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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 31, 2015 - 05:18pm PT
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I know that it isn't an easy job, and in all kinds of walk in life, you find good and bad.
My late sister Mary was a social worker in Oakland (CA) in the late 1970s to early 1980s, her life threatened, guns pointed at her. At the time it had one of the highest crime rates in the US.
Over here I am dealing with a hard-nosed battle axe, unlike her boss is more caring and understanding.
This SW and have locked horns a couple of times, so we got off to a bad foot.
Then November 5, lying in bed Jennie says she loves me and I replied the same. She got up dressed in fine form and went out with agency carer we get 10-11 M-F. Around 11:40, I get a call (as my head was buried on two writing projects, and did notice notice they did not reurn by 11), from the social worker, Jennie does not want to come home.
We don't row, maybe spat, I have never hurt her (or anybody ever, I am proud of that), what triggered the sudden transition?
Korsakoff's Syndrome (dementia).
She has been my partner and fiancée for close to eight years, I have been her full-time carer for well over 4-1/2 years. And poof, she is gone
The social worker has kept me in the dark for close to three months now.
At the nursing home Jennie is in, she is allowed no visitors, no phones calls (out or in), no letters, no nothing.
My cousin Ann, a respected doctor of psychology in LA, has been giving me some advice, and said that Jennie's isolation would be totally illegal in the US.
She stays in her room most the time, does not mingle with the other residents and is confused as why she is there, where's Patrick, why doesn't he write or visit, she told her closest childhood friend Eileen, who has also now been cut off from Jennie.
Eileen wants to drown the social worker, I just want her off Jenne's case.
Jennie is having her rights violated and denied against the law, to begin with The European Patients' Charter For Ireland.
This issue (crisis and nightmare for me) will run for awhile.
Wish me luck in getting back in Jen's life and being her carer and partner. With all the misfortunes, tragedies and bad luck she has had in her life, being stuck in a nursing home at 63 for the remainder of her life… she will not.
I will get her out to the beach, to the Dublin zoo (we average three times a year, it's a good zoo) as she can watch the giraffes on the Savannah Plains all day.
Thanks for your time people, I need to get that off my chest.
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Reeotch
climber
4 Corners Area
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Jan 31, 2015 - 05:45pm PT
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This is horrible, Patrick. Sounds like you need a good lawyer. I wish I could offer more. You and your Fiancee' are having your rights violated. Unfortunately, she cannot speak for herself, and you have been neutralized as her advocate. The State is in control. It seems that there must be some provision for a third party to act on the patient's behalf.
This just sounds like pure evil!
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 1, 2015 - 01:48am PT
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Reeotch, I'll let the mediation route have its go as long as it can and hope there is resolution.
Lawyers and courts are the very last straw. And as advised by a couple of lawyers, if not approached correctly I will lose and be out of pocket big time. Taking on a government organisation as large as the HSE, with deep pockets and entrenched attitudes wouldn't be my cup of tea.
All the people listening to me say, mediation. I just want to get her away from the nursing home and either into my care or somebody else's who can get her out to the beach and sea and see the giraffes in the zoo, which loves she. Or at least in a gated community where she can get outside and further away from State control.
This may sound like a cliché, but this is all tougher than a 5.11 (my top level back when).
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Jan
Mountain climber
Colorado, Nepal & Okinawa
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Would the situation change if you were legally married? I think it would be much harder for them to make her a ward of the state if that were the case.
I say this from the experience of a friend in a similar situation. Dealing with lawyers and mental illness at the same time is enough to make any sane person crazy. You've corresponded before with the person I'm thinking of. It might be time to send him another email.
I wish you success in a very difficult situation though success is hard to define in such a situation.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, patrick.. so very awful to hear all this...
say, what IS it to the nursing home's advantage to have and keep and isolate HER, there?? can you learn that? would that be a key?
do they get PAID income from government, or from someone, for having
a PATIENT there that needs their 'skilled' help??
it sure can't be for her protection, if she asks for you and her friend--if they were caring for her best, yet, worried, they would:
set up meetings to see just 'what was what' if you had done anything to her, or not...
see if you can learn who is benefiting from this, and see who can step in to
help you...
prayer, will keep praying for you...
and get some other to as well...
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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I ! C! and feel for you
sorry to be short . . . have to go
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Good luck!
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, bump for patrick, in case someone can share any help, here,
as to ideas????
as, he is not in USA, so not sure how we can help...
but--we sure can be i his corner, for
moral support and prayers and best wishes, etc...
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, patrick... just sent you an email...
so, you can look for it...
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 3, 2015 - 01:49pm PT
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Neebee, thanks for your email and your friend's input.
The meeting yesterday was like an off-width… difficult.
Now it may look like I may have to bring in the big guns. And I am not talking about Ronnie Kauk's biceps.
I am talking about the media, I know a lot of journalists and editors in Dublin.
I can make a stink. I would rather not, but going up against the HSE and an anal retentive social worker takes more skill than placing a rurp in a thin crack. Or something like that.
I am trying to keep it climbing related.
I have a mountain to climb.
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Get your media friends involved, ASAP. A simple human interest story that shows how you've been forcibly separated, gives a short and clear account of how this came to be, and thereby shows the deficiencies in the larger system.
Couch it as a "holes in the system", rather than an "evil Nurse Ratchet/evil system" thing. Don't assign motive, just expose the ludicrous nature of it all.
In my experience (in the context of taking on a large govt agency), as the saying goes "sunshine is the best disinfectant", in other words, shine a giant media spotlight on the issues and you will get resolution a lot faster than going through std channels with bureaucrats and lawyers.
Good luck.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Wow. That's a rough situation.
Hang in there the best you can Patrick. I hope you get to be with Jennie soon.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Sounds like something from 50 years ago.
I agree that legal advice is imperative.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Get your media friends involved, ASAP. A simple human interest story that shows how you've been forcibly separated, gives a short and clear account of how this came to be, and thereby shows the deficiencies in the larger system.
Agreed. This is often the easiest way to get results. Even governments are affected by bad publicity.
My sympathies go out to you Patrick. What a horrible thing to have to deal with.
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John M
climber
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Get your media friends involved, ASAP. A simple human interest story that shows how you've been forcibly separated, gives a short and clear account of how this came to be, and thereby shows the deficiencies in the larger system.
Couch it as a "holes in the system", rather than an "evil Nurse Ratchet/evil system" thing. Don't assign motive, just expose the ludicrous nature of it all.
In my experience (in the context of taking on a large govt agency), as the saying goes "sunshine is the best disinfectant", in other words, shine a giant media spotlight on the issues and you will get resolution a lot faster than going through std channels with bureaucrats and lawyers.
this is first class AAA advice. Especially about not making it adversarial.
I thought you were going through the process of getting custodial rights? what happened to that?
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, patrick... you are welcome...
say, i think, too, like you and the others, said:
get it out to the media, exposure on what is bad,
gets folks to owe up, in many cases... or,
get SOMEONE to make sure that they do...
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