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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 4, 2009 - 11:49pm PT
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It was also September, 16 years ago, and I had loaded the camper with gear and stashed a little package that Lezzy Lizzy had slipped me two days earlier in Henderson before rolling down the slab to Moab for a proffered one day gig.
Kyle said they were shooting video in the Fishers and needed a technical sherpa for a few bills.
Normally that would be insufficient to get me to drive 340 miles, but throw Motown and working with Kyle and Charlie into the mix and its a thumbs up.
Now I'd known Charlie since he came to Colorado in '75, a full decade before I met Kyle, but Charlie's mom had been Kyle's elementary school librarian BITD in Virginia, and so they went way back as well, although they hadn't really become friends until likewise meeting again in Colorado when Kyle arrived.
Each of us had done lots of climbs with each of the others, but it was unusually rare for us to all get together at once.
This was all Charlie's fault of course.
I had once written in The Mountain Guide of Charlie as "the peripatetic super-guide" which he liked a lot until I assured him that it was a typo in place of "very pathetic stupid guy".
(It made Kyle laugh.)
I rolled into Kyle's at about 2:00 PM and we took his van to the Fishers to meet with some of the crew and check our loads, but were back again shortly.
In the late afternoon the house was hot so the two of us went into the basement which was pleasantly cool if lacking in headroom, but we weren't there to walk around.
I carefully unfurled Lizzy's package sitting across a small table from Kyle, and then showed him what she'd taught me about turning little more than a glass tube into a catalytic converter.
Now, my feeling on powerful intoxicants has been one more of curiosity, as anything that makes me feel as though I've lost control is more of a turn OFF.
But I went through a "sampling" phase and, what with Kyle's vast experience in the field, I felt obliged to fill in this little gap.
As the decade progressed it was an alternate stimulant that would, for a while, exert undue influence, but vastly more so for Kyle who was already suffering substantially from Crohn's Disease and could thereby benefit from its analgesic properties as well as the energy that he otherwise lacked, unfortunately as a result of malnutrition.
We've both been clean a good many years now though.
After near three doves in little more than four hours our ears were ringing and we went outside into the starry night with lightning shooting from our fingertips at will. We knew that our feet were touching the ground and our legs carried us with ease,.. even though we couldn't feel them.
I followed Kyle back to the Fishers where the crew was bedding down, but there would be little sleep for us.
Charlie had showed up, looked at us, did a double take, and mischievously sidling up to us said, "What have YOU been up to?"
We just grinned.
(At least Kyle grinned, and I thought I did, but couldn't feel my face.)
The next morning, a bit burned out but still game, we did our respective jobs and after shooting the final pitch we got a treat.
The producer wasn't happy about my pulling out my 8mm camcorder, but there was little to fear. I just wanted a home movie of the coup-de-grace.
Although he didn't land where he planned, I watched Will Oxx successfully do the first BASE jump off the Titan.
EEEEEEEEHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
From what I understand things then turned to crap. Although it was the first I was hearing of it apparently somebody thought I would be joining the team to rig for a clean ascent of the Shield, but there was no way my schedule allowed it.
I was headed home the next day.
A great rift grew in the crew when Kyle opted out as well. From what I later heard fists were even thrown. What a mess.
Eventually the Rock 'N Road video was produced.
Its all ancient history now.
Charlie did the Shield clean, a superlative achievement now rendered worthless by the selfish a__holes that continue to beat on it.
Kyle doesn't care any more.
And for sure Charlie doesn't.
Pretty soon I likely won't either.
This morning I visited with Kyle in the clinic.
His left arm hangs useless because of a stroke. His right leg amputated at the hip. His abdomen is covered with scars, an open wound, and a colostomy aperture.
Still he had enough chutzpah left to get himself consigned to the psych ward for thirty days for tossing his food. He hates food now and wishes he could live without it.
Actually he wishes worse than that.
He wants to go home.
But we talked and Kyle harkened back to a day 16 years ago when we hid from the heat in his basement and then ventured forth to 'bawl our pagan vaunts against the sky'. When we walked on strong (if somewhat anesthetized) legs, and climbed rock like there was no tomorrow for, indeed, there wouldn't be for some.
When I drove home this afternoon a tear came to my eye as I thought again of the daze gone by.
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adam d
climber
closer to waves than rock
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Thanks for that Ron.
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LuckyPink
climber
the last bivy
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insight and compassion
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nature
climber
Tucson, AZ
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excellent read, Ron. Thank you.
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aguacaliente
climber
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Ron,
I read your story and then I heard sounds from outside. I walked out the door and there was a fireworks display being shot off from the park a mile away. I went down to the end of the street and watched the fireworks launch, burn, and sparkle. Then it ended and there was just the smoke being carried away by the wind.
Now there's no sign, not even the smoke. But that doesn't mean there were never any fireworks.
Something once done, cannot be undone. We say that a climb is repeated, but it can never be truly repeated because unlike the first setting off into an unknown, the second climber knows that it can be done. No matter how many follow Charlie up the Shield, no matter how the rock is changed, it does not render the first expedition worthless.
We all have to follow in somebody's footsteps; even when Muir came to Yosemite, the Indians and the sheep had already altered its landscape. Sometimes, all that you can ask for is to live well and be remembered briefly.
Best,
AC
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WandaFuca
Gym climber
A survey where 68% preferred this Fuca over others
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Everything is meaningless; everything is meaningful.
(edit) some meaningless is more meaningful than some
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Kyle Copeland on The Bride;.....Kyle was a well-oiled desert climbing machine. Thanks for the excellent story, Ron. The best week of every year was always my spring break week at Moab, and at Kyle's house.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
Shivasana
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Thank you Ron, very thoughtful and from the heart.
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Chiloe
Trad climber
Lee, NH
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Kyle doesn't care any more.
And for sure Charlie doesn't.
Pretty soon I likely won't either.
Unexpected, intense & well told.
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hooblie
climber
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that's a real nice share ron, a gentle way of guiding us to a spot where footprints lead to a crossing.
it's the stuff that comes from the heart that makes the circle hold the fire
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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Thanks for that Ron.
Sorry for all that Kyle is going through and the pain I'm sure you are sharing with him.
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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Unexpected, intense & well told.
I was thinking along those lines. The unfortunate thing about the old folks stepping off the edge of cliff is that the rest of us have to step up to the edge in their place. Sadder yet is when they aren't even old.
Regards
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Doug Robinson
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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we went outside into the starry night with lightning shooting from our fingertips at will
Surefooted steps toward the edge, Ron.
that makes the circle hold the fire
This campfire is illuminated by poetry. All the more tactile when we go numb staring into the abyss.
Great respect and kind wishes to Kyle's journey.
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Ron that was really good. Thanks for posting the past to our current daze.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Sorry to hear about your friend, Ron.
Sounds like you guys lived some good times!!!
Keep doing it while you got it.
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wack-N-dangle
Gym climber
the ground up
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Thanks Ron.
Proud, to be in a world where people are there for each other, even when things are at their most difficult. I imagine that it was a heady space, but I don't think that you will regret seeing Kyle. I hope that your support for your friend comes back to you. Still, if it is what Kyle wants, I bet your wish is for your friends to try to see him, or maybe at least call.
http://www.bigeye.com/donotgo.htm
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Thanks for the hard reflections, Ron. Tough to see friends hurting. The real tragedy would be having no good times to lean on in the present. We are so fortunate to be tied together by climbing. So many amazing people...
"Charlie did the Shield clean, a superlative achievement now rendered worthless by the selfish a-holes that continue to beat on it." Right freakin' on!
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Thanks, Ron - a poignant and thoughtful piece.
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rick d
climber
tucson, az
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Ron-
Tell Kyle "hey" next time around. He won't remember me but we met @ A.5 several times long ago and I have always respected his climbing style and career.
Some of us are lucky to survive the 40-60 year age bracket without much injury. Some, don't make it due to accidents (like charlie) and some don't make it due to illness. We just have to think about those good times as your post Ron brought back to us.
just remember the red dirt our lungs have sucked in..........all good times.
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Bldrjac
Ice climber
Boulder
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Ron,
That was a beautifully written piece of literature, man.
So "Right On" in many ways.
Sorry to hear about Kyle.
Take Care,
Jack
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