Ok, if I could somehow work snowboarding in then I would have my perfect trifecta, but I'll take fishing and climbing any day!


I had a super awesome time last week, so if you too wish to attempt the bifecta, here are your instructions:

Pick up a Boyden Cavern tour guide named Nate, then drive towards Kings Canyon and within about half a mile (or less) of Convict Flat Campground locate this drain pipe next to a turn out. (west of convict flat)

Rap from the anchor by the pipe down to the water. This takes 9 raps with one 70m rope, or you can link a few if you make the mistake of bringing a 60m and a tag line like we did.

This is snake sex. Prevent your tag and rope from having snake sex or it will take 2.5 hours to get to the river.

Arrive at the river where few humans ever visit and begin fishing beautiful pools.

Catch so many handsome trout that you get tired of taking hooks out. If your name is Nate, catch the first fish of your life!

Commence refreshing swim.

Peer up the route and think, "I hope this climb is better than it looks." And remember that it's your only way home so you better make it.

Link the first two OK pitches and start to have lots of fun by pitch three, realizing that the underside of the features look gross, but the tops are solid and clean.

Arrive at super nasty looking roof on the fourth pitch and try to convince your partner to lead it because it looks like crap.

Lead through the roof and into a dihedral, all the while be sure to hoot and holler when you realize it's a ridiculously fun pitch! Finish on a right sloping 3rd class ramp and pitch it out to the next anchors to avoid rope drag.

Remember that last time you belayed Nate he took a ledge fall and you had to take turns carrying him for 45 minutes and he is working on getting his lead head back.

Agree with your partner that the previous pitch was probably the crux and encourage him to lead the next pitch to get his head back in the game. Observe him leading what appears to be much more difficult than expected and be impressed that he is committing to the moves (above a ledge).

Watch said partner hang dog a roof and realize that this is in fact the crux. Lower him down and TR up to the crux. Notice that a 5.10b slab is nothing like a 5.10b power move over a roof and accept the fact that you're not strong. Hang once, fall all the way back onto the slab once, stick a dyno and pull to the roof once. Feel like Chris Sharma and smile lots!

Lead another pitch of awesome slab and crack climbing!

Find two runners that you left while rappelling and wish you had with you on the first 7 pitches. Dummy.

Swap leads on the last two pitches that look dirty from below and yet again turn out to be great climbing. Wonder, "why are there no routes on that thousand foot marble face over there? Come on, there have got to be sport climbers that like long approaches, right? That would be a special kind of weird." Consider Vitaliy and Rudbud as special kind of weird and potential partners.

Arrive back at your car and appreciate the fact that if it's a Subaru Forester you're probably awesome (and/or a lesbian).

Enjoy the view that never gets old on your drive out.



We both thought the climbing (and fishing) were great and would do this route again in a second. It was cool being down in a river canyon like that and having to climb out, and also a very committing place to be. The route was 9 pitches with about 50% bolts and 50% gear. Doubles up to 2" would be more than enough, we had more because we didn't know. Some pitches can be linked but you can decide for yourself as you scope it on the rap.


There, now you have the instructions for an awesome day! Follow them exactly, or else...