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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 12, 2006 - 01:59pm PT
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Here are a couple to get the ball rolling:
Q. What do you say to a bull-dyke with no arms or legs?
A. "Nice tits, bitch! "...
and
Q. How long does it take a baby in a microwave to pop?
A. "I don't know...how long?"
"Uh, I don't know either - I was too busy jerking-off to check my watch"...
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Hangerlessbolt
Trad climber
Portland, OR
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Dec 12, 2006 - 02:12pm PT
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I didn't see part I...so my apologies if you've already heard these; though, I offer no apologies if you're offended. DO NOT READ BELOW:
A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"
The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car – and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."
The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Dec 12, 2006 - 02:35pm PT
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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
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Ksolem
Trad climber
LA, Ca
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Dec 12, 2006 - 03:12pm PT
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How do you get a Nun pregnant..?
Dress her up like an Alter Boy.
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feelio Babar
Trad climber
Sneaking up behind you...
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Dec 12, 2006 - 03:49pm PT
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Worst part about being a pedophile?
getting the blood out of your clown suit.....
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Dec 12, 2006 - 03:56pm PT
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?
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fareastclimber
Big Wall climber
Hong Kong & Wales
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Dec 12, 2006 - 04:07pm PT
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This is not representative of my own actions or beliefs.
"What's the best thing about twenty three year olds?"
"There's 20 of them."
This is not representative of my own actions or beliefs.
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 12, 2006 - 04:14pm PT
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Holy scroll-bar, batman!!
Is that really necessary?
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Dec 12, 2006 - 04:19pm PT
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Two homosexual guys wanted to have a child. One donated some sperm and they found a surrogate mother to impregnate and waited.
The nurse called nine months later and told them to come see their new child at the hospital. They walked into the nursery and there were eleven screaming babies and one that was lying there with a smile on his face. The nurse told them that the smiling, happy baby was theirs. The two homos looked at each other and smiled, "Aren't we lucky, we get the happiest baby!".
The nurse said, "Oh, he might be happy now, but just watch what happens when we take the pacifier out of his ass!"
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Dec 12, 2006 - 06:30pm PT
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him:
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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feelio Babar
Trad climber
Sneaking up behind you...
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Dec 12, 2006 - 07:21pm PT
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So....a baby harp seal walks into a club.......
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Hangerlessbolt
Trad climber
Portland, OR
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Dec 12, 2006 - 07:45pm PT
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ba dum bum
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goatboy smellz
climber
boulder county
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Dec 12, 2006 - 08:07pm PT
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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
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Hangerlessbolt
Trad climber
Portland, OR
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Dec 12, 2006 - 08:18pm PT
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A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got phyrrea(*); and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."
(*)Mouth rot
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rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
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Dec 12, 2006 - 08:23pm PT
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Ok, I'll bite. This one is going to get me in trouble, but oh well.
Why is asprin white?
You want it to work don't you?
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Hangerlessbolt
Trad climber
Portland, OR
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Dec 12, 2006 - 08:29pm PT
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Q. What's the definition of Trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
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Rags
Trad climber
Sierra foothills, CA
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Dec 12, 2006 - 08:33pm PT
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So i'm f*#king this girl in the ass when all of the sudden she turns around and says, "This is repugnant!"
So I say to her, "That's a mighty big word for a five year old.
or
What's the hair between your grandmas tits?
............her pussy!
and
Q: How do you kill a retard?
A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?"
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john hansen
climber
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Dec 12, 2006 - 11:38pm PT
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A ship full of Romanian orphans coming to america to be adopted.
They hit an iceberg and start to go down
The Captian says 'We've got to save the Children!'
The Lawyer says 'Fu#k the children!..'
The Catholic Priest says ' Do you think we have time????'
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john hansen
climber
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Dec 12, 2006 - 11:49pm PT
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A woman goes to see the doctor. She says "I don't know what's wrong with me.. I'm always irritable and snap at people all the time, I feel so testy all the time... I think I have PMS."
Doctor says ,"Well lets take some tests and you can come back tommorow for the results."
Next day he tells her,"The good news is you dont have PMS."
"Well,,," she says " whats the bad news,,,"
"Your just a bitch."
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