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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 17, 2009 - 08:16pm PT
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So one night while exploring the inner sanctum of a local watering hole, Buggs meets a grizzled old half breed miner. They strike up a conversation and with a wishful gleam in his eye, the miner weaves Buggs a tale of a mythical land, populated by an elusive tribe of prehistoric women.
These women you see, who have lost all their breeding menfolk, are wishing for some men strong and brave enough to climb their sacred peak and help them repopulate in their remote mountaintop temple. The old man says he knows where they are, but couldn't accomplish the climb.
They don't want to become extinct, but they would rather have that than to touch a man who can't climb to the summit. So Buggs slurrs, I'm a climber, I'm yer man, but hey, how do I know they're really there?
As proof the old miner shows Buggs a couple photographs. "Whoa, nice, gimme those things!" He says as he snatches the pictures from the helpless old man.
Exhibit A:
More about the expedition in a minute.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 17, 2009 - 08:48pm PT
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Buggs basically beats a little hand drawn map out of the poor old geezer and splits the bar.
So Buggs cons me into his little "expedition" and away we go on a cold December morning.
At least it was a great day....
Here's some countryside on the way.
And Buggs with grim determination. Focused on the goal.
After what seems like an eternity of driving, at last! The sacred peak of the prehistoric women is in sight.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 17, 2009 - 09:31pm PT
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After whippin' the truck across miles of wilderness, we at last gain the base of the mighty tower.
Let the search for the hungry cave chicks begin!
hmmm...none here!
must be higher up...
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 17, 2009 - 10:21pm PT
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More, Buggs, MORE!!!!!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 17, 2009 - 10:54pm PT
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We kept a sharp eye out, but we saw no sign of the women on the lower reaches.
It didn't bother us though, we knew where they were.
At least that's what Buggs kept saying.....
The defensive ramparts came into clearer focus.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 17, 2009 - 11:06pm PT
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Upward and onward we toiled, following the old man's crude treasure map.
My mind raced with thoughts of a wild goose chase and unfulfilled dreams.
Come on survival! Have I ever steered you wrong before?
Ummmm ....gee.. Buggs, let me see.
All we have to do is follow the yellow brick road and we'll have them!!
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Fritz
Trad climber
Hagerman, ID
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Dec 17, 2009 - 11:12pm PT
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I'm riveted! Dude! This is a hot adventure!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 17, 2009 - 11:20pm PT
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The climb steepened and the quest became more crystal clear.
Damn you Buggs! What if we never see our beloved homeland again?!
Sheaffer too begins to think we've taken leave of our senses.
But up and up we go. The temperature drops and the wind begins to bite...
Sheaffer wants to quit. He has no thumbs you see, so he has to resort to direct aid!!
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
Top of the 5.2-5.12 Boulder
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Dec 17, 2009 - 11:39pm PT
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WooHoo!
Packin' pups! Very cool. Fer him, anyway.
Please continue, sir.
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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Dec 17, 2009 - 11:44pm PT
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The dog pack!!
Nice story, cool pup, and great pix!
Whooop!
Mucci
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Dec 18, 2009 - 12:51am PT
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A dog? What's up with that? You thinkin something like "Sure, Buggs is handsomer than me, but chicks always dig a guy with a dog, so maybe if i bring Sheaffer I'll get lucky"?
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Zander
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Dec 18, 2009 - 12:56am PT
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Did they bivy?
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Dec 18, 2009 - 01:12am PT
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You guys are nuts. Please continue. Make it good.
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Happy Idiot
Trad climber
Santa Fe
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Dec 18, 2009 - 02:06am PT
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Oh, who doesn't struggle in seek of dulce cabezon.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Dec 18, 2009 - 02:36am PT
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By now, Coronado would have found the seven cities of Cibola. :-)
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 18, 2009 - 09:08am PT
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I always knew you were a stand up dood, Bruce.
Shaeffer says so!!!!!!
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Reilly
Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
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Dec 18, 2009 - 11:07am PT
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Bruce, where's da wimmin, huh?
Ya know, I've searched many a hill and dale in
New Mexico and came up snake eyed, er, so to speak.
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Chiloe
Trad climber
Lee, NH
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Dec 18, 2009 - 11:08am PT
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Those prehistoric wimmin must like cold air, judging by the contrast between their outfits and yours!
Looks like the dog's got things figured.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 11:39am PT
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Hey what do you expect from mountaintop temple dwelling prehistoric women?
Of course they're tough! It was cold, but I'm trying to help Buggs get to the sacred mount. I HAD to carry his dog...that's just the way I roll.
On the upper reaches, after a desperate struggle with the crux, Buggs found this and screamed with delight. It's like he was drunk with desire.
His quest was taking his mind....
Onward we scraped, Sheaffer and I becoming increasingly worried about Buggs mad ramblings...
The summit drew near now, our painful struggle almost over.
"I can smell them!!" Buggs yelled at the top of his lungs. "Wait for me my darlings!"
As he rushed onward, another photo fell out of his pocket. I grabbed it off the ledge before the wind snatched it into oblivion. Sheaffer looked at me with fear in his eyes...
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 11:59am PT
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As we neared the top, I caught a fraction of movement out of the corner of my eye. I spun my head...there she was!! And then just shimmering air, where she had been.
Damn you Buggs!!
Was I losing my mind too??
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Dec 18, 2009 - 12:08pm PT
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More shots of that fantastic doggie.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 12:16pm PT
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Here you go Peter.
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Dec 18, 2009 - 12:16pm PT
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?Queensland Heeler/Australian Cattle Dog-ish?
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 12:28pm PT
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Yes, you're correct in there somewhere. Blue heeler is all I know.
That dog has more personality than many humans I know!
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 18, 2009 - 12:43pm PT
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Very cool, but were Barbara Bach, Rae Dawn Chong and Darryl Hannah there, as well as Raquel?
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Footloose
Trad climber
Lake Tahoe
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Dec 18, 2009 - 12:50pm PT
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Fine art, here.
Thanks!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 01:11pm PT
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Jaybro, have you met the miner too?
Have you been to the sacred mountain??
The old miner said they had some "painted women" as captives....
I was gonna get to the part where Buggs kept pulling out more pictures to keep me going, but you dragged it out of me....
Damn you and your truth serum Jaybro!!
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corniss chopper
Mountain climber
san jose, ca
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Dec 18, 2009 - 01:37pm PT
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don't forget the part about finding the escalator to the temple
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 18, 2009 - 01:49pm PT
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Kind of like the escape high dive in one of those Flint movies...
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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Dec 18, 2009 - 03:36pm PT
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Too much!!!
Hope you guys brought wax.
Hey there's a mythic temple of babes here, too.
It's called the UofA in winter.
Looking forward to more!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 11:13pm PT
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At long last, we crawled onto the summit field, weak with exhaustion but still ready to undertake our duty with the mighty princesses.
There in the distance we saw it, the temple!!
We approached, and found...........nothing.
Only the summit of a beautiful peak, ourselves, and the lonely cold wind moaning in our ears.
Buggs looking for evidence in the ruins of the once great "master bedroom."
Facing the reality of an empty nest.
Survival and Sheaffer trying to put on a brave face.
Buggs lonely truck waiting for us far below.
And so we descended with broken hearts, wondering if we had the guts to make it home alive. Now we have joined the ranks of Coronado and Ponce De Leon in our emptiness.
We leave an empty kingdom behind us, but we know they'll be back.
They're probably just on their annual migration.....
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 18, 2009 - 11:33pm PT
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So where is this place where the fur bikini babes may frolic on the basalt? one of the seven cities of gold?
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 18, 2009 - 11:53pm PT
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I cannot tell you my dear Jaybro...there are only broken hearts there.
Just kidding! It's the Rio Puerco country, NM.
Cabezon Peak.
It's an awesome place, that is if you can appreciate an extreme lack of people.
There are fifty volcanic necks in that area, Cabezon being the tallest at over 8,000 ft.
We had a great day.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 19, 2009 - 12:11pm PT
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Not quite as "peaky" as Weavers, but awesome anyway.
The cave women are hotter here.
We'll find them.......next time!!
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Grinching
Trad climber
Happy Valley, Oregon
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Dec 19, 2009 - 01:36pm PT
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Dis is a good one ... Can't wait to see if they find the promised land!
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 19, 2009 - 01:38pm PT
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Cool I had this idea that it was either behind Picacho peak in Az, or it was that thing you see when you drive to the Black from Vail. Once again, as usual, wrong on both counts, Cheers!
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Chiloe
Trad climber
Lee, NH
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Dec 19, 2009 - 01:38pm PT
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Only the summit of a beautiful peak, ourselves, and the lonely cold wind moaning in our ears.
Maybe they're on the next mountain!
Thanks for bringing us along this time.
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Klimmer
Mountain climber
San Diego
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Dec 19, 2009 - 01:46pm PT
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Beautiful women for sure. Keeps the dream alive . . .
Hey, you guys there is a perfect paragliding launch at the top in your images. C'mon got to turn it into a multi-element adventure! Make sure you bring a tandem wing though so you can fly home with your new found wonder woman mate ;-))
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 19, 2009 - 01:52pm PT
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Grinchling, Dude I'm so stoked you're here!!!
Chiloe, Yes, you're right, they ARE on top of the next mountain!
We'll find them dang it. That old miner's map was just a little out of date that's all!
Klimmer, wings, what a great idea!
I'm just a little sceered that's all......
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 21, 2009 - 01:25am PT
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A special nod to my friend in Oregon, who probably got a bigger laugh out of this fairy tale than anyone else!
Thing is, she thinks it's fiction.........
Just wait til there's little loin skin wearin' Buggs and Survivals runnin' around in those hills!!
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
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Dec 21, 2009 - 02:40am PT
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Excellent tale, Survival!
-JelloDreamsOfCavewomenOnTheMountain
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guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
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Dec 21, 2009 - 03:41am PT
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Had a dog and his name was "Blue", bet yah ten dollars he's a good dog.................................................................................................................................................................tooooooooo
Nice story Survival-just a different approach to "Avoiding the Touch."
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survivalmademedoit
Trad climber
Grantham, New Hampshire
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Dec 21, 2009 - 07:05am PT
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You guys are rock! Looks like a super time. Great story!
Hope the camera is working out well for you.
MV
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Unforgiven
Mountain climber
Dirt
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Dec 21, 2009 - 07:42am PT
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This TR is about as good as a salt lick in the desert!
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 21, 2009 - 08:07am PT
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What's cool is how patient that obviouslly high energy dawg is, in the pack!
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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Dec 21, 2009 - 12:18pm PT
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Unforgiven-
I'm sure Buggs and Survival have something salty you can lick.
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TKingsbury
Trad climber
MT
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Dec 21, 2009 - 12:32pm PT
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very cool TR, enjoyable read for sure!
Thanks for the love!
Cheers!
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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Dec 21, 2009 - 01:20pm PT
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Tami- AGREED!
When you distill the experience down, and weed out all the extraneous crap, it's all about getting out there with your friend- throw in a dog, a summit,a beautiful view...and there you have the essence of climbing.
There will be other days for hard pulling, and pushing yourself.
Thanks guys.
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Fritz
Trad climber
Hagerman, ID
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Dec 21, 2009 - 01:21pm PT
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Survival: Great trip report. Something is added to the adventure when you are searching.
Having a pet or rubber chicken in the photos helps my viewer interest too.
I've always been attracted to obscure desert mountains in the middle of nowhere.
Now I know why-----tribes of wild babes.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 21, 2009 - 02:50pm PT
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Thanks a million gang.
I knew I wanted to get a bit more creative than, Buggs and I hiking some 4th class desert peak, and we were joking on the way up about this.
I knew this crowd could appreciate!!
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Shingle
climber
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Dec 21, 2009 - 03:06pm PT
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I don't think you are kidding.
The name “Cabezon” is derived from the Spanish noun “cabeza,” meaning “head,” and “Cabezon” translates as “big head.”
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Dec 24, 2009 - 10:47am PT
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Niiiiiice.
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Ray Olson
Trad climber
Imperial Beach, California
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Dec 24, 2009 - 11:06am PT
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kitty cat - meeeow!
"gimme danger little stranger
I feel your disease
there's nothin', in my dreams
but some ugly memories
kiss me like the ocean breeze...."
iggy pop - gimme danger
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2009 - 04:54pm PT
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Buggs ran into the old miner again at the bar last night.
We've got a new map!!!!
However, it's a new tribe also. But they have the same problem, and they also live on a mountaintop.
That old miner is an amazing guy.
This time we'll find them for sure......................
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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Dec 25, 2009 - 04:57pm PT
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Now we're talkin!
Merry Christmas Bruce!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 25, 2009 - 08:23pm PT
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Merry christmas to you too brother Jefe!
You wanna come on the next expedition?
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MH2
climber
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Dec 25, 2009 - 08:56pm PT
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Best trip report since Winnie the Pooh went for the North Pole.
Went exploraneering out back of North Vancouver once and got much closer to Rae Dawn Chong than you guys ever did, but had no dog of our own and less personality than yours.
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Dick Erb
climber
June Lake, CA
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Dec 25, 2009 - 09:30pm PT
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Wandering up the approach, sitting on the belay ledge, there is always so much more going on in our heads than the usual stuff that goes into trip reports. I love to see you, Survival, getting into the other aspects of the experience, and stimulating the minds of other supertopians.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 25, 2009 - 10:33pm PT
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You better invite me, Survival!!!!!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 26, 2009 - 10:50am PT
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Steve,
You're welcome to come along.
The old miner said that this one will only mate with one named Steve, so I guess we'll be needing your "services".
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 26, 2009 - 02:29pm PT
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Va Va KABOOM!!!!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 2, 2010 - 09:41pm PT
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Bump cause there's no fun survival trip report happening right now.
Steve, I'll take care of the young one above, you deal with granny.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - May 6, 2010 - 09:42am PT
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They came to me in a dream last night......
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Fritz
Trad climber
Hagerman, ID
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Survival: Don't know if its the same tribe or another one. this is in Four Corners area.
We found some clues, put 2 + 2 together, drank some beer, and have some ideas where to look.
We found the petroglyhs just below these ruins with a clear view of those buttes to the north. Also, it was a stiff climb to the ruin, so there's another clue that it was Amazon babe territory.
Seems obvious to us.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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To the buttes for the butts?
Or to the buttes for the beauts?
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - May 6, 2010 - 01:14pm PT
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Fritz, I hope you went for it and found your prey!
Pray for prey beautes on the buttes with beaut butts!!
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 19, 2011 - 03:28am PT
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Crazy Buggs Bump!!
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TomCochrane
Trad climber
Santa Cruz Mountains and Monterey Bay
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Jan 19, 2011 - 04:09am PT
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Now it is finally revealed why Mallory never gave a straight answer to the question.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 10, 2014 - 09:09am PT
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Fritz Bump!
As you can plainly see, the search for the Lost Tribe Of The Prehistoric Women has been going on for a long time......
Even Henry Fonda tried his hand at it, but he was all bowlegged and didn't have the skillz!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jun 10, 2014 - 11:47am PT
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Betty Rubble's cousin, Charmaine Chosspile, Mr. Slate's "niece."
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Jun 10, 2014 - 12:30pm PT
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Survival! I jest know their out there, waiting to be discovered by us!
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 10, 2014 - 01:10pm PT
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We will find them Fritz!!
Nobody wonders where my screen shot above comes from??????
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Jun 10, 2014 - 03:40pm PT
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OK? I'll bite. Is the Henry Fonda movie butte the same that you & Buggs climbed at the start of this epic story?
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Sep 11, 2016 - 12:09am PT
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Bump for a Fritzian classic.
Prehistoric vampire cave women...did they actually exist?
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