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S.Leeper
Sport climber
Pflugerville, Texas
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Aug 17, 2011 - 06:09pm PT
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cant wait!
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graniteclimber
Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
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Aug 17, 2011 - 06:12pm PT
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I'll watch it, but what I would really like to see is a movie based on the FIRST ascent.
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bdaddy
Big Wall climber
Taos NM
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Aug 17, 2011 - 07:33pm PT
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I hope any PTPP interviews in the film are relegated to the extended footage/xtras portion of the DVD.
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goatboy smellz
climber
Nederland
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Aug 17, 2011 - 07:44pm PT
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I'll buy a copy if you interview one of the original shitters, no shitters, no sale.
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kaitb
Big Wall climber
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Aug 18, 2011 - 12:04am PT
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Celebrating on Wings of Steel!
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Mimi
climber
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Aug 18, 2011 - 12:41am PT
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Weld_it and Goatboy, the contract ink is drying.
Sure hope the real life story will be told here. Glad you two love birds are taking this on. So far, I think.
Make sure you bring the wide angle for Bwana. Isn't he the Rubber Head? Or was that Skidius Markus? No, wait. It was Gumby and the Rubberhead. Yeah, that's it.
Pretty soon we'll be able to purchase Gumby and Rubberhead bobbleheads with the fine arts nicknacks in the Ansel Adams Gallery. These guys are gonna be BIG!
Edit: I think it's great that the complete SA is benefitting from this hoopla. The FA shirley doesn't deserve to. I think Ammon and Kait should rename the route. Monkey Spunk Direct or something like that. LOL!
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Bill Sherman
Mountain climber
Culver City, CA
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Aug 18, 2011 - 12:51am PT
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Kait, excellent picture of the two of you. Take your time and make a great film. Sounds like something that could be showcased at Banff next year.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 18, 2011 - 09:22am PT
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Looks like their relationship survived. [What's not to love about Ammon?]
I hear they're casting Steve Buscemi to play me. I'll loan him my cheat stick and everything.
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Aug 18, 2011 - 11:15am PT
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I hope any PTPP interviews...
He said shitters, not full-of-shitters.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Aug 18, 2011 - 11:32am PT
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The opening scene features Pete (played by Danny Devito, of course!) and his scrawny little pole suspended from several top ropes while desperately scratching and cursing Bwana and Skid.
Finally , a pause in the theatrical suffering and the camera slowly draws in to Pete's ass which fills the screen as a strange brown stain radiates from the center slowly covering everything...roll the title. Pete has already screen tested for this crucial scene and has the awesome pants filling power to overwhelm his britches and make the shot sing. A Scratch and Sniff scent card is also being contemplated to put the viewer right in the center of the pile! Smell is everything in this epic tragicomedy.
WINGS OF STEEL---The Real, True-Life Action, Adventure Parable of the Lamb, The Goat and the Enormous Obstacle...Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Dimple!
A Fractured Fairy Tale...
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 18, 2011 - 02:57pm PT
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What a Hoser.
Hmmmmm.....
Like, take OFF, eh?!
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Walla Walla, WA
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Aug 18, 2011 - 03:56pm PT
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WINGS OF STEEL---The Real, True-Life Action, Adventure Parable of the Lamb, The Goat and the Enormous Obstacle...Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Dimple!
Or, the final moments of the documentary could go like this....
The camera zooms in on the pock-marked, sagging features of a wild-eyed old man, trembling with decades of pent-up rage and palsy, spittle foaming at the corners of his lips, croaking:
"I was gonna do the SA! I said it again and again and again. For years I SAID I was gonna do it! So it's LIKE I did it. Me and my main squeeze went over and over it, like climbed it in our MINDS! Look at my resume. I COULD have done it. In fact, even before the FA I was wandering around the base of it thinking about the possibilities. DAMN Bwana and Skid! DAMN them.I COULD have done the FA so much better. So THINK about it! Really it's like I did BOTH the FA and the SA! For SURE the SA, because I SAID I would again and again."
There is a fading transition to a pudgy, aging woman wearing a climbing harness over her muumuu, her long, pendulous breasts just a bit too visible through the thin material. She is leaning back in a chair, mid-rant:
"...and let me tell you about why I named them 'Bwana' and 'Skid.' Or, better yet [she leans forward urgently and far too quickly, which makes her breasts do terrible and threatening things through the muumuu; thank goodness this is not 3D!], let me answer your question again about why my opinion matters. I mean, that's important! It's a good question. So let me be sure that I really answer it.
"Look at MY resume! I've tagged along on a NUMBER of El Cap routes. The exact number isn't important. And the routes aren't important, including all that crap about me not even being NEAR Wings of Steel. I have been near it, by the way, but that's not important. What's IMPORTANT here is WHO I tagged along WITH! I've been the receptacle for any number of well-known hard-men, most recently Mr. Steve Grossman! I've CONTRIBUTED to climbing! I've paid my DUES to have an opinion here. And when Steve SAID he was gonna do the SA, we like really did it! It was virtual, of course, him being all decrepit now and all. But we talked ALL about it. It wasn't even that difficult, given all the virtual dimples. We basically romped up in an afternoon. Don't know why the TA took so long! [She winks and settles back in the chair, which compels us in fascinated horror to watch the asymmetrically erratic motions of her breasts through the muumuu.] What people don't seem to GET is that when Steve SAYS something again and again and again, that MAKES IT TRUE!"
Camera fades to black, and as the credits roll, a shrill, female voice-over can be heard: "Steve is so HARD... he really DID do both the FA AND the SA! Just LOOK at his resume...."
WINGS OF STEEL---The Real, Virtual-Life Action-Adventure-Fantasy Tale of the (semi) Hard and Wild Afternoon... Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Creative Power of the Word!
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Aug 18, 2011 - 04:10pm PT
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hahahaha....
an interview of SG and Mimi would be perfect....shrill, pathetic and bitchy, but perfect....hahaha
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Aug 18, 2011 - 04:14pm PT
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Before is disappears by way of revisionist history - and hats off to Richard for showing some serious skank and a beautiful mind in the gutter - here is a screen cap of some serious litch. "pendulous breasts..." Fuggin reads like Keats.
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Aug 18, 2011 - 04:21pm PT
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No need to snapshot it - I'd say Richard 'nailed' it.
Definitely a portrait of the wrong couple doing the SA. Too bad the main slaggers couldn't actually suck it up and do the SA, but then slagging is so just so much easier than climbing.
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Pass the Chongo, Chongo
Social climber
camped on P3 of WOS
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Aug 18, 2011 - 04:29pm PT
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Bwana and Skid, are the f*#king lame names that stupid f*#king c#&% bag Mimi came up with. F*#king stupid. F*#k her, f*#king bitch!
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Prod
Trad climber
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Aug 18, 2011 - 04:35pm PT
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Just when I was losing hope for this thread, it goes and gets good again...
Prod.
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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Aug 18, 2011 - 04:50pm PT
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 18, 2011 - 05:00pm PT
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"...long, pendulous breasts..." ?!
My goodness, that's quite the language ... for a Butt Pirate.
Dingus, I actually look rather more like Rick Moranis than that photo suggests, especially, like, when I'm wearing a toque, eh? I got my shirt for $20, and it might even be new.
All right, we need somebody who's good with photoshop and has the right photo of El Cap - we need a movie marquis with flashing lights and stuff!
Hey - who's going to play my crab? Or could Wee-Wee cameo himself, like Alfred Hitchcock always did?
As for pirates, Johnny Depp is a mere poseur next to Ammon.
Hey Bwana - this fall *I* am going to do a second ascent on El Cap! I am, I really am! It'll be hard and everything, too.
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