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Karen
Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
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Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 20, 2014 - 10:57am PT
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Yep, hurts like Hell, was with this guy for over 6 yrs and he just walked away. Even taught him to climb, we did so much together, skied, hiked, backpacked and I took him to places he'd never been in the Sierra.
His excuse for breaking up; never wants to get married nor even live together. Told me he was broken from the ex-wife (this was obvious due to his not getting ride of all her sh*t in his house~weird).
Must think positive, however, not easy when you've loved someone.
Words of wisdom would be very much appreciated from you guys:)
Karen
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Chippychopperone
Social climber
SLC, UT
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:00am PT
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You are now free to plan a solo trip anywhere you want, anytime you want, and do anything you want. This is a plus to being single.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:01am PT
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Generally, I try to look at these kinds of experiences in life(painful) as opportunities for growth. After I get over the blame part.
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Banks
Trad climber
Santa Monica, CA
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:05am PT
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I'm with Dingus, he was bad news. Better to deal with it now than waste any more of your time. I hear Locker is available!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:05am PT
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His loss.
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Bruce Morris
Social climber
Belmont, California
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:06am PT
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Yeah, like Wayno says, such occurrences, after you turn them around, often turn out to be opportunities for growth, renewal and new power.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:08am PT
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Hang in there Karen!!!
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Edge
Trad climber
Betwixt and Between Nederland & Boulder, CO
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:11am PT
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You deserve someone who loves you in return unequivocally.
Honor your feelings now, but also use this time to picture a better relationship and a brighter future; you can dream your own new reality into being.
(And some lucky guy out there has no idea what opportunity just opened up for him.)
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Captain...or Skully
climber
in the oil patch...Fricken Bakken, that's where
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:17am PT
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Edge is wise.
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Karen
Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 20, 2014 - 11:27am PT
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One thing for sure I'll be able to climb more! Jeff, thanks, what a sweet comment:)
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ground_up
Trad climber
mt. hood /baja
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:32am PT
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Every time I got dumped , and one was a marriage the next
relationship was so much better that getting "dumped" turned
out to be a blessing.
If someone can just walk away it wasn't meant to be , that
wasn't the right person . Now you can meet the one who is.
Get out there and be good to yourself , that is attractive.
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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Nov 20, 2014 - 11:34am PT
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All the old tired cliches are true.
Time heals all wounds. In the meantime take a hot bath and eat some chocolate.
There's plenty more fish in the sea. The key to fishing is patience.
Enjoy your freedom and time while you have it and let the universe bring the right person to you when the time is right.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Nov 20, 2014 - 12:04pm PT
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Sorry that you start the winter feeling blue. There is still so much of life ahead of you, and you will find good times ahead. Be your own best friend today. Make some plans or set some goals to give you some positive movement in life every day. While you can honor your feelings, limit that to a finite period so you don't wallow.
There are many people you will love. Many people will love you. Creating a permanent loving relationship with shared goals with someone you can live with - that is more rare.
You have been loved and will be loved.
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Nov 20, 2014 - 12:05pm PT
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That sucks.
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Gary
Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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Nov 20, 2014 - 12:10pm PT
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Sorry, Karen, but rest assured it will be OK.
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Nov 20, 2014 - 12:12pm PT
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Karen, I only know you from your ST posts, but those tell of a wonderful person. And if Jeff says you're exceptional, that's enough (for me) to confirm that the person I discern from your posts is, indeed, special.
I've never been the dumpee (or, for that matter, the dumpor) and not had the break hurt. I think I was an expert from personal experience on all the stages of grief (all the way to acceptance) well before I ever knew they were identified and catalogued. Knowing that, you have my profound sympathy. If it takes grieving to reach acceptance, nothing wrong with a few tears. The sooner you let it out, the sooner you advance.
And advance you will. From your post, I, too, think you had less than that to which you are entitled. It took me a long while to realize that for myself (I didn't marry until I was in my 30's, but we celebrated our 31st anniversary yesterday). Knowing the ending, I'm grateful, even for the pain of separation, because it ultimately led me to the love of my life.
One thing I know for sure: You have may friends and admirers here.
John
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Nov 20, 2014 - 12:55pm PT
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Guess you're gonna plan a kick ass climbing road trip with only YOUR itinerary to worry about over the holidays! Not a bad problem to have...
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thebravecowboy
climber
walking, resin-stained, towards the goal
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Nov 20, 2014 - 12:55pm PT
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So you're telling me that you just bought a lotto ticket....Congrats on reentering the game & happy hunting. Time will heal.
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j-tree
Big Wall climber
Typewriters and Ledges
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Nov 20, 2014 - 01:17pm PT
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Had my gf that I es head-over-heels in love with and planning to marry walk out on me out of the blue (and not the "we never talk I ignored her" out of the blue but the "we talk about everything and share our dreams and fears and support each other" out of the blue). She just packed her sh#t and drove away, no discussion or explanation.
Turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Mucci asked me to climb a wall with him to get my mind off things and I made one if the best friends I've ever had, and then had the best coule of years of wall climbing and personal growth I've had. Add to that the fact that not a single one of my friends expressed sadness that she was no longer part of my life and I realize I dodged a bullet.
Freedom is painful loneliness at first but oft gives a good foundation for growth and adventure.
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couchmaster
climber
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Nov 20, 2014 - 01:23pm PT
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Sorry to hear such things. Wishing you well Karen, I know it may not seem so, but this might be better for your long term happiness. Best to you, and may happiness and good health soon follow you the rest of your days.
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