Something funny

"my poor wife.
she is so worried about
everything uncertain.

so we have a gal here;
she sells insurance.

i think this one
is,
"long-term care" insurance.

for f*#ks sake!

so earlier today my
eight year old was making breakfast
and found a moldy though
still functional can
of whip cream in the fridge.

i told her to throw it
away.

a minute ago,
i was in the trash
for something and i
saw the expired can.

then i did what any
senseless dirtbag would do
and i drained the gas
into my gob.

tsssssss.ssss.tssssss.

i stand up, with bells tolling in
my mind and i look around
and the gal and my wife
are both fixated on my antic.

in my fleeting state of
mind, she very much
cast me a flirtatious
smile and i reciprocated
my best empty stare."