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tahoe523
Trad climber
Station Wagon, USA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 20, 2011 - 01:30am PT
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[Note: this is a long, rambling TR. You have been warned. Proceed only if bored, on the pot or better yet, both.]
Remember, the art of bullsh*tting is not lost on those who don't readily have access to the internet to hip check your bs. While this does not belong in the annals of official Supertopo TRs, I thought I'd provide an account of our devastatingly humble adventure from this weekend past. Why, you ask? To encourage you, too, to beguile your laptop-less friends to climb this fine and dandy route on Higher Cathedral Rock called The Crucifix.
Let's be real now. Of all the climber friends in your rolodex (young people, look it up) how many of them would wake up on their day off, sphincter relaxed, and super amped to ride some fatties? 20%? 10%? Unless you're a proud club card owner of the OW Fetish Club, then it's more like 2%. Ergo, this exfoliating route needs more traffic. If that means resorting to deception to promote a route, then so be it. This beauty of a line could use more polish and less cobwebs.
4 hours of sleep, 300 plus miles and 4 red bulls later, I'm back at el cap bridge. My friends had climbed Half Dome in a day finishing some 8 hours prior to our post-Salathe reunion.
[cue world's smallest violin quartet]
Tired. We were in no mood to aid climb.
None of us were psyched to haul, jug and high step our way up a wall.
Enough! We were going to free climb.
Lurking Fear plans were abandoned with overwhelming enthusiasm, which then begged the question: hmmm, so now what?
"Get on the Crucifix. You guys will have a blast."
Life lesson #249: Heed caution to route/gear suggestions from climbers that are casually working on freeing Quantum Mechanics, the upper pitches of the Leaning Tower, waiting after 10am to chase the shade up Astroman. Hell, anyone from Camp 4 for that matter. Yes, I know. Filed under D for 'Duh'. Filled with relief from our pre-emptive bail off the captain and fueled with leftover pancake scraps from the lodge, we were ready to jump on this so-called Crucifix. Never heard of it. Grrreat!
"Yeah, YOU especially will love it. Bring two #3s, two #4s and yeah maybe take a #5 if you have one."
Neglecting to work on my aerobic fitness these past few months, it came as no surprise that I pussyfooted the entire approach. I took half a dozen mini-breaks. My supposed super wicking underwear was not up to the day's task. Indeed! Filed under T for 'TMI'. It took over an hour to get to the base of the buttress. A new speed record. Awesome! Defending my title as "world's slowest hiker".
Hiding among three backpacks, two haul bags and four loads of laundry, I was too lazy to make an archeological dig through my car to find the Reid guidebook. Cool, maybe we can onsight this puppy. "Hahaha" -Future Me
Past noon. Soaked in sweat. Still at the base of NEB Higher. Hoping to start in the shade, but realizing that we either need to get started or accept the discomforts of a very possible epic. I throw paper to two scissors, grumble and take the end of the rope. On a side note, if you have never climbed the northeast buttress, it is one of the best 5.9 routes in Yosemite. Mushing under the sun like a husky, I ignore the rope drag from two 10mm 70m ropes. With a bit of simuling, I get us to the start of Crucifix in two mega long pitches. If you're doing the NEB, savor the experience and pitch it out. I was tugging on the ropes, pulling slack into my right hand and climbing with my left. Not fun, but I was on a cracked out mission for shade.
P1: still in the sun, but an eighth of a degree cooler, my friend takes the lead. The old pin moves when he takes a poke at it, so he opts out of clipping the ticking time bomb. He makes his way through the 5.12- undercling which is protected by a fixed nut and charges into the dihedral. But(!) not before going off route up the cool flake on the left. Remember? No topo. Lazy high-fives all around. I followed up and pulled on the fix nut, the .5 around the corner and then went back into bone crushing top rope free climbing send mode. In the dihedral is this thin amazing discontinuous seam to protect you as you make some chimney and/or stemming moves. I was sloughing off flakes of granite left and right. Upon exiting the corner you are met with a glorious hand crack to a horn.
P2: Our other partner takes the lead and makes his way to the slightly overhanging #3/3.5 sized crack. He laybacks his way up. With only two #3s, he walks his gear all the way to the anchor. Life lesson #250: when faced with a wide fissure, leap at the opportunity to take the sharp end. You can ostensibly TR your way up and, more importantly, have the arsenal to Plan B French Free. Otherwise, with no wide gear left behind, accept the wrath of having to actually climb the thing.
Would you pound relentlessly on your steering wheel if you saw a, 'honk if you love to fist!' bumper sticker [note:] beside a picture of a blue camalot? Then step right up. This pitch has YOUR name written ALL over it. Without any gear to aid up with, I put on my approach shoes to help with the OWing. Ankles happy. Hiking boots perfectly jammed. Big mitted homo sapiens love to whine about how easy it is for women to dance up .75 and 1 sized routes. Lest we not forget, while we might fly up a thin hands section, we are forced to contort our lilliputian parts when the crack widens. I am rattly fisting and talking hand puppet camming my way up to the next anchor. There's less than a pint of water to share between three thirsty climbers. I start dreaming about pool side pina coladas. At least the view is nice.
P3: Starts up an easy #2 "perfect hand" (ah hem, wide cupping) crack to this ugly looking flaring roof squeeze thing. He took the cams for a walk again; I was left to figure out how to creatively gain altitude. I am sort of at lost for words here. How about elbows deep up a llama's ass for what felt like an eternity, I finally make it to the anchor. Think it's impossible to miss the 40 foot traverse across the right arm of the Crucifix? Let's just say for things like this, you can always count on us to prove you wrong. After having gone too high, I lower my partner. He makes a .4 heavy anchor at the intersection of the cross and backs it up with the bolt and .75 on the right end of the ledge at the start of P4.
P4: Two of us sit on the ledge while the other one starts off the next pitch. We ponder over how much he can link. I crawl around to scope it out.
"How long do you think before the top?"
"Hmmm, looks like 250 feet."
"In meters?"
Look, I used to be able to solve nonlinear second order differential equations. And then I bought an iPhone. With my brain charging behind the espresso maker in Yosemite Lodge, competence impaired, I sputtered, "eh, you know, one full rope length, more or less." I hoped less. I wasn't excited at the prospect of having to simul 5.11c right off the deck. Appropriately, I prayed.
Not sure if God exists. But with the sun setting fast and 1 meter of slack left I hear, "FREE!".
So I'm thinking maybe.
Hot diggity. He was able to link all three pitches to the top! I yarded on two fixed nuts at the start that led up to the loose Chihuahua sized death block that I pulled out and kicked back in with my feet. After the 000 and 00 C3 roof, the climbing was manageable again and we rush to the top as the sun dropped below the horizon.
We follow the cairns down the suckers' route toward the top of Braille Book. I make two more goofs by cutting left too soon. Having not had anything to drink in a while, my mind wanders toward the tasty sound of Bridalveil Falls. Knowing both of the good paths that lead back to the valley floor, we still manage to bushwhack, manzanita surf and tallus hop our way down.
We stumble like drunkards down the gully and are back to home base by 10pm. Midnight I'm laying in the tent half dead. When you find yourself surrounded by a half dozen naked men in their underwear and all you can think about is pizza and wanting to soak in a vat of Neosporin, it's time to take inventory of all the life choices that led you to this.
"We heard you guys climbed on Higher Cathedral. How was it?"
"If you like nice finger cracks, you need to climb the Crucifix."
The next day we are on the road back to San Francisco. With the Spaniards on driving duty, I use my now fully charged brain to consult le google and bust out the longest TR I have ever written with two fingers and no speel chek. Opposable thumbs rejoice!
No pins, no bolts, no hammer, no food, 1 quart of water. Doubles on some hexes, not all, nothing bigger than a 10 hex and a few stoppers. Whoa, no wonder it was rated 5.12b R. With modern gear, the R is relegated to a PG13, if not G rated, climb. Not a fan of walking gear? If you only carry the recommended doubles of 3 and 4, then it's, without a doubt promoted back to R.
No, I don't climb 5.12 and if you don't either, it shouldn't discourage you from getting on this wildly, fun route. When I return, I will have with me a Creek rack of 4 #3s, 2 #4s, 1 #5. It's a load to hump, but the middle two pitches would be stellar to climb without having to bump metal and to just focus on climbing. I'm aiming to lead it at 5.10+ C2. If I can, you can, too.
On Sunday it was led at 5.11c C1.
TL;DR. This route is badass. Especially, you know, if you like finger cracks.
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213
climber
Where the Froude number often >> 1
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:40am PT
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Holy shnikes you are gettin sum this season!!!!!!
Nothing like throwing out the imaginary solution in place of a real one...In the case of questions like 'can i do this sweet climb called the crucifix' or how do i solve du/dt=a*del^2(u) :)
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murcy
Gym climber
sanfrancisco
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:41am PT
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Whoa. In. Tense.
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jvSF
Trad climber
San Francisco
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:51am PT
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Nice! I think we watched you guys from across the gully from the Higher Spire. There were some folks on the NEB too. We guessed that you guys might be in for a nighttime descent. Glad you made it down safely.
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Salamanizer
Trad climber
The land of Fruits & Nuts!
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:54am PT
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I want that bumper sticker.
I like finger cracks!!!\
Good TR.
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 03:41am PT
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Thanks for sharing these cools TRs from your awesome season!
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
bouldering
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Jun 20, 2011 - 04:15am PT
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manzanita surf ... our way down.
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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Jun 20, 2011 - 10:11am PT
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Your writing is superb!!! When you find yourself surrounded by a half dozen naked men in their underwear and all you can think about is pizza and wanting to soak in a vat of Neosporin, it's time to take inventory of all the life choices that led you to this.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!
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the kid
Trad climber
fayetteville, wv
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Jun 20, 2011 - 10:54am PT
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i always wanted to do that route. maybe when i retire..
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David Wilson
climber
CA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:41pm PT
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proud send here tahoe - great job!
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adam d
climber
The Bears, CA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:53pm PT
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awesome TR and climb!
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Daphne
Trad climber
Mill Valley, CA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:57pm PT
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Love, love, love your trip reports. And this one was done on your smart phone? Wow, I bow to your manual dexterity and excellent eyesight, as well as your superb writing. Thanks for the share.
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 01:58pm PT
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Great route. Great send. Great TR.
It would be a waste to save this one until boredom. It's too good.
John
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Darwin
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 02:06pm PT
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I read the write-up twice because I liked the style so much.
What pitch is the flared chimney in the first climbing photo and the photo after that?
Thanks.
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Doug Robinson
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Jun 20, 2011 - 02:18pm PT
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Nice, Tahoe!
Your ability to .10+ your way through a .12 is exceeded only by the brilliance of your writing. Sometimes slow typing helps you re-caste a sentence even as it's spinning out.
MOre, please.
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Jun 20, 2011 - 02:20pm PT
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I wonder if someday I'll be up for this climb.
That flare pitch looks spectacular!
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micronut
Trad climber
fresno, ca
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Jun 20, 2011 - 02:27pm PT
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Gnar. Way to grind it out. Thanks for the entertainment.
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tahoe523
Trad climber
Station Wagon, USA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 20, 2011 - 02:29pm PT
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Darwin, I should not have said chimney. I'm sorry. That's a bit misleading.
P1 has a beautiful, still dirty dihedral where you can make chimney moves the entire way. Impressive sequencing and with modern small gear, well protected. You can put your back away, toward the wall or climb the face outside. All three of us climbed it completely different.
P3 leading to the ledge has this bombay flared crack thing. I didn't lead it, so my memory is not serving anyone here. All I can tell you is that it wasn't easy since he walked all his gear up with him. I was desperate for a #3, but I miraculously managed to chicken wing and then fist hand stack through the 3 section. My partner also thought 2 #5s would have made an onsight more possible. He didn't realize that he should have walked it the first time. He down climbed and scooped it back up. No one likes carrying heavy pieces, but sometimes it pays to have it and just plug, chug and get it done. The crack eventually narrows to .75 to a .5 before you make a careful, really cool traverse right.
I can't wait for this route to get more traffic. 5 * Route.
Daphne, it's amazing what you can do in a car with four hours, an iPhone and 2 double doubles animal style and a milk shake. We women can sure multi-task.
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Impaler
Gym climber
Vancouver
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Jun 20, 2011 - 02:43pm PT
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Sweet! Thanks for sharing! Four 0.5 purple camalots you say??? I'm in!
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Jay Wood
Trad climber
Land of God-less fools
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Jun 20, 2011 - 02:57pm PT
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Nice!
Finger crack for BIG fingers.
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msiddens
Trad climber
Mountain View
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Jun 20, 2011 - 04:54pm PT
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such a cool TR and what an amazing looking route. I've started at this from two locations now. Once from the Spires and a week ago from the NEB. I'm mortal, not worthy.
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Zander
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Jun 20, 2011 - 05:06pm PT
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Good Stuff Tahoe!
Z
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Jun 20, 2011 - 10:13pm PT
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More good sh#t .
I like your charging style.
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Kalimon
Trad climber
Ridgway, CO
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Jun 20, 2011 - 10:41pm PT
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Great job climbing the stellar route and thanks for your fun TR. The rock looks really colorful up there.
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Johnny K.
climber
Southern,California
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Jun 20, 2011 - 11:00pm PT
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2 double doubles animal style!Right on =D
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Jun 21, 2011 - 01:38am PT
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Glad I got to mortal-man my way up that beautiful beast when I had the chance!
Don't think I'm going back though!
Hot diggity. He was able to link all three pitches to the top! I yarded on two fixed nuts at the start that led up to the loose Chihuahua sized death block that I pulled out and kicked back in with my feet. After the 000 and 00 C3 roof, the climbing was manageable again and we rush to the top as the sun dropped below the horizon
That block is like a parlor trick in a halloween haunted house! Wuuuee! Wha!!! Wheew!
Peace
Karl
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mike m
Trad climber
black hills
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Jun 21, 2011 - 01:57am PT
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Great write up. Gotta ask if you took dramamine to ward off car sickness while writing that on your phone.
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mcreel
climber
Barcelona
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Jun 21, 2011 - 09:37am PT
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Great TR, many thanks. Nice photos, too.
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Cain J Waters
Mountain climber
Ithaca, NY
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Jun 21, 2011 - 03:12pm PT
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Fantastic mobile reporting, Tahoe. Posts of this caliber make climbers want to return to a site riddled with off topic nonsense.
Look, I used to be able to solve nonlinear second order differential equations. And then I bought an iPhone. With my brain charging behind the espresso maker in Yosemite Lodge, competence impaired, I sputtered, "eh, you know, one full rope length, more or less."
Highly doubtful since you hail from the Big Red. ;) Keep up the good work. Looks like you're having a helluva season. Thank you for giving us all that logistical information. Contact us if you ever make it to the Gunks! -CW
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cultureshock
Trad climber
Mountain View
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Oct 11, 2011 - 06:08pm PT
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Bump for more climbing threads!
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Oct 11, 2011 - 06:42pm PT
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Good call on the bump!
Pleasingly natural writing style: loose, poignant, funny.
What's even better: in the 70s and 80s this was a well known and admired climb, high on anybody's list of connoisseur (mostly) free routes. Now you come along and treat it with all the innocence and eagerness of pulling a novelty out of an archaeological dig.
Well done Tahoe!
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WilliBilli
Boulder climber
FoCo
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Oct 11, 2011 - 08:24pm PT
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Hey,did you get back on this thing a few weeks ago? I think we saw you from the northeast buttress route. I've never herd a chick laugh so hard while doing something that looked so painful. Way to go, dude!
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Jan 12, 2012 - 05:56pm PT
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Bump for Crucifix stoke.
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michaelj
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jan 12, 2012 - 06:46pm PT
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How come your partners never have names?
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Sonic
Trad climber
Boulder, CO
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Wishing I was in Yosemite and not Orlando Bump!
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Alexey
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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How come your partners never have names? yes, it would be nice at least to mention the partner's name who linked last 3 pitches with full 70m rope. I 'd like to find him and talk him into climb this thing again with me.
Seriously - I want to climb this finger crack in August and looking for partner to do so
Edit: looks that I found good partner already
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Tahoe climber
climber
Davis these days
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Bump for awesomeness and gusto
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Rhodo-Router
Gym climber
overchalking on Grant's Crack
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Oct 30, 2012 - 05:56pm PT
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STOKE TRUMPS ALL.
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wayne burleson
climber
Amherst, MA
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There has always been something magical about Crucifix!
Dare I say, more so, than her siblings A-man and R-rum...
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David Wilson
climber
CA
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holy sh#t Dan - that's an epic picture ! was that from the lip of the big roof ? let's go up there and do that thing. did the NEB a few days ago and looked over. awesome rollers in the orange rock
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mctwisted
Trad climber
e.p.
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count me in David, i'm into wyde again, and go'in to work on wyde all winter. yes i took the shot from the lip of that big ass roof, kinda exciting up there!
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wayne burleson
climber
Amherst, MA
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Dec 28, 2012 - 02:58pm PT
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Bump for the awesome photo 3 posts upthread...
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Dec 28, 2012 - 10:55pm PT
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Thats an amazing photo. What a crack.
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msiddens
Trad climber
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Dec 29, 2012 - 12:00am PT
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Dan-- looks amAzing.
Marc
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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Dec 29, 2012 - 12:04am PT
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SICK photo on one of my favorite TRs ever.
That climb is the real deal
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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Dec 29, 2012 - 01:17pm PT
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It's true, there are several hundred more feet to the ground below the bottom of the frame.... that would be a sweet shot for sure!
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nature
climber
Boulder, CO
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Dec 29, 2012 - 03:53pm PT
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When you find yourself surrounded by a half dozen naked men in their underwear and all you can think about is pizza and wanting to soak in a vat of Neosporin, it's time to take inventory of all the life choices that led you to this.
time for contemplation i suppose...
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Alexey
climber
San Jose, CA
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Shino [tahoe523] left this forum? She had a lot of passion and enthusiasm
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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this tr definitely inspired my jaunt up the crucifix- hope shino is still lurking
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Alexey
climber
San Jose, CA
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for me inspiration was The Warbler FA story:
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=391916&msg=726280#msg726280
and and this Dan's photo of P3 above in this tread
my favorite passage from there:
A couple of days later he woke me up early and off we went. I don't know who was carrying what, all I remember is when we got to the base and dumped out the gear I was shocked again. "Is there another rope?" I asked? Underneath the looming 1500 ft unclimbed wall of Higher Rock he replied "No, why?". There was one fuzzed out red and blue 150 ft Edelrid 9 mil that looked like it was salvaged from a food hang in camp. "It's fine. What's it gonna do, break?"
No pins, no bolts, no hammer, no food, 1 quart of water. Doubles on some hexes, not all, nothing bigger than a 10 hex and a few stoppers.
I was 18 years old, an upstart, and he was the wise Valley Master. I assumed this was the way it was done, and questioned no more.
#10 BD Hex: 55.6/75.2 mm, 2.19/2.96 in
#3 BD Camalot: 50.7-87.9 mm, 2.00-3.46 in
So they had one or two pieces about blue camelot size which is not walkable. 150-160 feet long pitch , I remember to use BD 2#4, 3#3 and 2#2
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WBraun
climber
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Who first freed the roof pitch at the start of Crucifix?
I think it was Peter Mayfield who first freed the last pitch of Crucifix.
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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I read the FA story again - gold!
I believe Mark and Max freed the upper aid bits, but maybe Peter Mayfield did it before them.
Peter Croft freed the start.
Shino mostly posts on facebook these days.
kingtut and I got to shout up to Shino and my son Skyler on A-man when we hiked up North Dome gully in October.
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WBraun
climber
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That's right ... Croft.
That little roof at the start is horrendous ......
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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Wow, that does sound pretty worthy.
Here are a couple of views of some guys climbing the first pitch,
as seen from the traverse on the NE Buttress.
I think I see where some of those blocks were on the FA!
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shylock
Social climber
mb
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Gosh, why is this route so intimidating!? even after getting on it, yikees
this variation looks fun. i remember looking down and left from the Crucifix P1 belay, face is definitely featured and cool looking.
Does anyone know what's up with the continuation of the crucifix crack? like if you don't do the big traverse on the 3rd pitch. Sloan says it's 5.11. He also says it's how you access the Gravity Ceiling but that's pretty obviously not the case.
So much cool stuff on that wall.
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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The continuation crack looks nice, and some people climb a bit of it when they are not sure when to traverse right.
But it leads to the huge roof, well right of the free version of Gravity Ceiling.
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L
climber
Just bearly here
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Another Tahoe TR I haven't seen--oh happy day!
She's definitely one of the best writers on ST. Certainly the funniest.
Nice post of the photo of Rob Miller, Clint. Can that guy make hell look fun or what?
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