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Gene
climber
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Not short, but not overly long.
The Pope is working at his desk when a senior Cardinal rushes in.
Holy Father. I have the most incredible good news and bad news for you. Which do you want first?
Give me the good news first, my son.
Holy Father. Jesus has returned. He’s holding on the phone to talk to you.
My son, what possible bad news could there be on a day like this?
He’s calling from Salt Lake City.
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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There is a new drink out at the bars in New York.
It's called a Sandy. It's a watered down Manhattan!
I'll be here all week!
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froodish
Social climber
Portland, Oregon
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A baby harp seal walks into a club.
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bajaandy
climber
Escondido, CA
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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll drink beer all day.
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cliffhanger
Trad climber
California
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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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Dec 30, 2012 - 01:26pm PT
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I was in bed with a blind girl the other night.
She said I had the biggest c*#k she had ever put her hands on.
I told her she was pulling my leg.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Dec 30, 2012 - 01:42pm PT
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Why was the squirrel doing the backstroke across the pond?
To keep his nuts dry!
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weezy
climber
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Dec 30, 2012 - 01:55pm PT
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what does a nosey pepper do?
it gets jalapeño business.
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Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
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Mar 25, 2013 - 06:49pm PT
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Her legs were like butter
They spread easy
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
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have you heard the one
about the rich man's widow?
she filled her dress with
stolen eggs!
the people of the town
a gathered 'round
to laugh her down.
when those eggs all broke
and ran down her leg.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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goatboy smellz
climber
Nederland-GulfBreeze
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Jul 10, 2013 - 08:39pm PT
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Why is your oven smoking?
Because it just finished fvcking the dishwasher.
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Trad is Rad
Trad climber
San Luis Obispo California
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Jul 11, 2013 - 12:17am PT
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What do you call a 16 year old girl that can run faster than her 10 brothers?
A virgin
Whats the worst part about blow up dolls?
They smell and you have to drain them every two weeks
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hairyapeman
Trad climber
Fres-yes
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Jul 11, 2013 - 01:54am PT
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A termite walks into a bar and ask's "Where's the bar tender?"....
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nature
climber
Boulder, CO
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 11, 2013 - 02:02am PT
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manzanita man +1 LOL!
goatboy smellz too!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jul 11, 2013 - 05:15am PT
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"Although I've never read a book all the way through, I'm sure excited to write one," Short joked in a statement. He added, "I haven’t named my book yet, but I’m toying with the title If I’d Saved, I Wouldn't Be Writing This."--Martin Short in an article, well, most of an online article, on the Splitsider comedy website
What do you call a dog with no legs (besides Shorty)?
It doesn't matter, he can't come to you anyway.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Wherever you left him.
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tooth
Trad climber
B.C.
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Jul 11, 2013 - 09:09am PT
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A friend's mom actually told me this story from last week.
She was in Canada shopping for something for her son and daughter-in-law's baby shower.
She wanted something Canadian. Maybe one of those cute little canadian hats, but she couldn't pronounce toque.
She asked some guys who sent her to a pot shop. I guess she pronounced it toke!
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WyoRockMan
climber
Flank of the Bighorns
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Jul 11, 2013 - 03:40pm PT
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Two lawyers are walking down a street when they see a very attractive lady walking on the other side.
The first lawyer says, "I think I would like to fvck her!"
The second replies, "Outta what?"
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Gary
Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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Jul 11, 2013 - 03:47pm PT
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The Pope is doing a crossword puzzle. He asks the Cardinal, "What's a four letter word for a woman that ends in u-n-t?"
The Cardinal says, "Aunt."
The Pope says, "Got an eraser?"
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jul 11, 2013 - 04:13pm PT
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What is the best time to visit the dentist?
Two-thirty.
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