Social Complexity of being a female climber

Discussion Topic

Return to Forum List

This thread has been locked

Messages 141 - 160 of total 254 in this topic

<< First | < Previous | Show All | Next > | Last >>

neebee

Social climber

calif/texas

Mar 12, 2009 - 03:50am PT

hey there anastasia... say, wow, you have gotten a lot of advice already...

say, i posted on the follow up male thread already, as it was at the top of the list...

but---you know... i really think that tv and movies have a LOT to do with this, too.... as they always show that gals are out there "looking for stuff".... and gals can be just as much looking for the love of the great outdoors and a good climb, as they say they are....

even, as guys can be... (course, if the guy is keeping his mind on the proper art-work... being the rock, and not the female scenery)...

but, just be yourself and be honest and strong... and show the love of the rocks... and at first if you don't feel strong here, take along some guys you trust...

too bad you dont have a nice brother sytems... that alwasy works...

well... you will succeed in solving this,...say, i think justthemaid had some neat answers, too... way back at the beginning of the post..

:)

graniteclimber

Trad climber

Nowhere

Mar 12, 2009 - 03:56am PT

The only thing worse than unwanted attention, is not getting any attention.

Fletcher

Trad climber

here to eternity

Mar 12, 2009 - 04:03am PT

Or, as Oscar Wilde said, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

I agree that we are all wired to notice one another, especially the sex of which you take particular interest (unless you have Asberger's Syndrome or something like that). But what is critical is what we do (or don't do) when we notice. That is an indication of how evolved we are.

Eric

Anastasia

climber

Not here

Topic Author's Reply - Mar 12, 2009 - 06:00am PT

Have you ever been attacked, physically forced into something? I rather be unseen than have that attention. In fact being unknown, unseen is fun! There are no hang ups, expectations, etc. Being unseen lets you watch the world without having a need to fear it. The only problem is that it gets lonely.

Being seen means you are being judged, categorized, liked, disliked, targeted, intentionally ignored etc. (Doesn't matter if the attention is because of beauty, accomplishments, strange behavior etc.) Eventually someone will take a swing at you and... It makes one question their view of reality.

I know very little and wish for a bigger clue beyond my own. I know that my world stops right at the tip of my nose and the rest... The rest is interesting, exciting, dangerous and stranger than fiction.
AF

Fletcher

Trad climber

here to eternity

Mar 12, 2009 - 06:56am PT

That is an interesting point Anastasia about being unseen. It can go both ways and being unseen does have advantages as you point out.

Many profess a desire for fame and fortune. I've always known that I'd take fortune, but I can do without fame. I'm an observer, that's fun for me. Being unseen/anonymous is useful in the respect.

Eric

SteveW

Trad climber

The state of confusion

Mar 12, 2009 - 08:32am PT

Ana
I'd love to tour you around CO. . .Tar says he's under the weather, you know.
My intentions are to climb, climb and climb again.
I don't want to get tangled up in ropes, nope.
Not me.
and CONGRATULATIONS on the cut--YOU WILL GET THAT JOB!!!!

Beatrix Kiddo

Mountain climber

Littleton

Mar 12, 2009 - 10:23am PT

Watch out for that Steve fella. He's an awfully gneiss guy.

Note: I'm not hitting on either of you. :-)

Would men be more willing to climb with a woman who craps her pants on climbs or cries? Which is the lesser of the 2 evils? I'm just wondering. . .for a friend.

Crimpergirl

Social climber

Boulder, Colorado!

Mar 12, 2009 - 10:30am PT

I have to defend the criers. I never cry, nor do I know of one who cries on route. When it happens, it is at the top, when the climbing is over, and then it is quick - like seconds. I really do find it weird that it'd bother anyone anymore than someone who screams on a climb, or lets out a big "whoop" at the end of a climb.

And, I've never crapped my pants while climbing (those these stories are some of the funniest ever).

kellie

climber

Seattle

Mar 12, 2009 - 10:34am PT

I spent 18 months road tripping as a solo female, meeting up with many total strangers to climb (thanks Dingus, among others), and never had any problem with men hitting on me when I didn't want them to. They may have been interested, but because I didn't behave as though that were an option, no one pressed it. I also never had any trouble finding partners -- if that was because I'm female, well then, yay for me! I got to climb. I've travelled internationally to climb with dudes I met off the internet and never had a problem either, although one gentleman I met in the airport in Joburg was quite surprised to discover I was female. We had a great couple of weeks though, and he absolutely did not hit on me.

KK, Just go to Indian Creek, there are tons of climbers there and it shouldn't be too hard to find a partner or five.

happiegrrrl

Trad climber

New York, NY

Mar 12, 2009 - 11:20am PT

"It seems that it is not unusual for women to cry, and for guys to get angry..."

Uh ohhhh..... I have never cried on a route. But I have gotten angry. A couple times, not many. Usually when I am being chicken when I know I can do it.

By the way - I'll be in JTree in a few weeks. Arriving 3/26! Looking for people to climb with, as usual. Weeeee!

SteveW

Trad climber

The state of confusion

Mar 12, 2009 - 11:21am PT

Beatrixy
Are you taking me for granite?

JLP

Social climber

The internet

Mar 12, 2009 - 11:29am PT

"They may have been interested, but because I didn't behave as though that were an option, no one pressed it. "

Exactly.

On the other side of things, we have the OP of this thread posting half naked pix of herself to the forum.

You'll get back what you put out there.

KlimbIn

climber

Mar 12, 2009 - 11:38am PT

Beatrix asked:
"Would men be more willing to climb with a woman who craps her pants on climbs or cries?"

I don't know. What she look like?

Tarbuster

climber

right here, right now

Mar 12, 2009 - 12:44pm PT

JLP said:

"On the other side of things, we have the OP of this thread posting half naked pix of herself to the forum."

I don't think we should be discouraging that behavior...

This is all about maintenance of boundaries and on both sides of the fence.
Wait a minute .... I think I'm gonna a cry.
Um.
UH.
Wew! No I'm okay.
Just a little verklempt is all.

A woman can post half naked pictures of herself on the forum and still maintain pretty darn solid boundaries in real time.

She can also be noticed, appreciated for her natural beauty, and not particularly fear being judged any deeper or more suspiciously than that, whether it's happening are not.

A guy can likewise enjoy the company of a woman, appreciate her distinctly female gifts, including the occasional whimper, and refrain from any base motive to jump her bones, right here, right now.

Just respectful and artful social skills: boundary maintenance.
'Keeps things flowing nicely.

Melissa

Gym climber

berkeley, ca

Mar 12, 2009 - 01:03pm PT

Hey there, Roy. Say, what was the story behind your old nickname? ;-) (Just having some fun here...)

Double D

climber

Mar 12, 2009 - 01:05pm PT

"A woman can post half naked pictures of herself on the forum and still maintain pretty darn solid boundaries in real time."

Guys...PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS!

(-;

Tarbuster

climber

right here, right now

Mar 12, 2009 - 01:10pm PT

Which one Melissa?
Libido Roy, CowboyRoyTheBoyToyofJoy, maybe ... Side of Beef?

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Nothing to see here move along...