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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 13, 2007 - 07:13pm PT
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This is not a troll, totally serious.
I just got off the phone with YNP, an anonymous source told me that Half Dome's contract IS NOT BEING RENEWED and he is being asked to leave the park.
Too many non-climber fatalities on the cables. Too much rockfall, too much climbers' garbage. All this adds up to way too much liability for the park. They thought Half Dome would be happier somewhere else. Also, the park believes it will be able to get an entire intact dome to step in before this coming tourist season - hahahah fools, good luck with that. Most domes are already booked into 2008.
I tried to contact HD, but haven't gotten a call back. This really sucks, I think HD is getting the short end of the stick. It's not his fault he's only half the man he used to be.
Anyway, you should all write to YNP and express your OUTRAGE over this OUTRAGE, what with them doing this OUTRAGEOUS thing! Then let's post about it here, see if we can't get over 100 posts.
Carry on.
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G_Gnome
Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
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Mar 13, 2007 - 07:34pm PT
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I heard that Lembert was dieing to step up and take HD's place!
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Festus
Mountain climber
San Diego
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Mar 13, 2007 - 07:34pm PT
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I believe this action is the result of either Half Dome's stint as a Catholic priest in the 70s or middle school geology teacher in the 80s. The chronic alcoholism, and the year spent working as a page at Interior, doubtless laid the groundwork.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Mar 13, 2007 - 07:35pm PT
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HD brought it on himself by inviting the media to watch.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 13, 2007 - 07:42pm PT
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You all are probably right.
I just spoke to my cousin, and he heard from his sister (who is NOT my cousin - long story for another thread) that HD left a message for her. He is despondent and drunk. Said something about having to be carried out of the Valley, and that he's going to JUMP OFF EL CAP!!!!
We have to do something!
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the Fet
Knackered climber
A bivy sack in the secret campground
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Mar 13, 2007 - 07:48pm PT
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That frickin bullshitt.
Half Dome was there way before the park service. I bet Karl Rove is behind it.
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G_Gnome
Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
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Mar 13, 2007 - 07:50pm PT
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I heard Haliburton won a no bid contract to remove HD forcibly if he won't leave on his own!
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 13, 2007 - 07:52pm PT
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DMT, that is for REAL.
I heard that D*leware North is really controlled by the Chin*se - wait, maybe it was Al Qu*da, I forget - and they are the ones who wanted Half Dome out.
I wonder if the rest of the gang is going to stay, or maybe follow HD?
This really sucks, I always liked HD and thought he was just a great addition to the park.
Now they're saying HD will be on the county fair circuit, at least for the 2007 season.
I guess when you're that big, you fall far fast.
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paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
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Mar 13, 2007 - 07:56pm PT
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my sister's friend saw HD applying at REI in sandy an hour ago she said...
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lucho
Gym climber
San Franpsycho
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Mar 13, 2007 - 08:02pm PT
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C'mon everybody knows Half Dome is a SHE, a little respect here. I hear she's pretty broken up over the whole thing. Look at the upside though maybe now they'll finally pave a road from the Ahwahnee to the Meadows.
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Mar 13, 2007 - 08:11pm PT
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My buddy, who I havent seen in several years, lives in the park. He goes by Bear 46 and he said that Half Dome was indeed female. She was getting pissed that El Cap was getting the Top position all the time. Womens like top too you know. Scandalous...
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 13, 2007 - 08:30pm PT
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"my sister's friend saw HD applying at REI in sandy an hour ago she said... "
Yeah, I read the same thing . . . I think it was on SuperTopo.
At least she's not applying at Patagonia - I heard they fired their Ambassadors!
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Darnell
Big Wall climber
Chicago
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Mar 13, 2007 - 09:00pm PT
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Yeah HD don't need Pataguchi to sponser her, what with all the royalties she gets from the "I MADE IT TO THE TOP" T-shirts.
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Jay Wood
Trad climber
Fairfax, CA
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Mar 15, 2007 - 02:08am PT
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Wait... I thought they fired Glacier Point
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Mar 15, 2007 - 02:29am PT
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I heard it was because HD kept evolving, and there were worries it would become a secular humanist. That would be un-American, or at least un-Republican, and they're pretty much the same thing, eh?
The powers that be prefer that their faux Potemkin villages, like Yosemite Valley, always look the same. Even if an airbrush has to be used, just like Soviet pictures from the 1930s.
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randomtask
climber
North fork, CA
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Mar 15, 2007 - 07:29am PT
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I've heard for some time that YNP was upset with Half Dome after her drunken insults to quarter dome and el cap, but now they actually have the authority to get rid of her. It may just be a rumor but I've heard they found Granite Growth Hormone (Chemically the same as Human Growth Hormone) in her urine sample-something YNP will not tolerate one bit. Apparently, Most of the other walls are looking forward to "the Jan Brady of walls" (hey, Sentinal said it not me) being dismissed.
-JR
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Mar 15, 2007 - 07:58am PT
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No, I heard it was all about the snakes, dikes, and the bondage fetish with those cables. Someone in the administration had been complaining she was giving a toss to any Tom, Dick, or Betty who tramped by. They were pretty vehement about her morality just not being in-line with the family values expected in the premiere venue of the national park system...
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GASandstone
Trad climber
Cumming, ga
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Mar 15, 2007 - 12:02pm PT
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I am confused. I just spoke with a range in the park and she said that all is with half dome. If I am way of base or not clear please let me know.
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Roman
Trad climber
3 hrs. from Seneca
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Mar 15, 2007 - 08:58pm PT
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paganmonkeyboy: " my sister's friend saw HD applying at REI in sandy an hour ago she said..."
Sadly, HD was refused employment for being far overqualified for REI but word in Georgetown is that HD will be the next big Patagonia Ambassador.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 15, 2007 - 10:01pm PT
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Good to see she's landing on her, er, feet!
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Gene
climber
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Mar 15, 2007 - 10:25pm PT
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It's all about Carl Rove and freakin' GOP family values. Ever since HD split from Whole Dome, she's had a bullseye on her beautiful face.
And they thought the cables would tie her down. Loosers!
No surprise HD is gone. The only wonder is why it took then so long.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Mar 15, 2007 - 10:46pm PT
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You're ALL wrong.
It was hushed up but HD is outta here for using an ethnic slur calling Quarter Dome "sedementary"!
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Mar 15, 2007 - 10:50pm PT
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Half Dome on the rocks. I never thought I'd see the day. All those years rocking and rolling, and it's come to this. Ground by glaciers. Missing her better half. Pinpricked by people. She endured it all, standing with her head proud above her valley. But, buffetted by bureaucracy, what can she do?
I'm guessing that one of those other, lesser rocks, is behind it all. Oh sure, they all say "Half Dome's great. We love her. She's what means the Valley, to the world." But really they all have igneous envy. Maybe El Cap had something to do with it - he's been going around muttering "My face is higher than hers, that b. So what if she's higher?" Soon he'll find out what a fair weather friend his co-conspirator the Sentinel really is. Thick as thieves, those two.
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randomtask
climber
North fork, CA
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Mar 16, 2007 - 01:01am PT
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Piton Ron:
Are you serious? Did she really say the "S" word? I have always thought HD was an ok gal even despite her personality...but this? The ACLU will be all over her if this gets out. Last time I heard anyone cal someone else "sedimentary" was on a Discovery Channel program about the KKK. Come to think about it, I have seen the mags with pictures of HD and Mel Gibson together drinking. What's she so stuck up about anyways? Everyone knows she's so easy she's got a "regular route".
-JR
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Festus
Mountain climber
San Diego
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:43pm PT
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NPR is reporting that HD was attempting to slackline the Grand Canyon when the cable snapped. Lees Ferry to Phantom Ranch is now a slowly rising lake and the National Park Service is accepting bids from boat dock and marina operators, fast food chains, and Haliburton. Non-motorized canyon float trips are now taking six to eight weeks, and consist of galley slave rowing, a harrowing mid-trip rappel, and a longass burro ride to Lake Mead. However, the scenery remains impressive and there will be no reduction in user fees. HD is currently in contract negotiations to make this arrangement permanent.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:47pm PT
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"Non-motorized canyon float trips are now taking six to eight weeks, and consist of galley slave rowing, a harrowing mid-trip rappel, and a longass burro ride to Lake Mead. "
First the good news. Extra rations for all the rowers, for lunch.
Now the bad news. The captain wants to go water-skiing after lunch.
Edit: Looks to me like the exclamation marks are standing up for themselves, just fine.
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JuanDeFuca
Big Wall climber
Stoney Point
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:51pm PT
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The real story is Half Dome found out that El Cap is making twice as much money. How did she find this out? You will need to talk to Washington Column. What an Asshole.
Well when 1/2 Dome found out about the pay difference she threatened to Exfoliate a huge slab down onto Mirror lake.
The park service well aware of the last disgruntled rock formation took the threat very seriously. True Glacier point had a drinking problem, and was tired of having sh#t drain down inside of him. But that was no excuse.
JDF
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L
climber
Sesame Street
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Mar 16, 2007 - 02:51pm PT
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Someone needs to warn eKat to plan for a much longer trip.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 16, 2007 - 02:51pm PT
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Donny you little scamp. Stop tryin' to make trouble.
You do enough of that when posting as Crowley.
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A(ndanother) Crowley
Gym climber
YourNightmares
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Mar 16, 2007 - 03:02pm PT
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HAHA, Billy's an idiot. Don't insult me with this Donny talk.
He's an idiot too!
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Bear 46
Social climber
Yosemite
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Mar 16, 2007 - 04:16pm PT
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Awww shiiiet. I didn't want to comment on this, since it would blow my source and all.... BUT the truth is HD and the Park Service have been on the outs since the PS let tourons burn all the trees on it's summit.
HD... great place to ambush snack toten' tourons... I'll miss you buddy.
Bear 46
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L
climber
Sesame Street
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Mar 16, 2007 - 04:30pm PT
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eKat--To think you get to raft the CO river and climb Half Dome, all on the same trip!!!! It just don't get no better than that!
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mooch
Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
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Mar 16, 2007 - 06:26pm PT
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"C'mon everybody knows Half Dome is a SHE, a little respect here. I hear she's pretty broken up over the whole thing. Look at the upside though maybe now they'll finally pave a road from the Ahwahnee to the Meadows."
So the Diving Board was just for looks? Naughty! Absolutely naughty!
Dingus, didn't Brutus have some kind of fling with HD? Word? Ouch!....help a brutha out!!
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Mar 16, 2007 - 10:38pm PT
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Jerry Fallwell comments and I quote
"It's about time they remove Half Dome from Yosemite. A national park that attracts families is no place for half a butt to be on display or climbed"
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn
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Mar 17, 2007 - 04:52pm PT
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poor half dome. perhaps she isn't stuck up. perhaps she's just protecting herself.
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Mar 18, 2007 - 05:30pm PT
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I can't believe it, a lot of Supertaco posters have been on top of this woman, and are bemoaning the fact that she is worried about this development.
Here are the hard facts.
This woman is hard, those who have ridden her many features should know that. She has weathered many a storm and break ups, and she also knows when she has choss to sluff off. She ain't no soft desert sandstone maiden that falls apart after a spell of tears from heaven, she is granite for gawd's sake. She will move on as surely as the glaciers that helped to carve her beautiful shape.
Half Dome will weather this situation better than the bureaucrats who decided to ditch her. They will be the ones who fall by the wayside. She will be there longer any of those NP jerks in the Ditch will be.
Let's all raise a glass to the grand old lady's resilence, she sure commands the valley better than any other feature, save the Captain, and even then she rises higher. She is the queen on the throne.
Perhaps an analogy may be that she is the Elizabeth to the Captain's Raleigh - or perhaps Lord Essex.
And she does aim to please. There aren't many nicer and enjoyable climbs around than Snake Dike. That lady has it. She rocks.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 27, 2007 - 01:56pm PT
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anonymous p*ssy bump'n'delete of my own thread . . . hahahahahahahahahahaha
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Chico
Trad climber
Mt. Shasta, CA
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Mar 27, 2007 - 02:36pm PT
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I call BS for a few reasons:
1)Yosemite still needs Half Dome so they can still sell refrigerator magnets and postcards, why would they fire it?
2)Ask any of the other formations what they know about it...(sound of crickets)... nothing, because it didn't happen. Someone would at least told El Cap.
3)Could the NPS really fire Half Dome? I mean c'mon, it's been around for so long, attended all the christmas parties, and has just been an all around ambassador for the park. I suppose the NPS can do whatever it wants, I mean, It's a Federal agency and all. They could get rid of bear boxes if they want, I just think it would be an exceedingly bad move.
Pfft. I'll believe it when I see it.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 27, 2007 - 02:52pm PT
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Hi all - here's an update on Half Dome's situation.
She has refused to leave the Valley. NPS has started eviction proceedings. This is too sick for words.
But it gets worse. NPS has cut off HD's monthly stipend, so she's hard up. Word is she's been subsisting on all the cans of Spahgetti-O's and blueberry pie filling left by climbers in all her nooks and crannies. Once that ran out, she sold her 'naming rights' to some dot-com wankers.
So as of yesterday, HD's beauty has been besmirched:
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Mar 27, 2007 - 03:41pm PT
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EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION
TO: YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK
RE: HALF DOME JOB
To whom it may concern:
I am applying for the position of Half Dome in Yosemite National Park.
Currently I employed by the city of Cincinnati. You will notice that in spite of me being made of limestone and not granite, my resemblance to your famous landmark is extraordinary.
While I am somewhat smaller than your previous employee, you will notice that I have some fine offwidth cracks up my front, not to mention a really bitchin' clock that lots of people will check out regularly.
I have no objection to the installation of a seasonal cable ladder up my backside, and a bit of cement and craftsmanship could could create a Snake Dike on my facing side.
I look forward to your consideration.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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{nothin' but crickets}
Gosh, I was hopin' to get at least one laugh....
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
Hell on earth wondering what I did to deserve it
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Hey guys - a little sensitivity will ya? Half Dome is a regular lurker here and can see *everything* you've been saying about her. Sheesh.
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 19, 2007 - 06:59pm PT
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Bump, because the old girl's image has taken a beating lately over the cable route.
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TimM
Trad climber
near Joshua Tree
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Jun 19, 2007 - 07:03pm PT
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Rumor has it that the Quarter Domes are going to be joining forces to replace Half Dome.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 19, 2007 - 07:05pm PT
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Well, it'd be a real pity if HD got fired over a piffling fuss to do with cables and clumsy hikers. I mean really, blame her for people who aren't responsible for themselves? Sure, she's alluring, but people can't always blame others. I suppose next someone will go on one of those moronic television shows and complain about how they were victimized, that HD is a temptress they couldn't resist.
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up2top
Big Wall climber
Phoenix, AZ
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Jun 19, 2007 - 07:12pm PT
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I heard HD got caught packing a Glock. Kicked him out right away and the Ranger's are pressing charges, too.
Ed
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Wild Bill
climber
Ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 17, 2007 - 11:13pm PT
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Anyone seen the old girl lately? I was in the Valley last weekend, and she is still there.
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Lost Arrow
Trad climber
The North Ridge of the San Fernando
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Dec 17, 2007 - 11:45pm PT
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Last time I did the cable route I had a nice conversation with 1/2 Dome and she told me she supports the War in Iraq and thinks Global Warming is a big myth. Who would have thought.
Lost
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Dec 18, 2007 - 01:34am PT
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I think Chico has the right approach here.
This is all hearsay and media hype.
Next thing you'll be saying she's joined Synnot, Thaw and folks on Team North Face.
On second thought, they did model that TNF logo on her...
note the similarities. something deeper is going on here.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 19, 2007 - 12:08am PT
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hey there...
hmmmmm.... this wild, bill.... i must say...
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martygarrison
Trad climber
Modesto
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Mar 31, 2008 - 01:56pm PT
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this thread is hilarious. sure beats the debate over rap bolting! wild bill nice one!
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Raydog
Trad climber
Boulder Colorado
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Mar 31, 2008 - 02:41pm PT
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LOL!
good stuff!
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Tez
Mountain climber
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Mar 31, 2008 - 02:58pm PT
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A Yosemite ranger told me this is the result of an investigation as to who really left the Manure Pile Buttress...
I hear the next on the investigation list is Leaning Tower. Turns out that the reason for the leaning may be too much alcohol.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Feb 25, 2009 - 03:51pm PT
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Wow - found another one. Very topical, with the rescue on HD a few days ago.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Feb 25, 2009 - 03:57pm PT
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Look all this hearsay about Half Dome and cable bondage and behind the scene contracts with North Face is just speculation and really is nothing but reliving the past administration.
We need to move on...
Now what's this about LT? Drunk? No way!!!
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Elcap76
Trad climber
Long Beach, CA
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Feb 25, 2009 - 04:54pm PT
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Half dome supported the global warming theory even during the last ice age, mainly because she was not personally glaciated.
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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I'm-so-hot-for-her-&-she's-so-cold bump
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Whatever happened to Wild Bill? I have his e-mail address, if it is still valid, but haven't gotten around to mailing him. I met him (on the forum initially) in January 2007 when I went home for my mom's funeral. My brother showed Bill and I around his winery in Napa.
Bill, are you out there lurking?
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Was this situation ever resolved? With all the snow this year, almost completely covering Half Dome, I was worried that the Park Circus, prompted by the DNC, might be trying to pull a slow one. Some sort of cover-up, maybe.
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Tung Gwok
Mountain climber
South Bend, Indiana
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Half Dome, you can have asylum in Indiana. We need you here. We will appreciate you here. And you can take every other Saturday off.
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cleo
Social climber
Berkeley, CA
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^ SNORT!
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Branscomb
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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I heard they're going to cut her up into granite table tops.
I have some pasture out back of our house here. You can come out here, baby, and hide in the pasture.
I just can't see you as a pile of table tops, baby!
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MisterE
Gym climber
Bishop, CA
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I saw that bastard Half Dome in the unemployment line in El Portal.
What a deadbeat!
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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I love how these rediculous trolls always get bumped today... Lol
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little Z
Trad climber
un cafetal en Naranjo
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Whatever happened to Wild Bill?
Are you kidding? Isn't it obvious? Look at that thread title...he morphed into Farouk!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Gene
climber
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^^^ That is awesome Cosmic!!! Well done and good riddance to the Partial Pebble formerly known as 1/2 Dome.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Tis-sa-ack got the sack.
Merced County gets the sand.
Eventually...
Truly inspired, CC!
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MisterE
Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
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Jul 23, 2015 - 10:46am PT
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Half Dome has apparently come back uninvited, and has been doing some skin care from cliff-side above the valley!
True story!
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micronut
Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
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Jul 23, 2015 - 11:37am PT
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Half Dome hasn't left. The Valley is in her blood. Everybody calm down. She's prolly stealth camping in the boulders behind Camp 4.
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jonnyrig
climber
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Jul 23, 2015 - 12:18pm PT
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This really sucks, I think HD is getting the short end of the stick. It's not his fault he's only half the man he used to be.
Half Dome hasn't left. The Valley is in her blood. Everybody calm down. She's prolly stealth camping in the boulders behind Camp 4
HD was here all along, keeping a low profile until, bolstered by current headlines, and the recent court ruling, the transformation from "he" to "she" was completed, and she could feel comfortable in a new era of enlightenment. Beware, ye climbers of rock: she's moody.
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snakefoot
climber
Nor Cal
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Jul 23, 2015 - 12:20pm PT
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it fell off right here at the saddle, i just checked
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