Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
|
|
|
Nov 10, 2009 - 09:05pm PT
|
Well shucks, I didn't meet Jaybro. That last pic is early in the week. Like wednesday or thursday.
Edit: what is that weird thing growing out of my face? haha.. I know it wasn't there last time I looked in a mirror.
|
|
Lynne Leichtfuss
Sport climber
Will know soon
|
|
|
Nov 10, 2009 - 09:16pm PT
|
A few posts back zip said he was "just looking for love." I have this gut feeling that when we look to hard we miss,,,,,
Thinking betta we live each day being ourself, alive and real and doing the things we enjoy and dealing with the things we don't.....and then it just unfolds. Peace, Patience and Breathe. lynne
|
|
Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 12:33pm PT
|
Hey BK- good post
(not really sure why you choose to encourage lowest, or even why people acknowledge her at all, but whatever, feed the demon if you like)
|
|
zip
Trad climber
pacific beach, ca
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 11, 2009 - 12:47pm PT
|
FR,
Not sure, haven't been out on first date yet.
She is hesitant about going out with me cuz I have never been married, only had 1 girlfriend, and no kids.
I sent her a three page e mail yeterday telling her my life journey that has led me to where I am now.
I listed all negatives and positves I could think of.
Basically, I just hung it all out there. Going for broke.
Chicken sh#t or chicken salad? Not sure what she will think, but I was very honest in my self portrait.
Haven't heard anything back yet.
|
|
Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 12:49pm PT
|
Speaking as someone who's been on both sides of this question -- that is, both a single parent and in a relationship with a single parent -- my view is that the only rule is the old Golden Rule. Phrase it however you want but it boils down to "treat people the way you would like to be treated."
Anybody who says "Do this" "Don't do that" "This is right" This is wrong" is missing the essential point that what works in one relationship may wreck another, and vice versa.
|
|
Binks
Social climber
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 12:56pm PT
|
"what is up with you guys who never marry? or never really have any true long term relationship/s? I have my theories, after all I am a therapist...he he.... but I shall retain my thoughts/judgements for now."
I feel that I was almost one of those cases. I had decided it was better to be single single since most women I had met had a list of things they wanted a mile long. It was in no way fair in that I was allowed to have my own list of things to get in return for trying to fulfill that list. Some women wanted money, social status, or to be constantly entertained. Some women were so sensitive it was like walking on goose eggs, or so insensitive to anything but their own needs that I felt I was nothing more than an expendable source of empathy, cash or whatever whim of the moment to them.
I decided that I would only have a relationship of equals where the woman was self sufficient in all ways or I would stay single. To my eternal surprise, I have actually found such a woman. In the case of self sufficient partners, the duo is stronger than being single. She does not need me for money,entertainment, or some phony social circle. We just get along great and since we both pull equally we are actually capable of being more individuated, each fulfilling our own destinies -than we were when we were single
|
|
Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 01:41pm PT
|
It may just be me, but if a guy I didn't know sent me a three page email about his journey I'd run away fast. The term "pathological over-discloser" comes to mind. You are not conducting a job interview. You're not selling a used car. Do you do this with people who become your friends?
I don't wish to sound harsh, but that is the effect it would have on me.
edit: I once met a man for coffee while I lived in STL. By the time I got back to the office, he'd sent me an email asking me to rate all the elements of our coffee on a scale of 1 to 10. F*#king weird! I never contacted him again.
|
|
salad
climber
Escondido
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 02:01pm PT
|
i guess all i can add to this is that if the offspring is a female, and over 18, try like hell to land them both, preferably at the same time.
|
|
zip
Trad climber
pacific beach, ca
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 11, 2009 - 02:02pm PT
|
Callie,
I appreciate your candor, but she asked me for this info.
I met her through one of my online groups that I belong to, and she sent me a brief bio, and requested same from me.
|
|
John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 02:27pm PT
|
Good for you Zip, I hope things work out.
"pathological over-discloser"...
hahaha. now thats funny. Another good laugh today.
|
|
cleo
Social climber
Berkeley, CA
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 02:32pm PT
|
salad...
eeewwww!!!
lol
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 02:46pm PT
|
Fatty, yes and no.. I was at the facelift that year. I think I did interact with all the people in your photo (Ishun confirmed, ah nuts!) but I didn't go to any of of the VC events.
|
|
nature
climber
Tucson, AZ
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 02:49pm PT
|
salad!!!!!
i'm sooo glad I didn't have coffee in my mouth!
|
|
Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 03:04pm PT
|
Good Zip. As I said, that is just me, and my comment was based on it being an uninvited email. If a guy (or a female) did it uninvited, I'd be creeped out for some reason.
She asked for it, so it's nice to respond.
Thanks also for taking the comment as intended though. It was not meant to be harsh. :)
|
|
happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 03:08pm PT
|
I think the Golden Rule thing is a good suggestion. Every person/relationship dynamic is unique but in treating another as we would like to be treated, I think one has a good chance at having a positive experience.
I also agree with the suggestion about not meeting the children until the relationship has developed to a level where commitment is there(generally speakinhg, of course). Poor kids have a hard enough time wondering what "they did wrong" that daddy/mommy has left/died/whatever; the last thing they need is a casual person being foisted upon them and getting attention they might wish was available for themselves.
But Lois' "never, never adopt" credo - jeezus....that is just f'in cold-hearted.
|
|
tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 03:35pm PT
|
Karen, You wonder about us guys who never get married. I just got booted from an 11 year realtionship with a single mom. ( thats probobly longer and better relationship than a lot of marriges) When I asked her to marry me early in the deal she declared that I was not the marrying type. She said I was her best lover ever and her best friend and pretty much told me not to not ruin a good thing. The last time I asked her to marry me the first thing she said was. are you going to put my daughter through college? Didn't think that was fair because her daughter has a rich dad whose responsibility is to help put his daughter through college. Anyways we are still friends, No bad blood. totally weird how it ended though. We were still best friends and lovers but she made an intelectual decision that when her daughter went off to college that she was fireing me and entering a different phase of her life. Much time spent in Europe etc where I can't afford to travel... I guess I would have understood easier if I had done something mean to her. That was never going to happen though so she had to just go ahead and fire me...
I have no higher education other than a 4th dan black belt. Instead of going to college I went to work. The result is that I work super hard and never get ahead due to some bad money decisions in the past bla, bla. bla. I guess what I am getting at is that some of us single guys never married because the woman we fell in love with wouldn't have us..
Often its the nice good hearted gentle guys who fall through the cracks when the handsome type A dashing devils get the girl. The girl then gets treated like sh#t, hurt terribly and dissalusioned about men. She then goes out and finds herself another handsome dashing type A personality to treat her like sh#t which reinforces her bad opinion of guys. She may have a fling with a nice guy in there who treats her like a princess but she gets bored with that, declares him a wimp , gives him the boot and goes out to find another handsome type A devil....
|
|
tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 07:42pm PT
|
LEB, Please give the thread hijack bickering crap a rest. Some of us actually are interested in the topic.
|
|
Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 10:35pm PT
|
well ya old hag, you got one thing right in that last post-
you do belong in a cage.
(and as much as you'd love to have another chance to spar, i'm done with ya- yer so F'ing transparent it's just laughable)
my suggestion to those posters now and in the future is to ignore it, for the good of the ST forum.
peace(out)
|
|
zip
Trad climber
pacific beach, ca
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 11, 2009 - 10:46pm PT
|
Callie,
I appreciate, value, and respect your opinion. You're one of the smartest people on this site, and i know you have much more of a formal education than my 7 years of high school. I hope to go back some day and graduate though.
I am happy that you found the end of your rainbow in Boulder, and scored that elusive pot of gold, called love.
Your husband is a lucky guy, but i am sure that he tells you that every morning while serving you breakfast in bed.
I guess i owe you a long overdue apology for my behavior in that coffee shop in Seattle. I only vaguely remember that incident, cuz i was drinking a lot at that time. Sorry.
|
|
Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
|
|
|
Nov 11, 2009 - 10:49pm PT
|
Thanks Zip. I feel very fortunate to have the relationship I do.
I gotta ask though, what do you have in your coffee right now? We never met in Seattle!
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!