"Manhood begins at 150 and above. Until you're 150 you can call yourself 'no man.'"~Guy With the Animal Nickname

Maybe it was the months of 60 hour work weeks. Or living at sea-level. Or less than infrequent visits to the Crème brûlée Cart. Never mind, I'd finally cleared the magical threshold. Clearly this was the time for another visit to Bugaboos.


What I lacked in advanced training (I'd only gone cragging three times in the previous six months) my partner more than made up for. Behind the Orange Curtain resides an elusive breed of torque horse. My main climbing partner of many, Rick possess the uncanny ability to simply go and go. A few years back I barely kept up as he cranked through a birthday challenge at Joshua Tree, climbing 53 pitches, fueled entirely on diet Coke and a day old apple fritter. Yes, he's a chemist; no, he won't teach you to cook meth. Beast Mode doesn't even begin to describe Rick, and yet I'm still not entirely sure that he owns a real sleeping bag.


With seven days at the Kain Hut, fifteen minutes of rain, and 50+ guidebook pitches we came pretty darn close to finding the Bugaboo state of mind.

Day 1 UP: NE Ridge of Bugaboo Spire DOWN: Kain Route






Six years prior I'd FUBARed the descent and ended up down-climbing miles of kitty litter stone and executed a bollard rappel by failing headlamp with a partner more freaked out than myself. This year, we made none of those mistakes.


A few hours later we were jockeying for pole position around snacks at the hut.

Day 2 UP/DOWN: West Ridge Pigeon Spire

Best pure fun route in the northern hemisphere? You be the judge.






On the way back to the Snowpatch-Bugaboo col we ran into some hard charging Spaniards coming out of the Howsers. One pair had polished off the Beckey-Chouinard and were literally running across the glacier to get on the Pink Furry Arete while the other pair had done All Along the Watchtower and a day later would jump right on Power of Lard. Red wine might have been a contributing factor.

The other best in show goes to party with the red portaledge working a free ascent of the old aid line on the Tom Egan Wall on Snowpatch.



Tom Freegan?


Day 3 UP: Snowpatch Route DOWN: Kraus-McCarthy

Now, I don't huff ether nor read Danielle Steel novels, but I'd lost all memory of this route from my visit in 2007.






Sure, it's got the classic position and a big wet patch of snow that some nutter once skied, but after getting off route and doing munge battle for an hour, I doubt I'll do this one again.

Day 4: Maxo-Relaxo

Stay tuned for part deux. Spoiler alert, it involves this guy


...and this guy


Part two can be found here.