Craigslist Classic found... read it and weep...

hipster tires
Date: 2010-10-01, 11:09PM EDT

oh snap this a hella good deal we got hipster tires off the chain they red and yellow as f*#k front ones look like new but back ones has a few skids in them because we don't has no breaks because we so raw but you can use them for like a jillion thousand miles use these rubbahs for anything you need besides birth control they so raw oh snap I be holding them right now you need this sh#t it says they are 700cm but that doesn't make any god damn sense because they aren't 23 feet in diameter so some bitch is lying to us but they are 25 mm wide so they roll faster than all yo bitch asses on ecstasy brand is innova and they so fresh because they so colorful they hurt your eyes to look at 15 dolla or best offer for a pair, we got one pair in red and one in yellow hot damn get em while they in season.

Free Cello
Date: 2010-12-13, 7:32PM PST

So my sister gave me this cello a couple years ago. It's a nice cello. Actually, it's a great cello. It's probably the best cello, but I don't really know much about cellos. Also the neck snapped off. Of the cello. So it's really more like 3/4's of a cello, but the other 1/4's still there, it's just not attached. It's kind of like you're getting two cellos, only one of them doesn't have a body and the other doesn't have a neck. But if you stand them up next to each other it's like old times. You could probably fix it with like some music glue or something like that.

She also gave me a cello bag that I can give to you too, now that I won't have a cello. It's a really nice cello bag. You can fit everything in it. Actually, there might even be a bow in the bag, I'm not sure. I don't want you to think that there's 100% a bow in the bag. It's way over there, I can't check right now. But if it's in there it's yours.

If you're like me and you don't know how to play the cello then you could use it as a coin bank. It's hollow and there are two S's on the front that you could drop the coins through. Then when it's filled up you could drop it off of your roof or carry it around like a change purse. Ooh, in the cello bag. It'd be like a cello purse. I'd do it but I'm moving across the country and it won't fit in my car. What else could you do with it. You could saw the front off and use it as a sled. Or give the neck to a baby as like a wizard stick for Christmas. Totally give this cello to someone for Christmas. Or Hanukkah.

Please come get it. I'm in Echo Park. I'd actually go somewhere to meet you if wherever we're going is a cool place. Like the desert or something.

I'm 90% certain the bow's in there.