weeg
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Holidays are here and can be stressful. Let's keep this thread warm for those who might need to find a port in the storm.
I've been in Asheville, NC, the last week, pretty much working on new jewelry pieces and hanging out with Lucas. In town...when all surrounding the place are mountains. On the one hand, I love seeing the Art Deco downtown buildings and wandering around the neighborhoods filled with quaint Arts & Crafts bungalows(though most of the owners have not stayed true to style with some of their *improvements*). This place is so full of artisan and craft I can't understand how there are enough buyers to go round.
There is a really thriving downtown scene, and especially at dusk, if I drive through, it makes me nostalgic for a time back when.....
The problem is - back when never existed. When I was drinking I was definitely on the prowl for that imagined poetic life of beautiful decay. When I gave up the drink, I found myself immersed in it, except for the social cammeraderie. I've never been good at that. Heard the drink whisper to me, as I drove through downtown last night. It told me some line about how happy and cool all hose people were, while I was alone, driving in a beater van, heading to bed down at Walmart's lot.
Luckily, it passed like the small fart of a passing pedestrian, and by the time I was going through the next traffic intersection, I had forgotten all about those people who probably don't even exist.
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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You can see what I have been making at http://www.TalismanToo.Etsy.com
Sometimes I feel "less than"(other people who do it) because I am not designing and casting molds, wire-wrapping like a whirling dervish or working with fine metals and precious gemstones. But.... with a studio space that consists of the front seats in a van and the space behind the console, I don't feel so bad.
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Bushman
Social climber
Elk Grove, California
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My sober life.
I totally get that, Edge. Rarely do I see an old A.A. friend but a few of them are also long time customers and an ex employee. We catch up but I don't hang with that crowd. My airplane club friends mostly drink socially and are respectful of my 26 years of sobriety. The few that drink too much I usually ignore and have no tolerance for in their drunken state. My family also allows me some dignity although a few can be drunkenly overbearing at times.
My old boring standby jokes suit me fine, "I thought I smoked and drank up the whole world's supply back in the Seventies," or, "You don't want to see me drunk, I would probably wreck the place and more than one of us would wind up in jail or the hospital before the night was through."
All in all I only attend parties on occasion and I leave pretty early before most people start to get too tossed. If it's no longer fun or people get obnoxious, it's time to turn in. Works for me. I get way more satisfaction out of being home reading, writing, or watching a good movie than I do with all that socializing anyway. I'm always good with alone time and the quiet hours around my place in the country with my wife and pets in evenings and weekends after the stress of running the business five days a week.
When traveling my major joys are in seeing the sights, watching the wildlife and the landscape, museums, art, architecture, music, shows, fine foods, and sharing all this with family and old friends. Most of the time my old drinking days are but a fleeting memory.
But I remember. It's not an option to return to that lifestyle for me. I burned too brightly, sadly, quickly, and recklessly for me or any good relationships I ever had to last one more day of it. I do remember. Sobriety is my fresh air breath and last chance at a good life. I'll never forget I'm an alcoholic who does not drink or use, and that is only a part of who I am and who I've become. It's ok to just be me again. The child I am, the thinker and the wonderer, the explorer, the tinkerer, a dog's best friend, and the parent/grandparent I've become.
-bushman
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Dude.
But I remember. It's not an option to return to that lifestyle for me. I burned too brightly, sadly, quickly, and recklessly for me or any good relationships I ever had to last one more day of it. I do remember. Sobriety is my fresh air breath and and last chance at a good life. I'll never forget I'm an alcoholic who does not drink or use, and that is only a part of who I am and who I've become. It's ok to just be me again. The child I am, the thinker and the wonderer, the explorer, the tinkerer, a dog's best friend, and the parent/grandparent and I've become
-bushman
Right on.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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I play music in Bars and that does not bother me. I did stay away from that scean when i first quit. 9+ years into it i feel pretty strong.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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I have not been to a meeting in months -- it feels good to be so, so done with dying from alcohol that no longer must meetings dictate the tempo of my days. I do look forward to hitting an occasional meeting when I get back to flag -- I just don't have the energy right now to go alone to meetings full of strangers here in San Diego. Because the truth is, that can be a lonely thing and it takes energy, but going to meetings to hang with folks you've know through ten bad years is just plain fun. Bottom line is drinking never crosses my mind, ever. On the other hand, I do think I owe it to the sobriety community -- whatever the f*#k that is -- to give something back. Because there are a few folks who hung in there with me during some really bad years -- after almost two years sober, I'm still trying to reestablish some kind of balance in my life.
Of course, I AM recovering from a profoundly busted hip, so that sort of takes up all my attention right now..! Gotta remember this was me a mere 5 weeks ago...
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
ne'er–do–well
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- looking forward to you getting back out there and crushing again.
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