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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 8, 2005 - 02:00am PT
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This is Page 2 of a ten-part post. If you have somehow arrived at this point without quite knowing how, please click here to return to the beginning.
Some climbers like to set speed records, and I am no exception. Bet ya didn’t know I had my own page on Hans Florine’s speedclimb.com, eh? In my case I try to set a record for not only the slowest ascent, but also for the most luxurious. It is, after all, a holiday. And Tom and I climb in Full-On Holiday Mode. This requires no climbing be done before noon, and mornings be spent festering on the ledge whilst drinking coffee, shaving in Tom’s case and in mine – working on my suntan.
It’s hell on the big wall.
Above the pigs you can see the massive Footstool, already looking pretty small. To the right side of the photo and above me and my pasty-white flesh, the Merced River is overflowing its banks at the oxbow, flooding a huge area of the meadow to the south-east of the Zodiac Pullout which is normally dry. As you probably recall, there was extensive flooding this spring in Yosemite Valley.
Unfortunately, the biggest nuisance of Big Wall Camping is the need to actually climb the wall, so we were finally obliged after a couple of nights to move our camp upwards to the next ledge, just right of the Texas Flake on The Nose.
Above you can see Tom getting the pigs ready to take off, with the Catch Lines visible in place. That big red sack to his left is his sleeping bag. Lovely, isn’t it? Aficionados will recognize the slab at the base of Mescalito where we began our climb.
The three pitches above Lay Lady Ledge involve mostly crack-jugging four-inch to six-inch-wide cracks. One wonders how the first ascensionists protected these cracks, or if they just went for it. These pitches probably go free at 5.10 or so if you were so inclined, which I emphatically am not. I retired from free climbing years ago. Hell, I even wrote a song about it. Click the link for the chords and lyrics. Gimme a beer and a piano, and I’ll sing it for you. Gimme two beers, and I’ll stop singing it for you.
Tom was laughing his ass off while cleaning this pitch when he came upon a nest of four manky pins I whacked into an incipient crack, equalized, and then clipped with a Screamer. “Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!” laughed Tom. “That’s what you get for not bringing enough big cams for pro!” Judging by the pinscars, I wasn’t the first to do so.
Normally Tom wears his big klunky Scarpa plastic boots on the wall, but as you have seen they were starting to fall apart. I shrewdly loaned him my spare pair of 5.10 wall shoes, which were actually his to begin with. Seems he traded one of his Valley Giant 9” cams to a guy working at 5.10 in exchange for a pair of shoes, which turned out to be a half-size too small for him. Pity, as they fit me perfectly. If you’ve never seen Tom’s big-ass Valley Giant cams, you should have a click on the link above. These things are superbly crafted, and hugely stronger than any commercially made cams on the market. You can order some from the website linked above, unless you want to scare yourself silly running it out up some offwidth.
Since Tom was wearing my new shoes, accordingly I sent him to climb the rather intimidating chimney behind the Texas Flake. Sticky rubber and all. And better him than me, that’s for bloody sure! The chimney is much too wide even for Tom’s legendary twelve-incher, but at least there’s a chicken bolt in behind it now which wasn’t there when my partner climbed it for me in 1988. Strangely enough, nobody has seen fit to chop it. Which is fine by me.
You can click here to join me on top of the Texas Flake, and move to Page 3 of this ten-part photo essay.
If you have somehow arrived at this point without quite knowing how, please click here to return to the beginning.
In order to reduce clusterf*ckage and to keep everything together, may I request that you please do not reply to this post, and instead leave your comments here. Thanks, eh?
Note: If you are bored of climbing pictures, please scroll down for PICTURES OF HOT NUNS!
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Topic Author's Reply - May 12, 2010 - 04:12pm PT
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Thanks, Pate.
I originally broke this thing up into ten pages to give the guys on dialup a break, but isn't virtually everyone on cable or DSL these days?
It appears as though McTopo has changed the coding on its forum, and my links are all busted. Anyone know what needs to be done to correct the links?
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Topic Author's Reply - May 12, 2010 - 05:38pm PT
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If you want to do that for me, that would be really awesome. I'm sorry I just don't have time right now as I'm getting ready for the wall. Message me and I could change my password for you so you could do it for me.
Cheers!
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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May 12, 2010 - 05:41pm PT
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Message me and I could change my password for you so you could do it for me.
Are you serious? Give pate your pw? You do that and the TR will end up being about tribal rites with naughty nuns.
On second thought, that sounds pretty good. So go for it.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Topic Author's Reply - May 12, 2010 - 06:29pm PT
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Normally my walls involve inflatable sheep, but Pate can insert 1 [one] picture of a naughty nun, no more than once every page.
Remember that album back in the late 70's or early 80's by the Monks? British band that did Nice Legs, Shame About the Face. Anyway, they had an album cover of a naughty nun, caught smoking with her heels and fishnet stockings and a mickey stuck in her garter. Good stuff! Start with that photo.
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Roxy
Trad climber
CA Central Coast
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May 12, 2010 - 07:46pm PT
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bump for nun tolerance
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Anastasia
climber
hanging from a crimp and crying for my mama.
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May 12, 2010 - 08:21pm PT
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Ha! Nice to see you on the walls again Pete!
:)AFS
By the way, those shoes on the girl are freaking me out.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Topic Author's Reply - May 12, 2010 - 08:41pm PT
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Bring on the nuns! If you're gonna break my rule, break it right!
P.S. I figured out how to fix the busted links. It seems they no longer work with the bold using the [ b] coding, but work ok with the double asterisk coding. I'll fix the other busted links, too.
Have to go out, but will finish up pages 3 to 10, then bump up the original.
In the meantime, NUNS please!
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Mark Hudon
Trad climber
Hood River, OR
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May 12, 2010 - 11:40pm PT
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This is just about the best TR ever although I don't get the nuns thing.
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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May 13, 2010 - 12:31am PT
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Mark Hudon....Locker ain't getting nun either....rj
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Mark Hudon
Trad climber
Hood River, OR
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May 13, 2010 - 01:35pm PT
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Yeah baby! It's fixed!
So Pete, enjoy this being the best TR ever for another month or so. After I do the route, hopefully I'll get some good photos an I'll post up and even better TR!
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