Discussion Topic |
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 17, 2009 - 05:22pm PT
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Why don't we ever get any of your stories here?
You've got a history of being bold and
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!
So give us a bone, put some slides up and tell us some tales!!!!
I promise, you won't have to drop your drawers. . .
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Mar 17, 2009 - 05:25pm PT
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(Just took her a seat near the campfire, really wanting to listen in...)
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couchmaster
climber
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:16pm PT
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(The old Couchmaster pulls up a chair, grabs a 6 pack and some popcorn: stars at the fire with his ears open and waits quietly........:-)
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:22pm PT
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You want stories about his bone????
Ewwww. I'm leaving this campfire
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:46pm PT
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A Hank story will always and necessarily include a hefty dose of bone...
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:50pm PT
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Bone home HC, everyone is waiting for a story......
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Redwreck
Social climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:50pm PT
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In "The Sharp End" he comes off as such a shy, retiring type, maybe that's why no stories here?
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:51pm PT
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Yeah, shy and retiring, that's it.
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 17, 2009 - 06:58pm PT
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Hanky-Panky,
As a warmup, or like if you feel short on ideas, (hard to imagine) how about a little elaboration on your 5.11 slab soloing spree down in Texas?
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 17, 2009 - 07:00pm PT
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Or the base jump that put you through a skyscraper window...
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 17, 2009 - 07:02pm PT
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Or even better, the south face of Half Dome. . .
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 17, 2009 - 07:09pm PT
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Or perhaps some discrete vignettes from your "film" career...
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 17, 2009 - 08:28pm PT
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And why not have your own slide show at Neptune's?????
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Place or Another
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Mar 18, 2009 - 12:32am PT
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Bump - cuz now we can laugh at our crazy stunts?
Tryin' a different tactic to get the hen out of the hen-house, so to speak...
BWaaaaaak!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 09:09am PT
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Hankster, you haven't answered your admiring legions!!!!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 10:05am PT
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We're waiting anxiously!!!!!!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 10:27am PT
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Now, how about Half Dome????
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WanderlustMD
Trad climber
DC Area (it's as bad as you've heard)
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Mar 18, 2009 - 11:40am PT
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heh, I've wanted to hear more about Hank as well. I got started climbing right around the time he went through the window.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Mar 18, 2009 - 11:44am PT
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Hankster,
The freekin' Hueco story was hilarious, although too short!
A subject I can relate to!! Er....I mean...climbing, that is.
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 18, 2009 - 12:33pm PT
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Hank was that the trip where I was responsible for keeping the Universe from entropy?
Or was I just driving?
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 12:37pm PT
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Hank
Cat got your tongue?
Come on, we've waited so long for this minute,
We wanna story!!!!!
A long one, a classic -- You've had so many!!!!!!
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Doug Robinson
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Mar 18, 2009 - 12:51pm PT
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Hank,
You once reproached me for gettin' it wrong in elaborating one of your stories. Sorry and all, but it just goes to show that we need you to elaborate them for yourself...
I like your acid-washed Hueco tale. Must admit that I could tell one or two of those.
Base104 told me the tale of you going through that window. Up close and personal on that would be good...
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 18, 2009 - 12:52pm PT
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"all I know was someone barfed toothpaste down the side of your car!"
Where it stayed for an inordinate amount of time.
You could always tell my car in a parking lot.
Burt, the one seated Corolla wagon, was the only vehicle respectable folk would steer clear of and walk as far away from as possible. Even the riff raff and car thieves would leave me sticky notes that said I was bringing down the market. For a good price some offered to steal me a new car if I would just take Burt away.
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Prod
Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
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Mar 18, 2009 - 12:57pm PT
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So Hank, I was wondering about that porno rumor? Was it a real porno production with hot porno stars? If so then who? Or was it just a long home movie kind of porno?
Just curious...
Prod.
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jeff leads
Sport climber
ca
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Mar 18, 2009 - 01:25pm PT
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Caylor has more lead in his pencil then any of us on this site. Bow down b's so swole and hot right now
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 01:40pm PT
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And that's exactly why we wanna hear those stories of his!!!!
He's da hardman!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 02:40pm PT
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Hanky poo, we don't need a book here, just more details. . .
hee hee hee. . . it's worth a beer to ya--
And why not get a show going at Neptune's?????
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Place or Another
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Mar 18, 2009 - 08:12pm PT
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Bump for fun, weirdness and lunacy.
Hunter Thompson would approve.
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 18, 2009 - 09:09pm PT
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Stand back kids.
I know how to work this detail...
Say there... hey Hank.... how's it hangin'???
Hey ... I'd gladly buy you a beer tomorrow for a story today.
You can claim tomorrow's beer at the Southern Sun prior to the Bachar slideshow.
Deal?
Cool, I thought so.
Any story of your choosing.
Let 'er rip!!!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 09:30pm PT
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And I'll raise Tarbuster's beer to two!
We're all here around the campfire!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 08:17am PT
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Bump again. . . c'mon Hank. . . .
PULEEEEEESSSEEEEEE!!!!!!
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Prod
Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
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Mar 19, 2009 - 11:42am PT
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Throw us a bone Hankster, maybe a pic or a name?
Prod.
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 19, 2009 - 12:33pm PT
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A PINT sized story, but STOUT nonetheless...
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Prod
Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
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Mar 19, 2009 - 01:07pm PT
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This is a good one...
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Mar 19, 2009 - 01:31pm PT
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damn flyers are all crazy, no matter what type of wing they use.
nice
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Redlands
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Mar 19, 2009 - 01:32pm PT
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Dude, you're inside the building.
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Mar 19, 2009 - 01:36pm PT
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I'm looking at this thread, but I feel a great deal of fear doing so!
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Mar 19, 2009 - 01:41pm PT
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(I just opened another beer to prepare for the next chapter! I am playing with the campfire to hide my restless excitement.)
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 01:43pm PT
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Anastasia
Hoping not to cause any social anxiety, may I grab a beer
and sit next to you. . . I promise I'll behave. . .
:-)
I can't say that Hank will . . .
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 02:41pm PT
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More, More MORE comes from the assembled crowd,
all of them BIG TIME ADMIRERS of the HANKSTER!!!!
But they still wanna hear about Half Dome. . .
:-)
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GDavis
Trad climber
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Mar 19, 2009 - 03:15pm PT
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State of the art? I think you mean "primitive." State of the Art is a Stan Lee Movie. Southern Belle is like hunting a woolly mammoth...
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 03:49pm PT
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I can feel the tension build. . .
Man, keep it goin' Hank!
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Mar 19, 2009 - 04:21pm PT
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"This is when things get goofy."
my new signature, thx!
heh
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TKingsbury
Trad climber
MT
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Mar 19, 2009 - 04:32pm PT
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Good sh#t Maynard!
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Place or Another
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Mar 19, 2009 - 04:37pm PT
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KICK ASS!
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Upper Fupa, North Dakota
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Mar 19, 2009 - 04:57pm PT
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Hank, you forgot the part where we were dating.....
carry on.... GREAT STUFF!!!!!666
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 06:01pm PT
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Russ is gonna be there too?
Wow!
All star night!!!!
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Mar 20, 2009 - 12:19am PT
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SteveW, I'll give you a beer to sit with me. :)
Hankster! More!!!
(Wiggle, wiggle, melting my shoes in the fire. Stomp, stomp... Pretending that the burned smell is not mine, etc, etc.)
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Mar 20, 2009 - 03:11am PT
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what's it like to do the moves in that chimney that ya base out of? the jump looks cake compared to the sketch approach!
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wayne w
Trad climber
the nw
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Mar 20, 2009 - 04:21am PT
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Wish I could make the Bachar show...just a bit too far away this time of the year.
How about Ariana with Derek...
Hank?!
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 20, 2009 - 09:47am PT
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How about Space Lichen on Acid or Tiny Rubber Love?
Or Sixth Happiness? Block That Kick. Block That Kick. Block That Kick.
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couchmaster
climber
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Mar 20, 2009 - 11:33am PT
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(the couchmaster jams his face with kernels and waits...looking blankly into the fire - thinking of Alan Lester's wisdom on picking to lead the cracks and leaving the slabs to his partner....knowing that Hank still had to get off of Half Dome and that the rest of that story is still forthcoming)......
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 20, 2009 - 11:45am PT
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Whew, what's that smell? Hey Anastasia your shoes are on fire. Someone pass me a smor.
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Mar 20, 2009 - 12:44pm PT
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Multiple lines of sheer madness wrapped in blood and guts and glory. Scoot over, dudes and dudettes...I've got a fresh cooler of all your favorites right here. Pass the Hankster whatever he wants...he's really rollin' now. Doesn't get better than this...
-JelloAtTheFire
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 20, 2009 - 01:07pm PT
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Jello
Pass me one of those Sierra Nevada Pale ale's, please!
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Mar 20, 2009 - 01:37pm PT
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"dude, we're from Boulder and won't be rescued in Yosemite."
That is priceless....OMG, and then he carried you down to YV. Wow, you Boulder guys, must be something in the water or did you chew paint chips as a child? Seriously, what a effort!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 20, 2009 - 01:41pm PT
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Tell 'em Hank, it's just becuz you're an ELDO PRANCER!!!!
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Mar 20, 2009 - 01:42pm PT
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"dude, we're from Boulder and we won't be rescued in Yosemite".
Easy for Alan to say, huh, Hank? You guys were soooo close to pulling the knickers off the Southern Belle! She was haughtier than a virgin, and you nearly did her...
Here's that Pale Ale you asked for, Steve.
Speaking of virgins...don't imagine there were too many of those around on the set of that porno flick, eh, Hanky?
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Place or Another
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Mar 20, 2009 - 01:55pm PT
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Brutal. Hellish. Gripping. Excellent!
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Fletcher
Trad climber
here to eternity
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Mar 20, 2009 - 02:00pm PT
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One of the best campfire's we've ever had round these parts. You can't make this stuff up. Awesome. HST would be proud.
Eric
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Broken
climber
Texas
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Mar 20, 2009 - 02:29pm PT
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Outstanding thread. That Southern Belle attempt was one for the ages...
Also, as a Texan, I second Tarbuster's idea: the 5.11 slab soloing binge while in Austin is a tale I'd like to hear...
EDIT:
Also: "The 3rd worst moment of my climbing life was on the Belle."
What were the first two?
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Doug Robinson
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Mar 20, 2009 - 03:04pm PT
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this particular post is not right.
Whew! Pass me one of those Sierra Nevadas. No, make it two.
I was going to go skiing, but I'm glued to this boulder by the fire.
Singed shoe smell lingering
Acrid by the tale telling fire
Keeps me from swooning
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Prod
Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
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Mar 20, 2009 - 03:50pm PT
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Here's to you Hank!
Prod.
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James
climber
My twin brother's laundry room
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Mar 20, 2009 - 04:13pm PT
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Wow. I better get my goretex. This here's some serious spray. Can't say I mind it as much when it's mixed with such a good sense of humor, and exciting story telling. Cool stuff Caylor.
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 20, 2009 - 05:13pm PT
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Come on Hank there is more, so much more.
Here have a smor and a mocha.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
here to eternity
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Mar 20, 2009 - 05:19pm PT
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My ass is freezing and my boots are melting... but I'm not moving from this campfire.... bring on more!
Eric
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Mar 20, 2009 - 05:44pm PT
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A little intermission vignette on the doings of SWANK HANK.
In the early 90s I used to organize these mass outings to the dance clubs around Boulder.
Below is a typical shot snagged from one of those evenings featuring myself, Hank, Sue and Jane.
The morning after this picture was taken, the four of us lounged most of the day in bed,
Making cookie sandwiches with ice cream in between and drinking red wine while watching rented movies:
But that isn't the story....
On a particular evening aside from the one mentioned above, we were en masse in our usual inebriated raucous mode about town and there were more than a few "hookups" by the end of the night.
Prod went home with Allison (there have been two and I'm not saying which one).
....and Hank bagged this little dish named Anne, a 'hot to trot' blonde number who we all knew fairly well. She was a few years Hank's senior, then enduring a long stretch of rocky marital seas, altogether qualifying her as single and somewhat the wanton "older" woman, at least standing next to that green bean Hank...
We usually ended the party evenings and started our cragging days on the "The Hill", in the vicinity of Café Roma. So the next morning I'm strolling up for the usual late morning coffee extravaganza, when up pulls Anne's sporty little red four-cylinder and it sort of nudges up cockeyed to the curb.
She kind of fumbled out of the car, dazed, all akimbo and accosted by the bright sunlight and vainly checking her coiffure...
JUST WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT WOMAN HANK???
Well, clearly she needed it and got it, in spades.
Anne paid me that sort of look: "no point in keeping any secrets", she was totally disoriented, sorely in need of a cup of coffee, and had an aura like she'd just pulled an all nighter going backwards on the ferris wheel, having also devoured ALL the cotton candy...
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Place or Another
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Mar 20, 2009 - 06:07pm PT
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Juicy!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 20, 2009 - 06:14pm PT
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Hankster, that could almost pass for the Tarbuster man himself,
standin' next to you in that pic!!!
'cept we know it isn't, cuz it's not a cowboy hat. . .
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couchmaster
climber
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Mar 20, 2009 - 06:19pm PT
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So I'll probably screw this story up as it must be over 30 years old in my mind cause I heard it from Gary @ 1980 I suppose. but here goes anyway. My friend Gary (Gary Rall, owner of Portland Rock Gym) had just turned 16 and got his license. He and his younger buddy decide it's time to learn to drive pitons. So they pile in Garys rig and head to the local boulder for the shess.
Gary's up high on this thing, when the intersection of knowledge, youth and stupidity coincide and the words "Expanding Flake" entered the youths lexicon. the pin he was on fails -and as it was an expanding flake, a boulder split down the middle so to speak, no pro was between Gary and the deck which he hit much faster than you did Hank.
Broke his foot.
His left one.
It was a clutch.
His buddy was too young to drive and again: it was a clutch. So Gary drove to the hospital where they casted it.
His belayer? Could have it wrong, but I'm thinking it was Alan Lester. If you see him, ask Alan if that was him too. Tell him Bill Coe says hi.
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Place or Another
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Mar 20, 2009 - 07:49pm PT
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"Get ready, I have to clear some stories with ChrisMac though. "
"...and here. we. go."
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Mar 21, 2009 - 04:16pm PT
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Bumpski
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Mar 21, 2009 - 04:39pm PT
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hey there hankster... wow, after a story like that south face half-dome... whew... the two of you made quite team... (i am working backwards to see what stories are there, well, strickly climbing stories, at any rate... as i saw the list...)
how'd the ankles heal up?
as to your quote here:
"I begged and pleaded for a YOSAR rescue, a helicopter or whatever. Alan then looked me straight in the eyes and said "dude, were from Boulder and we won't be rescued in Yosemite". Alan literally carried me on his back to Little Yosemite Valley, a coupla miles. I then took a horse ride down to the bottom. Another crazed experience."
my oh my... somethings a man's just got to do, and... his ol' buddy take's the "back" seat...
:)
say, how WAS that wild horse ride... :)
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Mar 21, 2009 - 04:52pm PT
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hey there hankster... say.... after reading that ol' base jumping story... say, you were lucky to be still walking around this here "neck of woods"....
my you sure DO have stories...
but, wow... as to that half dome one, sure am glad you both made it, as well....
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Josh Higgins
Trad climber
San Diego
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May 19, 2010 - 06:14pm PT
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Bump for one of the better threads ever....
Josh
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tahoe523
Trad climber
Station Wagon, USA
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Alpinist Magazine just posted up Hank's account of Southern Belle.
Do you wanna take a 200' fall and blow out your legs, or do you wanna hold a 200 foot fall as the belayer? Behind every earthquaking leader is a bold unheralded person holding the other end of the line. The belayer of freaks should be recognized!
A bump for Alan Lester, the unsung hero. Thanks, Hank, for the incredible story.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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^^^^^^
Best use of "canoodling" in a SuperTopo thread.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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*quietly pulls up a chair in behind the big guns so as not to intrude too much, after setting another case down for everyone to get into*
This. is the best. Thread ever.
Hope we get more tales!
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Hell of a last story, (the inch deep drill holding the fall) and heck of a thread!
thanks all!
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Wade Icey
Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
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better'n a wolves' foreskin bump
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philo
Trad climber
Somewhere halfway over the rainbow
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Yeah Hankster, i remember that belay like it happened just 30 years ago or something like that. A date that will live in Hank-famy.
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Jun 11, 2011 - 11:44pm PT
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Bumping!
Bein as you said you were warmed up, and all :D
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YoungGun
climber
North
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Nov 17, 2011 - 01:39pm PT
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BUMP
More stories!!!
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steve west
Trad climber
Newport Beach
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Nov 17, 2011 - 09:27pm PT
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you still have those purple tights ? this is the other steve west the boreal guy...
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Ezra Ellis
Trad climber
WA, & NC & Idaho
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Nov 17, 2011 - 10:09pm PT
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BEST THREAD EVER,
Thanks Y'all especially Hank!
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