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marty(r)
climber
beneath the valley of ultravegans
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 1, 2017 - 11:52pm PT
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In which two 40-something city dwellers get feral amidst the suncups and granite walls of the High Sierra.
June 21-23: Evol Traverse
"Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet ... then I account it high time to get to sea as fast as I can..."
~Melville
Were it not for my semi-rational fear of water I'd totally grock that guy Ishmael.
The plan was simple enough: use the night to get more day, avoid blisters like the plague, and burn off our first noses of summer. For me, this would likely be all the climbing I'd get in for 2017--daddy duty and urban obligations conspired against me. Luckily, Tim "Honey Badger" Halder had none of these impediments, and needed time away from soggy Seattle. Plus, how bad could the snowpack really be, right?
I had crested Lamarck Col three times in the past decade and three times I'd snail-eyed away. The proverbial waters felt deeper in the Evolution Basin, and yet the drive to climb the entire skyline remained, gnawing at me on my dawn patrol commutes, endless sessions of grading papers, and even while searching for the cooler part of the pillow. Isn't that what hunting whales is about?
In the end, we packed confidence, calories, and caffeine, though not in that order, and set out at first light from the Darwin Bench.
Up. Down. Around. Repeat. This seemed to be lingua franca of the traverse. The rock was clean--none of that kitty litter silliness I'd come to expect on these longer outings--but we hadn't anticipated how hot the day would be.
The section beyond Darwin consumed much more time than we'd expected and the call was made to bivy for the night, allowing us to do a simple rap and experience the most aesthetic portion of the route at first light.
In the end we made it as far as Haeckel Col before bailing into the frozen wasteland of the PCT. After a few hours of snacks, naps, and snowy coffee we humped it back over the col.
When it comes to snow, hops, and barley, I play Grasshopper to Tim's Sensei. You should see him boot ski! It's a thing of beauty. My rumpage? Not. So. Much.
After a few hours by headlamp we navigated a rugged floating log river crossing by the first Lamarck Lake, headed back to our rig, and contemplated our redpoint.
June 24-25: Tristes Tropiques
After a night of swamp cooler-assisted rest it was time to re-caffeinate and Black Sheep had the right brew at the right price. Several sweet elixirs and a breakfast burrito or two later we felt like were back on terra firma.
Now, I've got a BA in cultural anthropology but no amount of Margaret Mead had prepared me for the ski-capped, bikini-clad, hula-hoop ingénue emerging from the shade of the Wilson's parking lot. Since when were Bishop and Ibiza sister cities? To what milieu was she a familiar? In another era this star of the tarmac might have been made a good cult leader, but in this context Nieman Marxist seemed a more likely line of work. In any case, consider our minds blown. It was clearly time to retreat to higher ground.
Mammoth's Crystal Crag made a nice diversion and while the pub did open at four, we were convinced there were still worlds left to conquer.
June 26: Red Dihedral
Having developed a healthy layer of foot leather and re-acquainted ourselves with the Jolly Kone's finer frozen offerings we headed up Little Slide Canyon and battled gail force winds on the Hulk's Red Dihedral. We had the place nearly to ourselves and a good time was had by all.
June 27: Third Pillar of Dana
By this point our paws had been bloodied, we'd lost our baby fat, and Tim and I practically spoke a language of our own, equal parts Repo Man references and non-sequitur observations about the tech-bro takeover of our respective cities. With one final day to get busy our attention turned to Tioga Pass and a route that even SuperTypo's crumudgeon-at-arms Jim Donini could enjoy.
Again, we got a leisurely start, stashed some malted beverages by the roadside, and ambled toward the Dana Plateau.
June 28: Back to Base
Like every other climber with robust internet I've been enamored by the exploits of America's fit homeless. Reading summit registers, though, one gets a better sense of just how much bad-assery the Range serves up. Mike D. from Oakland who summited Mt. Darwin in ski boots and crampons then skied the North Couloir with his buddies, or John S. who climbed AstroHulk with his 14 year-old daughter (!!!) come to mind. These are the folks who really deserve our--or at least my--attention and acclaim.
All in all we came back alive, came back friends, and came back with a few stories to tell.
Even after 30 years of goofing off in the Sierra I return humbled by the beauty and breadth of the place.
Now if only they can fix the roof on TPR so I can get my hands on this year's first wedge of pie.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Great TR and a fine read before beddy-bye time. TFPU!
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Ezra Ellis
Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
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This is great,
Thank you!
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norm larson
climber
wilson, wyoming
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Excellent! If I was grading your report you'd get an A.
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Nice!! You guys didn't waste any time this Sierra season start.
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Sweet ,
now where's the meat of the vote ?
C'mon Taco really this needs our collective applause
Post up you geezers !
this is a 'WALK' OF ART
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marty(r)
climber
beneath the valley of ultravegans
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2017 - 09:20am PT
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Thanks, folks! "The Conquest of Tillie's Lookout" is the obvious high-water mark of mountaineering literature as far as I'm concerned, and this was my little homage to enfootment and the escape from domestication.
Perswig~Talk about a 'plate of shrimp' moment! My big warm-up to this week was catching Fripp's latest assemblage at the Fox in Oakland. Talk about making 70 a threat!
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guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
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Refreshing TR to say the least! Thanks............
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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#minivanlife, for sure.
Did you two rappel in to begin Third Pillar?
And donini's only one of many crumudgeons (sic) on ST. He just happens to be more literate than most.
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splitclimber
climber
Sonoma County
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cool trip and trip report. thanks for sharing.
Dig the B-Rad Foundation shirt and props to Mike D, too. His pics summiting Darwin in ski boots was ridiculous.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Looks like a chunk of time very well spent! Thanks taking us for the ride.
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StahlBro
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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Huzzahhh! Great photos and prose.
Looking forward to gettin' some in August.
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Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
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excellent report! thanks
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Esprit de col!
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phylp
Trad climber
Upland, CA
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Wow, you got in a lot of great climbing in a short time! I'm happy for you!
Good TR!
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Bob Harrington
climber
Bishop, California
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Nice Marty! Hah, Tillies Lookout "...standing sentinel-like among the other hummocks" is my favorite phrase in American mountaineering literature.
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
ne'er–do–well
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If the sport of bouldering wants to really get their ticket punched - hit this sh1t up ...
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Peek-a-boo Velcro
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
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Nice tick list, Marty. Evolution Traverse looked stunning.
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