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Luke
Novice climber
Gunnison, CO
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Topic Author's Original Post - Oct 29, 2001 - 02:10pm PT
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Yo what up peoples. The Black Canyon National Park contains Colorados biggest and scariest walls, it also contains
many hidden gems that have descent quality rock, now that Robbie Williams has published a guide for this area
the SECRET is out, this place rocks. It is one of the most remote climbing areas in the lower 48 and is now a destination
for some of the top big wall climbers such as Topher Donehue and Brent Armstrong. THe rock or weather is not as
good as the Valley but the lack of crowds definately makes up for that. SO anyway would you rather climb in the
Black on a wall and feel the solitude and fear or go to the Valley and enjoy wonderful rock as well as alot more people
(which are usually wonderful as well). Comments...... my comment is I'd rather climb in the Valley but the black is pretty much
in my backyard, so i climb in the black. Any routes that compare in the two places? I'd say Casually off-ROute in the
Black compares with Nutcracker, but i'm just a novice.
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King Cobra
Novice climber
anywhere but the black
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 31, 2001 - 01:07pm PT
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OK, first off the black sucks! Loose rock, no rescue, no water, no bolts, lots of poison ivy so you can't get jiggy with your girl/boy after the climb. IF you make it back to camp before midnight that is.
The valley...beautiful rock, beautiful woman, cheap malt liquor, sunny weather(that you can see coming in before it is raining on you with no rain jacket).
While amazing climbers have been going to both places for quite awhile (Kor tore the sh#t out of both of them). I see a tendency for good climbers to gravitate more towards Yosemite.
Topher climbs anywhere he wants, not just the black.
WHO THE HELL IS BRENT ARMSTRONG?????
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Raw Dog
Novice climber
Just lost in America
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 31, 2001 - 05:18pm PT
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Who cares?
Yosemite, the Black, Rock, ice. Who cares man? I'll climb it all. I've been to the Black and Yosemite and there's no comparison to be made. First and formost there's no women in the Black (perhaps all the ladies out there could prove me wrong). King Cobra has a point about the malt liquor thing. We only drink wine coolers in the Black. In the Black we'd be more likely to compare a jaunt up the cruise to....say After Six.
All in all I'm pretty sure nobody really gives a sh#t about this comparison. The Valley will always be the place to go.
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Burt
Advanced climber
Crawford, CO
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2001 - 10:02am PT
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Who in the hell is luke!!! Has he ever been benighted with a hot chick in the Black???? I have?? Sorry to say but there is a plethora of buck toothed babes in the black, come on down and join us and all the family. We have plenty of King Cobras and wine coolers. Just wonderin' about the wine coolers, I drink moonshine. I guess all you boys from the valley can't hang with the real babes much less the inbred A5 soldiers. Aw f*#k it anyway
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Ranger Joe
Novice climber
Crawford
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2001 - 10:04pm PT
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yes good points on the black boys, its in the middle of nowhere there are no chicks (well maybe a few) and
the rock pretty much sucks. No i haven't ever been benighted in the Black with a hot chick, raw Dog but hopefully
my day will come, all i hope is that i never get benighted with you. One more thing the raw dog was wrong about
though is the rescue, there is a team that pulled off a couple epic rescues down there on the N.Chasm Wall but
i heard it was a bunch of punk ass college kids at Western State. Well see everyone in the Valley and probably
not in the Black.
Ohyeah i met that Brent kid too and i'd definately hide my girlfriend from him:)
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Keepin it real
Intermediate climber
I'm not sure anymore
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 2, 2001 - 01:05pm PT
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To all my thugs out there,
Could we all just stop talking about this "valley" place. We know it's just a bunch of girlies that hang there. If you are interested in hangin with the real gangstas you would look no further than the Black Canyon. Deep within this gaping gash of love you will find cracks to jam your fingers in, flakes to pop, heads that blow and all the other sorts of erotic happiness us wally boys look for. The lack of women in these parts only makes us harder, if you know what I mean. I'm sure the A5 inbred soldier does. Or should I call him "Handy"?
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rock jock
Novice climber
yosemite, colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 5, 2001 - 02:43pm PT
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I wanted to pass on a bit of information to the folks that climb in the black especially sinquensu ocho, that is that I sh#t bigger than you and the black canyon!!!
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BrentA
Novice climber
here and there in colorado
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...will the real slim shady please stand up...
So I don't know where to start with this one, I road trip for four days and all heck breaks loose on the message board, with heavy slander directed at my favorite crag and myself.
First off, thanks for the shout out Lukester! One day I will loose the bigwall stigma. The Black is primarily free climbing, and if it once WAS an aid route Johnny Copp, Topher, or Mike P. are going to pass you running down a gully and simul climb up these old aid lines laughing the whole time. I haven't met too many inbred A5 soldiers down there, and believe me I have looked. Besides we all know there is no A5. LUckily the valley syndrome of stopwatches and one upping times hasn't reared its ugly head down there too much yet, but I suspect it is only a matter of time.
I have been beighted with the raw dog, and this prompted my single push mentality as I hope never to sleep next too or near him again. But I have to agree...what comparison. I have spent time in both areas and they offer completely different buzzes. After my first lap up El Cap I spied the Black for the first time and about pissed myself. The ambiance, demons, and commitment are at a much higher degree than in Yosemite. The beers are much cheaper in Yosemite, the eye candy better (the only hotties I've ever seen in the black are the ones I brought with me), weather btter. I personally consider zyosemite a learning/training area. After I cut my teeth there I movedx on to other areas.
One of the best evolutions of my climbing life ccame the day I learned to leave the second rope and all the other bullcrap on the rim and just CLIMB!!! They have been doing that for decades in the Black.
Stay in the valley!!! Few people who come to the black ever return to climb there, and those that do are often twisted and demented in ways seldom viewed outside Colorado.
In regards to hiding your women from me...THIS WOULD BE GOOD BETA!!! In all seriousness, if I didn't smile at you too it is probably because you were a jerk. Anyone who knows me well, or ANYONE who has ever tied in with me can attest to the fact that I'm a pretty "typical drunk bastard" who is a lot of fun to hang with, and a really good guy to hand the rack to with the sun going down and no water left.
The valley is a vacation, the Black is an adventure!!!
I hope I never see any of you down there!
Sincerely,
White Devil
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Ken
Advanced climber
Neptunes, CO
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 6, 2001 - 11:23am PT
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The pages in my guidebook keep falling out! What kind of fly by night outfit put this book together. Where are the black canyon supertopos? How am I suppossed to tell what gear to take up with me on lead. I can't even tell where most of these piles begin in the canyon?
My girlfriend gave Mr. Williams her phone # the other night, and rest assured I will have my vengence. Who would worry about that Brent kid stealing their honey, he's balder than a cue ball.
Supertopos and stopwatches for all the inbreds!!
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Robbie
Novice climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 6, 2001 - 01:34pm PT
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To all my friends who have spent the past week wasting their time slandering each other here, you guys should get out of the bar and go climbing. Oh yeah Ken or should I say Brent the date with your girlfriend last night was great! You should have told me earlier she was so great in bed! If you spent more time at home and less time getting benighted with Ryan, she wouldn't have to come looking for me. Ryan, I guess Megan is next on my list.
On a serious note to anyone whos pages have fallen out of their guide book I am truly sorry. We are reprinting all the books now. In a few week we will have all new books. You can return the old ones to the store you purchased it from, for a new book, or email me at climbingtheblack@hotmail.com and I will send you a new book as soon as I get the reprints.
Thanks,
Robbie
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Ryan
Intermediate climber
Colorful Colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 6, 2001 - 01:40pm PT
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Dude!
Stay away from Meghan. You don't even know how to spell her name. B-rads chicks are always easy to steel so just stick to them. I hear he's got this new one named Bonnie that we should all be lining up for. She's fine and we're in there as soon as she sees his bald ass head. And by the way somebody needs to come up with a new topic. We've worked this Yosemite vs. The Black thing to death.
Get the hell out of the computer lab and go rub your rock .
I'm outeeeeee!
The infamous Rye Guy
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Brent
Novice climber
Colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 6, 2001 - 02:16pm PT
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You chimps know I always kick down once I'm done with 'em. I guess you can slander a man's woman around here, but not his guidebook.
I think we have spurned a new topic with the adventure climbing area guidebook topic.
Odd how none of the Cali boys chimed in on this one.
Well since Ry-guy is now in a new "super model" harem I guess we won't be benighted anytime soon.
To all my chimps, friends and mountain thugs...
Piss off! keep thuggin, and I'll bring the wine coolers.
On the DL but still in your hearts,
B
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andy@climbingmoab
Big Wall climber
Salt Lake City
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Sep 20, 2005 - 04:50pm PT
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this thread is a gem.
easiest route is maiden voyage for sure.
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bringmedeath
climber
la la land
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Sep 20, 2005 - 05:00pm PT
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HAHAHAHA, radical all those guys are still here!
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BrentA
Gym climber
estes park
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Sep 21, 2005 - 01:48am PT
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This is some funny stuff. I will have to forward this thread to Ryan. Few seasons back...this was some funny stuff.
I hope I never soften, even in my coffin,
Brent
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Original Wookie
Trad climber
Colorado Springs, CO
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So one day at work I decide to check up on an old friend and see if he has found his way into any new stories..... and what do I run across! Very interesting reading.
Even though these entries are old, some very old... I feel like one (didn't know you were such a hound dog) of Brent's old girlies out to say hi. So to Ryan, Luke (met you once) and of course B dog himself - how the hell are you? Hope life is treating you all well. Ryan, last I heard you had found the woman of your dreams, hope that is still true. B - mom asked about you not long ago and sends you best wishes (no I am not making that up). Hope to hear you are still climbing and haven't let anyone tie you down (unless it's literal).
Wookie
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smith curry
climber
nashville,TN
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"Descent" quality rock......Too bad it's not "ascent" quality!
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johnboy
Trad climber
Can't get here from there
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Uh,,,,,,,,yea,,,,,,,the Black sucks, please don't go there everybody.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Anybody know any good Dobro player jokes?
;-)
Good to see ya man
But I'd rather hear ya
Peace
karl
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John Moosie
climber
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Hey Smith Curry,
I tink I knoes yous. Are you the dude who plays the Dobro?
If so, we met in Joshua tree about 7 or 8 years ago. It was around thanksgiving. We were camping in Hidden valley campground. We were a group from Yosemite. karl was there. Mark Albosta played the Djembe. Jeffe played guitar and banjo and Chris was also on guitar. I had a set of bongos and a Djembe. You showed up with a Dobro and we had a blast making music.
If this is you, then Howdy.... That was a great trip.
John
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