ZM, Cancer, and the end of a Dream

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Audrey

climber
Wilson, Wyoming
Nov 15, 2012 - 08:41am PT
Last night Ian's wife Michelle spent quite a while reading the super-topo thread to Ian/Charlie. She could tell at times that he knew what she was talking about. She said he smiled and nodded a few times and it looked like it make him happy. Thank you all.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Nov 15, 2012 - 09:48am PT
hey there say....


i am late here... just wanted to add my prayers and let you
know, with the others, that you are thought and cared about...

may god's love show up in special ways at this hard time and
be a strong anchor, moving you through, and may love
be the balm to help the pain...


god bless... we are all here for you...
Leggs

Sport climber
A true CA girl, who landed in the desert...
Nov 15, 2012 - 09:50am PT
may god's love show up in special ways at this hard time and
be a strong anchor, moving you through, and may love
be the balm to help the pain...


god bless... we are all here for you...

Beautiful, neebee, just beautiful.



~blessings and healing, positive vibes from the desert to the Gill family
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Nov 15, 2012 - 10:13am PT
Yet another spetacular dawn of another day.
Gene

climber
Nov 15, 2012 - 10:20am PT
Dawn was beautiful here this morning. Absolutely stunning.

Travel in peace each and every one of the Tribe.

Blessings,
g
splitter

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
Nov 15, 2012 - 10:21am PT
be the balm to help the pain...
Amen!

"Beautiful, neebee, just beautiful." ... indeed!

And, may 'a peace that surpasses all understanding' guard, guide and deliver you through these difficult times, bro!
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Nov 15, 2012 - 11:18am PT
Early Dawn, Campbell River, BC




Susan
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Nov 15, 2012 - 11:32am PT
Ian, Wishing you a peaceful day...
From your neighbor..south of you.
Saludos
nita.
Leggs

Sport climber
A true CA girl, who landed in the desert...
Nov 15, 2012 - 12:20pm PT
Peace and Positivity ...


~leggs

Edit: The photos shared on this thread are stunning and inspirational... Good vibes.
Leggs

Sport climber
A true CA girl, who landed in the desert...
Nov 15, 2012 - 02:39pm PT
“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”

~Kahlil Gibran

Leggs

Sport climber
A true CA girl, who landed in the desert...
Nov 15, 2012 - 04:34pm PT
Keeping this at the top...
Audrey

climber
Wilson, Wyoming
Nov 15, 2012 - 05:29pm PT
That is beautiful Leggs, thank you. And so appropriately timed.

"And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”

Then he is truly dancing now...on some big wall up there somewhere...and some of his last memories are all your messages being read to him. I cannot tell you how meaningful I'm sure that was. And I'm sorry to have to share this sad news.

I know I speak for his whole family when I say thank you for all your support here over the recent months and days. And to so many of you who had never even met him who donated to their fundraiser, heartfelt appreciation.

For anyone wishing to send cards to his family:

The Gills
469 Tourmaline Way
Redding, CA 96003

and here is the link to the fundraiser again (I don't know how to do it in clickable form, I'm sorry!)
https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/bMOnd

Keep following your dreams, and continue to take good care of each other!
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Nov 15, 2012 - 05:37pm PT
Oh noooo...just came back from a bike ride, never ever wanted to see this.



"Be now forever taken from my sight, though nothing can bring back the splendour in the grass, glory in the flower, we must grieve not, but rather find strength from what remains behind" Wordsworth.




Sad heart.


Susan
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Nov 15, 2012 - 05:56pm PT
Condolences to the family and friends.

Here is the link in clickable form:

http://fundrazr.com/campaigns/bMOnd
Footloose

Trad climber
Lake Tahoe
Nov 15, 2012 - 05:56pm PT
Indeed, very sad.

Ian, your fighting spirit was evident in all your postings.

Condolences to family and friends.
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Nov 15, 2012 - 06:02pm PT
Stairway to Heaven


dirt claud

Social climber
san diego,ca
Nov 15, 2012 - 06:04pm PT
So sorry to see this. Never knew Ian except through here but he obviously had a very positive influence on many people. His legacy will live through great memories I'm sure. Condolences to friends and family.
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Nov 15, 2012 - 06:14pm PT
I climbed my last El cap route about 26 years ago. Since that time. there's been some key negatives in my life, mainly, alcoholism and cancer. But I can say this with 100% certainty - since that last climb, even in my darkest hours, not one single day in my life has gone by where I haven't envisioned myself back on the big stone. Often, when I couldn't sleep, just picturing myself pasting a head or lounging in a portaledge would be enough to calm my mind down and get me to sleep.
So almost a year ago (and I'm 53 now), I started planning out my comeback to the vertical world - I had finally beaten alcohol (so far, and one day at a time), and in November (last year), I would be declared "cancer free". So this was going to be my gift from me to me - going back to what I loved the most.
I trained like a madman, and slowly but surely, built up a modern wall rack (my first El Cap route was before camming devices were available). I set my sights on ZM, and this was to be a solo - something I had never done. Mark Hudon literally taught me how to solo correctly and efficiently through many emails, complete with videos and photos, and chats on the phone - the man is SUCH a wealth of knowledge!
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago - I was sober still and had been declared "cancer free" last November. Life was good! Then I had a routine blood test for an unrelated issue. As soon as my oncologist got a copy of the test, he IMMEDIATELY ordered a CT scan. 2 days later, I'm in his office and get a brick in the face - cancer was BACK - in a big way. So they order the PET scan. Not only do I have cancer in the lung, liver, 2 lymph node masses, and possibly the spine, I've also got a failing kidney, which they need to put a stent in to restore its function.
Alright, so I've got cancer -I beat it once, and I'll do it again. But this is pretty bad timing, seeing as I'm supposed to leave for the ditch in 10 days from today. But the kidney thing is my worst enemy right now. It throws off your electrolyte and enzyme balance, and hinders red blood cell formation, causing anemia, which in turn causes fatigue, shortness of breath, increased hear rate, etc. So THAT'S why I couldn't finish a 27 mile bike ride 3 night ago - something that is so EASY for me
So it's the 11th hour now, and I'm pretty crushed. With big time cancer treatment coming up, I know this is probably the only chance I'm gonna get to live out my dream. I was hoping to keep climbing until I was too old to do it, but that's over with now.
My gut is telling me - "Don't be light, just go!" And I feel like I CAN climb - I just can't carry the bags up to the base or off the top, and am having a hell of a time trying to find a summit team.
Stage 4 cancer with a failing kidney, and I still want to solo El Cap - people who aren't climbers think I'm absolutely nuts!
I meet with the doctors on Thursday - they've already told me to go, but they don't know how much this kidney thing is affecting me. But I HAVE to do it!! I've worked too hard for this, only to get bitch-slapped by cancer again!
Whatever happens, SOOO much thanks to Hudon, and to Ekat and GAGner for keeping the stoke alive!!! Oh yeah... and F**K cancer!


Ian

Ian Gill

You don't even have to be religious, but just believe that there is something on this earth that is more powerful to yourself. For instance, man could never build Half Dome or create the Sierras. And that is good enough for me - to know that there is a power greater than man. TRY praying to that power and turn your problems over to it - take the weight off your shoulders, relax, take it all in, and regain that sense of self Learn to love yourself, and you'll realize what a tragic waste it would be to just do away with yourself. Life can be great again - persevere and believe in it.


Ian Gill


Capt Kirk talks about "hugging the mountain". Gee I feel all warm and fuzzy.

But "highly illogical"! Beam me up Scotty, I've done boogied myself out!
Gene

climber
Nov 15, 2012 - 06:56pm PT
Sad. But............

Ian/Charlie and Paul/Disaster Master are kicking it together now. To be a fly on that big wall.

g
nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Nov 15, 2012 - 07:07pm PT
I am so sorry to see this news...
Sending Heartfelt condolences out to ...Michelle, Trevor, Audrey, and Ian's friends and family.


Rest easy..
Saludos..
nita.


Strength in numbers.." One winter night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvX4bqQsbjY
Messages 141 - 160 of total 557 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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