Barfing on route!

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Swami Jr.

Trad climber

Bath, NY

Topic Author's Reply - Jun 9, 2009 - 09:40pm PT

Are you kidding me? You must tell the story. C'mon hardmen, too soft for soft poo stories?

salad

climber

Escondido

Jun 9, 2009 - 10:41pm PT

i puked at the top order (5.8) at the pinnacles once. it was 90+ degrees and i had partook in a bender the night before that ended about 3 hours prior to the lead. not my proudest moment.

Dr.Sprock

Boulder climber

Sprocketville

Jun 10, 2009 - 01:11am PT

dang, man, blew it out of both holes over the garden of eden last weekend.
i was cruxin a 5.9 when i saw two naked guys kissin along the san lorenzo.
almost popped a paw but the deck out is a deep hole so no big.

poison oak city so f*#k that place and the train trestle i rode in on.
bruce morris directions "500 to 1000 feet down stream..."
jeezus h, what kind of crapola beta is that?
thats like plus or minus 200 percent?
the only good thing about it is its right like 2 miles from the hemp lab.

Jaybro

Social climber

Wolf City, Wyoming

Jun 10, 2009 - 01:16am PT

More than twice for me, though I usually wait till afterwards.

There was a photo of Charlie Fowler looking bold on a desert tower that was maybe on a mag cover. In the caption it mentioned that he been sick and puked on the route, anyone remember that one?

mcreel

climber

Barcelona, Spain

Jun 10, 2009 - 03:50am PT

bump climbing content

E Robinson

climber

Salinas, CA

Jun 10, 2009 - 04:56am PT

Most of a bag of Pepperidge Farm jelly cookies and a mountain dew followed by the OW pitch on Power Point did me in...full length pitch made it hard to keep the splatter off Greg...not my favorite part of the route. Also let loose after a fall on the enduro pitch of Astroman...had to have been a grim breakfast. Yuck, but it's nice to be in good comapany.

Watusi

Social climber

Newport, OR

Jun 10, 2009 - 05:17am PT

I hate to say that I too had a bit of a chirp after a rigorous wide crack one afternoon...

Ghost

climber

A long way from where I started

Jun 10, 2009 - 12:25pm PT

Are you kidding me? You must tell the story. C'mon hardmen, too soft for soft poo stories?

Hard men...
...soft poo.

Yeah, with a title like that, I guess it's a story that needs telling.

But first, you should know that it's a story that has already been told. And not just told, but immortalized in the climbing hall of shame by my dear friend, Ms. T Knight. Check the center of the bottom panel in this excerpt from her first published climbing book "Lies & Slander From A Demented Little Corner Of The Coast Range"

But since some of you weren't even born back then, maybe it'll be new to you, so...

Hard men. Indeed, my partner on this adventure was one of the hardest all-around climbers of the day. Rock, ice, big walls, big mountains... He was a master of all. Well, all except his own intestines, I guess.

We were spending the day on one of the moderate-length aid climbs on the Squamish Chief. It was officially graded A4, but generally agreed to be a one-move wonder. Five pitches, but only one of them hard, and by modern standards, it would likely be A2. But the hardness of the climb isn't really relevant to the softness that erupted, so on with the story...

The day was cloudy, with rain threatening, but since we could bail easily from any of the belays we weren't worried, and we slowly made our way upwards. He led p1, I led p2, he led p3. As I approached the end of the pitch his demeanor changed.

"Hurry up!"

Well, okay. I'd felt a few sprinkles. (Of rain, okay? We're not at that part of the story yet.) But it didn't seem like reason to bail, or even to make haste.

"What's the deal?"

"C'mon, man. Get up here!"

"We're okay, it's not really raining."

"Raining? I don't care about the RAIN, you gotta get out from below me! FAST!"

"Huh?"

"I gotta sh#t. Oh, man, I gottta sh#t real bad!"

I cleaned the last couple of placements as fast as I could, and even as I was reaching for the bolts at the station he was pushing his pants down inside his Whillans Harness.

TOOOOT! BRRAAATTT! SQQUUUIIIIRRRRRRTTTTT!

Missed me, but it sure didn't miss the rope, which was hanging straight down beneath us on the slightly-less-than vertical wall.

What can I say? Two more pitches with a rope totally covered in diahrrea? Or three raps on a rope totally covered in diahrrea? Untying and jumping off seemed like a more pleasant choice.

But he was obviously not well, so rapping was really the only choice. The first rap was about what you'd expect. There were a lot of corn kernels which provided some color, though. And after the first rappel the rain started, which at least washed some of the grossness off us and the ropes on the next two raps.

So there you have it. Hard men & soft poo, back in the day at Squamish.

D

GDavis

Trad climber

Jun 10, 2009 - 01:44pm PT

AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Ottawa Doug

Social climber

Ottawa, Canada

Jun 10, 2009 - 02:42pm PT

I puked my guts out after carrying a huge haul bag to the base of Half Dome back in the 80's. Not climbing, just too much exercise and not enough water.

Dingus, that story was awesome!

Ciao,

Doug