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rotten johnny
Social climber
mammoth lakes, ca
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Dec 11, 2009 - 12:01pm PT
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sorry if you are in a bind ...i had a 230 pound bigfoot like creature force his way into my residence and try to rough me up....i dialed 911 and the constables were there pronto....i knew the responding officer on a personal basis and he didn't want to file a report....what!....i insisted and he got a temporary restraining order which got served to the dip at his place of employment....i got the papers to fill out the restraining order but the 30 something pages and court appearance didn't fit into my schedule so i bought some pepper spray....best of luck
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 11, 2009 - 01:20pm PT
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hey there, say annastasia, i am praying for you real hard right now... i had trouble from my ex, once... but no one seemed to help, no matter where i went, it was an awful hard time then... but--god got me this far...
hang in there, pray too, along the way to help...
from other folks, i hear restraining orders do and don't---just as the other posters mentioned: and for said-same reasons... :(
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zeta
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Dec 11, 2009 - 01:46pm PT
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I worked at two domestic violence shelters (in MT and NM) many years ago, helping women get TROs, navigate the court system, and helping them get into safe housing. This is what I saw:
While TROs often antagonize the guy--and there can definitely be some escalation of violence after it's filed/delivered--it still helps b/c it keeps a paper trail that *eventually* the authorities/courts notice and recognize. When TROs have been repeatedly violated, the jail time increases and the courts begin to take notice.
TROs are designed to help & protect the woman in this situation and while it may be flawed, it's still better than hoping/wishing the guy will change. Whether the guy changes as a result of receiving TRO is a whole different story.
Unfortunately, many women were intimidated by the amount of paperwork required to file at TRO and just decided not to do it. Or they were so fearful of the consequences ("he'll get mad and beat me up") and decided not to file. Ultimately, the decision is of course theirs to make, but I still think that not filing a TRO puts women in a less secure place--b/c the courts, police still mostly do not take domestic violence seriously and prefer to just stay out of it.
the things that I think help women the most in this kind of situation:
--paperwork (having a consistent and reliable paper trail) that the system will rely on
--having local advocates (if there's a particular judge, district attorney, or someone in the police force) who actually knows about domestic violence, go to them and ask for help. In MT, we had a district attorney that thought domestic violence was something women made up, while the judge definitely understood how domestic violence works. Find out who can help you...
--utilize the women who work at domestic violence shelters/hotlines: most of these women have themselves gotten out of abusive/violent situations and know how to help other women. These women are awesome and totally committed to helping other women. They often have really great suggestions about how to navigate a woman's particular situation.
Anastasia, I've never met you, but am hoping you're doing ok. You've got a big network of folks here able to help here so let us know!
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Anastasia
Mountain climber
hanging from a crimp and crying for my mama.
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Dec 11, 2009 - 03:24pm PT
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Things are under control... I will tell you later about it but right now I must run out the door.
Please don't worry, thank you for your kindness and time!
I really love all of you!!!
Anastasia
P.S. Once I tell you the story you will see that this situation will be easy to control/help...
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Batrock
Trad climber
Burbank
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Dec 11, 2009 - 03:45pm PT
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Does someone need a little hickory stick shampoo therapy?
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 11, 2009 - 03:47pm PT
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hey there anastasia... say, we all love you so much...
god bless... happy to hear from you!!!
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Jingy
Social climber
Flatland, Ca
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Dec 11, 2009 - 03:48pm PT
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Anna -
Not sure what's going on over there, but... my opinion is that a TRO, or an RO will aggravate the irrational, and styme the level headed. Just depends on the person who's been served...
It's all in the eye of the beholder, you know?
Hoping for the best for you and your this holiday season
Cheers
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Beatrix Kiddo
Mountain climber
Littleton
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Dec 11, 2009 - 03:55pm PT
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I have been sleeping with ice tools, my fists and a knife beside my bed ever since some schmuck broke into my place. They serve a good mental purpose but scare off any men I willingly bring home. oops.
Glad the situation is under control. Creepy, stalker types are just plain creepy.
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corniss chopper
Mountain climber
san jose, ca
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Dec 11, 2009 - 04:05pm PT
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infrared , motion sensitive security camera's!
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Anastasia
Mountain climber
hanging from a crimp and crying for my mama.
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Dec 12, 2009 - 04:12pm PT
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Well folks, here is the story now that I have a "little" time.
First let me start at the beginning...
Six years ago I was involved in a not so normal break up. The guy involved wasn't very cooperative when I asked him to move out. I had to involve his father to get him out of my apartment. Then... When I brought over the computer he bought me for my birthday/christmas present along with his portal ledge and a few other items, he refused to take them back. He told me he would throw them away, burn them if I left them there just to get my hand prints off of them... He had done similar things to other things he owned... This includes ripping out the inside of VW van, removing all that made it a camper van during our previous break up to get "my touch" out of there...
Naturally I kept all of it and didn't feel guilty. He told me he didn't want them and that was that. Plus when I moved out of the apartment and had to pay for the damages he had left behind for me, I really didn't mind. He had overloaded the kitchen cabinets with his books and rock collection which broke their frames. I had to pay for replacing them which wasn't cheap. Never mind that he also broke my new fridge door with baseball bat in a fit of rage, etc. etc.
Well, that should be the end of the story, right?
Nope... It is never that simple in my life.
He first stalked me a little and than after I hooked up with Bachar... Well, I started hearing how much he disliked me etc. Not a big deal... I ignored that. I had moved too far away to worry about being stalked.
He once in while would email Bachar, but since I told Bachar everything... We both ignored him.
Then last year I started hearing that he was complaining that I had stolen those very same items from him. This was new... I wonder why it took him five years to think I stole something instead of when we broke up...
Anyway a year ago I received a strange email demanding them back. I ignored it since it was five years ago since the break up... The whole thing didn't sink into my reality. Especially since nothing was stolen, etc. It was a long time ago, etc. etc.
Then I started hearing that he was telling everyone he could how I stole things from him, etc. I didn't like it but... I ignored that too it since it is his trip and his lies are not my problem.
Then a few days ago I heard some disturbing news... I heard that he saw his old portal ledge and freaked out on the friend I had given it to.. He told the guy that he had stolen items, demanded it back, involved his now girlfriend and... Threatened violence... He even got my poor friend's bosses involved, placing my friend's job on the line, etc.
Now this was a new level of aggression that I could not ignore. I see him occasionally at the crags and this scares me. He is obviously obsessed and is now believing in his own lies...
Adding the numbers I am wondering when he will be going after me since he is just looking for a reason "real or not" to take aggressions out on me.
Yes I do want the climbing community to protect me. Right now I have involved his father and am waiting to see the results. If it doesn't get settled soon. If he doesn't back off, I am going to take legal action and...
I will release his name to you guys and let things happen. The only reason I am not doing that right now is... I am giving him one last chance to clean up before I return all these nice favors he has been giving me.
Hugs,
AFS
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Chaz
Trad climber
greater Boss Angeles area
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Dec 12, 2009 - 04:21pm PT
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I don't have any advice for you, just moral support.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 12, 2009 - 06:37pm PT
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Hey Ana
We're all with you here.
Let us know if you need help.
I'll be in from Colorado pronto.
Regards. . .
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midarockjock
climber
USA
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Dec 12, 2009 - 07:03pm PT
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If not real they could aggravate behavior. If a false claims
exist the statute of limitations maybe 10 years.
Again in 1946 a US Army aircraft flew into the Empire State
Building causing immediate enactment of civil changes discussed
10 years or more prior at the beginning of the depression.
Discussions were between the house and senate leaders.
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midarockjock
climber
USA
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Dec 12, 2009 - 07:24pm PT
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I have until next week to file a petition for introduction
of evidence that was not introduced this week and not allowed
to be introduced. Hopefully it can be resolved with the petition
prior to going back to the appeal court.
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Anastasia
Mountain climber
hanging from a crimp and crying for my mama.
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Dec 12, 2009 - 07:30pm PT
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Hey folk,
Please know I don't want him beat up! No way! I just want him kept away from me. I want him kept away from my family and friends. I want him banned from functions and... I want everyone know he isn't honest, cool or a good person.
I want to be safe from him.
I also childishly want him forced to live with the reality of his lies.
AFS
P.S. I am just tired of being nice, descent and forgiving. I am done with getting beat up. Done!
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
Sprocketville
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Dec 12, 2009 - 07:41pm PT
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ok, alright, no more stalking and i sold the dang ledge on evilbay,
so good it will drive a man insane!
hey, did you know what you were getting into, or no clue like a chameleon on crack?
buy him a guitar and your problems will be over.
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Anastasia
Mountain climber
hanging from a crimp and crying for my mama.
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Dec 12, 2009 - 08:06pm PT
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LOL...
Spock,
Thanks for the laugh. For some reason you don't scare me.
:)AFS
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Dec 12, 2009 - 09:34pm PT
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I was informed of this post by a friend. This is the only time that I will read this post or respond.
My name is Ryan Mattock . if you have any questions or concerns about my character please contact me, and by the way I am the accused by the poster
First and foremost the thread that was posted about me by my ex girlfriend for the most part is false and defamous
My father has been harrassed by phone this week by the poster and he has asked her to leave him alone and will discuss this no further with her. He will stand up in a court of law if necessary.
I have been accused before by the poster of being a stalker but this is defamous information and completely untrue. In the event that she feels that she is in danger she should talk to the authorities, which is exactly what i have done at this point.
I have never stalked the poster and am not interested in doing so in the past or the future and have never carried out any acts or rage against the poster. I never told the poster to keep my belongings and it's all hear say at this point.
This post has been reported to supertopo but can't legally be removed at this time because the poster has not named me or used profanities
This thread has suggested that the poster needs to be protected from a violent person this post has been handed in to the police department because it has published an incitation of violence. It has also been handed out to several friends in the event that any thing happens to me -so that they can also contact the authorities.
I saw my portaledge at a gym-and asked for it back, no violence was ever threatend, these accusations are an imbarrisment to myself and my family. if need by I will hand in the disputed portaledge to the police.
I did contact the poster in the past to ask for my belongings and was refused, it's in the past and not worth this kind of energy.
I have been advised of legal actions and will carry through.
please contact me if you have concerns
Sincerely
Ryan Mattock
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Anastasia
Mountain climber
hanging from a crimp and crying for my mama.
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Dec 12, 2009 - 09:41pm PT
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Yup, that's him. I don't have to give names, do I? Please take legal actions... Truth always comes out in court. I will like that. Yes I did talk to your father. I am sorry for you that it didn't work.
:)AFS
P.S. Oh, his nickname here is Pyro. I am sure you all know him.
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landcruiserbob
Trad climber
Maui or Vail ; just following the sun.......
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Dec 12, 2009 - 10:06pm PT
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ADVISE:
-Take this off the net.
-Forget the lawyers.
-Come to an agreement.
-Never talk again.
How easy is that...................?
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