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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 9, 2009 - 01:56am PT
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There have been occasional references in this forum to my red underwear.
Now many of you would probably get your panties (of whatever color) in a bunch if articles about them appeared on the internet, but then, most of you are American and have been force-fed all sorts of prudish nonsense, leaving you completely neurotic about anything even vaguely related to sex. Canadians, on the other hand, are internationally known for complete romantic abandon. One’s underwear on the internet? Mais, certainement! Hot. Hawter. Haughtest.
It is not surprising, therefore, that in America climbing has become a sort of “anti-sex.” A matter of purity, ethics, numbers… Bah! In fact it should be just the opposite. It should be about passion, and emotion, and… well… underwear.
Tami hinted at this in her “Ghosts utterly fantastic red underwear” thread, and I contributed a few words there. You can read that entire thread if you want to (it’s here: http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=734687&msg=735165#msg735165); so there’s no point in me retelling the whole story, but the gist of it was that a bunch of ordinary young Canadians (that is, hardcore, fun-loving, super-athlete sex beasts) went for a little trip into the mountains of the Coast Range a couple of decades ago, and enjoyed a perfectly ordinary week of savage weather, disease, stunning first ascents, wet’n’wild nights, disturbing helicopter landings and fixed-wing takeoffs, and, of course, underwear. By our standards, it was just another outing in the hills, but clearly it has not been understood that way, and perhaps needs to be framed in more approachable terms for those of you born in the cultural emptiness between Mexico and Canada.
Or maybe not. One man’s perversion may be another man’s Saturday night, but sometimes it’s hard to explain that to the first man. So, to save a few thousand words, here are a few pictures of what Canadian mountaineering is about. We’ll start with the usual yadda yadda about mountains and such…
It all took place in the area around Mt. Sir Frances Drake, a 9,000 ft peak that rises from the head of Bute Inlet. The terrain is like this
And this (NE buttress of Needle Peak)
Base camp was like this (Greg Foweraker waiting for a few back issues of The Economist to dry)
And we brought back one kinda post-cardish summit shot (Don Serl topping out on a short boulder problem)
But that alpine climbing sh#t only gets you through part of the day, right? And anyway, in the end, it’s not what you climbed, it’s what you were wearing. Whether that may be blue boxers with a cute airplane embroidered on them
Tighty-whities
Stripey underwear à la Tami
Or, for the hardest of the hardcore Canadian alpinists, the Utterly Fantastic Red Underwear
But in closing I should point out that like all great climbers, we did not reach these peaks by ourselves. To achieve the heights that we did, we stood on the shoulders of the greatest Canadian alpinist of them all…
R.I.P. brother
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Damn good stuff Dave. You really know how to put it all into perspective. Just what I needed to resurrect my soul from the holiday funkiness. Thanks, brother.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Excuse my YANKEE ignorance but wtf is a tea-cosy? Anything like a yid-lid?
Oy-fekking-vey.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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quite excellent!
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MH2
climber
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Even 'utterly fantastic red' may have fallen a little short as description for that underwear but the picture makes it all clear.
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Dropline
Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
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Hahahahahah. Inspiring. Almost enough to make a yank wanna be a frostback...;)
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
North of the Owyhees
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That's it! I'm buyin' me some fabulous undies, and I'm gonna hang out in 'em, in Canada! Looks like a blast. Powza!
Yeah, my boring old pataguccis would probably get me deported.I can see that exchange "And what do we have here? Hideous! Get out of Canada, at once!"
Or knott... ;-)
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Reilly
Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
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I think Washingtonians merit honorary maple leafs in many respects. Abandoned at birth as we were we blissfully danced to our own drummers like out northern neighbors.
To wit, I offer up a shot from the Mountaineers' latest edition of Freedom of the Hills, Chapter 3 - "Approach Attire"
On the dreaded approach to Brokeback Mountain:
But then real men don't need no stinkin' undies:
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MisterE
Trad climber
Raising Arizona
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My English upbringing tells me this is the tea-cozy in question
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 12:32pm PT
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Tea Cozy = Toque ya cover a teapot with, eh? Don't ya know anything ya hoser?
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Nefarius
Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
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They don't make women's underwear like they used to, do they? I'm glad they finally figured out that less is more. :)
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Thorgon
Big Wall climber
Sedro Woolley, WA
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Those red underwear are very stealth.. This is the right time for a thread like this one, I know there has to be a yarn to spin in an underwear thread, pun intended!
Thor
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MisterE
Trad climber
Raising Arizona
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Beyond just the sheer redness of the underwear, the ensemble is spectacular. The matching heavy wool socks, casually worn dress shirt, another-day-at-the-office demeanor, and wrap-arounds really make that shot money.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Some things are better left misunderstood. I flunked Hoseronomics. Is Greg hiding a conehead under that toque?
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Nefarius
Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
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"Hey now now all of us wanna wear assfloss. "
assfloss! hahaha Boy shorts are pretty hot too, for those not too interested in "assfloss"... :) I have to admit that I'm pretty sure that if I were a chick I wouldn't be wearing assfloss while climbing! Fo sho!
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 01:09pm PT
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Something that's worth adding, just to keep the climbing/underwear continuum from red-shifting too far, is that the first ascent of the buttress on Needle Peak (second photo from the top in the OP) was truly badass. John Howe and ?? crashed in from tidewater and climbed the thing first try, a year or so before we were there. It's gotta be at least 4,000 ft of climbing, and as to the approach... Well, we saw it from the air, and it is capital-B Burly.
Alpinism at its purest and rawest.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Ghost, in a slightly bluer mood.
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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I had a pair of one piece Stanfield's underwear when I started climbing in 77. They were white though. Sure got hot under those heavy wool knickers. Plus I had a 60/40 anorak from the MEC. The Kendall Mint cake would dissolve in the pocket during alpine rain. Next time I went to use it the Mint Cake had congealed into a solid mess.
Young people don't know how good they have it with all that great modern clothing. I started with stuff that would have been appropriate for the Alps in 1938.
Plus I had an uncomfortable Joe Brown helmet.
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