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John M
climber
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Dec 13, 2012 - 09:29pm PT
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I got a real good case of the f*#k its right now.
Man.. do I know about that. Dealing with a pretty severe case myself.
Only thing I can think to say is .. Just don't drink.
I wish that I could offer more, but thats all I have right now. I don't have a problem with drinking anymore. I did at one time. My problems are.. well, I don't really want to say right now, but if you have read the taco for long then maybe you have seen some of my history. What I do know is that drinking created more problems then it helped.
And damn.. you have 3 great ladies rooting for you. You must be doing something right.
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slodog
Trad climber
ontario canada
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Dec 13, 2012 - 09:29pm PT
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one day at a time-keep it simple-and quit hanging around the liquer store.you wouldn't hang out at a barber shop unless you wanted a hair cut.
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bergbryce
Mountain climber
California
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Dec 13, 2012 - 09:32pm PT
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8 years? Don't throw that away man.
Support and fellowship coming to you from California.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Dec 13, 2012 - 09:51pm PT
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Grab a soda or nice juice, T2. Sometimes that little bit of sugar curbs the urge. Good for you for talking about it too. Talk is good - drunken talk, not so much!
About the "barber shop" thing - the best variation I ever heard was "If you hang out with bank robbers, eventually you'll find yourself driving the getaway car." I loved the Bonnie and Clyde era imagery that came to my mind when I heard it the first time - but I don't wanna be in that car, driving OR being driven!
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Dec 13, 2012 - 09:54pm PT
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Hey T2, been there. Sorry to hear that you're there now.
Take it a minute at a time if you have to, but please don't pick up that first drink - that's the one with the drunk in it.
Pick up the phone instead, call someone or hit a meeting if you can. You can get through this.
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Dec 13, 2012 - 11:09pm PT
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Hang in there...hang in there...
Santa Cruz checkin' in
Susan
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Dec 13, 2012 - 11:12pm PT
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T2 - I always remind myself that there ain't nothing out there that a drink wouldn't make 10x worse.
Hang in there man. Sending anti-f*#kit vibes your way.
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T2
climber
Cardiff by the sea
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Dec 13, 2012 - 11:49pm PT
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I am my own worst enemy. I can create a total sh#t storm in my head way to easy. I got to a meeting, between that and now you guys I will get through today. I am home and i'm just going to go to bed I appreciate the love you guys! My sobor date is 12/24/04, but today for some reason was as tough as any I have had. I will however put it behind me here in a few. I have been complacent, not going to regular meetings, first holiday season living on my own (after getting divorced) financial distress yada yada bla bla bla ...... Whatever!
Bottom line its nothing a drink would change anyway. Thanks again for you concern and support that is what I needed.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Dec 14, 2012 - 12:00am PT
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First holiday alone after getting divorced?! DUDE. You should be at motherf*#king Defcon 5. Use the Force!
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Dec 14, 2012 - 01:41am PT
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"Once upon a time you was a cucumber.
Now you's a pickle.
And you can't never be a cucumber again....."
There's some funny sh#t at meetings!
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Dec 14, 2012 - 09:37am PT
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From Seamstress June 2012
Many years later, the unseen liver damage is now apparent. A wild youth topped with piles of tylenol led to cirrhosis, hepatitis, and liver cancer. Not curable. Not a candidate for transplant. I watch them cry about missing the golden years together. I watch his daughter cry that Daddy won't be around to walk her down the aisle. I watch his son wonder if Daddy will live to see his high school graduation or Eagle Scout ceremony.
My late brother Mac, my closest brother, died on May 18 of liver cancer. What caused it? Hard to say but my oldest brother, Casey, who after retirement volunteers to be chairman of the Teamsters Northern California Substance Abuse Committee, says that people who have had cirrhosis of the liver have a 34 times more likely chance of contracting liver cancer.
Mac, by peer recognition, was one of the top winemakers in the world. He eventually stopped (still tasting but spitting out, that's all that is needed, one does need to swallow to know what makes a fine wine), but only after his cirrhosis. The liver can take a lot of abuse, but then only so much. In industries like winemaking (also brewing, spirits etc) alcoholism is an occupational hazard.
I miss Mac. My partner Jennie, her dementia (Korsakoff's) was caused by alcoholism. I am living with it every day.
Moderation. But sometimes it is too late.
Good luck and best wishes to all Taco Standers.
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newmexico
Social climber
Inside my head
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Dec 14, 2012 - 11:50am PT
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Tommy T,
I am in Carlsbad, at prAna looking at one of our very first posters...It's a photo of YOU hanging in a porta ledge. sending you strenght from So.Cal man.
JL
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10b4me
Boulder climber
Somewhere on 395
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Dec 14, 2012 - 11:55am PT
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Hey T2, stay strong.
Think bout the good times.
Get out on that sweet mountain bike you built.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Dec 14, 2012 - 11:56am PT
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Don't know why, but I found that one of the most UNfunny Robin Williams things I've seen.
Too much truth, not enough funny.
Still useful maybe.
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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Dec 14, 2012 - 11:57am PT
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Tommy, My dad's sobriety date is the 21st. I think Christmas helped bring him to his rock bottom back then. It's hard for a lot of us for a variety of reasons. Hopefully, you'll find the fellowship that will help you stay the course through the season, however many meetings a day, however far you have to drive to find them it takes. I'm rooting for you.
Patrick, I'm sorry to read about your brother. My dad's first sponsor was an 80 year old man with 40 years of sobriety. And when he died after all of those sober years it was still from liver cancer. I guess he hit the bottle harder than most when he was at it, and I have to wonder how fast it would have caught up with him if he hadn't stopped. I wasn't even born when he got sober, but I sure did get to see him help a lot of people change their lives for the better as a sober old man.
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Kenygl
Trad climber
Salt Lake City
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Dec 14, 2012 - 12:38pm PT
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tough time of year for the warriors among us. Family, lack of family, parties, loneliness, "Others can drink why can't I", etc, etc. Hang close to your sober friends if you got 'em. Or find a sober haven. Hang tough during the holiday's ya'll. It gets better, or worse, or real.
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Pillowattack
Boulder climber
DC
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Dec 14, 2012 - 01:23pm PT
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Hey all. Just joined this site and this topic was just what I needed to see.
Got sober in the DC area in april 2011 at age 26, and had many ups and downs. Recently, I haven't wanted to drink, but I don't want to go to meetings. I don't know if its something everyone goes through, but I feel like I have a "f**k it, what has AA done for me lately" kind of outlook right now. I know that isn't how it works and I generally get out what I put in, but its still hard to break that pattern of thinking.
Climbing has definitely helped keep me sane through all this, I feel real peace when I'm on the wall. But I feel like I'm using it as a substitute to meetings and a HP, and usually wake up feeling pretty sad.
Anyways, I'm trying to get involved again and been going to more meetings. Not so surprisingly, I feel really good when I do go and try to help another alcoholic. I wish that I didn't have to keep testing the theory, then realizing "AA works, I feel good when I do this". Then not doing it consistently.
Well, I love you guys, glad to see other climbers sharing their experience like this.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Dec 14, 2012 - 07:16pm PT
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I never went to a meeting and I am doing really good. so whatever works for you as long as you feel strong.
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