Visit on photobucket.com
Well, I was all ready to come home and write up a sweet trip report on climbing half dome's NW face, including with stories of bravado and daredevil whimsy, when I saw this.
Oh.
Much like the comedian that had to follow Richard Pryor I'll do my best, but don't expect much. I'm short, kind of hairy, and did a pretty popular route in about as plebian style as I could. But, it kicked my ass and was the biggest accomplishment of my short climbing career, so I'm super happy anyway.
I'm sure there are a lot of you who can run up this thing in a few hours, just as there are some that perhaps it just might not be a reality to finish it. Well, 6 months ago I was 50lbs overweight and could barely lead 5.7, so little victories are everywhere. Whether its setting a goal in climbing and accomplishing it or raising your children to be good kids, or even being a bit nicer to strangers, its probably better to always keep evolving, or at least give it a shot. Stay in the drivers seat, naw'mean? (I think I stole this phrase from DMT. It is gangster.)
Visit on photobucket.com
This is Lucas. He is 19 and lives in Idyllwild. He is young, strong, and more motivated to climb than I am. These are all good things if you want to get stuff done. Also, not bad to look at. That pays dividends on a long trip.
Visit on photobucket.com
Boom. Don't be hatin'.
We went 'light,' and by that I mean to say we hauled just a lil' bit. That Black Diamond Stubby had 2 sleepings bags, 2 gallons of water, ~4000 calories and a single sleeping pad on the route. Even though it wasn't much, still hauling was a bit annoying. I would recommend rapping from the top and stocking Big Sandy with lawn chairs, beer, and various accoutrement. This will make your experience much more enjoyable.
But that's not why were there. Otherwise I'd be watching TV and eating cheez-its. Which is what I did today.
Visit on photobucket.com
this shows you what the first part of the route is like. Luckily, Lucas lives in Idyllwild, satisfying both my need for hard training days and my fascination with drag queens. A typical day of training would be to get to the parking lot at 9am (don't be hatin'), do 3 routes around 5.8 to 5.10a, then go home. The best thing about that was just the long days, 10 hours of hiking/climbing/descending really prepares you for the mental challenges of doing this route.
Lucas was (is) the better free-climber, so he pretty much took over the first 9 pitches. I did up to the base of the 13th (yes, I aided the C1 variation to the squeeze. My parents taught me a thing or two about self preservation :D). I can tell you only this - those chimneys were pretty serious looking.
Visit on photobucket.com
We're not really good at taking pictures, so here's like, the next one. This is the morning after on big sandy.
I thought I would be all rad and pack a Neo Air for a mattress because it packs so well! However, the mutherf*#k is slippery, and when you're on the bottom ledge... well... it kind of slopes away. I didn't have any issues sleeping on a porta-ledge or the Awahnee ledge, but a few times I would turn over and squeak 6 inches towards Mirror lake. Scawwy.
I took over the climbing for the zig zags. Again, pretty uneventful - lots of yanking on fixed gear and pulling past 5.9 moves (LOLLLL!!!!). After 18odd pitches I just don't feel like freeing anything I can't do in flip flops.
Visit on photobucket.com
{ASIDE}
Alex soloed this? Geezus christ. That's ridiculous. It sounds stupid to say because everyone has said it. But I was scared. In aiders. Clipped to a #2 Camalot. On belay. And I even had my security blanket.
{ASIDE OUT SON}
Hrmm what else.
Well, the Thank God ledge was pretty cool. I crawled across it.
I might be the first person to plank on it too.
Visit on photobucket.com
You can clearly see my toes pointed, hands turned palm up... and if you look at my helmet I am clearly smashing my face into what at some point was where a tourist dropped a snickers bar. But six or so sessions of turning around at Lucas yelling "GET IT YET???" and I think we have decent photographic evidence of this feat.
Visit on photobucket.com
Well, anyway, long story even longer, we topped out. It was super cool. I hate being 'that guy' but I kind of like the hero feeling of topping out next to people and having them say good job. I love answering the first three questions. Unfortunately, as you descend the cables, you realize you get those three questions over... and over... and over again.
Anyone planning on summitting in the middle of a nice July day should have a T shirt made.
1. It took me 2 days
2. I slept on a coffee table sized ledge
3. Not only did I take a dump I can show it to you
Hiking back to the base in TC Pro's to get the big 90L pack and our approach shoes wasn't so bad, but I really don't know why I volunteered. Hiking out was a bitch too, but so are a lot of things, so you just kind of do it. Pizza and beer was the reward, or at least that's how I have to look at it, otherwise I'll have them all the time and look like one of the Fat Baldwins again.
Some notes:
-We really had no room for the approach shoes, but our toes got murdered. I don't know what the right answer is, but prepare for pain jugging in rock shoes. Unfortunately my partner was a size 11 and I have hoofs, so sharing a pair was unrealistic, but again... it sucks, but you just kind of 'do it.'
-Metolius Pocket Aiders were really, really bad ass. I tucked those suckers (edit - almost weblinked a gif of the dude from Silence of the Lambs. You are all welcome) back in and they didn't get in the way of those chimneys, could whip 'em out and aid past that really heinous 5.7 or jug up 4th class with EASE. Very radical.
-We carried a Cam hook, which I only used on the last bolt ladder... was it needed? I'm sure a dude with some actual climbing skills could just tension over to the next little pod and get in what I did, but I never claim to be anything special. Unless you want to see me @ the clubs. Then I'm SUPER special, and in a V-neck.
-Our rack was just about perfect - double set of BD C4's, single set of C3's (could use 2 but not really all that important), single set stoppers and 3 or 4 offset brass stoppers.
-Working hard pays off. Seriously. I trained pretty hard, and I know I can be self deprecating (white people love self deprecation) but I am in very good shape, cardio-wise. We got up to LYV in 1:40, but even then - the JMT route beats the f*#k out of you. Just too much blood in your legs by the end.
Yup, I am bored at my parents house abusing their Washer and Dryer, so you get a pretty long winded trip report. If you don't have dayquil or a warm glass of milk this might help you get to sleep tonight, at least you should be dreaming of the rad@@@@@ instead of Kate Upton. Or should you.....
.....
or are they both the rad@@?
These, my friends, are lands of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You just crossed over into the twilight zone.
Visit on photobucket.com
Squirrel got into the planking thing too - DON'T BE HATIN'!
