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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Jan 11, 2012 - 08:48am PT
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There's some seriously average mediocre shizuoka being hurled here.
Anyone else wanna get called "typical"?
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Jan 11, 2012 - 11:36am PT
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Who tf is oey?
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 11, 2012 - 11:42am PT
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Jaybro: Rokjox may be able to explain. I'm not. A sleeping beast, something ancient and evil that ruled on ST some time ago. Seen as sweet by many. A name that should not be mentioned.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 11, 2012 - 11:47am PT
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Uff da.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Jan 11, 2012 - 11:59am PT
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Oh!
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 11, 2012 - 12:00pm PT
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That's strange - a picture of the beast.
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Jan 11, 2012 - 12:05pm PT
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Fact is, all the flaming on the Taco is merely average.
Typical. Common. Boilerplate. Commonplace. Dime a dozen. Everyday. Fair to middling. Familiar. Garden variety. Humdrum. Intermediate. Mainstream. Mediocre. Medium. Middle of the road. Middling. Moderate. Nowhere. Ordinary. Passable. Plastic. Regular. Run of the mill. So-so. Standard. Tolerable. Undistinguished. Unexceptional.
Back in the Pleistocene of the Internet, before the WWW, when everything was text-based, somebody created the an early flame (quoted below). Not the first flame, mind you, merely one of significance.
Like the dribble-and-drool-chinwipe-worthy tripe on the Taco, the rest has been just pasties and a g-string.
Take that, all you normals!
You vulgar little maggot.
You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a slug than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beast who sired you and then killed himself in recognition of what he had done. Your daddy was a bastard, your mamma was a whore, and you wouldn't be here if the rubber hadn't tore. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you.
You have all the appeal of a booger. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.
May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Sheep won't have sex with you––only trash such as yourself.
You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.
You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of a used condom. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have toe jam. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away forever.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Jan 11, 2012 - 12:09pm PT
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Very pythonesque!
......So you're saying John Cleese is the biggest flamer?
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Jan 11, 2012 - 12:17pm PT
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......So you're saying John Cleese is the biggest flamer?
No. Just saying that in the early days of the internet, when the concept of flaming began to emerge as a non-contact sport, that alot of mileage was obtained from quotes such as these. The Pythons were so far ahead of their time that the world is still trying to catch up.
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squishy
Mountain climber
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Jan 11, 2012 - 12:20pm PT
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why is vitally not on that list, he's a big flammer, he even lives in San fran..
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 11, 2012 - 12:21pm PT
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TwistedCrank: That's a very creative one. Is it a quote? If you identify the target of the rant it will bring you close to the top of the list.
Edited: So it was a Python quote. That doesn't count. Thanks, ok, not Python.
Fattrad: So the beast is the bearded one to the left. Though the guy to the right is wearing the female counterpart to the beast on his breast. And nature - what is his name doing in this smiling hell?
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Jan 11, 2012 - 12:25pm PT
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I think I've been carrying that around since I saw in on Usenet in the early 90's - I certainly lack the grey matter or the time to come up with something like that.
I don't know if it came from Python or not - Jaybro seems to think so and he's someone encyclopedic with stuff like that. I think it was used somewhat infamously on Craiglist once - at which point it went mildly viral. Before there was a viral.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 11:47am PT
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Marlow, just mail me the damn prize already!
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neversummer
Trad climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 11:55am PT
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where i come from a flamer is a.......nevermind.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 12:00pm PT
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So, neversummer, you agree I should win?
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Jan 12, 2012 - 12:00pm PT
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Chia LEB isn't a flame. It's a masterpiece.
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neversummer
Trad climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 12:07pm PT
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So, neversummer, you agree I should win?
dont know?....to much reading to get caught up on this thread...
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 12:09pm PT
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Neversummer, you only have to go back 7 posts!
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neversummer
Trad climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 12:11pm PT
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ya dude you win flammer in my book with that one....good1
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