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BURT BRONSON, THE GREAT
Big Wall climber
HARDMEN LAND
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 10, 2015 - 01:53am PT
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WHILE I TYPICALLY PREFER TO CLIMB BAFFIN ISLAND IN JANUARY, I DECIDED TO TAKE A ONE-DAY SUMMER TRIP UP TO THE ISLAND OF THE NORTH TO SEE IF I COULD FA A NEW LINE. I WALKED TO THE BASE OF SUPERBALANCE, AND STARTED CLIMBING A NATURAL CRACK ABOUT 300 FEET TO THE RIGHT. THE INITIAL MOVES, A SITSTART TO A V10 SLOPER ON A DELICATE ICICLE, LEAD TO ABOUT 450 FEET OF SUB-TIPS CRACK WHICH WENT AT ABOUT 5.13D. UNFORTUNATELY I ONLY BROUGHT A SINGLE RACK WITH ME AND NO BELAYER, SO I WAS ONLY ABLE TO USE THREE PIECES OF GEAR FOR FIVE PITCHES. AFTER AN ADDITIONAL 27 PITCHES OF MOSTLY INTERCHANGING A4-A5 (WHICH OF COURSE I FREE CLIMBED) AND SOME OCCASIONAL 5.14C, I MADE IT TO THE "GREAT MOTHER". THE GREAT MOTHER, CLEARLY NAMED AFTER NO WOMAN, WAS A MASSIVE ROOF THAT EXTENDED ABOUT 900' OUT AND ABOUT 1400' UP.
THE ROOF INVOLVED MOSTLY BACK-TO-BACK V9 MOVES FOR SEVERAL PITCHES WITH THE OCCASIONAL AI9 MOVE OVER THIN ICE, OR FOR GIRLY MEN WHO LIKE TO AID, A5+. AFTER COMPLETING "GREAT MOTHER", I APPROACHED THE LAST AND FINAL PITCH, WHICH OF COURSE WAS THE CRUX. THE MOVE, A 9-FOOT ALL-POINTS-OFF DYNO OFF TWO ICICLE PINCHES TO A SLOPING LEDGE COVERED IN ICE WITH NO GEAR FOR 90' WAS CHALLENGING, BUT I STUCK IT FIRST GO. UPON TOPPING OUT I REALIZED I ONLY HAD 45 MINUTES TO REACH THE GROUND OR ELSE I WAS GOING TO MISS DINNER (WHO CARES, THE WIFE CAN WAIT). ACCORDINGLY, I DOWNCLIMBED SUPERBALANCE (VII M9 AI6) AND WENT ON MY WAY.
WHILE I DID NOT NAME THE ROUTE NOR GRADE IT AS I TYPICALLY DONT, THE LOCALS APPARENTLY NAMED THE ROUTE "EL GRANTIE SUPA BURTA, VIII, M9, AI9, V13, WI10, 5.14C, A5+ (X)." WHICH LOOSELY TRANSLATES TO THE GREAT, SUPER BURT. AS A REMINDER, KEEP CLIMBING MANLY. STICK CLIPS, BOULDERING AND CLIP-DRAWS ARE BEST LEFT TO THE WOMEN.
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jeff constine
Trad climber
Ao Namao
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Sep 10, 2015 - 07:28am PT
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Why are you YELLING your story at the WORLD? No photos or Video, never mind I see you happened to be Trolling..
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overwatch
climber
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Sep 10, 2015 - 07:53am PT
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My ribs, my knee
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Sep 10, 2015 - 07:59am PT
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Good to see burt posting up!
Back when he started I was thrilled to see his posts
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Sep 10, 2015 - 08:08am PT
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AS A REMINDER, KEEP CLIMBING MANLY.
Always good advice.
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Sep 10, 2015 - 08:39am PT
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"Burt" is definitely a MANLY name, for sure, and absolutely.
Therefore I believe everything in this TR.
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matty
Trad climber
under the sea
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Sep 10, 2015 - 09:37am PT
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Not Burt!!! different avatar...fake account...hence "the great" at the end of his name.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Sep 10, 2015 - 09:49am PT
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Looks just like the last Baffin TR he did.
He needs to come up with some new sh#t.
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Sep 10, 2015 - 09:50am PT
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Doesn't matter at all!
With a name of "Burt," the TR HAS to be rock solid. And "Bronson" as a last name. Come ON! ANYTHING claimed in this TR has to be solid.
I'm in awe.
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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Sep 10, 2015 - 10:06am PT
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The real BURT left when we lost Jeff Batten. I think it's pretty lame and disrespectful to try and bring him back. I can only assume the OP is a 19 yr old child who doesn't know any better and will hopefully stop soon.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Sep 10, 2015 - 10:27am PT
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I loved the original BURT. Did not know he was Jeff.
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Lloyd Campbell
Social climber
St. Cloud, MN
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Sep 10, 2015 - 10:30am PT
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THE GUY EVEN HAS A LINE OF BIKE TIRES NAMED FOR HIM!!
IF THAT AIN'T MANLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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Sep 10, 2015 - 10:32am PT
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Brah, back in my day we called it 5.3d HURR HURR
Thanks for the laughs!
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Scylax
Trad climber
Idaho
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Sep 10, 2015 - 10:37am PT
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Sweet! 😀😀
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Sep 10, 2015 - 12:15pm PT
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my chest is hairier.
Good on you, man. Too much awe to go around. For my part, most of my chest hairs fell out. I realize, I'm not worthy.
There's a hierarchy of manliness, with "Burt" at the top, and, clearly, me at the bottom. I just shriveled to the size of, maybe, raisins.
I'm not worthy. I am not worthy.
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brotherbbock
Trad climber
Alta Loma, CA
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Sep 10, 2015 - 02:06pm PT
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I refuse to read ALL THAT CAPS LOCKED BULLSH#T
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Sep 10, 2015 - 03:17pm PT
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You're missing out....
It'll put hair on your chest. Or....
As in my case, take it off.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Sep 10, 2015 - 07:13pm PT
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^ Really? That makes me love Burt Bronson all the more. What am I saying? All females loves Burt Bronson. We just can't help ourselves. :)
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JLP
Social climber
The internet
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Sep 10, 2015 - 07:39pm PT
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No. Long before Supertopo, someone caught BURT and Jeff posting from the same computer, and he confessed. That confession was found and posted here by me a few years ago. I couldn't find the IP address call-out post at the time that prompted him to post his confession. All BURTs since his death have been fakes. BURT was 100% Batten, it was clear to all who knew him. RIP.
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| Messages 1 - 19 of total 19 in this topic |
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