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WBraun
climber
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 17, 2005 - 11:26pm PT
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I remember this guy.
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WBraun
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2005 - 12:49am PT
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A trip down the memory lane ……for anyone who even cares ………
David Lee Roth hired Ron Kauk and me to help Galen Rowell do this album cover. His production people got him a horse to ride to half dome along with all of the other equipment for this shoot. David decided he wanted to walk and not ride his horse so I asked if I could ride it. “Sure go ahead” he says, “I want to walk”. Cool, I hop on and away we go.
Now Kauk was lagging behind somewhere else during this time sorting out his last minute details telling me earlier he’ll catch up to us. He catches up to the crew and asks where I am? They tell him I’m riding David’s horse. He jogs up the mist trail and catches up to me at the top of Nevada Falls. Ron tells me I’m not riding that thing by myself and he then hops on too. Shit! Two of us on that thing now. We approach towards the saddle the horse became more and more tired, somehow it made it. We make camp at the saddle for tomorrows shoot.
The next day we all troop up to the top for the cover shot shoot.
Galen is running around with his camera trying to figure out the best location. He spots his ace in the hole and tells Ron and me to set up David at the spot you see on that cover. Now we didn’t even have a bolt kit with us, and Galen wants David out in some no mans land with very little features for anything that’ll hold worth sh-it. I go WTF Galen there’s nothing out there and he tells us to do the best we can. Ok man, whatever.
Kauk goes down and places a bunch of A4 sh-it. The final piton where David is supposed to hang off is this pin Kuak puts in (a long med. Lost arrow) sticking more than ¾ of the way out. Ron tells me he hopes it holds David’s ass. Ha ha ha ha
Ron tells me to go to David’s position and set him up when he gets there. I’m on a separate rope and David rappels down to the last pin Ron placed. He takes one look at that thing and says “fu-ck! I’m not hanging off that thing, It’ll pull out and I’ll die”. He is now visibly shaking real bad and scared shitless.
I tell David that I’m the rigger and that he has to have faith in the rigger and the rigger will never lie to you. Now David has probably heard every bullshit line but then he’s never really aid climbed. I tell him that piton is one foot long! And that 7” of that sucker he’s looking at is buried in that horizontal crack to his total disbelief. Ron hears the whole dialog and starts to roll his eyes and hint to me keep it going all while Galen is starting to get impatient with our scared mans delay. Finally after more bullshit lines David buys them and gently as hell gets on that thing shaking like sh-it until Galen shoots the camera.
The shoot is on! David does his Hollywood mode. smiles and all in between bouts of shakes and deep breaths. Galen shoots off his 20 or so rolls in record time and David gets his rope back from above and jugs out. I clean the piton he was on with one jerk of my hand. Kauks eyes roll again and we’re out of there after cleaning the rest of that sh-ity mess.
And David Lee Roth becomes the “Skyscraper”
He gave me and Ron a gold plated carabinier engraved "Diamond Dave" on it, after the shoot. Sorry Ammon, ha ha ha ha
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WBraun
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2005 - 01:08am PT
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Yea, we did that one too. Breashears was the camera man in that one and some guy in Roths crew knocked a rock off over by the west buttress and almost took Breashears head off.
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golsen
Social climber
kennewick, wa
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Jun 18, 2005 - 07:41am PT
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Werner, I have been around the block a couple times, and when I started coming to this site and saw people urging you to write a book I didnt get it at first. I hope you will take the urgings seriously. You have a lot of history to share with Yos climbing (not callin you old dude!) that people would love to hear.
Thanks for sharing bro!
Gary
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Jun 18, 2005 - 10:22pm PT
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One more vote Werner, Write the book!
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Watusi
Social climber
Joshua Tree, CA
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Jun 19, 2005 - 12:54pm PT
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Yeah "Diamond Dave" was lurking around here in Josh also. He's was a bit out there!!
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JuanDeFuca
Big Wall climber
Chatsworth
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Jun 19, 2005 - 01:15pm PT
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I saw him at Stoney a few times. I think with Largo.
Juan
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maculated
Trad climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
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Jun 19, 2005 - 01:15pm PT
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That was awesome. You made the poor guy hang out, ropeless, on one crummy piton? Bad bad bad.
That's okay, that CD really sucks anyhow. My friend bought it sheerly because of the cover.
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rocco tuna
Social climber
slo, ca
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Jun 20, 2005 - 11:40am PT
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awesome story.
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burp
Trad climber
Salt Lake City
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Jun 20, 2005 - 03:26pm PT
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Klaus ...
Looks like Flakes of Wrath (5.9) on the potash road near Moab.
Enjoy!
burp
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Ammon
Big Wall climber
Lake Arrowhead
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Jun 22, 2005 - 12:45am PT
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That is a GREAT story Werner. I was riveted!
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Jun 22, 2005 - 02:41am PT
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Mad dog, cat wall?
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Minerals
Social climber
The Deli
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Jun 22, 2005 - 03:55am PT
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”With bass wizard Billy Sheehan already gone to form Mr. Big and guitar hero Steve Vai…”
I’ve never heard Bill Russell sing, but…
Mr. Big is a killer band (if you dig 90’s progressive rock/metal, etc.). Paul Gilbert, the original guitarist, is one of my favorites. Talk about shredders… Office Depot can’t even come close!
And Billy Sheehan… Sick! Fat, fat, fat… Base with a punch and plenty of noodles to keep things busy.
Steve Vai… played for Frank Zappa… incredible shredder with a unique style… I recognized his playing the first time that my housemate fired up Halo 2 on his Xbox. Same dude that provided the wicked bizarre guitar riffs and tones for Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. (although I have to say that Satriani is a step up in my book…)
Ok, time for some music…!
“The Audience is Listening”
“Now Stevie, now don’t be nervous honey, ok? I’m gonna go in, and I’m gonna introduce you, and then you’re gonna come in, with your guitar, and you’re gonna play that nice, nice music you were telling me about, and while you’re doing that, I’ll be sitting in the back of the room. We’ll have such as good time, so don’t you be nervous honey. It’ll relax everybody and we’ll be so happy… I’m gonna go now, I’ll introduce you, ok?
HEADS UP! Now, you kids you, all of you. Calm down. That’s good. Ok? Everyone, in your own seats. That’s good. Ok. Now, little Stevie Vai is going to play a composition on the guitar. He wrote it all by himself. Ok, Stevie, bring your three friends up, they can play with you. That Steve Vai, What a nice little boy.
I wrote this song for all my friends. When I grow up, I’m gonna be a famous rock ‘n roll guitar player!
Love it! Eh he he… Go ahead.
And this is my whammy bar and it’s gonna be loud.
Don’t you think that’s a bit loud? Boys!!! It’s getting too loud! You’re getting out of control. Boys, Stevie, now calm down class, calm down. Mr. Vai, you’ve gotta turn it down.
What did you say? You want me to turn it down? You mean down like this…!
Boys, what happened to that nice music? That sounds like noise Mr. Vai. And I want it stopped. You all got detention!
Uh, oh, here comes trouble.
Ayy, Vai, are you outta your mind? You guys, ya don’t back off, Ya must be crazy! I’m gonna flip-out. I’m tellin’ you. If this is my final flip-out, you guys are gonna go with me!
Ah, shut up.
Will you two stop dancin’ like that. Frankie, leave that girl alone! We’re not gonna have another incident like Mildred. Come here to me Vai, don’t you hear me? Come here you little snit. Wait till I get my hands on… don’t you run away. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, Vai. Knock it off! Get off my desk!
Hey Andrea, check this out!
Oh Stevie, you promised me you’d play nice music; people out of control, dancin’ on the desks, playin’ with the girls. That awful noise just makes people go wild. You gotta turn that music down Stevie, please…"
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Rhodo-Router
Trad climber
Otto, NC
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Jun 23, 2005 - 01:38am PT
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Don't you boys know any Nice Songs? We have children sleeping in here...
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Risk
Mountain climber
Olympia, WA
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Bump- I found this using MisterE's scrolling method.
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couchmaster
climber
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Great 2nd read 4 years later. Awesome Werner.
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murcy
climber
San Fran Cisco
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nice post and bump. werner can spin the tale when he wants to.
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Guernica
climber
s x sw
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Great yarn Werner, missed it the first time around. I hope you do write a book.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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WBraun, spinner of fireside dreams .... spin a little dream of any kind fo' us all. Smiles and Peace, Lynne
Edit: Yesterday was the 16th month to the day Dan flew this planet....so a story from any story teller out there would be so very cool. Any kinda story or parable ....whatevah'. :}
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there werner... say, someone bumped your ol' story here...
thanks for the neat share...
whewwwwwwwww....
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luggi
Trad climber
Atwater, CA
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Werner...quality....enough said
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Batrock
Trad climber
Burbank
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I worked at Sport Chatlet in La Canada back in 1986-87, during that time Dave would come in to the mountain shop and buy gear I could only dream of affording. Mike Hoover and Bev Johnson used to frequent the mountain shop from time to time also.
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dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
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How can anyone forget that spectacle?
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HighDesertDJ
Trad climber
Arid-zona
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God damn that is a fantastic story Werner.
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all in jim
climber
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that was great. you guys were rock stars.
thanks.
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dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
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I was eating out of the bakery dumpster . (It’s True.)
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pip the dog
Mountain climber
planet dogboy
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great read, Werner -- though when i hire you for my album cover i want two deep 3/8'a bolts, a screamer, two lockers, and my own horse.
as for the book writing stuff, you're already doing it -- and have been for a long time. you post up great pieces, a little at a time, in your time -- the right way. that will never be lost. then some long wet winter you just sit with a friend and edit it out. the material is already there, and growing quite nicely.
thanks for a great mental image, one well told,
^,,^
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Actually, friends, Werner and I ARE writing his book, but we are kind of stuck on the beginning part where Werner is a child.
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pud
climber
Sportbikeville
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Great story Werner. This stuff is priceless.
When I was in high school I remember Van Halen playing local parties always doing thier "you really got me" cover. I think they had a different name then. They were loud and crazy and perfect for the time.
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ec
climber
ca
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Each time I read this Werner I LMAO, as I know some of us have been the greatest con artists of all time to the unknowing persons in our care...
 ec
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
SoCal
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Doesn't Largo have a story about dodging poor old Diamond Dave in Irian Jaya in the 1980s just before he came out with "Eat 'em & Smile"??
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go-B
climber
In God We Trust
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HEE HAW HEE HAW HEE HAW!
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delendaest
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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great thread.
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bmacd
climber
Relic Hominid
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classic tale of High adventure, right down to the photographers shadow at DLR's feet in the album covers image shown in the first post of this thread
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Chinchen
climber
Way out there....
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He gave Galen a gold biner also. Its sitting in his sons house not 30 feet from me right now with the album.
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Fritz
Trad climber
Hagerman, ID
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Wow!
Great, and great fun, story.
Thank you!
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WBraun
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 5, 2010 - 12:53pm PT
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That gold biner .....
Some guy saw mine one day and said "Cool biner".
I said it's yours.
Instant non-attachment.
He owns it now ........
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ec
climber
ca
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The only thing gold I got from a client was a huge bottle of Cuervo Gold 1800.
I got rid of the empty bottle...
ec
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Braun.....can i have your tundra..? rj
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TripL7
Trad climber
san diego
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johnny, wrong approach, that will certainly elicit an ad hominem, with a characteristic avuncular approach.
A simple "cool tundra" would suffice.
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TrundleBum
Trad climber
Las Vegas
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Just now first time seeing this thread...
Kauk goes down and places a bunch of A4 sh-it. The final piton...
I think I still have coffee in my nose.
Werner you always tell it straight up.
Nice Yarn.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Who thought of the first responder tape job? Or did you guys want to avoid a lawsuit for damaging his mike hand?!? LOL
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Got to wonder if this is the first time that Werner claimed something was twelve inches long?
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ec
climber
ca
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and 7" buried in...
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TripL7
Trad climber
san diego
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Piton Ron!
You of all people(with that moniker/handle)should know that WB was referring to the "Long Dong" piton...crafted by either the Dolt or Coonyard, bitd.
Now, was it Werners long dong, or was it Ron's long dong? It obviously wasn't Diamond Dave's long dong, since Werner was describing to him, in detail, just how long of a dong it was, etc.
Just ask Brawny "Hey, do you have a long dong?"...end of conversation.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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As a veteran rock star, the man knew the value of falling for the "it's longer than you think" rationale! LOL
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ec
climber
ca
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TripL7,
I don't believe long med is the same as a long dong. It's much shorter...
ec
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TripL7
Trad climber
san diego
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ec!
You are correct. I missed that(med.)...plus I believe the 'Long Dong' arrow's were about 14" but not positive about that. Who did make them back then, do you remember ec?
Well, none the less, it was a great tale of daring do from way back when. To bad Werner wasn't taking pics back then. Suppose with G.R. taking care of thatt aspect of things it wasn't given much consideration(and like me, WB prob didn't own a camera).
Chinchen...that doesn't appear/look like a gold carrabiner to me. Looks like it is of the typical aluminum variety. But most likely it is my computer. How has Joe been treating you? That was a great TR on Crystal Crag by the way.
They must have been gold plated vs. gold. A solid gold biner would way in somewhere close to 12-16 0z. And be worth a hefty some at close to $1300.00 an Oz.
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bjj
climber
beyond the sun
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That's a great storey. I'm guessing this was long enough ago that some, if not all of it could be accomplished with photoshop? Even if it was just to erase a rope holding David.
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Chinchen
climber
Way out there....
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Yea, Gold plated.
Joe is a great boss. His company is a pretty cool place to work.
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Chinchen....Joe is a cool boss....yeah , just wait till he asks you to milk the llamas....rj
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the kid
Trad climber
fayetteville, wv
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that was a classic week. i remember that shoot. i carried a pack of gear up to the west face for the shoot that day.
got a picture of dave hanging out and when i did one of his people said, "no pictures"..
DLR got psyched on climbing and came to jtree a year or so later for a few days at a time, and would hire Kauk to take him climbing. I got to tag along on a coupe of those days and had dinner with Dave and Ron one night, DLR was a normal guy away from the bright lights, big city..
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TripL7
Trad climber
san diego
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That was lame on "his people's" part...sounds like DLR is an OK guy. Gotta hand it to him for hangin it out there over HD. No big deal for a climber, but for someone with little 'exposure experience' that's hefty in my book.
the kid-Thanks for the insight!
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
SoCal
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Diamond Dave belongs in this forum. Someone should invite him. He's totally SuperTaco material.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there all, say.... i really LOVE the werner-history-story bumps...
thanks for the bump...
:)
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Captain...or Skully
climber
or some such
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May 14, 2011 - 12:21am PT
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Diamond Dave is running some bad arm flab.
Almost Eagle chick caliber.
He's pretty old, though, right? Geezer material?
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Double D
climber
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May 14, 2011 - 12:28am PT
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Classic story Werner. Missed it 1st time.
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sween345
climber
back east
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May 14, 2011 - 06:22pm PT
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But with the newly enforced OSHA rules my tie-off is much SAFER than Dave's
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Bump for taco gold!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Write the damn book, Werner!!!!!
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john bald
climber
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Before I send off another vote for Werner's book....here's some more David Roth trivia.
Growing up in Altadena, I lived a block from his parent's house. Along with all the boys his age we all wanted to be rock stars. I gave up that dream quickly to scramble on rocks instead. We would see David around town doing house parties before they hit up Hollywierd. My twin sister even dated him once (jr high), she said the night didn't go well. I wonder if I will see him at the high school reunion this year (40th), but then I remembered he was shipped off to the "bad boy school" for one too many infractions at John Muir HS. Wonder if he ever did graduate....
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Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
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I love these tales that Werner spins.
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Onewhowalksonrocks
Mountain climber
portland, Maine
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I was at Stoney teaching a youth camp, about 15 kids. Dave came by and asked if he could hang with us. He stayed for 2 hours helping.
Cool dude, the kids could not believe it was him.
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujo de la Playa
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Apr 29, 2014 - 08:55pm PT
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Bump for Herr Braun's forthcoming book to be released simultaneously with
"The Long and Winding but Never Forgotten Lodestar Saga of 1977-2020"
BadAssKat
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kunlun_shan
Mountain climber
SF, CA
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Apr 29, 2014 - 10:31pm PT
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Great video with the Yosemite scenes, RyanD!
Werner, do you have any stories about the Lost Arrow Spire shots and the tyrolean? Were you there for that?
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Roxy
Trad climber
CA Central Coast
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Apr 29, 2014 - 11:58pm PT
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awesome story!! hahaHAha!!
yeah, seriously. write a book.
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westhegimp
Social climber
granada hills
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Apr 30, 2014 - 12:08am PT
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Great story. Thanks for sharing.
Wes
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Apr 30, 2014 - 12:35am PT
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One more vote Werner, Write the book!
Wendell (TGT) is right. Dude!!!! You have to write a book.
You'd be doing a disservice to future climbers and Hindus if you didn't.
Don't make me come down there and motivate yer ass!!!.
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WBraun
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 30, 2014 - 11:29am PT
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On the Lost Arrow spire shoot Dave was especially scared by the exposure.
He was trembling at one point.
But!!!! Like a true Rock Star Pro when the camera rolls he always delivers his true game face perfectly.
On the last day he was there he finally came into the cafeteria for breakfast.
He never came before because he didn't want to be bothered by "fans".
So we're sitting there eating and various people are staring at him when he finally gets up
after eating and says he's going back to his room.
No sooner had he left, then the Curry employees come over and grab the chair he was sitting in.
I go; "WTF are you guys doing?"
They said; "David Lee Roth sat in this chair" and ran off with the chair.
LOL HAHAHA .... so stupid.
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kunlun_shan
Mountain climber
SF, CA
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Tom Evans' colour choices :-)
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ionlyski
Trad climber
Kalispell, Montana
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What would be cool is to get David Lee Roth himself to post on this one. I'll bet he'd get a charge out of it; maybe get him back out on the rock!
Running with the Devil, yeah.
Arne
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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May 21, 2015 - 12:44pm PT
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Please do not encourage him!
Might as well jump is an annoying bit of noise.
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pc
climber
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May 21, 2015 - 01:22pm PT
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"might as well jump" made MONEY. Noise or not...Beats the shii Kenny G put out....
And what is he like 70 or something? Looks pretty good IMO... And yeah, uncanny Mr Smith resemblance. Hair makes a diff.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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May 21, 2015 - 02:02pm PT
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What a shame. This beautiful thread is almost illegible. So glad i saw it before the deletions..
Thanks again for the tale Werner!
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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May 21, 2015 - 02:09pm PT
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Ooooops, I thought this thread was about Ron Anderson, my bad.....
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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May 21, 2015 - 02:13pm PT
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The NPS should ask David Lee to lead a campfire singalong at Curry.
I'll suggest it to Michael Anthony the next time I see him in Glendora.
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TYeary
Social climber
State of decay
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May 21, 2015 - 05:07pm PT
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Michael Anthony isn't in Glendora anymore. Sold the house and now is ensconced in a house on the water in Newport Beach! Boat tied up on his dock, lights blazing, and Chicken Foot playing, the New Years Eve Blast was great!!!!
TY
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WBraun
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 19, 2017 - 06:38pm PT
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I hate climbing books, they're stoopid :-)
If I wrote a book it will be so full of bullsh!t that only the boob dufuss always would believe it :-)
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Aug 19, 2017 - 07:16pm PT
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Ho Man, that it such an awesome story! BOOK! BOOK! BOOK!
Werner's the real deal in more ways than one ☝️ He's told me a story or two and I've heard others.. and man o'man, i- and i think anyone that owns a guidebook would want His book centered on their coffee table! i love the humor He evolves throughout His storytelling😂 and everytime i reread it i learn something new, like wit a topo.
i hiked equipment up to lost arrow tip with Werner for a Marlboro shoot once(isn't book worthy tho) as it started to rain a burst came over the radio, "the shoot is off!" So we rested with a ciggy, Then proceeded to race down faster then a ram down the hill to The Wiggins' Spread. OMG! Food and beer forever and everyone was there!!!And a fat paycheck to boot! I love you Earl, Werner, Merry
my best non-accomplishment day EVER
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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Aug 19, 2017 - 07:38pm PT
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Great thread, funny story.
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Aug 19, 2017 - 09:41pm PT
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Here's another one! Hahahaha
Aug 19, 2017 - 06:29pm PT
I've never heard of a biting yellow-jacket before reading this thread.
somebody
I've seen em eat dead people many times.
They fly right into their mouths and bite off chunks of meat and then fly away .....
Wernanator
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Aug 20, 2017 - 08:04am PT
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I'd read it,
I say;
Bring the bullsh!t Braun. :)
Count me in. It wouldn't be just a climbing book. I'm sure. Gotta be a lot of stories locked up in the duck's head.
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kaholatingtong
Trad climber
The real McCoy from the inside of my van.
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Aug 20, 2017 - 11:01am PT
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But Werner, the thing about a truly great story... is that it actually doesnt matter if its true or not. Write your stories, I for one would read them.
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Yeti
Trad climber
Ketchum, Idaho
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Aug 20, 2017 - 06:41pm PT
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Werner: As your old ski coach, I add my voice to those who encourage you to WRITE THE BOOK! You've given so much to Yosemite and the climbing community, that you should top it off with your perspective, tales and, maybe, some bullshit of the last 40 or more years in the great valley. I will be in line to buy a first edition. All best......Yeti
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Aug 21, 2017 - 05:31am PT
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I'll buy it too!
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Aug 21, 2017 - 08:02am PT
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You would be stooopid not to!
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Ferretlegger
Trad climber
san Jose, CA
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Aug 21, 2017 - 08:40am PT
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Write the book, Werner!!!
Regards from someone who has been watching you since the mid 1970s. If EVER there was someone who has seen the sh#t, done the sh#t, and knows the sh#t it is WERNER!!!
DO IT! Get someone to transcribe stuff you talk into a recorder if that is what it takes.
Michael
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Aug 21, 2017 - 08:41am PT
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I'm sure the reborn duck will only talk about stooopid ST and the grand computer all over that book. What the heart is full of, will drip out of the mind and down on his grand PC.
Don't spread ducktalk everywhere. Save the duck from himself and the future... It's a fair decision not to try writing that book...
Writing that book is fair too in the most improbable of senses...
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Aug 21, 2017 - 08:47am PT
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Marlow why you gotta be so smart!?
Oh yeah ur not Merican
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ron gomez
Trad climber
fallbrook,ca
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Aug 21, 2017 - 01:06pm PT
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Channel into his energy, then you will know all the stories.
Peace
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
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Aug 21, 2017 - 02:24pm PT
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Werner - Reason to write book: $$$$
If you have plenty of cash already, then never mind.
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Aug 21, 2017 - 05:14pm PT
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Not that I'd mention it, but after you write the book, you can tour it!
Win Win!
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Jon Beck
Trad climber
Oceanside
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Aug 30, 2017 - 03:52pm PT
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Reason to write book: $$$$
uh, the book business is dismal from a writers perspective, I think JL has made some comments on ST about the state of affairs in the publishing business. Niche non-fiction is a labor of love for which you might break even.
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hobo_dan
Social climber
Minnesota
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Aug 30, 2017 - 04:07pm PT
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Stupid Americans--I'm getting mine at the library
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