You know, sometimes eating at your family's favorite middle priced local restaurant can be more satisfying than eating out at the most expensive, in-vogue restaurant where the hoards are flocking. At your dive, you know what's good, you know that the meal will be satisfying. More so than taking a chance on a menu you can't read on food you've never heard of in a setting that doesn't feel like home.


Yeah, that's Tollhouse Rock. Low down (ele. 3,700'), scruffy (lichen and brush), and sometimes downright sinister (runout as hell). But you know what you're getting, and if you go there enough, and sample the menu, you're gonna get what you want and be happy about it. Full. Satisfied.

My nephew Coby and I headed up to Tollhouse early Saturday morning. There was rain on the way and we wanted to get something in before everything got soggy. We could have chosen any number of places, but it's only 3 hours away and he'd never been. So we left at 5:30am and got there at 8:30. Were we the first? Nope... the locals got the early worm on Sunday Morning slab... the Directissima 5.7.


Good fun, but not on our menu for the day. I vowed to return for the favorites, but also to sample some new eats. I asked for some suggestions and got some meager feedback. But they all said the same thing... Art Baker Memorial! So we tunneled our way over to the general vicinity and checked out The Fart 5.6 (Chimney/Liebacking) and Amphitheater Lieback. The Fart looked like a fart. So we chose the A-Lieback. Plus it had a star in the Kroll guide!


Short and sweet. But this short one left me wondering who it had paid off to get the star! Oh well, a good hors d'oeuvre for sure! Stout little 5.6 though.

So we shuffled over to the Art Baker Memorial. It had been pulling us over like a neon sign. Yes yes, the 2nd pitch splitter crack... but what about the first pitch? Looks easy. Let's go!

Yuck! Let's just say the first pitch is the fly in the soup! As I was climbing it, I began to wonder if Art had died on this pitch. That maybe they would change the name to the Art Baker/Tom Slater Memorial. And wondered if they'd just keep adding names to it. This pitch had some potential... to kill someone.
I tiptoed up the boom boom flakes and pillars (because when you slapped them they went "boom boom" and vibrated). Placing cams behind them was all I could do, but dang I did not want to fall on one! Peace of mind pro only... ahhh, but then the good stuff! The second pitch was all it was "cracked up" to be.

Delicious!


Well, I had tried some new items on the menu, like I'd promised myself, now it was time to hit the T'House specials...

Beginners Delight 5.8. The only thing that sucks about this climb is the name. Beginner? I don't see to many beginners doing 5.8 fingertip locks. Afternoon Delight would have been awesome! But oh well... it's still the best crack climb on the entire rock.




My nephew was flipping out on it. It was the best crack he'd ever tasted!

We were cruising right along, but not going too fast to stop and smell the flowers.


We wanted to do one more before we hopped on the main course... the famous Tollhouse Traverse. So we hopped on Beginner's Right 5.7. Yep another "Begginer" route. C'mon guys, you're showing a lack of creativity! Either that or the FA guy's name was Beginner? I wouldn't send a beginner up this one either on lead... no pro for the first 20' or so. But the upper section...



Very good! Unique features... pockets, cracks, and


underclings! Very enjoyable!

We paused to eat, drink, and be merry and watched the fog move in and out like the ocean tide. Hard to beat the local scenery. Sure, it's just the tiny town of Tollhouse, but yeehaw it beats hearing the Valley traffic!


We pause now for a word from our sponsor... Sportiva! (see the sticker on my mini-jug?!). They gave us that for FREE! All we had to do was buy a pair of shoes!

How cool of them! Thank you. Now back to the show...

We had given the party of 4 enough time to clear some granite between us so we started up the Tollhouse Traverse 5.5. Done it about 8-10 times (twice once in the same trip) and it has gotta be one of the best 5.5s in the state.

Fist pitch jamming...


Second pitch... same as the first!


Then the hand crack turns to fingers, then tips, then just seams.


and the 400' crack eventually peters out and you find yourself at "The Move".

Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 3:

Seems like I do it different every time. At 43 years of age, it felt a little harder than last time when I was a mere 42. ("It's not the age... it's the miles")

Not hard, but it's pretty much the signature move on the route. After 400' of fist jams it's nice to get a break. Like a good BURP after a good meal.

So we top out after 90 minutes on the Traverse.


We're on top just as the sun is painting the sky with yellow, orange, red, and purple. We had timed our departure just perfectly. Last ones out. We watched the sky, sorted the rack, took some more pictures and then started back to the car.






We decided to jog... pretending we were Orcs who felt no pain... Coby says... "I smell man flesh" and we laugh and nearly step on a newt...


We check him out and wish him a good evening.

We then head down the hill to Panda Express to fill up some more on something satisfying. We make it a competition and I eat my 21 year old nephew under the table... 3 entrees... BURP!

As we reach the coast it begins to rain. As usual, we made the most of every moment.

Hope you enjoyed the meal, bon appetit!

Tom