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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Topic Author's Original Post - Feb 20, 2005 - 09:42am PT
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Ho man. I don't have the time or energy to keep up with you guys. I'll post one story a day, and it should continue for a long time if the thread doesn't get trampled. I missed that last Walt thread completely.
Although I knew Walt for quite a while, I will confine this to one summer: 1984, Chamonix. We stayed in Snell's field, where you could almost tell what month it was by the ever decreasing distance between turds in the woods.
I was 23, the others were a little older than me, but Walt was still well in his twenties.
I was with Duane Raleigh. Walt was with Dean Hobbs. We lived under sheets of visqueen all day. The Germans loved it and called it "The Construction." I think Walt engineered most of it. You could fit a lot of people under it, and we had pinched empty crates to sit on. It was all very civilized compared to the other poor bastards who had to stay in their tents all day.
There were a lot of storms, and you couldn't climb for days sometimes. We would go into town and get hammered.
Story 1:
I was the sucker for booze, so Walt and I would get trashed drinking really cheap wine on a bench right in front of the Post Office. Nobody ever bothered us, although we were such a fixture that the old ladies laughed at us when going by. We started early: mid-day.
Walt and Duane had discovered this beer sold in a butcher's shop that was sort of the French equivalent to Olde E. I think it was Chimay, the trappist ale. Tasted awful, but two or three of the big bottles would do a fine job on ya. A real fine job. On our study of alcohol molecule per franc, it was by far the winner. Duane was raving about its efficiency
So, we decide on a new change of scenery and go to the far end of town where there is a roundabout in the road. Flowers and all that stuff. We sit on this bench and chug our beer and get ripely toasted. Just Walt and me.
Walt says he has to take a piss, but there is no place in sight to hide. Walt spies a phone booth about thirty feet away and says, "Wait right here."
He goes inside the phone booth and picks up the receiver. He starts laughing maniacially and jumping up and down, like somebody on the other end is telling him the funniest story on earth. Of course he is jumping up and down to keep from pissing on himself. A stream of urine runs out of the bottom of the booth and out in the road. Two french girls ride by on bicycles and see the piss, all foamy, streaming out of the bottom of the phone booth. Walt sees them and just laughs harder. They see him there wailing away with one hand holding the receiver and the other obviously holding something else. The booth was metal covered down low, open at the bottom, so he wasn't waving his pecker or anything visible. I was about to blow a vein in my brain it was so funny. He must have let a full gallon go.
I waited til getting back to town before letting my load go.
Next up: Linda Blair doing a 360 with her head and spewing green goo....Walt's response.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 20, 2005 - 09:55am PT
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OK, everyone is still asleep here, so I can tell the Linda Blair story. I wasn't a witness to this, but Duane was, and I had him re-tell it to me for accuracy.
There was this bar in Chamonix that we called the "Video Bar." I think it might have been Choucas or something like that. The beautiful people hung out there, it was always packed, and there were all these TV screens everywhere showing Edlinger soloing in the Verdon, or something else. I never did much more than poke my head in.
One night, Walt and Duane go inside. They are trashed. This night they weren't showing all these videos of extreme skiing or soloing. It was the Exorcist on all screens. Duane and Walt are sitting at a booth. At the part where Linda Blair's head does a 360 and green goo oozes out of her mouth, Walt's eyes rolled back in his head and he slid to the floor like a limp noodle. Out cold. People kind of cleared him some room but paid little attention. Duane patted his face and he woke back up pronto. Duane says he was out for just a little while.
Kind of funny. Duane said that Walt's eyes rolled all the way back and they looked totally white.
Next will be pissing on a steep road.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 20, 2005 - 10:15am PT
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I should have said this straight off, but I forgot. Walt was not always trying to be so funny. He was keenly intelligent, and was very sharp in any argument. Probably one of the smarter people I ever met.
I managed to kind of keep up with him long after I last went to the valley.
I really miss it that he isn't still around. I never met anyone like him.
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nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
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Feb 20, 2005 - 11:02am PT
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classic. What a great way to start a hungover sunday morning. Coffee and Walt stories. Keep them coming.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 20, 2005 - 11:22am PT
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OK. Story 3: pissing on a hill.
Much of Chamonix is built on a hillside. The main street follows the hillside and is flat. The side streets either go uphill or downhill.
One evening, Walt and Duane have to piss. They take off up an alley that goes steeply uphill. Duane just goes around the corner and lets fly. Walt goes way uphill and gets started later.
Duane's foamy urine runs out onto the busy sidewalk. He kind of steps aside and tries to look normal. People on the sidewalk see the piss and look up the alley. Walt is way up the hill, just getting started and is trying to paint his face or something on the wall. To the people on the street, who must be gathering, it looks like there is a prancing, waving, guy way up the hill who has pissed a river and it is now running out onto the street, when in fact the lower stream was left by a now discreet Duane.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 20, 2005 - 11:43am PT
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Oh yeah, Walt had written on his helmet on one side:
"See you in the next world."
The other side said,
"Don't be late!
My introduction to Hendrix.
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Feb 20, 2005 - 11:30pm PT
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Base, Walt was clearly one of the smartest , quickest people I ever met, I never came away from a conversation with him without learning something new, or seeing something I thought I knew in a new light. You could continue a conversation with Walt after a two year interruption, on the same sentence.
T-rain, I don't think it was the sparkle in his eyes as much as how they would look up as if he was seeing something we didn't, just before he would have an epiphany, and start a discourse on something unexpected, and always interesting.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 20, 2005 - 11:55pm PT
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Yeah. I agree with what you said 100%. He was a smart cookie. He was a little distant, but the kind of guy who never forgot you. Friends once and friends for life.
I'll never forget getting an email, and the subject line said "Walt is dead."
I have another story where we hadn't been drinking.
Story 4: We are sober as nuns. Walking into town from Snell's. There had been a huge amount of rain and the small river going through the valley was totally raging. There is this fairly long stone bridge crossing the river and a couple of full grown trees are jammed up against it. If you fell into the thing you would probably be toast.
Walt stops, climbs over the railing on the upstream side and starts climbing out over the jammed trees. He gets way out to where the limbs aren't very stout and starts jumping up and down as hard as he can. He was making all these animal noises, IIRC, and everyone on the bridge stopped and was shocked.
Walt makes his way back and we start walking along. This french guy tugs at my elbow and says, "You had better watch your friend. He is causing trouble."
Only time we even came close to getting in trouble.
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