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MisterE
Trad climber
My Inner Nut
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 15, 2008 - 09:00pm PT
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A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the
instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six
floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a
particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These
men Have Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second
floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs
and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely
Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep
going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good
Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims,
'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New
Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
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Sir loin of leisure...
Trad climber
X
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Dec 15, 2008 - 09:05pm PT
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I went to the third floor,all that was there was a picture of tucker...
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Dec 15, 2008 - 09:32pm PT
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Thanks, Erik - a good one!
It is helpful when women say that they want things "to be perfect". Some expression from popular culture. Anyway, a standard I'll never meet.
The London School of Economics (!) recently held a beauty pageant. The winner (Miss LSE) was asked what three things she would bring to a desert island?
Her answer: "A manual about how to build a boat, materials to build a boat, and a man to build a boat for me."
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20081213.BEAUTY13/TPStory/?query=london+school+economics
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Dec 15, 2008 - 09:35pm PT
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Should you beat her if she makes you build the boat by yourself?
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:01am PT
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Well, Mr. E that's Funny ! I am lolrotf
I will never have a prob. How could you let someone have all the fun building the boat. Course I'd want 50/50 sailing time.
But yo dudes just be funnin' about all this violence sheeee rite ? cause i got connections in east la's hood, jess sayin'.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:06am PT
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East LA???
C'mon Lynnie - we're supposed to believe you be hanging with vatos?
I figured with all the "yo's" you been hanging in Compton instead:)
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:20am PT
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Ricky D, east la is the hood.
Course I never mapped out the turf, just stuck to the hood I knew. south central. Vatos could be there now I don know. jus sayin.
Had friends or I wouldn't even go there alone. Hard, hard place mon. Hard.
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Captain...or Skully
Gym climber
Where are YOU from?
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:22am PT
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Heyyyyyy, Vato, Where you from, Holmes?
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
snowshoe thompson history trail
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:24am PT
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who u tryn 2 get crazy wit ese? don u know i'm loco?
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MisterE
Trad climber
My Inner Nut
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 16, 2008 - 12:32am PT
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I am still trying to figure out Sir Loin's post.
But, on a better note, I understand Skully's!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:34am PT
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You're too hard on yourself, MisterE!!!!!111
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Captain...or Skully
Gym climber
Where are YOU from Holmes?
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Dec 16, 2008 - 12:36am PT
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Ol' Sir Loin's stirrin' the pot......makin' sure it doesn't stick....
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JEleazarian
Trad climber
Fresno CA
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Dec 16, 2008 - 01:38am PT
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I'd seen the first half of the joke years ago, but the last paragraph is new -- and has my wife and I in stitches. Only problem: we're both recovering from bad colds, it hurts to cough, and laughing makes us cough.
Thanks, anyway!
John
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Dec 16, 2008 - 10:11am PT
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Shouldn't the stores have a posted
return policy?!
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Jingy
Social climber
Flatland, Ca
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Dec 16, 2008 - 10:51am PT
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oh man....
Mister E - That's just friggin funny!!!
But true, nonetheless!!!!
HAHAHAHA
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Dec 18, 2008 - 02:09am PT
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Southern-style marriage counseling:
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife - she ain't spoke to me in over two months."
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "Better think it over...women like that are hard to find."
Which brings to mind a somewhat related joke: The problem with southern Baptists is either that they held their head in the water too long, or not long enough.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Dec 18, 2008 - 05:10pm PT
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| Messages 1 - 18 of total 18 in this topic |
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