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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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bump
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Brian, Nita, David - very sorry to hear your sad news, and thinking of you.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 6, 2012 - 05:20pm PT
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I have been on cruise control all day since I got up at mid-morning, no hang-over, Splitter, just remorse for spending the dough on wine and beer. The weed, not so much, it's killer and has done the job today.
I got out the vote, mailed the book to Our neebee, bless you, and that pack of chewing gum to CosmicSceneMan to fix his cams.
I sat out front with coffee at Coffee Bandits on Main, just thinking. A woman sat down. Her name is Marty. She is an angel. We spoke. She related her story: bag woman, moved from NY & ended up in SF, then here in Merced. She's been working with the Salvation Army. She shared. I needed to visit with her and she needed to pray for someone to the glory of God. So nicely-done, Miss You're-the One.
When I told Marty/Miriam that I am totally whimsied out and she is a dingbat, but I loved that about her, she was so happy. She needs validation that she's doing the right thing, and all I had to do was respond to her. You may or may not find the city is all that, but I can't imagine this happening in an urban setting as opposed to a hick town. She prayed for Boomer and family.
Then I thanked her
and was on my way, thinking,
"How John Salathe."
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2012 - 08:11pm PT
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Ron, you are a good guy and one of the originals. We are all copies of someone, but you and I have an affinity, an appreciation of the absurd.
What's absurd is that we have arrived at them in different ways. You had no dad to guide, correct, initiate you. I did. What diff? Not much, that I can see. You were forced to be independent. I had to fight to be so.
I need a break from this Taco. It's too addictive, too distracting. I have sensed a restlessness coming over me. This death is liberating. There is a lesson there, somewhere.
Untill I return, this thread has terminated, as far as I am concerned. there are other loose ends. Most do not concern boobs or turds, Ron, but I will leave you with the high sign
UU
(what boobs get to looking like sooner or later--i'm so tired.)
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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It happens to the best of us my friend.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, mouse...
oh my... had not seen this yet...
a very nice picture of your father...
my condolences to you and your family and loved ones, a this hard sad time
of his passing...
will send a card, soon...
may the new trail that comes without him being near, be:
a trail of the nearness of special and very sweet memories, that will
bring new life to you, after the sad tears of each one that graces your thoughts...
god bless...
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Brian, I hope all is well with you, I know how difficult this time can be.
Love isn't supposed to hurt, but if it didn't I guess it wouldn't really be love, eh? I mean, if you lose something you love, it can be very painful. But then, you never really lose love, because, love is eternal. There were times that I wished I had never loved at all, it would have been so much easier, it seemed. But, we know that isn't true, because that is what we are here for. Because love is the most precious gift of all,
"And now these three remain, faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."!
Love is a blessing, and you and your father have been blessed. Boomer will never forget you, and will never stop loving you, nor you him. That is really the most important thing we can take with us, and the most important thing worth clinging to here on earth. May a peace beyond all understanding be with you, bro!
John
edit: Nita - "Farewell Farewell" -- That is a beautiful song, I have never heard it before. It is truely special, thankyou!
Mouse - "Her name is Marty" -- I believe people, and occasionally angels, are sent from heaven for special times and circumstances...and they are never late, they're always right on time!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2012 - 09:56pm PT
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It's been a day, let me tell you. I got straight with my brothers and sister about the obsequies, the requiem mass, and so on. The body's on the cremation plane and it will be turned into cinders down in Texas. Yep, Texas.
Mass and memorial are next Wednesday.
All set. Bank's good, mean to sell the double-wide cheap & fast. Some furniture will be stored by me for use in a new place.
Thanks for sticking with me, friends.
I need sleep because I mean to start to finish up with the Sierra Club Bulletins this weekend (big stack) while looking through Jim's new batch of slides he shipped me. May havesome Cathedral shots. I'm hoping some Tahquitz, too.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Take care..Mr Mouse....
Saludos..
Best Wishes...
nita.
.............................
Thinking about my Mom...She is having a tough time....
Sending this song out to my Mom, and anyone else that is experiencing sorrow.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9TmJBBKYmU
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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too real is this feeling of make believe
too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
[Click to View YouTube Video]
but remember
my need is such, I pretend too much
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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I got straight with my brothers and sister about the obsequies, the requiem mass, and so on.
Three weeks ago, when it looked like my father would only have a few days, he asked for us all to join him. Which we did. His room was tiny, so we pried him out of his bed and hoisted him into a wheelchair, and the kind folks at the hospital gave us a little meeting room, and we sat and listened. To his thoughts on the obsequies, and so on.
He's blind, so we all had to identify ourselves by voice, but he soon knew who was where, and looked right at us. And he was beyond weak, so even with an Oxy feed he could only manage a few words without a break. But he sat tall in the chair and laid it down.
And the message was: "It won't matter to me, cuz I ain't gonna be participating, so you do what you think is right to remember me. The only thing I ask is that you don't involve any preachers."
So we tucked him back into bed, then sat around crying, or pretending not to cry, for a while. And agreed that there wouldn't be any preachers involved, but that when the time came, be it tomorrow or next week or next year, that there would be a jar with his ashes, and plenty of time to listen to whoever wanted to tell a story.
However it goes down for you and your dad Mouse, I hope you feel my spirit there with you.
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Evel
Trad climber
Nedsterdam CO
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Hang in there Mouse. We've not met that I'm aware of, but I do like your style around here. Sure wouldn't be the same without your posts.
My pop died many years ago in my arms. I've never gotten over it, but my life has had to go on. It's crappy at times. But no-one ever promised me a rose garden. I just keep my chin up and know that dad would be disappointed if I didn't. That alone has helped a lot over the years. It doesn't go away,but it does get easier. A little.
You're gonna be alright Brother.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 9, 2012 - 06:51am PT
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A Golfer’s Requiem
By Francis W. Bermingham
I’m teeing off on a course today I’ve never played before.
From what I’ve heard, nobody much cares about your score.
With fairways wide, rough not deep,
The hills before you not too steep,
The greens they say are smooth and true,
With subtle breaks and a lovely view.
My partner’s attired in different mode,
He’d never pass my club’s dress code:
He wears a robe of purest white--
When on the tee, He’s quite a sight.
He sports a beard and His hair’s too long;
And as he swings, he hums a song.
Without golf spikes, He’s wearing sandals.
Perhaps I should be lighting candles?
But when we reached the nineteenth hole,
I thanked the God who saved my soul.
And this is my legacy, a penchant to outdo my dad's poetry, and remember he had two holes-in-one, akin to climbing the Captain or Trango. I could never beat him a golf, or at pool, or at hearts, or in the vocabulary tests in the Readers Digest, nor could I sing like he could, nor even plunk a ukelele the way he could. But he bothered to help me become better at each.
On the other hand he never climbed the Captain, though we did climb a cinder cone off the 99 up by the town of Shasta. And we did take a memorable moonlight hike (sans moon, so it was a midnight hike, technically) with the family to the top of Yosemite Falls, 1964. And I can't post the fishing trophies he garnered with Mike and Tim--salmon, steelies, bass.
But I can truly say he gave me the urge to be specific in language, get the point over, don't BS, and do your research. All this from a guy who never finished JC, but trained himself with Toastmasters to deliver a competent train of thought in front of people and relied on his slide rule for much of his data when doing reports for Pac Tel. And he taught me to stay the course in employment. In this day and age, he kept the same job for over thirty years. By contrast, I have had three main employers over twenty-six years, plus several ancillary and other positions, and I only quit one time. Sh#t-canned several, but I didn't quit. One has responsibilities, but one likes to keep eating and stay warm, too. My brother Mike just retired two years ago after thirty-five with the Irrigation District.
It's awful hard to fill certain shoes or meet certain standards. Dads are just so important, aren't they, Fletcher?
It's great to hear your stories, too, my friends. This is a blessing I did not expect, consciously. Some thing happening here; what it is will reveal itself in the clear and then we'll all sing Take Me Out To The Golf Course in four-part harmony.
Here's a tune mentioned by Joe Fitschen in Going Up (never heard of this one!) that makes me think of the years Boomer was growing up and there were all sorts of things happening that he lived through. It is filled wtih forties charm. Gershwin, Concerto in F. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6lQD31dynA
The last several years Boomer spent lots of time telling me about his life in our evening phone conversations. These regular phone talks are one of the best things for older folks, who rely on them every day to keep them from feeling isolated and ignored. Always call your Dad or Mom if you even happen to think about it. You may be really glad you did. Just a "thinking about you" is a kindness they will treasure for who knows how long.
I could easily sense Boomer's energy, his joie de vivre, quickly leaving him as he had to abandon golf because he was too weak to play. Imagine the grief he went through because it wasn't just about the golf with him, it was Dudley, Gus, Nick, Ralph and Burt and Bobbye he mainly golfed with and they had left the game or passed on. And Tim and I were not playing, though Tim has taken it up again (he was on the MHS golf squad). Mike was the hunter and fisherman, not a golfer, though he and Dad took several fishing trips to Mexico and the Sacramento was their private stocked river, they seemed to think. You needed to like salmon and sturgeon around our family.
A Golfer's Obituary
email sent from older bro in Merced Falls to youngest bro in Jamestown
Tim, Here is a draft of what we used for Dad's obituary, only a couple of minor changes were made to the final.
The bottom info is self-explanatory.
Mass is Weds. the 14th at 10:00 AM. I'll fill you in on more as I get it.
Francis W. “Boomer” Bermingham 5/17/1924 -- 11/4/2012.
Francis was born in Redding, CA. He attended schools there until 1942. After high school he worked a summer as a concrete vibrator during the construction of Shasta Dam. After attending Sacramento JC for one semester, he enlisted in the Army Air Corps. He received his commission as a second lieutenant and wings as a pilot in May of 1944. Shortly after “D Day”, he served in England and France in the Troop Carrier Command, hauling supplies and towing gliders on combat missions. Returning from Europe after “V-E” Day, he married his high school sweetheart, Barbara Larson in August 1945.
After discharge, he was employed by Pacific Tel & Tel as an engineering assistant. After several years in Redding as a Telephone Representative, he was transferred to Sacramento. He held various positions there, including Service Engineer, Sales Supervisor, Public Office Manager, and Unit Manager. After eight years, he was transferred to Merced in 1961 as Manager. He was active in the Merced Relations Committee, Boy Scouts, Rotary Club, Chamber of Commerce, Base Community Council, Our Lady of Mercy Dad’s Club, OLM Choir, Barbershop Chorus, and Merced Golf and Country Club.
He enjoyed golf, fishing, golf, boating & water skiing, golf, camping & RVing, and golf. His loving wife Barbara, of 57 years passed away in March, 2003. He is survived by three sons, Michael of Snelling, Brian of Merced, and Timothy of Jamestown, and a daughter Lenna Peterson of Sonora, as well as several grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Requiem Mass will be held at St. Patrick’s on ___.
Contributions in lieu of flowers may be made to a charity of the donor’s choice.
Arrangements are being handled by Stratford Evans.
And so it comes to this
A boxful of ashes
And the collected memories of four children
And countless friends, most of whom have been remembering Good Old Boomer in absentia but now are greeting him in the Good Old Heavenly Clubhouse.
Unlike golf, a good way to ruin a walk,
Climbing is a good way to enhance that walk,
I have found.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Nov 10, 2012 - 06:08pm PT
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hey there say, mouse.... prayers for the situations coming up...
am praying that all goes smooth... (i put a note--comment--on your facebook page, as to a prayer for it all)...
as to this quote of yours:
The last several years Boomer spent lots of time telling me about his life in our evening phone conversations. These regular phone talks are one of the best things for older folks, who rely on them every day to keep them from feeling isolated and ignored. Always call your Dad or Mom if you even happen to think about it. You may be really glad you did. Just a "thinking about you" is a kindness they will treasure for who knows how long.
that is priceless... i wish my folks liked to talk as much as i do...
i'd talks to them all night... but they DO love phone calls, and that much i cherish we they DO talk...
T hocking:
my deep prayers too, for you dad at this hard time of his life...
you are not alone... folks really do care to send wishes or prayers, you are in everyones thoughts...
god blesss...
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Nov 13, 2012 - 10:50am PT
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Tad,
Sending my sincere heartfelt condolences to you and your family...
take care of yourself and get some much deserved sleep..
Saludos..
nita..
.........................................
Ec, Father just passed away, and his family had a Memorial on Sunday.
Sending heartfelt condolences his way..also...
Best wishes...
nita..
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Nov 13, 2012 - 11:07am PT
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Very sorry to here of the loss of your father Tad, prayers going your way, may he rest in peace!
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Nov 13, 2012 - 11:18am PT
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hey there say, T hocking (tad)...
my condolences to you at this hard time of sadness, as your dad is now gone...
holding the joy, though of how he got to see the baby, and the family...
that is the best 'las memory' for many to cherish...
god bless... prayers, as you all begin to move-on, without him,
now...
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Nov 13, 2012 - 12:02pm PT
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TH
To hold the first of the Great grandchildren and be surrounded by love, comfortable at home. incredible blessing
I wish your family peace and at least some moments of real joy as you all share the stories of his life.
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Nov 13, 2012 - 02:39pm PT
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[Click to View YouTube Video]
edit: Brian - thnx, bro! btw, the 'old man' this guy is singing about is his grandfather (those are pics of him). it's a true story. he took him fishing one day and had a 'man to man' talk with him. he went directly home and wrote a song about it. he mentions it at the beginning of the 'acoustic version' of this song (maybe i will post it some time). it's a timeless & apropos message for one and all. glad ya liked it!
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