Fettucini Man of Mickey's Beach (R rated TR)

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AllezAllez510

Trad climber

PDX, OR

Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 24, 2008 - 08:18pm PT

After seeing that my Sonora Pass Monster story rang a few bells, I'd like to share a Mickey's Beach story.

WARNING: If you are prudish, stop reading now!

So, for those who don't know, Mickey's Beach (MB) is a quasi-popular climbing area north of San Francisco. It is also a nude beach popular with older gay men. I have visited many times before and since, but this is THE STRANGEST thing I have ever seen while climbing.

So, my friend Brian and I head the MB for the day. As we are walking down the trail, we hear Michael Jackson being played loudly on a ghetto blaster. Other than the child molestion thing, i've nothing against Jackson, so whatever.

We proceed to do a few warm up routes. After a few routes, I walk up to the bluff to drink some water. I peer down and there is a old naked fat guy jumping up and down kind of near one of the boulders. His johnson is flapping up and down as Michale Jackson continues to be blaired. I think "whatever, I've seen wierder."

We do couple more routes. I think I did Hot Tuna that day, not sure. Next, we decide to finish off the day by doing some bouldering. MB has some awesome bouldering. The sand was up really high by the entrance boulder (forgot the real name). There are some sick highballs which are usually impossible due to the jagged rocks which would impale you, but today they were do-able.

Unfortunatley, naked guy is right there, still jumping up and down, johnson up and down. We get on the problem, its high and hard (V4ish). I send the thing in a few tries and notice that naked guy, still listening to Michael Jackson, has taken to slapping his own ass. Definitley wierd. Brian gets on the route and goes for it.

Now, not to toot my own horn, but Brian and I are strapping young lads, not models but...you get the idea. So, as I'm spotting, Brian gets to the crux and is flexing and yelling and looking all sexy-like, I look over at naked guy and this is what I see:

He was jerking off left handed overhand. As if that was not wierd enough, he was cupping his balls with one of those pronged fettucini spoons with his right hand. GROSSSS!

Brian sends the problem, descends and sees this. Needless to say, we were out of there in about thirty seconds.

After all this, I want to know a) what's with the fettucini spoon? and b) if that's what he will do in public, what does he do in the privacy of his own home? Wait, I don;t want to know...

Sorry if I grossed anyone out, but most people find this tale mildly amusing.

Chewbongka

climber

Jan 24, 2008 - 08:24pm PT

What the hell is a fettucini spoon?

caughtinside

Social climber

Davis, CA

Jan 24, 2008 - 08:26pm PT

oh man, you guys never tried it with a fettucini spoon?

You don't know what you're missing!

Greg Barnes

climber

Jan 24, 2008 - 08:31pm PT

Did he look familiar - perhaps a Republican member of the US Senate?

atchafalaya

climber

Babylon

Jan 24, 2008 - 08:56pm PT

if he had any class he woulda used a gravy ladle.

Chewbongka

climber

Jan 24, 2008 - 08:58pm PT

I thought repuglickians were into tongs?

Splater

climber

Grey Matter

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:19pm PT

b) if that's what he will do in public, what does he do in the privacy of his own home?

watches fox news.

Mtnmun

Trad climber

Top of the Mountain Mun

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:24pm PT

LMFAO

Standing Strong

Trad climber

one summer dream

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:26pm PT

hilarious! that would have been a great one to bring to my human sexuality class last semester. we heard some pretty crazy stuff. but this one take the cake! (i'd say it takes the something else, but i'm not typing that word on a public forum...)

and... fettucine prongs? wtf are those?

Watusi

Social climber

Newport, OR

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:29pm PT

That's f*#king hilarious really...

Standing Strong

Trad climber

one summer dream

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:29pm PT

allezallez you have some good stories. you shoulda posted these sooner. what else do ya got?

Hardman Knott

Gym climber

Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:41pm PT

AllezAllez510 - I'm laughing my ass off, especially at the part about Red Rock being a nude beach
"popular with older gay men". I hung out at Red Rock Beach for many years before I started
climbing. BTW, it's known as Red Rock Beach to everyone but climbers, who represent a tiny
minority of the users of the beach. Furthermore, nobody that I've talked to who was climbing
there in the 70's knows who Mickey of "Mickey's Beach" is/was. It's almost like an urban legend...

Anyway, the gay guys used to have their own little area that was just North of the beach,
which was out of sight - out of mind. Only one time did I ever see anyone jacking off
on the beach - it was at sunset and me and my girlfriend were the only ones on the beach.
He wasn't even looking at us, because we were on one of the upper terraces. There was no way of
telling if he was a "older gay man" or knott. He probably just wanted to spray a load to the sunset...

On the weekends when the beach was really crowded, you might see a couple guys together
who could be gay. But they were a tiny minority of the crowd. So I'm curious where you
(and many others) seem to get the idea that it's a "gay nude beach". Interesting, to say the least!

I met a lot of nice women down there, just being myself and hanging out. (I'm knott especially
good at "spitting game", for what it's worth). Knott once did I get approached by any gay guys
in the years I hung out there. Get over your fears and check it out!

You might even get lucky...

Crimpergirl

Social climber

St. Looney

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:43pm PT

I am sort of creeped out that it took you 30 seconds to get out of there. What did you do in the interim? *snicker*

Watusi

Social climber

Newport, OR

Jan 24, 2008 - 09:47pm PT

boognish

Trad climber

Jan 24, 2008 - 10:00pm PT

We were bouldering at Stinson a few years back. My girlfriend got bored of it and announced she was going to walk down the beach. I assumed she would head north up the beach, but it was low tide and she headed south around the rocks and towards Mickey's.

She comes back a little while later "Did you know there is a nude beach on the otherside of those rocks?" to my laughter.

Apparently she turned the corner to find an old nude guy with a boom box on his shoulder swinging his wang to the tune of MJ Beat It.

WBraun

climber

Jan 24, 2008 - 10:12pm PT

Fuk?

First it's monsters in Sonora and now nude dudes with weird spoons doing weird sh'it.

I'm quitin climbing ....

Mtnmun

Trad climber

Top of the Mountain Mun

Jan 24, 2008 - 10:33pm PT

I heard hilarious stories of Hula hoop man at burning man this year. The guy with a true 12 incher flopping it around while hoola hooping on the various art cars and stages?