Discussion Topic |
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| Messages 1 - 16 of total 16 in this topic |
MisterE
Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 21, 2015 - 09:30am PT
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A co-worker related this one to me:
He was working on this old German guy's house doing some carpentry, and the old guy was looking at the work. Now this guy was recruited to the German war effort just before the end of WWI, when, as he said "there were 15 and 70 year-olds left to fight". He was 15.
He looks up at a panel of plywood, and sees what we in the trade call "shiners" - that is, fasteners that have missed the framing behind the panel and they are generally out-of-line and stick up a bit above the plane of the panel surface.
He points a gnarled finger at the shiners and says in a heavy German accent:
"Zis is why ze planes fall out of ze sky!"
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Psilocyborg
climber
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Jun 21, 2015 - 10:28am PT
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"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do"
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ruppell
climber
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Jun 21, 2015 - 10:39am PT
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"If I had a dog with a face like yours I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards."
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jun 21, 2015 - 10:40am PT
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"Yer gonna die!"
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Jun 21, 2015 - 02:04pm PT
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You may be slow, but you sure are ugly.
For carpenters-You hammer like lightning, never strike the same place twice.
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craig morris
Trad climber
la
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Jun 21, 2015 - 02:12pm PT
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One aw sh#t wipes out 100 atta boys.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Jun 21, 2015 - 02:23pm PT
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Two wrongs don't make a right but two Wrights made an airplane.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Jun 21, 2015 - 02:24pm PT
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...
but you can drown the ungrateful son of a bitch if you hold it's head under long enough.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Jun 21, 2015 - 02:41pm PT
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This needs a joint effort.
So let's roll a joint and make an effort.
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pinckbrown
Trad climber
Woodfords, CA
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Jun 21, 2015 - 03:58pm PT
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You're ruining the couch.
Can't you stand up to watch TV?
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yanqui
climber
Balcarce, Argentina
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Jun 21, 2015 - 07:41pm PT
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Actually saw this one on ST a little while ago (can't remember who posted it):
An old guy goes in for a job interview. The interviewer asks: "What are your weak points for this job?" The old guy answers "My honesty is my weak point." The interviewer says: "I don't think that's a weak point!". The old guy replies: "I don't give a sh#t what you think!"
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Crazy Bat
Sport climber
Birmingham, AL & Seweanee, TN
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Jun 22, 2015 - 12:31am PT
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He was so cheap he would fart in the bathwater and skim the grease.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jun 22, 2015 - 08:09am PT
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"What?"
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Jun 22, 2015 - 08:47am PT
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"That room is so small, you couldn't cuss a cat without getting fur in your teeth." Another is (said to me), "When you going to cut your hair and join the human race?!" All time classic great grandma Ruth, a hard drinking Dodgers Fan who spent most of her adult life in San Diego and San Diego County.
I have short hair now, so I guess I eventually came around...
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Jun 22, 2015 - 11:03am PT
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possibly funny, at least remotely evocative. of what i can't say ...
from an ancient toothless codger, delivered in a way back hollow(er)
appalachian dialect, whispering and leaning in close for conspiratorial effect:
"i feel more like i do right now?.. (eyes dart about beneath a furrowed brow) ...than i EVER have before"
it's a good line to keep in your back pocket because sometimes the conversation
comes to something of a lull, and you'd prefer that it dissipate altogether
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Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
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Jun 22, 2015 - 11:26am PT
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My 93 year old mother, "try not to live this long!"
My aunt before her death, "if I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself!"
My aunt again, "you spend the fist half of your life trying to kill yourself and the second half trying to keep yourself alive!"
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| Messages 1 - 16 of total 16 in this topic |
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