Discussion Topic |
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 20, 2010 - 05:42pm PT
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So a buddy and I take my 6 year old daughter with us to Billy Goat Rock at Castle Rock State Park last Saturday. I lead the 5.11 on the right side. My daughter says, great job daddy, whats that route called? Uh.....the regular route I say. No way I'm going to say, This route is called Cummed On, and the one next to it here that I'm going to climb is called Permanent Erection! Having climbed up there since I was young, I always thought all the nasty route names were funny. Now that I'm rearing my own, I question if the names are appropriate.
What are the dirtiest route names that youve heard of?
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:47pm PT
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foaming at the crotch.
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:49pm PT
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Immature potty mouth climbers and their route names;....
Here's some of the newer ones....
Booby Love, Tits on a Bull, My Penis Floats, Fah-Q, Fugly, Horny Goat Weed, , The Nee Nee, The Floater, Fur, I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa, The Fetus, Licking Wood, Cherry Glazer, Puss Boy, Blow the Scro, Sinking the Bismark, My Balls Feel Like a Pair of Marachas, The Teabag, Jimmy Biggerstaff, VaJayJay, Good Will Humping, Gizm Prism, Buttmilk, Splittail, Manboobs, An Erection Lasting Longer than Four Hours, May a Dick Grow out of you Forehead, Inspect Her Gadget, Goop Gobbler, Weiner Inspector, Snottrockets, Beating Around the Bush, Candyass, and STFUn00b
Here's some older ones...
http://joshuatreeclimb.com/HistoryGuest/polincor.htm
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 20, 2010 - 05:50pm PT
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Wow wege, thats just disgusting. The mental imagery there is not good!
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Captain...or Skully
Big Wall climber
Transporter Room 2
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:51pm PT
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I think Todd wins. Hands down.
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 20, 2010 - 05:52pm PT
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Nice Todd. My favorite for sure is "Brush your teeth with Jesus"!!
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manpants vanjerkenberg
climber
space
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:54pm PT
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in the valley,
way homo sperm burpers from fresno
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Jack Burns
climber
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:55pm PT
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Sweating Like A Hooded Rapist. Potash, Moab.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:56pm PT
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I always liked "Teenage girls don't blow gorbies" at Squamish. No idea what the route is like, but the name is sure weird.
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Ricardo Cabeza
climber
All Over.
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:57pm PT
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Just browsing a guidebook looking for dirty route names and it seems the higher the grade, the more crass the names.
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nutjob
Trad climber
Berkeley, CA
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Jul 20, 2010 - 05:57pm PT
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In the valley:
Anal Tongue Darts
Olga's Trick (I guess that's not so dirty sounding)
Chingando
Mongolian Clusterfvck
Deep Throat
Fecophilia
Knob Hill Rapist (not vulgar, but tough to explain to an 8 year old daughter)
Ain't that a Bitch
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 20, 2010 - 06:00pm PT
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Anal tongue darts. Now thats imagery.
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Captain...or Skully
Big Wall climber
Transporter Room 2
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Jul 20, 2010 - 06:02pm PT
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Yeesh.
Magnolia ThunderPussy doesn't even register, huh?
Nevermind, then.
Carry on.
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kev
climber
A pile of dirt.
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Jul 20, 2010 - 06:06pm PT
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OWENS RIVER GORGE!!!
Examples
1) c#m soaked jizz pic
2) show your tits
etc
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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Jul 20, 2010 - 06:38pm PT
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onedge - I'm going to go with Obscenity Wall at Paradise Forks for $200.
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edejom
Boulder climber
Butte, America
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Jul 20, 2010 - 07:46pm PT
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A few from Montucky:
Heinous Anus Cookies
Twilight Moan in the Passion Zone
Candy Samples' Big Breasts Plus
Hod Rod of Love
Pineapple Thunderpussy
"Daddy, you're crushing my smokes!"
:-)
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PRRose
climber
Boulder
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Jul 20, 2010 - 07:49pm PT
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Swinging C#&% at Millbrook. Not much chance of sugar-coating that one.
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Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
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Jul 20, 2010 - 07:52pm PT
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Skin Boat to Tuna Town at Fremont Canyon.
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Acer
Big Wall climber
AZ
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Jul 20, 2010 - 08:18pm PT
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Name the wall..
ontheedgeandscaredtodeath
The Routes
Hand Job through Papooshka, The Russian Slut.
I can name that wall and crag!!!
Paradise Forks – Obscenity Wall
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deepnet
Boulder climber
CA
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Jul 20, 2010 - 08:28pm PT
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"Boner's Knot"
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Ricardo Cabeza
climber
All Over.
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Jul 20, 2010 - 08:33pm PT
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OK, let's get trivia style with it.
Anal Sex, 5.8R
Where?
Donkey Show, 5.10
Where?
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 20, 2010 - 08:44pm PT
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Platypussy (CRSP)
or
Rectalphobiac (Summit Rock)
also
Clamydia (CRSP)
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MisterE
Social climber
Bouncy Tiggerville
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Jul 20, 2010 - 08:49pm PT
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On the Cohn Property there's some.
"The Wall of Disgusting Butt Sex" has some routes...rlf?
Then there's "Fetus in a Bag", named after my exploded PBJ sandwich
And the route "SkullF*#k" at Rifle...
Sedona routes:
"Ultimate Dirty Sanchez" in Pumphouse Wash
"Overly Stimulated Taint" at Wilson Mountain
"Tiptoe through the Two Lips" in Boynton Canyon
"The Pope's Dick" at Schnebly Hill Road
"Righteous Dump", "Smoke Big Doobs, Suck Big Boobs", "Susie and Ishmael Do the Nasty", "Uncle Fister" and "More Anus than Heinous" at The Waterfall area.
I'll have to check the Flagstaff sheets later...
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flakyfoont
Trad climber
carsoncity nv
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Jul 20, 2010 - 09:04pm PT
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kev, dont forget at ORG "snapping pussy doll" (next to "jizz soaked action pics")
ekat on Dike Wall " lesbie friends" " double ender" "no erection needed"
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Fat Dad
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Jul 20, 2010 - 09:10pm PT
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Some mentioned the ORG. One particularly unfortunate name springs to mind: Black Chicks in Heat.
Real classy that one.
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Wack
climber
Dazevue
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Jul 20, 2010 - 09:17pm PT
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"the one next to it here that I'm going to climb is called Permanent Erection! "
Hopefully the chalk tic marks have been refreshed. In the Valley there is the aptly named "Hershey Highway".
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prunes
climber
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Jul 20, 2010 - 09:38pm PT
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Ich Bein ein Aisle Arse frikker von Herlog (I am a dirty donkey Butt----er from hell
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SprayMaster
climber
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Jul 21, 2010 - 03:39am PT
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Frenchman's Coulee, Washington has these gems:
-Menstruating Whale Snatch
-Rolfing My Dick
-Where's My F*#king Crack Pipe?
-Flossing With Pubic Hair
-Seven Virgins and a Mule
-Rimming the Berries
And many more, most of them named by the same first ascentionist.
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Jennie
Trad climber
Elk Creek, Idaho
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Jul 21, 2010 - 04:16am PT
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Take plenty of hand sanitizer....for these elegant pilgrimages, friends!
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avid
Trad climber
sacramento, ca
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Jul 21, 2010 - 05:36pm PT
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Phantom Spires:
Lesbian Love - 5.11c
Anal Sex - 5.8 X
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 21, 2010 - 07:22pm PT
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Why so many sexual references? Probably because climbers are dirtbags that nobody wants to have sex with! Thats the only explanation I can think of to account for all the Vag/tits/anal referenced names listed.
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EdBannister
Mountain climber
CA
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Jul 21, 2010 - 08:39pm PT
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Limp Dick
Fellatio
and later,
Pink Royd
and later still
Pajama Glue
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HighTraverse
Trad climber
Bay Area
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Jul 21, 2010 - 08:45pm PT
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eKat
which is your favorite?
"Ilsa She Wolf of the SS" always gets my attention. Not vulgar but pretty hard to explain to a 6yr old.
Mongolian ClusterFk is perfectly descriptive of some of my adventures.
karo
If you're having trouble with climb names now, wait a few more years and try to explain some rap lyrics to her.
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karodrinker
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 21, 2010 - 10:02pm PT
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Hey Fred! Too late, she's already singing songs that make me cringe. Hard to believe that crass, and generally uncouth me is worried about this stuff, but having a little girl just changes a man. She's growing up and it's scary!
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mottaaa
Trad climber
tucson
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Jul 21, 2010 - 10:37pm PT
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nancys' crack, windy point, Mt Lemmon. I can't take my wife to that one.
pig farts in hell
hard day at the orifice
betty meets the mother lode
bettys' bunny died
poo tongue crack
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mark miller
Social climber
Reno
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Jul 21, 2010 - 11:14pm PT
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Homo Sperm Burpers,,,,gets my vote, But I prefer eatin split tail......
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hamie
Social climber
Thekoots
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Jul 22, 2010 - 02:57am PT
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There is a cleverly named route on The Maiden, part of the Flatirons at Boulder. I always hesitate before saying it aloud, just to be sure. It's called "Cunning Stunt". Very appropriate. Very punny. H.
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sethsquatch76
Trad climber
Joshua tree ca
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Jul 22, 2010 - 11:53am PT
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"Spread your legs and trust the rubber" FA last season in JT
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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Jul 22, 2010 - 12:07pm PT
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about time that got onto rock, seth. i first heard that out of the mouth of bob gaines on suicide rock to a classful of beginners, mixed gender.
there's a formation in the organ mountains of new mexico called ORP. according to the guidebook, "the origins of this word are lost in antiquity". many climbers have wondered in awe at this masterpiece of nature. relationships have been sundered because of it. we can only note that it is higher than it is wide.
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FeelioBabar
Trad climber
One drink ahead of my past.
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Jul 22, 2010 - 12:17pm PT
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"Abortions on parade"...right next to "Nipples and Clits"...lol.
back of the breadloves...City of Rocks Idaho.
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socalbolter
Sport climber
Silverado, CA
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Jul 22, 2010 - 12:24pm PT
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Last time I was in Australia, I climbed at the PC Wall in Nowra. The initials do not stand for Politically Correct, but instead are short for Planet Cock. Just about any route name on that wall would qualify for this thread.
In fact, the Australian sport climbers of the late 80's and early 90's took lycra wear and "fashion" to new heights (depths?) and their crags have the greatest concentrations of fowl and vulgar route names I've seen anywhere.
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originalpmac
Mountain climber
Anywhere I like
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Jul 22, 2010 - 12:54pm PT
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tighter then a ten year old.
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HighTraverse
Trad climber
Bay Area
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Jul 22, 2010 - 01:00pm PT
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Kalen
look what you started
you ought to be ashamed!
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goatboy smellz
climber
Nederland
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Jul 22, 2010 - 01:32pm PT
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south platte;
Cὐnt Trumpet Political Marching Band
Pussy Trombone
flatirons;
Cunning Linguist
vedauwoo;
Biggest Tits In Country Music
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Bruce Morris
Social climber
Belmont, California
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Jul 22, 2010 - 02:53pm PT
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If you're traveling with your family and you're staying in a motel, turn on the big screen full volume so that the kids cannot hear the couple through the wall of the adjacent room making noises and yelling profanities. If they hear such things, they'll be damaged for life and it was all your fault.
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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Jul 22, 2010 - 03:50pm PT
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i believe it's a vermin classic, when he hung out at the hueco tanks quonset and fell in with a texas stripper at the joint just down the road:
tanks for the mammaries
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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Jul 22, 2010 - 05:47pm PT
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been there, done that, bruce. a josh dive on the night of a family mutiny against camping in the cold. it was pretty late, and i slept through it, but mariko said it came through the wall loud and clear with each bump of the headboard:
"oh jesus! oh jesus! oh jesus! oh jesus!"
the kids were zonked, but i'm afraid they may have picked up a subliminal message.
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Dropline
Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
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Jul 22, 2010 - 05:51pm PT
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My favorite...
Tits Like Orange Fireballs
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KP Ariza
climber
SCC
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Jul 23, 2010 - 03:38am PT
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That ain't sea spray Johnny V8- Mickey's Beach
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sethsquatch76
Trad climber
Joshua tree ca
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Jul 23, 2010 - 08:00am PT
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Picture in your mind a 200ft black pillar against a beautiful Utah bright red sand stone wall, AKA The Coke bottle.
Crack formed on left, "Mormans on coke" 5.10 OW
Face in middle of pillar " Edgy Mormans" 5.11
Crack formed on Right " Mormans on Crack" 11+? project OW
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