The cast of characters was finally arranged. For the first act we have... ::drumroll::

Cocaine Enraged 'Riod Bear!!: Our Fearless Point Man (but without the cocaine or 'riods)
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He has never used chapstick and watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking

And Me: Seriously, How The F*#k Did I Get Here???
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His organ donation card lists his beard. He's a lover, not a fighter, but he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas.


The stage was set for a fantastical, whimsical, nonsensical trip down the Eastside, sampling the tasty locales we had yet to experience. So off we go!

First up was a few warm up days with Bear in the Sonora Pass area. The initial stop is this little slice of heaven, Burst Of Brilliance, 5.9:
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(look at the top of the tree on the left and you will see the dihedral we climbed on the second pitch)

And can you beat the scenery??
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Anyway, I claw my way up the first pitch and Bear tackles the second, an interesting stem and jamming conundrum with a unique undercling handjam highstep in the middle. ROAAAAARRRRRRR!
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Walkoff and move shop over to top rope an .11d overhanging hand and fist crack called Fracture Clinic.
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This climb was overcome using the well known and venerated Donkey Punch Jam, deep forearm jams in an overhanging section at the top.

The next day was over to some perfect jamming cracks like Hand Burglar 5.9, Big Mac 5.7, and Whopper 5.7; all at the appropriately named Hamburger Rock...
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Then up to the actual Sonora Pass area for a quick romp on A Girls Best Friend 5.9 (I imagine named after the diamond shaped rock you undercling around and up)...
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At this point our journey takes us over Sonora Pass and down the 395 South for a evening bivy near the approach to Granite Basin Area (home of the infamous Hair Raiser Buttress). Along the way our keen eyes and sense of direction leads us to this undocumented (though thoroughly explored, I am sure) area. If you feel like sharing I would love to hear more about this area:
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Obligatory evening sunset shot at the bivy:
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Now we get to the good stuff! Todays adventure for Bear and Cat is Granite Basin. ::drooooooooolllll::
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Bear and Cat have already clawed their way up the Hair Raiser Buttress several years ago, so this trip the objective is the East Face, home of Clevenger Route 5.9. A note about the East Face. It is INSANELY HOT RIGHT NOW! Do yourself a favor and arrive here ready to climb around 3pm this time of year, shade for the rest of the day. You may thank me now for this tidbit of info. This would also apply to the Hair Raiser Buttress.

One more tidbit of info about the Clevenger Route. If this route's first pitch is 5.7 then I am the most pathetic cat to ever paw his way up it! The crux is listed as a 5.7 traverse under a roof near the top of the first pitch and that was the easiest and most fun part of the pitch. The true crux comes lower down, just after All Along The Watchtower branches off right. You must ascend a steep, insecure and thin crack that will open your eyes. Both myself and my partner thought it at least 5.8 if not 5.8+. Also beware of the evil thorn bush halfway along the traverse at the top of the first pitch. I have a couple battle scars from that bastard! Top of the first pitch
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Our route ascends through the roof on the left of the picture here.
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Bear, raging his way through the 5.9 roof:
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Looking down the roof:
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Victory at the top:
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After making our way down, we hid under a boulder for a couple hours during siesta to wait for the shade to cover the East Tower area where we tackled Deadline 5.7. It is probably advisable to chop this route into two pitches. Looking up my second pitch:
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Anchor at the top:
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A quick walk and rappel (down an AMAZING looking water chute called Tube 5.9)
led us back to the car and back on the road. A well deserved dip in the Hot Tubs was the top-off for the evening. The next day was over to Patricia Bowl for some classic high altitude crack climbing. Note about Patricia Bowl in July, this place gets shade almost the whole day! PERFECT summer crag. Here is an approach shot of the Patricia Spires (good luck hiking to those!)
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High Sierra goodness:
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Patricia Bowl Proper:
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Patricia Bowl Lake:
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Bear had already climbed here before and ticked some of the classics so we headed to the Right Tower area for some sweet cracks like Dirty Girl 5.9, What'shisface .10d, I Had A Dream .10b and What'sherface .10a.
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Climbers on Boi-oi-oi-ing .10a:
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Tommy Boy .10a Sweet hands with a thin stem crux:
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And then there were three! Having finished climbing at Patricia Bowl, our intrepid wanderers meet the third member of their consortium who had just freshly arrived over the Tioga Pass. Behold....

"It Just Got Weird" Owl: Our Inappropriate & Wizened Guide
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He went to a psychic once, to warn her. Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.

Now we have a true team of granite crushing adventurers! After a resupply in Bishop (could that place be any hotter?) and a warm (and I mean buck naked, in the shade, with minimal movement and an ice cold beer in hand kind of warm) bivy, the next day our trio arrives at the base of the Cardinal Pinnacle! Quick note, do yourself another favor and arrive as early as possible to climb here. This formation sees shade all morning long until about 12pm when the sun comes over the pinnacle and throws it's laser beams upon your pale, tender flesh.
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Our goal is the West Face route .10a, a conglomerate of 2 (maybe 3) routes that has some of the cleanest granite I have ever seen! First pitch .10a, the Owl, fresh from sea level sacks up and fires!
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View up the highway:
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Roid Bear nails the second pitch .10a in exquisite style. This is just before the arete traverse at the top of the second pitch:
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And Fraidy Cat gets the AMAZING (and I thought light-weight) third pitch .9. Note, you actually do (as the topo suggests) need hand sized pieces for the belay. However, you do not need to bring extra pieces, just don't use one #2 and one #3 (you brought doubles, right?) over the course of the third pitch and you are fine:
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Such a SWEET crack straight up the face:
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And the fourth pitch .8 chimney is no give-a-way. If you are Warren Harding then you could probably do without the #4 C4 we brought, for this pitch only. Otherwise, you will want it to protect the fall right off the anchors.
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Back to the ground, we hightail it up the highway to the spectacular lake Sabrina:
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Parting shot of the Cardinal as we drove out:
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Back down to the Bishop oven and on the road to Whitney Portal the next day. We originally had our sights set on a Beckey Route but a combination of exhaustion (Bear and I have yet to see a rest day), heat and apathy consigned us to a much easier climb Omer's Route .8, with a .10a roof crack variation low down. You can see the knobs of Omers route in the upper right of the photo, to the right of the rounded corner.
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Bear rioded out on the roof crack, I got the .7 second pitch and Bear tackled the runout .8 on tied off knobs.
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Looking down:
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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
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So after being defeated by our defeatist attitudes we decided to bail on the Portal area and VOWED to come back on a dedicated portal trip. So we bailed down the highway. Still having the fire in my belly I convinced the other two to stop at some bouldering to sate my thirst. Volcanic pocket pulling....Mmmmmmmm.....
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Another stop to the Hot Springs and then a bivy takes us to our final day of climbing. A quick romp up to Tuolumne and Marmot Dome for a quick wind down on Easy Day .5.
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Aptly named Dome:
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Glacier Polish
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The slickest, smoothest 5.7 I have ever lead or even climbed. Period.
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An evening of drinking and debauchery at the lair of Bear and Cat leads us to the final stop of the trip. After all that mountain goodness, what could be better than the best swimming hole in the Sierras? God's Bath:
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I love to read TR's but there is no way I could finish reading this one. If you did, good on you. Climb safe and stay thirsty my friends.

-n

Edit: For got to add random statistics:

Total Gas Consumed (by my vehicle): ~40 gallons
Total Gas Cost: $130
Total Miles: 1,010 Miles
Avg. MPG:~ 25mpg
Bananas consumed: 1
Bananas purchased: 4
Eggs consumed: ~30
Lbs of London Broil consumed: 7lbs
Gallons of water consumed: 18
Green Peppers consumed: 5
Lbs. of Coffee consumed: 1.2lbs
Beers consumed: ummm.....yeah....
Wine consumed: Do I look like a sport climber?