There is Yosemite Valley, the grandest and most accessible of the typical U-shaped glacial valleys in the Sierra. For those that want easy access but less of a scene there are both Hetch Hetchy and Kings Canyon, though the former is not exactly in it's natural state. For those that desire neither easy access nor fellow visitors there is Tehipite Valley, the poor, ignored, dirty little cousin of the family.

These obscure places are what get me excited so I've wanted to visit since long before I started climbing. With the company of Vitaliy, one of the few people I know who is brave (read: dumb) enough to carry loads to such a place in the heat of the summer, I finally made the trip.


Sparing the details on the long walk through the forest, we arrive at the famous view some of you know so well from the internet. Needless to say this is one of the places where pictures to not do justice to the magnitude. From the valley floor to the top of Tehipite Dome is 3,400 feet.

Down, down, down the 65 switchpacks, 3,500 feet of hot unmaintained trail and out onto the spreading valley floor. With each step Tehipite Dome and the surrounding outcrops become more intimidating. If we had the money or the brains, mules would be carrying our burdens.

We pass under the dome, going over stories of it's ascents over the years, from Beckey climbing the upper part to EC Joe going from the valley to the summit to Dave Nettle and friends establishing a behemoth route from the lowest point to the highest.

For some reason we continue past the dome, further up the valley and away from the obvious objective. Because we're brave (re: dumb).

During an unsuccessful scan for the indian paintings we spot it through the trees, the unnamed, unclimbed, unloved formation overshadowed by the dome in a canyon overshadowed by it's relatives. It rises roughly 2,000 feet above the north side of Crystal Creek below the jagged backside of the Gorge of Despair.

Tired and dehydrated we set up camp below. I teach Vitaliy to fly fish and relish the fact that I am better than him at something. Until he hooks two within a few minutes. Dinner is served and we're in bed before dark.

Unfortunately, getting closer does not reduce our apprehensions about what we've gotten ourselves into. Fortunately, Vitaliy's rank farts distract and blur our minds. What, you thought he was smiling because he likes crossing cold rivers in the dark?

We arrive at the low point next to what appears to be a weakness in the expanse of slab protecting the headwall. I take the first pitch and it's quick, fun and clean!

Vitaliy takes both pitches two and three because he is master of the wyde. I personally saw him onsight the big crack at the gym in Fresno! His training turns out to be unnecessary as the crack goes from hands to a clean, sharp lieback.

"Alright, I took two, now you get two. It's ok, it looks like thin slab and face, you're better at that anyway." He says.

Flattery, that's not a good sign.

Up an down, side to side I go trying to find a path that settles into a 5.11 scary traverse to a teeny tiny cam placement to thin face and finally I bolt an anchor to give my heart a break. Vitaliy arrives at the belay and I hope he forgot about our deal until he starts handing me the gear. Crap.

The next pitch turns me into a hypocrite. I go straight up off the belay and place a bolt from a decent stance. Then I go up, right, left, left again, up right, all the while cursing as the apparent edges materialize into slopers or nothings. 40 feet later there is another bolt. Again I go up, eying a dike that looks like a good stance. The closer I get the more difficult it becomes to keep my toes from sliding.

"The sun is about to hit, we better get through the hard slab" Vitaliy echoes up.

I continue and my leg is shaking. No. Another move and it's more difficult and my other leg shakes. NO. Another move and my whole body begins shaking like a leaf. I'm desperately hugging the rock, moving my hand from hold to hold in a panic to find some way onto the dike with the rope going 35 feet down and far to the right.

"NO NO NO NO!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I start to slip. I close my eyes, scream, stand up and slap at the dike as a guardian angel gives me a nudge. Somehow I'm shaking and sweating on top of the dike placing the fastest bolt in the history of man. Thankful.

All said and done the pitch has 4 bolts in 40 meters, the exact thing I bash when talking about first ascents. Hypocrite. The difference here is that anyone is welcome to add bolts to the route. In fact, please do!

Another pitch up and a traverse right and we're on the big ledge that marks the end of the lower slab. We had invested more time and energy than we wanted but the path to the next ledge looks straightforward.

It is, two moderate pitches take us to the huge ledge halfway up and at the bottom of the steep headwall.

We have some emergency bivy gear and water but because we're beat, dehydrated and behind schedule we decide to stash everything and rap down trees to crystal creek and eventually camp.

As we soaked in the views that night our discussion changed from "what's the best line up this thing?" to "is there any possible way up this thing?"

The next morning we discover that our rap route is actually a really fun and fast way back to our high point! Nice consolation!

We hunt around the ledge looking for anything that connects. Eventually we say screw it, we came all the way out here, lets go right up the middle and see what happens!

I take the first pitch and have to stop short due to rope drag, which involves a belay that includes a hook and a nice view of our work the previous day.

Vitaliy takes the second pitch of the headwall with a few very difficult moves that do nothing to slow his stoke!

The following pitch ascends an easy ramp up and right towards a large corner. The only problem is that according to our binoculars the previous day and my pictures from atop Tehipite Dome the corner ends at a blank face. I decide to pendulum around the corner to a more featured area.

For the moment this move appears to pay off as Vitaliy traverses right into a pitch of beautiful cracks and a nice ledge on a tower.

And this is where it ends... I am about 50 feet up on the 5th pitch of the headwall with the summit looming in the distance, past everything I can free climb, on a stance with nowhere to go but down.

We are neither prepared nor equipped to murder the impossible at this blank spot. Time is running low, theres a long way to go, smoke is starting to fill the valley from a nearby lightning fire and my wife told me "not to do anything stupid."

I lower and belay Vitaliy up but he returns with the same conclusion:
-Not enough time
-If we use the few bolts we have on this pitch we won't have enough to bail or continue
-Don't have enough aid gear to follow that path
-Just enough bivy gear and water for an emergency
-Some options are dangerous
-But what about the summit and the glory!?!?!?!?

We rap down into the night, leaving as little gear as possible and second guessing our decision. What if? But maybe?

The litmus test for my decisions in life has, for a long time, been: Don't do what you want to do, do what you want to remember doing. When applied to climbing this usually means sucking it up, suffering, and having some great memories. Should we have sucked it up? Do we want to force something that may not have even been there? Who knows...

The hike out the next day was uneventful in that there were no good events. Smoke, flies, 20.5 miles and 5,000 feet of elevation gain took its toll but when it was over we would not have traded this trip for anything!



Postscript:
I understand that I put this on the internet and that we do not own the route or cliff or anything. However, we are already planning our return to try to figure out a way with the help of more time and resources. We would love to finish this project and climb this wall ourselves. I posted this report because we always post successful trips but that's not the norm and I want to keep it real. We also had a great time and love us some spray! That being said, if you plan to go out there to climb this cliff before us we would love to be invited! If not, let us know how it goes and have fun, jerk! ;)