Trip Report
Canoeing the Colorado River in Candylands
Monday February 6, 2017 7:56am
In the olden days, when winter temps in Gunnison hovered around 20 below for months on end, spring break saw hordes of college kids fleeing to the deserts of southeastern Utah. Typically, this involved camping, beer, and walking around in the desert with skin exposed that hadn’t seen the sun since autumn. One particular spring break, after the usual desert silliness around Moab, Michael Bain and I remained in the desert, but asked the returning hordes passing through the town of Cimarron to tell Jimmie Newberry to bring the canoe, more food, more beer, and meet us on the potash mine road. This would be back in the day when things we knew nothing about often sounded like really great ideas. We had a boat, paddles, food, and beer, but no shuttle, no map, no knowledge, and no plan. What could possibly go wrong?

Jimmie duly showed up and we put in on the Colorado River west of Moab near the potash mine. The weather was warm and we had no agenda to speak of, so we tended to eddy out early and often to go wandering up every side canyon we saw. Typically these places had seen only beavers and herons as visitors, so getting past the tamarisk and willows along the shore often entailed crawling on our bellies like reptiles, all good wholesome fun when you have the knees and back of a twenty-year old.

top left corner top right corner
The Colorado River through Canyonlands, downstream of the potash mine.
The Colorado River through Canyonlands, downstream of the potash mine.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner

All of this wonderful “back-to-nature” activity made us pretty filthy so we eddied out at a nice little sand bar to wash the crud off. Raised on Tarzan movies as a kid, I was always on the lookout for “quicksand” but the best we could find was some moderately slow sand that we could actually sink up past our ankles in. Still, it was all great grand fun defying gravity in non-traditional ways.

top left corner top right corner
Discovering “gravitational anomalies” along the Colorado River.
Discovering “gravitational anomalies” along the Colorado River.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
The lads clean up their act.
The lads clean up their act.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
Farther down the river, deeper into the canyon.
Farther down the river, deeper into the canyon.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner

All of this farcing around was exhausting work and we camped early. Camping in the desert wilderness is hard work. There were tents not to be set up, flat sandy sleeping spots not to be cleared off, and hours of searching for firewood not to be done. Fortunately, we were young and tough and equal to the challenge.

top left corner top right corner
The rigors of surviving a night out in the wilderness are not to be un...
The rigors of surviving a night out in the wilderness are not to be underestimated.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner

The second morning on the river dawned sunny and beautiful. We continued on paddling gently down the stream, serenaded by the music from Jimmie’s flute. The melodious echoes off the canyon walls were often accompanied by birds responding to the song from Jimmie’s flute. Often I have marveled at the special magic evoked by playing flutes, penny whistles, and recorders in the desert and listening to the birds’ call and response. Day two involved a few additional river miles travelled and an abundance of side canyons explored.

top left corner top right corner
Jimmie playing his flute as we paddled down the Colorado River.
Jimmie playing his flute as we paddled down the Colorado River.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
Michael not working too hard to get us down river.
Michael not working too hard to get us down river.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner

At the second nights camp site we faced a growing dilemma. Since we had no real idea of what awaited down river, but had heard rumors of a raging river of death in Cataract Canyon, we thought it might be a good idea to avoid venturing too much farther into the unknown. Since we had neglected to take a map, arrange a shuttle, or develop a plan much beyond the opening of the next beer, we thought that perhaps we should turn around on the third day and paddle back up stream. Up to now the river had been gentle and we had been aided in our trip by a current going the same direction that we were. However, that same “gentle” current was a relentless force in its opposition to our progress going back up stream and we soon realized that we might be overmatched. We settled on a plan to paddle furiously upstream from one sand bar to the next, then get out and pull the canoe whenever the water was shallow enough to do so. We thus paddled from point bar to point bar and taking advantage of any local upstream eddy we found. This allowed us to walk in the shallows pulling our boat for 2/3 to ¾ of the distance from our put-in to our turn around spot. Although the first two days had been idyllic floating, that third day was a death march of epic proportions. It is amazing what you can learn about river hydrodynamics when you attempt to paddle against the prevailing current. That evening we ate enough Mexican food in Moab to feed ten men before continuing our drive home to Gunnison.

top left corner top right corner
One of the many sand bars we used on our journey back up the Colorado ...
One of the many sand bars we used on our journey back up the Colorado River.
Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
The ever-so-gentle appearing Colorado River in the upper portions of C...
The ever-so-gentle appearing Colorado River in the upper portions of Canyonlands. Gentle reader, do not be deceived. The river, like time, flows in only one direction.


Credit: Nick Danger
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Post script: In the ensuing years I have paddled thousands of river miles and successfully avoided paddling even one mile upstream following this particular adventure. This past summer Michael Bain paddled across the River Styx after a life filled with backcountry adventures. R.I.P Michael, you are greatly missed and fondly remembered. Jimmy and I remain best buds, and hope to paddle (downstream) again one of these days.

  Trip Report Views: 1,713
Nick Danger
About the Author
Nick Danger is a ice climber from Arvada, CO.

Comments
ydpl8s

Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
  Feb 6, 2017 - 08:09am PT
I have often thought that foolish neophytes have the most fun. Maybe that is why I spent so much of my misspent youth (and a lot of that time was with you Bob(Nick)) trying to get stupider.

Wish I was exploring those side canyons with you, Jimmy and Michael right now.

Sublime Bob.
Moss
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
  Feb 6, 2017 - 08:56pm PT

Nekked pictures on the Taco Stand!!!!

my, my, my!!!

Did you ever canoe the Desolation canyon of the Green?
jeff constine

Trad climber
Ao Namao
  Feb 6, 2017 - 09:16pm PT
You are old ;) ^^^
OlympicMtnBoy

climber
Seattle
  Feb 6, 2017 - 09:30pm PT
Haha, oh for the good ol days eh? In that late 90s when I did this on spring break we were able to catch a reasonably cheap jet boat to carry our canoe and us back to Moab. Sounds like we missed out on part of the fun. Man those side canyons can be cool though!
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Feb 7, 2017 - 02:52am PT
Great Story Nick!
mcreel

climber
Barcelona
  Feb 7, 2017 - 03:21am PT
Canoeing upstream sounds pretty challenging! I once did a memorable day hike, starting at Big Spring overlook, walking down a side canyon to above the confluence, floating down the river sitting on a 5 gallon plastic water container, and then getting out at Spanish Bottom, and walking back completing a big triangle with the moon coming up. I recommend the experience. Route's pretty obvious here: https://www.google.es/maps/place/Big+Spring+Canyon+Overlook/@38.1697453,-109.8834947,17001m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m12!1m6!3m5!1s0x8747e1ee4518a6a9:0x15a452a9c502e6aa!2sCanyonlands+National+Park!8m2!3d38.3268693!4d-109.8782592!3m4!1s0x0:0x90836b9df77514bc!8m2!3d38.1782907!4d-109.817276?hl=en
Nick Danger

Ice climber
Arvada, CO
Author's Reply  Feb 7, 2017 - 06:01am PT
SteveW I've had my sights on Desolation Canyon for years, and practically every boater I paddle with has done it, but every time one of their trips comes up I have some stupid family or work commitment - very frustrating. Have done Labyrinth Canyon from Green River to Mineral Bottom a bunch o' times though, flat water but beautiful scenery. Got caught in a flash flood from a side canyon on that section once - that was interesting. Paddling through a flotilla of uprooted cottonwoods is just weird.

Jody, growing older is required but growing up is optional. Also, common sense is vastly overrated.

Mcreal, you da man, floating on a 5 gal. water bottle! Great loop trip, though, I might hafta give 'er a go.
NutAgain!

Trad climber
https://nutagain.org
  Feb 7, 2017 - 03:26pm PT
Nice stuff! This is getting my brain spinning thinking about where to explore with the inflatable kayaks this summer.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
  Feb 8, 2017 - 12:29am PT
hey there say, nick...
wow, neat neat river stuff! good share...
thanks so much for thinking to do so...

good shares like this, get lots of other
folks to open up and share their adventures,
when they may not have thought of them, as of recent...


thanks again...
good to you here, too, jody...
happy good eve to all!
Bad Climber

Trad climber
The Lawless Border Regions
  Feb 8, 2017 - 06:10am PT
Excellent, Mr. Danger. Time well spent. Adieu to Michael. Our friends live on in our dreams--and great TR's like this.

BAd
Prod

Trad climber
  Feb 8, 2017 - 09:52am PT
Cool stuff!

Here's one of me canoeing a different part of the Colorado River.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06c8Wjv75hc

Hermit Rapid April 2004 18,000 CFS.

Cheers,

Prod.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Feb 8, 2017 - 08:35am PT
Awesome!
Nick Danger

Ice climber
Arvada, CO
Author's Reply  Feb 8, 2017 - 11:42am PT
Jody,
I have always wanted to paddle that section of the Colo R below Hoover, and plan to do it fairly soon.

Prod - Gnarley dude! The Colorado River looks like chocolate milk in that video, must have been a heck of a run-off event there. So how badly did you get maytagged in that one?
Nick Danger

Ice climber
Arvada, CO
Author's Reply  Feb 10, 2017 - 06:43am PT
Prod,
I didn't mean to sound disrespectful of your Hermit Rapid footage, you are clearly a much more skillful whitewater (brown water??)paddler than I am. Were I to try that section in any of the boats I currently use it would be like putting a kitten in a sand pale and launching them into a water oblivion - might be entertaining to watch but the kitten would hate it.
-Nick
Go