the journey with a sick child

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Tripod? Swellguy? Halfwit? Smegma?

Trad climber

Wanker Stately Mansion, Placerville

Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 30, 2015 - 10:10pm PT

seemed like a ridiculous place to post this but any parent that has been though similar will understand..
besides, the brotherhood/sisterhood of climbing has a power all it's own, and if a little of that gets focused her way if even for a moment..

The journey with a sick child. 9:30 pm march 30th 2014

I had thought this morning leaving the hospital where Violet remained, that there are profound lessons to be learned from the experience. That the trail by fire that we as parents go through during this time is really a beautiful thing that helps rip us from our "busy" (always "so busy") world and makes us focus on the present. We struggle, we freak, we despair, we stress. We stuff it all deep down inside of ourselves to help the child we would give everything for. To try and create a new image of our selves as the strong savior, the perfect parent during crisis. Some days there is no plan, no thought, it just is. Someday it's a movie and the nobility of the cause that moves us along. Some days we want support, recognition, advise, a drink. Everyday we just want our child better. We just do what we think we ought to do . What a "great" parent would do. In our mind we fight to stay strong and centered as our normal world fades from view and our new world spins itself apart as we stare seemingly powerless.

We wait. We Think of how we need to be. We wait. We worry. We try to put on our strongest and most heroic perfect parent face. We wait. Time is measured by the requests for medicine. The changing of the IV. The trips to the restroom. The coming and going of the nursing shifts. The unnatural hideous rhythms of illness and hospitals.

Then somewhere along without fanfare or announcement it suddenly seems it might be over. It might end. The trail may finish. The child will get better. Relief wells up from deep inside. Happiness for what is. Sadness for what might have been. The tears. The smiles, All are released from their visceral cages deep inside ourselves. We step outside and breath in the sun shine and see all round us the love that is humanity. Can we really have another world in the universe like this?

The weariness sets in. Finally allowed to be the pilot of the body, it lays us down to rest.
We sleep. Sort of. The body trying to transition from fear to hope

Then the calls. "There's a problem". A change in plan. Hopes dashed. Our world held in suspension had been finally released back into motion like a wind up car let loose only to be grabbed again. The wheels spin frantically in my head but the road is lost.

the lesson continues………..

NutAgain!

Trad climber

South Pasadena, CA

Mar 31, 2015 - 12:01am PT

The way you shared made me feel like I was in that space with you, but I am very fortunate and thankful that I am not. Having a sick child is a level of spiritual catharsis that I do not wish to experience. Whether it is fate or divine direction or random luck, that is the path for you, and it seems like you are finding whatever silver lining is there.

neebee

Social climber

calif/texas

Mar 31, 2015 - 12:09am PT

hey there say, ... oh my... just saw this... will surely be praying and will get all my friends to pray too.. they have kids, as well...

couchmaster

climber

Mar 31, 2015 - 05:14am PT

Few things are as important as your children's health. It makes most other topics on this forum seem unimportant, meaningless or petty in comparison. Thanks for the reminder of what is truly important. Good thoughts and well wishes to you and yours.