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skitch
climber
East of Heaven
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 29, 2014 - 02:49pm PT
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I don't like paying for stuff, I would like to ask that others either give me their climbing gear, or if I'm feeling extra generous (and my mom sends me a few extra dollars this month) I could pay a few dollars for your gear. The items I think I might use:
Big Wall Gear:
-Haul Bag (I think I may climb a big wall some day)
-Hooks (I doubt that I'll use them, but it's good to have around to show beginners the scary stuff I've read about in How to Big Wall Climb)
-Extra Cushy Harness (preferably brand new, preferably purchased within the last week and you are feeling extra generous)
-Port-a-ledge (Have you seen how expensive those things are??? You expect me, ME??? to pay that much for a specialty item??? Come on!!!)
-Poop Tube (I know that I could easily make one out of $5 worth of pvc scraps, but I'm really lazy {too lazy to actually ever need it} but you could just easily make one for me and send it to me, I'll even give you my address, and maybe a $.75 can of pbr if I ever run into you in El Cap Meadow)
-Neck Cover Hat (preferably white, with enough coverage so my neck and ears stay white)
-Aid Climbing Gloves (I have a pair of leather work gloves that they gave me that one day that I worked as a roofer, okay it was more like 2.5 hours before they told me to go home, but I prefer gloves that say Metolius or PMI)
Sport Climbing Gear:
-New climbing shoes (I wear a size 10 street shoe, so you should send me a range of sizes because I'll need a different size for 30 foot, 36 foot and 38 foot climbs so my toes don't have to be scrunched for more than 26 minutes and 45 seconds)
-Sport Climbing Harness (I have a more all-around harness with 4 gear loops, but I'm pretty sure I can finally redpoint a 5.11c if I lost those 2 gear loops and that tag line loop)
-Quick Draws (Preferably the new Petzl Spirits, preferably less than 1 climb on them)
-Trucker Hat (Preferably new with sticker and tag still hanging from hat, must have flat brim and big enough to cover the tops of my ears)
-80m 9.2-9.4mm rope (I would really appreciate a new rope that doesn't slow me down, this 9.8mm 70m rope is holding me back)
Trad Climbing Gear:
-I NEED CAMS!!! (preferably ones that have been used less than 10 times, but have a lot of scratches so people KNOW I'm core!!!)
-TC Pro Climbing Shoes (No foot smell please, and I need size 41.5, 42 and 42.5 in case I decide to do 1, 2 or 3 pitch climbs)
-R1 hoody (Every real trad climber has one, so should I. Please only Patagonia branded ones, no similar knockoff from MEC/REI/EMC)
-Trad Climbing Harness (I need a harness with 5 gear loops, 4 isn't enough for all of the cams I may need up there)
-Trucker Hat (Preferably one with lots of sweat stains so it looks as if I go climbing/outside on a regular basis)
-Set of Twin Ropes (I know you bought a set of these 2 years ago and only used them on 1 climb, so please let me use them once and store them in my parents garage next to my bed for the next 2 years)
Bouldering Gear:
-Crash Pad (Preferably Organic, but I'll consider others, must not have any holes or smashed out foam, also must have neon color theme)
-La Sportiva Solutions (Really close to sending a V4, the only thing holding me back is the color of my shoes, my current shoes are green)
-Beanie/Toque (MUST HAVE NEON PUFFBALL ON TOP!!!)
-Marijuana (For de-stressing between goes, some of these boulders are 12 feet tall!)
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skitch
climber
East of Heaven
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 29, 2014 - 03:07pm PT
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Yeah, i'm hedging my net.
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thebravecowboy
climber
in the face of the fury of the funk
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Jul 29, 2014 - 05:24pm PT
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Wow. You are hilarious.
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Roots
Mountain climber
Tustin, CA
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Jul 30, 2014 - 10:33am PT
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You want free top of the line gear? Best of luck...
HAHAHA this is so Troll
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looks easy from here
climber
Ben Lomond, CA
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Jul 30, 2014 - 11:13am PT
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Over/under on how long it takes the rage-oholics to miss the satire and blow up this thread?
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
extraordinaire
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Jul 30, 2014 - 11:35pm PT
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Add to your list some heavy duty kneepads for while you're sucking dick.
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KabalaArch
Trad climber
Starlite, California
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Jul 31, 2014 - 12:01am PT
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How about y'all slut off?
I've a single BD Ledge w/rainfly - new, and, given the prospects, likely to remain so.
Also 4yardsail: haul bag, "almost new."
Hard currency accepted.
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skitch
climber
East of Heaven
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 31, 2014 - 11:12am PT
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Kabala: What size, brand of haul bag? I've got some currency I could give up. pm me if you want.
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