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Burns
Trad climber
Arlington, VA
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Dec 29, 2006 - 09:04am PT
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Hey Crimpie-
There were certainly ups and downs in my dirtbag stint, but since people are posting song lyrics, this is one of my favorite JP songs that reminds me a lot of when I was dirtbagging. I think it also has one of my favorite images in all of the music I've heard so far, which I'll italicize.
Flashback Blues, John Prine
While window shopping through the past
I ran across a looking glass
Reflecting moments remaining in a burned out light
Tragic magic prayers of passion
Stay the same through changing fashions
They freeze my mind like water on a winter's night
Spent most of my youth
Out hobo cruising
And all I got for proof
Is rocks in my pockets and dirt in my shoes
So goodbye nonbeliever
Don't you know that I hate to leave here
So long babe, I got the flashback blues.
Photographs show the laughs
Recorded in between the bad times
Happy sailors dancing on a sinking ship
Cloudy skies and dead fruit flies
Waving goodbye with tears in my eyes
Well, sure I made it but ya know it was as hell of a trip.
Spent most of my youth
Out hobo cruising
And all I got for proof
Is rocks in my pockets and dirt in my shoes
And ten times what it grieves you
That's how much more I hate to leave you now
So long babe, I got the flashback blues.
Spent most of my youth
Out hobo cruising
And all I got for proof
Is rocks in my pockets and dirt in my shoes
So goodbye nonbeliever
Don't you know that I hate to leave here
So long babe, I got the flashback blues.
Edit: I just realized that the first time I actually listened to this song (maybe not heard, but actually listened) I was driving into St. Louis on my way to start work in DC. Kinda wierd...
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quartziteflight
climber
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Dec 29, 2006 - 09:55am PT
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I recently gave up the career to dirtbag. You'll know when it's time, you just have to be willing to commit to giving up your routine living. I was working in academia also. No PHD, which was really F8cking me, I was doing a signifigant amount of the work on lots of research pappers and projects. Yet not getting published. I was also in an area that was not so good for climbing, but better than mizzoura! It's my opinion that when someone asks for advice the've usually got their mind made up in most cases. As Ol john hartford says. "When ya gotta go, you gotta go"
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
St. Louis
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 29, 2006 - 10:03am PT
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I'm enjoying your thoughts. It helps to see other's thoughts...
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TimM
Trad climber
near Joshua Tree
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Dec 29, 2006 - 10:51am PT
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This is an timely topic for my wife and I.
We are in the process of "Walking away from it all". We have bought a small travel trailer and have our house up for sale. We are at the age where we don't want to dirtbag it and want a warm and sheltered place to live, eat, and take a shower. Hence the travel trailer. Also, we can take our cats with us. We are in the process of adding solar panels to the trailer with enough batteries so that we can easily camp in free or low-cost campgrounds without the need for a generator or hookups.
We were lucky to have saved some money over the years and can probably live modestly the rest of our lives without the need for jobs (or at least not have to work much) as long as we don't have to own a house.
This is actually our 2nd time walking away from it. The first time we bought a smaller, more modest house and quit our jobs. However, the pursuit of material possessions entered our life and we got sucked back into a "normal" lifestyle, real jobs, and a larger "dream" house. We found that we don't own our possession; instead, your possessions own you. Our non-climbing friends are horrified at our decision to sell our "dream" house and walking away from it and can't image what we are thinking.
While we are both climbers, we have lots of other interests too. I've done the climbing bum / dirtbag thing and while it was fun, I found it very limiting and boring after a while. Hence, the need to other interests outside of climbing. I've found in the past that you just can't keep exercising only your body ... you have to exercise you mind also. Books, art, museums, etc. are great hobbies to have in addition to climbing, hiking, etc.
Our estimated departure date in Jan 15 ...
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Dec 29, 2006 - 10:56am PT
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Crimpie....IF you have freedom from work, you have slavery to poverty. To do the things YOU wish to do, you need money, health insurance, a car, and beer money, travel money, equiptment, etc. Being a penniless hobo aint' as romantic as one might think. You are a teacher, right? Take a year off work (leave without pay), save some money, sell some stuff, jack the credit cards up, and have a great time! I took one year off from my teaching job;....rode my bike across America, went climbing in Europe for 5 months, went to Colorado, Utah , and Wyoming for 2 months, and climbed a Josh a bunch that year too. Looking back on that year, it didn't hurt me financially too much, and I got alot of my ya-yas out so I could settle down, have a bunch of kids, and get strangled by the American Dream. Teachers get alot of time off;.....try to plan something sort of BIG each vacation (Road trip, Wall Climb, over-seas traveling, etc.....)......You can get the job done and still work;....just plan, execute, and deliver the goods. (Or get some rich doctor/lawyer boyfriend/girlfriend and milk the cow for all it is worth....). A thousand mile journey starts with one step. Do it! Throughout my teaching career, I have managed maybe 10 trips to Europe, 3 to So. America, One to Pakistan, one to Australia, and climbed in almost every state,...not to mention close to 4000 climbs at Joshua Tree;.....it can be done with lots of motivation, a few big credit cards, a messy house, a few t/shirts, a toothbrush, a sleeping bag, a good tent and a jacket, and a pack of smokes. Walk under that St. Luey Arch , kiss it good-bye, and don't look back. Also think about transfering to other climbing areas to teach .....I taught 5th grade in So Dak. so I could climb in the Needles and Devils Tower, 5th grade in Ariz. so I could climb in Canyonlands and Nav. Res, 6th grade in Kernville to climb in Needles in So. Sierras, 5th Grade in Wales to climb in England, and K, 3,4,5,6th grade in Joshua Tree (Over 20 years now) too. Ya got to work;..be creative, take risks, and dive in the cold water head first.... you can do it! I retire in 3 more years (at age 55)....and my kids will be 3,3 and 5 years old;......about ready to get busy exploring the planet with everything and anything my wife and I can plan for our family;.....it's a big world out there, and fear no roadtrip, credit debt or loaded diaper.
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Dec 29, 2006 - 10:57am PT
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Guess I am going to be the A-hole on this one.
Crimper, you have made significant investment into yourself as person. You are clearly a great climber and I would expect that you are a great teacher. Much of your life and time has been commited to both efforts.
It is time for a touch of balance (though it often feels impossible). Be creative. Use your skills to work on this. You are near tenure. Something the rest of the working world would kill for.
Doing the dirtbag journey is a limiting experience. the world outside of the dirt is moving faster than ever before. It is tough to comeback within the middle of the current once you have left. Dirtbags don't typicaly go to Europe, have health insurance, hit South America, Africa, Buy the "best" gear, or have the funds to drop a new tranny into the old van. This will not be trouble free.
I have struggled with the issue of hitting the road many times. Starting over is tough. I often tell my employees life and relationships have not tough days, but some tough years. Hell anybody can do it when its easy. Only the best can do it when it is hard.
I say set some goals. Maybe the summer in the Dolomites. Tunnel vision on it. Live ultra cheap saving every penny toward the objective untill the last day of school and you will be as excited as the kids are to GET THE FVCK OUT OF THERE! Get on a plane and you are living a bit vagabond but you did not give up on the world.
Crimpie, one thing i must tell you that I really mean is: IT WILL GET BETTER. IT ALWAYS DOES.
Be strong. Be the best. Be everything you wish other people would be. Just do it better.
I know you can. You take care of your body and have developed skills for your job, now work on the physche (sp). Your life is an opertunity, not a disappointment.
NOW LIVE LARGE WITH GOALS>>> WITH HOPE>>> WITH HEART.
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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Dec 29, 2006 - 10:59am PT
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Here's my career path thus far and some of the trade-offs that I've felt. I don't know how relevant you'll find it.
Grad School...I was really into it for the first year. Then I got pretty burned out. Didn't get no love from my first thesis advisor either. I really wanted to quit, but everyone kept telling me how invested I was and that I should just hang in there till I finished my Ph.D. I did switch labs (GREAT move...I loved my second lab and advisor), but I never had the same fire for research that I had when I first arrived.
Next Phase...Towards the end of grad school I started exporing other options besides research. I sat for the GMAT and the LSAT. I went to all sorts of career seminars. In the back of my mind, though, was the solid academic brainwashing that I'd gotten about what career meant that you were good and which ones meant that you were getting the consolation prize. Even though I thought I was not only going to leave academia, but research too, one of my consulting gigs turned into a really great job offer at a biotech (they were going to start a new research program based on my thesis work), so I ended up becoming a scientist in industry.
Biotech...Good money, more authority over my project than was typical of someone w/ my experience, great benes. But the fact that I wasn't that into research and definately was not into corporate life didn't change. That I had to spend so much time working alone didn't help either. I did it for 3.5 years. When my project moved from research to development (and no one promoted me to CEO or started throughing gold ingots my way), I quit. I was going to start my own business.
Sh#t happens...With the balance of my unused vacation plus and the small bit of equity I had in our newly purchased house, I felt like I had just enough wiggle room to try starting my own business. But a few weeks after I left, my house burned. Nothing was going to pay off like fixing the house up right, and fixing the house up was not optional (we owed more than insurance would have given us). So that pretty much became my career for a while.
When I started looking for jobs again after just dealing with the house for a while, I found that it was really hard to get anyone to put a lot of value in what I had to offer outside of research. I also found that people didn't want to give me a job where I would be undervalued relative to my 'area of expertise'. You get really skilled at something, and it kind of becomes your golden handcuffs.
Back to academia flexible style...So now I'm sort of back on my course. I tought a couple of general ed classes at career colleges which made me pretty anti-for-profit education. I just got a gig teaching in my specialty part time at community college. I have 5 day weekends and interesting work. The pay per hour is pretty good, but there aren't that many hours, so money is a lot tighter than it was when I was doing biotech. As adjunct faculty I need to pay for my own benes. But as a young healthy woman, my BC/BS is only $70/month and life insurance is another $3. Retirement just takes some discipline, and I do count the house as part of that plan. If I dig the job and it digs me, I could eventually work to make it FT with benes and get some of that security back.
In the course of making all of these decisions and just taking some of lifes hits, it really has helped a lot that financially I'm part of a team and not flying solo.
The biggest con that I can't deny gets at what elcapfool was posting...I'm used to busting ass for work. I'm used to being the smart youngster at the head of the table from whom people expect great things. No matter how much I felt like I was sick of my work in research, it was the only life I'd known for nearly 15 years, and I really had given my heart and soul to it. I missed it more than I thought I would. Spending a year feeling like a housewife with a part-time job (the house responsibilities didn't let me go climbing nearly as much as my schedule might ought to have let me) didn't really make me that happy. The uncertainty of having no fat income to fall back on in the face of an unexpected and very expensive event was hard to take at times. Seeing one of my best friends who is only 35 go through the ringer with breast cancer this year drove that point home even more. I had some carry-over academic snobbery that still saw community college as a less worthy place to be...until I met the other faculty and students! But it doesn't carry much in the way of bragging rights.
I really am looking forward to the coming semester though. I'm hoping that it will be a very free time in the balance between having some financial security, intellectual stimulation, and free time for climbing. The biggest thing that I think that I've learned throughout this process is that I need a bit of all three. Chucking the others to seek out just one doesn't work for me.
Best wishes with your own path.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Dec 29, 2006 - 11:33am PT
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I think it's always a good thing to question all assumptions in your life. What are you hanging on to? What do you wish to gain from change? What do you fear from it?
Just as important. What are the levels of freedom/abundance that might be available between total job slavery and total dirtbag freedom? Can you consult? Share a job? Work one semester a year? Telecommute? Delegate or hire somebody for things you don't wish to do or that could buy you time?
Put everything on the table and don't be afraid to ask some creative questions about creative win-win solutions of those who might be able to restructure your commitments here or elsewhere.
Peace
karl
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spud
climber
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Dec 29, 2006 - 11:41am PT
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I work part-time in two public libraries. Very flexible. I was offered a job as a department head in a library. I turned it down, good pay, benefits, etc., just not flexible enough. Before that I practiced massage therapy for 14 years. I had my own clinic with two other massage therapists working for me. The money was great; however, I was very unhappy working basically 24/7 and getting arthritic thumbs and having business owner headaches. The upside was that I could take as much time off for and afford great vacations. Still it seemed like too much investment of my soul.
I quit, went back to school got my library degree. I now have two jobs where I schedule my own work time--no benefits, no strings. It's fun and I can take off whenever I wish for however long I desire.
I'm lucky to have a spousal unit with a good job and benefits. He also doesn't mind (to an extent) that I commute west to play.
We still are looking forward to being vagabonds in 5 years, with health insurance and a full pocketbook.
Take a break, but if you are still fairly young--under 45--don't give up the career just yet. Just have more fun! Go West!
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Dec 29, 2006 - 12:31pm PT
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Crimp,
Keep in mind that some of the folks counseling caution aren't living in St. Louis and probably never have. I'd really recommend you start with that - do you want to continue living there? There are many beautiful places to live in the world. Mo and St. Louis have some things to recommend them, but not many in my book; certainly not enough to stay. I'd say tackle that question - yes or no - and the rest of your answers will flow pretty naturally from that one.
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Gary
climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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Dec 29, 2006 - 01:02pm PT
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Missourah is a great state for cavers. Not sure about climbers.
Crimp, you're a teacher? Got summers off? What's the problem! I'd be happy to switch with you.
I wish I'd had become a teacher, oh well.
Join the National Speleological Society. There are some incredibly beautiful wild caves in Missouri. That will help you make the best of St. Louis while you're there. Until you quit and get a job teaching in Yucca Valley.
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
St. Louis
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 29, 2006 - 01:08pm PT
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I would say that STL is THE problem. I hate it here. If you are married and especially if you are raising kids - wow what a great place. But if you are single and older like I am, a bullet in the skull wouldn't be much worse. At least then one could hang out with some dead people. I need to leave. I'm trying.
Also, I'm not a teacher, I'm a professor in a research dept. So moving jobs isn't so easy, but it can be done (though very slowly). I do have the greatest flexible schedule (all professors do I think). That I'll try to hold onto. Just need to get out of this city. Ack.
Still, I'm enjoying your stories and thoughts. It does help. Thanks.
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Dec 29, 2006 - 01:14pm PT
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Professor Crimper (said with a salute),
Never been to your city because I sorta avoid that part of the country...
Geography matters, and patience is a virtue.
Be the ass kicking, make the world what you want, kind of person you know you are, and make the move happen without falling off the face of the planet!
It may take a year or two to complete, but once it is done, you still have a great career and an better place... Today will be behind you.
Now map out the plan of attack and get to it!
Cheers from Sunny California
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spud
climber
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Dec 29, 2006 - 01:27pm PT
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Sounds like you are having holiday angst along with geographical depression. Perhaps therapy? Vacation?
Hormone therapy? Drugs? Rack up frequent flyer miles?
The beach? Sunshine? SoCal for a weekend? AZ for a weekend?
Mexico for a weekend? How about trips to the tanning salon to beef up light exposure? Weekend at a spa? A good massage? Yoga class?
Don't make rash decisions during winter months in the Midwest.
Brain function can be almost nil due to flatland boredom. Weekend quickies to sunny locales with rock/mountains rule!
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
St. Louis
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 29, 2006 - 01:33pm PT
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bwahahahahah! Spud - that totally cracked me up!
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WBraun
climber
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Dec 29, 2006 - 01:37pm PT
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Oh crimpi
I'm glad you're not buying all this bullshit in this thread. Hahahaha
Take it to the limit ........
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mack
Trad climber
vermont
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Dec 29, 2006 - 03:20pm PT
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Crimpie,
I like the sunshine theory. It seems like all the big jumps I've made in my life have happened in winter. Maybe a coincidence but this time of year I really start to go stir crazy. Short tempered, and ready to jump ship at the slightest provocation.
Plan and take a great vacation. And the advice my mother always gives...make a list of pros and cons. Which list is longer? Mom is sooo rational.
Mack
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Dec 29, 2006 - 03:24pm PT
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"Don't make rash decisions during winter months in the Midwest."
My solution has been to never be in a position to make ANY decisions in the midwest!
Land 'o' Lincoln class of '56.
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
St. Louis
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 29, 2006 - 03:36pm PT
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My friend uses the avatar "Midwestishell." So appropriate!
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