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Terri Watson
Mountain climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Topic Author's Original Post - Aug 12, 2007 - 06:07pm PT
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Amy Skinner called me today to let me know of the death of one of Lander, Wyoming's climbing community , NOLS community, and just darned good people community. Peter Absolon was climbing with a friend and was apparently killed in a rockfall accident yesterday 8/12/07 in the Wind River Mountains near Lander. I know little more detail than this, and that his wife, Molly Absolon, and their young daughter Avery age 7, are facing today what I know each of us prays our families never have to. I'm sure more details will be forthcoming, but in the interim, anyone on this forum who knows Pete and or Molly --- I know Molly will appreciate your support, love and understanding from a community that knows what it is like to lose some of the best. THanks for your support.
Terri Watson
Lander, Wyoming
Below is what Molly wrote last October when all of us in Lander were reeling over Todd Skinner's death. Molly is, herself, a climber, a mom of a young daughter, Avery, and now one of us who mourns the loss of a partner and could use the support of this community:
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I'm supposed to be working, but I keep coming back to this forum again and again, amazed at the outpouring of love and support for Todd and his family. I don't know why I should be surprised, because like so many of the people who have written in, I too was encouraged by Todd as I struggled up easy climbs that were hard for me; I too watched him reach out to my young daughter and make her laugh; I too heard his funny stories and saw him light up an audience; I too was the recepient of his incredible hospitality and generosity; and I too saw him with his children. He was a motivator. He was kind and giving. He made people laugh.
I've also been over to Todd and Amy's house and seen the sadness his death has left behind. Todd was an incredible light in so many people's lives and for many of us, that is enough. But it is hard to think of Hannah, Sarah and Jake growing up without him around. It's hard to think of Amy raising those kids by herself.
A friend of my father's once said,"Life is short, and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who walk the way with us. So be swift to love and make haste to be kind, and peace will be always with you."
I send those words out to all of us. It's how Todd lived, and how we too should move forward. It's how we can help Amy.
Rest in peace, Todd.
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dipper
climber
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Aug 12, 2007 - 06:29pm PT
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Molly,
I share in your unfathomable loss and send love and strength your way.
I have a 9 year old son named Avery.
Each time I think of him, I'll send the same strength and love your way.
Be well.
Richard
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Aug 12, 2007 - 06:31pm PT
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Ah man, this is a bummer. My prayers for Pete and his family. Rest in peace, brother.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Aug 12, 2007 - 07:18pm PT
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So so sad.
Rockfall has killed several of my friends and put me in a wheelchair (thankfully not for long).
It is the unfortunate adjunct to an activity that requires steep ground.
Be careful, be smart folks.
My condolences to the family and friends.
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M.Tea
Trad climber
Utah
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Aug 12, 2007 - 07:57pm PT
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my thoughts and prayers go out to all that are hurting over this unfortunate loss.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 12, 2007 - 08:39pm PT
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hey there all, i do not know them, obviously, but my prayers are for her and family... god bless... very sorry to hear this...
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Terri Watson
Mountain climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 12, 2007 - 09:48pm PT
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Pete became a NOLS instructor in '90 and has held a number of admin positions as well as extensive field work. He was, most recently, the Director of the NOLS Rocky Mountain Branch, the largest of the branch schools. I don't think he ever taught a BCS --- that would be Peter Chance.
Terri
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
St. Looney
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Aug 12, 2007 - 10:26pm PT
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Such sadness. I send my thoughts your way knowing they can do nothing to ease this loss. I understand that words are inadequate, still know you are in my thoughts.
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paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
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Aug 12, 2007 - 10:36pm PT
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Very Sad News. My thoughts are with the family and friends.
-Tom
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 12, 2007 - 10:45pm PT
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Was Pete an active local at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia twenty or so years ago?
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elcap-pics
climber
Crestline CA
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Aug 12, 2007 - 11:41pm PT
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Pete... no... no..not you .. we hung out some back in the day at the great Seneca Rocks ... this is terrible news... sad day....
a very sad day....
Tom Evans
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sister
Social climber
nj
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:15am PT
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Pete was an amazing person and brother. He lived life to the fullest and squeezed more out of 47 years than most could in ten life times. Molly and Avery -- we love you -- we will be there as soon as we can. Molly, the only thing Pete loved more than the rocks was you and Avery -- he was blessed to find his sole mate in you. We love you...
Pete is with his brother Fritz now probably looking for a good rock to climb in heaven ...no doubt!
Martha (Absolon) Delehanty
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Caroline Byrd
climber
Missoula MT
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Aug 13, 2007 - 12:22pm PT
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Oh Molly - Our hearts are with you and Avery, all our love, Caroline, Garry and Cate
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IFBIker
Trad climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 13, 2007 - 12:59pm PT
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Pete was my brother in law and a wonderful friend. I spent many happy days, climbing, skiing, biking and living life with Pete. He has always held a dear place in my heart and I will miss him.
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The LG
Sport climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 13, 2007 - 01:04pm PT
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Pete was always such fun to climb and hang out with, I will always treasure this past spring when we were working adjacent routes in Sinks Canyon. Every weekend, Pete would be there working, cursing, laughing, all of us having a great time. He was a wonderful keystone in our climbing community and he will be missed dearly. Molly and Avery, our prayers and thoughts are with you both. We will all miss Pete so much, what a great person! Adios Pete...
Leif and Lindsay
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AndyE
climber
Anchorage, AK
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Aug 13, 2007 - 01:10pm PT
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Hi Molly,
I am so sorry. You and Pete always made me smile. He was truly special.
Andy Elsberg
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handsome B
Gym climber
SL,UT
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Aug 13, 2007 - 01:13pm PT
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I wish you strength in this time of hardship. Pete, as a fellow climber, will be missed.
-brendan
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hscureman
climber
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Aug 13, 2007 - 01:38pm PT
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Wow - not sure how to digest it all. Never met a man like him. So full of life, so balanced and so kind to everyone. He had this remarkable ability to relate to everyone. I was blessed to have him as a supervisor for the past 2 1/2 years in which I am grateful that I told him were my BEST 2 1/2 years - all due to him!! His talents were beyond just being an amazing athelete - he was an amazing friend, boss, co-worker and just an amazing human. You will be so missed by everyone.
My thoughts are with Molly and Avery who were so blessed to have the most incredible husband and dad in the world.
Heather
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newAAC
Trad climber
Denver, Colorado
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Aug 13, 2007 - 01:52pm PT
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Here is what we know.
Pete was doing a new route near Lander in Leg Lake Cirque. He had completed a lead and was anchored about 800 feet up the wall. His partner had just arrived at the belay. The rock was thrown or pushed off by a hiker from the summit plateau 300 feet above. The thrower looked over the edge, saw it hit Pete, then dialed 911. The rock hit the back of Pete’s helmet covered head. He must have died instantly. I don’t know much about the thrower: I think he is from Casper, a veteran of two tours in Iraq.
Pete’s body was flown out Sunday night by a Jenny Lake rescue team led by Renny Jackson.
Pete’s family requests that stories about Pete be added to this thread.
Services will be held in Lander Wyoming on Sunday, August 19: location to be determined.
I will post more as I learn more.
Phil Powers
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Rhodo-Router
Gym climber
Otto, NC
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Aug 13, 2007 - 02:12pm PT
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Hideous.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
CT
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Aug 13, 2007 - 02:18pm PT
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I'm one of Molly's sisters- we are all so shocked and will miss Pete terribly. Thank you to all the Lander friends who have immediately stepped in to help Molly and Avery. This is such a horribly sad time, but it helps knowing that you all are there giving her the love and support she needs when we are still so far away. I look forward to thanking you in person soon.
It's also wonderful hearing in this forum how many lives Pete has touched.
Cornelia Armbrecht Brefka
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Floridaputz
Trad climber
Oakland Park Florida
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Aug 13, 2007 - 02:33pm PT
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My heart goes out to his family. John (brother) if you read this I'm very sorry.
Tim Shea
St Thomas 81'
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Gabi Kilko-Jackson
climber
Lander
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Aug 13, 2007 - 02:54pm PT
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I don't know how it can be. Pete was joy unfettered and will be truly missed by all. He was a happy man and loved by everyone who knew him. Molly, Avery, I'm so sorry. But please always know and remember how much he loved you and adored you both. I will miss Pete so very much, and in fact I was still grieving over the loss of him as my boss (when he went to the RM) - he really was the best boss ever. But, I'm thankful that I did have the opportunity to get to know Pete and his wonderful family. I'm a better person and my life is better for having known him.
Gabi
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Tim Fisher
climber
Maine
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Aug 13, 2007 - 02:54pm PT
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I'm a friend of the Armbrechts, Ted's in particular. I met Pete a few times but mostly know him from Ted's stories about the adventures they had together. If you ever heard Ted talk about Pete, you would know that he was the big brother that Ted never had. What I gather from Ted's stories is that Pete was not only an excellent athlete and outdoorsman, but a genuinely great person in all respects. The real deal.
My heart goes out to Molly and Avery, the Armbrechts, and the Absolons.
Tim
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daendil
Sport climber
Indianapolis, IN
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Aug 13, 2007 - 03:37pm PT
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My brother Brian called me last night when he received word of Pete's death and I'm still in shock. I worked at the RMB during the summer of 2001 and always loved crossing paths with Pete in the office. His mischievous grin and positive attitude never failed to brighten my day.
I will always remember the last mental picture I have of Pete when we crossed paths on the trail near the Killer Cave at the Sinks: big grin, eyes sparking, enjoying the gorgeous Wyoming summer afternoon. Even for those of us whose time with him was brief, his impact was no less significant.
Bless you Pete. My condolences to Molly, Avery, his family and many friends.
Billy Darr
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adam d
climber
CA
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Aug 13, 2007 - 04:30pm PT
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I've been working for NOLS since 2000 and had many positive experiences with Pete through the RM. I just came off a backcountry rock course this week and now remember talking with Pete during my briefing a month ago. He always had time for questions about routes or to give advice on a course to me, and he was genuinely interested in what had happened in my life in the last year since I'd seen him.
My only experience in the field with Pete was on an instructor's mountaineering seminar in the Winds that he led in 2001. He had such a positive energy and excitement for teaching and the backcountry that was infectious. I remember a mellow AI3, 4 pitch route in Indian Basin that September that I went up with Pete and Hampton, my first multipitch ice route. Pete led pitch one, then he and I sat at the belay as Hampton led pitch 2. Pete grinned and asked if I wanted to lead the next pitch, but I said I thought I'd wait for the next route. Once we'd both followed and were at the top of the second pitch he asked me again grinning if I wanted the next lead. Of course this time I said yeah and it was fine and fun and I felt Pete was psyched for me to be doing something new. That positive introduction to ice precipitated me getting completely hooked and spending the next five winters on Adirondack ice. I remember tenting with Steve Herlihy that same trip as well and what a great time in the mountains it was. I definitely send my support and thought out to Molly, Avery and Steve.
Reading the NOLS email late last night about Pete, I found myself unable to sleep thinking about him and the risks in the backcountry. I appreciated his honesty, respect for others and the mountains, and though I spent little time with him in the scheme of things I know I'll miss him. I'm headed in to Moran tomorrow and I'll be thinking about Pete as I'm on the route.
Adam Dale
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Lulu
climber
Teton Village, WY
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Aug 13, 2007 - 05:33pm PT
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Linda and Tony Brooks were terribly saddened to hear of Pete's tragedy. We loved our visits with him as he related stories of our son, Charley Brooks. He was a man of tremendous compassion and will be missed by many. You have our deepest sympathy, Linda
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sally
climber
Finland
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Aug 13, 2007 - 05:37pm PT
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Dear Pete,
You are so loved by so many people and always will be. I will remember your easy going nature, and love of life and enjoying the outdoors. Your goofy grin and when you jut your chin out, like Avery and Molly also do. You all are such a team, like triplets. You were always so patient with me when we were out climbing or teleing, even though I was not in Olympic shape like you are or not as skilled. You never let on if I was holding you up, consummate patience and I so appreciate the adventures you took me on. In fact i remembered last night while i was not sleeping that you took my on my first climb on the Gendarme at Seneca Rocks, may that fallen sentinel be a symbolic memorial to you.
You were also always so forgiving with my intense, opinionated family (therefore epic decisions while 15 of us try to decide what to do next)...somehow a calm anchor while the rest of us were flying around and it made our family trips better having you there. I loved the years of visits to Lander and rambling around Sinks or Wild Iris, and eating some of your elk and drinking beers at home. I also remember with a smile your love of watching football..."gotta watch the game" and i can see your smile and raised eyebrows, your 'over-excited kid' look. And you calling Molly 'Scooby'.
I had a dream this morning after waking up too early and then lying there trying to get some more sleep before i had to start my day. I was in a room with Molly and some others, and Molly was sitting on a couch. There might have been a child sitting next to her, but then when i looked again I saw you sitting next to Molly and nodding and smiling to the conversation. I said to everyone "Do you see what I see? Pete is sitting here with us by Molly on the couch!" They didn't seem to understand and I reached out to see if I could touch you, and I grasped your knee. I exclaimed, "See him, I am touching his knee." And you just kept on smiling... and then I woke up.
I am so sorry you had to go so soon Pete. I still can't quite believe it. I will miss you very much. Thanks for everything. Molly and Avery will be well cared for....you all have such good friends in Lander and across the country. And the family will also be there for them. I send my love to your family too.
I hope you are flying free and will look in on us sometime.
Love,
Sally (one of Molly's sisters)
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 13, 2007 - 05:48pm PT
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Dearest Friends and Family:
I am Pete's eldest sister. We share with you your sorrow.
We love Pete so very, very much. The love he has for his soulmate, Molly, and gem of child Avery was/is something that we loved to witness when they were all together. The pain of these three not being together and the pain of knowing we will not have him at future family gatherings is beyond words at this time.
He lived life to the fullest. I am happy to share that he advised our son, Chris Herber to take the NOLS Semester in Alaska course. Chris is sea kayaking in Prince William Sound as I write this and will learn this terrible news within the next 24 hours. Please hold our son in your hearts during this difficult time.
Pete's passion for his work is a baton that Chris seems to have taken up. Chris wrote "I am sure that this trip is the beginning to a wonderful passion that I will pursue and continue for the rest of my life."
Pete was an inspiration to us all and so many. He accomplished so much in his life. He was our rock.
May the spirit of the Wind River be with each of you as you mourn our loss.
Love & Peace,
Mary Therese Absolon
Sister to Peter Henry Absolon
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blairstone
Trad climber
lander
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Aug 13, 2007 - 05:52pm PT
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like many people, i cannot quite grasp this horrible news. it's hard to believe that this could happen to a family so full of joy and incredible spirit. though my interactions with pete here in lander and with nols have been always been brief, i was always impressed with the genuine kindness and happiness that pete relayed to everyone he met. after having spent much time with avery this summer, i can see these incredible things in her as well. she is truly an amazing light... but how could she not be with such amazing parents.
while i cannot possibly fathom the pain of this loss molly, know that we are sending you all of the peaceful and healing energy we can find. please know that we are here to help in any way that we can. any day, any time, just let us know.
may peace be with you and all of this community in the days and weeks to come...
blair, phil, and isa
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InspiredByMountains
Social climber
Washington, DC
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Aug 13, 2007 - 05:54pm PT
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Thanks to Phil Powers for keeping us informed. We're all concerned about the family, especially Molly's parents, Ted and Calvert Armbrecht. Ted has served on our board for many, many years.
Our deepest condolences to family and friends of Pete.
Lyn Soudien
The Mountain Institute
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Angela Patnode
Social climber
Bozeman, MT
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Aug 13, 2007 - 06:04pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
My heart goes out to you and the loss you are experiencing. I know that you are surrounded with as much love as possible during this and I send a heartfelt hug through the universe for you both. Please know that Pete was one of two amazing mentors I had at NOLS during my time there and I had nothing but tremendous respect for him. He was a man of integrity, honesty, humor, passion for life, and obvious love for his family. He will continue to be a role model for me in my day to day living and will remind me to live life to its fullest with all the passion I can muster.
My prayers are with you
love,
Angela
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Lynn Morrison
climber
portland, or
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Aug 13, 2007 - 06:28pm PT
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Dear molly and avery
I’m thinking about you today. The only relief I find is knowing you are surrounded by that phenomenal community of friends that you and Pete have created.
What stands out for me in regards to Pete was his ability to look at the bright side of every situation, how to move forward. He was clear, strong and didn’t waffle about the important things in life. If you needed a straight answer you could always ask Pete and he would give it to you. When I conjure up his face it is smiling, arms in the air “right on”, Victory!” , even if it is just minature golf.
You will see Pete in Avery as she grows, talks, acts, moves…..there he will be and the background, the places we can’t see, his arms will be surrounding you, Molly, his very best friend and lover.
I'm looking at the photo letter you sent out this spring....thank you for sending it.
i'm going to try to come this weekend...all my love to you and avery.
may you find peace as you work through this tragedy.
i love you,
lynn, ross and amos
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Spencer Adkisson
Mountain climber
Reno, NV
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Aug 13, 2007 - 06:51pm PT
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Oh my God. How terrible. I didn't know Pete, but we sounds like a wonderful person. I was nearly hit by rockfall in a similar fashion at Lover's Leap, when somebody was letting their kid throw rocks off the top of the cliff above Corriguation Corner. Very heartfelt condolences to the friends and family.
....The things we wish we could take back.
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 13, 2007 - 07:18pm PT
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Thank you all for writing. It means so much to me to see names of people I've long lost touch with, others we see all the time, and those whom we've never met. I'm so sad right now.
Pete loved life, loved adventure and never had a bad thing to say about anyone. I will miss him so much. He was my best friend.
Thank you all for sending your thoughts our way. We need you all now.
Molly
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 13, 2007 - 07:31pm PT
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hey there dear phil powers... thank you for sharing insight on this sad death... it does not make it better in the steps that lead to his death--but having a witness and knowing what happened, but it makes it better for the family, than never knowing...
dear molly, and to your sister, and young child, as i know see and know better, who you all are now... i will keep praying for all your husband's hope and dreams, to manifest in your life--even though he is gone--this way, at least part of him will live on as your future unfolds.... no one wants to leave "lose ends" behind in life, yet, as we have seen, sometimes there is no choice, in view of what suddenly happened......so very sorry for your loss, once again... god bless and much love to you all....
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bob d'antonio
Trad climber
Taos, NM
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Aug 13, 2007 - 07:33pm PT
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Very sad...my best to the family and friends of Pete.
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brian b
climber
Sarotoga Ca
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Aug 13, 2007 - 07:50pm PT
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Molly - so sorry to hear -we will all miss him.
Pete and I became friends after 6th grade --- lots of camping and fun growing up. We took our first rock climbing class together at Carderock and the last time I climbed w him w at Senica Rocks a year or so before you were married. He was a great friend and a major part of my growing up ---- Lois and I will miss him alot.
Brian
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Anguish
Mountain climber
Jackson Hole Wyo.
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Aug 13, 2007 - 07:59pm PT
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Molly,
Deepest condolences from Jackson
Powers' report is disturbing.
Angus
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Christine Rogers
Trad climber
Laramie, WY
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Aug 13, 2007 - 08:07pm PT
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Molly, Avery, and friends/family of Pete,
Words are so inadequate... We knew Pete as a man who loved the mountains, loved NOLS, and--most of all--loved being with his family. I remember coming around the corner to Killer Cave a few years ago and seeing Pete working a route, asking for slack from his belayer, Molly. While the difficulty of the route alone is impressive, I was most impressed with you, Molly. You had your hands full with Avery (she had to potty, and you were trying to pull down her pants with one hand while belaying with the other) and with Pete ("slack! take! slack!"), but you stayed calm and effective. When I offered to help out, I felt like I ended up awkwardly getting in the way. I know Pete will watch over you and Avery as you watched over them. Our thoughts are with you.
Chrissy and Brad
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Karl Sutton
Trad climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 13, 2007 - 08:25pm PT
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Molly and Avery, I am so sorry for your loss.
I had the opportunity to first meet Pete during my NOLS PIC course in 2004. He came up to Sinks Canyon to work with me and a couple other students on cliff rescue skills. Pete was an amazing teacher. He simplified often complex systems to make them easily transfered into practice.
I remember at Molly's birthday party this past year when Avery collided with other kids and had a massive bloody nose. She was yelling make the bleeding stop. Peter, when he was told what happened, said in his fatherly and lovingly way "Bummer."
Peter was a wonderful, compassionate human being who will be sorely missed. Darci and I send our love to you Molly and Avery in this difficult time.
Karl Sutton
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Maggie Shelton
climber
Austin, Texas
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Aug 13, 2007 - 08:31pm PT
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Molly and family, I just received a call with this sad news about Peter, and I found this website. I am so sorry and so sad for all that knew Pete. Though we have been many years out of touch, I often think of all of the Absolon family and the joy they brought to my life. My heart goes out to you, Avery, and the rest of the Absolon family. May the many good memories and good friends be there to confort you. Maggie Schmid Shelton
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Deputy
Trad climber
Wasilla
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Aug 13, 2007 - 08:44pm PT
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Molly & Avery & Your Families,
Pete will be missed by many. His laugh & love of exploring the outdoors is what I will remember the most.
Pete was a man of integrity, compassion, and high standards in everything he did.
You all are in my thoughts & prayers, Lisa Jaeger
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shelli johnson
Social climber
lander, wyoming
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:14pm PT
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Molly, our deepest condolences, love and prayers to you and Avery... and to Pete's family and friends.
I didn't know Pete very well but he sure was well-respected in Lander and the surrounding region.
Not too many years ago, shortly after our first son was born ... and I knew Molly and Pete were expecting...I was in Safeway and met Pete for the first time. It was right after Avery's birth. I wasn't 100% sure it was Pete Absolon that I was approaching in the cereal aisle but I took a chance and introduced myself to him anyway in hopes of learning how Molly and baby were doing. He was elated and beaming as he updated this stranger on Avery and Molly. He was so proud and full of love for his and Molly's new baby girl. That was the only time I ever talked to Pete but it made an impression because of his obvious love for both of his girls.
Molly, please call on us for anything during this most difficult time. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Our love, Shelli and Jerry Johnson & boys
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Nancy Daugherty
climber
Washington, DC
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:19pm PT
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My heart is so heavy. I was driving from Charleston, WVa back to DC today and came through Seneca Rocks and past the road up to Spruce Knob. I thought of Molly and Pete, as I often do when I'm in that neck of the woods. Today was such a beautiful day and it reminded me of their wedding on the mountain. I couldn't stop thinking about how wonderful that day was and particularly how wonderful it was to meet so many of Molly & Pete's friends & family who made such a long trip to be there.
It was such a shock to get my sister Sallie's telephone call when I got home. This tragic news still hasn't sunk in yet.
My family joins me in sending you love and prayers,
Nancy
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Leeser
Social climber
Missoula, MT
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:23pm PT
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To my beloved friend Molly and beautiful Avery,
Coming up with words is so difficult.....all of your friends are here for you, whenever you need us. The reality of this will take time to sink in, so please don't hesitate to lean on us, your friends, and your family for anything, anything at all. We are here for you.
My favorite memory of Pete is when I was hiking up the trail to Sinks with baby Ruby in a backpack on my back. I stopped to rest, and heard a very unnerving rattling sound. About 6 inches away from my right foot was a rattlesnake. I saw Pete up at the crag, and called his name. "Hey, Leeser!" he called with that fabulous smile on his face, "what's the matter?" I told him our precarious situation, and he came running down the trail with his long stick clip apparatus, scooped up the snake, and flung it down the hillside! My hero!
His kindness, his joy of life, his caring and consideration for everyone around him, and his deep, deep love for Molly and Avery were so inspirational. Truly the salt of the earth, someone we loved and will continue to love and celebrate through all of our wonderful memories. He lives forever in our hearts and minds.
All my love to you, Molly and Avery~
Lisa Lenard
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wiclimber
Trad climber
devil's lake, wi
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:29pm PT
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Very sad. Looks like he was loved by many.
My thoughts are with the family and friends of Pete.
May peace be with you.
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johnboy
Trad climber
Can't get here from there
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:42pm PT
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My sincere condolences to the family and friends.
Your loss weighs heavy on my heart.
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Hutch
Social climber
Lander, Wy
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:52pm PT
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I’m still trying to get a grip on all of this.
When I think of Pete and all that he did in his life, I think the most about Molly and Avery. I was always struck by how hard Pete climbed and yet how much time he devoted to his family. I remember walking down the trail from the crag on many occasions and chatting about life and family, and Pete asking when or if my wife and I would have kids. I never knew the answer, but loved hearing Pete talk about how being a dad was the greatest adventure he had undertaken. How it made his life so rich and full of excitement. How he was stronger and better because of it. His passion and joy at being a father made me question my own seemingly selfish and scared reasons to hold off on this adventure. I think about a long drive to Teton Valley, Idaho where I casually asked Pete how he and Molly met and I listened for three hours as he relived the story as though it had happened just yesterday. Pete had such pride and joy in being a husband and dad. I had the great fortune to work and play with Pete and to even be his belay slave at the end of long days in Sinks Canyon as he fired, one last time up Killer to set up the king swing for Avery. His excitement coming from the joy he knew she would soon be sharing through squeals of excitement and giggles as she twisted through space.
I remember Pete being so excited for me when I linked the first quarter of his ridiculously long and hard problem in his garage gym, and how he took the time, over and over to show me how to light the furnace during the winter months. I love warming up for an evening of climbing in the garage by bouncing on the trampoline with Avery, and spotting her on her beautifully decorated climb. We even named a hold “Avery’s Hold” because when she was younger, Pete would hold her up to it and she would swing around on it in the cave.
Pete was so full of excitement for life that I consistently checked my own reality when talking to him. He helped me to put things in perspective. To realize that it isn’t what one does in life, but whom you do it with, and how we enjoy that time with each other. I will miss Pete greatly, but will always appreciate and hold dear the time we spent together and the impact he had on my life.
Molly and Avery, you have my deepest sympathy in your loss. I hope that I can be here for you in any way you need. The Love you shared with Pete touched us all, and will continue to carry on in our lives.
Ryan Hutchins-Cabibi
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Jenna
climber
SLC
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Aug 13, 2007 - 09:52pm PT
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Molly, my heart goes out to you on this sad day.
I remember when I met you on my instructors' course in 2000; I thought, "this woman is amazing- strong and talented climber, accomplished writer, hard-core mountaineer, wonderful teacher- her husband must be a bad-ass!" ... The first time I met Pete was at your house after that course, and he was monkeying around on your climbing wall in the shed in the backyard. He exuded positive energy. He was my program supervisor on my first CL with Nols, and he was so calm and positive, so effortlessly great at what he did, the perfect mentor. I know there are countless instructors who feel the same way.
The comments and stories posted prove how well-loved Pete is. I am so sad for your loss and my heart and thoughts are with you and Avery. I'm glad that you're surrounded by people who love you.
Jenna Malone
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DI
climber
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:04pm PT
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Molly,
Marco just called me....Unbelievable ! it just seems like yesterday when I was climbing on Masherbrum with Pete..
I've got this great picture of Pete in our living room just grinning surronded with all the kids in a pakastani village listening to his walk-man...you can see by the sparkle in his eye at how devoted he was to bringing joy into peoples lives...
That photo has always been an inspiration for me to be a better person...
I deeply send my condolences, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
your friends
Dave, Renee and noah irwin
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Lloyd
climber
Lander
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:12pm PT
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I am so very sorry for Pete's loss. I feel so very sad for Pete's entire family, especially Molly and Avery, his friends, especially Steve, and all those individuals who Pete influenced.
I look up to Pete as a climber, skier, mountain man, family man, working man, a good, honest, kind, genuine man.... what a wonderful person!
I'll miss you Pete. Thanks for giving me that one last high five just a few days ago... I'll remember that forever.
Long may your spirit soar!
Matt
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Rocky5000
Trad climber
Falls Church, VA
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:44pm PT
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anecdote:
I met him briefly, probably more than twenty years ago, at the Gendarme. He had just set everyone to whistling and muttering under their breath by soloing the Crack of Dawn. When people asked him about it, he just basically shrugged and smiled.
"Man, are you just stone crazy or what?"
Shrug. Smile.
I'm pleased to learn that he survived those days and grew up right.
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Andrew Morley
Boulder climber
Boulder, Colorado
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:45pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
I am so very sorry for your tragic loss. Please know that our love and prayers are with both of you, Pete and your families. It is inspiring to see the love, support and cherished memories of so many friends and family on these pages.
I will never forget the first time Becky and I met Pete, when the two of you took us climbing in Seneca Rocks. Pete (and you) were so patient, encouraging and enthusiastic as you taught us novices how to climb (even repelling in the lightning storm!).
I will also never forget the dream and sparkle in Pete's eyes (and your eyes) as we ate burgers and watched the sunset on your new property in Lander. Your love for one another, for Avery, and for your friends and family is infectious.
All our love and prayers.
Andrew and Becky
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markwell
Social climber
seneca rocks, WV
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:46pm PT
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Molly
Pete was one of the original "Gendarme guys" here at Seneca, and will always have a place in our hearts. There's not much to say about someone who was so special and was a part of our lives for so long. We are deeply saddened.
John & Helen
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Marc 2
Social climber
Seattle, WA
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:50pm PT
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Molly -- I feel so terribly heartbroken for your loss. Pete was such a great guy and I have so many fond memories of you from our J-school days... I still think of you every time I wear the Masherbrum T-shirt I got from Pete -- you guys so brightened up every setting you were in. My thoughts go out to you and Avery.
Marc (UCB '90)
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MWhite
Social climber
Lander
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Aug 13, 2007 - 10:58pm PT
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Dear Molly, Avery, and Pete's family and friends
I am so terribly sorry for this horrible loss. Pete was such an inspiring person for me and so many others. I admire his honesty, compassion, earnestness, devotion to what he believed in, delight in the world, and unending joy in his life with Molly and Avery (aka Mol and Aves). Pete is a model of great character and I respect him immensely.
Liz is quite right to note that Pete will never be gone, as we who were fortunate enough to know him will carry his spirit with us.
I can't begin to fathom how terribly raw this is for you, Molly. My heart broke to hear you sob that you had lost your best friend and adventure buddy. I can't imagine how I can help ease your pain. I know I can't, but please lean on me, let me know how I can help now and in 6 months, cry with me, tell me stories about Pete, know that you and Avery are in my thoughts, and that I love you. Oh, and let me remind you how much delight Pete had in being your husband, and Avery's dad. He adored you both.
With love and healing thoughts to all,
Missy
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Lynne Wolfe
Trad climber
Driggs, ID
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:03pm PT
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Molly and all your/ our climbing community throughout the West and really the world...
Oh Molly I send you a big hug and all the strength I can muster.
So many amazing memories of Pete, of working with him in both your early days at NOLS, ahem getting the rental van somewhat lost out near Black Velvet trying to find a short cut back to the highway. Of us working the first ROC together in the Little Sandy drainage, cruising terrain and scouting for top ropes. My most valued memories are of us working so close together at the RMB as the first program supervisors, sharing an office, sharing opinions, ideas, conversations, and the conviction that no matter the situation, Pete had my back and I would do the same for him.
I will be over this weekend, a quick trip to show my love and support, but the real test of friendship and support will be in the long run. And I will try to be there for you then as well, those long nights in November when you need a friend to talk to about life, sorrow, joy. Call me and I will be there, and you might just get a wild banging on your door some evening when you least expect it.
Molly, your marriage was an example to me, of how 2 people can love one another and support one another, exult in one another's successes and allow one another to go and to do, and to return to the center welcomed with joy.
with all the love I can find...
Lynne
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Mr. C
climber
Boulder
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:05pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I am so incredibly sorry about Pete. He was as caring and genuine a person as I've ever met, and I know that he was a wonderful husband and father. Pete always sought the best in life and his "things will work out well" attitude inspired the best in those of us fortunate enough to know him.
Even though I have not seen you guys in many years, other NOLS folks would update me on Lander happenings. I'd always hear about your family, or Pete's work at NOLS, or Pete's climbing. He was a constant--the same energetic Pete I'd always known. His presence will be greatly missed.
Our thoughts are with you,
Marco & Laura
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Allison Dittmer
Social climber
Topanga, CA.
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:27pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I cannot express my sadness in hearing about the loss of Pete. Jason and I were sitting outside tonight recounting memories we have of being with you both. When I picture Pete, I always see his big, warm smile. I have so many memories of great laughs, belays, beers, and heart-felt moments with Pete. Jason and I are so terribly sad for you and Avery. We are here for you, and love you both.
love, Allison and Jason and Casey
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Janeen
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:27pm PT
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Molly and Avery my heart goes out to you as you grieve this tremendous loss. I can’t even fathom the heartache that you must be experiencing. Please know we are here for you and our prayers are with you and your family.
Pete was such an amazing man and mentor. I can’t stop thinking about his infectious smile. I have fond memories of our trip to Indian Creek when Avery as a toddler “toddled” around the base of the crag with her fingers wrapped around mine as we negotiated the crumpled terrain and Pete effortlessly cruised his way up an impossibly difficult route with Molly belaying and encouraging him. I often tell the tale of me asking Molly that day what the name of the strange plant was at my feet and Avery, barely two years old, responded with “Mormon Tea”. I was dumbfounded that as a toddler she was already identifying desert flora and fauna. But it quickly became apparent that she was a gifted young lady who had been blessed with truly amazing parents.
There were many winter nights where we spent climbing with John Abel, Camilla Barnes-Kelly and Pete working impossibly hard routes Pete had set in the garage gym. Although I could barely link the difficult moves Pete would encourage me and coach me through the intricate moves. Regardless of my awkward movement he believed in me, as a climber and as a budding instructor and later as a branch director. Often he was climbing while listening to “the game” as Avery and I practiced downward dog or jumped on the trampoline. I will forever cherish these memories.
Just last week, Ryan and I returned from the field and Pete invited us into his office to hear of our “field tales”. As always he took the time to catch up with old friends regardless of his busy schedule. It struck me what a true leader he was, caring, interested and passionate about his work. He truly was a role model and always has been, as a husband, father, climber and friend. Words cannot describe what an amazing person Pete was and the tremendous affect he had on those he touched. Molly and Avery, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Pete’s love and energy will truly shine through you two and all of us for years to come.
Janeen Hutchins
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Bob Vallevona
climber
Salida, CO
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:31pm PT
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Dear Molly,
It was just over eight years ago that your words comforted me when I lost Christine. How I hope you find some comfort in all the loving words your friends are sharing now.
You and Pete were blessed to have each other. It is always beautiful to watch two people you love and respect so much, find each other. That love you experienced will forever be a part of you and Avery. Please know that the gift Pete gave to your lives will continue to grow. Though I miss him right now, I know he will never completely leave us.
I've been flooded with memories of Pete all day. I see him everywhere.
I love you and will see you this weekend,
Bob Vallevona
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Andrew Davison
climber
Boulder, CO
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:32pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
Gary Wilmot called Brooke and me today with the horrible news of Pete's death. We are so sad for your loss and our hearts ache imagining the pain and sorrow you are feeling on this day. Pete was a person who touched many lives and left a lasting legacy through his family, his passions, and the NOLS community.
Molly my memories of my time spent with you, as my CL on an OEC in 95, left a lasting and positive impact that I carry with me to this day. Avery is a lucky girl to have a mother as strong and capable as you to guide her through this challenging time.
Please know that you and Avery are always welcome in our home and hearts. Our thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Andrew & Brooke Davison
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Susan Gray Gose
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 13, 2007 - 11:58pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery:
I am so, so sorry to hear about Pete. Not 10 minutes of this day have gone by that I haven’t thought of you and grieved for what you must be going through. The news is shocking.
Molly, I look forward to seeing you soon to give you a big hug and let you know how much I love you and Avery. I have always been drawn to the two of you. I know that this will be a dark, dark period to get through. But I also know that you two have so much life to live and so much to offer the world and all of us. I—-like so many of these great people around you-—will be there for you through this and on into the future when the living of life will go on.
My sharpest memory of Pete—-who in my mind was such a fun-loving, down-to-earth all-around great guy—-was at your birthday/anniversary party two summers ago out on your land off Baldwin Creek. Pete stood up on a rock, as I recall, and asked the large crowd of friends to hush as he had something to say. He then shared with all of us how much he loved and cherished you and the many years you’ve spent together. He called you “the love of my life.” It was such a beautiful moment. He didn’t hesitate to share the depth of his love for you in front of a large gathering. I was moved to tears then as I am now.
Molly, I love you and love Avery. My heart is with you. I will see you soon.
Susan Gray Gose
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Robin & Chris
climber
Missoula
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:20am PT
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Hello to Molly and Avery, and family and friends of Pete --
Chris and I got the news about Pete via email just a few hours ago, and the world still seems to be wobbling. Our hearts and prayers are with all of you.
Seems like most of our memories from my days in J-school in Berkeley involve you and Pete. I suppose that was because we were next-best-things to neighbors in El Cerrito. It's easy to picture Pete at potlucks or dinners in your little upstairs apartment, snitching all the scallops when your back was turned. And I remember all the Friday evenings we ended up at the Mexican restaurant in the nearby mall. Can't remember the name of the place. But I do remember that the guy who made the homemade tortillas really had to work to keep up with the number we ate. (But we needed them to soak up the beer!)
I also think of Pete almost every time I ride my old mountain bike -- new back in California 18 years ago, an old dinosaur (but still moving!) now. The couple times we rode in Wildcat Canyon with you guys (well, you two rode ahead, and Chris and I chugged along way way behind), Pete would wax enthusiastic, in the way only he could, about how much lighter and better our bikes were than yours. Lately I think "Not anymore, Pete!" every time I wrestle the bike down from its rack in the garage. Such a little thing, but it is always great to think about Pete. He was a rare one, one of the world's truly bone-deep positive and generous people. The planet is a better place because he was here.
Molly, I don't know your grief. Losing a son after a long illness is much different than losing a husband. But I want to be whatever support I can. And if Rosie can offer any kind of support to Avery, that is a bonus. We will be in touch, friend.
Much love to you all,
Robin Nielson-Cerquone
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alars
Social climber
Tucson, AZ
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:22am PT
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Molly, Avery, and the NOLS community,
My mom called me today with the new of Pete's death. I am so very sorry for your loss. I got to know Pete a bit when I worked at the RMB Issue Room in '97 and '99 and always found him to be psyched, smiling, and accessible. I cannot allow myself to believe that spirits like his ever leave us. Reading Phil's update makes this all the more senseless.
You are in my thoughts.
Alicia (Long) Larson
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Ret
Mountain climber
Laguna Beach, California/Merna, Wyoming
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:01am PT
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I was just reading through some old NOLS course logs I found in a box after our move, and I came across Pete's name. It made me smile. What a thoughtful, kind, generous, alive, and good person. What integrity. What character. And Molly, with her intellect, passion, empathy, ability to communicate, and enthusiasm for life. Before I got married, I remember telling my soon-to-be-wife Karen that I hoped we would be like Pete and Molly. Pete and Molly.
I had not heard the news yet.
Jason Dittmer called me tonight. What a bittersweet call it was. How easy it is to fall into the old banter and trash talk when suddenly hearing from an old Lander friend—like no time has passed at all. But this call was different. Jason told me about Pete. I shared with him the news about Bobby—he had not heard. Pete. How could this happen to someone like Pete, I kept thinking. It’s a cliché to ask why. But why? Why Pete?
And Molly, my whole being bleeds for her.
It's easy to get caught up in the shoulda, woulda, coulda of it all, and after I hung up the phone with Jason, that’s exactly what I did. I should have made an effort to stop by Pete and Molly's house last time I was in Lander—I had meant to—but I wanted to make it home to Merna before dark. I would have told Pete about the support I felt from him as a young instructor back in the early nineties—about how much an encouraging word in Sinks or a smile in the RMB meant to me—if I'd only known he wouldn't be with us forever. I could have made the effort to write a note to Pete and Molly about how I looked up to their relationship as my own marriage was just beginning....
It’s warm here tonight and quiet as I write this and think about Pete and Molly. There is barely a breeze, but I can still smell the faint smell of the Pacific. I think I’m coming to realize that the most important thing to do right now is to reach out to those I love. I’d like to do that in the spirit of Pete's great generousness of self. His largeness of heart. His humility. And with that in mind, I think it’s wholly appropriate to want to hear Jason tell me all about Allison and Casey and Abe (and the new mutt). At any rate, we made plans to get together very soon…to just be together. Thank you, Pete.
It's pretentious of me to say that is what Pete would have wanted—for people to find in this tragedy a renewed love of life and a desire to reach out and care for one another, but (perhaps selfishly) that's the way I'm going to try to live my life tonight and tomorrow and hopefully every day thereafter. I'm going to call some old friends, tell people what they mean to me, and hug my wife.
Goodnight, Pete.
I hope you feel how much love there is for you, Molly; you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hold Avery tight.
"Life is short, and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who walk the way with us. So be swift to love and make haste to be kind, and peace will be always with you."
Goodnight
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Neil McCarthy
climber
Seattle
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:41am PT
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Molly
I can only imagine your sadness. Reading this thread brings back so many wonderful memories of times I spent with him. Pete has been an incredible influence on me and will continue to be even though he is gone. Time does not lessen the impact of a soul like Pete's. I am sad I wont get the opportunity to tell him how grateful I am.
Neil
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solar
Mountain climber
Victor ID.
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Aug 14, 2007 - 03:17am PT
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Pete – you are a mentor for many of us. You are a mentor for me in so many ways. You were the “course leader” and I was the new instructor. You were a friend. You weren’t chatty, but you were present (unless there was a game on!) You were thoughtful and preferred to be funny. You liked to tease but you were not mean. You are one of the best climbers I knew – it rounded your life, never defined it. Climbing was always a pleasure to be had, never a vice or an escape. You were happy to push yourself and loved to push your partner to their best in kind of a competitive way, but really just friendly encouragement. You loved your family. You supported them and encouraged them, which made you three seem like a awesome team.
Pete, your tragic departure is incongruous. You were climbing, but it was not really a climbing accident. In the climbing world you knew your limits and boldly but carefully acted. I can only imagine your analysis of the account. Eyebrows raised, tight, kinda frowning mouth, and I am guessing not much to say, but a clear message would be had: live life well and love your friends.
You continue to teach. You always pushed your partners to be their best - again you push us forward, to try and learn and not to despair.
Miss you Pete. Love you Molly and Avery.
Andy
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klenard
climber
Missoula, MT
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Aug 14, 2007 - 04:58am PT
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A world without Pete is a poorer one for us all. Today, I cried tears I never knew I had. Tears for the loss of a fine, fine, father, husband and dear friend. I don't think I can say any more that Molly hasn't already captured in her tribute to Todd. I will miss you, Pete, and try every day to live a little of my life in your memory.
Keith Lenard
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Aug 14, 2007 - 08:27am PT
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My sincere condolences to the family and friends. May he rest in peace.
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Gary.Wilmot
climber
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Aug 14, 2007 - 09:29am PT
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It is wonderful to see all these stories and messages carrying similar themes and descriptions of Pete: his grin, his compassion, his joy in being outside and his deep love for and committment to Molly and Avery.
I will always remember him as someone who got things done, whether he was cooking a fabulous dinner or getting draws up on a climb. He could really focus on the moment. While on a climbing trip in the Caribbean, Pete was the only one of our group to see the endangered Cayman Brac Parrot, because he was the only one to get up daily at 5 am, jog 2+ miles with his binos and wander through the bird reserve - which he did about 9 days in a row. He came back crowing in triumph while we were all sitting around the breakfast table, nursing our coffee, so excited about his glimpse of this colorful bird.
My glimpses of Pete over the past three years have been of adventures of a different kind - seeing him biking a local Lander loop at high speeds by himself, or pedaling along with Avery on a shorter loop, or skate skiing with Molly. One day I was out walking at "the bus", near town and came across two sets of footprints: Pete's and Avery's, meandering along the paths. I could see them ahead on the ridge, and as I got closer I could overhear them talking about flowers.
Pete managed to blend so many things with such apparant ease, including high intensity work, serious outdoor pursuits and a rich and busy family life with Molly and Avery. They were such a tight, little family unit. My heart aches for Avery, who has lost such a great Dad and buddy, and for Molly, who has lost her best friend and life partner.
To Pete's family I send my sympathy and thoughts - you raised a wonderful son who became a person who had a big impact on our lives. To Molly's family I send the same- I know Pete will be sorely missed.
Molly and Avery - I love you.
Aileen
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horst
Trad climber
Lancaster, PA
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:20am PT
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So tragic. My thoughts and prayers go out to Pete's family.
Pete was also active in the early days at the New River Gorge...he put up several FAs...I believe "Welcome to Beauty" (mountain) is Pete's route...a NRG classic.
Eric
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Natalie K
Mountain climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:30am PT
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Molly and Avery,
I am so saddened by the news of the loss of Pete. I am away from Lander for the week but will be returning this weekend. It is hard for me to express anything to you through my computer, but please know that I will be there to support you this weekend and all the other weeks and weekends to come. I have really enjoyed training with you Molly this summer and chasing you last weekend in our training triathlon. And this past year I have truly enjoyed becoming better friends with you. Please count on me to take Avery at a moments notice when you need it. I so much enjoy her spark and her desire to learn and teach her friends all that she has learned from you and Pete.
Toby and I love you very much.
Natalie and Toby
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High Mnt
Trad climber
Potomac, MD
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:41am PT
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I just got an e-mail from Greg Collins about Pete's untimely passing. I remember Pete from his days as a climbing guide at Seneca Rocks in WV. What a gifted climber. Some of his routes at Seneca are still unrepeated. I know I wouldn't want to do them, too scary! One of the best climbers I every had the pleasure of knowing. It truely makes me sad when I see such a talented climber pass so early, but he was doing what he so obviously loved. My prayers go out to his wife and child. Rest in peace.
Jack Beatty, Potomac, MD
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bigskyry
Mountain climber
Bozeman
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:42am PT
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Oh man -
Molly, Avery,
We are aching for you guys. Hang on to hope for a bright future and know that Pete has left an awesome legacy.
Ryan Jordan
Bozeman
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gee double
climber
victor idaho
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:53am PT
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Molly and Avery...We are thinking about you two...and Petee...
We look forward to seeing you two and everyone this weekend...
Me and Sue are very sorry for your loss.
It was unbeliviable to grow up climbing with Pete...That Charlie Bronson look alike, high praise in the late 70's, free soloing the Nose at Carderock. Making the scary, knob high step look so casual...he kept us kids in line and focused on climbing... Free solos of PHD, The Sloth, The Dream, Merve's Nerve...together....
Sidewinder and Crack of Dawn at Seneca...all the obscure Potomac crags...
Then through Great fortune we were here, with you three in the western mountains and canyons...and your gym...He still kept us in line and focused...We even got to free climb Half Dome, listening to the World Series under the stars and the base jumpers...benighted on thank god ledge by the late October day...I was looking forward to much more life with Pete. I will try harder to keep myself in line, thanks Pete!
Peter Absolon, a hero, a friend and partner to me and many others... I miss him...g
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Quincy
climber
Casco, Maine
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:56am PT
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Sadness spreads from Wyoming to Maine, and much farther as we try to grasp the world without Pete. Life doesn't seem quite right. Molly, you and Pete were an inspiration to me in my life and in my relationship with Mark. It's been many years since our paths have crossed, but we always want to hear how are the Absolons and we loved your annual letters. Avery glows as a beautiful reflection of yours and Pete's love. We feel so fortunate to have worked, partied and lived life having known Pete - he was a genuine great guy. Molly we are thinking of you and wish we could be closer to help. It is in Pete's memory that we will work to stay positive, face challenges and love the one's around us.
Quincy & Mark Van Winkle
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katekoons
Trad climber
Victor, ID
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Aug 14, 2007 - 11:29am PT
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Pete has been a constant presence for me in my years at NOLS whether it was at the RMB or in staffing. As everyone has mentioned here, he was an amazing supervisor - so supportive, so positive, so full of the right thing to say and a person I have always looked up to. I had the chance to babysit for Avery one summer and meet Molly. Instantly, I thought to myself, someday if I ever have kids I want to have a cute family just like these guys. Avery and I walked through the park and she pointed out all of the names of the flowers (at 4 y/o!). Needless to say, I was impressed with this young sparkplug and even more impressed by her parents. Molly and Avery, I do not know you all very well, yet I feel so much sadness in my heart for you right now. I also feel happiness and hope that you are and will be well taken care of by the amazing community in which we live. Kevin and I will be there on Sunday to show our love and support for you.
Steve, I can't imagine what it is that you must feel right now. It was just last week that we were laughing around the dinner table. Hang in there, my friend. We love you and look forward to seeing you this weekend. Love Kate and Kevin
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lida
climber
boston
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:16pm PT
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Dear Molly,
Pete was so vivid to me from years of stories that had the quality of legends. I remember the aura of wonder that spread to Cambridge around his climb in the Himalayas. And what a vital, centered, loving partner he was for you and what an adoring father of dear Avery. I am so very sad for your loss, and so grateful for the memory of his extraordinarily beamy face and all the fun and happier woo woo times in Vermont last August.
with tears and sorrow and love,
Lida
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Terry Y
Social climber
montpelier
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:29pm PT
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Hi, I am Pete’s brother-in-law – married to Molly’s sister Ann. Many, many thanks to all who have posted such kind words to this forum and for keeping Molly and Avery in your thoughts and Prayers.
I didn’t know Pete as well as many of you, but nonetheless, his many attributes were not lost on me; kindness, steadiness, diplomacy, patience, clarity, a passion for nature and his part in it and of course a mischievous humor. My deepest and most lasting memory of Pete comes from our first meeting at a family wedding in Washington D.C. It was the end of the night and many were sitting around the dance floor watching the kids dance. I looked over to one little nook near the dance floor and there was Pete with Avery in his lap snuggled in close. I watched intently for many minutes as they were enveloped in a perfect stillness, a unity of heart – a sanctuary. I am certain all parents know of what I speak – I was not yet a father – but I could feel the peace and the unconditional love enveloping them. I am now a father of a 3 year old son and I know that peace and I have often remembered Pete in that moment, even before this unfathomable loss. For me, that was the core of Pete, a core and a unity into all his incredible skills and attributes.
This forum, the upcoming service and the hearts and minds of all who love Pete are not unlike that sanctuary – where we can hold him in that perfect stillness, that unity of heart to carry the gift of his life into our lives – there to stay alive…
Much love,
Terry
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DaveBragg
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:46pm PT
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Like many of us I find myself still in shock, disbelief, and unable to digest the loss of such an incredible person, Pete Absolon. Pete was a real “quality” person that I knew the moment I met him that I wanted to keep as a friend and more importantly close in my heart.
I can remember in the not so distant past when I was a seemingly reckless nols instructor going out to work a canyon course in S. Utah. I had the pleasure to work with Pete as my semester course liaison and Steve Herlihy, along with Paul K.. The time spent was incredible, it was the start of my friendship with Pete and cemented the bond I share with Steve. The support I got from Pete was amazing and inspiring. At the end of the course Pete took me aside and praised me for a job well done. His words meant more to me than he could know. I walked away feeling a little taller that day. That experience… that moment, I will always cherish, thanks Pete.
I will always remember and value the times spent with Pete in the canyon. Those times were always spent with a combination of childish banter, catching up with one another, talking about my life troubles, or just plain conversation. Pete always had words of encouragement and passion for the success of those around him.
I will also remember the life coaching Pete would give me walking up to Sinks or when I would stop in to see him at work. He was one to give me advice or his opinion no matter if I asked or not, just because he cared. I always listened and took his words to heart. I will continue to hear to those words, learn from them and grow. Becoming the better person Pete inspired me. Thanks, Pete.
Molly, and Avery I am sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you. If there is anything I can do, please never hesitate to ask. Pete was a great, loving, incredible person that has touched many people in beautiful ways.
Steve, buddy, my friend,….hang in there. My heart is with you and if there is anything, anything, I can do, please you know it would be my pleasure. If you need someone to listen, I have two ears.
With a heavy heart
Sincerely,
Dave Bragg
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Ed Schmults
Mountain climber
New York
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:57pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
Such awful news. I am so very sorry for the loss of so cherished a man, husband and father. You both should know that all of us are ready to help you - whatever you may need - now and in the future.
Love, Ed Schmults
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skm
Sport climber
Cody, WY
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Aug 14, 2007 - 12:58pm PT
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Dear Molly,
Ever since Sunday afternoon when Missy called me with the news about Pete I have been struggling to find the right words to say to you. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for Pete and how much I have been thinking of you and Avery.
I was talking to Bobby's mother yesterday and I told her what had happened and she said, "oh dear, just like what happened to Bobby." The irony of the situation had not struck me until then - within a matter of weeks two friends caught in the wrong place at the wrong time both hit by a random rock thrown by a stranger,
In thinking of time that I spent with Pete over the years I remember the ski trips on Togwotee, the climbing days up at Sinks, our trip to West Yellowstone. But what really stands out for me are the times spent working construction together. All those days building the garage and climbing gym – I was so impressed by Pete's ability to think big. Remember the day we hung the trusses with your neighbor's front end loader? I vividly recall the spring of 1995 when Lander had that crazy windstorm and we all lost our roofs. Pete organized a workday where friends showed up and helped you guys re-roof your house. I thought it would be fun to help and also a good skill to learn so I came ready to work with no expectation of payback. Well, Pete fully expected to not only provide the food and beer and to thank everyone for their efforts but he planned to help us all with our own house projects in the future. Just a few months later Pete was at my house teaching me how to tape and mud drywall. After showing me how it worked he lent me all the perfect tools. Fast forward five years and I was re-roofing my own little house and Pete insisted on showing up to put in a day of work and he even lent me a scaffold that he had built – again, the perfect tool for the job. Pete taught me how to use a compound miter saw and his new table saw – never thinking I might not be able to handle it, just pointing out the safety features and letting me go.
Pete was a great believer in people always expecting the best. He was a great believer in you – in reference to climbing I remember being at Devil's Tower and you were nervous about leading a certain climb – I can't remember which one - when Pete asked you, "is the danger real or perceived?" You were quick to identify it as perceived and then went on your way to lead the climb. I was so impressed but Pete just smiled, he knew you could do it. I believe in you too Molly. This is such a difficult time for all of us and especially for you and I'm here for you as are so many good friends. Please reach out to us all for help as you discover you need it.
Love,
Sharon
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Mingusmanymules
Trad climber
Grand Junction, CO
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Aug 14, 2007 - 01:30pm PT
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The matrix of human connections brings me to my knees again this morning. I've been gone from Lander for many years, but at one time I lived in Pete and Molly's house off North Second street while they were in Alaska. It was a summer where you absorb something subtle from sitting on their couches and working in their kitchen. I sat on their back deck at sunset and wondered how many mosquito bites everyone is taking in the Talketna's.
Later, when I needed to borrow power tools for some project and work in the driveway, Pete always said, "Whatever you need buddy." He came over to my house and did all the drywall work that I was terrible at, all the while talking about living in Berkeley while Molly was getting her degree in journalism...there were stories about Seneca Rocks...I was amazed that he would come over and plaster and sand drywall for nothing -- and tell great stories that made me feel like I was part of his life.
He even took me on a scouting trip with Greg Collins to the House Range in Utah, where we beat up the NOLS crew cab getting to the crags. He immediately jumped out in the evening hours and wanted to get on this hellish 5.11. The thing I always find most hilarious about Pete was that as the climbing got harder, his subsconcious would open up, and he would mutter from a deep well of ideas that made no sense to someone outside his head, but it seemed to focus him. The more he linked into "Gabriel Garcia's " magical realism", or Kerouac's "On the Road" the better he climbed!! I knew then that I was with someone really special.
After that he soloed the North Face of the Grand, reluctantly telling me in my office -- and I had to drag him into John Kanengieter's office to tell the story so someone else could share in his accomplishment. The point of this, is that he was too modest to proclaim something so significant. From everything I have read here, you have all experienced the endless giving Pete.
I hope to come around in the next life to be as good a person as Pete was.
Love to you Molly and Avery. I'm so sorry not to make it this weekend...but I am there in full spirit...Eric M
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Molly Doran
climber
Bow, WA
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Aug 14, 2007 - 01:39pm PT
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Molly, Avery and all of Pete's extended family
Pete was so loved. I echo what so many have said - no, not Pete - no. Pete was a mini solar system of positive energy, love, kindness, adventure, laughter, and friendship - how could someone so good be gone? I was thinking today that he didn't have one foe - he seemed to be able to find something good about everyone and every situtaion. And he was so grounded and sensible. More than once he brought me back to reality with a wry comment or joke or a "Do you think..?" Pete was an inspiration to me in so many ways. He always reminded me that life was for living.
I have so many wonderful memories of Pete and you three as a family. The serenity and grace and love was always all encompassing.
I love you Molly and am so so sad for you and for Avery and for your family. Andy and I will see you this weekend. We both feel such a strong need to say goodbye to Pete with so many who loved him and to see you and Avery.
Love Molly
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Tuggs
Social climber
Garland, TX
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:08pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
Take heart and be strong, for i know thats what Pete would want of you right now.He touched my life in a very personal way during my time at NOLS just as he touched so many others. Our hearts reach out to you during this sad time.
Tuggs & family.
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Jason Dittmer
climber
CA
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:13pm PT
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I had just moved to Lander and was living in the Noble. I had taken a job at the school and fancied myself a climber. My first week there Molly and Pete invite me to go climbing in Sinks after work. We go to “warm up” on this climb. Pete puts up the draws, Molly pulls the rope and fires it and I go next. We spent the rest of the day there, me flailing and barely getting past the second bolt. Molly and Pete never complained, never looked at their watches. They empowered me and cheered me on till the sun went down and we had to go home.
Later in the month Pete approached me and asked me if I wanted to put in 300 bucks to be a part of his climbing gym. “where is it?” I asked “my Garage” he replied. Now let me get this straight, You want me to pay you 300 bucks to help you build a gym in your garage? Needless to say I accepted on the spot, not because I was wild about the idea or had lots of disposable cash, but because I wanted to be near Pete and Molly.
I used the gym once and would often tease Pete about my “membership” there. But to date it has been the most rewarding 300 bucks I have ever spent.
Pete became a dear friend and role model. Through his actions he showed me those attributes a good person possesses. Kindness, compassion, humor, selflessness and dedication to ones family and to ones core beliefs and passions. I continue to aspire to be the kind of husband, father and friend that Pete was.
Molly,I cannot begin to fathom the sadness that you and Avery must feel. I can only pledge mine and my families unconditional support and friendship. We are here if you need us; today, tomorrow or in the months and years ahead.
Our prayers, support and love are with you always.
Jason Dittmer
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:16pm PT
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This is Shaun Kelley. Don't climb much anymore, I'm now a bass player for an artist named Jalan Crossland when I'm not flying a desk.
I worked for NOLS in the early 90s and Pete and Molly were/are both friends that I hadn't seen in years. My not-too-trustworthy memory does seem to recall going caving with Pete in Jewel Cave as the only field experience I had with him. Don't ask me what he was doing in a *cave*, man. Maybe he was proctoring a semester, and it was their caving section. He, of course adapted beautifully, and was a very stylish caver in a very "climby" speleo environment.
The kicker for me is that Absolon family attended a show we gave in Lander in late July--at which I met Avery for the 1st time--I had hardly seen Pete or Molly in a decade. I am so grateful that I got to see Pete again.
I am just sucker-punch-blindsided by this. I am a dad of a little guy that is about Avery's age. What to say? What to do? The only answer I can imagine is to just be here for Molly and Avery.
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VLOXY
Social climber
Dallas, TX
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:21pm PT
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Unfortunately I came to the knowledge of this horrific and tragic story from the thrower's side. I don't know the thrower, but I am six degrees separated from them so to speak and connected to you via the Internet. I don't quite understand it myself, but I felt compelled to speak about it.
After hearing this story through a network of friends and family, I needed to gather more information. And what I have learned is unimaginably tragic and deep heartfelt emotion.
Pete Absolon is an amazing individual for he was able to touch and improve upon many lives that he never encountered. That is the true nature of a person who is well respected and loved by not only his family and friends, but from strangers as well.
I can only offer my deepest condolences to the family and friends that he leaves behind.
And since I am somewhat removed, and an observer of these tragic events, I can say that the families of both sides are feeling the anguish of confusion and pain. I can only think of how the slightest of actions can affect so many. Pete apparently understood that for he helped to change the lives of numerous people through his simple and positive actions.
May peace be upon the family of Pete Absolon.
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:31pm PT
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Ah, I forgot to mention my wife and Molly's friend and co-writer Chavawn. Chavawn was who tearfully broke the news to me about Pete. I think we will try to see you on Sunday.
Shaun Kelley
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Terri Watson
Mountain climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Topic Author's Reply - Aug 14, 2007 - 02:35pm PT
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Molly and Avery
It was all I could do to get this thread started and couldn't write much at the time ---- and not know anyway to say the millions of things on my mind --- I remember so many things about each of you, and of you as a couple.
I hope, over the coming months, to smile and tell you these things in person, and I will be over there Thursday on.....
Hugs, love, and a commitment to be around over the long haul.
Terri
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Trina
climber
Nederland, Colorado
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Aug 14, 2007 - 02:56pm PT
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Dear Molly, I am so very, very stunned by this terrible news. I will be thinking of you and Avery not just this weekend as you mourn and celebrate Pete's vibrant life and deep love for you both, but in the weeks, months and years to come as you carry forward in your own strong and thoughtful way. Trina Peterson
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Sally Watt
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 14, 2007 - 03:07pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I didn't really know Pete and after having read all this wonderful storiew I wish I had had a chance to know him better. I have always liked and admired you and I am truly sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy.
Sally Watt
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COT
climber
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Aug 14, 2007 - 03:18pm PT
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Pete on Sister Ray in Sinks Canyon this winter
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COT
climber
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Aug 14, 2007 - 03:33pm PT
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Molly and Avery I am so sorry for your loss. I still have not come grips with the reality of Pete’s passing and am not sure if I ever will. Not only was Pete a wonderful, caring husband and father but a solid, stand up friend as well.
Beside his unwavering commitment to his family, Pete’s next love was climbing. As a climber of 30 years he left his mark on hard free, aid and ice routes in the Rocky Mountains, East Coast, Yosemite, Indian Creek, France, Nepal and Pakistan to name a few. Even at 47 he was still sending 5.13 sport routes in his beloved Sinks Canyon and was inspiration for the rest of us quadragenarians
I feel privileged to have shared a rope with Pete. He and I spent many days clipping bolts near Lander and climbing routes in the Wind Rivers. Just last month we put up a new route on War Bonnet in the Cirque of the Towers and as usual Pete on-sighted the licheny 5.11c crux.
One of my fondest memories of Pete is climbing Mt Hooker in the Winds. Pete somehow convinced me to try and climb the Original Route (free variation) in a day. The 15 mile approach to the route, encumbered with a big free climbing rack and food and supplies for several days, had my back in spasms by the time we set up our tent at the base of the wall. The next day it rained and while I recovered, Pete spent the entire day gleefully fly fishing in the nearby ponds and streams. The following day we swapped leads up the route and were able to top out just as it was getting dark. But earlier in the day,1000 feet of the deck, a short lived storm pounded us with high winds and hail. Trying to be a fast and light alpinist my rain gear consistent of a large plastic garbage bag. When Pete would tell the story he would say, “Ya Dave’s Hefty raingear was definitely lighter than my Gore-tex jacket, but hey I’ve got a family and we both know who was more comfortable.” Practical Pete!
As a consistent luker for the last two years on supertopo.com I have all too often read through posts written about members of our climbing collective that have passed on. In the last few years some of the pillars of the Lander climbing community have been taken from us or have been badly injured including Jim Ratz, Todd Skinner, Bobby Model and now Pete.
Most of you reading this post, whether you knew Pete or not, probably feel a sense of helplessness and the desire to do something. We can’t help it, by our chosen addiction (climbing) we are caring, creative people. But what can we do?
Pete really enjoyed meeting visiting climbers giving beta and finding common friends. He also remarked on numerous occasions that the people who we climb with are just as important to the overall experience as the climbing itself.
Right now our little climbing community has taken quite a hit and we need you climbers - your fresh energy and enthusiasm (I am in no way connected with the Chamber of Commerce or anything like that). So if you have been thinking about where to road trip during the end of the summer or this the fall, take trip into the Winds, or pull down on some of the fine sports routes in the Lander area. I know Molly, Avery and the rest of us would like you to experience the place Pete loved.
Dave Anderson
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Susan Meeker
climber
Lander, Wy
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Aug 14, 2007 - 03:38pm PT
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Molly, Avery and all of Pete's family,
Words cannot possible convey my sympathy for you during this most difficult time. I heard about it Sunday when we got back, and have been trying to come up with something meaningful to say to you, but feel so helpless. Pete was such a tremendous father and loving husband. I remember how lovely it was to see you all at the MAW just recently for Jalan's show and how happy your family was that night. I am sure there are so many memories for you that will bring a smile to your face over the years, and I just hope that you can always be grateful for the happiness that he brought and will continue to bring you. I pray for you to find the strength you need to get through this very sad time. I know that Pete will always be with you in spirit and he will be so proud of how you are handling everything.
I will be there on Sunday, and look forward to giving you a big hug.
My deepest sympathy,
Susan Meeker
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Sallie
Social climber
Charleston, West Virginia
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Aug 14, 2007 - 03:39pm PT
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I'm a childhood friend of Molly's who was one of the many lucky people who attended Pete & Molly's wedding on one of the most beautiful mountains in West Virginia on a beautiful, sunny day! The bride was radiant and lovely, the groom was the luckiest guy in the world and was smart enough to know it. It was a joyous & memorable event and I'm so glad I was there on a happy day of smiling, smiling, smiling! The photos of Molly & Pete sent with Christmas letters were full of smiling too!
Your loss fill me with sadness for you Molly and for Avery and for the Armbrecht and Absolon families and the NOLS family too.
Please know that you are in my prayers and that your friends in West Virginia love you, care about you and share in your grief.
Love, Sallie
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Jere Lester
climber
Salida
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Aug 14, 2007 - 04:03pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
I am so sorry -- sending you great love
Jere Lester
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Aug 14, 2007 - 04:11pm PT
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Just occurred to me that we should all remember to keep Steve Hirlihy in our thoughts and prayers as well.
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whitney
climber
jackson, wy
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Aug 14, 2007 - 04:45pm PT
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Molly,
My heart is in pieces for you. I am shocked at how cruel life's twists can be. I so admire your spirit and the sense of love I see enveloping your family. I hope we can go for a hike soon and talk about any and all.
Love from your friend
whitney royster
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kberg
climber
Lander WY
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Aug 14, 2007 - 05:24pm PT
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I’m sitting here at work staring across the room at Pete’s empty office. The lights are off and the door is shut. An old picture of Pete is taped to the outside of the door. In the picture, he has that same big grin, and look of adventure in his eyes, that we’ve all come to know and love. It’s hard to come to the realization that such a wonderful, caring person is gone from our lives.
Molly and Avery, our deepest condolences to you. Rachael and I have thought of you often in the last few days. Know that we are here to help in any way we can.
I’ve known Pete on many levels over the years- a boss, a friend, a climbing partner, and a mentor at work. He excelled at all these things.
I’ll share one of my favorite stories about Pete. A few winters ago, we went to go do a climb in the Winds. The hike in was a few miles. The entire time, Pete was racing down the trail, rambling on about whatever it was that he was excited about (he was always excited about something). Meanwhile, I was half-running behind him, trying to keep up, and gasping for air. I was attempting to be a part of the conversation without letting Pete know that I was nowhere close to being in as good of shape as he was. When we got to the base of the climb, the ice curtain on the first pitch was about five feet short of touching. I banished all fear with two words, “Your lead.” Pete’s response- “Sweet.” A few pull-ups and delicate placements later and Pete had floated through the whole thing and was at the belay. After that, I experienced something that many people who have climbed with Pete have experienced- being scared out of my pants, following something that he had just lead with grace and confidence. He had an amazing ability to make incredibly difficult things look easy. We had a wonderful time in the mountains that day, just like so many other people have shared with Pete.
Pete, you will be missed greatly.
Kevin Bergstrom
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Whit
Social climber
Jackson
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Aug 14, 2007 - 06:14pm PT
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Molly and Avery I’m so sorry about this tragic loss. I’ve been thinking about Pete since I heard of the accident. I had many interactions with Pete, and they were all Inspiring. He helped coach me up a wicked nasty overhanging climb in Sinks, I don’t even remember the name of. It took me 30 minutes to hang dawg my way up. I was sore for a week. He was encouraging me, chatting and smiling the whole time. He was also instrumental in supporting and mentoring me on the TV Show Course. He knew exactly what to say and how to support and help me process. I haven’t thought of this for years but, I remember him dancing with Avery at Andy and Jackie’s Wedding in Dubois years ago. He was such a goofy dancer, I thought, but that was OK because he was so Cool! My prayers go out to everyone who knew Pete. Whit
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Jeff & Beth Leafgreen
Sport climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 14, 2007 - 06:19pm PT
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I didn't really know Pete very well, but he was very well admired here in Lander. Shaun Kelley mentioned that the last time he saw Pete was at the Jalan Crossland concert a couple weeks ago. My mother-in-law, Billie Leafgreen, and I met up with several of our friends at the concert. Sure, the music was great, but my favorite part of the night was when Pete got up in front of everyone and danced the night away with his beautiful girls-Molly & Avery. It touched me so much that he would dance like he did - not caring that everyone was watching just them. I leaned over to Billie and said "I hope Jeff (my husband) will dance like that someday with our little girl" We don't have children right now, but Pete definately made an impression on me that night. I hope that Jeff can be a wonderful daddy to our kids like he was to Avery. Molly and Avery-our thoughts and prayers go out to you....
-Beth Leafgreen
Lander, Wyoming
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Ords
Mountain climber
Bridgton, ME
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Aug 14, 2007 - 07:01pm PT
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Dear Molly,
As I sit here in the office looking out over the waters of Moose Pond I find my words to you to be horribly inadequate. All our lives I’ve been so happy that our paths have crossed at different times: summer camp at Wyo, working at NOLS, daughters born at the same time and yet now you are in a place that I would do anything to take you away from. Did you know it was Candlelight Night last night and Award’s Night here with the Bats surviving untouched yet another summer? How can time continue to move forward when it seems like it should stop to honor you and Pete and the wonderful, all too short, time you had together.
Pete was always so kind to me during my time in Lander. He would never think of teasing me about setting up routes for me (climbs that I would struggle on) in his approach sneakers. That’s a gentleman. Stefan remembers hearty laughs with him over seemingly mundane topics, such as permitting and group size limits. What a glint Pete had in his eyes when he laughed.
Yet our paths have not crossed in many years and so I wonder: does Avery have that same glint in her eyes when she’s being sneaky? What other characteristics of Pete’s will you be able to say to her with a smile time after time, “You remind me of your father.”
To all of the Armbrechts - please know that the extended Winona & Wyonegonic Families are thinking of you.
Laura Ordway
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Jenny Wilde
Big Wall climber
laurel, MD
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Aug 14, 2007 - 07:10pm PT
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My family grew up with Peter. He was a wonderful person and I always had faith and trust in his climbing ability. Even though I am afraid of heights with Peter holding the rope I was able to do Carter Rocks. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family. He was truly loved.
Jenny Schmid
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gee double
climber
victor idaho
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Aug 14, 2007 - 07:30pm PT
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Oh, wow, I'm still so shocked. . .this is a hard one to come to grips with. My heart goes out to you, Molly and Avery. Molly and Pete have been such an inspiration for Greg and me--the same age and continuing to get after it on the cliffs, ski hills, and in the mountains. And as a long time couple. I have so many memories of times with Pete, from the times we skied on Togwotee Pass (even one time when Pete fell at the top of Angle east and triggered this avalanche--that got him riled up) to the time he came by our house, so excited with the news of Avery's birth.
I hope to help you Molly with whatever you need.
Your friend, Sue
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landerhunter
Social climber
Ruston, LA
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Aug 14, 2007 - 08:59pm PT
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Pete was my liason on my semester in the rockies in the spring of 2001. He and Molly had just had Avery and almost every day that we climbed in Sinks, the whole Absolon gang was there. I remember playing with Avery while Pete and Molly climbed. I will never forget the time i Spent with that great family and i will be praying for you molly and avery. If anyone knows of any memorial fund or anything that will be established for Pete, Molly and Avery please e-mail me @ hunteroutwest@yahoo.com. Having a young (10 month) son (Lander) myself, i can't imagine what this like for the absolon gang, but i know if there is a community that can lift that family up and help them through this, it is the NOLS/Lander community, Thank you Pete for all you did for me, my semester, my life, all you have done for NOLS and your family.....I hope one day i can be looked at by someone like i looked at you. So glad i got to see you after the 4th this year. Great guy...all i can say.
.....mountains looked like, i climbed up to the sun, and from the peak i got such a view....
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Aug 14, 2007 - 09:39pm PT
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I keep coming back here...
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories of Pete and Molly and Avery. When I got the news, I knew that there was going to be a huge hole in our family, but it's incredible to see how many other people Pete touched in his 47 years.
Thank you Steve, for being there with Pete.
Thank you also to the person who posted the picture of Pete climbing.
I continue to be in awe of the way the climbing community is taking care of my sister and niece- you all are amazing and I know you will keep Molly and Avery in your hearts in the coming months. Thank you.
I got this information from the American Alpine Club website-
The memorial service to celebrate Pete's life will be this Sunday, August 19th, at 3pm at CWC/Sinks Canyon Center (SCC) in Lander. The SCC is about five miles southwest of Lander on the road to Sinks Canyon (rt. 131). Look for parking signs. The National Outdoor Leadership School will supply shuttles from parking lots to the SCC.
Please bring a main dish, salad or dessert to share.
Pete’s daughter, Avery, has asked that there be lots of flowers at the service so bring some if you can.
Quotations (one or two sentences) and photographs from friends and family will be posted at the service and put into a book for Molly and Avery. They can be e-mailed to jen_lamb@nols.edu or brought to the celebration.
Cornelia (one of Molly's sisters)
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MSB
Social climber
Jackson, WY
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Aug 14, 2007 - 09:40pm PT
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My condolences to Molly, Avery and Pete's extended family. This extended family includes not only relatives but also the NOLS and greater climbing communities. Too often, we don't recognize someone's influence until they're gone. The outpouring of grief and condolence seen here is but a fraction of the ache and loss felt by each person who knew Pete.
As a couple leading my climbing section at red rock, the Absolons were a model of instruction, patience and good humor. Their teamwork will not be forgotten. The standout from that trip was Pete's smile as recounted the day's climb. Pete had arrived at the belay with a case of the runs. When his students arrived, he instructed one to belay and the other to watch the rope and keep it out of the crack in which he had deposited the goods. As he belayed his students on the pitch above, wetness oozed through the belay device; a certain student had forgotten their job. I'm not sure what ever became of the rope or belay device; however, I do know what became of the students. They were treated with the utmost respect and never made to feel ashamed or embarrassed, even by the other students. This was a direct result of Pete's handling of the incident and illustrates Pete's ability to bring positivity to all those around him. (It's also a pretty funny story about a shitty rope.)the amazing man that we've lost.
Matt Bresler
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Sean Clark
climber
Delta, BC
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Aug 14, 2007 - 09:53pm PT
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Molly,
I was lucky enough to have you and Pete as instructors for the winter section of my semester in the rockies in 1995. I remember really looking up to Pete for his understatedness and his genuine kindness. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Sean Clark
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fishbag
Social climber
jackson, wyoming
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:04pm PT
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Dearest, dearest Molly- Our hearts and thoughts are with you and will continue to be so for the hardest days, weeks, months and years to come. Roger and I can only remember the most wonderful smile in the world and the love that he had for you and for Avery. We will see you soon and will always be there for you.
Margaret, Roger, Creel, and Elsa
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Amy Cilimburg
climber
Missoula, MT
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:31pm PT
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Molly and Avery --
My daughter Wren, almost 6, and I are reading this post. She's trying to stop my tears, get me to go outside. But together we read such beautiful remembrances, and I say to her: We will try in our lives to be generous, to smile, care for others, live life with passion, love... for Pete. He will live in all of us.
Our hearts go out to you. We hope to be there Sunday.
Amy, Rick and Wren
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inhisfootsteps
Sport climber
the heart of WY.
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:34pm PT
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Molly,
I think I met you in Lander when I came to visit my aunt (Amy Skinner), but even if I didn't meet you, my heart goes out to you all. When I heard the news it left me heartbroken. My whole family is here for you and Avery. You all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Condolences to all family and friends.
Becca
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Mark Harvey
climber
Basalt
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Aug 14, 2007 - 10:39pm PT
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I shared a tent with Pete on my instructor course in the Winds. Pete talked a lot about Molly in the evenings after a long day when the sun went down and seemed smitten by her and a little surprised by his luck in winning her hand. We took it upon ourselves to mercilessly rib Pete about marrying so far above his station but he had a tin ear on that subject and just nodded sincerely, agreeing that he had indeed married up.
He graced our course with his skills on the rock (some uncanny touch that made no sense to those of us less gifted), a work ethic born out of his raw enthusiasm for the mountains, and a camaraderie that shone in his eyes. Pete had few airs, an authenticity, and a disarming way that made you feel at ease in his presence.
I’ll miss him. Sending my sympathy and thoughts to Molly, Avery and all the Absolons.
Mark Harvey
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c_agnew
climber
Lander
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Aug 14, 2007 - 11:15pm PT
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This news is stunning. It is still hard to fathom that Pete has left us. It is a loss for the Lander community, the NOLS community, the climbing community, as well as communities much broader than these three.
This is evident in the many people who have shared such kind words on the good hearted, funny, and enthusiastic individual Pete was. I admired Pete for many reasons. As others have articulated, he was a great believer in people – showing you how to do something and then leaving you room to try it out and make mistakes, supporting you all the while. This encouragement might be coaching on a difficult climb in Sinks Canyon or support in applying for a new job. I owe my current job to the encouragement Pete gave me to apply. His passion consistently stands out to me – whether he was giving you beta for skiing up at Togwotee or discussing the difference between “tax home” and “real home” – he had a fire in his eye. I will miss walking past his office and hearing the sneaky “hey buddy” that I could consistently rely on. Although we talked about going climbing, we never did, and I am certainly poorer for it.
He always signed his emails “pa”. While some might say it was his initials, I think it captures what he truly was – a mentor to many and a wonderful father to Avery. Beyond all the communities that Pete’s loss impacts, the most important loss is to Molly and Avery. My heart goes out to you both and we are all here to support you.
Chris
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tumbleweed
climber
lander, wy
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Aug 14, 2007 - 11:17pm PT
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Like many of us, I can't stop thinking about Pete. Images and conversations of/ with him are burned in my memory. Just last week at our weekly Rocky Mountain manager's meeting he was regaling us about his trip to the Winds with Molly and Avery. His voice was full of excitement talking about old NOLS items they found, how strong Avery hiked, and being in the Winds. A few weeks back, he glowed as he shared stories of his recent short yet meaningful time with students and co-instructors in the field. He laughed, as he told us about a student who kept calling NOLS the "NOLS school" and how saying the National Outdoor Leadership School School must mean we do twice the work and make twice the impact.
Pete believed in NOLS. You just knew. Pete was that guy that whenever you mentioned his name, it was instinctually followed by "He's such a good guy." He brought great life to NOLS, an authenticity and an unmistakable love for life. You knew by the way he told stories and from the pictures on his wall, that he was a dedicated husband and father.
The man was a gem. The man could climb. I am sorry my time with Pete was short, and I am very grateful that there was time at all. He has left his mark not only on my life but many, many others. I will treasure the memories of Pete as much as I did the moments.
Molly and Avery, my sincerest condolences for your loss. We are all here to support you in any way that we can.
Warmly,
Lara
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 14, 2007 - 11:34pm PT
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We are getting ready for our trip out to Lander for an event which we are finding is a gift of love from Pete. The gift we are talking about is the gift of friendship, love and respect he built over many years. The people who have touched our lives over the past few days have Pete's fingerprints on them. As we are touched, Pete touches each of us-leaving a "unique fingerprint". We look forward to meeting and talking with each person.
Love to all....
Mary
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Jared
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:07am PT
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Words come hard at a time like this. I just got the news about 1 1/2 hours ago from a complete stranger that I caught a ride with from Bruce's Bridge. Shock, anger, disbelief. These feelings keep going through me.
One of my most recent memories of Pete is when he called me up asking me if I needed a climbing partner. It wasn't the first time we shared a rope, but it was a good time. Always a kind word. Always encouraging. We did a normal warm up routine: lead The Fish, TR the one next to it. And doing them back to back. Then it was on to his Sister Rey. At one point my crappy belaying pulled him off the crux. Not a harsh word to me, simply the truth when I said "oops not enough slack there" and he responded, "yep it was a little tight." Then he heartily gave me a belay on something 14 grades easier, offering encouragement and energy the whole time.
I was excited to hear of his getting the RM Branch Director job and told him so. I remember the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about solo stick clipping up Killer in order to hang a rope so Avery could take the big swing.
My condolences go out Molly, Avery, extended family, and friends.
Pete you will be missed. Thanks for the memories.
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Jennifer Lowe
climber
CO
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:07am PT
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Molly, Bob Vallevona called me this afternoon with the news. I am so very very sorry. I cannot imagine how much your heart must hurt right now.
You know, it was interesting that Bob should be the one to call because you and Pete always reminded me of Bob and Christine. Both of you so full of positive energy that you were always happy to share with others. People always gravitated to you because you shared that energy with everyone, without hesitation. Know that all of those people whose lives you've touched, as individuals and as a family, even peripherally, are sending you love now and wanting to help hold you up in whatever way we can. You are in my thoughts.
Love, Jen (Lowe)
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Dorsey
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:32am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery -
Beyond words, though I keep trying to find the right ones.
Maybe it will help one tiny, little bit to know people all over the world are thinking of you and Avery and Pete.
Love, Dorsey
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:32am PT
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Thank you all for these stories. I keep coming back to this site again and again. I've laughed and cried and cried some more. I'm so scared to think Avery won't remember Pete so please, please keep sending us your stories. You don't know how much this helps me and everyone who is hurting right now from losing someone we loved.
thank you.
molly
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Jeff Petty
climber
Seattle
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:46am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery and extended family -
I am so, so sorry. I had late night and early morning calls Monday from Megan and then Drew in Bozeman and was starting to worry that there might be bad news, and then Mark Johnson came over yesterday and I learned what had happened. What a shock. Later in the day I spoke about it with Dan Dundon, who is also here in Seattle and had heard the news through the NOLS family.
I had spent all of three or four hours with Pete in person, and mostly knew him through friends like Drew and Gary W., Phil, Scott and Michelle, Andy and Molly. Through these folks I held Pete in high esteem for the integrity and joy of life he obviously modeled and transmitted to others. I am reminded of Jim Chisholm comments like "wringing the towel dry" and "sucking the marrow from the bones of life." What a great heart Pete willingly shared. And this forum is testament to what glue he was to the extended family of NOLS and Lander. A great loss and an inspiration to carry forward.
Like Neil I can only imagine the pain of this and hope that you feel held and loved by us all both close and far away.
Jeff
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betsy treadway
climber
WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 01:02am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery and extended family……
I’ve been looking for words for days now. I haven’t found them yet and I’m not sure I will. Both you and Pete have been a huge part of my life at NOLS over the last 10 years and my heart is just so sad right now for all the people Pete has touched and especially for you, Molly and Avery.
Several days ago, I was paddling on a beautiful river in northern Canada with 5 other NOLS women. Allison Bergh, Kathy Brown and I were sitting on a gravel bar talking about Pete—reflecting on what a great supervisor and mentor Pete had been to all 3 of us…and just how meaningful it had been for us to have Pete in our lives as a coworker and more importantly as a friend. I will miss Pete’s presence in my life…. his laugh, smile and goodness.
It is hard to pick just one thing to write about. I’m overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude for having spent the time that I did with Pete. Mentor, supervisor, coworker and friend—he was truly an inspiring man. His heart was bigger and more caring than I realized, his dedication to you and Avery utterly devotional, his passion for everything he did unmatchable and his uncanny ability to bring brightness to everyone he encountered, remarkable.
In the midst of all the memories that I have of Pete, the one consistent piece to them all—besides his smile and ease, was his ability to always make me feel like everything was going to be OK whether it was making a challenging parent phone call or facilitating a tough debrief I had ahead of me or something else personally important to me, I always felt like they were going to work out just fine as long as Pete was around. I will carry this part of Pete’s spirit with me.
Molly, I can’t possibly express to you how sad I am for what you and Avery have lost. There are no adequate words. My heart is weak from crying, sad for the world to lose such an inspiration and grateful for knowing him in the first place. If I can do anything for you or Avery, please don't hesitate to ask.....
I’ll be in Lander soon. With love ...betsy
Dear Steve,
I cannot possible give you any words that make this easier. I would do anything if I could….but there is nothing I can say to lessen the pain or ease the sadness. Though I would give just about anything to be able to do so…..I wish I could give you a hug but know that I am thinking about you and sending you as much good energy as I can muster! See you soon…betsy
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tommi mchugh
climber
colorado
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Aug 15, 2007 - 01:08am PT
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Molly-
I am so heartbroken for you and Avery! I have tried to write so many times but like so many others I couldn't find words that covered how I feel. But, I had to write when I just saw your post. Molly, I promise you that Avery will remember Pete! It is just that simple even though I know that it feels anything but certain to you right now. I could quote research and all that stuff but instead I just want you to believe me on this one until time can prove it to you. Avery will remember Pete because she is old enough. She will remember Pete because you and Pete are her parents and she has been surrounded with love since before she even came into this world and that love and connection will keep Pete and his memory with her forever. She will remember him because you two will forever be sharing the stories of your lives with Pete. And Molly, because of the impact Pete made on so many lives she will know the stories of Pete that came before she was even born as if she was there. She will remember Pete because of your love, the love of your family and friends and the fact that Pete and his love for you two and his love for life are facts that will be talked about, laughed about and cried about as long as we all live because of the deep impact he had on all of our lives. He will be with you forever Molly. Just as clearly as you know that right now know the same is true for Avery because she loves him and misses him for the exact same reasons but in that amazing way that only happens between little girls and their Dads.
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EleanorH
climber
Anchorage AK
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Aug 15, 2007 - 01:28am PT
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Like most of you, everywhere I look I see Pete. And somehow with each of those memories a smile always comes over my face.
It was one of those perfect blue bird powder days on Teton Pass. Pete and I had been chasing Molly all day. In a last ditch effort to keep up with her, he tried to huck himself off the cornice only to crash and burn 10 feet from the top in a bottomless tree well. He looked down at Molly who was somehow already at the bottom waiting for us and then he looked back at me with a huge grin on his face and snow coming at our every orifice only to say “we make a good team.” That was Pete-always passionate abouthis life and his family.
All my love to you Molly, Avery and your families now and into the years ahead.
I am trying to convince my knee surgeon to let me fly to Lander this weekend but if I loose that fight please know that we Alaskans will be celebrating Pete’s life with all of you at 3 pm on Sunday in the shadow of the Alaska Range.
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Hampton
Social climber
Tucson, AZ
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:45am PT
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Like most people who know Pete, I am having a hard time believing that he is gone. Molly and Avery, I am so terribly sorry for you and cannot really express how sad I am.
Also for me,like many others who have already posted here, Pete was a great mentor. He debriefed my first NOLS course and my first CL. We shared a tent on the Instructors Mountaineering seminar in the Winds. After that summer, I went to climb at Devils Tower and Pete made a list of climbs that were the perfect next step for me. The next spring he lent me about three sets of cams and made another list for me for a trip to Indian creek. He always seemed to know what everyone was up to and how to get them to the next level. That was true about climbing, work, ...everything.
I have many fond memories of Pete, eating elk burgers in the winds, splitting a six pack after a debrief of a particularly rough course, watching Avery on the big swing at the killer cave. There is no way that Avery will ever forget him... no one that ever met him could. He was awesome and one of my heroes.
Molly, Avery, Steve, and everyone in Lander, my heart is with you and please let me know if there is anything I can do now or later to help you.
Hampton Uzzelle
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Andy Cline
climber
Bow, WA
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:54am PT
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Molly: I’ve been staring at the screen for I don’t know how long looking at the words and feeling the thoughts of so many who love you and Avery and Pete. All of us looking for an anchor through cyberspace and actually finding each other here, in this space. There are so many amazing people gathering and gathering, in so many different ways, because of our love for the three of you. And you and Pete and Avery are the common bond.
As always, the three of you are bringing people together to share and live life fully and live in moments that matter. You are all that is best about laughing and seizing the day in a life worth living. You are so good at embracing others. Pete was the best at that, wasn’t he? Pete will always and forever be a role model for me of what it means to embody joy. Pure joy. For the love of living, of being around others, of making others shine and look their best and all the while having a great time doing it! I know of only a handful of others who can do the same. And for many years, before I got married, and before I became a dad, I looked to Pete as someone who knew how to do it right. Live the path that’s right for you and love your soul mate passionately. And then, when that little one comes along, love them in every way you know how until your heart breaks. Avery knows her dad intimately, and she will carry that intimacy within and with her for the rest of her life, and you will help her. No matter what happens now or in the future, there will always be a time when it truly was Molly, Pete, and Avery.
I love you and I miss you. I miss our talks about having the same opinionated opinions about certain things. I cherish the way-too- few letters we have written to each other since leaving Lander. I will always laugh at the thought of breaking into a national forest cabin after post-holing in waist deep snow in canyon country, rolling our backpacks in front of us as we plowed along. We will see you soon, and then, after this, we will see you again. You will see and spend joyful time with so many of the people who are writing to you. They will carry Pete forward. You will carry him forward. Avery will carry him always. I truly believe that. And the stories will continue.
With all my love to you, Molly, - Andy
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COT
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 03:58am PT
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This spring I hired the Absolons as “models” for a photo shoot featuring general camping gear. Everything went smoothly until I needed Pete to sit still in a camp chair. Sitting still outside was not one of Pete’s strong points, but he faked it well enough.
Dave
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Mark Roy
climber
Lander
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Aug 15, 2007 - 05:48am PT
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When I was a pretty new Instructor at NOLS and Pete was a new "Fast Tracked" Instructor we worked a fall hiking section of a semeter in the Winds together. In addition to a standard heavy pack Pete also carried a hunting license and a slingshot. On the trail he picked up stones of just the right size and density. Finally the quarry flushed out and the grouse lit on a branch hanging over the trail in front of us. Pete took careful aim and missed. He crept closer and missed again. Soon we were directly under the bird who refused to fly despite our abandonment of any pretense of stealth. When Pete ran out of perfect stones he picked up a larger rock and threw it. To his horror he hit the bird which flew off in a puff of feathers. Pete insisted on searching for the bird because he didn't want to leave a wounded animal. Because of Pete's sense of responsibility we searched much too long and arrived at our camp well after all of the students, unfortunately without a bird to cook.
Another of a surprising number of memories from that course is that Pete left for the field without doing something he had told Molly he would do. I don't remember now what it was. But I remember that every evening he would bemoan how much trouble he was going to be in with Molly and brainstorm ways to get a letter out to her with a re-ration that might appease her. I barely knew Molly then but I was pretty sure that Pete wasn't much worried about her being mad, he just wanted to talk about her.
It has been hard for me to rise above the weight of this loss, but today I watched Avery and her cousin Willow and 6 friends play hard all day. They moved from activity to activity without missing a moment of joy. And did I say they played very hard? Their joy was contagious. Then they all disapeared to the basement and the costume bin. After over an hour of planning they moved into the living room and called me in to watch their play. The show began with my son Gavin's warning that there was a lot of dark humor in the play. The influence of Avery's recent wonderful performances in MacBeth in both the community and the children's theater efforts quickly became apparent. Watching the children act out scenes centered on death was disturbing and perplexing to me. I felt very uncomfortable when they referenced the dead father character. But the chidren were not uncomfortable or hesitant or guarded. Avery stayed in character as a princess who was to be poisoned. Her eyes were clear and full of intent. Her movements with her long red boa were graceful and joyous. She spoke strongly and confidently. She had courage, and she gave me some.
Thank you Molly, for the gift of Avery today. Avery won't forget Pete. You won't let that happen and we will help you. Pete is part of Avery and always will be. She cannot forget what is part of her.
Molly and Avery I love you both! I miss you Pete, but I was glad to see glimpses of you in Avery today.
Mark
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hscureman
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 08:40am PT
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As the days go by and the reality sets in, I start to realize that I didn’t just lose a friend – I lost a mentor, a guide, a supporter, and a hero. I don’t put too many people up there with my own father however Pete was the one person I really wanted my dad to meet. I wanted my dad to meet the person that had finally taught me how to be a good leader, how to truly listen and not judge, how to find humor in stressful situations, how to be more analytical and less emotional, how to be involved however not micromanage. Pete could have chose to close that office door of his however, we could rely on Pete coming out on a daily basis asking, “what’s going on” or “how can I help”. He was right there with us, a part of us – he believed in us and we believed in him.
My years in the staffing office were some of the most stressful years however some of the more blessed. I feel like we were the lucky ones – we got Pete Absolon as a boss!! The best kept secret at NOLS (or maybe not so secret)!!! The one thing that gives me some peace in mind is – I know Pete knew we loved and appreciated him. The day we all got together to spontaneously buy him a rope and present him “ The best Boss in the World” award was a day I know meant a lot to him. Meant a lot to us.
Avery – every day he would come in and tell us cute funny stories about you. He would raise his voice to sound like you whenever he’d reenact funny things you would say – or cute comments you would make. I think part of the reason he worked so well with all the woman in our department was because he was taking notes on how to be a good father to you. He was so proud to be your father.
Molly – I remember telling Pete how impressed I was with you. How incredibly nice you are, how athletic you are. He then proceeded to talk about all the things your involved in and just how talented you really are. You could tell with every story – just how much in love he was with you. He was so proud to be your husband.
Pete will forever be an important person to me and I will take the lessons learned from him and hope to be a better person. Pete you meant the world to me –thanks for all the laughter, goofiness, and lessons in life. You will never be forgotten!!
Love to all!!
Heather
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Kari Grady Grossman
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:09am PT
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My heart aches for my friends Molly and Avery and all of our Lander community. I wish I could be there to hold you, and hold up the people holding you, and chop onions and cook soup, and make it better - somehow.
Late last night I finally got an internet connection, after 4 days of moving and 12 hours of flying. George and I stayed up late reading every post here and cried. I've been crying for days. It is so difficult to be moving away from you instead of toward you. But I know that canceling our 7 book events this week is not what Pete and Molly would want us to do. So we soldier on, and go through the motions, and stay committed to our mission, drawing strength from the Presence that is, was and will always be Pete Absolon and his beautiful, amazing, and talented wife - whom I am lucky to call friend.
I knew Pete mostly as Avery's amazing daddy and Molly's obvious soulmate. We had passing conversations because he was always passing, usually at high speed on a bicycle,or skis, or running by our house. And I must admit, on more than one occasion, I admired Pete's ripped physique and thought "damn that Molly is a lucky girl!" I often marveled at how the two of you pulled it all off, the pursuit of your adventurous passions, physical fitness, your commitment to each other, the kid juggle - all of it done with complete grace and balance. That takes teamwork and you are an amazing team. And you always will be because it lives on forever in Avery. She is an amazing child who really understands things on a very deep level. She will not forget Pete. He is in the fabric of her being.
To help Avery keep those memories vivid long into her adult life and beyond to share her daddy with her own children someday, George and I would like to make a video of stories about him, as told by the people loved him.
We will come to Lander, as soon as we can, in 3-4 weeks when the shock and flurry of activity subsides, and there is time for people to gather their thoughts. I know Molly Hampton already asked and got the thumbs up from Molly A., so I thought I would post it here.
If anyone who doesn't live in Lander would like to send a video clip to be included, contact us at storyteller@wildheaven.com, for the technical requirements and mailing instructions.
It is a small gesture Molly, but we hope it helps to ease your fears. We will record Avery's memories while they are still young and fresh, and she will always have a visual aide to infuse the deep and lasting memories in her heart. We will try to have it ready for her birthday.
The speech the kids memorized for MacBeth keeps playing in my head..."tommorrow...and tomorrow... and tommorrow... "
Pete was so proud that day. He was sitting next to me. He was beaming. We all were. That is how I will always remember him.
All my love to you both.
Kari
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Liz Tuohy
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:13am PT
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I’m a bit of a mess right now trying to figure out what life will look like without Peter Absolon. I miss him.
Pete - I’m a happier and better person for knowing you. Watching you live your life has helped me live a life that represents my values. I’ve watched you build a family. You integrate family, friends and living in a way that multiplies. You’ve helped us build a marriage. You are a stabilizing force in our house, for Gary probably even more than for me. At work I’ve learned from you to take new jobs and not kick myself for being in the learning process for awhile. I remind myself on a regular basis to “Be like Pete”- don’t react, don’t take anything personally, move ahead productively, assume good intentions on all sides. And you’re hilarious. For the life of me I still can’t understand your convoluted explanation for why we can bike despite the “no biking” signs on the forest service ski trails, and I love it, (even though I still think my explanation is better.) It’s been an honor being your friend. I love you. And Pete, it breaks my heart to think of the enormous pain that you would have knowing that you had to leave Molly and Avery.
Molly and Avery - I have heard Pete say so many times at NOLS briefings, “I have a wonderful daughter, so every day is filled with new things. Yesterday Aves …..” We all know the glint in his eyes when he talks about Avery. Twice I asked Pete what the best part of having a kid was, and his reply was the same both times: that it was seeing Molly glow after Avery was born. My heart aches for you. Honestly right now I feel like all the encouraging words I can imagine add up to a bunch of crap. But I also know that we live in a beautiful world, and both of you have a gift of seeing beauty, magic and joy. You are so loved. Pete will never be gone. Whenever I sat with Pete it was clear and understood that you two were part of him. He is part of you forever, and part of us too. I love you both and look forward to our fun adventures to come.
Love,
Liz T.
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skonrad
climber
Laramie, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:16am PT
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Molly, I just heard the news on WPR when I woke up this morning. I haven't seen you and Pete for a decade, but I remember sharing our winter instuctor's course and shredding great powder in the Bighorn Range, where I first got to know and care for you and Pete. And I remember a hilarious day skiing/boarding in horrible crust at Two Oceans Bowl where Mark Bergstrom just about convinced me that boarding indeed could be better than telemarking as we watched you two connect the dots in the impossible-to-telemark breakable crust. In spite of the conditons, you two were undetered, and the day was filled with laughter. I'm so sorry that Pete is gone.
Sarah Konrad
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daryl
climber
NH
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:28am PT
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Dear Molly, Avery, and so many friends from long ago,
I too was stricken when I learned of Pete's death, and have just now read through all these posts. Such sadness and comfort to read the stories, to catch glimpses of the Pete we all love.
Pete had such a fierce and playful love of life. Though we started our NOLS work at the same time, and I was older than him, I always looked up to Pete. I'm seeing here on this list that most of us felt that way about Pete. I'm not surprized.
The one course I worked with Pete and Molly was a caving section at Jewell Cave... Tom Haffnor was the CL. It got so cold everything froze solid... except the mustard. Boy, did we eat mustard as we hopped from foot to foot trying not to shiver too hard. I remember Pete had some long cockamaimie explanation for why the ketchup was a block of red ice, but the mustard didn't freeze... as he happily squirted it onto a piece of bread and chowed down. The rest of us were far less satisfied with the meal, but believed his story. He found that hilarious.
That's the thing about Pete. You just believe in him. And even when he's pulling your leg it's the right thing to do, because it really does help to laugh when it's so cold that even the students that HATE caving can't wait to get undergrond and warm up.
I visited Lander last year after way too long away, and as I sat chatting with folks I got a big slap on the back and one of those "hey Buddy!" greetings, and a strong hug. It was like I'd only been away thirty days and stepped off the bus at RMB.
Avery, your Dad was such a bright light in the world, and he made a huge difference in the lives of so many of us. And your Mom, well she's a bright star in her own right. Nonetheless, one of the biggest compliments I can offer you Molly is that you deserved Pete, just as he deserved you. Others have said it better, but you and Pete were an inspiration to many of us struggling to balance love for someone with love for a life in the mountains. You two showed it could be done.
What a blessing to have known Pete,
Daryl Burtnett
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Charlie Gray
Trad climber
Winter Park, Co
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:31am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
It is with a very heavy heart and after so many tears and crying yesterday that I keep trying to write this post. I have my son, Shane, here with me for a few days and that makes it all the more poignant. The lives and the way that Pete touched those lives will remain forever a testament to his greatness as a human being.
Pete was and will always be one of the great standup and standout people - the kind of person you want your children to hang with, the kind of person you would often be envious of, either yourself, or that you wanted to emulate his lifestyle.
And I haven't had a chance yet to read all the stories herein, but I plan on it. You see, sadly, somehow there is a Divine Hand in all of this. I can't tell you why, or how, or especially explain, like Bertrand Russell might ask: how in the heck could a God do this? I won't begin to take a side in that argument, or maintain even what kind of God it could be, because we are, after all, talking about Pete, and I can almost see his response to this right now, and then we'd both laugh! He might give me one of those looks, or simply say: Come on now, are you kidding?
I think he might add: "He didn't have anything to do with it, that was me!"
You see, I found out about this yesterday (Tuesday) in the Kind coffee shop in Estes Park. Just flipping through the paper. But there's more than that. I turned down two days of climbing - a guided day that I had a chance to do, and then turned down a personal day of climbing. Something just was a little fatigued, a little not right. I needed - strangely enough at my age - a rest day. But oddly enough, I turned down a great chance to do some personal climbing, which I don't have much of a chance to do and seldom turn down, if I have a day to go climbing. Well, okay, possible. It can happen. But the stranger element of it, was that I chose to sit and read the Rocky Mountain News, which frankly, I never read. It was truly as if there was the invisible hand of Pete over me, guiding me mine. And then I started to flip through the pages, just scanning the headlines. I wasn't looking for anything, and I had read a bit of another paper sitting nearby, and was pretty much finished reading. But something guided me on, so I continued to flip through the News until I saw a headline which caught my attention about a climber in Wyoming getting killed. And I still thought nothing about it until I read further.
I had never even for a remote second thought that it could be Pete. I think that was the shock of it, the complete and utter trauma of that discovery left me breathless. It was as if the Hulk had just hit me squarely in the solar plexus. I couldn't breath, I barely got up and almost ran from the coffee shop to the river out behind the coffee shop where I could let the tears first well up in my eyes, so that others would not see my loss. What I wanted to do, of course, was scream. Just scream that agonizing kind of scream when we first hear the news.
The uniqueness of how I learned of Pete's passing, though, will always be with me, and somehow or another, there was Pete's hand in all of this, his guiding hand to bring us all together perhaps. But certainly the diviness of his being, Pete's existence, that is, resonates through it all.
It's been a long time since I had been able to spend much time with Pete. But Molly I will say that I am so very fortunate that I was able to catch up with all of you last year in Lander and get, finally, to meet Avery. The very embodiment of you both.
And as you know, I will never forget those moments with Pete, or that time at Eldorado when we went off and did the Edge together and he was hinting the whole time at how mad you might be. He wasn't really supposed to be climbing that day, was he? But you let him go off anyway. You know, I am going to have to get to the bottom of that story, I just think I was happy to not see the fireworks afterwards...)::
I think I have some others to share as well...Pete was not only a great mentor to so many of us, but he was a great friend. I never saw him upset, well, not in any discernible way, that is. At least not while we were back at GW. You know, I think he did less Physics homework than anyone in the class and still came out with the highest or second highest test grades.
I'd ask him how he did and he would say, yeah, alright. "Well, did you pass?" I'd ask. "Yeah". "Well, what did you get" And this would be after barely studying for the test, and he'd say: "A 75 or 76" "Oh, so a C" "No", Pete would explain, "it was graded on a bell curve, and he threw out the highest score, so I got an A." I would just laugh.
That was Pete's style, everything was just so relaxed and natural for him.
He will always be such a brilliant human being for us all, and I will miss him dearly.
Charlie
p.s. I am planning on coming up to Lander this weekend and did not know if there was anything going on Saturday evening at all. I will, of course, along with Russell Hunter, be there for the Sunday service
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Liz Tuohy
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:42am PT
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Hello all,
For Pete's memorial service, we are gathering photos. THese photos will be used either in a slide show or in the "Memory Room" that Missy White describes in her entry. They will also be compiled into a book for Molly and Avery.
If you have a good picture of Peter that you would like to share, you can post it to this site, and we can download it on this end.
Thanks.
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IFBIker
Trad climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:06pm PT
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How do you post a picture in this forum?
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Jess Rice
climber
PT, WA
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:20pm PT
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Dear Molly, Avery, Steve, and the entire community:
I am very sorry. Sending love to all of you.
Jess Rice
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elemental
Gym climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:38pm PT
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If you've ever climbed at Sinks Canyon on a winter weekend, you know it has a distinctly different feel from other hard crags around the world. There is a very unpretentious and friendly feel, and Pete, Avery, and Molly have been an integral part of it all.
It always made the day better to see the Absolons at the crag. Molly, you three are an inspiration to us. As we look toward having our own family, your ability to live and play fully together make the most wonderful example to follow.
We join with all your friends in offering our support and love in this terrible time, and in all the times to come.
Ellen and Steve Bechtel
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Jim Hutchison
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:42pm PT
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Jen, Bennett, and I share in the sadness and shock expressed here. I'm not sure that my words will adequately express my deep appreciation for knowing and working with Pete, nor my sincere condolences for Molly and Aves.
Easter brunches at Pete and Molly's (watching the kids in our community of friends run around looking for eggs that Pete had hidden), winter gatherings in the garage with the wood stove glowing, smiling and laughing in the rain (and flash flood) on Red Butte, and sharing office work/time/space for so many years. Pete was a good friend, a mentor to me in work and in parenting, and a guide of sorts for how to remain passionate in work and play and family. I never told him this and I regret not doing so.
I recall one summer gathering at Molly and Pete's property on Red Butte outside of Lander. (Pete would share pounds of elk that he had taken in the previous year's hunt and we'd share a potluck meal in the sun and rain.) I fondly recall Pete standing on something (a cooler, a rock, a chair?) and welcoming folks to the meal. He paused, smiled big, began crying and shared with us how much he loved his wife and how grateful he was for his daughter. It was their anniversary and Pete stood in front of his friends and his family crying and grinning. It was in this moment that I came to know Pete - passionate, committed, proud, humble, and unashamed to be filled with such love for Molly and Aves. I miss him, and will always remember him. I am very blessed to have known him and worked with him for a short number of years.
Molly - Bennett, Jen and I are here with arms, food, love and shelter. Know that you may call on us at any moment.
Many blessings,
Jim, Jen, and Bennett
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Dennis Sanders
Trad climber
Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:45pm PT
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Well Im not sure how to say how I feel so I guess Ill just throw it out there. I just wrote about ten lines and erased all of them. Pete kept me so interested in how a man of his abilities can still be such an amazing husband and father. Its seems like everytime I ran into him he was helping someone, takin off to climb and/or just enjoying the company of Molly and Avery. Ah over the last year I got a sort of serious job and he loved to tease me about it..asking me how it felt and how I was adjusting...oh and how proud he was of me. He was so funny with his detailed explainations of how to start the furnace in his gym...and how nice he was when I almost blew it up! Big laughes one night in that gym with Avery and I drawing with crayons on the wall and coming back a year later to see Petes sparkle in his eye when we laughed about how those drawings are getting higher. One of the most memorable days with Pete was when I just got off workin a course and he came over with a big hug to tell me my Grandma just died...he took me into his office and closed the door(which I had never seen him do before) and he just gave me a big hug and motioned to the phone where my Aunt was waiting to talk with me. So as we sat and talked I just watched Pete cry and before you knew it were both crying and the rest is obvious. But Pete was the guy who kept everything in perspective(Gary too) for me and was always there....ready for anything. So Molly and Avery Im giving you the biggest hug right now and will see you soon.
The last time I saw Pete he was filling his tank up nice and fast in way to Sinks...explaining the amazing morning he just had with Avery and how shes growing so fast...he didnt mention much about climbing....
LOVE Dennis
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Lizard
climber
Victor, ID
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Aug 15, 2007 - 12:46pm PT
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Hi Molly and Avery,
I have been walking around numb ever since I got the news. I just want you to know that our thoughts are with you. When I am not just dealing my thoughts turn to the 3 of you and all the good times we have had together.
If it wasn't for you and Pete I am not sure Mark and I ever would have had kids. I remember thinking, if they can do it and they seem to really love it and Avery is so wonderful maybe we can. Having the children has been the best thing we have ever done - Thank-you.
What I remember most about Pete is his unflailing enthusiasm and energy. His ability to be in the moment and the way his face would light up when he talked about Avery.
We'll see you this week-end.
Liz
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Elkie
Mountain climber
Ellsworth, WI
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Aug 15, 2007 - 01:12pm PT
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To the Ablsolon's, Herber's and SuperTopo Community:
I have had the distinct honor of knowing Pete's sister Mary, her husband Bill, their daughter Molly and their son Chris thru our son's high school wrestling program over the past 6 years at St Thomas Academy in Mendota Heights, MN.
Although I have not met Pete, his wife Molly and daughter Avery, I can rest assured they have been wonderful people if they are anything like the Herber's. My heart goes out to you all.
A loss is felt in so many directions and so deeply when someone is taken before the summit. I, like the other members of the St Thomas Academy Wrestling program and community will be sure to keep the family in our thoughts and prayers and ask God to give strength at this juncture in our climb.
I am an avid hunter, who greatly enjoys the mountains and I know that when that cool breeze falls upon me on my future adventures, I will pray that it is Peter protecting me from whatever encounter lies around the corner.
God Bless You All!
~Elkie
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cmaestas
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 01:26pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
I can't tell you how sorry I am. I wish I could be there right now for you, but I know you are surrounded by friends and family. We are in Casper right now, but I will call you soon. Please know that you are constently in our thoughts. Gabriella sends a special hug to Avery, and as soon as she is ready, would like to have her over.
I didn't know Pete well, but occasionally we'd run into each other when picking the girls up from school, and chat while we waited for them to come on out. He always had a smile on his face. I remember how Avery's face lit up at the sight of her Daddy.
Molly, I hope you know that if there is ANYTHING you need - anything we can do, I'm here for you. ((((hugs))))
Christine, Cade, Gabriella, and Alex
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Rich Brame
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:09pm PT
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Molly:
When I think of your family today, the recent TNC event at your place at Red Butte immediately comes to mind.
It was evening and the sun was sinking in the west as Susan and I walked up the two-track toward our car. It had been a nice gathering of folks interested in community and conservation and preserving much of what’s best about Lander’s beautiful foothills. Earlier, Pete had briefly welcomed the group in his typically self-effacing and heartfelt way. As time passed, the sunset relieved the heat and painted everything in warm colors.
But the image that strikes me now is what I saw as we were leaving. It was a small, brief observation, the kind of thing we see everyday and don’t think much about. Pete and Avery were down in the grass below the two-track. I could clearly hear them bantering back and forth, deep in some imagined game involving Avery’s exploration of the junipers and red rocks as they headed back to join you.
I could see Pete highlighted gold by the low sun. He wasn’t looking my way, he was squinting into the sun as he watched Avery scamper in her game. Pete was talking with Avery in that bemused, attentive tone parents use with young children they love. As you might guess, Avery was calling the shots (or trying to). Father and daughter were clearly on an adventure. And it was perfect.
If there is any truth to the notion that when we die we return in some way to the places and times we love most dearly in life, I suspect that sun-drenched, golden evening with you up ahead and Avery in tow, is one of many, many shared places that Pete will surely visit.
Rich Brame
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Christina Armbrecht
Social climber
WV
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:19pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
over the last few days as the sadness seems to deepen so do the images and memories I have of Pete--he adored his Mol and Aves! What I loved and appreciated most about Pete was his unwavering nature. He had this incredible steadiness, didn't he? Always the one making things happen, planning and gathering the necessities for the activity... skiing, cooking, whatever... What strikes me most now is he gave with such apparent ease and from great abundance within himself. Never appearing to tire....he often wanted those he was with to be having a great time...he really got something from that. Pete had this amazing ability to size someone up...it's like he knew my ability better than I did and I always trusted that if Pete says I can do it than I must be able to. I remember sitting around the table this winter listening to his adventures hunting Elk...I loved listening to those stories not really so much for the stories but because I got to see the nature of Pete...his joy and excitement...I can still see his face all lit up...that twinkle....loved it! Here's to you Pete!
i miss him too....
so much love to you both...will be with you tomorrow...
Christina (one of the Armbrecht outlaws)
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Mees
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:29pm PT
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I remember running into Pete a lot at Sinks when we lived in Wyoming, we even shared a few belays and knew a few of the same people but I never got to know him that well. I can relate quite well to the joy of having kids at the crag with you and rigging the king swings in killer cave as we have done the same for our kids. My condolences to family and friends.
Pat
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estaban
Trad climber
Mount Vernon/WA
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:43pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I am saddened to hear of Pete's loss, and wish for both you that he reamin ever present in your lives, as I am sure he will.
When Mark told me what had happened, I like other's found the news unbeliveable, and now I am still struggling for words. I have known you both since I joined NOLS in '93 and worked at the RM in '94. I have worked more closely with over the last few years on staffing issues. Pete's calm pragmatic approach has had a strong influence on me as a program supervisor. But it is Pete's sense of humour and generosity of spirit that I will carry with me. As well as the openess with which all three of you as a family have been expamles to our community.
Take Care our thought's are with you,
Steve and Linda Summers
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Ericka
Trad climber
Denver, CO
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Aug 15, 2007 - 02:48pm PT
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13 years ago, Pete was one of my instructors for the climbing section of my NOLS Instructor course at Split Rock. I'd known him from around Lander some. But on that course, I really got to know and appreciate his fabulous sense of humor, his tremendous strength as a climber, and as an all-around great guy. We students all marvelled at his climbing feats and would say if Pete couldn't climb it in tennis shoes, we wouldn't be able to climb it at all. He was such a great teacher and person - I have no doubt he was a wonderful father and leader of the NOLS Rocky Mountain Branch and will be missed by many.
My thoughts are with you, Molly and Avery.
-Ericka (Houck) Englert
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musician
Trad climber
CO
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Aug 15, 2007 - 03:02pm PT
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Everything that has been said about Pete in this thread covers so much of my experience working for and camping with Pete. It is so, so sad, and I feel uncomfortable at how I took his presence at NOLS for granted. He was an amazing individual and role model, and is sorely missed. I will just relate a story related to Pete’s superlative teaching skills.
Pete was the briefer on my second NOLS course in the Winds and he was also the liaison for our students. On the first day with the students, Pete led some kind of group initiative. During the class he paused to gather his thoughts, and I remember thinking that it was a remarkably long pause in front of a group. Bold, yet refreshingly acceptable. It was very effective for him in gathering his own thoughts, and then equally effective at gathering the students’ attention. Since then as a WMI Instructor I have regularly played with this idea, and often think of Pete. I have embarked on a music career as of recent, and I feel teaching and performing are closely related art forms. I frequently apply this same principle into the music I compose and play (which is not so easy on a 5-string banjo). Just a small way that Pete touched me.
My heart goes out to Molly, Avery and their family, and to Steve as well. I wish I could be there this weekend.
Jake
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John A
Sport climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 03:11pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery, and everyone who happens to read this,
Amidst the enormous sadness of the last few days I have thought of many, many wonderful memories of climbing, and hanging out with you and Pete, I almost don't know where to begin. But there is one memory that occurs as often as any other...
It was the summer of 1998, the summer that my mom died, and shortly after we had finished building the climbing gym in the Absolon's garage. I was worried about my dad being alone in California, so I invited him out to Wyoming. To give us something to do together I decided that we would re-roof my house. I mentioned this in passing to Pete, and suddenly his face took on this look of mission. "You helped me," he said, "so I'm gonna help you." He gave me a brief tutorial on how to organize a roofing party, and everything I would need to buy.
The next morning, deeply hungover, I awoke at 7 to the sound of Pete's truck in my driveway. While I frantically made and guzzled coffee, Pete unloaded ladders and sawhorses, and implements of destruction. Over the next four days Pete worked at least 10 hours a day, and ran the whole project. He allocated roofing tasks to all of the 20 or so gracious volunteers, and freed me up to be just another worker bee, working with my dad. I particularly remember one of the times that Molly came by, and was in the house, while Pete was on the roof. I remember she and Pete smiling at each other thru the new skylight that Pete had just framed in.
I never thanked Pete enough for that. I'm not sure that I ever could. I've always been proud of how the roof turned out, and particularly now it is beautiful to me. Pete and Molly became my dad's favorites of all my friends. I remember him telling me, as we drove to the airport for his flight back to California, what great parents he thought they would make...
Love,
John Abel
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cmaestas
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 03:24pm PT
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Molly,
I just thought of a memory I have that I wanted to share, because I don't think you were there. When the school had their "bike rodeo" for the kids this past spring, Suzanne and I brought the girls' bikes over, and stood on the "sidelines" to watch the kids ride their bikes. We were joined by George Grossman, and pretty soon here comes Pete around the building, riding Avery's bike. I remember a few of the kids near us noticed him and were laughing to see this grown man on a small girl's bicycle, but as he stood on the petals, sort of hunched over and stopped to hand the bike over to Avery, I thought he looked pretty darn cool! He stayed there with us while the kids all rode the courses, and when Avery was done with her bike, he rode off on it. A very loving, and cool dad!
Again, I'm so very sorry. You know how to get a hold of me if I can do anything....
Hugs, Christine
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Joe Austin
climber
Lander
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Aug 15, 2007 - 03:38pm PT
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I'm having such a difficult time coming up with words to express my feelings, which I'm sure is a common affliction right now. Molly, my thoughts are with you and Avery. I can't imagine your pain, yet I know it's deep. I know you're a strong woman and you've got a beautiful daughter and so many friends to help you.
Of course my thoughts are also with Pete. I really liked Pete and will miss him terribly. We've been in the same weekly meeting together now for a few years, and his presence is something I've always looked forward to. Thoughtful, inquisitive, smiling, laughing. He didn't shy away from difficult tasks or from asking important questions. He seemed so adept at balancing the fun hog life while also being the professional office boy/desk jockey. There was never any pretension. What you saw was what you got. He was very genuine and so easy to get along with.
Somewhere along the line, Pete got way into hunting. He was excited to hear my stories and he loved recounting his own. He would call me at work, presumably to ask a quick work related question and then the truth came out..."Sooo, did you get one?" 30 minutes later, after having recounted in great detail our missed opportunities and ultimate successes, we would both decide we should get back to work, but now with a smile for having once again shared in the years hunt.
Our hurt is in proportion to our love of Pete, and that's why it hurts so bad.
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ChadH
Social climber
Denver, CO
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Aug 15, 2007 - 03:49pm PT
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Molly and Avery, I am so sorry about your loss. I can't believe it. I started at NOLS around the same time as you and Pete. Even while Pete was a new instructor, I always thought of him as an "instructor's instructor." Molly, I recall your great smile and laughter in the odd NOLS office located on the third floor of the old Lander post office where we both worked, and I knew you and Pete were soulmates because he shared your amazing capacity for full engagement in life. My thoughts are with you.
Chad Henderson
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:03pm PT
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A long time ago I brought Pete down to the Gendarme at Seneca Rocks to take my place at the climbing school. I know Pete never regretted the choice and neither did any of his students or people who worked with him. He was everything a guide should be and a great friend. Along with Howard Doyle's passing, this year has narrowed the circle of the old guard at Seneca. Cherish your friends, and the memories of those who are gone.
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tharper
climber
Montreal, QC
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:20pm PT
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To those closest to Pete,
I’m very sad to hear that he has died.
While I didn’t have the honour of working with Pete in the field, I remember long phone conversations with him where he spoke openly about the NOLS community he loved, I remember him at the crag in Sinks, I remember a “business lunch” which involved a quick run around the loop in Lander, I remember a coveted invitation to a session in his bouldering cave at home, and the energy and joy he couldn’t help sharing when his family was nearby, or in his thoughts.
It’s not a coincidence that many writing highlight what a great leader Pete was, and will be, for us, because his spirit is eternal in those he led. I will continue to try and get things done in his understated, engaging, style.
Avery, your dad is you and all that is around you.
My thoughts are with all of you down there,
Toby.
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mark m
climber
ward colorado
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:21pm PT
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I remember Pete back in the 80's at Seneca Rocks amazing climber and person somone to look up to. Once he and I hooked up at Stone Mountain N.C. The day before he had soloed a bunch of routes including Rainy Day Woman. We met at the bouldering slab Pete was climbing in the new fire rock shoes and I had EB's after a few minutes he ask if he could use my EBs. He made a few atempts then got realy frustrated that it wasn't going smoothly. Pete made it up but he wasn't satisfide until he could do all the problems under complet control which ever shoes he was using. I then belayed Pete on some of those runout 5.11s with their running belays which with Pete all I had to do was feed him the rope. While at Prescot College I was making my first trip to the Sears boulders Tom Cecil warned me of the searious nature of the climbing there telling me thats where Pete Absolon broke his ankle.
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Lynn Iler
climber
Providence, RI
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:23pm PT
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Dear Molly,
Margaret Creel just called me to tell me about Pete's death. I am overwhlemed with sadness. I am also flooded with warm memories of our fun times together in Berkeley. I just assumed that we would all meet up again in the next few years and I would see you and Pete and get to finally meet Avery. I wanted our families to meet when my kids were old enough to travel well. You were one of my first friends who was married and you were such a great example of how much fun being a couple could be. I loved being around both of you and watching you interact. Always positive, fun, funny... I have enjoyed your Holiday letters each year and watching your family blossom. This just seems so wrong. I am happy that you have the NOLS community and your friends close to you to help you through this. I am thinking of and sending my love to you and Avery and the Absolon and Armbrecht families. The world is better for Pete having been here. I wish you strength and peace. Love, Lynn
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Liz Tuohy
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:28pm PT
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To submit photos for memorial service slide show/memory room:
I've just been told that downloading photos to this site can be time consuming. If you'd prefer, you can email photos to petepic@gmail.com.
Thanks.
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RBK
climber
Boise, ID
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:38pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
I am so sorry to hear this news. It makes me so sad. Pete has been my role model as a parent ever since Avery was born and I was working with him at the RMB. At the time I could not see or imagine the kind of love he demonstrated for his family. It was not until Arya was born did I really understand. I have been watching and learning from his devotion the last 5 years. My heart aches for you.
Ron Barnes-Kelley
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Wyomike
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:40pm PT
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Molly,
When I came to Lander in 1989, Pete was the first NOLS instructor I went climbing with in Sinks for an afternoon. Ben Hammond had introduced us a few days earlier. Like everyone who met Pete, I immediately trusted him as climbing partner and came to care deeply for him as a friend. I have not met a more solid, dependable and positive person than Pete. Whether he was in the field with students or taking on a new leadership role at NOLS, I always knew things would be better with his firm but gentle hand at the helm. I will always remember Pete hanging on his new route cleaning and drilling on the "Wilds Wall" and I was 100 feet away working on my new route. Pete was so excited for his new route but so encouraging and excited about mine as well, always supportive and interested in others!
Pete stopped by my office in January and that was the last time I saw him. When I heard the tragic news, I thought about that day and pictured the perpetual smile, the kind eyes and warmth he always exuded.
Molly, I will see you this weekend and give you a hug, I know Laura and Hannah will keep coming over to visit Avery and being there for you and her.
Warmest regards and love,
Michael
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RichardA
climber
Arlington VA
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:46pm PT
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I went to college in Washington with Pete and we’d run in the mornings with Pete’s old roommate, Ken. We were up pretty early for college kids; down to the Lincoln Memorial, up the stairs and around the back where the great views of the Potomac are. You can’t run there anymore. Then all along the mall to the Capitol, and back to GW, all before most folks were out of bed. We ran 3 or 4 days a week for a while.
Then there were days when Pete wouldn’t join us. He had other plans. I saw him leaving the dorm with a weird pair of shoes in his hands and asked where he was going. Pete had found a wall, just a few blocks from our dorm; a 20-foot high stone wall that supports the E street underpass from 20th street to 23rd street. Made of large stone and mortar construction, it was perfectly vertical and Pete was climbing it, with cars going by 6 feet behind him. He did this a few times a week for a while. I tried it once and couldn’t go anywhere, but he was building strength and working on technique. If you tried climbing that wall now in the middle of DC you’d cause quite a stir.
Pete took me out to Carderock one weekend, sometime after that. He set up the ropes and had me climb up 6 feet or so from the base, then he told me to let go. He inspired such confidence. That’s the first time I really noticed his gift to teach. I made it to the top, thanks to his patience and encouragement.
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RichardA
climber
Arlington VA
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:50pm PT
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Molly,
My heart goes out to you and to Avery.
Love always,
Richard and Sherri
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lucy
climber
clarkesville, georgia
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:50pm PT
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i am a friend of the armbrecht family and my heart is with them and pete's family, and the communities that were fortunate to know him. all my thoughts, lucy m. venable
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brian b
climber
Sarotoga Ca
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Aug 15, 2007 - 04:55pm PT
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It’s been great to read the stories about Pete, and to learn about the man (great dad, husband, and leader at NOLS, outdoorsman, and great guy) he had become – they have somehow made this tragic loss just a little easier. A bunch of us who grew up with Pete have been talking and emailing over the past few days (look for post from his Rockville friends too) and recounting stories of how we met Pete, things we did together and the things we remember most about him.
Here is a bit about Pete’s life growing up. He came to Rockville -I guess this is a good place for a rock climber to be from ;) the summer after 6th grade. I knew him from the neighborhood, from school and through scouts. As a student, Pete was way ahead of the rest of us –very consistent with the many stories about his adult life; he was always patent and willing to help the rest of us when we got behind. The only major issue of friction Pete had with the rest of us (and we never got him to come around) was his love for the Dallas Cowboys and absolute dis respect for the Washington Redskins. His love for the outdoors, I think, started with scouting. The best story I can remember from this time is a 3 day trip Pete and I took for our Wilderness Survival merit badge (at that time he was not a NOLS expert mind you – he was a 13 year old kid) and the two of us spent a day and a half running after rabbits, imaging how good they would taste for dinner. We never caught them, and ended up eating crayfish and wild carrots and dirking creek water for the duration. Some time later – Pete and I took an introduction class on climbing at Carderock and you could see from that point on that he was hooked. After that class, Pete took almost everyone he knew climbing – and it sounds like this went on for the rest of his life. At some point, we out grew scouts and if anything his love for the outdoors just increased. I was talking with Pete’s great friend, Mark Brosnan yesterday – and we just could not even figure out how many times the we had gone camping over the years – I don’t know if it was every weekend from 9th grade on – but it was pretty close. The Appalachian Train, Shendoha & Old Rag, Harpers Ferry, Coctican Mountains, etc were some of our favorite spots. One memorable trip – (I hope that neither Avery nor my kids follow this example) we told our folks that we were going camping for a three day weekend. That weekend, Pete and I hitchhiked to visit his brother Fritz in Marietta OH (pretty big trip for 16 year olds) On that trip, I can remember being on the side of a road in West Virginia and not seeing a car pass us for more than 3 hours – when we finally caught a ride it was in the back of a truck hauling livestock – you will be happy to know that Pete had a great sense of humor even in that situation. During high school I can remember the Absolon house, and especially the kitchen table, and pool table in their basement as centers of our social life. When Pete went to college at George Washington, we stayed in touch. Pete’s climbing ability has far surpassed the rest of us, so our contact had more to do with catching up over a beer and talking about the future than on climbing. We all marveled at the trips he took – Joshua tree in Calf, Gunk’s in New York and of course, Seneca Rocks.
After college, I rented a room at the Absolon house (Pete was living at Seneca then) and stayed in touch with his doings via his brother John and Mom. A few years later – my then girlfriend (now wife) Lois, was renting a room at the Absolon house – and we would often see Pete when he would return home & catch up with us over a beer or two.
Over the years, we had kind of lost track – Christmas cards and an email here and there – and that makes me sad. Pete was one of those guys that you could see after a long absence – even years – and feel like you just picked up and never missed a beat. In reading the many stories people have posted – he grew up to be a great guy, and I really wish I had done a better job staying in touch. Years ago my dad told me that at the end – you will be able to count you number of true – life long friends on one hand – I’ve just lost one. I will see you in Lander this weekend.
Brian Brouillette
Saratoga, Ca
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Tim Fisher
climber
Maine
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Aug 15, 2007 - 05:11pm PT
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I'm glad to help Ted post this photo of Pete taken during one of their adventures together.
From Teton Pass:
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NOLS Public Policy Manager II
Social climber
Bridgton, Maine
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Aug 15, 2007 - 05:26pm PT
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Pete, you are a beautiful soul.
One of the best I ever encountered in my six year dance with the NOLS Tent Group -- a community of great souls. You can give a "Nah, really?!" with such a straight face that I still don't know if you believed or really cared about some of the tangential whoo-ha you allowed me to spin, dropping by the RMB on a Lander afternoon. You, Willy C., Gary C., and yours truly, jawing about permit violations and inane rules near the map room. But you are a good listener. And weather its B.S. or the real deal how can you give the SAME LOOK when weaving a tale? Is that uber subtle mischievous twinkle a clue? Or how about the over-the-top double-take-styled zowie look? Is that a clue? I don't know. You are smart and a delight to share time with. I will forever smile thinking about you and watching you climb once or twice. And how you make Molly glow, that golden soul mate glow. Thank you for sharing such gifts. Also, thank you and Molly for sharing your kitchen and fridge, utensils and salt, so I could whip up a batch of margaritas and dress up silly at Halloween.
Again, peace hombre, and my love to you and yours,
Stefan J. Jackson (with Laura, Stefanie, and Jacqueline Ordway)
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Aug 15, 2007 - 05:33pm PT
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Maggie sent me the link to this photo, which I thought I would post. You guys can post photos in this forum by finding a photo of Pete on line somewhere, and then right clicking on it to get its properties. You copy and paste the URL into the post here, and then you put these tags on front and back, just don't leave the space between the g and the ] like I did here to show you: [img ]http://www.photo.jpg[/img ]
I only met Pete a few times back in the day at Seneca Rocks, but he was a very inspirational guy. I thought he looked like the quintessential "hardman", and I can distinctly remember to this day the look on his face, and the body position he affected, as he described to me in great detail how he attempted to climb Spock's Brain - one of those sandbag desperate Seneca 5.10's that today's plastic warrior can barely imagine let alone climb. He didn't make it that day, but you knew he'd be back soon. Pete was busy everywhere at Seneca, yet he was always available and approachable when I asked him for route recommendations and beta.
It's wonderful to see the great outpouring of love for Pete. He was obviously a very remarkable man, and you are blessed to have had him as a friend.
Man, Pete looks the same in this photo as he did twenty years ago!
Yours,
"Pass the Pitons" Pete
[oh yeah, I never climbed Spock's Brain]
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Drew Leemon
Mountain climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 05:56pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
Hardly a moment has gone by since I learned of Pete’s passing on Sunday morning that he and you and Avery haven’t been in my thoughts. Reading all these kind words from your friends and family begins to sadden me further, but then slowly sadness fades away and inspiration takes over. It’s easy to get inspired because Pete was such a great guy.
While I never had the opportunity to climb with Pete or work a course with him we did share some mountain bike rides (remember riding Wolf Trail almost twenty years ago?) and some time on skis. Pete and I skied together at a wellness day at White Pine not too long ago and while everyone else was hucking off jumps Pete and I skied the trees eeking more and more turns as the trees got closer and closer together and we crashed through the branches. (What else can you do at White Pine to make it interesting eh?) Pete’s athleticism was awesome and seeing you and him skate skiing at Beaver Creek and tag teaming with Avery was great because you were living life to the fullest and as a family. You guys have always been so open friendly and welcoming and our community is so much better because of it.
Pete was awesome to have as a coworker here at the office. I so highly respected him because of his abilities and expertise, but mostly just because of the way he was. He was easy to be with, quick to laugh and joke and his ability to make connections with people was one of his greatest attributes. We’re all better for having known and loved Pete and when Daryl wrote about getting one of Pete’s trademark “hey buddy” greetings I swear I could hear Pete’s voice loud and clear along with the little chuckle that went with his greeting.
I can look out my office window and see the Leg Lake Cirque, which became a special place for me after Erin and I hiked to it last year. While it is now the scene of a great tragedy it also serves as a monument to all that was great about Pete and represents his incredible zest for life, his love for you, Avery and all his friends and family, his love of adventure and wildness, and the towering impact he had on everyone he met.
With all our love,
Drew, Lori, Erin, Kyle and Reid.
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barbaloot
Social climber
bozeman, mt
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Aug 15, 2007 - 06:28pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery --
News of Pete's death has reached me visiting my dad. Words are hard to come by to express the sadness I feel or to offer what I most want to give you -- some small measure of comfort. I am thinking of you a lot. And thinking of an old photo I have of Pete, Gary Wilmot and John Kempf dressed in skirts, showing some sexy, if a bit hairy, leg on that briefing day long ago when you, Missy and I were leading the sister course (literally) to their mtneering course. I will try to find it for you. I hope to see you Sunday. I am sending you both lots of love and big hugs. Pete is already hugely missed.
All my love -
Barb Cestero
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Coopersdad
Social climber
Wilmington, NC
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Aug 15, 2007 - 06:32pm PT
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Molly, Ted, Christina & Avery,
I just ran into Renee (Christina's friend, my wuz-wif) on the way home and she told me about Pete. I only spent a few short hours with you and Pete at Teddy & Christina's wedding and truly enjoyed meeting you both. My heart breaks for you and even though you may not remember me I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you.
Greg U.
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shannon Westerman
climber
NY, NY
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Aug 15, 2007 - 06:41pm PT
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Molly - I wish I was there to give you a huge hug... I'm thankful you and Avery are surrounded by love - please know you're in my every thought and prayer ---- Shannon Westerman, New York CIty
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leslie valentine
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 06:45pm PT
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Dear Molly and all Absolon family friends,
My heart goes out to you all. I remember with love the wonderfull wedding of Peter and Molly on that windswept hillside in West Virginia. Pete's life force can never be extinguished. He will always be climbing...
With love,
Leslie
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rosswehner
Mountain climber
Denver
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Aug 15, 2007 - 07:30pm PT
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I remember a 1999 instructor mountaineering seminar that Pete and Molly led in the winds. We were slammed by a brutal storm on a snow field up around Indian Pass. That evening, as the storm gathered force and our anxiety accumulated with the ice, I saw Pete outside our tent. There he was, hatless and with an impossibly soaked jacket, in a downpour of rain and ice. He was skiing down the snow field in his hiking boots and taking laps to do it over and over again. No one could believe this behavior -- we were trying to survive, after all! But a few of us rallied and went skiing with him. Soon we we felt joyful and at home in the wild world. Pete was an extraordinary and soft-spoken leader who always found a way to make those around him happy.
Later on that same trip, I and another instructor did an ice climb on Dinwoody Peak with Pete. Pete was leading vertical ice on the first bergschrung when the tip of his ice pick snapped. He hung there, on one tool, and examined the broken pick for a long, clinical moment. “Bummer,” he said. Then he flashed that smile and moved upwards without hesitation. I could not believe it. When we had climbed too far to descend, we were hit by a storm that dropped two feet of snow in just a few hours. We all became very cold. Pete became super focused. He took extra time to build and test the anchors, which at the time I found frustrating. Let’s just go! But he slowed down and kept things safe. At the top the wind was howling so much that we could not speak. We struggled to find a way off the mountain. But we made it to the pass again and descended down snow-covered boulders. We punched through the cloud line around 11 p.m. and saw the lights of Pinedale before us and also the headlamps of some in our group coming to find us. We met Molly first and it was clear that she had been worried as she hugged Pete. But there was no anger. I understood then that their marriage involved extraordinary levels of freedom, trust and growth.
My wife and I will be in Lander this weekend with our two small children. I want my wife to understand why I feel the way I do about Pete Absolon, and I want someday for my children to understand that as well. Molly and Avery, Pete will live on forever because he is in that class of extraordinary souls who inspire people to do difficult and wonderful things.
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Dorsey
climber
East Lansing, MI
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Aug 15, 2007 - 08:02pm PT
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Molly -
I'll bet I am not the only one transfixed by this forum. The airwaves and e-waves and phone-waves are buzzing from coast to coast and then some. Clearly Pete's life has powered and inspired so many; maybe it's a bit of comfort to see that he is still lighting up the world through all those who love him.
I forwarded links about Pete to friends who don't know Pete - I wanted them to meet your amazing man and understand that it is possible to love and live and work and marry and parent with full-on joy. I want them to see what a rich community such a life inspires. And, selfishly, I wanted them to understand why I am so sad and why my friend Molly needs all our hugs and tears and laughter. One friend wrote a long response that ended: "it would seem Pete's life provides a template for living well and big and pink and with courage and love and passion. I'm going to
try to learn from his example." Pete is still teaching...
Love, Dorsey (a friend from high school)
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pegasus2007@ureach.com
climber
Minneapolis,MN
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Aug 15, 2007 - 08:07pm PT
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To the family and friends of Pete especially Molly and Avery,
The tragic news of Pete’s death fills me with memories. I’d like to share a story about Pete and some thoughts on grieving.
Pete made quite an impression the first few days I worked with him in the field many years ago. I was working my first course, the PL was working her second course and due to the first course leader’s illness and crazy summer staffing Pete was the third CL to join us. He joined the adventure course at the second ration half way through the course. I remember vividly two meals Pete prepared with a few extra treats he brought. He whipped up burritos complete with canned beans and fresh veggies. Later he baked an apple coffee cake with real apples. Pete had a knack for providing little things at the right time that made a big difference. He delighted in being thoughtful.
I also would like to share some thoughts on grieving. I’ve found grieving can be a special time that among the sadness is joy, humor and love. Sixteen years ago, my mother died suddenly when I was twenty-one and through the grieving process memories flooded back and I appreciated being surrounded by the love of family and friends. Through the grieving process (which never ends) I found new ability to experience the joys and sorrows of life.
I hope you all can grieve well and let the feeling flow -- cry, laugh, scream, etc. Even consider skinny dipping. After laughing and crying for a couple hours at an outdoor memorial service for a friend, who died in a climbing accident in Yosemite, the group ran toward the Merced River. We experience a group skinny dip and the cold river water was refreshing and emotionally cleansing.
My life is far away from those Idaho Mountains where I first met Pete thirteen years ago but I remember many lessons including how little things at the right time can make a big difference. As I watch my 11 month old toddle about I am reminded of the miracle of life and love amongst family members. I’ll especially be thinking of you, Molly and Avery, as you grieve. I’ll be sending loving energy toward all of you gathered in Wyoming this weekend to remember Pete.
Lots of love,
Peggy Savanick Guiney
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John Gans
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 15, 2007 - 08:25pm PT
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We were so distraught to hear the news of Pete on Sunday morning. Our family was traveling in Ecuador …. something I imagined that Pete, Molly and Avery would be doing at some point. We headed for home with lots of airplane time to think about Pete.
I first met Pete 20 years ago in Alaska. He traveled North to visit Molly. I remember first talking to him as he sat on the couch in the NOLS Alaska house. There were many impressions from that first meeting. The first of those was how interested he was in Molly…. he certainly seemed to hope that this Alaska visit would make an impression on Molly. Pete struck me as an individual who was both very low-keyed (sprawled on the couch) and yet very intense. He struck me as patient and yet driven. He struck me as the “common man” and yet such a rare one. Now 20 years later, I still have all of the same complex impressions of Pete.
At NOLS, we were very lucky that Pete joined our community in advancing our mission. He was a talented and dedicated member of our staff. I saw him work his way through various positions at NOLS, sometimes getting the next job and at other times not getting it. When he was turned down he was always graceful and always wondering how he could better himself. That philosophy led him to the position of directing our largest school. Where others saw problems, Pete saw opportunities. He was creative, patient and fun.
Even though he wasn’t born at the right time, I always thought that Pete was the guy that Norman Rockwell was painting. He was the All American Kid that grew up to be a model citizen of our world. I will still see his face in many a Rockwell painting.
At the end of the day I often found myself in the office after others had cleared out. It was very common to run into Pete at that time, as he was sneaking is a bit more work before heading home. At those times Pete would talk about Avery and Molly. He was always anxious to get home and see them. He would often ask me about adventures for kids when the kids would get older. He was truly very dedicated to family.
While Pete and all of us are visitors to the mountains, he was not a visitor to our organization and our community. He has forever changed NOLS and all of us affiliated with it, for the better. His lessons in patience, hard work, passion for the mountains and passion for our organization are all lessons we must carry forward.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you Molly, Avery, Pete’s family, Molly’s family, Steve, and this extended family/community.
Pete I thank you for your many gifts!!
John Gans
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GTRoan
Trad climber
Falls Church, VA
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Aug 15, 2007 - 09:52pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery and all of Pete's friends,
It has been 10-15 years since I last spoke to Pete at Seneca Rocks. But I remember him as one of the most likeable, cordial, and upbeat people I have ever known. I knew Pete mostly in his early guide years when he worked for the Gendarme at Seneca. He possessed irrepressable optimism and great humor. I remember a time when Bob Berger and I visited him at his Seneca home after a mountain bike accident. Pete had gone head first over the handlebars on his way home on a back trail from the Gendarme. He was a mess--cut up all over his face and in a lot of pain. It did not dent Pete's positive attitude one iota. He was his usual cheery self. He thanked us for stopping by to see how he was, and he could not stop offering us suggestions on what to climb that day. We all will miss him.
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usedtoclimb
Mountain climber
Madison, WI
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Aug 15, 2007 - 10:03pm PT
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Molly and dear friends-
I keep thinking today about Pete's broad smile and the way his laugh sounded in the halls of the RMB. We're sending our thoughts and hopes that you find moments of peace in the next few weeks earnestly across the heartland to the Lander folks we love so much.
Fondly, Tim, Pam and Clara Felt
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Robin & Chris
climber
Missoula
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Aug 15, 2007 - 11:26pm PT
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For the past 20+ years I haven't seen much of Pete. Occasionnaly, I had the pleasure of seing him and Molly as they passed through Missoula on their way to a climb. When Molly and Robin (my wife) went to school in Berkeley in the late 1980s, I got to know him. I really don't have a note of some outing we went on (although there were many in those days). What I do want to share though is what Pete was like, or at least what I beleive he was like.
Pete was one of those people that brought kindness and a sense of warmth to the world. He was always offering encouragement to people. He had a mischovous smile and kid-like glint in his eye. He wasn't loud or self absorbed, yet he was tenacious and determined when he wanted something. One of his best qualities was that he rarely seemed to demand attention to himself, rather he wanted to know about you and what you were interested in. He had a gentle, fun soul and you wanted to be around him. He will be dearly missed.
Chris
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KB lander
Trad climber
Lander
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Aug 15, 2007 - 11:30pm PT
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OK, I haven't had the heart to read any of the current entires, I don't think I have the strength or tears yet to go there.
So, I'm going to talk about hunting on a climbing web site. I actually hunted before Pete. We were both working at the RMB and a friend, Larry Berger, offered to take me deer hunting when our local area offered doe tags. Well, I killed a doe and feeling like the great white woman hunter and things were good. I think Pete caught wind of my accomplishment, and more importantly of what was in my freezer. So of course the next year at the beginning of hunting season Pete has already researched all of the tags possible , gotten a gun a figured out the balistics of rifles.
OK, moving on......at some point in the fall, Pete, Gary C. and myself go antelope hunting. Totally clueless, armed with rifles and Pete at the wheel. A herd of antelop, we park hike around the hill, crawl to the top on our bellies, lie low, aim and Pete fires, he misses, I shoot, I actually shoot the rock which ricachades and hits Gary in the shoulder. We go home at the end of the day without killing but with spending a memorable day together.
so, the story goes on that Pete excels at hunting and kills on an average 3-6 animals a year. I have yet to kill an elk, although Pete has never done anything but encourage me to keep trying and offering to help me out. Pride got in the way and lately I never took him up on help.
so, to finish the story. Last fall I had a reduced price permit in the same area as Pete. I thought I'd figured it out and knew where the elk were at. I arrived on a beautiful fall afternoon ready to kill my elk. Hiking down the hill to Beaver Creek I saw a vehicle down the hill. I took a second look and realized I knew the vehicle. It was Petes green truck that none of us will ever forget. As I approached I realized he had killed a cow elk and was finishing the butchering and loading in the green truck. He told me how he had hiked and slept in and elk bedding area and then waken and followed them for several hour before he got a shot. A shot he took and made and therefore was taking home meat to his beautiful wife, Molly, and his new found love Avery, his daughter. Gary and I joked when Molly had Avery and Pete started being successful at hunting, that it was a male instinct to provide for family. I think for Pete it was that, it was the opportunity for a new challenge, and it was what Pete does....embraces everything in life with enthusiasm, excitement, optimism, and childish love.
Pete, you know how much I love you. Molly, I hope you know how much I love you. Avery, you have no idea how much our entire community loves you.
Sorry for the long words for those of you who made it this far. May the memories and love of Pete keep us all strong in this time of ultimate sadness and questioning why this stuff happens - Peace, Kathy
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George B
climber
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Aug 15, 2007 - 11:48pm PT
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Dear Family and Friends of Pete Absolon,
I have been thinking about Pete for the last three days.
I did not spend a lot of time with him, but whenever I was in Lander we got a chance to catch up, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company.
From the moment I met Pete he always made me feel at ease. He was the “in-town” supervisor for my first course as an instructor. I remember being nervous at the de-brief and Pete made me feel proud of my accomplishments and contributions. I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to work with him and to experience his positive energy.
I know that I am one of many people “out there” who had the good future to be in Pete’s presence at some point and to experience his enthusiasm and spirit for life.
I wish that all of you find peace and strength at this time in your lives.
George Brockman
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LRob
climber
Boulder
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Aug 16, 2007 - 12:26am PT
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I did not know Pete well, but he nevertheless had an impact on my life. Molly, I grew up in Charleston, WV, and my father and yours were acquaintances. When I wanted to enroll in a NOLS semester in 1998, your father suggested that my very nervous father contact Pete. Pete quelled my father's worries and was correct in suggesting that NOLS might be a pivotal experience for me. Post NOLS, I bounced between Lander and the New River Gorge for a few seasons. My NRG friends Gene and Maura Kistler would say often, "Did you meet Pete and Molly in Lander? They are amazing. You should look them up." A few summers ago, I finally had the good fortune to climb next to your sweet family at Wild Iris. I still remember Pete's infectious enthusiasm that day. He encouraged me to lead a route that intimidated me and seemed genuinely proud when I clipped the anchors. I also recall how dear he was with Avery. I left my shoes at the crag that afternoon; you kindly rescued them. When I stopped by your house to retrieve them, you were hosting a party. Pete invited me to stay and have a beer. I was in a hurry and declined, but I appreciated his easy hospitality and his welcoming spirit. The world has lost a great person. My heart aches for your family.
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cts
Trad climber
sw PA
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Aug 16, 2007 - 01:27am PT
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This is unbelievable, another great person and climber passes this year! Pete was just a super person to know, I can not remember him ever putting down anyone, or playing any games on people, just a very special person. His climbing ability was phenominal and his energy was unmatched by any one else I knew at Seneca. It is such an awful shame that some one dies from a rock thrown off of a cliff. The community has lost someone who would make a lot of peoples list of top ten climbers they ever shared a rope with. He would make mine. Molly I pray you are able to have peace as you grieve in these coming days. Your friend, Calvin.
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Denise Ackert
climber
CO
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:16am PT
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Oh Molly and Avery, I am so sorry – my heart aches for you both and everyone connected to Pete and this tragedy. I too searched for words over the last few days – only to come up with tears.
When I heard of Pete’s death, I pulled out this great photo of you, Pete and Avery taken immediately after Avery was born. The delight and wonder in both of your eyes is so amazing. You both are simply alight, beaming despite your exhaustion.
I remember Pete during your whole labor, being completely engaged in whatever you were going through in the moment – he would look over and say – "she is amazing, she is so strong!" He loved you and Avery with every cell of his being and will continue to. His spirit lives on as is clear from every posting in this forum.
Avery, your daddy was sooo excited when you came into the world. Big tears of joy streamed down his face at the sight of you! Your dad is gonna miss you so, so much, but he’ll be watching over you and keeping you and your Mom safe.
We are all holding you in a circle of love for you to lean into.
Love and Big Hugs,
Denise Ackert
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Rochelle
Mountain climber
Palmer, AK
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:33am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
We just read through every posting and are overwhelmed by the combination of sadness and joy expressed here. A common theme seems to be to seize the moment to appreciate the people around you.
After a long day of climbing at Seneca rocks in the mid-80’s, buddies from my NOLS semester and I sat the base of the Gendarme and made a decision to rap down and drink beer rather than doing one last pitch—up the Gendarme—at dusk. The pinnacle fell a few months later and we were sad we hadn’t seized the moment.
The thing Shannon and I immediately discussed upon hearing the news was a deep sadness for you, Molly and Avery. Seeing so many names of past, present, and future friends made us resolve to spend a bit more time on relationships.
All four of us started at NOLS in the same era, with many intertwining adventures along the way. We enjoyed working with Pete—at NOLS Rocky Mountain and in staffing. We always appreciated seeing him running the Tomato Loop in the OTHER direction, knowing it meant we wouldn’t have to get passed by him. We enjoyed sharing hunting stories—successful and otherwise.
A particularly memorable moment was Pete listening carefully and sharing comforting words after a particularly difficult stretch of courses and family tragedies a number of years ago. It was always clear he cared and how dedicated he was to family.
On Sunday, those of us in Alaska will be thinking of all of you, especially Molly and Avery.
Love,
Shannon and Rick
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molly hampton
climber
lander, wy
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Aug 16, 2007 - 08:59am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I fondly remember Pete's remarks last month at The Nature Conservancy barbecue at Molly and Pete's land...they have been leaders in this area, helping to preserve the Lander front. Pete was so much himself: heartwarming, thoughtful and modest. I have been inspired this last six months by Molly and Pete's passion for conservation and their enthusiasm to encourage others to join. It was that same commitment and positive outlook on life that I found every day when working with Pete at NOLS. He was a joy to be around, always thinking about better solutions, always caring about the whole NOLS community.
My heart goes out to you, Molly and Avery..while I dearly miss a friend and colleague, I know you miss your life partner and dad, sorrow that I can only imagine. Please take the support you need from us, your community.
My love,
Molly (and Bruce, Sara and Kaili)
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a climber's mom
climber
Middletown, CT
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Aug 16, 2007 - 09:22am PT
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I did not have the good fortune of knowing Pete, but, as the mother of a climber, my heart goes out to Molly and Avery. I am heartened and touched by the outpouring of love and support from the climbing community to Pete’s family. Tears come easily while reading the entries on supertopo.com. Climbers, Molly and Avery need you now, and they will need you for years to come.
I am wondering if any thought has gone toward setting up a fund in memory of Pete, perhaps for Avery’s education. I have not seen any mention of this on the NOLS blog or on supertopo.com. Perhaps I missed it. Even a small fund, allowed to compound and reinvest over the next ten years, might prove helpful to Avery in her college years. This clearly non-climbing “accident,” which happened while climbing, strikes - perhaps irrationally - at the core of the fear parents of climbers feel. We love you, we support you and revel in the joy you experience in your life’s work, yet we worry about you. In honor of our climber, in memory of Pete, for the benefit of Avery, we would contribute to such a fund. And, climbers, I think you might find that some of your families would too.
-a climber’s mom
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sjb
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 10:03am PT
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I can still remember meeting Pete at Sinks Canyon, he was one of the first local climbers to welcome me into the community when I moved to Lander many years ago, very open and unpretentious. Since then, Pete has always been one of the regulars at the local crags. We shared many belays while working routes together and I always appreciated his enthusiasm and determination. More often than not, Pete would be there with Molly, and in more recent years, with their girl Avery. I saw them together a lot and it was obvious how much Pete cared for Molly and Avery.
I knew the trail to the Killer Cave was probably snake-free and safe if I saw Pete’s car was already at the trailhead.
Pete was also very active in the Wind Rivers, completing many first ascents and repeats of the classics. I think he wins the title hands down for most ascents of Black Elk. I have great memories of two trips into the Winds with Pete. On one, we climbed a new route in Moss Lake Cirque around 1999. I was impressed by how focused he became, as the route became more difficult and uncertain and the protection ran thin, he showed capabilities and confidence I had never before seen while climbing with him at Sinks. He really seemed to be in his element.
The last time I saw Pete was at the Gannett Grill, just about two weeks ago now. He had recently returned from a hiking trip with Molly into Leg Lake Cirque and was excited about the climbing potential there. We talked about some potential new routes and his enthusiasm and energy gripped me. He had a big smile on his face and seemed to be very happy. That is how I will remember Pete.
Steve Babits
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kdriese
Social climber
Laramie, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 10:31am PT
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Molly and Avery,
I just wanted to let you two know that Ellen, Bei and I have been thinking about you every day here in Laramie. Thank goodness for the great Lander community who I'm sure are surrounding you with all the help that they possibly can give. Maybe there is no better place in the world to have to go through something like this than Lander.
Love, Ken Driese, Ellen and Bei
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 16, 2007 - 10:52am PT
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Again, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and stories.
I woke up this morning feeling so hollow and sad. Avery is doing well. She is surrounded by a pack of friends who are taking care of her. She asks if it is okay for her to have Pete in her heart but not to be sad all the time. She's stronger than me. But I feel so sad to think of her growing up without her wonderful, amazing daddy. Pete would do things like take her out on the trail-a-bike on single track trails and teach her how to fall- she was three or four at the time. I remember being furious and saying we should stick to roads where falling wasn't an issue...But Avery didn't seem to mind. She learned to fall...
And I remember this father-daughter dance Pete and Avery did this spring at her dance recital. Pete, in his classic way got the music and then came home and practiced over and over. "My Girl" and "Ain't no Mountain High Enough" were etched into my mind as every evening after dinner he'd put them on and start dancing. Avery finally told Pete that she knew the dance and they didn't need to practice anymore. But it was so Pete... if he was going to get up in front of 700 people wearing a tuxedo with a candy-pink cumberbund and tie, he was damn well going to know the steps.
Pete, Pete, I miss you so. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I had so many adventures and epics with him. He never got mad at me when I screamed and cussed at him while I struggled to follow him up a climb, though I do remember being frozen with fear on the traverse on the Normal Route of the Diamond-it was snowing and slippery and I was scared out of my mind-finally Pete yelled at me to just let go and swing across. Right. I guess I finally did something because we did get up the climb and then had a long night getting down, running out of batteries in our flashlight, fumbing in the dark to find the boulder we were camped under. Did I mention that it was actually fun? I loved spending time out in the mountains, the canyons, the ocean, anywhere...
There were lots of those adventures (epics)...and Pete was always the strong one, the unflappable one, the one who took all the weight, the one who believed in me, the one who didn't seem to love me less if I cried or yelled at him, the one who brought me coffee in bed, who fixed my bike, who broke trail, who packed the gear, and...well everything. Now I look ahead and it just feels so empty to think he's gone...
Just yesterday my sister and I tried to go on a bike ride and couldn't figure out how to work Pete's biking shoes and clipless petals. We rode (Ann one foot out of the clip and terrified of tipping over) first to one friend's and then to another to find someone who could at least release her from the bike. Thank you Jim for helping us get the shoe off and figure out how to unclip. It was kind of funny, but also made me realize just how much I need all of you all now.
Thank you all for posting. I cannot believe the voices from the past that are showing up here. Shannon Westerman! It's probably been 30 plus years since we've had any contact. Ross you are too kind in your memory of me greeting you after your late night epic in the Winds-or maybe I saved my anger(read fear and relief) for Pete until later! Jason, Sharon and John, Pete was kind of like Tom Sawyer wasn't he? Before we knew it we were whitewashing the fence for him and loving it. These stories are helping me immensely. I can laugh and cry. It's when I can't cry that the despair feels so deep.
All of you, thanks so much. I know Pete would be incredibly moved and probably embarrassed to read these posts...but he would also be thrilled to discover what his life meant to so many of us.
molly
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Darell Hensley
Trad climber
Davis , WV
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Aug 16, 2007 - 11:26am PT
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Dear Molly your family & friends
Your loss saddens me deeply. Though I have not climbed for many years Pete was one of the first I encountered back in Carderock, Md. Pete was always inspirational and pleasure to climb with and learn from. One day after work while bouldering at Carderock when I was still somewhat of an apprentice learning the craft. I was exploring some of the remote crags until it was well after dark. As I had had been making my way back to the parking lot and I ran into Pete on the trail. He told me our cars were the last two in the lot and he decided to come look for me to make sure I was all right. That gesture has stuck with me to this day and I have often performed the same gesture myself. Molly I still see both of your wonderful smiles and laughter on the porch of the Gendarme. I am grateful to have had Pete touch my life and so many others the way he did.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
Darell
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Ben J
climber
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Aug 16, 2007 - 11:32am PT
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I am married to Molly’s cousin Peggy.
For the last two summers we went car camping with Pete, Molly, and Avery before going on to our own annual family vacation in Wyoming. We went to Yellowstone last year and to the Black Hills this year. Our children are Hugh (5) and Callie (8), so with Avery in between Callie and Hugh it was nice for all of us; our children got along really well in their triangular relationship. And though Peggy and Molly knew each other well from childhood, Pete and I didn’t know each other, or each other’s spouses, very well. I really valued getting to know Pete outside of the distraction and noise that sometimes goes along with large family events—the place to properly get to know Pete was outdoors.
I really like the way Pete related to my son, Hugh. Hugh adored Pete instantly, and since everything is a weapon for Huey, from sticks to spaghetti, Pete’s crossbow and rifle experience added a lot to Pete’s credibility. Together, Pete and I could talk with Hugh about some of Hugh’s ridiculous gunplay, by talking about the real thing through Pete’s elk and deer hunting stories (experience that I simply do not have). The truth is that I was hoping someday Pete would be able to take Hugh hunting—Pete clearly brought a spiritual consciousness to this new activity of his. I looked to Pete to help us better understand male aggression and violence, and I think we learned a lot from Pete. Pete chose to relate to Huey as a sort of Winnie-the-Pooh/Christopher Robin equal, and he also curbed Huey’s unreasonable enthusiasms with a gentle but firm hand. I learned so much about fathering a very energetic young boy just being around Pete during those two brief car camping trips these last two years. Pete wasn’t trying to teach me, but he did a damn good job. My heart really aches for what Hugh has lost in losing Pete. We live at a time when victory and killing seem to be manhood’s only acknowledged prizes. Pete effortlessly demonstrated that it just isn’t so; Pete had another rarer, gentler way to the treasure.
On our last trip we all took a hike together. It could have degenerated into a festival of complaints and anger, from my children in particular, but it didn’t. Pete helped turn the walk to Harney Peak into an imaginative noble quest to vanquish the dragon, so there was no room for misery. If Pete tired of Huey’s persistent demand for attention, he didn’t really show it. For my part, I secretly, and not so secretly, enjoyed Pete’s pleasure in my son. I think Huey and I both are going to really miss Pete for a long time to come.
I think of Avery and of other girls I know who lost their fathers early in life. Here is a beautiful reflection from Caroline Langston, that was aired on NPR the day before yesterday (August 14). I offer it here with the thought that it might be of value or inspiration for someone else, as it was for me.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12785569
We’ll try our best, Pete.
In peace,
Ben J
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lindsaynohl
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 12:21pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I got out of the Wind Rivers off of a course just last Wednesday. One of the first handful of people I saw was Pete. I remember him walking up to me and giving me a big hug and asking me how the course went. I was instantly reminded of what a caring person he was and how exited I was for him in his new job at NOLS RM. Then later that day I was sitting in his new office for the first time chatting with him, Evan Horn and Gary about rockfall in the Winds, a conversation that seems just downright eerie to me now. These memories of the last few times I talked to Pete are etched in my mind, as is his warm and mischevous smile. It is so inspriational to read all of these posts, to hear more about the kind of man that Pete was and how much that he loved you and Avery. I wish I had gotten to know him better. I do know that I will take the memory of him and how he lived his life and use it to inspire me to live mine to the fullest. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Avery, your families and Steve. I am truly, truly sorry for your loss.
Lindsay Nohl
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Crag
Trad climber
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Aug 16, 2007 - 01:41pm PT
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Dear Molly & Avery,
I'm a nobody climber who while attending D&E College discovered Seneca Rocks. My memory of Peter is faint other than when he would approach me while up on the rocks. No telling where it would be North Peak, West Face, East Face, Broadway or Luncheon ledges He would talk to me just to see how I and my partner were doing. Offer up a bit of advice; show us a better way of rigging anchors or the like, we we’re just starting to tackle some of the multi-pitch routes at the time. Perhaps out scant rack and wayward look made us appear a bit noobish. He was always smiling and very helpful especially when he saw me going for my first 5.10…wearing my new Fire rock shoes. He is one I looked up to along with the others that made up the original Gendarme crew. I’m very sorry for your lose and my prayers and thoughts are with you and Avery.
Sincerely,
Scott
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Scott Richards
Trad climber
Louisville, CO
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:04pm PT
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Pete and I did our(NOLS)Instructor Course together in 1989 and then when he was a proctor of a semester course I had the pleasure of instructing with him for their rock climbing section. My overriding memory of Pete from both courses is of his laugh, his grace, his prowess on the rock and his passion for life. He was truly, a to the core, wonderful person. I count myself as fortunate to have spent time with Pete laughing, climbing and being outside. I have great memories of my time with Pete. My thoughts and my prayers go out to you, Molly and Avery.
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Hiangleman
Mountain climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:23pm PT
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Holly, Avery, and Peter's Family,
You are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. Words can not express what is in my heart. You all have our deepest sympathy.
Ray Price
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Clark
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:39pm PT
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Dear Molly, Avery, friends and family,
Took me a few days to gather my thoughts and move, for a few minutes, beyond the emotional gut punch of Pete's tragic accident.
I met Pete in August of 1989. I was an instructor on his NOLS Instructor's course. Thankfully for me and luckily for Pete, I was not instructing the climbing section, just the backcountry teaching section.
Man did we laughed and cut up. Pete was so wired and every joke that John Hauf or I played on him got a huge reaction. Offering him a cup of coffee with a huge pinch of pepper in it, stealing his bootlaces, and who knows what else.
I believe the hardest thing for Pete was to have our 'teaching route' go into the Cirque of the Towers. Pete was so distracted having to sit and listen to class after class with the Cirque as the backdrop. How a person can hike while constantly looking upward was beyond me. He would turn and ask, "Are you kidding? You mean we have no ropes, no rack? Look at that route man!" Disbelief at how a NOLS course could forget essential gear.
I recall commenting about Pete, as I was working with him on various HQ office projects, that Pete was a prime example of when an educator/instructor needs to know when to get out of the way and let the student shine.
Pete shined, in so many ways, for so many people. It manifested in his eyes, his laugh, and his positive energy. For me, the light generated from his heart. Pete will always shine for me, and I am positive for many, many others. I am blessed to have had numerous opportunities to stand in Pete's shining light.
Shine On Pete, Shine On
Clark Lacy
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Brad Sawtell
climber
CO
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:39pm PT
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To the friend's and family of Pete,
I just found out about Pete's accident yesterday. Wow...I am speechless. I have read so many amazing words and they still seem not good enough.
There have been so many stories about Pete and climbing, so I thought I'd throw one out about boating. This was on a SSR white water course in the mid(?) '90's. Pete was the liaison for a Spring Semester. He joined us on the last 6 days on the river. The student group and the instructor team were all having their issues. My memory is probably a bit off but I seem to remember him having everything under control and happy by the first dinner. He was so there and in the moment. He barely said anything about our issues, he facilitated a game, stood back and gave us the crooked smile we all know so well. Problems solved.
By the end of the trip, he had become not only a fine kayaker but I also felt empowered to have spent time with such a quality human.
Keep smiling Pete!
Molly and Avery, I'll be there on Sunday to give you a hug.
Brad Sawtell
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Eve Janney-Graziani
climber
Frederick, MD
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:45pm PT
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As so many have shared, I found out this tragic news last Sunday -I knew not where to start and to write and come up with an ending seemed too painful so I have just been reading~
For Pete ~
I will always remember your gentle ways and wonderful smile - You were a good friend ~ back in the day when I was too terrified to climb, you encouraged me to come along and I marveled at your lust for life and was always in such awe. You are so missed ~ may you continue to find joy and peace - God Speed
I knew Pete from High School, although we really never hung out unitl years later when I returned from Peru in 1985.
One of my fodest memories of Pete was on one of his birthdays - when I asked him what he wanted to do - the only thing Pete could come up with was to run over to a local mall where they had just put up a new parking garage and he could practice some of his climbing moves - that was Pete...
I remember camping at the base of Seneca Rocks, Big Meadows, Dolly Sods, Carderock, Great Falls... - your love for life and the outdoors was infectious - so full of joy if you could be near/on a mountain!
Pete and I lost touch for many years and only in the last 6 or 7, had we managed to catch up via email - when I would ask how his work was going, he quickly responded by sharing how wonderful life was with Molly and Avery. It was very evident that he was so in love with you both!!
You are surrounded by so much love - Pete would have had it no other way and I am sure it is he, who is encouraging all of us to share these stories with you! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Avery, your family and friends~
peace,
Eve
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Susan Brame
Social climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:46pm PT
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Dear Molly,
What a heartrending loss this is to NOLS, Lander, and most of all to you and Avery and the rest of your family. The three of you have been in my thoughts nearly constantly these past few days. Cacky and I were visiting my family when Rich called on Monday to tell me the sad news.
A few years ago, I heard someone say that the value and richness of a life has nothing to do with the number of years it spans, and that seems so applicable to Pete. If ever anyone lived this life fully, it would be him.
All you have to do is skim a few of these entries to confirm that Pete did indeed gladden the hearts of so many with whom he walked. It’s incredible and moving to sit here and read all these stories.
I so love seeing the Absolons around town, even though months go by between real conversations. Seems like I bumped into Pete a half dozen times this summer on morning runs as he was walking into the branch and I was trotting up 5th street. Always—that great smile and a warm greeting.
You and Avery will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace,
Susan Brame
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sister
Social climber
nj
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Aug 16, 2007 - 02:47pm PT
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A Follow Up from Pete's sister Martha.
First, thank you to everyone who has shared their experience with Pete. What a legacy. I sit in the Minnesota airport, waiting to fly to Denver. Our family will meet up there and then make the trip to Lander tomorrow. THe flood of memories while reading your notes is soothing, sad, painful, awesome, all at the same time. I totally know the "little grin" you all talk of, I member being so crazy scared when he dragged me up a rock in Virginia ... questioning whether these ropes really worked ... and just trusting him with all my heart. Well, twenty plus years later, I sit in an airport, hearing him in my ear ..."Just Let Go" ... trust yourself ...ya right! I can't swing my leg above my head like u can Pete! You are crazy. But I did it. I remember the feeling and have never let it go. Thanks Pete! You taught me to let go...
So, there is a Memorial Fund set up (response to the Climbing Mom..
"Peter Absolon Memorial Fund" Contribution will be used to continue the tribute of adventure and exploration that Avery shared with her father, Pete" Thanks in advance... Mart
checks to Bank of the West
303 Main Street, Lander Wyoming 82520
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Rich Brame
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 03:38pm PT
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I have a June '06 photo of Leg Lake cirque. It's a nice shot, tho' I won't post it here because I'm conflicted on the image...
In many ways Leg Lake will never be the same, but also it IS the same. The same beautiful place that drew Pete to climb and draws many of us into the Winds. The photo shows the cirque for what it is- a place of peaks, stunted trees, big walls, flowers, water, granite, snow, sunshine and a lot of and blue, blue sky.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rich_brame/171470137/
Rich Brame
Lander, Wyoming
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Pauly
Sport climber
Minnetonka MN
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Aug 16, 2007 - 03:44pm PT
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Molly and Family-
I am a friend of Bill and Mary Absolon Herber from Minneapolis.
I did not have the pleasure of knowing Pete personally. After reading a number of the posts, I realize that Pete was a good man who touched the hearts and lives of many. He has left a personal legacy that most of us might only dream of creating.
My deepest sympathy goes to you, your daughter Avery, and your family. I know you have experienced a great loss. I hope that my thoughts, and the thoughts of all the others, help ease the pain for just a little while.
Take care,
Paul Jensen
Minnetonka MN
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Emily Linton
climber
Missoula, MT
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Aug 16, 2007 - 03:47pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I am so sorry and sad to hear about your loss. My heart aches for the two of you.
My most recent memories of your family have been the times that I’ve randomly bumped into you out climbing. I remember running into you at Wild Iris. I think you had family and/or friends visiting from out of town, and you were out climbing for the day. I remember talking with my friend on the way back to Pinedale about how amazed I was by you and Pete. You seemed to be so in love and balancing life as newer parents so well. That was something, at the time, I thought was impossible.
The next summer I had found love myself. My new boyfriend (now husband), Solon, and I were on a road trip. We stopped by the RMB in Lander, and I’ll never forget seeing Pete’s smiling face. He was so warm and welcoming to me and the complete stranger with me. Immediately, Pete engaged us in conversation about life in Missoula, our trip, etc. The next thing I know Pete and Solon had made climbing plans to go up to Sinks Canyon after work. Sure enough Pete took Solon up to Sinks and they had a great afternoon climbing.
It’s unbelievable reading about how many lives Pete has touched!
Molly, I can’t even begin to imagine the loss that you and Avery are feeling. I don’t think there is anyway Avery will forget about her truly amazing Dad. I’m so glad that you have such an awesome community of friends in Lander to support you. Our thoughts are with you as we are sending love and strength from Missoula. Emily Yeomans
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C.Monz
climber
Logan
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Aug 16, 2007 - 03:50pm PT
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Molly,
Our hearts are broken at this sad news. You and Pete were good friends and neighbors during my years in Lander for which I will always be grateful. I remember sportclimbing at Wild Iris, working together, comparing notes on house projects. It is impossible to imagine what you must be going through. We send all of our love and support to you and Avery and hope that you find solice in Pete's life and accomplishments--a life we all could only hope to live.
Chris Monz and Wyatt Lutsk
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ccl
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 04:16pm PT
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A Memorial Fund has been established for Peter and Molly's daughter Avery.
Checks can be made out to 'The Peter Absolon Memorial Fund' and mailed to:
Bank of the West
303 Main St
Lander, WY 82520
Proceeds will be utilized to continue the tradition of adventure and exploration that Avery shared with her father.
Thank you for remembering Pete and reaching out to help Molly and Avery!
(I realize this reiterates mostly what Pete's sister Martha posted, but I wanted to make sure it was easily seen by all, not missed in a post including other thoughts.)
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Jack Rechcigl
climber
Bradenton, Florida
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Aug 16, 2007 - 04:18pm PT
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I was shocked to learn the tragic news about Pete. My family and I have been good friends with Pete and the Absolons since I first met Pete in Junior High School in Rockville, Maryland. Pete was a very special and amazing person. As has been mentioned numerous times I will not forget Pete's smile and grin! He was always so full of life and truely did live life to the fullest. He was was indeed a very fun, kind and positive person. I will always remember all the fun we had camping, climbing, hiking and scouting. It is quite clear from all the postings that Pete touched the lives of many people around the country in a very postive and inspiring way. I am greatful for having had the opportunity to be friends with Pete and will certainly never forget him.
Jack Rechcigl
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JRG
climber
Cherry Hill, NJ
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Aug 16, 2007 - 04:38pm PT
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Molly, Avery, and the entire Absolon family,
Molly you probably don’t remember me, we met briefly a few years ago while you and Peter were on vacation in Long Beach Island, NJ. I am truly sorry to hear about Peter. My prayers are with you and Avery. Peter was a part of my adopted family and we have known each other since June 1974 when I started a co-op assignment at the National Weather Service. I was away from home, lonely and did not know anybody my age in Rockville Md. The Absolon’s treated me as if I were part of the family. Mary, Fritz and I were close in age and in college while John and Peter were not far behind in high school. Martha was the little sister.
I have nothing but happy memories of that time and Peter played a staring role. I have read many of the posting and several people make reference to his mischievous smile. I know it well….in fact, I was the victim of several of his pranks. In the fall of 1974 Dr. and Mrs.Absolon wanted to go away for the week. Mary and Fritz were off at college. A neighbor offered to take care of Martha. The Absolons asked if I would spend the week at the house to look after the house..and...John and Peter. Thinking…what could go wrong, I agreed. On the first day I came home from work, went to the kitchen sink to get a drink and proceeded to get hosed with a stream of water on my face and chest. The lovely children had tied a rubber band around the trigger of the hand sprayer, carefully aimed it to hit a 6' 1" person and then waited for me to come home. By the time I realized what had happened, the cherubs were on the floor laughing. On another evening I was exiting the shower getting ready for a date when Peter and John ran in and sprayed my legs with, what I thought was shaving cream. When I went back to the shower to rinse it off…all of the hair on my lower legs was missing. It was not shaving cream..but a foam hair removal called Nair.
I first saw Peter's love for the outdoors later the next year when, on a visit to the Absolons, Peter excitedly ran upstairs to his bedroom to retrieve his most recent purchase. It was a portable lightweight tent designed for hiking. He then proceeded to assemble it right there on the living room floor and climbed in.
My heart will be with all of you when you celebrate Peter's life this weekend. I wish I could be there. While I never had the honor of really knowing Peter as an adult, from what I am reading here, he developed into an incredibly fine man.
John Galie
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shannon jones
climber
slc
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Aug 16, 2007 - 05:04pm PT
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My best friend died in a similarly tragic climbing accident two years ago. The sudden loss seemed to cause time and space to stop. Life seemed so diminished without him. It seemed so unfair, really, to have lost such a wonderful, powerful and genuinely caring soul. It sounds as though Pete Absolon was indeed one of those forceful and sensitive men, as well.
After his death, I reevaluated my priorities and my life, in general. With such heavy grief and utter despair, I made a committment to myself to live more mindfully and with more clarity and purpose. I decided to do some things I had always wanted to do and never had because I had thought to myself, "I can always do it later" but I realized that is not always possible. I took the money I'd been saving for five years as a downpayment on a house and I enrolled in a NOLS semester. I took a Semester in the Rockies and was lucky enough to have met Pete who passed by with an inexplicably happy "hello" in the hallway at the RM. It was very brief. But, the experiences that I had at NOLS have changed my perspective on life as a whole. I can only imagine that Pete had a huge impact on much of the culture and the family at NOLS and, in turn, on my life. I feel my decision to take a semester course will be the highest return on an investment that I will ever have in my life.
For Pete's family and friends, and Molly in particular, I can only express my most sincere prayers on your behalf. Where do you go from here? What do you do now? I suppose you hold onto your friends and family and tell them how much they mean to you and you rely on that love to carry you through so many memories and so much heartache.
The stories of Pete's intensity and family- and friend-motivated intentions reminded me of a quote from "Peace Is Every Step" by Thich Nhat Hanh. It sounds like his life and your life together was very joyous and filled with peace. I pray that you have that peace now.
"Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.
Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We don't have to travel far away to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to leave our city or even our neighborhood to enjoy the eyes of a beautiful child. Even the air we breathe can be a source of joy.
We can smile, breathe, walk and eat our meals in a way that allows us to be in touch with the abundance of happiness that is available. We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive. Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy and serenity. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment...Peace and happiness are available in every moment. Peace is every step. We shall walk hand in hand."
Shannon Jones
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hillary spizzirri mcatee
Boulder climber
greenwich,ct
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Aug 16, 2007 - 05:29pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I have not stopped thinking of you ever since Cornilia shared the tragic accident of Pete. I wish I could be beside you to hold you & comfort you.
Although we haven't talked in awhile I thought of you & Pete so much in July. John & I hiked to Crestted Butte from Aspen and our guide was a mutual acquaitance, Tim Shortell. I regret that I didn't call to let you know that you were on my mind. Being in the mountains will always remind me of you and Pete.
I pray that with each passing day your agonizing pain will soften and that beautiful memories of Pete will replace your paralyzing sadness.
All my love, Hillary Spizzirri McAtee
(Kent school friend & roommate
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Maggie Shelton
climber
Austin, Texas
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Aug 16, 2007 - 05:53pm PT
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Reading these threads brings back so many memories. I met Pete over 30 something years ago, but have not been in contact for probably 8 years. The pictures show he hardly changed since we were kids. That mischievous grin and happy eyes. Such a passionate, loving, caring person. So full of life and love. So patient. So funny. So giving. It is wonderful to read he never changed.
I have so many memories of Pete. Hanging out with him and Mark and Brian. Playing pool in the basement of the Absolon’s home in Rockville. Laughing through Saturday Night Live episodes. Buying a quart of ice cream and driving around in the family convertible. I remember when Pete first took up climbing. He always loved the outdoors, and he was drawn to conquering those climbs at Carter Rock. I watched from below with admiration, and the occasional thought that he was a little crazy!
Pete went to college at GW in DC, climbing buildings in his spare time. He was going to major in engineering, but changed it to geology because he loved rock climbing. He went on to work at Seneca Rocks teaching and leading climbs for the Gendarme. He loved that place, and it was obvious the people there loved him. He used to remark that each morning, as he drove to the Gendarme, Seneca never looked the same. It was always more beautiful.
I remember meeting Molly and seeing how much Pete loved her. They shared a love of the outdoors in addition to each having such beautiful smiles and sparkling eyes. Their wedding on the mountain was lovely and full of love. Pete had married his soul mate, and it was beautiful. I was so happy to hear about the arrival of Avery. A child from Molly and Pete would definitely be a charm. The stories prove that to be so.
I am very sad that Pete is gone. I keep thinking I am done crying, but then my heart aches for Molly and Avery. So, I try to think of Pete ascending that big Seneca in the sky. Ripples of his love and generosity flowing out. Each of us taking what we have learned from knowing Pete and giving to others. He is still with us all. In our memories and our hearts.
My heart will be with you all on Sunday. Maggie
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maryj
Social climber
salt lake city, UT
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Aug 16, 2007 - 06:17pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery
I went for a hike this morning to a little summit called Mt Aire in the Wasatch in honor of Pete. I didn’t see anyone the whole way up, on the summit, or on the way down. I devoted my hike to thinking of all the big and small memories I have of Pete…the one that I keep seeing is one that showed me the wonderfully devoted husband and proud dad side of Pete, I think Hutch already described the same memory to you in a prior posting.
It was one of those warm, early-evenings when the light in Lander blasted across your slickrock bench. I listened to Pete tell his whole circle of friends how much he loved you and Avery and how important his family was to his being happy in the world. Hairs on my arm stood up… so devoted, loyal, loving, and personal -- a side of Pete I tucked away in my memory, the one I keep coming back to now.
I wanted to tell you Molly that your family has always inspired me to have a family of my own someday…seeing how it could be done with so much good energy and balance. I will remember how devoted Pete was to keeping his family together as a team, how devoted he was to the people at NOLS he connected with daily, how devoted he was to living his life in balance, getting outside, being in the mountains, and doing all of this as much as he could with you and Avery…what an inspiration.
The imprint Pete made during his lifetime will travel forward in the hearts of so many people. Molly, know that you won’t have to carry his memory forward alone, there will be so many of us to help you along the way.
Mary Jensen
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cml
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
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Aug 16, 2007 - 06:38pm PT
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To Molly, Avery, and the rest of Pete's family,
I vividly remember Pete as my program supervisor on my first CL back in 1997. During our debriefing I remember how amazed I was at how well he understood what our course was like. He was so insightful and so interested to hear us tell our story. He was such a patient listener and so tactful and direct at giving feedback. And of course, he made us all laugh- even when we looked back at some of the difficult moments on the course. I remember walking away from that debriefing feeling so inspired to improve as an instructor,so excited to be alive, and so pumped to be part of such an amazing organization. Thanks Pete.
Amidst the deep sorrow I have been feeling these past several days as I have reflected on my memories of Pete, I have found so much inspiration in the stories and gratitude that have been shared. I am so moved by the positive impact that Pete has made on all of us. It has re-kindled my desire to keep living a life full of adventure, challenge, passion, and commitment to making a difference in the world. Once again, thanks Pete.
Our love goes out to all of you,
Chris Lay (and Elizabeth, Laurel, and Brooke)
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Paul Koubek
climber
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Aug 16, 2007 - 07:06pm PT
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How fortunate we all are to have been influenced by Pete...
Many people have been commenting on his impressive role as a family man and climber... we knew him mostly as a colleague, and our memories of him stem from this. He was an example of genuine integrity and thoughtful support. He stood in that tricky position between upper administration and field instructors at NOLS, and balanced the two artfully. His communication was clear and simple. He wasn't afraid to say no, when it needed to be said. He was easy to admire and feel good about working with.
In March of 2002 I (Paul) worked a canyon course with Steve Hurlihy and Dave Bragg. Pete debriefed us. I remember Steve, obviously impressed, during the course telling us stories of climbing with Pete on the RM mountaineering seminar the previous fall, of Pete sending hard in his approach shoes and listening to a football game on his radio at belay stations ("Dallas, by 7!") Pete unflapped by hard climbing, calm in steep terrain. Pete's debrief at the diner in Richfield was simple, straightforward, graceful. Pete and Molly were just getting used to having Avery in their life - the loaner 5th wheel trailer that they brought to Richfield was as much of a new addition as the baby herself.
It is striking how his living style has inspired so many others to aspire to greater heights. Even in just reading all the notes posted, this is clear.
May we carry forward in positivity and gratitude.
Molly and Avery, and families, we wish you courage and strength.
Steve, our thoughts are with you as well - what a horror to live through.
With tears in our hearts,
Paul Koubek & Rey Johnston
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Mattie
climber
Jackson, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 07:37pm PT
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Dear Molly,
How wonderful to often find you and Pete at the base of a climb in Sinks Canyon on a winters day through the years...to watch you grow your beautiful family.
How lucky to have found you this past June on a Sunday morning at the North Country.
And to get to spend a little time getting to know Avery as we read books with our young sons whilst trading time on the rock.
How very great to see you and Pete still cranking, still laughing, cajoling and extorting each other on to great heights and so much laughter.
How fun to feel the warmth and brilliant energy of your beautiful family unit.
We are sending our love to you and Avery to all of Pete's and your families.
Love Mattie, Rex, Alexander, & Lucas
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Tony B'
Social climber
Boulder
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Aug 16, 2007 - 09:40pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I learned about Pete Monday night and found Terri’s posting soon after that. Each day since, I’ve returned to this thread hoping that other people’s words might help me find my own way to express my feelings and thoughts for you and Avery. It’s been a long while since I saw you and Pete last (Christine’s memorial?) and even that time and distance doesn’t seem to have softened the sadness or loss I’ve been feeling—the slightest echo of what you must be feeling.
Even though Pete and I began our work at NOLS at roughly the same time, we never worked in the field together, and I never got to know him well. What I remember about Pete from time I shared with him in-town or at the RMB before or after courses was this:
I remember the first time I met him my first thought was something like “This guy Pete, seems like a pretty nice guy; a little goofy maybe, but a nice guy.” I remember thinking that he always seemed to have a smile on his face and wondering what he was so darned happy about. Looking back, I think this was probably an optical illusion. I do remember him smiling a lot, but I also remember Pete being serious or curious or puzzled. I think he had a lightness of spirit and just a joy of being with people that could make it seem like he was smiling when he really wasn’t. I remember that his laugh would catch me a little off guard—surprising because I’d find myself laughing with him even if a moment before I wasn’t especially seeing the humor in the situation. I remember thinking that he was as comfortable in his own skin as anyone I’d ever known.
I didn’t know Pete as a dad, but it takes no effort for me to imagine that he was absolutely excellent at it. I’m so sad for Avery, but also really happy that as she grows up, she’ll be surrounded by people who loved and cared about Pete so deeply—in ways that are going to allow her to continue to get to know and discover new things about her dad for years to come.
Molly, I’m so sorry. Know that you, Avery, and all of Pete’s friends and family who have been suffering this week, you have been and will continue to be in my thoughts.
With love and sadness,
Tony Barreiro
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MWhite
Social climber
Lander
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Aug 16, 2007 - 10:37pm PT
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A FEW MORE DETAILS FOR THE SERVICE
Pete’s service will begin as close to 3 pm as possible.
Please arrive with enough lead time to park, make a name tag, drop off food and walk to the service location
Drinks will be available prior to service; food will be served after the service
Music will begin as the eating winds down. As Michael Cheek succinctly said: Of course there's not enough time in a single weekend to celebrate a life as big and vibrant as Pete's, but we'll do our best.
You are welcome to stay and enjoy the camaraderie as long as you care to.
And please, please PLEASE take the time to visit the memory room and drop off photos and write your own tales on how Pete was an inspirational figure in your life. Our stories, rich with details of Pete’s adventurous spirit, compassion, intellect and humor will be a lasting legacy for Avery.
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Melissa Gray
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 16, 2007 - 11:18pm PT
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Dear Avery,
I was so sad to hear about your Dad's accident. I want you to know that even though I won't be at the North School next year I will still be your friend. If you ever need a buddy to read stories or just to hang out with you can always ask me.
love, Zach
Dear Molly,
We are so infinitely sad to hear of Pete's accident. We are far from Lander right but please tell Avery we will release some flowers for Pete into the Pacific as we remember him so that the ocean can carry part of his spirit, too.
We will think warm happy thoughts and smile through our tears.
Love, Melissa and Tony
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MWhite
Social climber
Lander
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Aug 16, 2007 - 11:19pm PT
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It's hard to think of memories of Pete. Of course that's due to my immense sadness, but also due to the fact that I knew Pete primarily as part of a synergistic being known as Petenmolly, or alternately Mollynpete (admittedly, there were times I got dyslexic and they were Metenpolly.)
Pete and Molly were a dynamic duo of athleticism, hospitality, adventure, and community. I mean come on, who ELSE but Petenmolly would climb the Guide's Wall when Molly was 6 months pregnant?!?!
And then they became the terrific trio with the addition of Avery, and it was love at first sight for Pete. Pete made parenting look so easy. I guess it's because for him it WAS easy-- he was smitten with Avery every step of the way and he loved being a dad. Being a dad was a role tat allowed Pete to wrap together so many of his interests and talents: teaching, mentoring, love of the natural world, exploration, creativity, finding and creating joy.
I do though, have a few memories of Pete to share as highlights of his indomitable sense of humor.
Several years ago, a group of us Lander gals were getting together for a ladies evening. A coworker heard about this and dubbed it a "skirt party." We liked that, so in addition to good food and copious amounts of wine, we all wore skirts. A couple hours later, while we were having a marvelous time, the phone rang. It was the guys who were left behind, who had gathered at the house Mollynpete were renting. They were bored out of their minds and begged, 'please, couldn't we join you?' We caved in and said OK, but reminded them it was a skirt party, so they had to wear skirts if they wanted to be let in.
About 30 minutes later, apparently after Pete lead the charge into Molly's half of the closet, Pete and a group of guys showed up dressed in skirts. Pete thought it was hilarious that all these tough climbers were strutting around in Molly's clothes. I am not sure what Molly's opinion about that was (although she did comment that some of them looked better in the outfits than she did).
I hope someone has photos from that party to bring to the service.
A few of us found out a couple of Thanksgivings ago, while at the West Yellowstone ski camps, that Pete didn't quite have the knack for precise skate skiing. As we were being sorted for lesson groups by skating V2 alternate, the teaching staff watched Pete ski by and said, "We have no idea what on earth that skiing technique is. It's obviously effective because he's cruising, but we've never seen that before." Pete was put into the other group, and since we had all watched Harry Potter the night before, we teased him about having been sorted into the Slytherin lesson group. He just laughed his Pete cackle, cried out something about Lord Voldemort, and skied off at lightning speed doing what has come to be known as The VAbsolon.
On a more serious note, I so admire Pete's ability to be gracious with everyone, to be graceful in all actions, to be curious and full of wonder and appreciation, to be thoughtful, to be humble, to be generous, to be genuine.
Pete was a gem of a human, and I am grateful to have witnessed his love of life, of Molly, of Avery. I think we all stood a little taller, smiled a little longer, and loved a little better because we were influenced by Pete.
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climbluedog
Trad climber
AZ
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Aug 17, 2007 - 01:40am PT
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Gratitude to Molly and Avery and Pete for a shared evening of climbing, a good meal and great conversation a few short days before Pete was gone- I felt like an old friend, and we had just met that day!! Sigh.......Lisa E.- CA/AZ
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Scott Kane
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 17, 2007 - 04:40am PT
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Dearest Molly and Avery,
Words to describe my sadness at the loss of my very good friend are slow to come. Your loss of father and partner is more than anyone should need to bear.
I have come to treasure my time with Pete more and more with the passing of the years. Each time I was with him there was some surprise, some new opinion, a different angle on something I took for granted. I always looked forward to hearing his view on a new topic.
The three of you have been a role model to our similarly constructed family. Michelle and I often note your adventures and say "hey, we should be out doing that too". You are so warm, so devoted, so welcoming, so fun to be with.
Avery, I think you know it already but you have an incredible pair of parents. You had the great luck not only to get two incredible people as a mom and dad but to get two incredible people who loved being with each other. With your dad gone your mom will be even more important in your life. Remember that you need to take care of her too.
I lost my father a long time ago. After his death I figured his influence in my life had come to an end. I was wrong though. It has been twenty years now but I still keep his memory close, wonder what advice he would give at difficult times and imagine what it would be like for him to be looking on in happy moments. He is never far away, even after a lot of years.
Avery and Molly, please know that you are part of our family, that you are welcome in our home and our life at any time. We want and expect that you will share your joys and sadnesses with us. I will miss my brother Pete but keeping you two close will help.
I love you both,
Scott
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 17, 2007 - 05:13am PT
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It is early in the morning and us Absolons spent the night in Denver before making our way to Lander. I can't sleep and just had to come to this blog site. The stories are comforting to know my brother's life - hearing the stories/experiences are the best and just bring smiles to our face. Thanks to everyone.
We all ate dinner last night together and toasted our dear brother/son/uncle Pete. Pete's nephew, Chris Herber, back from Alaska NOLS course is telling Alaska stories and about the great NOLS experience. Pete is smiling.
Our dear family friend and personal friend of Mom's, Frances Perry Finney, is with us. She said, "I had to be here." She said she would forgive Pete even though he was a Duke fan!
We are overwhelmed with this out pouring of support and thank you from our hearts for all you are doing for our families.
Mary, Pete's sister
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hasbeen
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 17, 2007 - 10:24am PT
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To those of you who have posted memories and encouraging words of love and humor on this site: thank you. Molly, later joined by her sister Ann, have pored over the entries at our house - sometimes several times a day, always before going to bed, always crying, always appreciative.
Molly is nothing short of terrified that Avery will forget Pete. Your efforts help to allay her fears - and who wouldn't want to. She is such a class act - swiftly switching from sweat drenched biking or running or riding clothes to a skimpy cocktail dress, freshly showered and beautiful. Pete openly loved her so. So do we.
Perhaps to protect my heart, I am choosing to focus on the funny side of Pete - like his incredulous and amused expression while crouching on the roadside by his and Molly's Prius on a return trip from our final trip to White Pine. A BUNNY had just taken a dinner platter sized chunk out of the car. We couldn't stop laughing.
Molly - you will always be our dear friend, and Avery - Emma and Zoe will always be your sisters. Forever.
Maggie
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Joe Hepp
Social climber
Kennebunkport ME
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Aug 17, 2007 - 10:45am PT
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Molly and Avery-I never had the pleasure to meet your loving husband and father, but sure wish I had!!!My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Dirtboy
Social climber
Cortez, Colorado
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Aug 17, 2007 - 11:52am PT
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I'm not a climber anymore, just a old climber with bad knees turned boater. I have had the gift to know Pete for all the years him and Molly lived in Lander and worked for NOLS. To know Pete was a gift. His smile warmed you, his grin made you wonder what was going on in his mind; something mischievous for sure. There was no kinder man.
One day, a few years ago, I went up to Sinks Canyon after work with a friend to climb Gunky, a beautiful 5.8 classic. There was Pete already on the climb, soloing up then down, with the grace of a artist. For Pete, probably some exercise or just the love of being on the rock.
There will be a void in all our hearts now without Pete; especially in Molly's and Avery's heart. We who knew him can find the joy of once knowing him and that he will be remembered in our hearts and minds forever.
Larry
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BMorley
Social climber
Boulder
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Aug 17, 2007 - 12:21pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I am so glad I saw you in Boulder a few weeks ago with Pete. I have some special feelings about the three of you that I hold close from your short visit. I never of course guessed that visit would come to mean so much.
I know Pete, Molly and Avery because my husband, Andrew, is a college friend of Molly’s. Pete and Molly long ago took Andrew and me for “a little hike” that turned out to be our first climbing experience in West Virginia. You were great teachers and motivators, turning that little hike into what I thought was quite a climb. Years later, in Wyoming, you two taught our three boys how to climb. Little Avery looked on happily as her mom and dad gave themselves to our boys.
As it happened, Andrew took the boys to Michigan a few weeks ago, so I was able to host Peter, Molly and Avery for a short night before Molly did the triathlon in Boulder. Because it was just the four of us, I got to see just what a great family the three of you have. Having all boys, it was a delight being around a little girl.
That Saturday evening, I was struck by how much fun both of you were having as parents to Avery. Pete clearly loved seeing Avery in her play as much as he loved climbing. He told me one story of Avery’s trying out for a play and not being chosen. As Pete told me, on the way home, he cried. Avery, of course, was fine.
What is so clear to me is that Pete will be missed in so many ways. What I saw in both of you in that visit is a lot of Pete. Molly, you are strong and capable and have so many talents; I know that Pete was with you riding up that hill during the triathlon just as he will be with you tomorrow and next year. He’ll be with you through Avery’s many accomplishments and her disappointments. I think I told you in Boulder how much of Pete I see in Avery already; her smile, her look. She’s determined and smart and will probably have much of Pete’s fearlessness.
With fond memories of Pete and lots of love and hugs,
Becky
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Tim Lindholm
Social climber
Snowmass, CO
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Aug 17, 2007 - 01:46pm PT
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Molly...Hi, trying to lift my heart up this morning, got to keep it shining towards those mountains, towards you and Avery and Pete. I feel sad and sorry, but all I need to do is think of your bright smile and Pete's sexy grin to remind me what happiness looks like, all the time, right now. Here are a few memories that continue to insprire me and make it hard not to keep looking back.
I first met Pete in July 1990 through your stories under the Thelma fly. Stories you told while you, Hodge, Wally, and I worked that course in the Bighorns. Who was this lucky man who inspired you to smile so big, who inspired you to tell us glowing stories about how he won your heart? I can still remember your road head fever, your fever to get out of the field and back to this man.
Pete was such a big part of my time at NOLS. Later that fall I worked with Pete in Nevada at Lehman caves. He was so patient, so goofy, so proficient, so fun. You instantly knew this was someone you could trust, someone you wanted to spend time with, someone who could show you how to rap into a cave off the front axle of the truck, someone who kept talking about Molly.
Then the winter came, and I got to camp and ski with both you and Pete in the Wyoming Range. Everyone was checking you two out, at least I was. Can you be married and have this much fun too? In any weather, during any face plant, Pete was so stalwart, funny, patient with you, "unflappable" as Phil noted.
Finally, there was the climbing. The climbing world is full of very accomplished, solid, experienced practitioners. Pete is all that and more, he was a model for how to teach climbing, how to included it in your life. He was a mentor to me. He could take three students up almost anything before lunch. He balanced confidence, strength, and almost unbridled enthusiasm with uncompromising attention to safety, restraint, and respect for the natural surroundings.
I am a lucky man to have had my time in Wyoming so full of Absolons. Thank you Pete for those indelible nuggets of life. I refer to them often now with two boys also wild for the mountains, for adventure. I trust that Avery's countless days in and outdoors with her dad will remain indelible too.
Heartfelt love to you Molly, Avery, Steve, and family,
Tim
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emilie
climber
colorado
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Aug 17, 2007 - 01:46pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I don't have any great stories to share, but after reading these postings I truly regret that. I knew Pete as a co-worker at NOLS, but from afar. I was in the finance department and we interacted occasionally in meetings and on various budget and financial issues. During those infrequent interactions my impressions of Pete were always positive and he was definitely someone that I wished to know better. He always seemed to have such integrity and I couldn't help but notice the respect that others had for him- he just seemed like such a joyful spirit.
Working at NOLS and living in Lander for so many years, I was also aware of the strong bond between the two and then the three of you. It was something you didn't have to witness up close- it was obvious even from a distance. As others have mentioned there has always been a glow of happiness and love that surrounds you all.
I am so very sorry about this tragedy and Pete's death and I send you much love and heart healing energy.
Emilie
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scott smalley
climber
boston
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Aug 17, 2007 - 03:48pm PT
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Dear Molly,
Very sad to learn of Pete's passing. I was the young instructor- Pete the seasoned climber that sat me down the night before my first lead with students in the Winds on my first mountaineering course in 1992. Without pretense, or reproach, he asked about my experience, my technique for rope management, my decision if the weather turned foul. He was deciding, could I trust him with students. He then so nicely laid out suggestions for the "what ifs". With tact and skill, he instructed me on improvements to my student management, offered a new way to rope up the students on the belay ledges, reviewed the rack I had choosen, pulling out a few pieces and adding some extras.
He was from then on, to be a mentor that I could trust and someone I turned to for friendship and advice. Later in the course, I pulled a rock loose on lead with students. It landed on my foot and broke my toe. Pete organized the evac, directed the students in building a litter. All the while, never judging me, saying this was a great learning experience for the group. They had the litter ready and someone suggested to test it. Instantly, the student in the litter fell to the ground, surrounded by pieces of sticks, backpack frame parts and webbing. A huge smile crossed Pete's face. "Okay, lets try again-this time with more webbing".
As I progressed in my training as an instructor, Pete was there for guidance, advice and humor. Offering his mountain skills with that innate sense of good judgment and decisive decision making. A foundation for how to instruct and lead a group was laid down on that course that lasted me for many years, and I hope was passed on to my students. Pete's impact was wide. His talents are now in all of us that spent time with him. May you cherish these memories, and continue to build new ones with those that love him.
My thoughts are with you on the day of celebration,
Scott Smalley
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rogeryim
climber
nelson bc.
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Aug 17, 2007 - 04:14pm PT
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It is always hard to come back from an extended time in the wilderness and find out news of a friend and mentor's passing.
First it is shock, then it is sadness and the endless questioning of why and how come. I have great sorrow and understanding for Molly, Avery and all the friends and family that surrounded Pete's life.
My parents taught me a person can be judged by three things. There dedication to work, the joy for life and above all the love they give to their loved ones.
Pete was a hero and mentor of mine in all of these things. He would spend time with me coaching and giving advice on the struggles of work and life. He would listen and always work hard to find a solution. For eight years he has been a role model for me as a loving parent, climber and a true leader at his workplace.
Before I got on plane for Alaska I joked around with pete. He had a few quick remarks about Canadians and why I wasn't canoeing, skiing or playing hockey. I helped him with using a bear fence since he was going out in the field for a few days to fill a hole in staffing. After some more banter Pete looked at me and said a whole hearted thanks for working this summer and I responded with appreciation of the leadership he was going to bring to the RMB. I wished I could have said more....but you never realize how finite life is till someone we care and love for leaves.
I am sure wherever Pete is....he would want us to have joy, work hard in all our passions and ultimately love the people we care about.
On sunday I hope it can be a time for support, care and a celebration of a wonderful and loving father, friend and colleague.
My heart goes out to all those who have cared and loved Pete.
yours.
roger
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 17, 2007 - 05:31pm PT
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Once again I'm at the computer reading these posts. It's kind of an addiction I guess but it helps me. Thanks to everyone for the calls, the posts, the flowers, the fairies and special flowers for Avery, the food, the toilet paper, the recycling runs, everything....
And most of all thanks for the memories.
Scott Smalley, I remember that winter course we all worked. Do you recall that night you were in the kitchen qhinzee cooking while Pete, Greg C and I lounged in our bags throwing our bowls down the tube for seconds until you finally lost it and said something about not being our short-order cook? I can still picture Greg with the radio antenna on his teeth insisting it gave us better reception while we listened for a game or whatever it was we were trying to hear to keep us entertained.
And I have to smile when I think of those of you who talk about Pete's goofy haircuts, his dorky workout outfits, and the funny way he danced—he just didn't care what people thought about that kind of stuff, you know? He was so in his skin, so unaffected by what others thought of him, so focused that sometimes it drove me bonkers— most of the time it drove me to be better, to try harder, and to live each day to its fullest.
So now I am staring at this blank thing called the future wondering how to carry on his legacy and live it to its fullest without him. It's hard...I loved him more than I ever knew.
But you all are helping me.
molly
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Andy Blair
climber
Lander
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Aug 17, 2007 - 07:13pm PT
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Hi Avery,
This posting is for you, just in case I don't get to share this information with you or you come back to read these postings some time in the future.
Your Dad was one of my best friends. He was one of the best guys I have ever known. I know that isn't news to you but I just wanted to let you know how I felt.
He and I worked and played together for over a decade. As another friend of ours put it, your dad was always willing to carry the heaviest pack or lead the hardest pitch and he was always psyched about whatever he was doing. He motivated us all to push ourselves and do our best. He showed us how to handle adversity with a smile on our faces and an open mind.
I watched him for years in challenging office jobs around NOLS. He had an amazing ability to smooth over conflicts while making people feel that their concerns had been heard. He took feedback remarkably well and managed people better than just about anyone I know.
I will never forget him. He gave me a lot. If you ever need a hand with anything just give me a call. I owe him.
Andy
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Jacki Klancher
climber
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Aug 17, 2007 - 07:36pm PT
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While it is impossible for any one person to attempt to sum up the life of another, the input of hundreds of people brings together the complex pieces of the puzzle that is a life. This life: lived to its fullest, filled with love for Molly and Avery, joy for friends and an appreciation for anything physically challenging will be a presence so sorely missed.
Pete was with Andy and I shortly after we had met, and the night before we left for the field to work a course in the Canyons. Pete had decided that he needed to lay it on pretty thick when describing the virtues of his buddy Andy. “Listen to that guy,’ he said, “what other guy is going to know that amount of trivia about boxelder beetles-he knows a lot of stuff.” Well, with that ringing testimony I was sold.
Pete was also a pragmatist. Briefing my team at the RM in 1996, Pete decided that given we were pretty shy on soft backpacks, it was probably best that I provide good mentorship by carrying an external frame pack like the students. When I told this to Andy (noting that I had never carried an external frame backpack in my life, and really one hopes not to), you can imagine the raucous giggles that ensued. Andy assured me that I should definitely tell Pete that I would not be able to carry such a behemoth.
And as for an athlete like Pete cheerfully waiting for 5 month pregnant me to catch up with he and Andy whilst skating the loop road two winters ago-just further testimony to what a wonderful adventure companion and a great friend he was to both Andy and I.
So much love to you Molly and Avery.
Jacki Klancher
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James Piccone
climber
Salt Lake City
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Aug 17, 2007 - 08:13pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I am so sorry for your loss. Sue and I have been trying to get our hearts and head around the sadness and unfathomable tragedy.
I have fond memories of Pete from the admissions office as well as the field. I am not a climber. But somehow, despite that fact, I found myself working a WMT with Pete back in ’92. By the end of the course, I could climb with confidence. Not only did I learn so much from him, but I had the privilege to work along side a generous and caring man. He was a joy to converse with. I was witness to the liter building exercise for Scott. There was only a week or so to go on the course. Once the students left on their small group expedition, Pete and I fished our hearts out. Any piece of water we came across, no matter the size, Pete would drop his pack, assemble his rod and fish away. His passion for all aspects of the outdoors was evident. Needless to say, we had fish every night for dinner.
The astonishing richness of Pete was beautiful. Everyone who crossed his path is a better person because of him. I read these entries and I am inspired by the man he was, his selfless nature, how he treated others and his love for life and his family. Pete has set a new height on the bar that I one day hope to aspire to.
If there ever was a community to deal with this tragedy and to provide support to you and your families, it's the NOLS/Lander community. May you and Avery find comfort and peace from those around you. I celebrate his life.
With our deepest love and sympathy,
James and Sue Piccone
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newAAC
Trad climber
Denver, Colorado
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Aug 17, 2007 - 09:25pm PT
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Hi Molly and Avery,
Here are a few thoughts about Pete.
-Pete was a climber's climber. Anyone would have been happy to tie in to his rope. He instilled confidence in others and he made all his partners climb just a little better.
-Pete drove me crazy with his ability to climb hard--consistently--while never missing a beat with his family or his work.
--Pete was kind of a nerd. He could totally program a VCR. In fact, he ran his VCR like most guys aspire to run a Maserati.
--Speaking of the VCR, Pete sort of had it all. He'd be up at the crag having a great day and then he would go home to a completely unspoiled session watching the Cowboys. Not to mention that he got to go home to Molly, Avery and his own climbing gym.
--And about that gym? Raise your hand if you gave Pete $250 for the gym he built in his own garage? Can you say "Tom Sawyer with an MBA?"
--Oh, and back to that inane obsession with the Cowboys. He never wavered in his devotion to "America's team." Kind of nerdy in my opinion (then...I'm from Oklahoma).
--And what was up with that devotion--to EVERYTHING he believed in? He would talk conservation like the rest of us and then he and Molly would actually show up in a Prius. I'm pretty sure they had the first fluorescent light bulb I ever saw.
--Devotion is just a nice way of saying it. Pete was opinionated. In a debate about what to climb...Pete got his way (Molly may have been an exception). And if you were leading a pitch, Pete told you what you needed on your rack...and where to belay...and whether your pinky should be up or down. I learned he was always right so I listened.
--And then, on the climb itself, especially if it was in real mountains, Pete became even more of himself. Centered, focused...ON. Molly used the word that works best: unflappable. Pete was calm in the face of, well, anything. (Except when the Cowboys were down by 20. But even then he was still sure they'd win.)
The last time I climbed more than a short sport climb with Pete was a couple of years ago. Pete was down here for some meetings. I wanted to climb the Edge but he wanted to do Vertigo. He won. I was in a new job, wrestling with Jim Ratz's recent death and wasn't all that confident below the crux pitch. Pete led it beautifully. But what was more beautiful was how Pete made me feel capable, and then even beautiful, following him.
I want another day like that with Pete.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Love,
Phil Powers
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Tobey Ritz
climber
miford ct.
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Aug 17, 2007 - 09:48pm PT
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Molly and Avery, you are in my family's thoughts and prayers. Sadly I did not get to know Pete, but after reading many of the stories and descriptions posted, I feel like I do know him in some small way. And even in this way, Pete inspires me to be a better human being, a better father, a better husband, a better worker, a better inspiration to others, and on and on...and clearly this is what he has been doing with all the lives he has touched in so many ways over the years. That is how I plan to honor his memory...to follow his lead...in how he lived his life. I turn to the poet Mary Oliver when I need answers and solace...this quote seems to fit Pete..."the path to heaven doesn't lie down in flat miles. Its in the imagination with which you percieve this world, and the gestures with which you honor it." Clearly Pete is in Heaven...guiding us still. Tobey Ritz
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Moira
climber
Portland, ME
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Aug 17, 2007 - 11:21pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I was lucky enough to have Pete as my leader on a rock-climbing course a few weeks ago. He led my hiking group the first day, and as I panted and struggled along, Pete told me about you, how you met, all your adventures, and your beautiful daughter, Avery, intermittently teaching me how to set my pace to my breath and stay away from the green lichen.
Later that day when Pete’s “short cut” left us a little directionally challenged, he would tell us to take a break, then run ahead to make sure we were heading the right way, drop his pack, run back, and alternate taking my pack and Zoe’s, the other girl in our group. A few hours after our ETA Zoe yelled ahead to Pete, “Pete, if we’re not there in half an hour we’re camping wherever we are!” Pete grinned that illustrious grin and said, “Ok.” Thirty minutes later we arrived at camp.
Everyone was so sad at the first ration when it was time for Pete to return home, but not Pete. As we were waiting for the horses to arrive I asked Pete if you would have a special meal waiting for him. He laughed. “This is the way it works,” he told me. “When I get back from being in the field Molly says, ‘You’ve been out playing in the field all week, it’s your turn to cook.’ And then when Molly gets back from the field she says, ‘I’ve been out working in the field all week, its your turn to cook.” He was so excited to see you two, he ran home (and I assume cooked you dinner!)
I feel so fortunate to have gotten to know Pete and through him both you and Avery. That trip changed me, my goals, and the way I want to live my life, and Pete was an integral part of it. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that I am thinking of you and Avery constantly.
Love,
Moira Greenspun
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drewsees
Social climber
bozeman, mt
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Aug 17, 2007 - 11:26pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
Working today was relatively futile as my thoughts race back and forth between the sadness I feel and the fond memories I have of Pete and the Absolon's. Jen, Katherine, Lauren, and I just spent three days camping in the Beartooths, a trip planned earlier to escape the smoke drifting in and out of Bozeman, but somehow all the more timely as a fitting way to remember Pete. I feel lucky to have known and climbed with Pete. The trip we did so many years ago on Denali remains one of my best climbing moments. In terms of physically pushing, I think our summit day may have been one of my best. It was a day I know we would not have attempted had we not be clicking. We worked really well together on that trip. We were their to succeed, but we never felt pressured to do something we were uncomfortable with. Despite the pounding headaches that had us doubled over,we had a great time up there.
The next big trip I did with Pete was skiing at the Sorcerer Hut in the spring of 2000. Molly, you were pregnant with Avery and Jen was pregnant with Katherine. How nice it was to reconnect and laugh about the changes we were all dealing with. I was always impressed with Pete's conviction to keep focused on his extracurriculars while adding the role of Dad. I remember thinking "yeah right, Pete. Just wait." Well looks like I was wrong. He managed to keep it all going. Apparently it just meant getting up a little earlier in the morning.
We are thinking of you both....
Always,
Drew
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Alison Frost
climber
Crestone, Colorado
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Aug 18, 2007 - 12:15am PT
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I first met Pete after finishing my NOLS Instructor Course. A fellow instructor and I aspired to do some climbing on a road trip and we were in need of a rope and rack. We naively thought we might be able to borrow one from the RMB equipment room.
Of course there are many reasons why NOLS wouldn't lend out technical climbing gear for a personal trip and as Assistant Branch Director at the time, Pete Absolon let us know why. We weren't suprised. But we were shocked when he offered us his own gear.
He drew a map to his house and told us his wife Molly (who had just been my instructor on a Women's Rock & Leadership Seminar) would show us in. We spent the next week practicing extreme "care of equipment", and doing a bit of climbing.
In that first meeting I was impressed both with Pete's professionalism and his human touch. Every subsequent meeting with him only reinforced that.
He was a great person and this is a tremendous loss. My heart goes out to eveyone touched by Pete's life - especially to you Molly and Avery.
With Love,
Alison Frost
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Phil56898079
Boulder climber
New Mexico
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Aug 18, 2007 - 01:01am PT
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I'm not sure either one of us was even 17 when we spent
five days in a tent below Seneca Rocks one Spring, with
ice forming on the tent lines, waiting for it to clear.
It never did. When we finally gave up and walked back
across the bridge, it was probably only an hour before
the car interior would have filled with water. I've
often been sorry about the way I did four wheel slides
on wet roads the whole drive out on my bias-ply tires.
It was really insensitive, because I knew that your
brother had died in a car accident. They're right. You
were mellow, and interesting. I was too hyped back then
to realize it.
You started climbing with the same eccentric guy I
started with: Mike Perlis, my high school buddy. Mike
went off to be an eccentric doctor, and you and I had
climbing lives.
I remember you wearing out the very tips of your EB's
while I was still two inches back from the tips. It
wasn't until some years later, when I was already far
away and you were guiding at Seneca that I realized you
were way ahead of the rest of us. And back then, anyone
who pushed further than the pack deserved lots of
credit. I can't recall the details, but you were soloing
some hard routes on your off days at Seneca.
I'll send my prayers for you, and your family.
Phil Olinick
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Craig
Social climber
OH
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Aug 18, 2007 - 01:49am PT
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Dear Molly (and Avery):
What a great guy.
As a "Cousin-in Law" I have had the honor of knowing Pete and also harboring a secret envy of his/your expeditions in the great outdoors. Pete always seemed to have a good grasp on his priorities in life - he loved doing what he did for a living, and also absolutely adored you and Avery.
I still feel like I have been punched in the stomach without warning and I hope this doesn't sound too trite, but when Blake is away I feel like she is still here with me. I may not be able to touch her or reach her by cell phone or other means, but she is still with me. With that said, Pete may not be there with you in a physical sense any longer, but his legacy will live on in you and Avery in the years to come. I know his presence will follow you through the years of your lives and continue to be with you as time goes by.
So, here is to Pete, a good man taken way before his time. As an old Irish blessing says,
May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
and rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Love,
Craig
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Liz Tuohy
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 18, 2007 - 11:51am PT
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FLICKR GROUP:
We have created a flickr group dedicated to celebrating Pete's life. On this site you can both share your photos, and download or make prints of photos that have been posted. There is currently only one photo on it, but after the memorial service we will post many of the photos from the memory room. I am hopeful that in the future this will be a good place to go when we just want to see his face again.
The site is:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/pete_absolon/
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MarkLi
Social climber
Basalt
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Aug 18, 2007 - 12:21pm PT
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Dear Molly,
A couple of Sundays ago I came through Lander on my way into the Winds. With stores closed and in search of Potable Aqua, I stopped at the RMB Issue Room that morning and ran into Pete for the first time in several years. We had a great conversation and he spoke of his excitement at being the RMB Director, said how great things were going for you and talked some about the conservation easement on the Hansen property. His warmth and light were so palpable, I left feeling uplifted to have spent a few minutes with him. Even my nephews who mostly stood to the side during the conversation, commented as we walked out about what a nice guy he was. And of course, Pete wouldn't hear of my buying anything. Instead he set me up with drops and chased down a fly rod to loan to one of my nephews.
It's clear that Pete had this effect on most people. In years past he had this same effect on Li . . . Being different in Lander sometimes made me feel insecure just being outside my house. But Pete's friendly smile and look always made me feel I belonged, no matter where I saw him. Molly, lovely person that you are, I know you have many friends and family to go to when needed. But please know my home is yours if you ever come this way.
Our love and thoughts go out to you.
Mark & Li
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Teledave
climber
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Aug 18, 2007 - 12:44pm PT
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Dear Molly-
I had both you and Pete as instructors on a semester course in 1992. You and Missy White for canyons, and Pete just after for caving in the Black Hills. I have great memories of both of you, and you both had an influence on me. I remember you talking about Pete during much of the 30 days out. How much you missed him, how great he was. After some great days caving with him, I could see your point. He was always calm and positive. Very knowledgeable and just fun to be around. Really an amazing person. I have been away from NOLS since 95, and just started working in Vernal this spring for the river program. I feel very lucky to have become reacquainted with Pete over the last few months. He remembered the course because it was the one where Mark Roy (proctor) cracked a rib "caving" in the bus. That made me feel good, and after that he always called me by name, which he remembered without hesitation, and accompanied with a smile. He could really make a person feel good! That is something we can all aspire to.
You and Avery are in my thoughts.
With Love,
David Klein
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Mabs Sanok
climber
Chimacum, Washington
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Aug 18, 2007 - 03:08pm PT
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Dear Molly & Avery,
Chris and I learned of Pete's death from a friend in Seattle who knew of our association with NOLS. While I didn't know Pete well, whenever I heard his name the first thing that popped into my mind was that he had the most engaging and wonderful smile. In reading this forum, it becomes obvious that this smile was a reflection of a life lived full of love, dedication and enthusiasm. To see the web of connections extending through time and space, with Pete at the center, is awe-inspiring. My heart aches for you and Avery as you adjust to life without Pete, but I also rejoice for you both that you loved and were loved so deeply.
Mabs (Curtis) Sanok
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Tahoe climber
Trad climber
a dark-green forester out west
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Aug 18, 2007 - 04:56pm PT
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Wow.
I didn't know this guy, but I sure do wish I had.
Just reading this thread has touched and inspired me, at times bringing tears to my eyes.
My deepest consolations to Pete's family and friends, but rest easy, knowing that so much of him obviously lives on in the innumberable lives he's touched. He makes a wonderful example to follow and attempt to emulate - a true hero of a man.
Thanks so much for sharing.
-Aaron Kutzer
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Marit
Trad climber
SLC, UT
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Aug 18, 2007 - 05:59pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
Eric has many memories of NOLS instructor seminars with Pete and Molly. Hopefully he'll get on here before we head Lander-way tomorrow morning. I have more memories of Molly, and that's a good thing since Molly, you are the one who will carry on. Molly, you are such a positive woman and an achiever. Spunky, facing your fears, loving your family, graceful but tough. While Pete brought this out in you, it comes from within and its source is in you.
I remember many conversations about nervousness about climbing, about writing, about careers, and about trying to mix and match love, job, climbing, skiing, doing it all. You can do it. You have done it, and done so and been a strong person in the Lander community. It hurts me so deep inside to think of you waking up in the morning and not seeing Pete there, how does one go on? But you will, with grace and ability and even happiness someday. You will make it and someday your smile will be real and strong and all you, and Pete will be in your heart every day.
We'll see you tomorrow afternoon,
Marit, Eric, Forrest, and Wesley Sawyer
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KatieG
climber
Pittsburgh
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Aug 18, 2007 - 06:13pm PT
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Molly,
I am heartbroken for you and Avery. I have voyeuristically followed this blog all week feeling helpless and unable to say anything that could in anyway ease your pain. To me - Pete will always be the, oh so very handsome, friendly and funny guy my totally cool cousin married on top of a mountain on a beautiful night.
I feel so cheesy mentioning this, but a few months ago I pulled an advertisement out of a magazine for lululemon athletica and taped it to the wall next to my bathroom mirror.
The copy, in pertinent part, reads as follows:
Want to make a fresh start in your life? Think about the end of your life. . . So think about your eulogy. What do you want people to say? Were you generous? Were you loving? Did you take the time to tell those you loved how much you cared? Did you take the time for your children? Did you take care of your health? Did you teach others to take care of their health? Did you take care of the planet? Did you laugh at yourself? Did you forgive? Did you forget? Did you inspire? Did you teach? Did you become involved in your community? Did you make a difference? And finally, did you wait for the end of your life to decide what your life should be about?
I have used these words (admittedly, I am taking life lessons from Madison Ave) as inspiration as I start my day. To me, the words describe an ideal, goals which someday I hope to meet, to some degree, however imperfectly. Obviously, Pete lived his life meeting all of the above ideals . . . perfectly.
Molly, you were so wise to marry that handsome man on top of the mountain and Avery is such a lucky girl to have him in her mind and heart to guide her throughout her life. I have no doubt that you both will carry the radiance of this beautiful man within and that his love will give you warmth and strength through the hard days and nights to come. Please know that I am sending you my love and prayers.
Love, Katie
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Lize
climber
Bozeman
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Aug 18, 2007 - 06:43pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery. I think Avery was just a baby when I last saw you all in Lander. When I heard about Pete I was instantly brought back to memories of when I lived in Lander and worked at the school with both of you. I always looked up to you both, whether it was the determination I saw in you with your work, or of course the great strength you both showed on the rock. For a new girl to the NOLS world and the world of climbing you and Pete demonstrated to me such profound joy, ability, and love for all that you did. I will always remember Pete fondly. And know that I am thinking of you and Avery.
Eliza Eddy
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timo
climber
Finland
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Aug 18, 2007 - 07:03pm PT
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I'm so sorry for you lost Molly and Avery. Also the whole family, you are all in my heart. I wish I where there with you.
I found a picture where Avery looks to her fathers eyes. The look is full of unreserved love and trust. I wish this picture gives stenght to Molly and everyone in sorrow and pain right now. And the memory of that moment, I wish it gives strenght to Avery.
The love that Pete gave to this world will stay here forever.
Deepest condolences,
Timo Virtala,
(Sally's fiancé)
Finland
The picture can be found at http://flickr.com/photos/7926564@N05/
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DPC
climber
Denver
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Aug 18, 2007 - 09:47pm PT
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To the Absolon Family and the NOLS community,
My deepest condolences on your loss. I met Pete as a seventeen-year old wilderness ranger in 1991 at Cliff Lake in the Popo Agie. I'd done my Wind River Mountaineering course the year before, and was always excited to run across a NOLS course while I was on the job. We actually came across Pete's course at Cliff Lake camped, ahem, about 20' off the water, and after asking around among the students found Pete fly-fishing at the inlet, looking very contented. One look at the USFS uniforms, and the look of contentment was replaced by a look of, "oh, sh*t." Needless to say, camp was moved immediately, and from what I heard, Jim Ratz had some choice words with Pete after the course.
I ran into Pete several times when I briefly lived in Lander in 2000; at the Noble, while waiting on him and his beautiful family at the short-lived Amoretti's, and around the RMC. To me he was one of the instructors who embodied what I always loved about NOLS; the strength, the hilarious good-humor, the pranks, and the benevolent charisma. Although I barely knew him, he recognized me quickly 9 years after our encounter at Cliff Lake, and was even quicker to remind me of the circumstances, and to share a good laugh at the memory. Again, my deepest condolences at this terrible loss of a husband, father, and friend. Pete Absolon has joined a pantheon of extraordinary NOLS people whose candles burned very brightly.
Dan Callaghan
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Don Ford
Social climber
Palmer, AK
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Aug 19, 2007 - 12:12am PT
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Dear Molly, Avery and family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. As you gather in Lander tomorrow to remember and celebrate Pete's life, the NOLS Alaska staff will join you across the miles. We'll be gathering at our most beautiful flower bed. We, too, will share with each other and send our love to you.
Don, Donna and all of NOLS Alaska
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estaban
Trad climber
Mount Vernon/WA
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Aug 19, 2007 - 03:01am PT
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Dear Molly, Avery, family and friends,
I will be thinking of you all tomorrow, this has been a long week.
We enjoyed a nice gathering here, in Conway, of some 45 folks and 8 children runnning around having fun. The occasion was to celebrate Mary Jo Newbury and Mark Langston's leaving NOLS for pastures new after many years of excellent work for NOLS. As we sat at dinner we took a few moments to remember Pete and his contribution to NOLS as well as the family and friends he leaves behind.
I know there are folks who will be in Lander who would have been here, and there are many of us who wished we could be there. We will be there in spirit and in mind, if not in body.
There were many flowers on the tables tonight, Avery you were in my thought's. There are many beautiful people in the world and I know your Dad to be one of them.
Steve Summers
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wjbechtel
Trad climber
Gardners, PA
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Aug 19, 2007 - 08:40am PT
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Molly and Avery,
I first met Pete when he was guiding at Seneca Rocks for John Markwell. I was young then, but I still remember him being a great guy and an amazing climber. Pete could climb amazingly hard stuff and carry on a casual conversation like he was standing next to you. I also remember his favorite lunch of sardine, dorito sandwiches!
Pete taught my dad to climb. Since then, my dad has run an outdoors club at the high school where he teaches. My dad has since taken hundreds, if not thousands of students climbing. Just think of all the lives Pete has indirectly touched; all that he has contributed to the climbing community.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Pete was a great man, he will be missed.
Bill Bechtel
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sarahc
Social climber
Victor, ID
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Aug 19, 2007 - 10:10am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery:
For the past week, I have shared many laughs and tears with the Teton Valley community as we have recounted memories of Pete. Just a couple of weeks ago, Liz Alva Rosa and I had an adventure up Teewinot. As we were hiking up the trail (that we later lost), we talked about a number of things. You and Pete came up in our conversation....we were talking about people that we know and love. We talked about you two - your kindness towards others, your support for those of us who can't climb like you two, your love for eachother. Molly, you and Pete - your marriage and your passion for life, for parenthood, for adventure, you've touched a lot of people and are truly an inspiration for many of us. I just wish that I had called you two that next week to tell you that you were in my thoughts.
I've got a few specific memories of Pete that jump to the front of my mind....
The first is from our wedding - just after my father in law had made a toast that turned me beet red (I'm not sure if you remember it, but he closed with 'There are two women here tonight that are now called Mother-in-law. I just want you to know, they'd like to be called grandma.') After that toast, Pete came up to me and Don and said that being a parent has been the best adventure that he has ever been on. He was beaming....and telling us, with that trademark Pete grin, that we shouldn't wait to long; that parenthood had not hindered his adventures in any way, but had just made them richer and made him more focused. I also remember the two of you, as well as the three of you, ripping it up on the dance floor that night.
The other Pete memory that jumps out for me right now is at the winter rendezvous, both last year and the year before. The addiction and love of hunting has infected Don as well. And while everyone else was talking about the latest and greatest in snow science, Don and Pete were in the corner telling hunting stories. And during Drew Leemon's presentation last year, I remember Abby finally scolding Pete and Don. We could all hear Pete's stories of hunting over Drew's presentation. Man, was he excited and passionate!
Molly, you have been an inspiration and a role model for me since I met you in 1999. I don't get to see you nearly as often as I would like. You and Avery are in my thoughts constantly. I will see you this afternoon, and hopefully more and more in the future years.
Lots and lots of love,
Sarah Carpenter
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Lannie
Social climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 19, 2007 - 11:10am PT
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I remember Pete best against a backdrop of brilliant spring green, the kind of green that takes your breath away because it is so new. Backlit, his blond hair like an aura, that Cheshire cat grin (how is it possible to grin like that), as he hit a croquet ball in one of our Killer Croquet games. Always near Easter, Avery would show up in one of a Molly-hand-me-down adorable outfit. (Pete, are you sure that ball was on that side of the wicket just a second ago ????) Sound of laughter as the balls ended up in a ditch, or outside the barn in the snow. Or Pete as the master of ceremonies in a murder mystery game, Molly (hard to believe) as a vamp (Georgina, wasn't it?)
Like everyone else I am struggling to understand, struggling to wrap my mind around it all. And Molly and Avery, Seamus is fine, happy to be running around. My heart is with you both for the long run. Joan Hamre sends her love and support from Alaska. So do Steph and George from Michigan. Love, Lannie
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brian b
climber
Sarotoga Ca
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Aug 19, 2007 - 12:22pm PT
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Update from Lander –
Last evening there was quite a gathering out at the Absolon’s ranch, the ranch is about 10 miles out of town and is just a beautiful – and there must have been a hundred of the Absolon’s friends there. Walking down the dirt road it was completely apparent why Pete, Molly and Avery love it here in Wyoming.
It’s a very sad time – and there were a lot of tears, but there was a very real sense of joy too – joy for the chance we all had to know Pete. Watching people who did not know each other connect and learn a bit more about his life and his legacy was powerful.
Today is going to be a hard day, as we say goodbye to our friend. It is also a day to give thanks – thanks that he was here, thanks that he made such a positive impact on so many people, thanks that we knew him.
In talking on the blog this past week, and talking to Pete’s many pals last night – I have this feeling that he is looking down on us and saying what’s the big deal – come on – get on with things. He would tell us to do what ever we can to help Molly and Avery. He would tell us to take care of his mom & dad, sisters and John. He would tell his buddies at NOLS to keep the place strong and growing. He would tell the climbing world to keep pushing the envelope. He would tell us all to not do things half assed – to commit and do them really well. He would tell us to help each other out. And most of all, he would tell us to keep moving forward, no matter how hard it is.
I’ll miss you buddy
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ugge lee
Mountain climber
WY
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Aug 19, 2007 - 01:52pm PT
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Like probably everyone I'm still trying to deal with the senselessness and randomness of this accident.
From having known and worked with Pete, the things I most remember:
his smile--genuine and unpretentious
warm affection that touched everyone
when no one else would, "I'll do that"
unflappable enthusiasm
on the rock a smooth and effortless ballet
consummately prepared
down-to-earth
light in his eyes and love in his voice when we spoke of his family
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amy skinner
Social climber
lander, wyoming
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Aug 19, 2007 - 02:35pm PT
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The time we spent last night at Pete, Molly and Avery's place near Red Butte was truly wonderful. Our children ran and played, friends and family hugged and laughed and cried and I was shaken by the absence of so many of our dear friends. I thought of how much Pete, Jim, Todd, Christine, and Amy have taught us during their lives and in our lives since they've left us. I was reminded, yet again, of the strength our community gives us. We have the power to laugh and despair together or alone, knowing that at any moment we can call on our closest companions or a friend who has been gone from our lives for years with the same outcome - support, love, joy.
I didn't know Pete well enough, but I have experienced his love through my friendships with Molly and Avery. It has been a wonderful thing to see this family grow over the years.
Molly - you, along with so many others, have cared for me and my children more than I could ever imagine possible over this past 10 months and my intention is to love you and support you however I can. We miss Todd everyday, as you miss Pete. What rich memories we have to share and celebrate! We'll celebrate Pete's life with you today and everyday.
We love you.
Amy, Hannah, Sarah and Jake Skinner
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Sistermarthashusband
Mountain climber
nj
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Aug 19, 2007 - 04:43pm PT
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Hi Molly & Avery,
Sorry we couldn't be there with you today. We love you and are thinking about you. Sam and Alex love you and hope to see you soon.
It's very hard to make sense of all the thoughts that come to mind. My time with Pete was different from most in that we never had the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors together. This is a real bummer because I love the outdoors. Instead, as the brother-n-law over the past 10 years we spent time together enjoying holiday's with family. I can say Pete was a great family man. One story about Pete comes to mind. Our kids were enjoying a week together in a house at the beach. It was early morning and everyone was just waking up. The house was four stories tall with a walk out on the roof to see the view. Pete calmly tells me he found Avery climbing from the roof lookout onto the slick roof peak. I was like "What?" He said "yea, she climbed onto the roof peak." I couldn't tell if he was scared or proud. Either way he handled it well. He was very calm and did not Panic Avery. I'm sure this is one small sign of Avery's desire to seek great heights in life.
My wife (Martha) always enjoyed her time with her big brother. Words cannot describe how much she admired and loved him. As she works through this difficult time she is becoming more aware of the impact her brother had on so many. This stirs up both great joy and sadness. He will be missed very much and thought of always.
Love,
Kevin, Sam, and Alex
The following picture is one of my favorites. It shows proud dad next to Avery after she just finished coloring her beautiful picture. The picture can be found at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/11735521@N03/1171692923
And more pictures of family events.
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lizf
Social climber
Lander, wy
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Aug 19, 2007 - 05:27pm PT
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Molly, Avery & and all Pete's friends,
Pete was a huge part of the NOLS community. He's loss has put a hole in all our hearts. He will be missed. All of us in the community feel the loss. We must remember to nurture each other. Molly it will take a tremendous amount of courage for you to continue on. My thoughts are with you. Love, Liz Farmer
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Brad J
Mountain climber
New Hampshire
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Aug 19, 2007 - 06:43pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I am in awe of how Pete has touched so many people so very deeply. May their love forever be a source of support and reassurance to you and Avery. You are in my thoughts and in my heart.
Like so many others, I share great fondness and admiration for you and Pete. I feel so fortunate to have spent some precious moments with you just a few weeks ago. Wandering through City Park on my only night in Lander in ten years and there you were - proud parents watching your daughter perform Shakespeare on a warm, summer night. It was a perfect moment that I will always cherish. I feel privileged to be connected to your world and am comforted to know that during this dark time you are in the best care imaginable.
Love,
Brad
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sltsjp
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 20, 2007 - 02:21am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery:
Our thoughts have been with you all week and today especially we wish we could have been there in person.
I remember a few years ago when Pete accepted his NOLS Employee award he described you both as the bookends that balanced his life. Though the book is thinner now I know you will continue to to celebrate Pete's life and cherish the stories and memories while creating more of your own.
Our love goes out to you from afar.
Shana, Steve and Li
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dbedford
Trad climber
Park City, UT
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Aug 20, 2007 - 09:07am PT
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Pete was one of my mentors as I was cutting my teeth as a climber at Seneca. He was always giving, always smiling, always very hard to keep up with. Our tribe has lost a leader. My heart-felt condolences to his family and the NOLS family.
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PhilS
Mountain climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 20, 2007 - 10:28am PT
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"the Absolon"
I worked a section of a Fall Semester in the Rockies several years ago, and Pete was the liason for the group. The semester didn't have a proctor, so they got to know Pete pretty well. Even though they only saw him once a month or so, his impact was apparent. They called him "the Absolon", as if he were some kind of all-knowing deity, always watching from above. When they were trying to make a decision, they would ask each other "What would the Absolon do?" If one were thinking of being a troublemaker, they would opt not to, because they new the Absolon would find out somehow.
Avery and Molly, and all of us - the Absolon is still watching over, guiding our actions in ways that we may or may not realize. Our thoughts are with you Avery and Molly as you move on with having Pete in your lives in a different way.
Phil, Blair, and Isa
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sister
Social climber
nj
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Aug 20, 2007 - 12:57pm PT
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Dear NOLS and Extended Lander Family,
I want to take a moment and thank you from the very bottom of my heart for the incredible outpouring of love and compassion you have shown our families this past week. We were all completely blown away. Yesterday's Memorial Service was absolutely incredible -- A tribute to a great man -- husband, father, brother, son, climber.
As Pete's little sister -- my heart is completely broken ...but because of all of you, not shattered. Thank you for taking care of Molly and Avery -- and thank you for taking care of our families. You have caught us in the midst of horrifying free fall, thanks.
I heard a lot of incredible things about Pete over the weekend -- but here's one I will never forget. A friend of Pete's once asked him how he could climb these crazy hard climbs ... and actually make them look easy. This friend kept asking Pete for details on what specifically he did, as if to find the perfect recipe for the perfect climb. This friend said, Pete paused, thought about the question for a minute and simply said, "I don't think about falling, I just think ..."UP!"
Well Pete, though full of tears, I'm thinking UP today ... because of you. Bye for now. Say hi to Fritzy!
Your little sister, Martha (aka Bootsie)
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 20, 2007 - 09:06pm PT
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I just wanted to write and thank everyone who was with us in body or spirit yesterday for Pete's memorial service, and most especially to the friends in Lander who made it happen. It was an absolutely beautiful tribute to Pete and I cherish the tears—and laughs—I shared with people, in person, in letters, or on this forum.
I sense that the forum is winding down and while I know it is probably time and that it has served us well, the end scares me. I will miss the connections and the stories we've shared here; it has helped keep Pete alive for me. But I also understand that we cannot keep doing this forever...that I need to start trying to take those baby steps toward figuring out my life without Pete.
I wish I could make sense of the senselessness of this all, the random act of throwing a rock that has left Avery and me struggling to find our bearings and come to terms with what comes next. Maybe I never will, but knowing that people also share the pain of losing a friend and colleague, knowing how many people recognized the gifts he gave to so many of us all help a little bit. I just wish I had told him more often how much joy he brought into my life.
molly
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LAC
Trad climber
Bogota, Colombia
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Aug 20, 2007 - 09:24pm PT
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Being an international instructor for NOLS, Pete was always there to guide and give constructive feedback at debriefs.
My heart goes to Molly and Avery, strength of the spirit to continue and grow.
Pete was an excelent climber and person, his memory will remain with all who met him!
un abrazo!
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Allison Dittmer
Social climber
Topanga, CA.
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Aug 20, 2007 - 11:03pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
We left Lander this morning after a very beautiful, emotional weekend. I was reminded once again, at the bbq on saturday night and the memorial yesterday, what an incredible community you live in. I wish we hadn't left so abruptly- that I had more time to talk with you, Molly, and gave you another great big squeeze.
You both are so beautiful and poised- smiling with so much life through your teary eyes. I know this time now, as the thread seems to be slowing down, and the weekend is over, must be very hard. Please know that celebrating Pete's life , loving him, having wonderful adventures- these things will continue. We will all make sure of that. We love you and believe in you.
love, Allison, Jason and Casey
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katiebaum
climber
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Aug 20, 2007 - 11:17pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I feel very far from Lander at this moment, and so wish I could have been there to celebrate Pete's life and to grieve with you yesterday. Please know that your family has been in my thoughts all week, and will continue to be. I am so grateful for the limited interactions I had with the two of you and with Pete over the last four years in and around Lander. Pete counseled me in my efforts to make a life and a career for myself at NOLS, and encouraged me as a cautious and tentative climber. He is one of the strong, gentle and vibrant souls that brought me to NOLS in the first place and that, ultimately, are the reason that I stay.
And simply co-existing with the three of you in this community has inspired in me the now strong belief that climbing and work and other passions in this life are not incompatible with nurturing a close and loving family. Believing in that, I think, has changed my life. Thank you for the inspiration.
I am struck still by the terror of this news and, like so many others, I am struggling to find words to express my sadness and the depth of sympathy I feel for you, now and in the weeks, months, years to come. Pete was an amazing individual who touched us all. I wish there was something more to say that would make a difference for you now... May you find strength and peace in the love you shared and the light that shone from his life.
Yours in sadness and in celebration,
Katie Baum
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Michelle L. Escudero
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 20, 2007 - 11:40pm PT
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Hello friends,
I have not had the head space to read this tribute to Pete. I will wait for a night when all the lights are low, grab a glass of red wine and read on...but I wanted to at least join the crowd in sending Molly and Avery my love.
We had an amazing celebration of Pete's life here in Lander on Sunday. So many faces filled with grief yet at the sametime filled with the comfort of family and friends. I have attached below what I said during the memorial celebration.
Molly, thanks for walking to the falls today. It was exactly what I needed to clear my head. Avery, thanks for being Bravery Avery and going down the slide. You are awesome!
Michelle Escudero
Family for Pete meant the Absolon and Armbrecht families and also the Lander family, the NOLS family, and many more communities to which Pete gave his talent, energy and enthusiasm.
Pete-n-Molly,like parallel tracks in fresh snow, Molly-n-Pete. Then, Pete-n-Molly evolved into Pete-n-Molly and Avery: the Threesome. My threesome has always held their threesome up as the role model. "How did they make it look so easy?" I would ask Scott. Well, the simple truth is that it wasn’t always easy. Yet, their relationship was based on deep mutual respect for each as individuals: Molly the fire, Pete the steady force that helped smooth the way. It was a balancing act: give, take, mine, yours, ours. You climb; I ride. You go; I come. Then, us together again; let’s go.
Avery was not just along for the ride but as an integral part of the adventure. Who would have guessed that a 3-month old would be hanging out at the cliff being passed around from friend–to-friend? Pete and Molly allowed us to become Avery’s uncles and aunts. They taught us how to be a family. They taught me that family time is sacred time not to be filled with life’s obligations but guarded as a time to share, learn and do.
I have written something for Molly about Pete the extra-ordinary family man. For me it’s the small things that defined Pete not his super-human athletic feats.
Family
Pete: son, grandson, brother, cousin, nephew, uncle
Pete: friend, companion
Pete: lover, partner
Pete: colleague
Pete: father
Pete: life-long companion
Family: a triangle
The angles: self, partner, father
The balancing act: self, partner, father
Molly dressed in miniskirt and low-cut shirt with visible cleavage (the first of her life) and a big, swollen belly. Pete: Molly is the most beautiful thing in the world. I just can’t take my eyes off her. Pete as lover.
Pete: How can you fall in love in an instant? Pete as day-old dad.
Molly’s not home. Conversation flows. Pete talks of sleeping on the couch with Avery nestled on his chest. Packing her up for her nightly sleep-inducing drive or push. Diapers. Breast feeding. The balancing act. Pete has transformed into a chatty guy filled with wonder of being Avery’s Dad. Pete as New Dad.
How did you spend your birthday with Molly away? Pete: It was amazing. Avery knew that it was my special day. Dressed in her fancy dress, party shoes and many hair accessories, Aves and I went out for a special dinner. My little girl was becoming my big girl. Pete as Prince.
Pete: Today we are gathered here to celebrate our 18th anniversary. I married the most amazing woman. She makes me happier then I can imagine. Pete flipping elk, passing the beer, bonfire, camper and coffee in bed. Later the most elegant Thanksgiving ever held in a 2-car garage. As we gave thanks, our community brought true meaning to this celebration. Pete as the guy that new how to throw a party by pulling together community.
Molly, I do not love you for who you are but for what I am when I am with you.
I suffer from a back injury. Pete stops by my house. I am with Magdalena—red-faced as I nurse in front of Pete. Pete sits down next to me. Stays with me. He offers encouragement, comfort. Pete as friend.
Pete calls from the Jersey shore. I’m in charge of dinner tonight. I need the chicken curry recipe. Yep the lemon’s the secrete. Pete calls from the backcountry. I’ve just got an elk. I am way far from any road. Actually, I don’t exactly know where I am. Can you get a message to Molly—I’m going to be really late for our dinner date? Pete as the consummate Provider.
Pete, Molly and Avery the triangle—paddling off in a canoe. Avery atop a little beach chair strapped onto the deck. Pete in the stern, Molly in the bow. Molly shouting orders. Pete calmly maneuvering down river. Pete keeping the triangle together.
Molly, He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong. (Funeral Blues, W. H. Auden)
Molly, we will help raise Avery and keep Pete’s memory alive and share more adventures. Ted get your skies out. Gary get the mountain bike ready. Scott no hiding your dancing shoes. Willy sharpen the skates. Gary get the climbing shoes re-soled. John it’s show time fairies and all. Mark pack up; we’re heading to the canyons. Ben grab the paddles, it’s boating time. We all are each other’s family.
A piece of us is missing with Pete not here, but we are so much more because of Pete and the way he treated us as family. Through the years we will mourn; we will celebrate; and we will share life’s journey just as Pete shared with us.
Michelle Escudero
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nancysiegel
climber
seattle, WA
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Aug 21, 2007 - 01:26am PT
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Dear Molly,
I have thought of you and Pete so much this past week, and cried many tears for you and your families as I have read the thoughts that people have shared here. Please know that I am holding you and Avery close to my heart.
I don’t remember exactly when I met you and Pete, you are both just there in my NOLS memory. I am so sad for your loss… and so glad that you are well-cared for as you find your way in these first weeks after Pete’s leaving. Although you are the one who has to travel this road one foot in front of the other, I know your community and family will continue to carry you through the days ahead.
It has been a long time since our paths have crossed, and somehow it feels recent that we were paddling together on the Main Salmon (that must have been back in 1995...) I carry a picture of you and Pete in my mind from that trip, smiling, vibrant, alive, and so close with each other. I am grateful for knowing you both.
I am sorry to miss sharing the celebration of Pete’s life with you and the NOLS community yesterday. My love to you and Avery,
Nancy Siegel
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 21, 2007 - 01:36am PT
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The Memorial Service presented by the Lander community was beautiful. Thank you for your out pouring of support to those of us who came so far. We will miss Lander...we will miss Pete...
Special Eulogy Presented by Mary Absolon, Pete's sister.
On behalf of our parents, Mary and Karel Absolon and all the rest of the Absolons, we thank you.
We especially thank you for being present to Peter during his life in such a positive way and for
respecting him so highly as a professional. He loved you all and still does. He loved the work you do. He
loved the friends he had everywhere. He loved the family he married into. He loved the Lander area. He
dearly loved his wife. He enthusiastically loved his daughter. He had serenity in his life and we are all the
better for this because it is a whole lot more fun being with someone who is living out their passions!
So..how does one grasp what has happened here and what meaning this has to our lives?
So..how does one get one’s arms around what the loss within one family of not only one son, but two sons means?
Can this be true that we are going through this again? How can this be?
And my brother --- my dear, dear brother Pete. No, please make it not be true…
How does one take comfort at a time like this?
These and so many questions have tortured us over the past few days since learning of Pete’s death-
“Pete’s death” God I hate those words. They are painful to my heart.
But what we want is not what is to be and out of this we move forward
to a different serenity for each of us.
And so here we are gathered us Absolons to share with you-- our Pete.
The name Peter means Steadfast Rock and he did this every day of his life.
_
Peter had an uncanny ability to just be able to get anything for him he wanted. He had that cute grin & positive disposition that made this easy. So as a child & with these innate personality characteristics, it was not surprising, Pete was THE KID who always seemed to weezle anything out of Mom -- from GI Joes and all the equipment, to Roy Rogers with all the horse gear, to the best camping gear. Pete, knew how to get things done– he was smoooooth even as child!
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Long before Molly came into our lives, Pete was a wrestler – you see this was his early formative years. He was getting his body ready for those future climbs that were awaiting every muscle in his body-he had a great body.
Wrestlers are tough and that is what life is – tough – but those wrestlers learn to go into the ring one on one with their head held high – and then shake hands at the end of a match – and give um a smile. The wrestling ring trained Pete to be a gracious winner and loser.
Us Absolons are achievers. We were surrounded with this as we grew up. We knew that we were to be contributors to society, to work hard, get a good education, and be excellent!
My Dad would say, “whatever you do – do your best.”
You see - our role models were cave explorers in the Czech Republic, physicians with public institutions named after them in Minnesota & a medical history library in North Carolina named after my Dad, explorers of prehistoric relics. Why there is even a microscopic bug named – you got it – the Absolonie.
So you see, this is what our Pete carried away from home when he left to make his way in the world over 20 years ago. And he carried on this legacy so well as we all now know.
_
Pete’s world changed when he met Mary Willoughby Armbrecht – our Molly.
One meaning of the name Molly is “Living Fragrance”.
Molly was truly THE fragrance that gave Pete a new life and he flourished with her in wonderful ways.
He shared this about her when they first met….. “I liked the way she moved on the rocks…”
It was not long that he accompanied her to Berkeley and even stopped in Minnesota on the way out so he could show her off!
Pete loves Molly. He adores Molly. He just loved being with her. He was smitten from the time they met – and we were so very, very happy for them!
Before we knew it they were living in Lander and making a life for themselves.
Pete was not perfect.
You know when two people are as down home in love as Pete and Molly are, it’s really hard to learn about any “issues”, but………… being the older sister I am, this happened one time unexpectedly and I learned of one!
I asked Molly, are there any nick names you call Pete?
She looked at Pete with her “Molly smile” and out came with-- “Piddles”!
Pete looked at her a bit stunned.
Then I quickly said, “I know where that comes from. He never puts the toilet seat up before peeing & I lived with that!”
We all laughed….
I have a feeling there were dry seats from that day on at the Absolon house
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Avery brought new smiles to Pete’s face. When she was born, he was so excited we thought he would relapse and need to be called Piddles again!
Pete knew how to be a Daddy. He taught Avery how to walk on the ceiling with help from Dad, use the “ropes” when climbing and guided her most recently in her acting career as a princess.
These life skills appropriately fit Avery whose name means- Noble and Strong.
Her foundation of who she will be as a person is sound and nothing will change that. Pete made sure of that while he was with us here.
Avery remember --- noble and strong
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Pete loved Wyoming and his life out here with Avery and Molly. Pete was our master of ceremonies during our big 2003 trip out west and relished showing us his life out here.
He wanted his family to love and enjoy what he was passionate about. To this end, Pete greeted us with two huge canoes roped to his truck roof. We had a fabulous canoe trip down the Snake River with him and Aves-we were in the front row seats of his home in Wyoming and he treated us like royalty. He showed us a great restaurant with exquisite food in Jackson – that only the locals knew about.
Before we knew it, we then were in Lander climbing on the wall in the garage that Pete made. We viewed their land with “red rock” , enjoyed Avery on her horse and just liked our time together being with them. This memory was capped off when Molly and Pete gave us a picture of Signal Mountain as a Christmas gift which we now have in our den.
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Pete loved sushi… when we were on Times Square in New York City after seeing an awesome production of the Lion King, he insisted we go to a sushi bar.
Pete knew his sushi! He ordered and we sat back enjoyed the evening with my dear brother, sister in law and niece.
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Pete and Molly were married shortly after our son Chris was born – in 1988. Pete and Chris shared a lot in common with each other as Chris loves the outdoors, was a wrestler, is an Eagle scout.
Pete said for years, “godda come out and do a NOLS course, just godda do it..”
Then when our daughter Molly started with a outdoor rival competitor – Widji – that is Camp Widjiwagen in Northern Minnesota on the BWCA, Pete rassed us more!
Pete would kid us and say, “You’re going to “Widji” – doing things the “widji” way – so when are you coming to NOLS?”
Last October, this came together. Pete guided Chris’ choice with his #1 recommendation being the Semester in Alaska.
This was by the fate in our lives one of the last gifts from Pete given to our family. Chris says, “ Mom everyone knows Pete.”
Chris now knows NOLS and that is knowing the Pete – that is breathing Pete – that is sweating with Pete
– that is smiling with Pete – that is experiencing the passion of a lifetime with Pete -- as Pete’s spirit is
intertwined in this organization. WE thank you for givinf us the living gift of Pete through our son Chris.
Mom & Dad --- you have now lost a second son.
As Pete would say, it’s a “bummer”.
You have done a great job with each of us. Thank you. We will be here your whole life.
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Avery – your Daddy is always at your side as he now is your invisible friend that sits on your shoulder.
He is with you and will keep you safe your whole life. We will share and talk about your Daddy when we
are together always.
We will look forward to getting together and having fun. We will ALWAYS be here for you all the days of your life in a special way. Please come to us – just come.
And by the way…when and if you need a stand in for your Dad, we have some great NOLS wanta bes waiting for you!
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Molly
Remember early on in your marriage, Pete and Bill came back from the store…..and brought us “twin
gifts” -- that little “I love you” stand. Just like this stand represents, his arms were always there you.
We love you very much.
We miss him so much -- as do you.
Your 19 wonderful years of marriage together are living gift-you are blessed.
You enjoyed wonderful trips…..conversation---intimacy
We are so happy that Pete had it all as your spouse. Thank you, thank you for freely giving this to Pete.
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Our lives will move on.
We look forward to this new path with its ups and downs; know we are there for you always with our
arms open just as Pete’s always will be.
_
So …..as Pete would say ……..…
”gotta go”……
”seeee ya”…..
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KP
Trad climber
Fayetteville, WV
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Aug 21, 2007 - 11:33am PT
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I too am an old friend of Pete's from the Seneca days. The news of Pete's death was a blow to something deep inside of me. As a young aspiring climber in the early eighties I looked up to Pete as a mentor. His climbing abilities were always impressive and his attitude about climbing was filled with humility. He was the epitome of competence and always encouraging of those around him. Pete of all climbers of the day represented the true spirit of Seneca. He was a real hard man, pushing new routes, repeating classics as well as others new lines, but always respecting the traditions of Seneca. But above all he was a great person.
I am sure there are many people from those days who feel the same way I do and do not know of this tragedy. Many have left climbing and may not keep up with it anymore. Life takes us all in different directions and it is tough to keep up with old friends.
With all of that said (and I could say a lot more about Pete as you all know) I would like to try and organize a Seneca memorial of some sort for Pete. Maybe this fall a gathering at The Gendarme to say farewell to Pete Absolon, who is a true Seneca legend, would be a small thing to do in memory of a great person. If anyone out there has contact with Seneca and New River climbers from that era please contact them and hopefully we can make this happen.
My condolences to Molly, Avery, and all of Pete's family and many friends. My thoughts are with you.
Kenny Parker
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KIMBERLY
climber
St Simons Island GA
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Aug 21, 2007 - 12:56pm PT
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Molly,
All day on Sunday I thought about you and Avery. I sat in church and prayed that your day would be sunny, warm and a light breezy might touch you as you were surrounded by all your friends and family. The reasons for what happened are not ours to disern but the blessing of the life you have had are
beautiful. I am so very sorry for you and Avery. I so remember your wedding many years ago and meeting Pete. What a delightful person! The memories of our childhood tell us we are invincible yet the powers beyond us mold us into different characters as we mature. The waves and ebbs in our life will reveal one day what we have been molded into and that invincibility will give way to our character. Please know that you are in my prayers and that I am thinking of you and Avery. I will write to you soon. Kim
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Old Ted
Social climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 21, 2007 - 02:34pm PT
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I am Pete's father in law. Calvert, my wife, and our whole family are devastated. We have just returned from several days with Molly and Avery. We can't begin to describe the outpouring of support from the climbing, NOLS, and friends communities that we witnessed last week. Others will and have and we thank them.
I pass on a poem that was read at a family gathering and a song that was read at the incredible public ceremony.
A Japanese Poem, Author ?
One tree another tree
each standing alone & erect.
The wind and air tell
their distances apart.
But beneath the cover of earth
their roots reach out.
And through depths that cannot be
seen
The roots of the trees intertwine.
MY OLD BROWN EARTH
(a song by Pete Seeger)
To my old brown earth
And to my old blue sky,
I'll now give these last few molecules of " I ".
And you who sing
And you who stand nearby,
I do charge you not to cry.
Guard well our human chain,
Watch well you keep it strong,
As long as sun will shine.
And this our home,
Keep pure and sweet and green.
For now, I'm yours
And you are also mine.
My old brown earth,
For now I'm yours
And you are also mine.
Ted Armbrecht
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mark1229
Trad climber
Rockville, MD
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Aug 21, 2007 - 02:34pm PT
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Dear Pete,
So many years have passed since the days when we first learned to climb together. I can remember the two of us as young climbers with EMS and IME in North Conway or cheering on-top of Seneca rocks like kids that the Americans had just beaten the Russians in Hockey. Remember when we shared a “space blanket” until dawn so that we could safety descend through the boulder field? I always knew you would explore your dreams. The thoughts, prayers and wishes that are with you and your family make it clear you were living your dream.
Pete, you are a great person. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Your “sadden” old friend,
Mark Munn
mark.munn@comcast.net
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Nora Kratz
Mountain climber
Laner, WY
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Aug 21, 2007 - 06:05pm PT
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As a Lander native, I'm sending my deepest condolences to Molly and Avery. I remember Peter as a fixture of the community and know how he will be missed.
Nora Kratz
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Aug 21, 2007 - 07:20pm PT
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I would like to thank everyone who contributed to helping us get through this past week. Airport pickups, hotel reservations, opening your homes, your hugs, your stories, etc. We thanked many of you in person, but I know there are so many more who were working behind the scenes and I want to thank you as well!
It was wonderful to finally put faces with the names I've heard for such a long time. You are a wonderful community.
The service was incredible- the slides, the words, the amazing feeling of being seated in a circle around all those flowers that Avery wanted for her dad, and having all of you surrounding us. I have never experienced anything like that before.
It's hard missing Pete and now being so far from Molly and Avery.
Now that I am home the reality of this enormous hole in our family is beginning to sink in.
Keep holding Molly and Avery in your hearts. Take care of Steve too.
I love you Molly.
Love,
Cornelia (one of Molly's sisters)
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lesvanb
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 21, 2007 - 07:46pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
Molly, I wanted to write down my story I told you about Pete on Sunday for you and Avery.
One day, when Pete was still working at NOLS HQ, he poked his head in the Tremblay conference room where Debra East and I often ate our lunch, and said,
Why, you two should be sitting at either end of this long table...and there should be candles and napkins and silver!...and I could be your butler, with a white cloth over my forearm!! ...and then he left. But the story line continued over the weeks and Debra and conspired to bring in the candles and white cloth...And then he stopped one day and said, I'm getting a tuxedo! I'm the escort for Avery at her recital in Riverton! Me, in a tuxedo...with Avery! How wonderful! Ah we said, recognizing The perfect opportunity...we'd love to see you in your tuxedo and we'll bring the candles and napkins and you can play our butler!
Well, though we never did act out the final scene of elegant lunch in the Tremblay conference room –the tuxedo rental had its guidelines–we all delighted in the play acting. And that was a part of the essences of Pete–the delight, the joy, and the creative act.
I'd also like to share a poem that's kept me company over the years:
The Unbroken
By Rashani
There is a brokenness
Out of which comes the unbroken,
A shatterdness out
Of which blooms the unshatterable,
There is a sorrow
Beyond all grief which leads to joy
And a fragility
Out of whose depths emerges strength.
There is a hollow space
Too vast for words
Through which we pass with each loss,
Out of darkness
We are sanctioned into being.
There is a cry deeper than all sound
Whose serrated edges cut the heart
As we break open
To the place inside which is unbreakable
And whole,
While learning to sing.
All my love to you and to Avery and your families and your horses and cats and all of your friends,
Leslie
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ebegoon
Trad climber
harrisonburg, va
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Aug 21, 2007 - 09:39pm PT
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I learned about Pete's accident this past Friday pm and just could'nt believe it! A couple days passed before it truely sunk in that Pete was gone. Molly, it seems like yesterday that you and Pete were living life in Seneca, it's hard to think that 20 yrs. have gone by, but after reading the stories and seeing the pictures I realize that Pete had not changed a bit. Still grabbing life by the horns and directing it where he wanted to go. Following are a few memories of mine of Pete.
I remember when one cold and windy winter day Pete and I were climbing at Seneca. Pete led a rt. on the east face then while chasing the sun we ended up at the Face of a Thousand Pitons.(Molly you met up with us at this point) It was my lead but Pete said the only thing he wanted to do there was Agony, well I was not about to stick my cold hands in an off width so I picked the arete on the left of the face. Mongoose was born. Thanks for the courage Pete.
I remember when Pete and Greg Smith did Banana Peels, 12b R. Hard and poorly protected, few if any takers since the 1st acsent. They took it by the horns. Both Pete and Greg are gone now, passing within 12 mons. of each other.
I remember when Pete and I wrapped a canoe around a rock on the North Fork one rainy day.
I remember when I waded the North Fork one cold day to meet Pete and Tony Barnes on the North peak. As we were getting ready to call it a day Pete told me he had drove his car up the pipe line and was parked on the trail at the top I called BS but sure enough there it was (That famous Absolon smile). I'll bet that hasn't been done since.
I remember when Markwell found a bag of pot in the Gendarme and although it was not his, Pete took the blame to cover for his friend. John fired him on the spot but hired him back inside of an hour. John is no dummy, he knew a bright star when he saw one.
I remember when I was younger, life was simple and more of my friends were alive. Don't wait to call up an old friend.
Pete ole buddy, I'm so sorry I didn't keep in touch.
Eddie Begoon
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KateBinzen
climber
Atlanta, GA
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Aug 22, 2007 - 08:01am PT
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Peter was my next door neighbor in the Madison dorm at GW when I was a junior and he was a senior. We became very good friends. He was a great friend, a great cook and a wonderful, warm person. He taught me to climb. I loved him and his warm, kind family. I have been out of touch with Peter for over 20 years. I saw this blurb in the New York Times about his accident and was absolutely dumbfounded and sick with shock and sadness. All of my memories of my time with him came flooding back. I have found some photos from that time and would be happy to send them on to his family and Molly if someone would send me addresses. I feel very cut off as I have no connection any longer to the GW community. It just makes me so, so sad, for his parents and siblings and his wife and daughter. I have loved seeing the pictures on this site. I remember his talking about his brother Fritz and how after Fritz died Peter took on some of his personality traits. The one I remember was that he started following basketball. He taught me to follow basketball. Am I right in thinking that his brother was a climber as well and that is where Peter got his passion for climbing? I am not sure, but I loved reading that Peter has now passed on his passion to his nephew.
I remember when he visited my family in a suburb of Philadelphia he had no car. I said "how are you going to get here?" He said "hitchike, I'll be there around dinner time" and sure enough - around dinner time he called from a store about half a mile away. I was amazed at the ease with which he handled life. I also learned to change a tire because of Peter. In an indirect way. I wanted to visit him in West Virginia and my Dad said that I wasn't allowed to drive that far alone. I told him that that was sexist since he would let my brother do it. So he thought a minute and said that I was probably right. So, he said, "if you can prove that you can change a tire on your own I will let you take the car." So that is the one time in my life that I have changed a tire all on my own.
I remember at Seneca Rocks going out for dinner to a Diner with Peter and his climbing buddies. They all ordered milk shakes, so I did the same. It was the worst tasting milk shake ever - it was beer!
Years after my time at GW I was at a new friend's house in Boston. While at her house I saw a photo on her mantle of a happy couple on their wedding day. I looked at it again and said "Hey, that is my old boyfriend, Peter Absolon!!" She told me that he had married her cousin and they couldn't be happier together. I was delighted to see that picture and hear that news.
And I was just so sick to get this most recent news. My heart goes out to Peter's parents, siblings, Molly and little Avery. I am sure that she is a beautiful little girl.
Kate Binzen
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Amy Harris Van Vranken
Social climber
Denver, CO
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Aug 22, 2007 - 03:38pm PT
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I taught a Kindermusik class that Avery was enrolled in as one of my most regular and faithful students for two years. And one of the most regular and faithful parents who came to "sharing time" at the end of class was Pete--right in there clapping, dancing, and singing with the kids. He always had a smile and a greeting for everyone. I knew Avery as a bright, creative little girl and I know her loving father had so much to do with that. What a devoted dad!
Amy
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Topper Wilson
Trad climber
Pueblo, CO
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Aug 22, 2007 - 03:49pm PT
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All,
Pete Absolon was one of my best friends. In recent years we’d fallen out of contact for no particular reason. I want to share some of my memories with this community who all loved this unusually bright light called Pete. We learned a lot together, about each other, about happiness and sadness, poverty and wealth. We were smart guys that did some very stupid and immature things, but we kept learning. It was all about fun and becoming better climbers and better teachers.
I’ve always heard that - in times of grief – memories come “flooding” back. Not for me, my mind isn’t working that way now. The memories are trickling in from what seems like a life time ago and this is annoying to my work-a-holic, goal oriented nature: I wanted to post something to supertopo days ago, but the memories keep coming at a slow, somewhat constant pace. Small glimpses of Pete…, and Molly…. I feel the need to say more than a few words…
Pete and I first met at Carderock, Maryland. We were teenagers and both loved to boulder… He had EB rock shoes, and I didn’t. I had clunky RD’s, things that worked okay but weren’t sensitive. EB’s with leather sewn on the sides to make the canvas uppers last longer were really cool. There was a point in time when one couldn’t buy EB’s because they were in short supply in the US. I remember Pete and I driving in great anticipation to Hudson “Bay” Outfitters as the store was named then and picking up a couple pairs of coveted EB’s, feeling lucky and pysched that maybe I’d be able to climb a little bit better. I thought all the good climbers wore EB’s. Pet might have bought two pairs, I can’t remember just yet…
Pete and I took trips to Seneca Rocks, WVa in our teenage years and early twenties. We car camped on Roy Gap Road with the other weekend warriors from the DC and Pittsburg areas. We perused the little red guidebook for routes that we thought we might be able to do. We spent evenings marveling at the climbing equipment in the Gendarme, dreaming that the Hexes, Stoppers, Webbing and Ropes hanging behind the counter were like jewels or precious metals, planning ways to scrape together money for our next planned purchase to “complete” our racks. We debated whether using Friends instead of hexes was cheating; Friends had just come out and were easier to place, hence less skill needed. We had trouble opening our beer bottles because our forearms and hands were so used from the day’s efforts.
After my first year in college, I came back to Carderock in hopes of finding Pete. John Gregory informed me that Pete and Mike (Perlis) were working for John Markwell teaching climbing at Seneca. I was in awe… That just sounded like the best job in the world… I approached Pete; “you gotta get me a job there.” He put in a good word, but I also knew I wasn’t a strong climber at the time. The next summer, with the help of Bill Heronimus (sp?), I climbed up a climb on the south end of Seneca and lowered two non-climbers who had climbed most of the way up the first pitch of a 5.6. John hired me for $25 a week; that was 1981.
Pete and I taught climbing at Seneca throughout the ‘80’s. We had courses wired: each student got 2 over the shoulder slings, 2 regular ‘biners, 1 locking ‘biner, a figure eight, and a helmet. Typically, we had three students per class for three days. We carried light racks of 6-8 nuts, and climbed everything in tennis shoes, usually with packs on. We’d buy our lunch from Buck Harper’s general store, usually a small can of baked beans with a pull top lid, some peanuts, a package of crackers with cheese and maybe some M&M’s. We’d fill up our water bottles at the spring on Roy Gap Road, just down from the Southern Pillar. In the evenings, we partied hard too with the students. I remember one day after of fun night of drinking, John Markwell, climbing school director asking, “how’s Pete today?” Pete sang out happy as can be, right next to his new class, “Great, I’m still drunk.” He was full of boyish fun. To this day, I don’t know if he was kidding or not, probably not... We’d always tease the students, but never with any malice. He’d ask as I headed off with a new class, “so are you guys going to do Death of a Novice or Bodybag first?” I’d do the same thing to him next time around.
We worked with many other good people: Mike Perlis, Chris “Moose” Gunther, Tony Barnes, Mike Cote, John Govi, Tom Cecil and Daniel Miller, all solid teachers. I remember Tony’s first summer. I thought we were fairly well seasoned by then and also thought Tony was ready for his first course. We had not really reviewed in detail how to teach a beginning course, nor, do I recall if Tony shadowed a course (mistakes 1 & 2). I think I had covered it in general but did go over things in detail. On this occasion, I said something about providing students with a little history on climbing. We let Tony demonstrate belaying techniques. He proceeded to demonstrate a technique called “dynamic” belaying, where by the belayer feeds a few more yards or rope out as the climber falls to “gradually” slow the falling climber down. This was a technique that was used prior to WWII when we didn’t have nylon ropes that stretched. Pete and I both looked at each other with eyes the size of oranges. I was outraged – mainly at myself but also at Tony, though this was not Tony’s fault, it was mine. Pete thought it was just funny. With a few beers in us afterward, we discussed the incident. We began applying a basic pattern of “tell them what you’re going to do, tell them what you’re doing, tell them what you’ve done” to many, if not all, aspects of the climbing courses.
Life at Seneca changed over the years. However, there were three basic activities: teaching rock climbing, going climbing, and talking about climbing in the Gendarme or on the front porch. Usually, talking about climbing involved listening to pontifications of John Markwell and hundreds of other climbers that came to Seneca to climb for a week, month or every weekend; beer was mandatory. Just like the tides, we’d tire of the conversations and be re-invigorated. Some of my fondest memories of Pete are on that front porch, discussing climbs, listening, nodding, smiling, laughing, and drinking beer. Pete would have been dressed in an old tee shirt, tan Patagonia “stand up shorts” with holes in them, red or blue socks with running shoes. One leg would cross the other just above his knee, and he’d be stretching back muscles or the like. I’d call him Pete “Gabsolon” because he loved to “gab” about climbing so much.
Pete loved to goad people into going climbing after teaching, no matter how hard a day you’d had. “Ah, come on, mannnnnn,” his voice rising in pitch as he said it. We’d go climb a few pitches. It was not unrealistic to get back down after dark. His ego played a part in this. One weekend evening, when we were walking back just after dark, the conversation on the front porch of the Gendarme died as we walked past; we’d been noticed by the people there As Pete and I got to the school building, he said in a low voice, “I love getting down this late.” I think what he was conveying to the people on the porch was something like, “I love climbing so much, I’m just getting down from climbing now, I get to be here every day but you only get to be here on weekends, so why aren’t you climbing all you can?” He loved to demonstrate his love of climbing, not to show people how good he was but to show them that he just loved climbing and loved pushing himself to climb hard. He also loved to push others and loved to see them succeed. One summer evening, he asked as I cracked open a beer, “what have you done to deserve your beer today?” I had run up the South Peak after teaching, so it was okay for me to have that beer, but there were plenty of days when it wouldn’t have been okay.
Pete got into soloing at one point. There was a book that came out about Henry Barber, and that provided a lot of inspiration and insight to Pete. Like Henry in his signature white hat, Pete began wearing a yellow bicycle cap and soloing. One day he ran back down to the shop about night fall, and I asked him what he did. He rattled off about 20 climbs. He’d done this all after teaching until 5 PM. On another occasion, Pete soloed Castor and Pollux, two classic Seneca test pieces. Upon reaching Broadway ledge, a climber approached Pete and said, “I hate people like you!” The meaning was clear, there was no way that person had a hope of reaching the climbing confidence and competence that Pete had. It was all envy and no malice. Pete told me about it later and said “I love it when people say stuff like that.” Really, there wasn’t any higher compliment to Pete.
Pete and I, along with the rest of the instructors, lived in different houses in West Virginia. Every Spring, it seemed we had to worry about where we were going to live. There were times when we slept on the concrete of the climbing school or climbing shop floor and went for early morning swims in the Potomac, washing with Doctor Bronners Biodegradable soap; it had a label that preached at you. The water was cold… I also remember early attempts at cooking. Mike Perlis cooked a huge bag of noodles that filled a three gallon pot. This was for Mac and Cheese for three people. We didn’t have any “Tuperware” to save the food in, so it was a waste and a topic of discussion for years to come. It’s funny now only in that it’s a memory I feel compelled to record because Pete was part of that. Our cooking got better over the years, particularly when Molly moved in. Those houses we lived in were always places people came because Pete invited them, and that was always fun because it was something to look forward to.
At one point, during the “Pre-Molly Era,” Pete and I began driving north to Petersburg to go to the Nautilus Gym there and take aerobics. We had multiple objectives: exercise, meet young, beautiful women, and beat the boredom of living in rural West Virginia. This can also be referred to the “Young, and really, Really dumb Era.” After a good work out and not approaching any of the young, beautiful women, we would shower and get in the car for the 45 minute drive home. Then, we’d buy a six pack of beer for the ride and start back. I don’t remember how it began, but we started playing a game of nerves and adrenaline called “England.” What we’d do is turn off the lights, get in the left hand lane where oncoming traffic could strike you, and drive the 55 mph road as long as our nerves could hold out. One person would “look close” for deer and one person would “look long” for car headlights. There were never any close calls playing that game, but it’s pretty much the stupidest thing we could have been doing. We were in search of adrenaline. Young and dumb, live and learn, don’t try this at home kids…
Pete and I climbed all over the US in the 80’s. In 1983 or 1984, I was at Prescott College and Pete was spending the winter out west. He was introduced to the Black Velvet Canyon at Red Rocks, and called me at school to come up. After a series of missed phone calls in which Pete had left me the wrong number to call, we finally connected. I drove my old Datsun 710 green station wagon the 5 or 6 hours up to Vegas and met Pete for Spring Break. We then took that same old car on the 4 wheel drive road out to Black Velvet. “Yeah,” Pete said, “bad weather around here, it just get’s really windy…” We climbed a lot there. Once we spent the night on top of the chimneys of Epinephrine. This was our first “wall” climb, having hauled up sleeping and cooking gear. We watched the red, green and gold lights of lost Vegas turn on as dusk settled. It was magical. In the morning, based on advice from local climbers, we bundled all our sleeping gear and cooking gear in our haul sack Pete threw it off the cliff. We watched it sail down and hit the valley floor, a few items popping out on impact. As I recall, the total damage was minimal; Pete’s Seva (sp?) stove was dented but still worked thereafter. The upper pitches of the climb were beautiful. Walking off the top, we noticed an old broken bottle of Black Velvet Whisky near the summit. We didn’t pick up the pieces, feeling that it was somehow symbolic. There are many areas I loved to climb, but Red Rocks was in the top five on the list every time. I’m certain that Pete felt that way too for at least part of the 80’s and early 90’s though I’m sure too that Pete found other areas to climb that were just as thrilling.
A few years later, I came back to climb Epinephrine again with a different partner, the same way, sleeping on the ledge atop the chimneys. The “bad” weather of desert wind turned into an “end of the world thunderstorm.” Miserable night, the cliff running like a waterfall, I told my friend what Pete had said about the weather and we laughed about the silly situations we had put ourselves in; we could have checked the weather forecast, but it only get’s “windy” in Vegas.
On our first trip to Yosemite, I picked Pete up in Rockville, Maryland. We were sitting in the old datsun at a traffic light. Suddenly, horns were honking and breaks were squealing. Two cars had just wrecked in front of us. One of the cars had taken out the pole that held up a traffic light, and the traffic light came bouncing aggressively toward my car. Pete was yelling noooo! The light stopped short by 15 feet or so. I was so clueless. I asked why were you yelling no, that light wasn’t going to hurt us? “Because,” Pete explained in a relieved voice, “the traffic light could have wrecked the car and then we wouldn’t have been able to get to Yosemite.”
In September of 85, we climbed the Salathe Wall. This was truly our first Wall climb; we sort of knew what we were doing, but not really. We were there with a group of friends. I have several very distinct memories of that climb. We were constantly hearing a new Dire Straits song, that’s the way you do it (on the MTV). Having never climbed a Yosemite wall, we kept singing the refrain as we learned new techniques: “that ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it.” Repeated noises drifted up from the valley floor too. The green dragons (open air, multi-car tour buses) that snaked along the road said things that were mostly mumbled except for the words “the Salathe” and “baby giant sequoia.” We also heard lots of sirens one day, and found out afterward that a tree had fallen on a newlywed couple, killing them. I remember as we exchanged looks, “scary” Pete said but you could tell his compassion was more than the single word.
For the actual climb, our plan was to climb the first ten pitches of the “Free Blast” and then rap back down, fixing lines and spend the night on the ground, then set off with our haul sack. We set off, climbing well on the crack and face pitches. We ran into problems on two separate 5.7 pitches. They were greasy, awkward, scary, bombay chimneys. Pete and I were both cursing… Tired, but feeling strong, we made it to the top of the free blast and traversed over and down to the heart ledge and started fixing lines down. At one point, we rapped down to a ledge that was about 30 feet long and 5 feet wide. It was a long way off the deck. Neither of us realized it at the time, but we hadn’t anchored ourselves in. We set up the next rap and continued down. At some point afterward, Pete realized this mental mistake and pointed it out. I was dumbfounded. I don’t mind walking around on top of cliffs without an anchor. I do mind walking around on top and not realizing we weren’t clipped in to anything. We were tired, live and learn…
We were so tired in fact that we had doubts about the climb, not the actual climbing, but the hauling of water, sleeping bags, etc was going to be exhausting. “Man, this is going to be a lot of work!” Just like the two kids on the old Life cereal commercial who said, “hey, let’s get Mikey,” we said together, “let’s get Gene!” Gene Kistler was part of our friendly group of climbers that had come to the Valley. He joined our team on the spur of the moment. The route had many more challenges, running into people ahead of us, them running out of water and us not wanting to risk sharing our limited water, Europeans catching us and passing us, but none was more memorable then just one or two pitches below the top. I led through a pitch which put us on a narrow ledge above the headwall. We were so close to the top and I was jubilant. Gene came up next. That left Pete to release the haul sacks so Gene and I could haul them up. Pete began jugging a 9mm rope, an old blue rope I think. Gene and I were happily talking and a nice breeze was blowing. At some point, we realized that Pete was yelling at us. The head wall is a slightly overhanging pitch, so Pete was below us, hanging from a 9 mm rope, spinning around with 3000+ feet of air below him, not touching any rock, and now he was yelling at us. Eventually it became clear that the haul rope and 9mm rope were wrapped around each other. Thus, as Gene and I hauled the bags up, the haul rope had the potential to cut through the 9mm jug rope. We stopped hauling. Pete came up saying, “that is the scariest thing I’ve ever done!” Glad that he was okay, but without thinking much, I said, “yeah, I know what you mean.” Pete turned, madder than I’d ever seen him and said, “no, you don’t know.” We got over it, but we also debated this from time to time. Live and learn.
There are many other things that come to mind about Pete. He came to Prescott to climb. One day bouldering behind Sears, he fell and landed badly, his ankle swollen. He didn’t go to the doctor, I think because he didn’t have any insurance. He eventually found out he’d broken his talus (sp?) bone. He still hadn’t gotten it repaired. Months later in the Gendarme, I remember him telling John Markwell and myself, sobbing, that he thought he’d never be able to run again. He eventually got it fixed and within a short time of the surgery took a hot tub and got the incision infected. Live and learn.
Pete was my best man at our wedding. Tonia and I were married in Zion canyon, on the valley floor near the river. As our minister Susan Armor was conducting the wedding, a very large stink bug was crawling painfully slow inches in front of Pete’s shoes toward my shoes. Pete elbowed me and motioned at the bug. I think I cracked a smile, but this was supposed to be a solemn moment, so I suppressed it. Pete whispered under his breath, “step on it.” I felt like a little school boy, trying to suppress my laughter that could not be suppressed. Always teasing, always after fun….
After I had stopped working at Seneca, and Pete and Molly were married, we had intermittent visits: Pete and Molly coming to see us in Salt Lake City. They’d come through on their way to somewhere else. They’d stay a night and then fly out. We’d see them at Alta for their family vacations too. At the time, Pete was just learning to ski, so he didn’t want me to ski with him, thought he’d be a bother.
One of the last times I saw Pete was when he and Molly returned from a trek in the Himalaya. They gave us a beautiful rug with lions on it. That was about 10 years ago. After that, I moved on to Helena for 5 years, and then to Pueblo. We had a few phone conversations and discussed getting together, but never did. I was busy trying to climb a corporate ladder; I had stopped climbing rocks. I might have to start again… Pete would like that.
Pete, your death has created a big hole. You are dearly missed.
Molly and Avery, my heart aches with your lose and the difficult road ahead. I’ll be in touch soon.
Love,
Topper Wilson
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JOHN ABSOLON
climber
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Aug 22, 2007 - 04:18pm PT
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Hello Peter. I always called you Peter. Your stage name turned out to be Pete. What's in a name anyway. It is the person that everyone remember's and that is what lives on and never dies. As your brother we had a great time growing up and doing a lot of things together. People always looked at us as twins with our similar physiques and mannerisms. I am going to miss your prescence here in the physical but in time we will reunite. I have admired your passion for rock climbing and the things you accomplished from that passion and dedication. Your passion lives on, but on a different plane of existence. Guide over Molly and Avery in these apparent sad times as they go through an adjustment phase. We will never forget your 47 years of dedication to the human experience.
In Loving Memory
Your brother John
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Mamad
climber
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Aug 22, 2007 - 08:35pm PT
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Dear Molly, Avery, Family and Friends:
When I first met Pete I was a new Transpo\Evac Driver. He was involved in many of the Evacs I went on. I decided he was terrible at giving directions to places and he decided i had what he called NOLSY radar despite his directions! We had many a laugh over my "Pete adventures". During the regular school year I drove the North Second Street bus route and saw him many times in his way to work. He always had a smile, wave and\or a positive word for me. I had the privilege of being his driver for his short stint as a sub-instructor on a course a few weeks ago and we gabbed all the way to Trail Lake!
Pete (and you too Molly),have had a very positive impact on my life and I will always be thankful for that. Its hard to imagine life without Pete in it, so I won't. He may not be here in person but he will always live in our hearts.
Please know that my Love, tears and Prayers are with everyone.
Debbie Olson
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3rd sister
climber
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Aug 22, 2007 - 09:32pm PT
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I am another of Molly's sisters and I wanted to add my heartfelt thanks to the amazing outpouring of love and support for Molly and Avery and, by extension, for all of us in her family. There was something so comforting in being in Lander for these past ten days, even with the sadness and loss. Now that I'm home I just feel the loss of all that Pete brought to Molly, to Avery, to our family, and to me. Though I'm resolved to do everything I can to carry his spirit on: to remember on my own how to use an avalanche beeper without his reminder, to get good enough to keep up with Molly on backcountry skies without depending on Pete to remind her to choose something that I can do, to know the things in the wilderness I always counted on Pete to know, that doesn't make the hole any easier to bear...
And I wanted to share this poem by Rilke....
It's possible I am pushing through solid rock
in flintlike layers, as the ore lies, alone;
I am such a long way in I see no way through;
and no space: everything is close to my face,
and everything close to my face is stone.
I don't have much knowledge yet in grief -
so this darkness makes me feel small.
You be the master: make yourself fierce, break in:
then your great transforming will happen to me,
and my great grief cry will happen to you.
I love you Molly and Avery...
Ann
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Blakes
climber
Cincinnati
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Aug 22, 2007 - 10:31pm PT
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I am Molly's cousin Blake and I also wanted to Thank everyone in the Lander community for their love and support of Molly and Avery and everything that has been done to help them. I know with friends like all of you Molly and Avery are going to make it through this difficult time. The memorial service was the most beautiful tribute to Pete-words can not even describe how wonderful it was. I am also having a hard time being at home and away from all who have shared the wonderful stories of Molly, Pete and Avery. I will also share a poem read at the family gathering:
Remembrances
"Death is nothing at all... I have only slipped away into the next room....I am I, and you are you...whatever we were to each other,that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name,speak to me in the easy way you always used. Put no difference into your tone;wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect, without the ghost of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near just around the corner... All is well"
Canon Henry Scott Holland(1847-1918)
Molly and Avery we are thinking and praying for you both- and your entire community.
Love to you all
Blake
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Aug 23, 2007 - 12:52am PT
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No words can really do much to help, but my thoughts are with the family and friends of an obviously wonderful man.
-Jeff Lowe
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 23, 2007 - 12:17pm PT
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I asked Avery if she wanted to create some kind of ritual to say goodnight to Pete each day. She immediately had us light a candle and walk out onto the porch where we had a moment of silence. She prayed, her hands folded and talked silently to Pete in a way that only children—who live in a world where magic and heaven are as real as the earth and sky—can. I, the struggling agnostic, used the time to just think of Pete. After a moment Avery said, okay and blew out the candle. We went inside and looked at an old picture of Pete to share a story before going to bed. It's our new evening ritual. So if some night you find yourself thinking of Pete, light a candle and join us—wherever you may be— in wishing him goodnight.
Avery and I are leaving for Finland for two weeks tomorrow. I am sorry I haven't returned calls or emails. The phone is hard for me right now. But hearing your messages has been very important, so the fact that I don't call back has little to do with the power of the love you have sent to Avery and to me. I feel it and it helps. Thank you.
If the Seneca gang ends up pulling together a gathering this fall, please let me know. I'd like to try to come.
Peace.
Molly
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Lori Maddox
Boulder climber
Eugene, Oregon
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Aug 23, 2007 - 02:00pm PT
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I am a friend of the Armbrechts from WV originally - now in Oregon 22 years. Molly, I am writing just to add my few drops to the stream of compassion and condolence that is flowing here. I am not surprised that you have surrounded yourself in your life with such a strong community of warm, caring and adventurous friends. You and Pete have clearly touched many lives. I remember meeting Pete and talking with you both a decade or more ago in WV about NOLS and playing outside and life in the west. We have lost some dear friends to accidents such as this and it is terribly painful and confusing. I can only imagine how horrible it is when the person you have lost is your chosen life partner and co-parent.
I am grateful that Pete appears to have had a rich, adventurous life full of meaning and depth (or height, as the case may be), partnership with you, and the gift of a child. I'm sorry it was cut so short, and I am so sorry for how much you and Avery must miss him and for the enormous loss you now carry.
Should you need a getaway, we would be honored to welcome you both in Oregon. We have rocks to play on, rivers to run, beaches and mountains to explore, and kids to lead us there. I hope your family time in Finland helps you begin healing.
Take care,
Lori Maddox and David, Carson (10) and Tyee (6) Atkin
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Craig_Stebbins
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Aug 23, 2007 - 02:31pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
It was with great sadness I read the news of Pete. Our paths crossed occasionally in the lobby of the Noble or the editorial office in old Post Office, but we never worked together. Our NOLS careers overlapped in the early 90's. Besides his friendly smile and sense of humor, I will always remember the "solid guy" reputation his coworkers conveyed in the informal conversations us NOLS instructors have at dinner time in the feild.
Our prayers go out to you, Avery, and your families for strength and courage during these difficult times.
Peace to you all,
Craig Stebbins, Stepahnie Jones, and Josephine(2yrs)
castebbins "at" seanet.com
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 23, 2007 - 05:40pm PT
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Dear PeternMolly:
We are back in Minnesota.
Guess what! Chris, (Peter's nephew) has his sight on hiking Mount Rainier. Now, where would he have ever got that bug?
And he has also figured out that the University of Denver is just a car ride away from Lander and NOLS and some great camping. Now, where would he have ever got that idea?
Molly Herber (Peter's neice) has her eyes set on a NOLS course for summer of 2008. Now, where did she every get that notion?
Ok so the circle of life goes on. The spirit of who you are Pete is here in the now. Those adventurers among us seek out new and exciting experiences.
So Molly, dear wife Molly you just might have some visitors for you and Avery....
Peter's spirit lives amoung us....each day in so many ways.
Love,
Mary
Peter's Sister
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WDLong
Boulder climber
Helena, MT
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Aug 23, 2007 - 07:16pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
We were so saddened to hear the tragic news last week and I have been struggling to come up with some wonderful words to share with you, though I know that I don't have them. All I can share with you and your family is this- For nearly twenty years now I have been blessed to consider myself a part of the NOLS family no matter where I find myself in the world. From working my first course with Molly, to the many visits I made to Lander during my wandering years, and now as a dad and a husband returning to Lander to visit friends, I have always looked forward to seeing Pete and Molly. Seeing your wonderful smiles, your warm welcoming back into the fold of the Lander community no matter how long I had been gone always helped me feel a part of a larger family. Within our NOLS community I have always felt their were certain people who represent our collective heart and our collective spirit....These people represent the best of who we are and to me have always represented a guide for my growth as a teacher, a friend, a father, a husband, and a good person on this earth. Pete and Molly have always been at the heart of the NOLS family for me. Each of you have help shape my life to be that much better. Pete and Molly, I have always admired you both so much and looked up to you as friends, mentors, and a wonderful inspiration for living a great life.
Sending you all our love, thoughts, and prayers,
Wally, Val, Katherine, and Charlotte Long
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TrevorD
Gym climber
Victor ID
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Aug 23, 2007 - 07:31pm PT
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I have been reading through this forum almost daily. It has been a source of laughs and cries for me, a source of fond memories of Pete and painful reminders that he is gone. I have tried to write in several times but I haven't yet found the words before I find the delete button or tears cloud my vision. I never got to know Pete as well as I would have liked and never spent enough days climbing with him either. I did consider Pete a friend and also a role model, a mentor and an inspiration. I feel lucky to have known Pete, I am a better person as a result. I, for one, am not worried about forgetting about Pete, he has made an indelible mark on my life. I first met Pete when he was my instructor on a NOLS course in 1993. I was instantly drawn to Pete's energetic personality. Even though he was the instructor and I was a student he always made me feel like a valued expedition member. While I was constantly in a learning role around Pete he always treated me more like a peer and an equal than just another NOLS student. That was a gift Pete had to make everyone around him feel valued and appreciated. After I returned to NOLS, I was fortunate enough to get to know Pete in a different capacity. He was a supervisor, a friend and a climbing/boating/skiing partner. Boating? We had heard lots of stories about Pete climbing, skiing, biking, hiking, and even hunting so I thought I would share a story about Pete the boater. Kayaker to be specific. I had some pretty enjoyable runs with Pete. One weekend up in Cody on the South Fork of the Shoshone stands out. Pete was a natural but he was also a novice. He was a natural novice whose potential was only curtailed by the time he was willing to devote to paddling versus all of the other loves in his life. I'll never forget the wild eyed look as he charged through a challenging rapid, or the grin turning into a huge smile after a successful combat roll. Pete pushed himself at everything he did, but he was always calculated, he never took unreasonable risks, he was always aware what his number one priority was in life. And that Priority was to always return home and share his day with the loves of his life, Molly and Avery. I always respected Pete for that. His utter devotion to his wife and family, into making his and Molly's relationship strong. He was and will remain a relationship role model for me. It seems so unfair for a man whose priority was to always return home to be killed by a thrown rock. For Pete to be doing everything right. I suppose we can take a small amount of condolence from the fact that Pete was having an amazing day in the mountains, climbing, doing something he loved with a good friend and that the end for Pete was sudden and painless. Life isn't fair. Molly and Avery I don't even know where to begin in offering you two my condolences. I know that Pete meant infinitely more to the two of you. I hope my memories and fondness of Pete will help ease the loss you feel and will continue to feel on the long road ahead. We can only hope that time will ease the pain to a dull ache. That each day will get a little easier and when you think of Pete is can always be with a smile. He was a great man. Trevor
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Ords
Mountain climber
Bridgton, ME
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Aug 23, 2007 - 08:46pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
We have a candle lit. Pete will not be forgotten - not tonight nor for all the nights to come. We think of the two of you all the time and are sending love & hugs across the miles.
Laura & Stefan
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 24, 2007 - 08:23am PT
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It's morning in Minnesota. Our son was to have returned from his Alaska NOLS course this morning, but came back to be with us in Lander. Then our wonderful idea was to drive our son, Chris, back to Denver via Lander so he and Pete could visit and talk about what proved to be the experience of a lifetime in Alaska.
So, I'm going to light a candle tonite and still share about Alaska.
We love you Pete. May you be with us always as we pick up the pieces little by little each day. We miss you so....
Love,
Mary, your sister
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Janos
Trad climber
Charlottesville, VA
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Aug 24, 2007 - 11:00am PT
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Molly
I'll always remember Pete as someone willing and eager to give good advice and support to climbers of lesser ability. His presence was a positive contribution to my visits to Seneca Rocks. My thoughts are with you and your daughter.
John Gathright
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sally
climber
Finland
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Aug 26, 2007 - 12:19pm PT
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I'm in Finland with my sister Sally. I'm torn about being here—my first thought was to escape Lander and the ghosts for a while to try to come to terms with my new life, but now I feel so very far away from all the people who knew and loved Pete that it is very hard to be away. I recognize most people have finished posting here, but I have come back again to try to help me cope. Thank you all for your memories. I just wish with all my heart that we could bring him back...
molly
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climbluedog
Trad climber
AZ
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Aug 26, 2007 - 01:21pm PT
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Molly and Avery- continued thoughts and prayers for you both- When asked if I knew Pete shortly after his accident, I was both pleased and honored to say , yes- even though it was only once- I love being able to say it- yes, because I was able to personally experience one time a glimpse of what others got to experience over more time as evidenced by so many thoughtful heartfelt posts. Sad because with all my NOLS connections, it won't be more often. but I do hope to cross paths with you and Avery again-
Be well, Molly, as you figure out just what that means to you now....
Lisa E.
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jim woodruff
Sport climber
maryland
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Aug 26, 2007 - 03:23pm PT
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so sad. can't possibly understand something like this. in the end all we have to show for our lives is those we loved and those who loved us so pete clearly lived well.
as a climber he was always "just around the corner" in my early days. moving way too fast and elegantly to be spotted in the wild. i would always know that he was living in a sphere that i could admire, fantasize about, but never travel in.
i admire him for following his bliss in life. we most acutely feel the loss of those who have truly lived.
jim woodruff
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Jim P
climber
Boulder, CO
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Aug 26, 2007 - 04:00pm PT
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First, my condolences to Pete's family during this difficult time.
I am a cousin of Pete's mother living in Boulder, CO. Since I've seen such an outpouring of support for the family, for everyone's information, I'm copying the following article which appeared in yesterday's Boulder paper. It gives an update of the investigation into Pete's accident.
By Bob Moen
Asso. Press
Cheyenne, Wyo. No criminal charges will be filed against a man who threw a bowling ball-sized rock over a cliff, hitting and killing another man climbing below, a prosecutor said Friday.
Fremont County Attorney Ed Newell said a number of factors went into his diecion not to file criminal charges, including the fact that drugs and alcohol were not involved. Newell has refused to identify the man who threw the rock, saying only that he recently returned from military service in Iraq.
Pete Absolon, 47, died instantly when he was struck by the rock Aug. 11 while climbing the Leg Lake Cirque in the Wind River Mountains near Lander, 220 miles northwest of Cheyenne. Absolon was the Rocky Mountain regional director of the National Outdoor Leadership School in Lander.
Newell said Absolon's widow has the option of pursuing a civil case.
The man, who had no prior record, was hinking with several others on top the cliff when he threw the rock weighing about 15 to 20 pounds over the ledge and down a sheer rock wall, Newell said.
"He had no idea that there was anybody below," Newell said.
The man then leaned over and saw the rock hit Absolon, immediately calling his friends for help and running to the bottom of the cliff to check on Absolon, Newell said.
"He could have easily walked away, and it would have been assumed that the rock had simply fallen due to natural causes," Newell said.
In making his decision not to file charges, Newell cited the man's remorse and said he took responsibility and cooperated with investigators.
Still, Newell said throwing the rock over the ledge without checking to see if anyone was below was "crmininally negligent or reckless."
"Mr. Absolon died needlessly, leaving a wife and young daughter to live their lives without his love and support," Newell said. "We all need to understand that a moment's carelessness can kill."
Jim Peterson
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KB lander
Trad climber
Lander
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Aug 26, 2007 - 04:06pm PT
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I took a long walk up the Middle Fork trail this morning and was overcome with sadness over Pete's loss and pain over Molly and Avery's insurmountable grief. It was warm, but there was a hint of fall in the trees and sky. With a view of Lizard Heads peak in the distance, I looked down and saw elk tracks, really BIG elk tracks. And, it made me even sadder to think that Avery would not get the chance to go hunting with her dad. And then, I actually caught myself smiling because I remembered that Avery had gotten to go hunting with Pete. There was the time in fall 2001 when Pete and I found a herd of elk in a big meadow by Dickinson Park and, being tired and unprepared, never got a shot off. Pete told me later that week that he drove back there the next day with Avery, left her in the truck, ran to the meadow to see if the elk were there, and then, freaking out about leaving Avery, ran back to the truck. I'm not sure if he ever told Molly about that one, but Avery was just fine. Then, the next year when the 3 musketeers (Pete, Gary, and I) failed on our antelope hunting expedition, I guess Pete decided Avery would be a better hunting partner. They drove up by Atlantic City, Avery proudly riding along according to Pete, spotted an antelope, killed it and returned home to show Molly. So, there you go Aves. You are indeed the experienced hunter of a very proud dad!
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kitsap climber
Mountain climber
WA
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Aug 26, 2007 - 07:57pm PT
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Molly,
I am very sad to have missed out on the privilege of knowing Pete, and I have never met you, either. But I just wanted to add my words of sincere sympathy to all of those written and spoken before.
Even though you may feel every one of the miles between you and that amazing community of friends and family that you are a part of, please know that you are right there in their thoughts and hearts. Their memories of Pete, and their love for him and you will always be there to share and take comfort in, no matter where you go in your life, long after the postings here have stopped.
I want you to know that I have taken a lot of inspiration from what I have learned here of Pete, and the life that he shared with you and Avery. Please know that from this, even a stranger can be inspired to re-examine his life and remember to live every day with passion and energy.
I wish for you peace and healing, more and more each day.
Sincerely,
John Sears
Hansville, WA
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blairstone
climber
lander
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Aug 27, 2007 - 12:23am PT
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dear molly, lander is still here and we are all still with you, even across oceans. the memories and stories of pete, and the sadness of his loss, are still here as well. he is not forgotten. we send you all of the love and peace and hope we can find between lander and finland...
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Janeen
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 27, 2007 - 12:50am PT
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Everyday I read these posts, it is amazing to see the outpouring of love from the people that Pete encountered throughout his rich life. I lit a candle tonight for Pete, I like the idea of that ritual.
Tomorrow our season at NOLS SW starts. It feels strange to be so far away from Lander, and to start our season without Pete. That might sound strange but Pete was an integral part of my first year down here. Frequently I would call him for advice and he always took the time to coach me through hard decisions or just listen to my ideas. He was always excited to chat and help me problem solve even if he was super busy. I loved that when I called he would say "Hey buddy". I can hear it now, "Hey buddy" in the silly way he would say it. I know as our fall season moves into full swing Pete will be with me. Although when I am stuck and need advice I wont be able to call him, I will still be able to say "What would Pete do?". And I know he will be there in spirit helping me along.
At the memorial I was hanging out with Aves and we were looking for some items she had miss placed, it seemed that when we would find one thing she would discover something else was missing. She looked to the sky and said "Oh Daddy, you're playing tricks on me!" I had to hold back my tears because it was simultaneously very sad and beautiful that Avery and all of us now have to redefine how we have Pete in our lives. Beautiful because he will always be with us in our own special way and at the memorial it was apparent that Bravery Avery had her Dad by her side, looking over her, always with her.
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maura kistler
climber
Fayetteville, WV
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Aug 27, 2007 - 10:43am PT
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Dear Molly,
It is amazing to read this blog and see the evidence that Pete continues to inspire and motivate people even after his death. What an incredibly powerful example he has set for us all. Tell Avery that our family will light candles for Pete too. We will look forward to hugging you both when the Seneca Rocks gathering happens. We will be in touch.
All our love,
Maura, Gene, Philip and Kate
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Lynn Morrison
climber
portland, or
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Aug 27, 2007 - 02:13pm PT
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Molly,
I can relate somewhat to your feeling of being far away from those who knew and loved Pete, but also know and love you!
The attempt is to live in the present, to try and calm the mind, the thoughts....the struggle. To do things that help ground me to the present, i play with amos for kids are most often living in the present moment, i do yoga and sit for that grounds me further, i focus on the breath, feel the sun...
Nurture yourself in all ways possible, walk, look around you, enjoy nature, maybe there you will feel closer to Pete and others...
Journal and see if writing will help clear the mind.
take good care of yourself, be gentle, cry when you need to
much love and blessings to you!
lynn
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camilla
climber
boise,id
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Aug 27, 2007 - 04:38pm PT
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I have been waiting to post a message here. Waiting for the right words or understandings or moments or insights... Needless to say, those have not come and I am still in shock that this has happened. I think about you daily, Molly, and you as well, Avery.
Arya can tell you from her 4-year old brain that Pete died, and that sometimes Dad's die because Pete was Avery's dad. In some ways I think it makes more sense to her. Life just is. Some of it is hard, most of it is great!
I am so grateful that I knew Pete as a friend, parent, co-worker, climbing partner... I know that the community will be okay without Pete, but different. Molly and Avery, I know that you will be okay without Pete, but different. I am sad that this is the reality. I send you my love and support.
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Lynne Wolfe
Trad climber
Driggs, ID
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Aug 27, 2007 - 05:08pm PT
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Hey Molly-
Glad to see you are still checking in on this forum. I have been thinking about you a ton, at quiet moments taken out of my day, at wild busy moments taking the rope up there, and many more.
I hope you know that the Teton Valley crew is with you, around you and behind you. We'll come get you this winter and surround you with love, laughter, and fresh powder as much as we can.
I have a photo of me and Pete, bouldering in the Little Sandy drainage, in front of me on my desk.
So many funny memories of him, of you and Pete and me... driving home from Rob/ Kathryn's wedding at Jackson Lake Lodge, of Pete calmly talking me through how to break into my truck after I locked my keys in it, then shattering the wing window with the 2 butter knives- remember that one!And a few of us waiting for Pete giggling at the bottom of some ski run up on Togwotee Pass.
Love to you and Avery- see you when you come home to the Greater Yellowstone.
Lynne
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brian b
climber
Sarotoga Ca
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Aug 27, 2007 - 06:39pm PT
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Here are a few things that thinking of Pete have inspired me to do since I left Lander last week.
• Called a couple of old friends that I had not talked to in years just to say hello and get re connected (how I regretted not doing that w Pete )
• Took a day off of a busy work schedule to take my kid on a hike she had been after me to take her on for more than a year (we had a blast)
• Out of the blue, helped some younger members of my company with some work – ala Pete.
He had an impact on so many of us – I guess the best way forward for us is to figure out how to incorporate some of what made him a great person into what we do each day
brian
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sister
Social climber
nj
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Aug 27, 2007 - 09:51pm PT
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thanks to everyone who has written and continue to write on this blog -- especially those who have provided updates -- I find myself almost addicted to this forum ... coming back nightly to close out the day. ... Molly, I hope you and Bravery Avery are able to find some times of joy in Finland ... I know Pete is so joyful you are there with Sally to share her wonderful day. Candles are lit in NJ ... Love always ... Martha (Absolon) Delehanty
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 27, 2007 - 11:17pm PT
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Hi Everyone....
For those who might be in the Minneapolis, Minnesota area on Saturday, November 10, 2007...there will be a Catholic Mass said for Pete at Our Lady of Grace Church 5071 Eden Avenue Edina, Minnesota 5:15 pm. You are invited.
This special Mass is being offered by my husband, Bill Herber's Family.
Let me know if you are coming.
Love,
Mary Therese Absolon
Pete's sister
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Janeen
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 27, 2007 - 11:27pm PT
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A candle is lit for Pete tonight in Tucson. We miss you Pete and send our love to Molly and Avery.
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mingus
Trad climber
Grand Junction, Colorado
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Aug 28, 2007 - 02:12am PT
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I come to this thread at least twice a day. From the first word I heard of Pete's passing, my mind swirls back into him, and I imagine what life is like for Molly and Avery.
I really want Finland to take them to a place where their hearts get to breathe for a moment. From my distant perspective, I can't imagine a more fortutious bit of travel on the heels of something so hard.
Maybe I shouldn't have written in again, but I just wanted to let you know Molly, that I am also lighting candles at night for Pete, you and Avery. For some reason, everytime I strike the match I think of two things...first -- I remember Steve Madsen getting really mad at me for some 'transpo' violation and then, I think of that day in the Absoraka's when we all sipped tea from the little stainless steel thermos before skiing off the ridge and down into all those damn snowmobile tracks. The view of the Tetons was what everyone who lives in Wyoming would expect -- fantastic. My feet were cold as heck, no one fell, and we all celebrated another weekend of backcountry skiing in the big empty. As I recall Pete was my 'spotting' partner along with Johnny K. in case I got buried. I can't imagine a better pair of people to have on the other end of avalanche trancievers than those two.
prayers, peace and love, Eric M
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Aug 28, 2007 - 08:01am PT
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I am so glad people are still checking this site because it was so helpful for me to come to it today and hear from people... I have these moments where I feel like I've been punched in the stomach and I cannot breath when I realize Pete is gone forever. I am just so scared and lonely and Avery is both a great source of strength and work. She is happy and having fun and I need to be strong for her. But I also need to be weak and grieve.
Why don't they release the name of the rock thrower? Does anyone else think that is strange? I have been so angry by the subtle implication that Pete was engaged in a risky activity and that his death was just one of the inherent risks of that choice. Even the juxtaposition of articles in last week's Casper Star Tribune ("Rock thrower won't face charges" next to "Risk Takers") seem to reinforce this subliminal message that Pete was a risk taker and that this rock thrower was just a young guy doing what young guys do... oh and we should all feel okay about it because he did the right thing by admitting he threw the rock, and because did two tours of duty in Iraq. I appreciate that he did the right thing, but I think he should be held accountable for his actions nonetheless. Or am I acting like the deranged widow (which I am) and simply being irrational? What would have happened if someone was siting his or her rifle and shot and killed someone, even if he or she did not face charges, wouldn't the name be in the papers? Don't people throwing rocks look first? I know Pete did.
I am ranting now. It is raining and cold but beautiful here. I miss you all. Thanks for those of you who continue to post. I feel the connection....
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Lynn Iler
climber
Providence, RI
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Aug 28, 2007 - 10:53am PT
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Hi Molly,
It is good to be able to "talk" to you now. I have come back to this site at least once a day since the memorial service. That service was amazing. I am glad you are with family in Finland. I will be thinking of you when you return home to Lander. I cannot imagine your exhaustion, and yet, you are still so articulate with expressing your emotions. I think that will help you and Avery a lot as you grapple with this over the years.
I have called several old friends from Berkeley and from other past lives of mine just to say hi. I even called some friends locally whom we always say we will get together with. We have made plans to get together, finally. I have hugged my family a little harder and longer and more frequently everyday.
I have thought about you frequently and I hope you find peace as you mourn the loss of Pete. I can only say how sorry I am. It seems so random and senseless. I have thought about the thrower and how stupid it/he was. I do not know why they would not release his name. I am not sure it would help make the act any less unimaginable or easier to cope with. It is harder that this was at the hands of someone else and not an accident or mishap. I cannot believe how one stupid act has changed so many lives forever. If only...
My heart breaks for you and Avery.
My love goes out to you.
-Lynn
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hiemstra
climber
La Porte, CO
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Aug 28, 2007 - 02:39pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
We are sorry to hear of your loss. Our condolences.
Chris, Theresa, and Adeline
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Michelle L. Escudero
climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 28, 2007 - 04:51pm PT
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Molly-
We miss you so much here. I'm really sad today. I spent the better part of last night looking at the slide show from the memorial over and over again. I love looking at Pete's eyes and seeing your smile.
Is there a phone number that I could call you in Findland? If so, send me the number and the best time to call you. I don't want to be a pest or a way too needy friend. My email is .
Michelle E.
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3rd sister
Social climber
Montpelier, Vermont
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Aug 28, 2007 - 05:28pm PT
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Molly,
Michelle captured just how I'm feeling as well...
I keep listening to the music from the slide show or looking at pictures of Pete around our house (I'm not sure I can look at the slide show right now...) or trying to come up with ways of helping you and Avery even though that is mostly just to help me feel like I'm doing something productive and not just drifting through the days, feeling so sad and alone. I can't even think who to call... (virginia woolf: "but one only woke people if one knew what one wanted to say to them. and she wanted to say not one thing, but everything...").
sending you both lots of love and thanks to everyone who keeps posting here, I too keep coming back to it in search of comfort.
Ann
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skm
Sport climber
Cody, WY
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Aug 28, 2007 - 06:11pm PT
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Molly,
I was cleaning up my office a few minutes ago and found your letter and picture collage from this spring. I was so happy to find it as last week as I searched for it I feared I had thrown it away. It is now on the wall next to my computer where I am looking over you and Avery and of course Pete. My favorite picture is the one of Pete with his hands raised next to Avery in what looks like a cheer for some kid at the playground. I am simultaneously very sad when I look at the pictures of you all and also grateful for the times that I shared with the two and then the three of you.
I was mad too the other day when I read the article about the rock thrower. Why indeed? Although a name won't change things it somehow feels like it might add a layer of reality to the situation which I think would help in the grieving. Molly it is absolutely ok for you to be and to feel any way you do right now. I am here to help in any way I can and am anxious for your return to Wyoming as you take your next steps. Reach out to all of us and know that even if you don't reach out we will reach in.
love,
Sharon
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Andy Blair
climber
Lander
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Aug 28, 2007 - 06:56pm PT
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Hey Molly,
Lander is missing you and Avery. We think about you all the time.
Like so many people, I keep coming back to this site. It makes me feel a little closer to you and Avery and a little closer to Pete. From reading your postings, it sounds like it gives you some solace too.
You have been such a dear friend over the years. Your family has taught me a great deal. You all have been my role models for friendship, for climbing, for working and for parenting. I kept watching you and Pete and Avery to try and learn some of the secrets you all seemed to have found out about how to do all these things so well.
I hope some enjoyable moments have come your way on your trip to Findland.
I'm in the midst of trying to learn my new job at WMI and be productive. I just got my blood drawn to see if I have the West Nile. I'll know in a couple of days. I just had my exit interview with Bruce this morning. I'm trying to help Jacki keep from going nuts over Malaika's incessant nursing. In the midst of this I keep you all in my heart.
See you soon.
Andy
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Dorsey
climber
East Lansing, MI
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Aug 28, 2007 - 07:43pm PT
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Hi Molly -
I, too, check this site daily and somehow get a strange 'fix' of comfort from it. I'm back in East Lansing, a place that still feels strange to me. But I'm taking a lesson from you and Pete - I need to more actively create my new community here, to be more generous and thoughtful (as the one man at the service also pledged.)
One the drive from Lander to Salt Lake, Diane and I called and talked to Hillary and Virginia. In Salt Lake, I spent a few hours with Susie. And then, after I got back to Michigan, Tom Post called to ask about Pete's memorial service. Your Kent family is rallying around you from afar and we're hatching our Molly Plans.
We're all here for you. We're all thinking of you. Near or far - doesn't matter. We're thinking of you and Avery.
Love, Dorsey
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EleanorH
climber
Anchorage AK
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Aug 28, 2007 - 09:05pm PT
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Dear Molly
I too end up here each day to somehow help me feel closer to you, closer to Pete and to all of the incredible people his life has touched.
I downloaded the beautiful black and white photo of you, Pete and Avery for everyone here in Alaska last night. We were all laughing/crying and ultimately fighting about whether or not Pete would want us to light a candle for him each day or if he would rather us shoot a gun itnot he air(Willy Peabody of course!)Pete is certainly laughing at us.
All my love and see you soon-Eleanor
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 28, 2007 - 10:09pm PT
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hey there dear molly and the rest of pete and molly's family...
say, i just got this gut feeling to come here today, and i read of your hurt from the rock-throwers name not being released... and the risk-taker stuff...
say, perhaps this may help some--dont know:
i have been listening to radio stations off and on in the evening... as i have no tv..etc... and it seem that there are folks out there that have had injustices and somehow--by SHEER gut and determination, they have pushed onward to contacing some kind of media that can help them, and let them tell their story... and in this way--shed TRUTH on who their loved one was, and that their name not be slandered... and, they have in this way, by talking on various talk shows (credible ones) about questions as to "why this, or that".... (course, one must ask and seek around and find credible talk shows to visit on) and, if you can even publish a book, with donation, or some other funds, and try the self publish way, you will have more to show of the credibilty of your husbands's work----or SAY, PERHAPS if you can even get folks from the work that he did, to come and talk with you, and stand by you...
or, if you are not yet up, to it, pray please pray for strength... the main thing is to get this OUT INTO THE OPEN, and not let it be forgotten.... folks should be accountable for their actions... rock climbing is by now a long established profession and past time---no one should be ignorant of what dangers can befall another, uder a cliff...whether that person is a climber, or even a walker--just below...
it is very hard, i really do know... but now is the time to pursue, but with a CALM heart, there is a way---you must find it, and i will be praying for you...
i have really seen folks, reach many others, and at least this may in turn shine more light on who the thrower was, and perhaps this will led to stricker laws, to save others...
you may power in your hands and in your heart that only YOU posess... write or call newspaper, magazines, radios, sponsors, or who and whatever you can think of.... famouse folks, perhaps, that may come to bat for you?....
maybe even famouse folks you dont know, that respect rock climging... i'm just taking shots in the dark here...
i willl keep praying for you and your family, love so much, neebee--just an ol' mom and grandma that has seen a lot of unjust things in the lives of my friends....
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 28, 2007 - 10:24pm PT
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hey there molly... say, as to the city of landers... is this where you and pete lived, or were from?
is there anyway that the there is someone... or could you send out for sponsors or donations, as to someone making a huge memorial site, some kind of buiding, statue, etc... or anything dedicated to victims of such crimes... and also, towards his work--- and towards those that die needeless to purposeful-rock-throwing....
in this way, media attentions could be drawn to the dedications and you could push this very serious cause each year, and make it grow? ....
could there be some way to do this... this would help keep this in the news and keep folks to be warned that this wrong...
oh, well... just trying to think of someway to help you... will keep praying... one day, something will fall into place...
god bless, once again... ask the good lord to hold your hand and be the glory and the lifter of your head.... and to encompass you children... love neebee... who is very sad for your loss....
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Aug 29, 2007 - 12:10am PT
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Dear Molly-
Once again I find myself here at this site, missing you and Avery, missing Pete and just feeling so sad. I keep listening to Calling All Angels from the slideshow... and then I cry some more.
I like reading what people have written again, especially now that I've met so many of them and can see their faces as I read. I'm so glad that people keep writing and sharing their stories. You and Pete have both touched so many people's lives, which sounds a little hokey, but clearly it's true.
I love you-
Cornelia (Molly's older sister)
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sally
climber
Finland
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Aug 29, 2007 - 09:15am PT
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thanks for the contact. Since I can't access my email here, this is a way for me to maintain some connection with Pete and my community, and I miss you all.
It is interesting to be around Avery. Pete is still very present for her in a way that can be tricky for me. She is happy and easy in her adventures right now. I'm much sadder, slower, heavier in my heart and it's raining and cold... So sometimes her joy can help me and at other times it is hard for me... Those times when I need to be sad and cry.
thanks for writing. love to you all.
molly
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IFBIker
Trad climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 29, 2007 - 10:03am PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
It has been almost a week since I left you two. I miss you both very much and think about you constantly. Christina and I lit a candle for Pete the other night and we both cried. I am glad you have Avery. Those days I spent with you two were sad and wonderful. I wish I could give you both a big hug. I hope to see you sometime soon.
Love,
Teddy
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IFBIker
Trad climber
Charleston, WV
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Aug 29, 2007 - 10:24am PT
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I am finally getting around to posting what I read at Pete's memorial. It has been hard for me to come back to this site. I miss him very much.
I am honored to be able to stand up in front of so many who loved Pete and tell you what he meant to our family and me.
Somebody asked me today what Pete was like as a brother in law. All I can say is he was great. He was like taking all of the qualities I would want in a best friend and making him family.
Yesterday, our families had the chance to gather and talk about Pete. In a moment of silence, with my eyes closed, I saw Pete's face and it comforted me. And being in this canyon today among these rock walls, surrounded by friends and family, I know Pete is with us. I look forward to seeing Pete in Avery as she grows from a little girl into a young woman. And the next time Molly and I venture out on a ski, Pete will be with us.
I had many firsts with Pete. I would guess there are several here today that could say the same thing. For me, these included my first lead climb, my first backcountry ski, and my first big summit climb. What struck me most about these firsts was Pete's ability to give so much of himself freely and with such joy. I sensed that Pete not only enjoyed the adventure, but also the opportunity to share the time with me.
Pete always seemed to be willing to give so much, whether it was the gear somebody needed, or the right sequence for the climb, or even making sure he brought the keg for the family ski vacation. Pete had this quiet ability to know what was needed in a situation, often before any of us did.
Over these last few days while sharing stories and memories of Pete, I have learned something about myself. I have learned that I can practice thoughtfulness and generosity, which came so easily to Pete, and does not come easily to me. This is what Pete has left to me in his dying.
To you Molly and little Aves, I know that there are lots of firsts to come, many that you never counted on doing without Pete. I will be there with Avery and you for some of these firsts and I know that many of your friends and family here today will be there for others. We will provide you with all of the love and support we have.
And finally to you Pete, your work is not done. Fall is approaching and I know you have not forgotten the importance of Sundays. Maybe you can use some of your newfound pull in getting our Cowboys back to the Super Bowl!
I love you.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 29, 2007 - 02:15pm PT
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hey there all... say, i lost my post, so this may go twice, or not ... not sure...
say, there, crock... say, thanks for posting this link for everyone, and for molly....
say, as to the statement of this young man:
"You just wish there was something you could do to help them," said Aaron Rodolph, his eyes red and his voice cracking. "And you know in your heart there is nothing you can do."
PERHAPS he would be the the one to start looking into and finding a way to make a building, or monument dedicated to Pete, and these folks that have DIED needlessly in these ways... it would then be seen statewide, to keep a light always shining in the eyes of the public, so that this warning will live on...
as folks can forgive, and need to forgive, so thus, the good book ALSO says:
bring forth FRUIT with your repentance, and if this young man is truly sorry, it would be an equal deed to do all he can in his power--which would NULLIFY his "nothing you can do" and turn it into something that MAY help safe other lives, by informing the neglegent tendencies of man/woman/kids as to being responsible for their actions.... like: no man is an island.... actions connected, by the waves they stir, moving from one body, to another....
only the future will tell, if Pete's lost live can help others have a better chance than he did---it could be done....
will this young man that caused his death, dare to try to help his widow... perhaps would he even dare to try to help with a college fund for the kids left behind...
dear lord, as we pray, a sincere repentance, could bring this fruit... only time will tell, and molly will be the one to see...
god bless all... i did not mean any harm to anyone saying all this... but some kind of seeds need to be sown, from this sorrow...
***if the young man involved does take to read this--please understand--this kind of memorial MUST be done, with all glory and honor going to the INNOCENT and the loved ones lives to be spot-lighted... not the one that needs to help, from a damage caused... (said in kindness)...
*also, perhaps you could set aside time to go and travel to national parks, schools, colleges, etc, and do public service to speak on this issue, and carelessnes, etc--this, too, may help save lives... god bless, if you should endeavor to do this, as it fits the situation, as to widom....
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Nate Furman
climber
Salt Lake City, UT
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Aug 29, 2007 - 03:05pm PT
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Hi all,
I miss Pete.
I knew Pete as a friend, mentor, supervisor, and climbing partner up in Sinks Canyon. His energy was inspirational; his grin and wry sense of humor always cheered me. I remember Pete often showing Avery off at work, or taking her up to Sinks and setting up the rope swing. Watching him with her made me long to be a father. A group of folks would rendezvous up in Sinks in the afternoon, and we'd take turns spending time with Avery while Pete climbed or belayed. She seemed so comfortable up there, hanging out with the friends of her father and relishing the opportunity to take a pendulum on the rope swing.
I first met Pete when he was the assistant director of the RM. He welcomed me into NOLS, and into the climbing program. I remember talking to him at length after my first mountaineering course; he was so psyched for me. Then I got my first chance to climb with him and was amazed watching how fluidly he ran up the rock. And how happy he was doing it. He was in his element. I climbed better with a Pete belay. Somehow his energy rubbed off on his climbing partners, and helped them climb better and enjoy it more.
At one point, when Pete was in the staffing office, NOLS started doing criminal background checks. There was uh..."something" on my record that we had to discuss. The nature of the "something" was somewhat humiliating, yet nonetheless it was easy to talk to Pete about it. Of course, every now and again, Pete would tease me about it in an entirely appropriate way that made both of us laugh. He was like that...you could share yourself, both the proud moments and maybe the not-so-proud moments, with Pete and it just felt good. He cared very much for the people in his community.
The service for Pete was incredibly beautiful and terribly hard. It was tremendous seeing so many people come together to remember a great human. Thank you for organizing the service, everyone.
I'll miss Pete. He was a "staple" in my life--one of those people you count on to be there, that I saw infrequently but looked forward to seeing every time. I'm so sorry he's gone, but I'm so glad he lived an amazing life. He deserved it.
Molly and Avery, I think of you at least ten times every day. My heart is broken for you. If there is anything that I can ever do please let Jess and I know.
Be well,
Nate Furman
Salt Lake City
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alars
Social climber
Tucson, AZ
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Aug 29, 2007 - 03:23pm PT
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I learned this news the night before leaving for our own trip to Scandinavia - Norway - and posted a fast note just to get some of the disbelief out. Now I've had two weeks to process and I have more thoughts, Molly. You and Pete were two people who I looked up to for years, first when I was the kid working at the climbing shop and then when I was a seasonal employee at NOLS. You probably don't remember me, and that's fine with me. But please know that you made an impression.
In June 1997, I sat and ate lunch at the Noble with Pete and some of the other RMB summer staffers. We talked about - duh - climbing. Climbing in Sinks Canyon. Climbing in the Winds. And finally, climbing in the Tetons. He talked vividly about The Grand, describing in detail both the Exum and Owen-Spaulding routes. He gave flawless beta, down to advising extra caution while climbing the icy chimney where Alan Bard died just days later. I sat in rapt attention, listening to this man who so clearly loved mountains. Ten years later, I realize that the thrill of sharing the mountains with others meant as much to him as experiencing them himself.
I read the interview with the rock thrower. I'm sick to my stomach. That man will have to live for the rest of his life with the knowledge that one stupid impulse took Pete from you and Avery. I cannot imagine his suffering any more than I can imagine yours, Molly.
You have spoken of your fear that Avery will forget Pete. Impossible. None of us will.
Be well.
Alicia
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Christina Armbrecht
Social climber
WV
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Aug 29, 2007 - 03:55pm PT
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Hi Molly...
know no other way of getting in touch right now....
know that i think of you so many times every day i can't count them...
you are being held and loved by so many and right now by me....
loving,
christina
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Aug 29, 2007 - 04:34pm PT
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From AP today
Veteran remorseful for throwing rock that killed climber
Associated Press
Originally published 02:01 p.m., August 29, 2007
Updated 02:01 p.m., August 29, 2007
CASPER, Wyo. — Tears in his eyes, an Iraq war veteran recounted for the first time publicly the desperate remorse he felt after tossing a large rock off a cliff that killed a climber below.
“I’d do anything to change it,” 23-year-old Luke Rodolph said Tuesday.
On Aug. 11, Rodolph was sitting on the rim of a canyon with three others when he picked up a 15- to 20-pound rock the size of a bowling ball and looked over the edge. He said he didn’t see anyone below.
“I picked up a rock and threw it off,” he said. “Looked over just a little further to watch it fall, see where it was going to hit, you know, kinda leaned out further than what I was comfortable with normally, and watched it hit Pete Absolon.”
There was no time for a warning, Rodolph said. He said he didn’t see Absolon, 47, until the rock struck him in the head.
The group called 911 on a cell phone, then rushed down to Leg Lake Basin. Steve Hirlihy, a National Outdoor Leadership School instructor, had been climbing with Absolon, the school’s Rocky Mountain director, and asked Rodolph and his group what had happened.
“Luke looked him dead in the eye and said, ‘I threw it,’” said his brother, Aaron Rodolph, who was with him. “I’ll never forget, as long as I live, that Steve looked Luke dead back in the eyes and said, ‘I forgive you for that’.”
Absolon, who had a wife and daughter, had been climbing with Hirlihy along a new route up the cliff face of Leg Lake Cirque in the Wind River Mountains near Lander.
“It’s unbearable for them to have to go through this. It’s my fault,” Luke Rodolph said.
He stayed with Hirlihy and Absolon’s body in the basin overnight while the rest of the group went back to their campsite.
“Steve and I just talked for a while, sat around the campfire,” Rodolph said. “I told him I’d go into town with him and talk with the sheriff and give him a statement, and whatever happens, happens.”
The morning after Absolon’s death, Rodolph and Hirlihy hiked out of the area to Lander. Later that day, Rodolph spoke with Fremont County Attorney Ed Newell and an investigator before returning to his home in Casper.
Absolon’s body was recovered the same day.
Eleven days later, Newell announced that Rodolph would not be charged. He cited several factors in his decision, including the fact that Rodolph took responsibility for his actions, was extremely remorseful, didn’t intend to cause harm, had no criminal history and served in Iraq.
In an e-mail to the Casper Star-Tribune, Absolon’s widow, Molly, said she didn’t have a comment on Newell’s decision not to charge Rodolph.
Gary Wilmot, an instructor at the National Outdoor Leadership School, said that while he feels compassion for Rodolph, throwing a rock from a cliff is irresponsible.
“We recognize that he is hurting, but we are also working on filling a big void in our community and a family here in Lander,” Wilmot said.
© 2006 Daily Camera and Boulder Publishing, LLC.
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Aug 29, 2007 - 04:40pm PT
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We're trying to put together an event at Seneca Rocks in Pete"s memory. The question is whether to try a weekend in October before the annual party at the Gendarme or wait until November.
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Landerite
Mountain climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 29, 2007 - 06:42pm PT
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When I told my son about Pete's death he got pretty angry and said how bad this was. I pointed out that "WE trundle rocks sometimes" and his quick response was "Yeah, but we make absolutely positively sure that nobody is on or under the cliff, every single time. No exceptions." He's 12.
I think Luke Rodolph ought to make a documentary to post on Youtube that says exactly what he did, that it was reckless behavior, and what the horrible consequences were. Maybe that will temper some kid's judgment some day and save an innocent victim.
I don't care how many tours he did in Iraq. I expect a veteran to be calm, cool and collected and not to do stupid stuff like this.
I'd also like to thank the guy for finally going public and actually apologizing. But don't expect to get invited to dinner or anything.
John Gookin
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Wallace Boever
Social climber
Lincoln
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Aug 29, 2007 - 07:33pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery, we visited Lander for the first time this August. Our daughter is attending the first class at Wyoming Catholic College. Because the students were taking a 21 day trek through the Wind River Mountains led by NOLS, we stopped at NOLS on August 7th to get a first hand look at things. Though Pete was with some visitors from an outside agency, he came up to us, introduced himself and gave us a guided tour. He listened to our questions and took the time to answer every one. At the end of our visit we asked what role he played at NOLs and we were amazed that someone in his capacity would take the time that he did with us. He then told us about his daughter, Avery. We are deeply saddened by your loss. Please be assured of our prayers for you and Avery and the NOLS community. Wallace and Katy Boever
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mdcheek
climber
wyoming
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Aug 29, 2007 - 07:52pm PT
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Molly and Avery, I keep coming back to this thread over and over and it's taken me this long to write someting, to write anything. Still I can't find the words to write what I really want to say to both of you, and to Pete, so I'll just have to tell a story for now, another story of a trip into the mountains with Pete. Our objective was the South Buttress Right on Mt. Moran in the Tetons. We started by paddling a decrepit inflatable kayak across Leigh Lake that leaked and listed badly to one side. In what must have been a comical scene we arrived at the mouth of Leigh Canyon, two thirty-something men and a bunch of climbing and camping gear sitting in an inflatable boat really meant for one person, up to their waists in water. Pete just chuckled, it didn't seem to matter at all to him that the thing might not get us back across the lake, we were already where the climbing was, we could worry about getting back later.
The next day was classic Pete, early start, brisk pace on the approach, Pete brimming with energy. Of course he offered me the lead when we got to the crux pitch but ultimately it was Pete on the 5.11a tips lieback, oozing water, tenuous smears on polished rock, and only a couple small TCU's for pro. And of course he made it look easy. I was pretty psyched that I only fell once following. Pete's only critique of the route was it wasn't long enough.
We did manage to paddle back across the lake in that stupid inflatable kayak and got stormed out of the mountains the next day but before we got back to Lander we'd climbed a few routes on Blacktail Butte and some other crags, there was just never enough climbing in a weekend for Pete.
Pete, rest easy my friend, we will take good care of Molly and Aves. We miss you.
Molly and Avery, We are here for you now and will be here for you in the days ahead. don't hesitate to lean on us, we need you too.
peace, love and strength to you all, you are in my thoughts constantly. Michael
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 29, 2007 - 10:52pm PT
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hey there all... just a small note, as to roxjox post-- this is a very kind and humble thing that one could and should choose to do for a family... in the good book, it is mentioned as well...
i must share, but just as bit, as i seek to be polite to all... but i did get a note in my email from a friend of the man involved, politley mentioning that i may have posted to harshly, as to the "restitution" --as if i did not believe the young man had sorrows, too...
i am sorry if he felt that i had judged him--i did not mean it to sound that way, as no one can-or-should judge the inner heart of a man--BUT:
i did judge rightly, that a repentative heart, DOES find a way to bring forth GOOD fruit, as to making a change in the wrong that was done... this is only true and just before god and man...
i did reply as kind as possible--i still feel that it is proper, though, when one does face their actions with sincere sorrows, to REACH OUT to help "pave the way" for others in the future by doing something to "seed" some kind of "good to come" from the wrong... (this does not mean they have to contact the sad family, etc, as this may not be proper, etc....but i mean it as to helping others NOT make these mistakes..)
if it appeared that i "threw a rock" on an innocent party below me, i do appologize and i will not speak more on this issue--BUT:
i do still STAND by my words, as i have seen healed lives come out of helping the future of others to take better courses.... and wisdom, does bring forth fruits to TEACH others of good ways to walk in... that is why we teach our children to take care in their dicisions, etc... how else will folks learn...
and lastly, i too, do forgive the young man, AS he wondered if if was able... forgiveness is very special to god...as the good lord has forgiven me, when i gave my heart to him...
bringing forth good fruit, by repententive-sorrows, is never wrong... i truly will pray that someday, that there will some kind of proper, good, teaching-memorial to keep this in the eyes of others--this is too dangerous and wrong to be ignored...
other good issues in life, regarded teaching preventative safty, concerning all kinds of sports, situations, etc, all becuase someone cared to reach out....
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 30, 2007 - 12:22am PT
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A loving husband is gone....
A wife mourns & suffers pain.....
A father is lost......
A daughter wants her daddy.....
A family is altered forever.....
A community looses a friend and contributor...
An organization looses a leader & worker.....
An individual remorses for a grave error.....
How will society respond?
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Mark Johnson
climber
Seattle, WA
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Aug 30, 2007 - 10:26am PT
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Like so many I have returned to this forum repeatedly but keep not finding the words to express myself.
So hard to accept the facts of this accident.
I remember one winter as a newer instructor working a winter course with Pete and Molly. It was a delight to observe their married teamwork and a fun trip. Another time on a personal trip with Pete in the Tetons in winter we had just climbed Teewinot and were hiking across a plateau heading towards Mt. Owen. The wind was just cranking. Pete the veteran, I and another climber psyched to be included. From time to time I was asking Pete questions about my upcoming trip to Denali's West Rib. We came to a committing, critical rappel. I kept waiting for more experienced Pete to say something as we went about rigging it. Eventually I wondered aloud about the high winds, we discussed it, and we all agreed to bail. It ended up blowing 100 miles an hour that night. What I most remember about this was even though Pete had more experience and was in an unspoken sense the "leader" of the excursion, he waited for one of us to open the weather discussion. At the end of the trip, I asked Pete if he had any Denali advice. "Just keep climbing and making decisions like this weekend and you'll do fine on the West Rib" was his confidence inspiring answer.
Over subsequent outings both personal and professional I valued Pete as a leader, skilled outdoorsman, and example of how to conduct oneself with integrity and good humor.
What a terrible loss of a fine man.
I am thankful for my experiences with Pete.
Molly I wish you strength.
Mark Johnson
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Andrew Morley
Boulder climber
Boulder, Colorado
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Aug 30, 2007 - 10:32am PT
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Molly,
I wanted to let you know that I sent an email to you yesterday via Sally’s email address. I am thinking about you, Avery and Pete all of the time. I am filled with such sadness for all of you and your families, but particularly for you, my very dear friend. I wish that I were there in Finland to give you a big, long hug, but I’m not, so please know that I am sending you all of my love, prayers and hugs. I too keep coming back to this forum, and am glad it is able to provide some small comfort during such a sad time. We said a prayer for you, Avery and Pete in our church in Boulder on Sunday – I cried for all of you.
I wanted to say to any reporters reading these posts that this forum has provided and continues to provide a place where friends and family can grieve, remember and comfort one another for the loss of a wonderful human being. And while this is an open forum, I think it is important to be respectful of the purpose of this forum and to not publish any of the comments in this forum unless you obtain the consent of Molly, her family or Pete’s family. Enough said.
Molly, all my love and prayers are with you, Avery, Pete and your families.
Andrew
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Crag
Trad climber
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Aug 30, 2007 - 11:48am PT
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Seneca crew - a bunch of us are heading to Seneca on October 11th and will stay through the weekend. This is the only time I/we have to make the trip. If anyone else is going to be there that weekend and wants to toast a few to our mentor Pete you’ll find us on the Front Porch.
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Evel
Trad climber
Nederland
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Aug 30, 2007 - 04:55pm PT
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Wow. Molly, we've never met but please know that I feel awful about Pete. Pete gave me a chance when I was just a kid, the punk who hung around at the Gendarme pestering all of the 'hardmen' to please go climbing. He was the guy who said "let's go!". We were never the best of friends, but I had, and still have a deep respect and admiration for him. What an unfathomable loss. I am so so sad. When I got the news, it felt like a punch to the gut. My Deepest Sympathy goes out to you and Avery. Sincerly, Eric Mix
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Bigdirtball
Trad climber
crozet
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Aug 30, 2007 - 07:11pm PT
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Hi Molly and Avery,
I’m sure we passed like ships in the night. Here are some snapshots from “back in the day” for you….most are Seneca-centric.
I see Pete, one bright summer morning, drinking from a puddle near the Southern Pillar. Incredulous, I am informed that this spring is O.K…. Thereafter I referred to it as Pete’s spring. Gene would give me sh#t about this as we filled our nalgenes at the spring… accusing me of hero worship……in retrospect, may be so.
Mike Cote coasts into the Gendarme one hot afternoon and drops his pack with a resounding thump. “New route”, he says. “Where?”….”to the right of Terminal Velocity”….”Pete led it”….”how was it?” “a death route…small wires…not a chance if you blow it”
A cold morning, we descend into the Reflector Oven at the Rag. There is a skiff of snow on the ledges. Wide awake after the hideous hike and the morning bake, I am astonished to see someone on Krakon. It is Pete…..he’s in the alcove below the technical crux. He boulders up to the crack, down climbs, boulders up, down climbs….he is berating himself. He boulders up again and, reaching high, sticks a cam in the crack. Instantly, he flashes through to a friction stance 15’ higher…..I mean flash….. I mean in seconds…..just a blur of arms and legs. Later in the day, we pass……”2 ½ friend man, place it and your in there”. I remember being flattered from beta I would probably never use.
What is so rare as day in June…. On the east face of the South Peak, it is 3:00, the sun has crossed the fin….the rock is shaded but still warm. The sky is so blue, the valley is so green. We are working on some idea that there might be a line above Castor. I am slumped on a rock in a small cloud of weed, chalk, and garlic. Uncle Ed appears to be standing on nothing, well above the gear, as usual, “watch me” my gaze pans across Broadway as I look up….and, here comes Pete. He is slinging trees, marching forward, leading his clients to wherever. He pauses at my position, looks up at Ed, looks back at me, we smile, his that curious half-smile… and we say nothing. Nothing needs to be said.
I never knew Pete as a father, husband, Nols persona etc.. We all knew him as a climber whose physical and psychological skills were in a class that contained a very few people.
It should be some consolation to you, Molly, that chance killed Pete. IT would be truly unbelievable if poor judgment was the culprit.
The collective memories of the Seneca dogs, if focused, would almost generate a holographic image.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 30, 2007 - 11:52pm PT
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For those who are following the writings on this blog, you know that Pete's nephew, Chris Herber, attended the NOLS Semester in Alaska course this past summer. It was a highlight in his life. Pete chose the course and Pete was instrumental in chosing the instructors - it was fantastic! Chris wants more.....
Our sadness is not being able to talk with Pete about this life experience on our way to the University of Denver from Minneapolis as we were thinking that a Lander stop would be in order for some Uncle-Nephew sharing.
You will not be suprised to learn that Chris will be leaving for Mount Rainier next week for a mountaineering trek. He tells me he is trying to figure out a name for the expedition....stay tuned....& I have a feeling Pete theme will be a guiding light.
Pete....be a rock for my son as he mountaineers Rainier...
Love, Mary
Pete's sister
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sally
climber
Finland
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Aug 31, 2007 - 06:06am PT
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I keep seeing rainbows. It began two weeks before Pete's death, when the three of us took a backpacking trip into Leg Lake Cirque. I remember being so proud of watching Avery jumping from boulder to boulder and rock hopping across streams. She seemed so comfortable in her environment and it made me happy to think of how she'd learned to love the natural world from us. I remember Pete kept having to fish every puddle and pond we passed, which kind of drove me crazy because I wanted to get to camp and drop my pack. And I remember the rainbows—two full double rainbows arcing over the cliffs around Leg Lake. I hadn't seen a rainbow in ages.
Two weeks later, Michelle, Jagoe, our daughters and I went back to our land to leave the beautiful flowers that so many of you sent to us after news of Pete's death. We spread the flowers about, including piling up a bunch on what I'll always think of now as Pete's rock. That little mound of sandstone from which he'd make his speeches. Speeches that kind of embarrassed me at the time, but now make me so proud and sad at the same time. Anyway, as we were sitting on the slickrock and we saw another rainbow. Now I've seen two here in Finland. I'm not sure what to make of them. I'm not sure if they are comforting or ominous. But they seem to be following me.
I was told to write down memories of Pete, but it is hard to do that when the person you are remembering is basically part of you. Pete was my best friend, my climbing partner (more like my guide), my traveling buddy, the father of my beautiful daughter, my confidante, and my lover. So I think instead of what I'm thankful for... I am thankful we got to climb Pingora car-to-car this summer and had the peak to ourselves, cold beer waiting for us back at the truck after 13 hours. I am thankful we rode the Needles Highway in the Black Hills together on our road bikes. I'm thankful Pete donned a tuxedo with a candy pink cumberbund and tie to dance to 'My Girl' and "Ain't no mountain high enough" in Avery's dance recital. I'm thankful that we ate dinner together almost every night and sometimes remembered to pause and give thanks for our health and happiness. I am thankful that Pete never lost patience with my loss of patience. I thankful that he had the strength and desire to take me places I would never have gone without him: Polar Circus, East Temple Spire, Mt. Chardonnett, etc.
I love hearing stories of him. It helps me smile a little bit between the tears. Thank you all.
Molly
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Tedro
Mountain climber
Newport, Rhode Island
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Aug 31, 2007 - 08:07am PT
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Molly,
I only met Pete once many years ago. You brought him to a party at my parents house in West Virginia. I remember very clearly being struck by what a positive, optimistic person he was. I liked Pete immediately. I read these postings and I can see that my first impressions were right on. Obviously, Pete was a big positive force in the world through which he moved. I am sorry I didn't get to know Pete better.
But I do know you, Molly. I know what a strong, optimistic, capable person you are. I know this must be what drew Pete to you. Be strong now Molly. Carry yourself through this terrible tragedy.
As we all are, I will be thinking of you and sending strength your way.
Ted Platz
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MWhite
Social climber
Lander
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Aug 31, 2007 - 10:24am PT
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Hello dear Molly and Avery so far away
It's been such a sad week for me. I miss you two being here in Lander and look forward to your return. Yet, I am glad that you decided to get away for a while and found the strength to do that.
I continue to struggle with finding words to express myself. I feel such anguish that you've lost your great love, and still wake up in disbelief that this tragedy is true.
I think of you often, and will do better to let you know how often you are in my heart. You are an incredibly strong woman, Molly. I know that someday you'll emerge from the depths of your despair. It will be a hard expedition, a journey of challenges and uncertainty, and I and many, many others are going to be beside you as you navigate this new terrain.
But for now, just breath and move to the next moment. That's enough. And know that we're ready in Lander to welcome you home with open arms, hearts and homes.
Love,
Missy
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meggers.
Mountain climber
Newport Beach
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Aug 31, 2007 - 01:00pm PT
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Molly,
I've been thinking of you every day. I have no idea how you are getting through this, but I KNOW you are getting through this. I keep thinking about your broad smille, your fierce intelligence and the deep love and enthusiasm you exude as a way of being. You were one of those couples that just exuded deep love of each other and a deep love of the world. Maybe better said your love for each other seemed to fuel this deep love of the world. And I suppose the reverse is equally true: your love of the world fueled your deep love for each other and Avery. With each person I talk about Pete's death with I say, "You know those couples where it's so clear they love each other, and put each other and their family above everything --above any accomplishment (of which there are many)--but a dedication to love, and the parts of life that matter? They were one of those couples. He was one of those men. And he (and you) one of those people who just FEEL so deeply good it is striking. Your life seems to celebrate the importance of the special small moments between people. You guys knew that. You didn't need death to remind you what the value of life was. You already knew. Which is what makes this all so particularly cruel.
There are certain memories that I keep cycling through and want to write them all down. I don't want to rush them, as I want to try to recall the detail of them and not be in such a flurry that I skip over something.
First of all the two of you were beautiful together. And I don't just mean physcially, but no doubt, that is OBVIOUS. Ok: Molly BEAUTIFUL. Pete: BEAUTIFUL. Avery: BEAUTIFUL. Molly: Gorgeous/HOT. Pete:Handsome/HOT. So much life exuding from both of you, all three of you. Your Christmas card: not some stiff portrait of a family in matching sweaters, but images that document this varied, stimulating, soulful life.
My memory that bubbles up: Avery's first Birthday party. And you and Pete standing at the center of it. First off: the card. Welcoming Avery and celebrating her first cycle around the earth. That said it all. Placing your and her very personal first 365 days in the context of the larger world. It was just a few days after September 11th. We gathered on your land, on that beautiful rock. And I remember Pete welcoming us all, placing the event in context of Avery, of the community of friends, of what was happening in the country. It was one of those moments that just blew me away. And it blew every other birthday party out of the water. It wasn't about some cake, or a creepy clown, or party favors. It was about your new family's understanding, that life is precious, fleeting, and that all the small moments matter. LIke REALLY matter.
You asked us each to bring a poem, or a song, or a story, or anything of significance of her to you. I remember Pete standing there, you standing next to him. And he just oozed love. And right in front of him was Avery in her darling white dress. Looking so girly and sweet and small. Like honoring tradition simultaneouldy combined with creating a party that matched the love of what mattered to you. Standing on that beautiful rock. And Avery was so engaged in it all. Like she was loving it. Like she was being held in this basket of love on this rock, and that her PARENTS were making that happen, creating that bowl of love that she will be held in her whole life. And I remember being struck by Pete. About his presence. This force: this kind, handsome, loving, unassuming yet powerful presence. And I remember thinking, I would never meet a more loving family who was embracing more clearly the richness of life.
And the sun set, and the food came out and the ceremony turned to easy conversation and easy laughter. And I felt so LUCKY to be there. So lucky to know you both.
And then I can't help of thinking about you now, in Finland, wondering how in the world that must be, at this time. I keep thinking about clouds, and weather it's cloudy place, a beautiful place, a beautiful place? Or a beautiful cloudy place?. I remember driving with John one time in Patagonia and he asked, which do you think is better, to feel terrible in a beautiful place or terrible in an ugly place? And I thought then, and do now, I think I would pick the beautiful place.
You know how when you are in Seattle and it's so cloudy, and it seems the world is full of clouds and gray? I think about how, every time I fly out of there, that there is this moment on the plane, that as you fly up, you break through the clouds, and it is nothing but bright sunlight streaming through the windows. But it's so easy to forget when I'm down in the streets of Seattle, where I have this idea that it will always be grey. And I think about that. That I imagine that you might feel the darkness, the clouds, not billowing happy ones, but sad heavy ones full of grief, and profound sadness. But in that same moment, right above us somewhere is bright light. We can't/don't have to be anywhere but where we are, other than right now, but there is sun somewhere above that all. And sometimes just the thought of that comforts me.
More later. My deepest love to you and Avery.
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meggers.
Mountain climber
Newport Beach
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Aug 31, 2007 - 01:02pm PT
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Wati I stupidly forgot to identify myself...
Meggers=Megan Griswold. I forgot to identify myself properly and didn't realize that dumb nickname I picked would be my name on this thing.
I'm an idiot.
xoxo
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KB lander
Trad climber
Lander
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Aug 31, 2007 - 09:25pm PT
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Dear Molly & Avery,
We are so excited and happy to see you both soon. The entire community has felt a bigger hole with you both gone. Of course, we continue to grieve and feel like a knee-to-the-stomach punch daily when we think about the loss of Pete. We miss him more than words can express, but, I'm assuming you hurt much more.
We can only imagine your sense of loss.
So, to move forward, we have an entire fall of activities, chores and adventures planned. In case you were not planning on staining the home, we are planning on it, in addition to coffee time, bike rides, long dinners and short cry sessions.
Please come home soon. We are waiting with hearts and arms open wide.
Peace, love & heart (that's the Canadian word for love) - KB
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3rd sister
Social climber
Montpelier, Vermont
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Molly,
I've never known rainbows to be ominous... to me they are about hope and magic and beauty, a bridge between this world and beyond, wherever beyond may be.
love,
Ann
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Dear Molly,
I hope that being at Sally's wedding gave you joy rather than making you more sad, and that Avery had fun being a flower girl.
It's a beautiful weekend here and while I still feel so sad, I keep seeing Pete's smiling face in my head, and that makes me cry AND smile.
Love you-
Cornelia
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Farm boy
climber
Dewey, OK
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Bless you and yours, Amy.
I hail from Torrington originally, Wyoming was my back yard until a car wreck stopped me cold.
Prayers are being said. I pray this was an accident.
Farmer boy
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Ords
Mountain climber
Bridgton, ME
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Just a quick note to say I agree with Gookin about his YouTube idea and Andrew about reporters using this site for quotes after a family member has declined to comment directly. It frustrates me to think that one of the few things that is helping Molly right now may become unsafe for her due to a couple of individuals abusing the “freedom” of the Internet.
*
Molly – I love reading the stories about Pete on this site as I did not know him well. Your encouragement and openness for people to continue posting has shown your strength at this dark time and also your enduring love for Pete. I will remember how proud he always was of you.
This week Stefanie started Kindergarten, which has been great fun for all of us. But this week also brought news of my best friend being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. She just survived a double lung transplant and had been given another chance at life I am struck by the senselessness of it all. And I think of Pete and the permanence of his death and it makes me cry. But I'm happy to think of you and Avery back in Lander soon with such a wonderful community all around you.
Thinking of you and wishing you more hopeful rainbows.
Laura
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sister
Social climber
nj
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thank you for continuing to write about Pete. I have so many friends here who know me but don't know Pete .... who have said they are so sorry and are praying for our families ... and have asked ..."What can they do"... I honestly just direct them to this site and say read some of the entries and try to live more like Pete did. FInd a passion, have priorities straight and live life to the fullest. Now, if I can stop crying every night ,,, I plan to do the same ... I give great advice and rarely take it. One would say that makes me very human.. all my love to Avery and Molly ...
Martha D
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Charlie Gray
Trad climber
Winter Park, Co
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Hi Molly and Avery,
I haven't had the energy to return to the site until now, but I have been thinking of you all - all three, of course - and try to steal away some moments when I can mourn - still. I am still so very sad for you Molly and Avery, just thinking of my son, Shane, too, of course, makes it tough.
I think, regarding your Aug. 28 post, that you are not at all the deranged widow, but rather thinking perfectly sober thoughts, the same ones we would all be thinking about the individual involved. While it is right to forgive, no one said they should not pay a higher price...the price of simple remembrance or simple remorse, while high, is not nearly high enough. It is not enough at all. Regardless of the price paid on behalf of the other individual we all know it doesn't change anything, and nothing will bring Pete back to this earth. But a higher price needs to be exacted. Only a higher, more tangible price begins to extract that which is just.
I can not tarry long here, for it draws so much energy and I have to save a bit for my work tonight.
I can tell you that I have said many a prayer whilst amongst the rocks lately, have thought much about Pete while standing on a belay or at the bottom of a crag.
Shane and I look very forward to coming up to visit with you when, I am not sure when that is, but when things are right for such a visit...Shane would love to meet Avery and he is a pure soul, an Indigo child if you will, and you will love meeting him...I look forward to visiting with you guys again, and miss all of you...
Topper, if you are reading this, let's get in touch again soon; I, we, will be emailing one another soon, I know, and let's find some time to connect again.
Molly, Avery and the whole Lander community: May God bless us all in our time of healing and remorse, and help us through our pain, and may He be with us each in our times of need.
Charlie
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Maeve's Dad
Trad climber
Herndon, VA
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Dear Molly and Avery,
It has been many years since I have seen you Molly, and though I have never met Avery, I would very much like to! From what I can gather, it sounds like Avery is a great deal like you and Pete both. You must see Pete's infectious, mischevious smile and loving heart live on in Avery every day!
I know that you know only better than I do just how talented Pete was as a climber. Of course this pales in comparison to the importance of Pete's companionship in your relationship, his role as a great father to Avery, and the genuinely positive good-heartedness that Pete shared with everybody that I know who had ever met him. When tragedies like this happen to our dear friends, even such TRULY amazing talents like Pete had as a climber seem like "useless fluff" that anyone would gladly trade for things being different than they are now . . . But I should tell you a simple story about one of my experiences with Pete "back in the day."
By the mid-80's Lezley and I had married, I was running a busy private practice, and Lezley was working in a clinical teaching position at National Children's Hospital. We were VERY busy, and there was unfortunately much less time for climbing than there used to be. Being over-worked and over-stressed were our constant companions! Anyway, we would still occasionally get out during these times (to try to recover the little bit of sanity we used to have) and muddle our way up some moderate routes at Seneca or the New. I can't remember exactly how the plan was "cooked-up," but I ended up climbing with Pete one day at Nelson Rocks. I remember Pete asking me if there was anything at Nelson's in particular that I wanted to climb. Now here was one of Pete's defining characteristics . . . Even if there had been something at Nelson's that Pete wanted to climb himself, it was ME who Pete wanted to see accomplish something - NOT HIMSELF. Well, I had always wanted to climb "Kamikaze" - an "old school" 5.8+/5.9- X. Yes, X . . . Before I let on though, I mentioned a number of routes, but finally asked Pete about "Kamikaze." I know you know about Pete's soloing exploits, and for all practical purposes, this route is really a solo for the leader. It is an amazingly compact-sided steep, slick off-width corner . . . (read akward, strenuous, and NO GEAR!), and a VERY long single pitch. Well, Pete was already smiling as he said "SURE! Let's do it!" Needless to say, especially for a now completely "citified" mortal like myself, it was an unspoken fact that Pete would be the leader (THANK GOD!). We met the next morning, racked-up (not that there was any need for a rack!) and hiked up to the route. We went through the usual rituals of stacking the rope, getting harnesses on and shoeing-up, all the while just joking, laughing, and spewing excitement about all the places we wanted to go and all the routes we wanted to do some day . . . As I belayed Pete, I was amazed by his mental control, and skill, and especially by his style. Pete just climbed as if there were no danger at all . . . There was no hesitation, no rigidity, no apparent need to avoid making moves that might "stretch too far." It was just a joy to watch someone climb with such expertise. And of course, Pete revealed none of the physical difficulty of the route while he was climbing it! I discovered this for myself soon enough! By the time I arrived at the belay, I had even more respect and admiration for Pete than I had before. WOW! Just . . . WOW! As usual, Pete wore his signature grin, asking if I enjoyed the route. The usual hand-shaking and congratulations (on both ends!) followed. Here was only more evidence that Pete genuinely cared about other people's goals and experiences.
So many people have said it here before, but it bears repetition. Pete was just a great guy. He truly cared about others. I will never be able to fathom Pete's level of climbing talent, but he was and still is an inspiration to me and to all of us. I will always try to climb like Pete (though I know I never will . . .) and to repect other people like Pete did. Like so many here have said, Pete taught us not only how to climb better, but how to live and love better. It is so easy to become wrapped-up in our own little worlds of "selfness." Pete always helped us climb out of this bottomless pit, and share with each other, BE with each other . . .
Molly and Avery, I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. But you obviously have hundreds of friends and family who love you and care about you. The climbing community of Lander in particular must be absolutely amazing to live in. You are blessed to have so many who care about you. Please take advantage of it! We all want you to.
All the best,
Sandy Fleming, Lezley McIlveen, and Maeve
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lilygrens
Social climber
Lander, WY
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I feel the compelled to share an adventure that Pete and I shared, as Molly has already mentioned it, and I promised her that I would. Pete and I shared an adventure that was very different from all the others listed above. It was probably one of the wildest adventures that either of us had ever experienced. We donned tuxedos – with HOT PINK vests and ties no less - and danced on stage with our daughters in front of about 800 people! Pete and I shared many passions – Rock Climbing, Skiing and Hunting specifically, but more than that we shared a passion for our girls. Our daughters may have been 11 months apart in age, but they are sisters at heart – or ‘twinsies’ as they say. Avery met my daughter before she was born and named her baby doll ‘baby McKenzie’ in her honor just after Kenzie’s birth. At six-months Kenzie joined Avery at day care and they have been nearly inseparable ever since. Pete and I were never big adventure partners (father-daughter dance not withstanding). We’ve climbed near each other & talked and talked hunting, but we have never shared those loves. Last year we started skiing as families. Avery showing Kenzie the famous routes through the trees at White Pine and Jackson while the adults took turns turning with the girls and turning down the big hills.
I look forward to skiing, hunting and climbing with Kenzie and Avery for years to come – and dancing – for sure dancing… don’t worry Pete – we won’t let you down.
Miss you,
Mike
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lilygrens
Social climber
Lander, WY
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Avery,
I’ve found it so hard to put into words what I want to tell you about your Dad. I woke up early this morning unable to go back to sleep, full of these feelings for you and for your Mom, and all these memories and pictures running through my head.
I didn’t really know your dad until I knew him through you. And now I’ve known your dad through the filter of your and McKenzie’s 4…5…6year-old eyes. I’ve known him as the host of McKenzie’s very first real “sleepover”…the “cool dad” who made a great big sleeping pallet on the floor in the living room and let you guys stay up really late watching movies, but ended up letting you both curl up in the bed with him rather than have you so far away.
I can picture the little dolls made out of sticks and leaves all bound together with athletic tape, Fairies, you said. I can just picture your dad and mom at the base of a climb trying desperately to find something to keep you girls busy…and quiet!
And the dancing…your dad loved to dance. I can see him at that bluegrass show…in that big red barn…it smelled like fresh-cut lumber in there…. No one was dancing…except you and McKenzie and your little band of friends. But when you asked your dad to dance with you, he jumped right up. He ran up there to the front with you and your friends, twirling you all! No one could take their eyes off him!
But mostly, I have this image of you and McKenzie marching through the house one day chanting “UHM…UHM…UHM…”. When I asked you what you were doing, you said “The other day when McKenzie fell down while we were rock climbing with my Mom and Dad, my Dad told me that if you put pressure where it hurts and close your eyes and say UHM over and over, the pain will go away….AND IT REALLY WORKS!”
I hope your pain doesn’t linger, but that the memories of your wonderful father do.
I love you.
Suzanne
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klenard
climber
Missoula, MT
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To Molly and Avery and all of our dear friends:
It has been over two weeks since I heard the devastating news and I have been traveling nearly continuously throughout that time, often without access to internet or phones. I agonized for days about trying to be there at Pete's memorial. I could have, you know, if I altered four plane tickets, re-arranged all manner of meetings, and most importantly, dismantled a trip with my Ruby that had been planned for many months. Like so many of you, I felt a deep visceral pull to be there - for Avery and Molly and all of our friends stung by this unfathomable loss.
Right up until the day before, I couldn't sleep and wrestled continuously with my love for Pete, his family and the need for some kind of punctuation - I can't ever say closure -that would mark the world before and after Pete (Caroline Byrd, I can't thank you enough for your beautiful insight that Pete would have preferred that I spend time with my daughter, since that was an opportunity that would be forever denied with his passing).
And then, (and this is the point of this post)as if by some miracle, Pete and I had a visit as real as any I had when he was with us. I was lying in bed in a hotel in San Francisco and suddenly managed to channel Pete. I explained to Pete my dilemma and how I was on this trip with my daughter (who is six and just a little younger than Avery) to Chinatown, what a huge deal it was for her, and all the rest. And as real as any memory I possess of my brief time with Pete, complete with that small, mischievous smile - almost like he was winking at you while talking - he said, "Hey, buddy, I'm fine. Go be with your daughter and we'll catch up later." And after that, it was all okay. What an amazing man.
Keith Lenard
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Angela Patnode
Social climber
Bozeman, MT
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Molly,
How do we make sense of such a tragedy? I keep asking myself that and remember John K's words from the memorial - stop thinking with the head and feel from the heart - it's all I can do....
I spent the last 10 days in Yellowstone and wanted to share with you my time with Pete there....It was a magical evening - the full moon peaking above the skyline ridge, as big as I've ever seen it, broad and bright, full of life and mystery, lighting up the valley we were camped in for all to see. I looked at that moon, asking questions again about Pete, and I could swear that Pete was in that moon, smiling his beautiful smile, saying "Enjoy life, live every day as if it were your last...", and then....the wolves began to howl, a pack of them with the breaking voices of the teenage pups included. They howled all night long, far away, then moving closer, traveling through that moonlit valley....their howls were filled with wonder, sadness, energy, and most of all, Pete's spirit. I saw Pete everyday of the trip - in the pink of the fireweed, the orange of the sunset, the blue of the water, the sound of the grey owl's wings flapping as it landed, the howl of the wolf....he is everywhere and we are with him in all of life.
A book that I continue to return to in life's ups and downs "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron has a beautiful quote:
"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy".
Thinking of you
Ang
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meggers.
Mountain climber
Newport Beach
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Molly,
I recall a few posts back you shared your new nightly ritual in remembrance of Pete --lighting a candle with Avery...and encouraging us to perhaps join you. Well, now I know there are two candles burning for Pete tonight. And I will continue each night. You are not alone. This one burns brightly in Newport Beach, California right now.
It is the perfect candle. It is soy, with the scent of Passion Fruit. It's not a gross-Yankee-Candle-stinks-up-the-whole-house sort of smell. Most guys don't love scented candles in the first place, so if Pete had he seen mine I can't imagine he would have run right out and gotten one for himself...however, I think it a subtle, cozy aroma, and welcoming and special. All fitting.
As I was lighting, I repeated my favorite prayer for all three of you, you two in Finland, and for Pete's spirit: May you be happy. May you be peaceful. May you be safe. May you be free.
much, much love,
megan
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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dear molly, i heard about the rainbows,
please don't worry about them...here, so this is for you:
rainbows, they are a joint unit of spiritual insight, a splash of heavens rich and good show...
they are a bannered reminder, reflecting prism-ed colors, to let you know...
that there is a cover of love, that shines in many fauceted ways...
as it went before, and now comes after, the storm that seek to bring dismay...
as steppingstones, they have come forth to lead...
bringing memories of love, as if leading a journey, by god's good-speed...
the reds, are warm-hearted love...
that nurtured, your family--though, shining now from above...
the blues are the sky's ever-reaching ways...
of calming the soul, with the forever-form-changing clouds of all your unique, past-treasured days...
the green is fresh new life from good solid seeds...
planted by a father's faithful deeds...
bits of purples are tiny bruised spots along way, that loyaly grew...
into integrity and honor, and remain forever true...
and what can be said of the orange and yellow...
except that there is briliance that adds to this bow...
it's the friendship and well-wishes that shine-forth as gold...
to grace the name of one, now passed-on, as each new rainbow, still unfolds...
these kind of on-going phenomenom is not normally seen...
a gift such as this, is most highly esteemed...
to comfort your heart, as a reminder, as eternally said...
everything that was knitted and nurtured into your life, will never be completely dead...
may the spectacular jeweled colors, be...
forever a heart-warming, cover of protection, to thee...
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Mamad
climber
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Dear Molly,
I think of you all daily and pray that you are finding the strength and love you need to go on each day. The pain does ease and eventually become bearable, but you never, ever forget. Have no fear, Avery will always remember her Daddy. He is too Awesome to be forgotten. At times you will also know with every fiber of your being that Pete is near. He will never leave you. That is the true beauty of a Soulmate. I wish you peace and forgiveness Dear Lady.
Debbie Olson
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Paul Koubek
climber
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Today, back out of the field after 10 days in the North Cascades (NOLS PNW Mountaineering Seminar), reconnecting with the world:
I found myself telling two of my parents about Pete's death - and crying, sobbing on the phone.
It was the first time I've been able to let the emotions I feel about this loss fully out.
We who live in mountain circles are a little bit used to talking about mountain fatalities and injuries. They are each one aweful, and they can will and do happen. We read annual publications with titles like "Accidents in North American Mountaineering." We (micro)analyze the situations. Trying to learn, we pay attention to the details of the accidents.
How can we learn from this one?
We all already know (including the 12 year olds among us) to look carefully and shout loudly before trundling.
Why are charges not going to be pressed? asked my father.
...and perhaps somewhere herin lies the lesson. I have been impressed with the civility of this forum, with the overall lack of blaming, fury or rage at the perpetrator (for indeed, that is the correct word) of this... what is the word? Maybe "atrocity"? That word seems to fit to me.
The perpetrator, whose name is Luke Rodolph, is not to be tarred and feathered, drawn and quartered, stoned to death himelf? Or (a modern, western version of the same) should Luke Rodolph not have his wages garned as child support until Avery reaches 18? What about justice?
Are we right to be so forgiving?
My heart tells me somehow that not finding forgiveness for others leads to lashing out, leads to mistakes (not unlike the U.S. government bombing two nations in response to an atrocity committed on our home soil).
So forgiveness...
As I find myself crying down the phone, I know no other word.
And finding it will be hard.
Paul Koubek
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Jennifer Lowe
climber
CO
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Last night, as the sun was setting here in Steamboat after a late summer rain, there was the most intense double rainbow I have ever seen in my life, bar none. As the sun continued to drop through the clouds, the light and colors shifted, more intense to the right, then the left, then the whole thing lit up, end to end, all across the sky. I just sat out there on my wet deck staring at this most amazing sky show and I thought of you and Avery and Pete. And I thought, when a person is such a force of life as was Pete, they never really leave and when we are lucky, we catch glimpses of them in things like rainbows and friendships and the eyes of our children.
Wishing you peace.
Jen
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Dorsey
climber
East Lansing, MI
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Hi Molly - I'm sitting in my room, watching the US Open, just over a teenager argument with my boys over going out on school nights...all the regular stuff of life. And I find myself thinking of you, and of you and Pete, and of you and Pete and Avery.
I want so much to send comfort and laughter your way. I know that the silly, mundane, crappy stuff at the kitchen table is really the fabric of a family's life. I want so much for you to know that your kitchen table will live again. Know that Avery already has that Village it takes to raise a child - I saw it when I was in Lander. Know that you, our fabulous Molly, will laugh and climb and do that Molly thing you do and have done since we met at Kent when we were both 14.
But I don't know how to really say all these thing so that they'll mean something to you, so you'll feel comforted or maybe just a little bit less lonely.
We are all watching for rainbows so we can say hi to Pete. Or maybe the rainbows are the best way for us to be connected to you.
Love, Dorsey
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Sarah S
climber
Lander, WY
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I often saw Pete, Molly and Avery around Lander enjoying all sorts of adventures together. I must say, I think those times that I saw them out dancing together were my favorite of all. I don't think I've ever seen anyone dance with quite as much committment and joy as the three of them. It always brought a huge smile to my face to see them giving every ounce of themselves to moving in time with the music and with each other. I particularly remember seeing Pete and Avery dancing in the barn at the museum when the Fireants were playing on a warm summer evening. Avery, you are very blessed to have Pete as your father. He gave himself fully to you, giving you a foundation of love and support and self that will last your whole life.
Molly, your eloquence in the letter that was read at Pete's memorial event was admirable. Times like this are the utmost tests of character and grace.
I will absolutely never forget the event that followed the service for me. I headed out to the parking lot, and asked the first car I saw pulling out for a ride back to Lander. Unbenownced to me, I had hopped into the car with Martha (Pete's sister), Pete's Mom, and a dear friend of theirs, Fran. I couldn't believe the incredible graciousness and kindness that was expressed towards me on the ride to town. The short time we spent getting to know each other and sharing thoughts about Pete will stick with me forever. These women taught me as much about Pete as the whole service. No wonder everyone loved Pete, he came from a family of people who could show kindness and grace in the most difficult of times imaginable. Know that I will forever admire your family. It only takes a moment for an unspeakable tragedy to occur, but it also only takes a moment to positively impact a person's life forever. That is what happened to me on the ride back to Lander. Thank you.
-Sarah Stein
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Hi,
I'm back in the States and am so thrilled to find that people here are still posting stories and memories. Of course for me, the journey of learning to live without Pete is just beginning and in many ways still feels incredibly unreal, so these posts are a way of staying connected to the one postive thing I've gained from Pete's death—a real feeling of appreciation for and contact with the people we know and love. I have been with friends here in Denver and tomorrow head back to Lander, which I have to admit I am both longing for and dreading. It will be hard to see Pete's shirts hanging in the closet with his shoes cluttered about on the floor. It will be hard to see the last Harry Potter book by his side of the bed, unfinished. It will be hard to get up and make my own cup of coffee in the morning...but I'm eager to be back in our community. And Avery is as well. And so we go and begin the real task of starting our new life.
I was talking to Sarah Pierce tonight and she said that her kids love finding out funny, embarrassing stories about when she and their father were younger and it occurred to me that you all could help me fill in some blanks for when Avery wants those kinds of stories about Pete. I know he wore the goofiest workout clothes, but do you have pictures of them? Like those lime green tights he wore well into the 90s in spite of the styles? I would love to have some photos or stories to tell Avery about what a goofball her dad could be when she wonders more about Pete 10 or 15 years from now. I think that continues to be one of the hardest things for me to grapple, just how she was deprived of getting to grow up with him there to guide—and embarrass—her. And he would have, wouldn't he?
The other request, which may be harder to come by, is does anyone have any video footage of Pete? I don't have anything and I only have his voice on our cell phone...So if you somewhere in your photos or movies have something that captures him on film for even a second, I would love to have it. It's kind of hard to capture a person in a still photograph, at least for me.
To all of you out there who have been helping me and Avery with your thoughts, emails, posts, letters, prayers, or whatever, thank you. Avery is well. I, well I had a better day today. I doubt it is much more than that—a better day—maybe just as a result of dehydration after the flying yesterday, but I am thankful for the brief respite. I know tomorrow will be hard... home feels like a strange mix between a comfortable place where I can find solace and a place that is haunted by memories that are too close and raw to be of any comfort right now. Still it is time to return, if nothing else because I miss my friends.
thanks again to everyone.
molly
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Andrew Morley
Boulder climber
Boulder, Colorado
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Molly,
It was so good to see you last night. I am sorry to have kept you, Sarah and Phil up so late, but I guess I just didn't want to have to say goodbye.
Becky's and my prayers and love are with you as you and Avery return to Lander. This homecoming will be so hard, but I am comforted to know that you have such wonderful, loving friends in Lander to help you. Lean on them, lean on your loving family, and please lean on Becky and me for anything.
Phil and Sarah, thank you for your wonderful hospitality and for letting me hang around so long last night.
All my love,
Andrew
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Sally Kimmel
climber
Shepherdstown, WV
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To Molly and Peter's Family -
I'm so sorry about what happened. My heart goes out to all of you. Mark Brosnan, a childhood friend of Peter's, called me to let me know about Peter. I was a close high school friend. I remember leaving Woodward H.S. many afternoons and giving Peter a ride to Carderock in MD when he first started climbing. I often belayed Peter on these afternoons and learned a lot about climbing. It was such an incredible passion of Peter's. We used to hang out along the Potomac River and went camping many times. Peter was always looking for someone to "come along" with him climbing or give him a ride. The group was usually Pete, Mark Brosnan, John Absolon, Brian B., and sometimes Mike Perlis (and me, of course). Pete's father used to give me a hard time for being the only girl in this group of high school boys but I loved the river, the camping and all the fun. In the winter we were somewhat shut down from the outdoors, although that never stopped Peter, and we spend a lot of that time playing pool in the Absolon's basement and only coming upstairs if we had to. Later, when Pete was teaching climbing at the Gendarme at Seneca Rocks, WV, we used to come down from time to time to visit. He was always so glad to see us all. I'm going to try and uploaded some pictures from high school and one of the trips to Seneca Rocks. My husband and I went to Peter and Molly's wedding and it was a wonderful time. I loved the time spent there. I'm sad that the last time I saw and talked Peter was when John Absolon was married. Molly and Peter were so funny about the one suit and one pair of heels they kept for weddings and couldn't wait to shed these items of clothing. I will always have very fond memories of everyone and I was lucky to find Mary (Pete's Mom) at home yesterday. We sat around the kitchen table and talked and talked. It was wonderful to be able to walk back into the house I'd spent those high school years in and it hadn't changed a bit. I lost my mother on Aug. 19th just after Pete and it was nice to go see Pete's Mom.
I'll try to remember more,
Sally
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Topper Wilson
Trad climber
Pueblo, CO
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Molly,
Something to relay to Avery: Remember when "lycra" came out? You had gotten Pete some multi-colored lycra and insisted that it be worn without underwear because that was the way everyone wore it. Pete was incredulous: "without underwear, NO Way..." I remember the three of us were climbing at Seneca and this conversation/debate continued between the two of you throughout the day, from ledge to ledge... One of Pete's comments was, "what if the locals see me?" Surely Pete would be subject to ridicule for days to come had a local West Virginian seen him! But, he was mainly stuck on the idea of not wearing underwear; he had a hard time getting over it. Pete had started that day in other clothing but eventually migrated to Lycra (without underwear). I think he changed back to non-colorful, rather mundane Patagonia shorts and t-shirt before he got back to the climbing shop...
To the NOLS folks reading this, Pete's memorial was just beautiful. You did a spectacular job organizing and executing it. It was really special, bar none. I've been to other services before, but never have I seen some many flowers or heard so many good, healthy conversations.
To Molly and Avery, from reading this thread daily, it seems like there's about a billion people out there that care about you; take comfort in that during your darker moments. Though it will be no easy task, you will do well. Just use your friends, let them help; they all want to...
Love,
Topper
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Good times with Pete, we will always remember.
LOVE,
Paul and Henry (Pete's nephews)
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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News Flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted 4 pm central time.
"Team Absolon" Expedition, named after Pete Absolon of Lander, Wyoming a nationally recognized rock climber and person exceptionale, has embarked for a trek up Mt.Rainier in Washington State. Team Absolon is composed of Chris Herber, Pete Absolon's nephew, Tim Sheehan and Brian Faeth, close friends of Pete Absolon's brother-in-law, Bill Herber all of Edina, Minnesota. Chris Herber attained his mountaineering skills this past summer while on the NOLS Alaska course under the skilled mentoring of Mike Spayd, a dear friend of Pete's, Louisa Hunker and Gary McLaughlin.
Chris Herber found a passion in mountaineering while on the NOLS course which was recommended for him to attend by his Uncle Pete.
Molly and Avery Absolon were notified in person at the Denver International Airport that this special expedition was named for her husband Pete. Molly and Avery were able to give Chris Herber hugs before they were returned to their friends and lives Lander, Wyoming.
Peter has been asked by Mary Absolon, Chris's mother, to please watch over Team Absolon Expedition for their safety and to guide Molly and Avery as they return to Lander.
Thank you Pete......continue to be a rock as we live our lives..
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Folks are going to assemble at Seneca Rocks November 10 to remember Pete, Howard Doyle and Greg Smith. If you can't make it you can send stories and photos to gregoryj@mindspring.com
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Christine Rogers
Trad climber
Laramie, WY
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Molly,
Your post about rainbows leaves me breathless...
We'd planned to send you a hardcopy of this picture, and we actually wanted to tell you about it at Pete's service, but we weren't sure about the timing. Neither of us is religious in the traditional sense, so we are still sorting out the meaning ourselves. However, now seems like a perfect time to to share this...
The day before Pete's service, exactly one week after his death, we were driving out of the Snowy Range after a hike. We'd spent the day talking and thinking about Pete, and you, and Avery. We'd paused at a high lake to wonder about the fragility (and magnitude) of our lives, and of Pete's life.
As we passed through Centennial on the way to our new home in Laramie, we almost drove off the road. There, in front of us, was the most spectacular rainbow either of us had ever seen. EVER. It was a full, double rainbow--so bright it almost hurt to look at it. There were colors I didn't even know existed. It's been a long time since I've seen a rainbow--any rainbow. It sucked the breath right out of me. For a moment, I was so awed I was paralyzed. Luckily, we pulled over to the shoulder without incident and snapped a picture. The photo doesn't do it justice, of course...
Anyway, we just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. From the people who surround and support you here on earth, to the mysteries beyond that we cannot explain but can only notice and wonder about, it is so clear that you are not alone. May you truly SEE many more rainbows. Be sure you look up when you are galloping…
Chrissy Rogers and Brad Stanton
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Kari Grady Grossman
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Dear Molly,
Like many, I keep coming back here to read about Pete and continue to be filled with disbelief that this has happened. It is so difficult to know how to be a good friend to you from so far away. We moved to Ft. Collins the day before Pete's accident, and it has made being away from our Lander community so hard. Our new town feels so empty. It is good to hear your voice on this thread. You are a gifted writer.
I have a memory of Pete to share, since so many have been talking about his dancing. It was a couple summers ago, Grady and Avery must have been about 3 and we were all at the Lander Beer Fest. Avery was either off with her friends or you had the good sense not to bring your 3 year old to a beer fest. Anyway, at the time Grady was obsessed with a book called "Climbing the Daddy Mountain" and his Daddy George was darn sick of being climbed. Well, Pete let Grady climb is daddy mountain, all the way up to his shoulders, all night long. George and I danced a song or two and when we saw that Grady was continuing to climb Pete we came over to tell him to knock it off. Pete said "Now I know how the mountain feels." He said he didn't mind. Now, for all I know, you might have been completely annoyed the whole night, but Pete continued to allow Grady to play on him, and we got to dance. Thank you Pete for letting us dance. Thank you Pete for being the mountain.
In honor of the grace and balance in life that Pete exemplified, George and I have started the Pete Absolon Memorial Fitness Challenge. As in get off your butt, get on the bike, and get it done, no excuses. I have at times felt his presence nudging me to push harder when I'm feeling lazy and wanting to quit. Thanks Pete.
VIDEO:
I was hoping to start our video project of memories of Pete the weekend of Sept 28th-Sept 30th, but I hear you are going to be down here for a horse clinic. We will find another weekend, at your convenience. If anyone sends you video of Pete, we will be happy to edit it into the piece.
I hope I get to see you soon. I really need to hug you. I'm available to help with child care in Colorado if you need it.
Love,
Kari
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Mei Ratz
climber
Lander, WY
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Molly and My Little sister of cercumstance - Avery.
I have tried to prepair myself better before reading the brilliant stories on this site, but alas....i am in the dreaded student athlete study tables wiping away my tears. I send every ounce of my love, and every bit of my hugs that can be sent. you have made it another day! yipee.
i am in the process of writing a letter to send snail mail to you both, but until then...
Never give up, never surrender! - My daddy
"The rainbows come after the storms in life"
and
Fly well and fly true Pete.
All my love.
Mei
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Hi Everyone....just missing Pete....and Fritz....
The Absolon Family has gone through a lot over the last few weeks.
Approximately, 29 years ago we lost our brother/son Fritz in an accident. He was 22 years old and was a geology major just like Pete.
Now some 29 years later, we loose another brother/son/father/lover, Peter.
This is a tragedy for us all. We loved both of these people so much and it is painful to relive and have these deep feelings of pain rekindled again...
So many friends who went through our first brother/son's death have been supportive and are walking this second tragedy with us again. We appreciate the visits, photos, calls of support and everything you are doing for us.
Thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you Broz, Sally, Kate, Maggie, Tony, Eva, Jack, Henry, Zhi, Brenda, Fran, The Alpars, Leslie, Neva, Rick, Uncle John, Deanna, Kate, Leanne, John G., Jim ....
Some of us in the family would desire to have been the one sending rainbows at this time to people on earth, rather than Pete. However, we do not have control so we are piecing together our lives and receiving rainbows...
We have new memories ahead. There is a disco floor waiting the Absolon grandchildren at the Delehanty house for some future gathering; there is a special vacation spot where we can veg abit; and there are the corners where we will always miss our dear Pete and Fritz all the days of our lives.
I dropped off films of the Absolon Family to have made into DVDs that we can all view when we are together. To Dad, thanks for making these 8 mm films- you have always been the historian in our family and it was your filming that will give us this priceless treasure.
Love, Mary
Pete's sister
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TheKid
Trad climber
Fort Collins, CO
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Dear Molly -
I'm so very sorry to hear about Pete. Going way back to winter-to-spring of '91, Semester in the Rockies, I remember your stories about climbing with Pete. If I'm not mistaken you told us the story about "just letting go" and then running out of batteries on the descent. There were a few other harrowing tales around the circle back then that have stuck with me in a fragmentary kind of way. There was often a mix of raw emotion, humor and love of life in your climbing stories. I also recall seeing Pete in action during our climbing section in Sinks Canyon, I think he was there with his group. Bright colors and a funny warm hat? There was something about him, and something about the two of you. Clearly, not everyone has it - whatever it is - or gets to share it with another, but you two did.
It was pure chance that I found out about Pete (was on KTAK/KVOW's site for another story) and stumbling upon the report I shared your sense of "there's something odd here" that you wrote about in an earlier post. There was no name, and no charges? I mean, if someone threw a rock off a roof and killed somebody in town what would the law do then? I don't get it. I'm sorry if this topic is a drag, and I don't want to emphasize what must already be painful and frustrating for you - but I do want to validate your feelings and thinking that this doesn't seem right.
You were an excellent instructor/den-mother (I've long forgotten the NOLS term for your position) during a formative crux in my life and, I think, the others' in our group, too. Aside from the technical "how to do stuff" and common sense/KISS lessons, you conveyed lessons on life through words and actions. Things like positive attitude, how to get along with folks in a group setting, and how to make good judgment calls. Somehow I'm pretty sure that these are enduring characteristics that you have to this day, even when you aren't feeling so strong.
So much has already been said, so please accept my condolences - and very best wishes for you, Avery, and all the family on both sides.
Keep the glass half full,
Luca
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Tavis Eddy
climber
Lander
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We are shocked and deeply saddened by the loss of Pete. Words are awkward tools to convey what I feel. What a void we now confront, and I truly struggle to use the past tense. Pete was the smiling one up in the cave at Sinks, working hard on some route, and always cheerful and positive. He would treat your climbing experience as important as his and he wanted those around him to be having the same great day. He would be out skate skiing, having learned it faster than the rest of us. Skiing the entire Loop Road, in either direction, just seemed to be the best way to learn. The way he and Molly and Avery would share a day together, was a great thing to see and be a part of. As we bring a little girl into the world I look to them for the fullness and joy that they shared together outside. What he provided for Avery is a model for me, as I begin fatherhood, and what they shared together is a model for our family.
His life was always so full, so present, so energized, so giving. He loved and made the most of this landscape. We are blessed to celebrate his life in our own, and embrace this great community as we move forward together. We think of you Pete, every step of the way.
Pete was an inspired person. He loved to share in other people’s accomplishments and had a way of making you feel good about yourself. He loved to tell and listen to hunting stories. I shot my first elk last fall and Pete approached me at a party, congratulated me, and wanted to hear my story. He wanted all the details – the setting, conditions, how I tracked the animal, where I placed the shot, etc. etc. etc. As I told my story, he had a gleam in his eyes and he was truly excited for me. I will always appreciate his words and his enthusiasm for my hunt.
He loved to make Avery happy. On several occasions we witnessed him send her flying in harness from Killer Cave after he’d finished some absurdly difficult route. Grinning from ear to ear as Avery laughed with glee. He knew how great it would feel to fly like that, like a bird, weightless, wind in her hair, butterflies in her belly, and relished seeing the excitement in her face.…the joy between them was palpable. It was infectious to watch as we’d all end up smiling from ear to ear. He was an incredible guy.
With much love and sadness,
Tavis, Jules and Ameya.
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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I wish I could write individually to each and everyone of you who have reached out to Avery and me—eventually I hope to, but for now this site will have to suffice. I feel as if we have been enveloped in a circle of love that has reached far beyond the boundaries I had thought defined our life and friends. I cannot begin to tell you how much that circle helps me and helps Avery. It doesn't bring back Pete or take away the pain nor does it stop the tears, but it brings me some kind of solace.
It is good to be back in Lander. And I need to tell you all that at a barbecue on the night of our return, there was another rainbow.
love
Molly
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sister
Social climber
nj
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molly -- glad you are back. This is a reference back to your request for video of Pete. Well, as you know -- Kevin generally has two regular cameras, a video camera and a tripod hanging from his waist at every family event. I remember all the times I was so sick of him taking ONE DARN MORE PICTURE ... well, I am eating crow. Now I see the value ... We will dig around and surely find a gold mine ,,, will keep you posted ... All my love and welcome back -- Sam and Alex say hi to Bravery Avery ... Martha D.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Team Absolon Expedition composed of Chris Herber, Pete's nephew and friend Brian Faeth, successfully summited Mt. Rainier at approximately 9 am on Friday, September 7, 2007.
It was a rocky mountain high to say the least! Pete was smiling and saying, "All right, yep, that's my nephew!"
The death of Pete has created greater clarity for us the connection with life and how these adventures create true meaning in our lives. Thank you Pete for being a rock and a beacon for Chris.
Anyone wanting to contact Pete's nephew can email him at chris.herber@du.edu.
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Lander
climber
Boulder
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Hi Molly,
We saw a beautiful rainbow in Boulder tonight and thought of Pete.
Peace and love,
Steph G
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COT
climber
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Sep 10, 2007 - 03:14am PT
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Pete and Avery hiding out from the climbing fashion police in Sinks Canyon
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Zsnowdog
Social climber
Lewisburg, WV
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Sep 11, 2007 - 02:34pm PT
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Hi Molly,
I haven’t seen you for years, yet I was saddened to hear of Peter’s death. Wow. While reading the blog I was reminded of my years in Colorado and working with the Alpine Rescue team, but that’s my story….
I remember being told of your engagement so long ago and then of your marriage. Peter sounded like a great guy. From what I gather he lived deliberately and passionately with the people he loved doing what he loved. I’m sorry I never met him.
One thing that struck me was that I was only a year older than Avery when my father died. I want to share some thoughts with you that may be helpful as you navigate this unexpected path. However, it seems to me that a letter would be a more appropriate format. So, I shall write to you soon.
However, one more thought for this blog….
Kathleen Norris in her book Dakota wrote “ the party’s not over until you’ve told the stories.” I hope, Molly, that you and your friends keep telling the stories. Stories that reveal Peter’s character, his humor, his love.
I hope some will commit those stories to paper and send them to you to keep to give someday to Avery when she is an adult. Right now for Avery he’s just her daddy, but someday she will want to know about the man. 38 years have passed since my father died and I cherish those moments when someone will tell me that they knew my dad and can share their experience of him. Amazing how those glimpses mean so much to me, even after all these years.
Prayerfully,
Amy Kirsten Berg LaFollette
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Sep 12, 2007 - 04:55pm PT
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It's nice to see people are still posting occasionally. I'm technically challenged at home, although my cousin Peggy is rapidly changing that, but what it means is that I don't get onto email or the internet often. Thanks for everyone who keeps sending pictures and stories...
I dreamed of Pete last night. It was comforting in a strange way although I hated waking up. He told me in the dream he was 98 percent okay but he missed us.
molly
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Sep 12, 2007 - 06:57pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I'm so sorry. But he is still with you and Avery.
Love,
Henry (Pete's nephew)
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Michelle L. Escudero
climber
Lander, WY
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Sep 12, 2007 - 11:34pm PT
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Molly,
Today I was in the bathroom as Magda took a bath, swimming from end to end. She sang a song. The words were mainly nonsense. Then she sang, "Pete is dead,....Pete died." I was shocked. I asked her if it was a nice song that would make Avery and Molly happy when we all miss Pete and are so sad. She said yes and continued to sing.
After the bath the conversation continued:
When we could visit Pete?
For sake of trying to avoid the unending questions that were going to follow, he is in heaven.
Where is heaven?
In the stars.
When can we go?
Well, that's the magic part. When you die you learn to fly. And you fly to heaven up in the stars.
Birds go to heaven?
Well, they go to heaven when they die.
When Molly and Avery can go?
Well, they can go in their dreams.
What kind of dreams?
The kind that you wish would never end.
I'm thirsty. Can I have some water, please?
Dream on my friend!!!
Michelle Escudero
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Denise Ackert
climber
CO
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Sep 13, 2007 - 02:44am PT
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Dear Molly:
Ahh, I think of you every day from down here in Salida. And the tears continue to come as I occassionally get to this site and read your thoughts as you deal with life without Pete. I struggle with words, yet want you to simply know that you and Avery are in my heart every day. I have that picture of you, Pete and Avery (taken right after Avery) was born on my altar and each night I send out wishes to Pete for a safe passage to the other side - whatever that may be.
I look forward to coming to Lander and having the chance for our children to play together! I send you both lots of love.
Big Hugs,
Denise Ackert
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Sep 13, 2007 - 01:20pm PT
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Today is Avery's 7th birthday. She was so excited when she went to school today. She felt so grown up. She wanted to talk about her birth so I tried to tell her how it had gone. I remember so clearly at one point Pete was trying to help me and he started counting, "One, one, one..." I turned to him and said, "why the hell are you counting one, one, one?" It turned out somewhere along the line, probably after Denise had told us we should discuss coping strategies for dealing with the pain, Pete had asked me what I did when I swam. I told him I counted the laps, down one direction—one, one, one and back, two, two, two... somewhere along the line he missed the fact that I did actually switch numbers when I changed directions.
It's hard not to have him here to celebrate and remember. Avery has asked why he can't come back. I wish I had an answer.
molly
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katie&dylan
climber
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Sep 13, 2007 - 04:30pm PT
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AVERY!!!!!
Avery,
Dylan wanted to send you a birthday message and started to sing the birthday song from Madagascar for you...Isaac keeps asking, "who is Avery?" and Dylan says, "she is my new friend I found in Finland!" Happy Birthday sweet girl...we are thinking of you.
Molly,
I have been keeping both of you in my thoughts and heart since we returned, sending you all the strength and support you might need as you move through your days. Don't forget that you have a home in Portland if you ever find yourselves over here...
Much love,
Katie and Dylan
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Janeen
climber
Lander, WY
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Sep 13, 2007 - 05:00pm PT
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Happy Birthday Avery!
I hope you are having a wonderful birthday, I can't believe you're seven!
Were thinking of you here in sunny Tucson!
~Janeen and Ryan
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Sep 13, 2007 - 06:43pm PT
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Happy Birthday Avery!!!
Love-
Cornelia, Paul and Henry
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brian b
climber
Sarotoga Ca
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Sep 14, 2007 - 02:26pm PT
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Molly & Avery (btw Happy Birthday)
no new Pete stories - but wanted you guys to know we still think about you (and Pete) alot.
Mel (11) and I have taken to going on hikes almost every weekend. She has been learning how to use a map & compass. Told her about our high school days when Pete & Broz and I would sit in the lunch room - over a topo map and pick out - plan our next trips.
be well
-brian
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Janeen
climber
Lander, WY
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Sep 14, 2007 - 06:20pm PT
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Hope you had a great Birthday Aves!
"Why can't he come back?" - that is a very good question I wish I could answer. What keeps coming to mind is that he is actually ALWAYS here with all of us especially with you and Avery.
I had a dream on Sunday night that I was at your house, sitting with you and Avery on the couch. Pete walked in and I looked shocked. You turned to me and said "I know it's weird but Pete is here and with us" and Pete said, as he sat down on the couch next to me, "Yeah, don't tell too many people cause we don't want to freak them out!". The dream continued as we sat and shared a great evening together, Avery playing on the floor and the three of us chatting.
What that dream told me is, yes, it is true that Pete is always with us especially you and Avery. Like Avery said at the memorial when she kept misplacing things. She looked to the sky and said "Oh Daddy, quit playing tricks on me!". I guess I just hope Avery is able to cultivate ways to recognize that he is always with her, like an angel on her shoulder.
With love from Tucson,
Janeen
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Elkie
Mountain climber
Ellsworth, WI
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Sep 14, 2007 - 06:23pm PT
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Happy B-lated Birthday Avery!
In an earlier note I mentioned that I would think of Pete when in the mountains hunting and a cool breeze would be a reminder that he was with us, protecting us.
While in Colorado last week (8-31 thru 9-9) archery elk hunting I had this happen numerous times, and each time I thought about Pete, his accident, family and friends. Our trip was highly successful, with all three in my party having a shot at our prized goal.
While we were there a couple from Fort Collins, CO got lost while on a over night hike from Rocky Mountain National Park to HWY 14 off the South Zimmerman Trail, just west of Rustic, CO. Roughly 30 miles I was told. They were supposed to go in Saturday AM and come out Sunday night of Labor Day weekend, but no show.
CO Search & Rescue searched for them the Monday night thru Thursday after Labor Day. We visited with the police, rescue teams and many others searching for the couple while going into or coming out of the forest when hunting. While sitting near the top of the Mummy's Range, east of the National Park in the Roosevelt National Forest, that cool breeze blew and I asked Pete to find the couple safe and sound.
Thursday afternoon, the CO Search & Rescue units located the man and his wife, safe and sound about 1/2 mile east of Peterson Lake, just a few miles from us, safe and sound.
Pete is with us.
Pete is there for you when you need him.
Remember this, and him, as he can be our spiritual guide when we or others around us are in need of assistance.
Just ask for his assistance, and you will be guided safely!
God Bless You All, and a big THANKS, Pete!
~Elkie
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Sep 16, 2007 - 10:53pm PT
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Dearest Peter, Friends and Family....
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall gently upon your fields.
And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Sep 17, 2007 - 12:46am PT
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Molly and Avery,
Avery, happy birthday. (Sorry my wish is 3 days late, but I just learned about it from reading another post). Your birthday is the same as my mom's. I lost my daddy suddenly too. That was a long time ago now, but I still think of him all the time. My son is named after him.
My family thinks of yours every day. Joe (my 6-year-old son) and I sing a song together called "Goodnight Moon" by Will Kimbrough. I always think of your family when I sing that song anymore.
Molly, judging by the number of people still writing, it seems that you and Avery have many thoughts continuing to make their way to both of you, as Fall deepens. I'm glad. Things will get better, but trust in your friends until they do. You and Avery are loved.
Shaun, Chavawn and Joseph Hatcher Kelley
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LT
climber
lander
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Sep 17, 2007 - 11:58am PT
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Dearest Molly,
I think of you so often and I am fortunate to see you a few times a week. Did you see the sky on Friday nite? There was a dramatically stormy sky, right before the football game, lightning, rain, thunder rolled in, and then a blue sky opened up toward the west and illuminated the sky to the east, creating the complete arc of a brilliant double rainbow, bright colors glowing through the purple bruise of the storm.
Beauty and wonder co-existing with darkness... happiness dancing while sadness bears down... those paradoxes make me shake my head... how can the world be the same for others when our world has been cracked open at the core and irreversibly changed? How can others smile and say "How are you?" so cheerfully, when we hate that question?
I heard myself automatically asking you that question last week, when I saw you at the gym, "How are you?" as a mere greeting, not a genuine inquiry. I bit my tongue as you looked so pained at me. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I know better.
You didn't say "I'm fine" as you might have a month ago. But you also didn't tell me what you really felt: "How the hell do you think I am? I am NOT fine and I'll never be fine again. So that's what you get for asking."
Next time I'll remember and say "How is today going for you? I've been thinking of you. Here's a hug." I love you. Keep hanging in there. It's again, a beautiful day. How does that happen?
Lantien (Chu Ratz)
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Mo Ryan
Mountain climber
Davis, CA
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Sep 17, 2007 - 11:13pm PT
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Dear Molly,
I learned just last night, with great sadness, of Pete's death. I am so, so sorry. Pete was the best mentor I've ever had, in anything. He briefed and debriefed almost every course I worked at NOLS, but more importantly he was the kind of person who I, and I think many of us, tried to emulate: kind, confident, soft-spoken, insightful, caring, incredibly competent, always friendly. I can't imagine my experience of those years without him in it and am so grateful for that.
My stories of Pete are mostly subtle and not really the kind that bring big laughs or surprise (although I remember him telling many of that sort). But in fact, I'm sure my stories wouldn't be surprising at all to anyone who knew him. I remember mostly his careful wisdom, his genuine interest in people, and his ability to bring the intangible best out of them, us. Those things are hard to describe with stories since they accumulate gently over a lifetime. There are a few that really stand out for me, though. I remember a particular debriefing in which he gave me some insights and advice that I've continued to think about and try to live since then (eight years ago now). The substance of it would not be that interesting to most people so I won't repeat it here but it meant a lot to me because it was good advice and because it was specific to me and because I know that so many of us have been the fortunate recipients of that personal and careful wisdom. I also remember one time that Pete brought an enormous fresh salmon and what seemed like a garden full of vegetables out to Split Rock to a rock camp Scott Robertson, Alison and I were working, and that he was briefing, and made us a spectacular feast under a tarp, in the rain, on the slimy lichen. It was mid-May and I'd been working courses almost straight since January (i.e., eating fried pasta almost straight since January), and it was the nicest thing he could have done. He brought his easy friendliness and big smile and good stories and they were as good as the meal. Otherwise I remember too many great smiles and welcomes and goodbyes than I can recount. It's comforting to me to know that so many of us are out there with our constellations of good will in the memories of the time we passed with Pete, however long or short. I hope they are a comfort to you as well.
I deeply wish that you and Avery had been spared his loss. And I hope that as you walk through the places he spent his time and love and wisdom, that you can feel him there and that it helps you through. I hope our paths will cross again as well, and that I can meet your beautiful 7 YEAR OLD daughter again and see her father in her, and you in her, and her unique self in her. May the land, and friends and family hold both of you close and treat you well.
With love, Mo
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PatH
climber
CO
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Sep 20, 2007 - 12:29am PT
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Dear Molly,
What horrible news! I heard from friends that someone from NOLS died. When I saw the picture on the web my sadness grew. I know that face. I looked thru old photos from a NOLS course (1992 WMT 7-27) and my hunch was correct. I am so sorry... I hope that the pictures bring you back to a place of happiness. You all were amazing on my course and the Winds were stunning.
...Patrick
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Sep 20, 2007 - 10:23am PT
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Alas, I see the supertopo site is winding down. It makes me so sad because to be honest Avery and I are just beginning our journey without Pete and his absence is very, very hard. I have been coming back here periodically because the postings help me feel like he's still close and in people's minds, but I know that it's changing.
I thank everyone again for sharing their memories with me. It does help, sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes laugh, always appreciate what a great man he was and how fortunate I was to share 20 years of my life with him. I miss him more than I can say...
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Lynne Wolfe
Trad climber
Driggs, ID
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Sep 20, 2007 - 11:04am PT
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Oh Molly your note just above makes me so sad. There is really nothing I or anyone can say to make it better. You know how supportive your community is, but this journey is yours alone. I miss him too; but seeing you say 20 years pretty much blows me away- with only 7 years with Dan it just grows stronger for us. I heard from Sue that there is going to be a sweat this weekend and she wants to take you for dinner or something. I am glad- wish I could come but am still guiding (although it is supposed to snow down to 9000' this weekend).
and we just had to go back to Mass since Dan's Dad died- he was 76 and had triple bypass surgery before our wedding. He had a long full life but still died suddenly. It was still very sad- he had impacted so many people positively. Brings me back to the essential question- how do we live our lives joyously knowing that there is/ will be grief or loss. Reminds me of that Wendell Berry poem about the Peace of Wild Things..
Are you back at work? What are you doing? Been reading? I just finished Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen- new favorite.
love you
Lynne
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sunshinedaydream
Big Wall climber
yosemite area
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Sep 20, 2007 - 11:58am PT
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Molly & Avery,
A bunch of us just did a climb for Pete and for a few others that we have lost in the past year this past weekend in Yosemite!! He is very much alive in the hearts of many of us here! You have an amazing community all over the world... you both are welcome to come here if you need a hug from us on the west coast!
Jess (from WMI)
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Andrew Morley
Boulder climber
Boulder, Colorado
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Sep 21, 2007 - 03:18pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
We are thinking about and praying for the two of you and Pete every day. As time passes and you continue on this difficult journey without Pete, please know that we are here to help you in anyway that we can. We will be in touch with emails and phone calls, but don't hesitate to reach out any time, day or night, if we can help in any way.
I know that Pete's spirit is there with the two of you and you will continue to find connections to Pete in your dreams, with your memories, in those many activities and places that you loved and shared, through your families and friends, in the inspiration and encouragement that Pete always provided, and in the love among the three of you that you felt so deeply and expressed so easily and completely.
All our love and prayers are with you.
Andrew and Becky
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Crag
Trad climber
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Sep 21, 2007 - 04:26pm PT
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Horatio Spafford, a hymnist, wrote after suffering great lose "It is Well with My Soul."
Here's just a short snippet from the text:
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Thinking of you both.
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Trina
climber
Nederland, Colorado
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Sep 21, 2007 - 07:23pm PT
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Hi Molly,
Just know that even those of us who aren't in your closest circles think of you and Avery and Pete often. I have been so touched by the stories and comments I have read on this site for the past weeks and the conversations about Pete that I have had with mutual friends. Pete was clearly a man with an enormous capacity for love, life, leadership and friendship and he was so lucky to have had you as a partner. He set a high standard as a person and together you provided such a positive example of a marriage. I have seen a number of beautiful rainbows in the past month and view them through a Pete and Molly lens now. All my best, Trina Peterson
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mingus
Trad climber
Grand Junction, Colorado
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Sep 21, 2007 - 08:13pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery,
I had a vivid dream the other night that astronomers had discovered a new constellation. It was just below Orion and they were amazed it had come from nowhere. The dream was like a documentary and the narrator had that Peter Coyote voice. When the telescope homed in on the star cluster, there was one very bright star that they named the "Pete Star". In my dream all the nearby stars in the constellation were those that loved him most. There was his beautiful suspension in the dark Wyoming night. It reminded me of Lakota and Assiboine stories that when people leave this human form they take a place in the sky to watch over us. Rainbow's -- yes! Stars -- yes! I am expecting to see him in the clouds soon. Thank you Pete, Thank you Pete...Eric M.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Sep 21, 2007 - 11:49pm PT
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Yesterday was stormy in Minnesota.
I was driving up in Northern Minnesota on the roads we would travel as children. I thought of days gone by at our grandpa Bendix's cabin at Batson near Big Fork, Mn where Pete, Fritz, John,Martha and I learned to fish and fire a rifle. We loved it. It was the outdoors. We were happy even with the misquitos!
When driving the winds were strong, there were tornadoes, heaving rains, flooding, hail...
This morning we saw a rainbow. I haven't noticed rainbows til recently. Then I thought of Pete....Thx for helping me "see" the rainbows that have been around and the new ones that are now in my life.
Missing you always.....dear brothers Pete and Fritz...
Love,
Mary
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Molly Doran
climber
Bow, WA
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Sep 22, 2007 - 06:33pm PT
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Dear Molly
The other night I was a member of a panal presentation on a hot topic locally. I didn't want to be there because this topic is so charged. I wasn't feeling well either. I grudgingly took my seat and pulled out my notebook with the questions I was to answer and lo and behold, there was the NOLS Instructor's Newsletter which had just arrived in the mail, with a great picture of Pete seemingly enjoying putting up some horrendous route. It made me smile and suddenly my discomfort in the moment didn't matter anymore. I quietly said "Thanks Pete"
I miss you and love you
Molly
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climbluedog
Trad climber
AZ
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Sep 23, 2007 - 05:33pm PT
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Hi Molly- (and Avery)
I just returned a few days ago from my first horsepacking course in the (western) Winds....it was awesome... Our course leader is a NOLS veteran (20+ years), so yes, we shared about Pete at one point. And I was reminded of him several times on the course. Today, i went to a new church here in SoCal, and they lit a candle for "peace" but it my mind, it was for Pete (peace, too...) Courage and comfort in each step you take, 'K? ...Lisa Evans
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Ords
Mountain climber
Bridgton, ME
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Sep 24, 2007 - 10:02pm PT
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Dear Molly,
We've been remembering Pete a lot. Please don't think people aren't thinking of him due to traffic slowing down here. Maybe, they/we are thinking now more about his life, rather than his death. And what a life legacy it is! My heart breaks with sadness for you, but I hope TODAY (as I learned from LT) was okay.
Many hugs,
Laura (& Stefan too)
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Sep 25, 2007 - 12:44pm PT
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This past weekend Michelle Escudero, Kathy Brown, my sister Ann and I hiked into Leg Lake and the base of the cliff where Pete was killed. It was a beautiful day—the aspens were gold and the willows red. When we set out the sky was clear and blue. We hiked the route that Pete and I always took (which it turns out is NOT the easiest, but that was typical for us...). The base of the climb is raw, new land. There is still old glacial ice just below a skim of jagged, loose rocks. But the climb itself looks beautiful. I found Pete's hat among the rubble there. It was comforting to find it...but sad too. We built a cairn and left three red roses, a prayer scarf, a sage bundle and a candle. The red roses are significant because Pete thought that the only kind of flowers you ever give were red roses....
The weather changed on our hike out and now today three days later when I look up at the Winds they are covered in snow. So our cairn is buried and the flowers frozen.
I hope Pete is okay wherever he may be. I hope he is the stars or the rainbows... But I wish he were here. The cliff is so vast it just seems impossible that he could have been hit by a single rock. I don't know what to make of that. But I know asking why doesn't help in the long run so I'm trying not to go there though it is hard.
Once more I thank you all for continuing to write or call. It helps more than you can know to feel that support.
Molly
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Dorsey
climber
East Lansing, MI
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Sep 25, 2007 - 07:49pm PT
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Molly -
I am overwhelmed and in awe of your last entry. The rawness of the picture I have in my mind of you arriving at the base of that cliff...and to find Pete's hat...move me to tears. I think of you and Avery every day, and look for rainbows when the clouds roll in.
Love, Dorsey
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Lynn Morrison
climber
portland, or
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Sep 26, 2007 - 01:26am PT
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Molly,
I check the site nearly every day and want to write, but think I'll have nothing earthshattering to say, but i want you to know that:
I think of you every day, many times per day..and I'm still crying about the loss of Pete....and about your loss.
I know your journey is and will be so hard and so long...life can be so hard..
the experience has made me relish the lovely moments that happen in a given day, just sharing a great laugh with Amos and telling my family how much that I do love them..thank you for that gift.
i am so glad to hear that you made the journey into Leg lake before the winter and you made the journey back out again, another step, just one step at a time.
i send all my love and healing thoughts to you and Avery each day, hoping your heart continues to open slowly and you keep moving forward
many blessings
lynn
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Michelle L. Escudero
climber
Lander, WY
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Sep 26, 2007 - 04:36pm PT
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I felt nothing but deep privilege to accompany Molly into Leg Lake Cirque. The day was magnificent in many ways and as hard as the rock that makes the Winds one of the most beautiful places I know.
Molly led the way—a bouquet of red roses sticking out above her daypack. She was focused and on a mission. I was so hoping to have a vision, to see Pete, to hear his voice, something, anything. Okay, I admit it, I was hoping for a full-on Gabriel García Márquez moment.
Pete left Molly a sign—the funny blue pile hat.
Along the way we stopped and shared chocolate, smelly cheeses, and fruit. As we headed up to the cliff the wind blew with the sound of a freight train. Clouds raced above. Molly is my hero—she was strong, brave beyond what I would imagine. She walked up to the cliff as if arriving at a meeting—one steady foot after another—ready to do what she needed to do.
The moraine is so young feeling—the ice dirty and old. There is a beautiful slab of grey granite at the base of the climb, a foot thick and three feet long. We fumbled around, Kathy finally took the lead as we built a cairn; sang a song; read a poem; lit a candle; burnt sage; cried. The noise in my mind over and over again, “Why? Why Pete? Why here? Why now?” Hallow questions with no answers.
I left three sand dollars that I found as I wondered a Maine beach after receiving the news of Pete’s death. The small one was whole; the medium one was whole; the big one was broken in half and had a slice missing that I couldn’t find. These shells had traveled too far to break during the hike. Was that it? Was this my sign? No rainbow. No sunset. No stardust. No ghost from the past.
As we left the cliff the sky turned gray and rain fell. The heavens cried with us. As we walked out we knew we had done a good thing—honored Pete in the right way. Our feet carried us while our minds wondered not noticing where we were going.
Now what…we carry on just like Molly—one step in front of the other—because that is all we can do.
Michelle Escudero
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Andy Blair
climber
Lander
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Sep 26, 2007 - 06:02pm PT
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Hey Molly,
I had a really good time at the sweat the other day. That type of thing is a little out there for me but it was good to be there with you and all those friends and relations.
I'm looking forward to getting to have you and your mom and Avery over for dinner next week, so as to have more than just a few minutes at a gathering to chat.
Your entry about going up to Leg Lake was really striking to me, especially the part about finding Pete's hat. Linked with the sweat that created a really spiritual feel.
During the sweat I kept looking for some sign of Pete. To see some vision or glow. I asked for him to give us some sort of sign and kept waiting. During one of the breaks, while I was lying down inside the lodge, a small spider started climbing up my leg. I didn't take much notice as it climbed around and out of sight. I had completely forgotten about it until suddenly it stepped into my eye. My reflex was to brush it away but I immediately thought "Pete? Is that you?"
See you soon,
Andy
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Sep 26, 2007 - 06:12pm PT
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hey there... dear molly...
i had heard about that bad weather form a friend in minn. and as to your quote:
"when driving the winds were strong, there were tornadoes, heaving rains, flooding, hail..."
i am so very glad you and kids were safe... and had your special ride...
i just heard how you were fortunate to be the one to find pete's hat, and how you set out the roses... sorry to hear they are frozen, as the weather changed... would be nice if you were allowed to plant a local "wild rose" there, huh....
god bless... may the good lord continually be with you...
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Mei Ratz
climber
Lander, WY
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Sep 27, 2007 - 03:15pm PT
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Dear molly...
keep hanging in there...
my coach the other day told us a quote..."if you want to be good, you have to want it bad" - i want everything to be okay badly....but i know that someday, because we've fought,...things will be good....not the same, not like they were, and maybe not as close to our hearts....but we will be good.
here's to being good someday.
Love you.
Mei the CSU Rammie.
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Elizabeth Fricke
climber
Missoula, MT
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Sep 27, 2007 - 04:12pm PT
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Molly,
I wanted to write and tell you how much you and Avery have been in my thoughts. I have only met you a few times up at Sinks, but Pete was a mentor of mine at the school. I recall talking with Pete last November at the "Winter Rendezvous" in Driggs about transitioning into motherhood and all that meant (I was pregnant at the time with our daughter, Shelton). He was singing your praises and helped me realize that you could still be a mom and a climber. Eventhough I do not know you, you have been an inspiration to me in how a NOLS instructor, climber and mom can strike a balance in their life.
I also recall seeing you, Pete and Avery up at Sinks with Avery swinging on the rope below "Bloodline" and "Bush Doctor" and Pete saying to Avery, "...Okay, Daddys got to send now..." and then walking up "Bush Doctor" with little effort and a huge smile on his face. Pete was such an inspirational leader, climber, parent and partner.
As Pete was describing to me at the TVB how awesome of a mother and climber you were, his face lit up as he talked about the two most important people in his life.
Keeping you in my heart and thoughts.
Love, Elizabeth Fricke
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Hampton
Social climber
Tucson, AZ
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Sep 27, 2007 - 06:05pm PT
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Hi Molly,
I just returned to this forum to see how things were going. Since Pete passed away I also lost an uncle. I have been thinking alot about the cycle of our lives. Sometimes, it feels like we are just carried along by this invisible current without control over where it takes us, but then I think about the lessons I learned from Pete and my uncle. Lessons that they were not consciously passing on and how I hope to put those lessons to use. I know that in using what I have learned from the people who are important to me I'll keep those lessons floating high on that current.
Bridget and I just had our baby. I was afraid of being a parent, I doubted if I could be good at it, and if I would like it. Bridget has never had those doubts, she would always remind me to look at Pete and Avery. Following her advice did alot to put my concerns at ease. I expect that as she grows and we learn to be good parents that you and Pete and Avery will remain close in our thoughts.
Hampton
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Sep 27, 2007 - 11:09pm PT
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Dearest Friends and Family...may this bring you comfort.....
Hopi Prayer
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry:
I am not there, I did not die.
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inhisfootsteps
Sport climber
the heart of WY.
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Sep 27, 2007 - 11:49pm PT
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Molly and Avery, friends and family.
Youre still in my prayers every day, and you will be for many days, weeks and months to come. I know how hard it is to loose someone that important to you, trust me. But just know that I am still thinking of you guys.
Love and prayers,
Becca
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LT
climber
lander
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Sep 28, 2007 - 09:20am PT
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Dear Molly,
Often we think that our job as parents is to protect our children from hurting and pain. But it is in the struggles and painful times that we learn and grow the most. Really, we can't protect our children from all their pain anyway. And truly, they and us, become better, stronger, wiser, when we come through painful times. It is just hard for us to watch them suffer. And we suffer as well, when our life goes a way we did not choose and we are forced to deal with it.
How do we learn? Grow wiser? Learn compassion? Understand truth? We feel thankful when things are going well in our life. But we don't ask "WHY?" when things are going well. We don't tend to ponder the big questions like "What does this mean? What is my role in life? What is the meaning of all this?" when we are happy and rolling along. We will say prayers of gratitude and feel thankful for our good fortune, good health, happiness but we don't tend to look beyond that, to analyze, question, ponder. We think perhaps that it would jinx the good luck by questioning it too much.
So when things go "badly" (if there really is a "good" and "bad"), we are brought up short in shock and start questioning... "whoa! why is this happening? what is this for? why me? why now?" And the questions may lead to asking "What am I supposed to learn from this?" and that is when our understanding begins. The tough times in our lives teach us how strong we really are, expose our weaknesses, what we most care about, what we are truly grateful for in our lives. Tough times teach us to let go of the control we think we have, to lean on others for help, and to understand that we are all in this together.
So.... when things happen that shock us awake, it is an opportunity, should we choose to accept it, to really grow in understanding. What are we to learn from this? And who are we becoming now? Ah, those are wonderful questions to begin to ask.
With thanks and gratefulness and love,
Namaste
Lantien
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Katie Markwell Adkins
Social climber
Seneca Rocks, WV
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Sep 29, 2007 - 09:44am PT
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As I sip some hot coffee here at mom and dad's in Seneca , watching the sun come up over the majestic rocks I thought of the climbers and Pete, and that the rocks are what my father made a living from. And that no matter how many times I see the rocks they are still one of the prettiest sights I've ever seen.
Mom and Dad called me the day after they got the news. I was quite sadden and thought to myself...Pete what a great guy....he and Topper are the two guys that I remember the most from being on the porch of the Gendarme as a little girl w/ dad (John) as he worked and chatted w/ climbers.
Pete built our swing set in the back yard, he was over to our house for THursday night dinner, that mom (Helen) would cook for the "guys at the shop", during climbing season , my dad ripped a tendon in his finger dancing with Molly at their beatiful wedding on top of a mountain (I was too young to remember exactly which mountain) and I remember the pic of Topper, Mike, Tony, John gregory and Dad (John M) and others all posed w/ Pete overloking the valley below as a new life for he and you was about to begin. These are just a few memories that I have of Pete.
Today, a clear and crisp morning here at Seneca and beautiful as always, made me think of the mornings I would be at the shop with dad as a young girl. I can remember as the guys would be getting their gear ready for the day's climbs, and as they walked toward Roy Gap rd... the clanking of the gear...and these memories made me want to send me greatest sympathies to Molly, Avery, and the families. Molly and Avery my thoughts and prayers are with you.
With love and prayers,
Katie Markwell Adkins
Not really much of a climber, ---although I guess I should be since it is in my blood, just enjoy the outdoors.
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Johnny K
Mountain climber
Lander, Wy
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Sep 29, 2007 - 10:54am PT
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Molly-
John and Maggie co writing this-
We've both had difficulty posting to this site without fully understanding why. Perhaps the timing, disbelief, publicness etc. We both find however that we keep returning to read the postings and wisdom of our good friends and community and that we experience and find something positive from it-grace, thoughtfulness, love. And so we feel compelled to join.
We've discussed what would we want to hear or know if we lost each other. In the end it's simple: we'd want to hear that while one is gone, we will see each other again-(and in the time/space continuum it really won't be that long). We both really believe that, and we believe it for you and Avery. We can't say when or how you'll see Pete, but we both believe you will.....wholeheartedly. Unfortunately none of us know how all that works-save Pete.
In the meantime the collective pain of this community will still be here and we all need to deal with it in our ways and you in yours-always thankful that we still all have each other today.
All our love-the K's
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Sep 29, 2007 - 10:57am PT
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I came over to Jackson and Teton Valley yesterday to see friends. I was surprised at how hard it was to see the Tetons. I kept thinking of climbs and ski adventures Pete and I had done there together—it was as if every peak brought back some memory of hiking in the dark, posing for a self-timed summit shot, drinking coffee in the predawn darkness, racing the weather, running down the trail trying to get out in time to eat sushi in town, climbing or skiing. I haven't been climbing as much for myself in the last few years—mostly I climbed to be with Pete. Sport climbing in Lander was a way for us to be outside together and hang out with friends, but we would go into the mountains together to renew our partnership. It reminded us why we were together. We liked working hard as a team and being out in beautiful places. I'm not sure how climbing is going to be for me now. Part of me wants to push myself to get back into it on my own so I can be a competent partner without relying on Pete. But then part of me looks up at the mountains and thinks that it is too painful for me to go up there without him.
I once read this Sylvia Plath poem where she described her children as hooks that kept her in the world. I have thought of that a lot lately as Avery forces me to keep my head above water rather than sinking down into the darkness that lies so close to the surface for me right now. It is Avery's gift to me that she makes me see that the world is still beautiful although it is hard for me to fully appreciate that beauty right now.
I continue to thank you all for being out there.
molly
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Sep 29, 2007 - 10:57pm PT
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I've had a rough couple of days....missing Pete.
A friend passed on some special words of wisdom....
"Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances.
You can change your emotion immediately...by thinking of something joyful, or singing a song, or remembering a happy experience."
So...while I was just about to get into a "sad, missing Pete funk", I thought about Pete & that he only gave red roses. I wondered where he learned this. Mom told me, "That's what your father always did."
Thank you Pete for taking the sweet things in life and living them out in your life. I am thankful that you made flowers a wonderful, happy experience filled with love for your dear Molly & Avery. Red roses will always mean the love you have for them.
Love Your Sister,
Mary
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DHP
Mountain climber
Alta, WY
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Sep 30, 2007 - 01:07pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery --
As I read all of these beautiful entries and memories of Pete, my heart fills with both joy and sorrow. Your last entry, Molly, brought a flood of emotion and tears, feeling your pain and loss so deeply. We all wonder if this could happen to us someday. And having a child makes it seem that much harder. But I loved your thoughts about Avery and how she is helping you to keep your head up .... I want you to see the beauty again. And I hope it will be more beautiful then ever. You are living in some deep sadness and I feel it so powerfully. We have never spent lots of time together but we share some wonderful friends. And that connection is very real for me. I have always admired you, your courage and strength and kindness are inspiring. And now you are being forced to call on that courage and strength like you never have before. Please know that we send you more than you can possibly know. As I said in the card, I wake at night, I pause during my teaching, I stop at so many times during the day........thoughts of you and Avery fill me constantly and I am continually sending love and support your way. I sure hope that Tony can see you next Friday. We care about you and Avery very much. May your heart begin, slowly, but fully, to feel beauty and joy once again. Pete lives with you in your spirit and I could see him in your eyes yesterday, Molly. We love you.
Deb, Tony and Logan
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Allison Dittmer
Social climber
Topanga, CA.
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Dear Molly,
I find myself thinking of you and Avery and Pete so often. I keep returning to this forum, feeling asthough I want to write something to you- but never really know how to express myself here. I love knowing that there are so many people out there who think of you all- so many people are sending love to you. I cried when I read your last entry- I could really feel your sadness and pain. I know you'll return to climbing- when you're ready- and you'll always take Pete with you. We miss you and are sending you all our love-
Allison, Jason, and Casey
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Oct 11, 2007 - 12:21am PT
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Molly and Avery,
Still thinking of you both; still singing for Pete.
The Kelleys
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T2's Wife
Trad climber
Cardiff
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Oct 11, 2007 - 01:12am PT
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Molly and Avery,
As I am reading this tread tears are steaming down my face. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I am like many others a wife of a climber and news like this always puts a great deal of sadness in my heart. You are both in my prayers.
Chris
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Lynn Morrison
climber
portland, or
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Oct 18, 2007 - 12:23am PT
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Molly and Avery,
I have been thinking of you all day today....I miss you!
I begin my day with only candlelight and end it that way also..it helps me gradually enter the day and keep my senses quiet..I am able to enter the day more grounded and in touch with my heart.
I want to come and see you before the winter sets in, I will check with you before you go to Seneca and let me know if you are checking email anywhere else.
much love....
lynn
lynnmorrison@fastmail.fm
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Oct 20, 2007 - 05:51pm PT
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I'm told by my brother, Pete's close NOLS' friends that one of the courses he taught at NOLS was the Wind River Mountaineering course. So when our daughter, Molly Herber aka Mary Grace Absolon Herber decided on a NOLS course, it did not take her too long to choose the one that her Uncle taught.
I don't much like moving on without Pete around, but I know that Pete is pleased with what is unfolding. Let's all smile and know that Uncle Pete is thrilled and will watch over his niece as she goes on her first NOLS course next summer!
Love,
Mary
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Oct 22, 2007 - 02:12pm PT
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We will be gathering at Seneca Rocks at 4PM November 10 to remember Pete and others who have died recently. If the weather is good, we will be at the old Visitor's Center site, the new Visitor's center is a backup. Beer and food to follow at the Gendarme. If you can't make it and have stories or photos send them to me.
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Mamad
climber
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Oct 28, 2007 - 02:36am PT
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Dearest Molly and Avery:
I think of all of you so often. I hope and pray that this finds both of you healthy. I was driving down the street a few days ago and saw Howard in his truck. Suddenly I had a flashback to a day when I walked into the Evac office and found Howard and Avery playing. She was so beautiful and Howard was so proud of her. He told me that he thought she was even smarter than you and Pete! I don't think she was even 2. About that time Pete walked in and Avery's face literally lit up and her smile covered her whole face. I looked at Pete and he had the exact same look on his face when he saw her! It was awesome!
Just wanted to relay that little story and to let you both know that we are all still thinking of you and praying for happiness and peace to return to your lives.
Bless you all, Deb Olson
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Sally Kimmel
climber
Shepherdstown, WV
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Oct 29, 2007 - 03:32pm PT
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I've added a few more pictures to:
http://peterabsolon.blogspot.com/
There's a great one of Pete climbing at Carderock, one beautiful pic of Molly & Pete's wedding, a funny one of Pete climbing the side of Woodward High School, and a great one of Pete and Molly that they sent me.
See you at Seneca Rocks on the 10th,
Sally
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page pegram
Social climber
albuquerque, nm
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I just read the news about Pete and my first thought was, "Oh no, not Pete, he's so nice. That's not possible." I haven't seen Molly and Pete in years but this news certainly hits me hard. My thoughts go out to Molly and family.
Page Pegram
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John Gregory
Trad climber
washington, dc
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Gathering at Seneca Rocks 4PM this Saturday November 10 to remember Pete. Beer, food and lots of memories to follow at The Gendarme. Email gregoryj@mindspring.com for further information.
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Here is a picture of a cairn we built on a piece of land Pete and I own outside Lander. Many of you know the land from our parties there over the years. It has been a special place for us and I hope the cairn serves as a memorial and a meditation place where people can go to remember and think about Pete. It has certainly served that function for me. Thanks to all who helped conceive of and build the cairn. It means a great deal to Avery and me. (Although I have to be honest and say Avery is getting a little sick of going out there all the time.)
We are up and down. Life is hard and sad, but I'm probably as fit as I've ever been! Amazing what a distraction exercise can be. And our community of friends continue to be there for us in every way.
I hope to see people in Seneca on Saturday.
Peace,
Molly
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Nov 14, 2007 - 10:46pm PT
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The November 10th, 2007 gathering at Seneca Rocks, West Virginia celebrated the wonderful life that my brother, Pete, lived. We thank everyone for touching our lives through showing us the way Pete lived his life when he was at Seneca.
The Seneca Rocks Climbing School proved not only to be a school and store, but also a museum. You see, under the leadership & mentoring of John Markwell, Pete was an original climbing instructor along with Pete's dear friend Topper Wilson. Wonderful photos of him, Topper & others are on display which provide a history of the climbing leaders who came from this school. This school is set against the backdrop of Seneca Rocks National Park & visitor center where we reminisced about Pete with the towering Seneca Rocks in the background. Pete was with us - as he will always be. We walked the paths he walked and gazed up the rocks just as he gazed.
Arthur and Diane Kearns currently own the Seneca Rocks Climbing School and demonstrate the same wonderful commitment for rock climbers as Markwell did.
Going to Seneca was also painful because it was a reminder of the tragedy of his preventable death. The rock that fell that day on Pete was an act that should not have been. Falling rock is a danger that climbers are aware and take safety precautions for -like wearing helmets.
Actions to intentionally create falling rocks is a potential weapon that can hurt, maim, and in this case kill someone so dear.
To this end, we must all work in our outdoor circles to get the message to everyone that intentional rock throwing/dropping is dangerous & must not be done.
Thanks again for helping us remember Pete in such a wonderful way. We miss him as he would miss us; we laugh as he would laugh; we hug as he would hug; we pursue our dreams as he would pursue his dreams - until all our spirits unite.
Love Always,
Mary
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Sally Kimmel
climber
Shepherdstown, WV
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Nov 30, 2007 - 12:09pm PT
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Here are some photos that were forwarded from Pete's memorial service at Seneca Rocks.
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Arjan Goemans
Mountain climber
Hoeselt , Belgium
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Dec 14, 2007 - 01:23pm PT
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Dearest Molly,
I just found out about the sudden loss of Pete through the article in the January Issue of Outside. Soon I hit this blog. I met Pete only briefly during our Spring Semester Course 1991. You were our instructor for the whole period. Midway we had our climbing section in the Wind River Range, not too far from Lander. Not too far from Pete. You wanted too go and celebrate your anniversary together and you asked me and the rest of the group permission to “sneak” out for the evening and the night. Although we made a lot of jokes about it that night amongst each other and kept teasing you about it the following weeks, it seemed like a small thing to do back then. Looking back now
who were we not too have granted you that precious moment.
I also still remember vividly my first climbing experiences, balancing on ledges and muscling my way up, you shouting “have a grip and use your legs!”... You we’re belaying me and I had to put trust in myself and in you. At this time you maybe balancing on ledges yourself. Now it is your time to have trust in yourself , ‘cause I’m sure someone is belaying you.
I hope you can find the strength to carry on.
Arjan (Lumpy)
Spring Semester 1991
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Teeg
Trad climber
Kittredge,Colorado
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Dec 14, 2007 - 04:34pm PT
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I've only read this story just about 15 mins ago and was very sad to hear that the death of anyone could be caused by such reckless behaivor! I have not yet read all the posts here and will not add any of the anger that rose in me but just want to say that I've been climbing since the early 60's ('yep I'm a little older) lol and how sad I feel for Pete's wife and little girl. Please use common sense whenever outdoors, as bad things can and do happen to good people.I've seen my share of broken bones, been involved in recovery efforts and have seen a few climbers who have died. I myself have had 4 back surgeries and can still do a little bit of climbing although my 'Trad' days are over. Thank you for all who are safety consious when out there and always remain good stewards for the next generation. Goddess Bless --Teeg p.s. After reading most of the postings here I'm still so proud of the climbing community and how they have pulled together with all the heart felt writings here. This is my first time at this site but I've saved it and will visit often. Blessings to Molly and Avery, Pete's friends and family as I will also say a silent prayer.
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d. posada
Social climber
portland, OR
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Dec 21, 2007 - 07:41am PT
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Molly,
I just recently learned of Pete's accident from a past instructor on the opposite coast. I have such fond memories of spending time with you and Pete on a bunch of instructor seminars in the early 90's, (the red Ford Ranger days) probably starting with the WIS before a number of us went off to proctor that spring semester in the rockies. We also crossed paths a number of times in Lander and at Wind cave...
Its 4 am and I've just read or skimmed many of the postings here - it's devastating to hear the news and imagine your loss, sad to realize how long its been since I've been in touch with so many people I shared such wonderful, pivotal experiences, but also reassuring to realize the strength of the NOLS community and the love and sincere kindness represented here.
One thing stands out to me from my times with you and Pete. In contrast to so many of the accounts of Pete's climbing accomplishments, I recall seeing Pete in activities that were a bit more unfamiliar at the time - skiing, paddling - new skill areas for a lot of us taking the seminars. What stands out was his grace and ease with being a more of a beginner, the fun he had with being a little out of his element, and the kind and generous support he gave to all those around him who flailed or struggled far more than he did.
I feel lucky to have spent time with Pete in the field, and know that his joy, gusto, and equanimity is a model and inspiration for me still. While no one can replace him, I hope the kindness and support of your family and community is filling in parts of what must have felt like a gaping hole. Your courage and honesty to share your reflections here have been touching as well, as we all learn to navigate this unfamiliar territory.
My kindest wishes for you and Avery this holiday season,
David
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Dec 22, 2007 - 09:39am PT
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Hi Everyone~
Here are some Christmas stories from the Absolons...
Pete, Molly and Avery came to Minnesota for Christmas a few years back. We always have a lots of gifts and food around at the holidays. We went to see "Toad and Frog" at the Minneapolis Children's Theater and the kids loved it!
PetenMolly went out cross country skiing at Hyland Hills. Getting our workouts in is a "must".
We had a grand time and just hung out together. I remember Molly singing karaoke in our living room!
We also put on a great 70th and 75th joint birthday party for my folks at one of our Christmas'. I served fresh sushi as I knew Pete LOVED sushi! It was awesome.
The year before last PetenMollynAvery came back from out east and were delayed a night in Minneapolis for New Years. We were all the better for it as they joined the Herber family for a great party. Avery played with Kate Herber from Chicago in their imaginative play. I remember Pete talking with my husbands family and sitting back with his legs crossed like he would do ~ just enjoying the conversation. This is a special memory for me forever.
Pete drew my name for Christmas in 2001. I told him I loved family photos. So that year, I received a wonderful black and white framed photo of Pete, Molly & Avery. Yesterday I found a handwritten note in Pete's handwriting on the back of this photo. It says, "Christmas 2001. Picture taken July, 2001 at wedding in Teton National Park. To Mary, With love & affection. I know how much you like family photos. Love, Pete, Molly & Avery"
These are just a few of the more recent family memories that will be with me for ever at Christmas time.
We also have all the memories of my grandparents & aunt from Annandale, Minnesota~ Mongy, Paka & Norah who always spent Christmas with us. Pete shared alot of same interests as my grandpa, Paka, did i.e. hunting, fishing, outdoors, but most of all a warm personality and ability to connect on a personal level with the people they came in contact with.
Our holidays were always filled with football games ~ with the Dallas Cowboy games in the forefront especially after Fritz died. In fact, one year Mom and Dad gave the boys tickets to a playoff game when we lived in Dallas, Texas. Amidst the excitement, we lost the tickets - only to find them after great effort at the bottom of the Christmas trash. We all laughed.
So as I write here, my dear relatives are laughing from their heavenly pirches...I wish I could laugh like them, but that will come and go my whole life just like those powerful sea waves some larger than others.
Thank you for keeping our family from falling into doldrums as we cope with our loss. Thank you for keeping Pete's memory alive in our future as we relish in remembrances of him,
enjoy mountaineering and climbing activities and help us along our life paths.
Love Always,
Mary
Pete's sister
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Dec 24, 2007 - 01:51pm PT
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Hi all,
It's wonderful to read some new postings and to hear from people like Dave and 'Lumpy' from way back when. Thank you for writing. Avery and I have had a few weeks of character-building, homeowner, traveler hell. Seems as if everything in our house started breaking and Pete wasn't there to take care of things. Once again, my friends rallied and help defuse the emotions and take care of the problems,including someone shooting down the well with Pete's rifle!The well driller recommended that treatment. It seems to have helped although hasn't totally resolved my water woes. I have to admit I think my character has endured enough building lately and I wouldn't mind coasting for a while.
Christmas feels pretty empty and I would probably just skip it this year if it weren't for Avery. But we're surrounded by family, the sun has come out, my luggage arrived, so I'll be okay.
Thanks for writing. I still check in periodically and continued to be very moved to see new postings from old friends.
Molly
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 24, 2007 - 03:49pm PT
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hey there dear molly and family... i never knew you all, but have learned from so many wonderful shares here...
may your family now have the open doors of new and unique traditions, to come you way, that you will cherish, in new and near unbelievable special sweet ways.... the new year is soon to dawn, and may it be even brighter than expected, for you both, as you grow, after facing such great sorrows....
god bless... happy christmas of rememberances.. and happy new year, as to new creativity, as to those remmeberances...
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DSahli
Trad climber
Belfast, NY
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Dec 25, 2007 - 04:49pm PT
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Molly,
I know you won't remember me, but you, Avery and Pete came climbing for a few days to Red Rock on my NOLS course. FSR 9, 2003. I remember Pete swinging Avery off a hard sport route and she was all smiles. Merry Christmas, my family will be praying for you during this tough time.
Enjoy the snow.
Dan
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landerhunter
Social climber
Ruston, LA
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Dec 25, 2007 - 10:19pm PT
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Molly and Avery,
I would like to wish you a merry christmas from North Louisiana. I spent very little time with you on a spring semester in 2001 at sinks when avery was just a little tike, but i will never forget the teamwork you and pete showed with aves. I just found out that my wife an i will be having our second child and i hope that i can be as good as team mate to my wife and as good of a father to my children as pete was to you guys. i got to see pete this summer (early july) on a saturday evening at the cowfish as he was just back from climbing in the winds with dave anderson, while i was in town for a wedding, and he was just as i remembered him, one of the greatest men I ever knew and i will never forget how excited he was to see me but more than excited to see me, he was excited to be going home to see you guys. Again, i hope i can be the half the man pete absolon was.........i hope you have a great holiday season and i will never forget your family....Take Care
Cheers,
Hunter, Becky and Lander Smith
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BKurtz
Trad climber
Commack, NY
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Dec 27, 2007 - 12:51am PT
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Molly,
You and Pete were guiding lights during our SSR 1995 exploration of the Snake Gulch /kaibab plateau and north rim of the grand canyon. A long time ago, but the group may stand out as one of your more challenging. I am truly sorry for your loss. I am now married and have two boys myself, 2 and 4. I want you to know that your leadership, teaching, wisdom and guiding light helped me through the semester. I used what you both shared to establish an Outdoor Leadership Program as part of the Outdoor Emory Organization upon arriving back at school, 5 successful years with the Colorado State Forest Service, and continuing as a restoration ecologist and fire manager for The Nature Conservancy for the last 5 yrs. You have both been a true inspiration and without you I would not be where I am today. The world is better because of both you and Pete. Keep telling the stories of your life, of your adventures together to everyone. That will keep all that he is alive.
With love,
Brian
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blairstone
climber
lander
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hi molly,
a friend emailed me tonight after reading the outside article. she never knew pete and is far removed from the climbing scene, but she was very moved by the positivity that pete had on the people around him. and that email brought me back here to supertopo and i realized that over the weeks here in lander it appears that life continues and time passes... but not without the memory of pete. phil and i still speak of him often. and there isn't a day that goes by that i do not think of you and avery (and that chinese dress! the dress!). i have never been one for words and never know what to say in casual conversation, but wanted to tell you again that you are in our thoughts. and though we don't see you often, we remember. and we pray and hope that time will bring you peace.
avery and i have some sewing to do!
con paz, siempre...
blair
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camilla
climber
boise,id
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Hey Molly and Avery-
Here I am again checking this site, sitting at my work desk with tears streaming down my face.
We really loved your Christmas card. It is nice to have a picture of the two of you to look at and to send our love to. Arya and I were looking through past Christmases in our photo album. We have some pictures of a day of climbing in there, including one of Pete lifting Arya up to swing out of the cave, and a couple of Avery and Arya playing in the mud. Avery has a shirt on that you then handed over to Arya- she was wondering why Avery was wearing her shirt! The webs that connect us...
We love you! Boise's a cool place to check out if you ever need a road trip or a place to stay on your way to the west coast.
I am teaching second and third graders this year. I recently helped a 7 year old who had a close grandma die. She told me if she had a wish, it would be that death didn't happen. She said that then her grandma would be alive. She also thought it would be cool because there would be dinosaurs, but you wouldn't have to worry about them hurting you because there was no death. Kids are so resilient and amazingly creative!
I am glad that Avery is there for you-
Camilla and Arya
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Terri Payne
Trad climber
Kansas City, Missouri
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I recently found about Pete's death in the worst possible way, in a doctors office reading a climbing magazine... I knew Pete from his Seneca days when I dated and climbed with Mike Perlis. I am at a total loss for words (but not emotions) so I will just say, what a loss to humanity...
Terri
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Molly,
I'bve been meaning to send a note relating how honored I was that you came to our silly little fake-a-thon at the Folklore back before Christmas. BUT, I *do* think that the Folklore is a wonderful addition to Lander, and isn't John Mioncynzki (the cat playing accordion)a hoot?
I believe that the full Jalan Band will play there in February sometime. I hope for a chance to exonerate meself...
Shaun Kelley
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Hi Everyone....
Time is moving on and 2008 is before us.
A most wonderful tribute to Pete has been given from the Association of Experiental Education, an accreditation organization focusing on experiental adventure programming.
I have to say that my dear brother Pete linked up with some great organizations & this is one of them.
This organization produces a wonderful calendar and for 2008 is dedicated to the memory of Peter Henry Absolon. Included is that wonderful photo of Pete majestically sitting on his rock thone with his Patagonia crown!
Below this photo is written:
"An enthusiastic and passionate outdoor educator, Pete was the consumate professionial. NOLS and the outdoor community are better as a result of his dedicated service to the industry and his students.
Pete's attitude and sense of fun were infectious and every person he spent time with was lifted by his spirit.
Thanks, Pete!"
What I most like about this quote is that it is written in the present tense.
May our hearts smile as we live our lives each day. May each of us touch someone today in the way that my brother, Peter, touched people he came in contact with daily.
Take Care.....
Love,
Mary
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Beeper
climber
los angeles, CA
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Jan 13, 2008 - 01:15pm PT
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Wow! Oddly enough my husband told me about a climber who was killed instantly when a rock hit him in the head. I thought then: "how awful!". Then, five months later, I find out that that climber was Pete Absolon. Molly I am so sad ands shocked by the news. What a loss for you and Avery and the climbing community who very clearly adored him. I'm so glad you and he connected and that you have Avery to share your stories with. It is such an unfortunate loss. My love to you both and your extended families too. xxooBeeper
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Double D
climber
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Jan 13, 2008 - 03:01pm PT
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My heartfelt condolences to your family and to the many friends of Pete. He sounded like an incredible guy with a loving family. May he have rest in a better place.
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Jan 30, 2008 - 06:49pm PT
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It's been a rough couple of weeks for me and I keep coming back to the forum just in case there are more postings. I had not realized how much this virtual community had come to mean to me, especially during those hours when I'm home at the computer trying to get some work done. So it's hard to find that most of you have moved on. I know that is the natural way of things, but it's still sad as I cannot say I have felt much movement yet.
Avery and I have on several occasions taken out the book made by Diane Barriero for us with postings from this website and read stories about Pete out loud before going to bed at night. These moments have been really precious for us. We've laughed and cried and Avery has told me her own stories, which I need to write down to record. But it is hard for me to do it very often. I've been struggling with the reality of Pete's absence and the stories, while they bring back great memories, also make his loss more acute. I know that I am learning a lot about love, community, friendship, life, anger, everything as a result of this journey, but I sure wish I could talk to Pete about it.
So maybe this is my plea, if you happen to still check this web site occasionally, please do send in your stories. Avery and I treasure them. And we're still here trying to figure out what to make of our lives now.
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O.D.
Trad climber
LA LA Land
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Jan 30, 2008 - 08:10pm PT
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Dear Molly and Avery:
I was unaware of your tragedy until I read the article in Outside a few weeks ago. It is a heart-wrenching story that caused me, as I'm sure it caused countless others, to re-evaluate what is important in life. That prompting, I suppose, is one of the few good things to come out of something so terrible.
One of the wonders of the Internet age is our ability to reach out, disseminate news of happy or tragic events, and then celebrate or mourn collectively on a scale that was previously impossible. I imagine that your book of collected stories of Pete, gathered through this particular medium, has already grown to an impressive size. My loss is that I did not know Pete, and so am unable to contribute a story for your book. However, I do send the two of you, through this medium and through the timeless channels of the soul, my sincerest wishes for consolation, strength, and the ability to see a promising pathway ahead.
Richard J.
Los Angeles, CA
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jan 30, 2008 - 08:57pm PT
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One of the most exciting things I did with my brother Pete was canoeing down the Snake River in front of the Tetons with Avery at his side.
I remember him saying that he had lots of friends in Lander who could loan him a couple of canoes. Well he showed up at Jackson Lake Lodge in this mud drenched truck with these 2 large canoes roped to the roof of his car. Of course, the Aves was with him
at his side. It was exciting and so much darn fun!
We then proceeded to canoe for several hours with the Tetons picture window before us. Pete led the way with his stories. His tender comforting words for Avery were interspersed meeting her every need as she dozed off strapped to her secure chair.
The following Christmas a special gift was a view of Signal Moutain another reminder of our trip out west.
If that wasn't enough, Pete then took us all to a wonderful restaurant that he knew in Jackson. The place was packed and the food exquisite. We had venison and it was to die for. It was just fun being with my brother Pete.
These wonderful memories of our trip to Yellowstone & the Tetons are a gift. The spirit of adventure coupled with warmth of his love truely was how he liked living his life.
Love,
Mary
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jan 30, 2008 - 08:57pm PT
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One of the most exciting things I did with my brother Pete was canoeing down the Snake River in front of the Tetons with Avery at his side.
I remember him saying that he had lots of friends in Lander who could loan him a couple of canoes. Well he showed up at Jackson Lake Lodge in this mud drenched truck with these 2 large canoes roped to the roof of his car. Of course, the Aves was with him
at his side. It was exciting and so much darn fun!
We then proceeded to canoe for several hours with the Tetons picture window before us. Pete led the way with his stories. His tender comforting words for Avery were interspersed meeting her every need as she dozed off strapped to her secure chair.
The following Christmas a special gift was a view of Signal Moutain another reminder of our trip out west.
If that wasn't enough, Pete then took us all to a wonderful restaurant that he knew in Jackson. The place was packed and the food exquisite. We had venison and it was to die for. It was just fun being with my brother Pete.
These wonderful memories of our trip to Yellowstone & the Tetons are a gift. The spirit of adventure coupled with warmth of his love truely was how he liked living his life.
Love,
Mary
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Rick A
climber
Boulder, Colorado
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Jan 31, 2008 - 11:09am PT
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Molly,
Don’t despair. The climbing community has not forgotten about you or Pete. I never knew Pete, but I know how NOLS affects young lives. My son had a great experience two years ago on a month-long course and who knows, he may have met Pete in Lander. Also, my original climbing partner learned the ropes on a NOLS course way back in 1971 and then proceeded to teach me. So the connections to Pete run deep in ways you cannot even imagine. You and Avery should be proud of the positive influence he had on so many people.
I cannot imagine saying anything that could possibly ease your pain, but don’t think that your friends, and even those you don’t know, have forgotten.
Rick Accomazzo
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climbluedog
Trad climber
AZ
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Hi Molly,
My connections to NOLS are strong- and I will always remember dinner at the Cowfish (the Tuesday before Pete died) with the three of you after a few hours of climbing at the Sinks. I remember that Avery got chicken on a stick, and that she traded Shakespeare lines with the bartender and how easy it was to be with you guys. And I still remember the fairie house Avery built and how proud Pete was that day because she had climbed her highest yet! My memories and story of knowing Pete so very short, I am honored that I (briefly) knew him- I CAN'T forget that....
:) Lisa E.
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SteveW
Trad climber
Denver, CO
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Molly
I recently read the article about you & Pete in the
WOC newsletter. I didn't know Pete, but he's part of
the climbing community which we all are members of.
I wish I'd been back at Seneca when he'd been there, but
I left the east in '76 to be out here. Anyway, I hope
that you and Avery will find peace one of these days.
I can't imagine the pain you two (and the rest of your families)
feel.
My best wishes.
Steve
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sally
climber
Finland
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Hey Molly,
We're here! I am sorry, I feel so far away here in Finland where the landscape is so different from our mountain home, but in my heart you all are always close, even Pete. I think about you all every day and Avery's most recent school picture is on my fridge, so her smile brightens my days (still quite dark here). I must say that being in such a different world and far away makes it hard for me to grasp the reality that Pete is truly gone, unlike right after it happened when it hit me so hard. I am sure this is so different from your experience Mol, but somehow I keep seeing Pete loading up the truck and heading out for a day at the crags, or cooking in your kitchen, or loading the pellet stove, or putting his skins on his skiis to start laying the skin track for all of us. So I guess that I am in this weird limbo where I almost imagine he's still alive and having fun with you all and then it hits me like a little shock each day. I am crying now and I wish I could come visit and spend some time with you and Aves. I am holding your hand from afar and really wish you could feel how much I think about you and love you. Hug Aves for me and ask her to hug you for me too.
Love,
Sally (M's sis)
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Janeen
climber
Lander, WY
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Hi Molly,
Ryan and I are down here in Tucson and we think of you, Avery and Pete often. I too still come to this site often. Like many others, I read the stories as a way to remember Pete and stay connected to you and Avery.
The other day some instructors were sharing their stories of the best briefings they ever had and someone mentioned one Pete had facilitated. It was a great story and it reminded me what an amazing educator Pete was and what a great mentor he is to me.
I feel so fortunate to have met you three. All of you are inspiring and I have learned so much from each of you.
I hope that your winter is full of rainbows and warm times spent with friends.
Take Care,
Janeen Hutchins
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Nancy Daugherty
climber
Washington, DC
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Molly,
I still check this site regularly and agree that it is a great form of community connection. It's been especially wonderful to read postings from your family.
Late in the afternoon a couple of weeks ago I was working away in my office on Pennsylvania Avenue and someone started yelling to come quickly to the window (we have a great view of the US Capitol building). Much to my surprise there was a a double rainbow over the capitol.
Naturally, I thought of you.
much love to all,
Nancy (WVa friend living in DC)
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elemental
Gym climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Feb 14, 2008 - 05:45pm PT
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Danielle
Gym climber
Lake Forest, IL
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Feb 25, 2008 - 05:31am PT
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Dear Molly,
I was fortunate enough to climb with Pete on the trip
through the Wind's in July/August of 2007, a few weeks
before Pete passed away.
He was an amazing leader and he knew how to relate to
everyone. He left our trip early, and everyone was so
happy to see him back in Lander after our return. Its
so hard to think that just ten days later he was gone.
I went on my NOLS trip to straighten out things in my
life and really understand where things were headed.
Pete understood everything, and I could always talk to
him. My trip wouldn't have been the same without him.
That sounds really cliche, but I think everyone on my
trip would've agreed.
Hearing the details about Pete's death was so scary,
because it was so coincidental. Throughout our trip,
Pete would always stress the safety with rockfall.
EVERYTIME even the smallest rock fell on someone's
climb, Pete would yell to "be careful," that he wanted
to be able to make it home to his daughter! Everytime.
It didn't help that he was killed just a few days
after my trip ended.
I'm ashamed that it has taken me so long to write.
Last august, when I first heard that Pete had passed
away, I didn't know what to say with comforting words,
mostly because I wasn't sure I believed them. I found
out what happened on the day that I left home for my
freshman year of college. It was so hard to know that
someone who had helped me to overcome so much had gone
when i was about to make the biggest change thus far.
Well, what motivated me to write is that I was hoping
you could email me your home address. I swear I'm not
creepy, but I'm an art major and did a drawing using
many pictures from my NOLS trip, including ones of
Pete. I am proud that it has since been praised by
many professors at the University of Illinois, was
hung in the Krannert Art Museum, and has made its way
through other art shows as well. The piece is named
after him. I would like to mail the original drawing
to you, it would mean so much to me.
Thank you, and I hope you and Avery are doing well.
Please, please, please email me at bluebug_85@yahoo.com
Danielle Drummond
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landerhunter
Social climber
Ruston, LA
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Feb 28, 2008 - 12:28pm PT
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WHAT A GREAT PICTURE OF AVERY IN PATAGONIA'S NEW CATALOG
HUNTER SMITH
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Feb 28, 2008 - 08:04pm PT
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Avery ~ we will be sure to bring our Patagonia Catalog to
the beach this summer so you can autograph it -- way cool!
Love,
Aunt Mary, Uncle Bill,
Cousins Chris & Molly
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MWhite
Social climber
Lander
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I saw a beautiful sight today at the Beaver Creek ski trails. Forty-seven racers lined up and at the count of "3, 2, 1, 'yeah buddy!'" skied away in a festive mood. A sizable herd of spectators gathered to cheer them on, and all of the racers did a great job. The raffle was a HUGE success, thanks to the incredible generosity of local businesses and the optimism of the raffle ticket purchasers.
Throughout the day kids dug snow forts, cocoa was sipped, sleds zipped down the hills and lots of laughter punctuated the conversations.
Two things all of you should know: Molly was the first woman finisher (yea!!) and Avery won the giant stuffed alligator in the raffle (thanks, Nadine!)
My thanks to all who participated and helped celebrate the power of friendship. Today's gathering was a wonderful honoring of Pete's spirit. It was a heartwarming show of community and love. I'll be smiling for a while to come.
We're already putting thoughts towards how to make it bigger and better next year....
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KB lander
Trad climber
Lander
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I too saw a beautiful site today at Pete's Ski. It was after the race, when I went to do a lap since I'd been manning the kitchen. It was this big, black, cool cloud over the Wind River high peaks. It looked a bit ominous at first, but then I realized it was watching over our event and making sure we were all safe and happy.
It was Pete. It was nice. It was reassuring in this time of doubt. We all still miss Pete from the bottom of our hearts to the top of our little heads. Our community lives differently because we knew Pete. We are more inspired, more spontaneous, more ambitious, and kinder people.
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Robert Harding
climber
Omaha, NE
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Molly - This evening I was talking to my sister, Tracy, (a friend of Cornelia's from the old Kent days) and she was telling me the tragic story and so I stopped by the forum; what a tremendous outpouring of support and love from friends and family. Clearly, Pete touched many people's lives. He must have been a most remarkable person. I hope you and Avery are well.
Robert Harding
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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I wanted to share a letter I wrote to the Lander community following this past weekend's ski race to honor Pete and raise money for the memorial fund for Avery. It's been a sad time for me lately, but this past weekend was a bright spot.
Here's what I wrote:
Dear Lander Community,
Thanks so much to each and every one of you who helped make this weekend’s For Pete’s Sake Ski Race a success. I was honored and moved by the outpouring and support that was evidenced by the number of participants, spectators, raffle ticket buyers, and businesses involved in the event. Pete would undoubtedly have been both embarrassed and very touched by this showing of generosity.
I have to admit I approached the day with trepidation. I was grateful to the people who planned and hosted the race, and frightened to be exposed and vulnerable in front of a crowd. My grief is still very raw and I worried that I’d have a hard time at an event honoring Pete especially just days after so many of us had come together to commemorate Jim Ratz. It can be emotionally exhausting to deal with the sense of loss that these events often trigger. But the For Pete’s Sake race day turned out to be a beautiful, fun gathering, and I’m very grateful to everyone who was involved.
Thanks especially to Missy White, Tavis Eddy, Paul Cornia, Kathy Brown, Steve Matson, Garth Reber, Chris Brauneis, Brian Stanford from Gannett Peak Sports, NOLS Rocky Mountain, Elemental Training Center, the people who stood along the race course as medical support, the people who cheered the racers along, the businesses that donated gifts for the raffle, Nadine Nilles who gave up her prize—a giant stuffed alligator—for Avery, our friends who came from out of town to race and cheer, the people I’ve never met who showed up to participate—everyone who helped pull the day off, thank you. I’m sorry if I missed any key names. I hope you know I’m grateful to all of you.
I feel blessed to be part of this community and am not sure how I would have survived if it weren’t for the incredible support Avery and I have received from our friends and neighbors over the past six months. And for those who are interested, Avery is signed up to go to a horseback riding day camp with her cousin this summer—her first use of the memorial fund.
Thank you all so much,
Molly Absolon
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Basso
Social climber
Laramie, Wyoming
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Mar 12, 2008 - 03:48pm PT
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Molly,
As always, a gas and an honor to see you rockin' out with our little band...
'Yuh *Real* Wyomin' Woman Yuh'
Shaun Kelley
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Mar 25, 2008 - 11:23pm PT
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Dear Friends and Family ~
Some of you may check this website knowing that it is @ March 30th, Pete's birthday and just wondering who might have written something on the blog. So being the older sister I am, here I am just thinking about Pete and knowing that many of you out there are also. Thank you for your thoughts.
I am thinking about the beautiful cairne that Molly made for Pete and the Tibetan prayer flags that blow with the wind. It is a wonderful place to be.
Please join me and put on a "Pete smile" this March. Share the positive energy that continues to surround each of us daily as we remember how blessed we are for being touched by such a wonderful individual and how this gift keeps on giving.
Mary Therese
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Al_T.Tude
Trad climber
Monterey, CA
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Mar 31, 2008 - 07:41pm PT
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I was visiting my Boy Scout council's lodge in the Sierra Nevada Mountains this winter and saw a story posted on the bulletin board. It was entitled "Why We Don't Throw Rocks". On this sheet of paper the story of Peter's misfortune was told.
Sadly, this will not return Pete to his family and friends, but his story is now being told to boy scouts not only to teach the perils of tossing rocks, but also to alert them to be aware of the unintended consequences of their actions.
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Laurie
climber
Boise, Idaho
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Dear Molly,
I'm embarrassed to say that I just found out about Pete's death so long after the fact. So while your grieving started in August, mine starts today.
I knew you both, oh so briefly, as you were instructors on the climbing section of my semester in Baja in 1995. How lucky I was to have the privilege of your energy for a mere two weeks of my course. You were this strong, radiant, grounded woman who I looked up to and Pete was a goofball who made me laugh. The two of you are definitely the standout instructors from my course.
Perhaps I think of Pete when I think about my NOLS course because he was the one stuck with the assignment of driving me 5 or 6 hours to the U.S. border for medical treatment. I was miserable, with severe intestinal pain, but half the time I couldn't tell if I was doubled over from the pain or from the laughter. When we got to the border, the border agent asked Pete if he had any "armas." Well, much to my dismay, Pete replied, "Thermos? Yes, we have a thermos." Oh dear. You can imagine the reaction...several border patrol agents ordering us out of the van...All was cleared up quickly and Pete, of course, was unfazed. Later, at the hospital, Pete's running commentary made the experience much more interesting. He quickly dubbed my doctor "Dr. Nairobi" and seemed to delight in the fact that this guy spoke absolutely zero English...making it hard to receive proper treatment.
Anyway, this story has no point other than to remind you of what you already know...Pete was a special person with an incredible knack to see the humor and the positive in everything. In just two weeks he (and you!) managed to make such an impression on me that 13 years later I can still see his smile. Now I wish I had reached out to you and to him long, long ago just to say "Thanks. I learned a lot from you guys. I'm so glad you were instructors on my course."
Sending you and Avery love and light as you navigate this new and unwanted chapter in your life.
Namaste,
Laurie Wertich
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Hi Everyone~
Spring is here! finally.
It has been a long winter, but I know that the spring & summer will be filled with lots of good things.
Our lives are connected with family and friends these days~the jewels that life gives us.
Our daughter is going on a NOLS Mountaineering course in June, the one that Pete taught. Our son is going to climb Denali through Alaska Mountaineering School~another connection with Pete.
May this find you enjoying those around you for today.
Mary
Pete's sister
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jul 31, 2008 - 12:44am PT
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August of 2008 is around the corner. So many times I have come to this blog site as a place to mourne and celebrate Pete's life. So once again I am here....and you are too my dear family and friends. It has been a year....quite a year. Our lives move on and I'd like to catch you up.
Our son, Chris, summitted Denali on July 2, 2008. AMS did a great job with this course. A storm was moving in, but it cleared. He summitted in PetenMolly's 20th wedding anniversary...need I say more. A gift for our hearts.
When summitting Chris wore Pete's same black overalls that Pete is pictured in on his "throne" photo....
Our daughter, Molly, had a marvelous NOLS Mountaineering course this summer ~ the very course Pete and Gary Wilmot taught together.
As you can imagine, Pete would have just LOVED being a part of this. It is sad and we miss him, but I know he has been with us - cuz this is all too wonderful for it to have happened without his guidance and love.
July was our Jersey shore family time together. Molly and Avery and all of us were there. It was really good. We are now actually to the point that we can talk about Pete without going into some major duldrums! We laugh and we want to talk about all of our great times together. We are building on our wonderful past for new future and it is unfolding before us.
Avery is special. At minature golf on Long Beach Island, NJ she remembered doing this with her Dad. And...I love when she says, "You know my Dad was funny!" Her presence is a present always.
Our neighbor returned from a NOLS course in India. During this course, a NOLS instructor shared what a wonderful example of a hero that Pete was. To know that my neighbor now knows Pete is Pete being close to us.
So, I smile, I look forward to sharing and hearing about Pete more in the future. I look forward to our lives continuing to move on with new opportunities to love and care for others.
May your heart be warmed. May you enjoy a smile.
Take Care Always,
In Love,
Mary
Pete's sister
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Jul 31, 2008 - 12:57am PT
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hey there dear mary... as you know, i did not know any of you, but i have hoped and prayed for your families's victory...
this is a bump so all your beloved friends will soon see this and send more well-wishes to you...
may god continue to bless you so very, very much, with love and respects to all...
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 12, 2008 - 12:14am PT
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August 11, 2008
Peter, we missed you today ~ we remembered you ~
Peter, we relished the rich life you led ~
Peter, we love what you gave to so many in this world ~
Peter, we are the better for it ~
Peter, we will miss you always ~
Laughing, Loving and Smiling Always,
Mary
xoxo
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Aug 12, 2008 - 12:45am PT
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Hello, Molly...Mary and entire family. My deep, deep bottom of the heart sympathy, love and caring for you in the loss of the one who was the spice and light in your life.
My husband Dan, a climber BITD, Father of 4 and LOVED, Died at the end of December 2007. The pain of loss, the grief is something no one can comprehend until it enters your life.
Struggling to process my best friends death, these words came to me. "The pool of grief has no stream out. But when those that love us dip a cup into the pool and take away some of the grief the pool slowly becomes less and less." God be with you all now and in the years and special days that you will always remember. Lynne Leichtfuss
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Alison Frost
climber
Crestone, Colorado
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I know this blog won't go on forever, but I've been touched by how many times Pete is remembered in the NOLS community, and with such affection. Best wishes go out to Molly, Avery and the whole family - may you know that Pete's spirit is not soon forgotten.
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Dec 19, 2008 - 09:13pm PT
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This forum dedicated to Pete began with this quotation,
"Life is short, and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who walk the way with us. So be swift to love and make haste to be kind, and peace will be always with you."
As my two boys now head into their first Christmas without their father, Mark, who died in April I try to make sense out of all this loss in their/our lives and don't succeed. I keep coming back to this quotation, however, because it does help and I do find some comfort.
We miss you Pete and Mark.
Cornelia (one of Molly's sisters)
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 19, 2008 - 11:48pm PT
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I wish all of the bereaved good memories of Pete over the
holiday season which is so hard for the survivors.
Rest in peace, Pete.
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Molly A
Social climber
Lander
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Feb 24, 2009 - 11:25am PT
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I'm not sure who, if anyone checks this forum anymore. I haven't in a long time, but this has been a hard week for me and I found myself circling back to the virtual community that helped me through those early months after Pete died. Avery and I are doing well really, but this morning there was a rainbow arcing out over Red Butte and pointing to the land that Pete and I own and where we shared so many good times together and with our friends. For some reason that rainbow felt both like a sign from Pete and a reminder of the fact that I will never see him again, never touch him again, never be with him again... and that breaks my heart all over again. I have healed and have found new love and happiness, but as people who have lost loved ones know, the scars are thin and easily reopened in spite of how life moves on. I miss you Pete. I still feel as if you have been stolen from us too soon.
For all those who have written here or who come here sometimes, thank you for your support. It helps.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Feb 24, 2009 - 11:36am PT
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Molly
I can't know how hard it must be for you and Avery.
I wish that I knew some words that might bring comfort to
you both.
Remember the good times.
I hope in time your grief will abate.
Take care.
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nita
climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
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Feb 25, 2009 - 02:45am PT
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Molly, sorry to hear you've had a hard week. You are still in our hearts and prayers. Sending Love and Peace. ..nita
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dipper
climber
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Feb 25, 2009 - 02:50am PT
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Molly,
You are not alone.
I wish you and Avery all the best.
Especially Avery.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Mar 29, 2009 - 11:39pm PT
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March 30, 2009
And on this day that Pete was born, we think of him.
His wonderful smile, his joy of family and friends...daughter Avery and wife Molly...
A gift for our lives, forever.
We celebrate his life today and "party" knowing he is
smiling and laughing right along with us.
With Love always,
Mary
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Mar 29, 2009 - 11:53pm PT
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hey there dear mary... say, thank you so very kindly for your share....
may the good lord send you many more special memories, that have been tucked away for so long....
may they come in new and speical ways..
god bless so much...
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Fletcher
Trad climber
the end of the world as we know it, & I feel fine.
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Mar 30, 2009 - 12:02am PT
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While we all may not be speaking, many are hearing you Mary. And we all are celebrating Pete on this day.
Peace,
Eric
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Topper Wilson
Trad climber
Pueblo, CO
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Mary,
Thanks for posting Pete's b-day. I knew it was sometime around early spring but could not remember.
Molly, Avery,
I come back to this string periodically, just to check in. I'm sure there are many that do come back too and that have not posted for want of something to say. Death is a hard part of life.
Some of my memmories of Pete are so vivid that I can see him today. The most powerful seem to be those of his mannerisms, not all the years of climbing we did. This surprises me though I suppose it should not for we had a strong bond.
Here are a few which I hope I've described adequately enough to crack a smile... When Pete wanted to challenge something someone had said, he'd stick his neck forward and quickly say, "what-do-ya-mean?" His eyes would be intense and inquiring, his tone incredulous. Other times, when he was jazzed about something, he'd move his head, forward then backward, forward then backward, much like a robitic chicken. When he was really happy, he'd walk around doing that. He was in his groove, no doubt about it! His happy smirk is a powerful memory too...
Hope all who knew and love Pete are doing well.
Best,
Topper
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scuffy b
climber
Frigate Matilda
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Hey, Thanks, Topper.
That description got me to crack a smile, as well.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Hey everyone...
How ya doin?
Mannerisms...Topper you are so right...It reminds me of when the Aves said, "My daddy is funny". Yes Aves, he was so funny and all these wierd mannerisms just were in our midst making
us feel good all under when my dear brother was around...
so...see ya...
xoxo
Mary
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COT
climber
Door Number 3
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Pete in a hail storm during the first one day ascent of the Original Route on Mt Hooker Wind River Range 2002
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scuffy b
climber
Frigate Matilda
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That's one happy looking guy.
Probably freezing his buns off, too.
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COT
climber
Door Number 3
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Ya, he is smiling because all I brought for rain gear was a big trash bag bag. We were only half way up the route and had just climbed a huge traverse, so rapping was going to be problematic. Luckily the hail storm only lasted an hour and we continued up topping out just before dark.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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May 25, 2009 - 09:19am PT
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Memorial Day
May, 2009
Hi Everyone~
On this Memorial Day weekend, I think of my brothers, Pete and Fritz. They are laughing as I write this and probably would be driving me crazy if they were both in the same room with me now! I "visit" the places where we laughed together as kids...I think of us up in northern Minnesota on beautiful, glacier created Batson Lake where we fished and shot targets with my grandfather who we called, Paka, and had so much fun together.
We always had tons of mosquito bites and we ate fresh fish alot.
May a fun memory be with you today as you think of Pete....and cherish the gift of time we had with him.
Mom has read and re-read all of Peter's Supertopo comments several times over this past year. She said it is amazing the number of people that Pete touched during his life and that she only learned of many of these by your comments on supertopo. Thank you to all who gave us this living gift.
Love,
Mary
Pete's sister
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Rick A
climber
Boulder, Colorado
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May 25, 2009 - 09:44am PT
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Best wishes to Pete's family.
Rick
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Chinchen
climber
Living on the road
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May 25, 2009 - 01:00pm PT
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This makes me angry! Im so sorry about your loss. Condolences to you and your little one.
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Molly A
Social climber
Lander
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Wow, i haven't been here in a while and so was very moved to see new posts. Thanks for hanging in there with us and continuing to share. It is very meaningful for me and I am grateful, especially as I feel my memories of Pete become less vivid. I'm writing about Pete's story now for a memoir-writing class and have found myself frustrated at times by my inability to recreate his voice, to see him in motion, or relive conversations. There's so much about him that I find has slipped away or become one-dimensional like a photograph, so hearing the memories of others is wonderful. It fills in these gaps that make me sad...
Thanks.
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Evel
Trad climber
the cliffs of insanity
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Molly, I think of Pete often and just wrote a short story for Mountain Gazette but it didn't get accepted, so I'll try to dig it up and send it to you.
Warmest Regards, Rick Mix
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jun 23, 2009 - 10:58pm PT
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Molly Herber, Pete's neice, is on a NOLS Mountaineering course in Cascade Mountains of Washington State June-July, 2009.
She was honored with 3rd place in her high schools Steinman Poetry Award 2009. She wrote this after deaths of a former classmate, teacher and uncle Pete. Molly spent the summer of 2008 on the NOLS Mountaineering Course Wind River where she said spent much time thinking of him.
Dust
I reach out, but you slip through my fingers like
scorching golden sand. Colors bleed from the
bleached bones of memories, crumble to dust in my hand.
I squint into the blinding white glare, trying to see your face;
The hard light ricochets off a thousand
lingering, scattered impressions, but of you there's no trace.
The brittle skeletons of our memories surround me,
fallen carelessly among the comfortless rocks.
In the searing heat I inhale their rising dust,
taste their stale flavor, my mouth as dry as chalk.
If I could just hear you breath, feel your heartbeat,
hold you close one more time, I could never thirst for
water or shade again, just to hear your voice
trickle like rain, a soothing chime.
But the frail memories still crack and crumble to dust
in my hand; Their distorted glimmers sting my
eyes as I sit alone in the sand.
I unconsciously slip a little dust into my pocket,
guided by instinct or moronic hope. I'm not ready to
let you go yet, to turn around and leave the desert
I'm clinging to like a falling climber to a rope.
But when I am, I can reach into my pocket and
think of you, My gentle shade, my earth-scented
breeze, my water clean and cool.
The dust lining my pockets, ground into my skin,
is my treasure, and you are the dust; Just remember me,
and I will never forget you.
You will not be lost.
Molly Herber 2009
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KB lander
Trad climber
Lander
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I still come here and Pete still comes to parties. He blessed our home warming party with one big, cool rainbow.
Thanks for coming Pete - KB
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Hope you're doing better, Molly!
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MWhite
Social climber
Lander
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Aug 10, 2009 - 04:22pm PT
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I can hardly believe that tomorrow marks the 2 year anniversary of Pete's death. I still think of Pete quite often and all that he was and continues to be for his family, friends and community: a man of great integrity, passion, adventure, athleticism, and compassion for others.
Molly and Avery, I am so glad that you two have emerged from the hell of losing Pete with such grace. You're both remarkable and admirable. I'll go walk on your property tomorrow, say hi to Pete, and send all of you my love.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 10, 2009 - 11:04pm PT
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Hi Everyone:
The Absolons just had a wonderful family vacation together with cousins galore last week. We relaxed knowing that this two year "anniversary" loomed around the corner.
We talked about Pete. We miss him a ton. We looked and laughed at old family movies of Peter as little boy with his crew cut that Avery thought "was so funny". We saw his distinctive walk and his smirky smile. And, we saw him early in his climbing career near the caves in the Czech Republic, his curiousity abounded and eyes viewing the rock climbing areas.
We love you Pete. We find love in our hearts for each other and your spirit is always with us. We hold you close.
We will think of you ~ amidst our tears and our smiles and our laughter....so my dear brother See Ya....
Love,
Mary
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 10, 2009 - 11:10pm PT
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hey there dear family of pete... say, i remember how precious the rainbow came to mind one year, and how it was like a smile from above...
may the good keep watching over you all,and may his love comfort you, alwasy in new ways, as you enjoy many more memories that his friends continue to bring to mind...
god bless to all...
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Cornelia Brefka
climber
Greenwich, CT
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Aug 11, 2009 - 07:23pm PT
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There are so many days when I go outside and there's something about the sky- the clouds and the sun- and I think "Hey Pete, I miss you" and I feel like he's there and that feels so good, although writing this still makes me cry...
Hugs to you Molly and Avery, and also to Martha and Mary and the rest of Pete's family.
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Oct 27, 2009 - 08:34am PT
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Hi:
Just wanted to let you know that Pete's Dad, Karel Absolon, died Friday,
October 2, 2009.
Love, Mary
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Oct 27, 2009 - 09:10am PT
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My condolences to your families, Mary and Molly.
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nita
Social climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
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Oct 28, 2009 - 01:10am PT
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Sincere condolences to the Absolon family and friends..........
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Lynn Iler
climber
Providence, RI
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Dec 17, 2009 - 11:25pm PT
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I check in here every so often and a always at a loss for words. I am so happy that Molly and Avery continue to move forward and make wonderful new memories filled with love and joy. I still think often of the entire Absolon family and the losses they have suffered. My condolences again -- Karel is with his boys now. I bet they are having a great time. Pete is still with us. I think of him -- and your whole family -- whenever I see a rainbow and I smile.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 18, 2009 - 05:40am PT
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hey there say, mary and molly... very sad to hear of the dad dying, in oct... i had not seen this until now...
may the good lord help your through this hard holiday season and into the new year... may new things unfold that will help you over the rough-trail and bring you into some fruitful treasure of comforts...
god bless... may the youth carry on even more-so, in ways that the dad would be most pround of...
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Dec 21, 2009 - 11:33pm PT
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Karel Absolon
A bit about Pete's Dad.....that we put together for his memorial:
Dr. Karel B. Absolon, medical historian, surgeon, & collector aged 83, of Rockville, Maryland formerly of Brno, Czechoslovakia, died peacefully of respiratory failure on October 2, 2009 at his home surrounded by family.
Dr. Absolon graduated from Yale University Medical School and completed his surgical internship & residency earning a PhD in surgery at the University of Minnesota. At the U of MN, he was an early pioneer in the fields of liver transplantation and open heart surgery.
He practiced cardiac surgery in Amarillo, Texas. In 1972 he accepted a position as Chief of Surgery at the Washington Hospital Center. This was followed by 3 years working in the Heart, Lung and Blood Institute at NIH.
He wrote a three volume biography of Theodor Billroth considered to be the father of modern gastro-intestinal surgery entitled "The Surgeon's Surgeon Theodor Billroth 1829-1894".
Over his lifetime, he amassed an extensive medical history library. Dr. Absolon’s vision was that his library be in a place where it could be used by all those interested in the history of health care, and, in 2002, he chose the History Collections of East Carolina University’s William E. Laupus Health Sciences Library as the permanent home for this distinguished private library. The Karel B. Absolon History of Medicine Library includes over 2300 pieces and is on display in a state of the art reading room accessible to the public.
A “Karel B. Absolon History of Medicine Lecture” was established by the Department of Surgery at East Carolina University’s Brody School of Medicine and is held annually in honor of Dr. Absolon.
Karel Absolon was from a distinguished family of Czech archeologists, physicians & scientists. His father explored the Macocha Caves north of Brno, Czech Republic.
To pursue a lifetime of freedom, in 1948 he escaped from Czechoslovakia and came to the USA. He was reunited with his home Czech country after the fall of communism and in the last years of his life relished visiting & talking with others about the Czech Republic.
He taught his family to follow their passions and to seek the truth. He was an avid reader and his home was his library. After retirement from surgery, he wrote and published many books & amassed a collection of writings on Gregor Mendel, the geneticist from his home town of Brno and Tomas Masaryk, the first president of Czechoslovakia.
He was a Fellow of The American College of Surgeons, a member of the International College of Surgeons, active in the History of Medicine Society and in the Czechoslovakian Society of Arts and Sciences
He is survived by his wife Mary of 55 years, their children Mary (Bill Herber) of Edina, MN, John of Rockville, MD; daughter-in-law Molly of Lander, WY, and Martha (Kevin Delehanty) of Long Valley, NJ; and grandchildren Christopher, Molly, Lucas, Avery, Samantha, Alexandria, and Colin. He was preceded in death by two sons Fritz of Rockville, MD and Peter of Lander, WY; sister Ali Block of Greenwich, CT and parents Karel and Valerie Absolon of Brno, Czech.
And may rainbows touch you this holiday season in wonderful and new ways!
Love, Mary
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jan 20, 2010 - 10:50pm PT
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At the Nanda Devi Temple in India, there is a memorial bell with Pete's name engraved.
A friend wrote to us this Christmas that their niece was on a NOLs trip to India. Her NOLS leader was a friend of Pete's. She rang the bell.
:-)
So listen for a bell and if you are at Nanda Devi Temple, ring the Pete Absolon Memorial bell...alot and loud!
Love and with Fondness to our friends forever,
Mary
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Jan 21, 2010 - 02:20am PT
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Such a terrible and senseless accident - I pass along the deepest condolences . I never knew the man but clearly he was one who enriched all those around him so it is a loss shared by the entire climbing community wherever we are located. I am comforted though in knowing that he has not gone far and the best of him is respresented in his great kids who will carry all of that with them and continue sharing it with those they meet. Strength and peace to his loved ones.
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Molly Absolon
climber
Lander, Wyoming
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Jan 31, 2010 - 04:18pm PT
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I am not sure how many people visit this site anymore. I do when I need to feel Pete's presence. Somehow other people's memories validate mine.
But I'm writing more because it occurred to me that there may be people out there interested in helping us establish a scholarship in Pete's name at the National Outdoor Leadership School. Our goal with the scholarship is to provide funds to instructors seeking to further their training—something Pete worked hard to promote during his tenure at the school. For example, we hope an instructor could apply for a grant to get certified by the AMGA or to take an advanced level avalanche course or whitewater rescue training—something that will give him or her more skills and experience. We are close to our goal and hope that next year we'll be able to give out the first grants. I hope the scholarship will help keep Pete's legacy alive at NOLS.
In establishing this scholarship, we had two goals: one was $70,000 and the other was to have 100 donors. We are close on both of those objectives (needing about 20 more donors and $10,000) so are looking for donations of all sizes to reach our goal. Please consider helping out even if all you can afford is $10. Every gift means something.
Here are the technicalities of donating to the fund:
The easiest method is on-line contribution:
· Go to https://www.nols.edu/eDonate/
· In the comments box write “Restricted to Pete Absolon Memorial Endowment”
Thank you very much.
Peace
Molly Absolon
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jan 31, 2010 - 05:44pm PT
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Bump
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Mar 30, 2010 - 06:14am PT
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50 years ago today, Pete was born at the University of Minnesota Hospitals, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
It was a complicated birth, yet he survived and lived a wonderful life.
His greatest love was his wife Molly & daughter, Aves.
He loved his work at NOLS and passed his wisdom and wit to those around.
Pete, we remember you on the anniversary of your 50th birthday.
Our lives are good. We love and get love in return, just as you would like!
We love you.
Mary
:-)
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Mar 30, 2010 - 10:53am PT
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All the best to Pete's family and friends on his birthday.
Dave
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Dick Danger
Trad climber
Lakewood, Colorado
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Mar 30, 2010 - 12:06pm PT
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We miss you Pete. Happy birthday.
TW
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 11, 2010 - 06:56am PT
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Our Pete is in our hearts. We remember this day ~ August 11, 2007 as it is branded into our hearts forever.
We are well.
On July 4, 2010, we celebrated the wonderful wedding of Molly Absolon and Allen O'Bannon. Our families~The Armbrechts, O'Bannons and Absolons came
together as our intertwined lives melded together as none of us could have
ever imagined several years ago. We are so blessed that our Molly and Avery have Allen in their lives as are we. Two wonderful marriages!!! :-)
And the beat goes on....our Molly Herber through a NOLS alumni course
successfully summited Mt. Rainier this summer. Need I say more...
My Mom turns 80 this year and we have relished in the legacy of my Dad
at East Carolina School of Medicine's Historical Medical Library Karel Absolon collection-it is quite a wonderful contribution to our society.
I have read that unless we have pain in our lives we have not lived. We have all lived a ton and through those we love and care about, we are able to move on. We thank you for everything and for all days ahead.
Stay in touch as it warms our hearts!
Love and Friendship Always,
Mary Absolon
Pete's sister
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Jan
Mountain climber
Okinawa, Japan
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Aug 11, 2010 - 07:27am PT
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All my best to you all. I'm glad to see you were all able to heal and move on.I know from personal experience that is not easy to do.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Aug 11, 2010 - 02:03pm PT
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Again, my condolences to Mary, Molly, and the rest of
Pete's family and friends. A sad day to remember.
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david.k.dixon
Boulder climber
Greenville, SC
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Dear Molly,
This forum post about Pete showed up in a search engine results when I was doing a Google search for my sister, Christine Dixon Vallevona, so I just learned about Pete's tragic accident three years ago.
Please know that you and your daughter are in my prayers. I am also happy for you that you are married again.
Christine had fond wonderful memories of the expedition you all took back in 1995 to Canada. I remember meeting you on at least two occasions, one in your rock climbing gym when Christine and I came by to visit in the summer of 1996. It seems that I met Pete as well on one of my visits to Lander, WY.
Bless you and your family and may you find comfort from all the outpouring of support from friends and family here.
All the best to you!
David Dixon
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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Abby= Pathetic as#@&%e Spammer^^^
Disregard.
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daendil
Sport climber
Indianapolis, IN
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Saw this bump, and though it's disppointing that a spammer hit the thread, I'm thankful to be reminded of Pete.
RIP, and all the best to Molly, Avery, and Pete's family.
Billy D
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Molly A
Social climber
Lander
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Nov 10, 2010 - 04:03pm PT
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The weather is changing, winter is finally coming, and Avery is so tall and grown up. Life continues to move forward and away from the past. We are happy but miss Pete every day. Thanks for those who continue to hold a little bit of him in your hearts.
Molly Absolon
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dirt claud
Sport climber
san diego,ca
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Nov 10, 2010 - 05:23pm PT
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Didn't know Pete, but he sounds like he was a great person. So sorry for your loss and glad to know that you are moving on in life and are happy. I'm sure if there is anything he would have wanted, it would be for you guys to continue living a happy life. God Bless.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Nov 10, 2010 - 07:28pm PT
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hey there say, molly.... me(after hearing of such family-losses)and just being a mom, i always pray for pete's daughter, though i never knew any of you... thank you for posting an update...
youth, is the seed that carrries on...
god bless to her future...
and your job of being her mentor, mom, and friend...
god bless...
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Nate Furman
climber
Salt Lake City, UT
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Nov 10, 2010 - 07:44pm PT
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Hi all,
I think about Pete often, and about Molly and Avery and all the community who misses him greatly. A year or so ago I journaled a bit about a climbing trip that Josh Beckner and I did in the Winds a year after his death. This seems like a good place to post it. Here it goes:
Josh Beckner and I cruised into the Winds on Saturday evening for 3 days of climbing. It was one of the best little climbing missions I've done. So damn hot! We climbed the NE Buttress of Pingora (IV, 5.9) on Sunday, Black Elk on Warbonnet (IV, 5.11a) on Monday, and the North Face, Left of Mt. Mitchell (III, 5.8) on Tuesday. Then we hiked out. Mucho tired.
The climb of Black Elk was especially significant. It was Pete Absolon's favorite climb in the Wind Rivers, one that he had done dozens of times. For Pete it was a walk in the park. He was a master of gettin' vertical, and although the Elk was a testpiece for many he could run laps on it. His death was one of the saddest moments I can remember. I found out after working a NOLS course in Idaho, and the moment is crystallized in my memory. Pete gone? That's all I could think about...Pete gone? No...
Pete's passing at NOLS left many with a hole in their life. For Josh and I, Pete filled the mentor role; not just a friend or someone to climb with up in Sinks, but an inspiration and role model. Josh and I were both climbing and mountaineering instructors at NOLS, and Pete represented the archetype that we wished we could be. In my eyes, he was one of the few that made the transition from "hard man" to "family man" without a problem. He incorporated the two different lifestyles into one seamless, beautiful poem.
The day we climbed Black Elk was the one-year anniversary of his death. We awoke to threatening weather; the clouds raced over our camp with great haste, and the previous night's storm was fresh on our mind. Getting out of the tent at 4:45 a.m., Josh and I stewed about in silence, going through the motions of getting ready for a climb, but only halfheartedly, as it seemed like an exercise in futility. We ate a little breakfast and had rounds of coffee. Our intended alpine start was clearly not going to happen, and put us at risk of climbing in the late afternoon, when the possibility of getting throttled by p.m. thunderstorms, high on the face of Warbonnet, seemed likely and incredibly not fun. In addition, we only had one rope, so rapping the face would be spendy and slow.
Prior to our trip into the Winds, Gary Cukjati, one of Pete's good friends and the Director of NOLS Rocky Mountain, asked if we could retrieve the gear cache that Pete had stashed under a large boulder near the base of Black Elk. We had vague directions, but when we saw the tremendous talus field that guards the approach to Warbonnet, it seemed like there were a million boulders where the cache could be located.
After stewing about until 7:30 in the morning, Beckner and I asked "What would Pete do?". The answer was simple. There wouldn't be a question in his mind. He would flash a mischievous grin and say "Get after it, buddy!".
We decided that we would search for the cache and hope that there was a rope in it. We racked, hiked up the talus and started the unlikely search for the needle in the haystack. It only took 5 minutes. Amazingly, the needle was deep under the second boulder we looked under.
There indeed was a rope. And some personal items; a jacket, climbing gear, a balaclava, some gloves, and well-worn climbing gear. We rummaged through it, savoring the sensation that we had found a bit of quicksilver, and imagined that this was part of the essence of Pete. This was Pete's stuff; looking though it felt like touching some part of him. It was melancholy; it was sad and inspiring; it left us speechless and wistful. We made eye contact and stared at each other in silence, each processing the mixture of emotions pouring into us.
We took the rope and finished the approach to the base. It was the only thing left to do, and Pete's spirit was clearly with us. As we tied in at the first belay, the sky conceded to high pressure and the clouds vanished. The climb went the same way that all great climbs do; it was challenging and spectacular. Cracks came and went, transitioning from size to size and from move to move. We thrutched and screamed up the off-width, Elvis-ed up the slabby sections with machine-gun leg, and flowed through the hands and fingers. The whole time, Josh and I relished the sensation of climbing as a threesome, Pete was with us the whole time.
May Pete live on in the memory of his loved ones.
Nate
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Nov 10, 2010 - 07:50pm PT
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hey there say, nate.... oh my... as i said, i never knew pete, and this happened near about the time i first joined up here...
but--i have many dear buddies that i love... seeing you post this, broke my heart again, for you-all... and touched my heart, as to the few buddies that i have lost:
This was Pete's stuff; looking though it felt like touching some part of him. It was melancholy; it was sad and inspiring; it left us speechless and wistful. We made eye contact and stared at each other in silence, each processing the mixture of emotions pouring into us.
thanks for sharing this...
here's a salute to those that are gone from us, but never forgotten...
and here's to the surprise "traces" of them, that surface later, to
heal bathe the wounds...
god bless...
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daendil
Sport climber
Indianapolis, IN
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Nov 11, 2010 - 10:27am PT
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Damn Nate...now I have tears in my eyes at my desk at work! Thanks so much for sharing that story. Simply beautiful.
~Billy D
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Hi Everyone~
Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience of my brother.
I miss him so much I could scream and laugh and just live my life to the fullest.
He lived life so wonderfully. It is his continued presence
with me and all of us that have made this possible.
Love always to my dear brother Pete,
Mary
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Mary Absolon
climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Mar 30, 2011 - 08:28am PT
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Today would have been Pete's 51st birthday.
I am thinking of Pete....
I am glad Molly set up the NOLS Fund in Pete's honor.
I give to this fund today as so many others have knowing that
the NOLS instructors this fund supports will give to NOLS students
what my dear brother also gave to NOLS students.
With Love,
Mary
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 10, 2011 - 08:34pm PT
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Hi Climbers~
What would Pete do or say if he was saddled with living the loss of such
a dear brother, friend, Dad and husband....
Get on with it...live your life....and so we do...with gusto!
Avery turns 11 in September.
Molly and Allen just celebrated their first wedding anniversary.
Pete has been our angel for 4 years...
And for this sister....well..."See ya later"...
In Peace and Love,
Mary
August 11, 2011
Thinking of Pete on this 4th anniversary...
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daendil
Sport climber
Indianapolis, IN
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Aug 11, 2011 - 01:11pm PT
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Thank you for the reminder - I think of Pete often and I always say a prayer for the family whenever I visit Sinks Canyon. It's good to hear that you all continue to live life with passion while preserving Pete's memory!
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Liz Tuohy
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Aug 31, 2011 - 01:34am PT
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I haven't read this in years. Pete, I love you buddy. You still are part of us. So grateful.
Crap.
And a smile.
Liz
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Nov 25, 2011 - 11:09pm PT
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Hi Everyone~
It is Thanksgiving season...the holidays remind me of family and friends so naturally I think of my brother Pete.
I thought of his smile and the twinkle in his eye.
I thought of his funny grin...
I thought of him doing pull ups at home as a high schooler in the garage on a swing he made up-one his nephew Lucas is now using to develop his 15 year old muscles.
I thought of the deep sadness I feel with his loss...I don't like being that sad..I know you all know what I'm talking about.
I thought of the deep joy when Avery said to me this past summer,
"Pete is my Dad, Allen is MY Allen, he is my Allen." How lucky can a daughter be to have both a "Pete and an Allen" in their lives!
I thought of the adventures that lay ahead and our lives and how we live each day and how I hear clearer the hearts of those around me because of the ache my heart experiences with such a loss.
I thought how satisfied I am with just where things are at and how thankful
we have such love, laughter and caring in our world.
And we are thankful that our Mom will be 81 this November ...she is a rock....she is a Mom...she loved our Pete so much....
So with this message in Thanksgiving to those who should read this blog....
Much Love,
Mary
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grimbo
Trad climber
Boone, NC
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I remember Pete from my early days of climbing at Seneca Rocks when he was a guide there along with a guy named Topper. They were always good to us and invited us to their house for a shower. One of Pete's clients had accidentally left his climbing pack in our campsite, and when we turned it in to the Gendarme climbing shop, Pete arranged for us to get a small reward. I bought my first chalk bag with the money. We cooked a pineapple upside down cake on our camp stove, burned the crap out of it and shared it with Pete and Topper. The burned part didn't bother them a bit. I didn't know Pete well, but I always considered him a friend.
Mike Grimm
Boone, NC
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Molly A
Social climber
Lander
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Jul 30, 2012 - 09:23pm PT
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I don't know that many people come here anymore. I've been writing about Pete lately and so was pulled back to this forum, which was my lifeblood for months after his death. I thank everyone who has ever written here. I treasure every story, every memory you've shared about Pete. We miss him and Avery is growing up into a beautiful young woman, but her memories are fading and so these stories help keep her father's memory alive.
I finally commissioned a wonderful artist — Julie Burr — to create an urn for Pete's ashes and this summer we dedicated it at a small gathering of friends and family. It was a beautiful, sad, happy evening. Again, Pete touched us and reminded us to live life to its fullest. Thank you my sweet man. I hope your spirit is happy and free.
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Mallamo
climber
Cody, WY
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Molly,
What a beautiful way to honor Pete's memory. I didn't know him all that well and only met the three of you a few times on my many visits to Lander, but my great friends there have always had wonderful things to say about him.
I had the true honor of carrying my friend Todd Skinner's ashes back from Wyoming a couple years ago and delivering them to Julie in NC (where I used to live). She is such an amazing artist and has done these two men proud by the memorials she has created.
I hope someday I can visit Pete's and I also hope you and Avery are well and happy.
Take care and be good to yourself.
Peter Mallamo
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Topper Wilson
Trad climber
Pueblo, CO
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Molly,
I love it, spot on!
all the best,
Topper
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Hampton
Social climber
Tucson, AZ
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Thinking of you today Pete. Gone but not forgotten.
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Evel
Trad climber
Nedsterdam CO
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Pete was like a big brother to me. I miss him.
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 12, 2013 - 08:25am PT
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Hi
The Absolons are together in Florida at Martha's.
We remembered Pete yesterday.
We told stories and Aves through
beautiful dark red rose into the bay.
Present:
Grandma Mary Mom
Martha, Kevin, Samantha, Alexandria,
Duke.
Molly and Avery
Mary and Molly.
Lucas.
Our lives and hearts are patched together
by the community our family forever.
Mary
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jul 16, 2014 - 12:22am PT
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Hi Everyone:
It has been about two years since I entered a comment here.
Sometimes 2007 seems so close, other times not so.
The intertwining of the paths in our lives meanders on.
This year it will return us to Lander, Wyoming.
Our daughter, Pete's niece, is excited about a NOLS internship in Lander.
Molly has completed several NOLS courses.
It is sad that Pete is not around to enjoy and relish in this wonderful "family affair".
I know his spirit and personality will embrace our daughter is many wonderful ways as she walks and lives and touches the same places that have Pete's fingerprints on.
See Ya later....
Love Always,
Mary
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 10, 2014 - 11:18pm PT
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Thinking of you my dear brother on this fateful day in 2007....
May you rest in peace always.
Climb on....
Love,
Mary
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overwatch
climber
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Aug 11, 2014 - 12:01am PT
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I know from personal experience how it feels...I hope the pain has eased somewhat for you although it will never go away. Best wishes to you and yours
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Aug 11, 2014 - 02:18am PT
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hey there say, to mary...
thank you for stopping by and sharing your love, and heart felt share, about your dear brother...
thank you for updates, as to the family...
may grace and strength, continually be yours, in so many ways...
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COT
climber
Door Number 3
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Aug 11, 2014 - 04:59am PT
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Pete during our one day ascent of The Jaded Lady (VI 5.12a) on Mt Hooker. The hail and rain storm ended our free attempt, but a good outing none the less. Miss you buddy!
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Neil
Gym climber
Here and there
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Nov 11, 2014 - 05:41pm PT
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Missing you, Pete. I've been thinking about you a bunch recently. You're so awesome.
--Nate Furman
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Molly A
Social climber
Lander
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I am so moved to come back here and see posts from friends and family. It's crazy how much time has passed and yet how strong my love for Pete remains. He brought light into many of our lives. He'd be so proud of his beautiful daughter who has grown into a lovely, talented and kind young woman. He'd love to see the snow falling outside my window and know the freezer is full of moose meat from this year's hunt (not mine, but my husband Allen's).
Thanks dear friends for helping me hold Pete's memory in your hearts. I have come to realize that, not my anger, is the best way to honor him.
Much love,
Molly
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Not that I know (or knew) any of you, but this event posted up here has always struck a strong cord with me. Unless there is a real reason to it, I get on peoples case's for trundling of any kind. RIP Pete Absolon. His memorial is still there I take it. One of these days I will make a point of visiting it.
Chris
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couchmaster
climber
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Molly, I never knew Pete, but he's clearly the kind of person that any of us would joyfully tie in with anytime. I remember the first post back in 2007, but didn't know what to say to you then: maybe I still don't. I just want you to know that a stranger out here who never knew Pete, but wishes that he had, sends you and yours good feelings for the holidays. None of us forgot, nor will we.
Warm regards
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jan 14, 2015 - 10:41pm PT
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Hi
My dear brother Pete's Mom passed away December 21, 2014....
Mary Bendix Absolon, age 84 of Rockville, Maryland, formerly of Annandale, Minnesota passed away peacefully on Sunday December 21, 2014 at home with son and grandson. Born 11/30/1930. Preceded in death by parents Lester & Molly Bendix; husband Karel; children Fritz & Peter; & daughter-in-law Sue. Survived by her children Mary (Bill Herber), John & Martha Delehanty (Kevin); daughter-in-law Molly Absolon (Allen O’Bannon); grandchildren Chris & Molly Herber, Lucas Absolon, Samantha, Alexandria & Duke Delehanty, and Avery Absolon; brother John Bendix (Deanna); cousin Barb Boughton (Barry); cousin Richard Peterson; and nephew Henry Ziegler (Zhi). Mary was a University of Minnesota School of Nursing graduate, registered nurse, attended St. Catherine’s, St. Paul, MN & volunteered at the National Library of Congress. For over 31 years & to her death, she was a proud friend of Bill W’s. Her living legacy are her children, grandchildren, and medical library collection she & her husband donated to Absolon Collection at Laupus Library East Carolina University. She died with great serenity & was passionate about Minnesota sports teams, Jane Austen and Downton Abbey. She was loved by those who came in contact with her. A Mass of Christian Burial & Celebration of Life will be held at Holy Cross Catholic Church, 4900 Strathmore Ave., Garrett Park, MD on Saturday, February 7, 2015 at 11 am with family receiving friends 1 hour prior. Interment will be held at Gate of Heaven Cemetery Silver Spring, Maryland. Donations can be made in Mary’s name to Absolon Collection Laupus Library, East Carolina University 600 Moye Blvd Greenville, NC 27834 or Rockville Meals on Wheels P.O. Box 465 Rockville, MD 20848.
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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I hear there is an Absolon relative living in Lander??? Who would have thought...
Thanks Bro for bringing your niece to Lander and NOLs....
Know your spirit roams with her on your rocks...
Love and Remembrance from my Heart
Mary....
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Aug 11, 2015 - 04:27am PT
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Thinking about my brother today -...missing you always...living life to the fullest with the wonders that it brings.
We will be in Lander in few weeks and plan to hike to Legg Lake.
I know your spirit will help my heavy legs as I hike the steps you did on this fateful day 8 years ago.
Know we honor your life and that your daughter Aves is growing to an awesome young lady!
Mary
Pete's sister
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Mallamo
climber
Cody, WY
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I have no idea why, but Pete popped into my head today.I was remembering a conversation we once had at Steve Bechtel's house, during one of the many times I bivied on his office floor for the summer. I then started thinking of the many friends that have passed, and how our one link was climbing. Whether we knew one another well or not, or even at all, we had that bond.
I hope you and Avery are well and happy Molly.
Cheers,
Peter Mallamo
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Molly A
Social climber
Lander
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Apr 28, 2016 - 09:11am PT
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On a whim I came to supertopo today and was so touched to see Peter Mallamo's note. I don't seem to get used to the fact that the mountains and cliffs we love kills so many of us. It's strange.. I suppose the power of those places and the friendship forged there — or through the lweb of friends indirectly linked by our passion for those wild places like my link to you Peter — is worth the risk, but it is very hard and sad when we lose the gamble and someone is gone from our lives forever.
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overwatch
climber
Arizona
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Apr 28, 2016 - 12:04pm PT
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especially something so senseless and avoidable. Condolences to you and yours
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Sister of Pete Absolon
Social climber
Edina, Minnesota
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Jun 23, 2016 - 07:20pm PT
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So good to hear from some friends of my dear brother Pete in 2016.
Our daughter Molly (Pete's niece) continues to work for NOLs
and loves her writing position and life in Lander, Wyoming.
To top off rock climbing passion, she successfully completed
the NOLs instructor course this Spring....
💖👍😘 to all
Mary
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Pete made me laugh when he....
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