Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
Where is this? Itz Reilly been bugging me?oh, & choss from where? Lime stone?don't freak,grab the pixs for friend A climber named Fan Yang is headed to Norway and is a bit of interest, he crushes..., so it sounds like he is headed for that sport cave? but I know him from, his long hard free, 20+ mile dayz. Those mega-classic, less than, all vertical, all the time, type climbs, now what he calls rest days.
Can I share? any must know about lines?
Ive not seen Uncle Henny! in a hun-red years! He is looking fit, well fed as ever, I dare say! We were not his favorite relatives.
He liked my mother's sisters' side better, people pleasers,less all`fulff, more meaty. less bitter,They're more Hungarian;It must be for their Ghoulash, or so we all suppose?
looks a bit familial? Tuning ? recorded, full tour, all song breaks?
snippets strung together of all the starts and stops from '77-
All of the noodling for your listening pleasure?
White noise with squweeks flash-backy strokes of sound from below,
Think I find that, cringe-worthy
& to think of all the time spent not spending time doing, but rather preparing to do. . .
worth a listen on the odder thread @ Robertson Gym, UC Santa Barbara on 2-27-1977
Bachar's influence will eventually be the death of me
from the looks of it sooner than later
https://youtu.be/EWF8SUdqPI8
|
|
Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
|
|
Oarless
It’s been too long since I have written
And these words unconsummated
As if unspoken are but meaningless
Not deeds but only words
Not action nor inaction
Just representative of my condition
Too many losses
These long quiet loathings
They might harbor something toxic
Like the dismay of feeling useless
Or adrift without a rudder
I used to paddle a canoe
In command of my own course
I picked the currents
Worked the eddies
Put ashore at idyllic beaches
Making beds to nap among soft grasses
The dappling sunlight through the foliage
My only timepiece or connection
To the outside world
Too many days have passed now
Where I’ve reached for that old feeling
Only to come up short
Am I alone now?
Oarless?
And this witching hour engulfs me
Like a blanket of humidity
Or a warm Venusian sunset
As the view of my condition
Clouded and blurring
Sees only my extremities corroding
Decomposition has set in now
Hanging strands of what was sinew
Have stretched beyond all elasticity
And the force we know as gravity
Both merciless and relentless
Has crushed in my amygdalae
It’s been too long since l have written
Now the sprinkler has heard it’s timer
And the brain that’s longed for sleep now
Will do whatever it do
As my mind still drifts along
...Oarless
-bushman
07/07/2018
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
*YES, Please, do Call, then come back & shoot the Breeeze**
in all, 20 times? those dealings there,?
there was not a lot of back & forth. . .
I felt my energy was way off his, it made it uncomfortable, on more than one occasion.
there is a vast gulf & while only a dozen years separate us
those are the Vietnam War years.
The late 60s coming of age in a riot, versus me a suburban hippie wanna be
till i made it back to being naked in beads.
I'm waiting, youall bee good to him!
I'm miles away
& in that not easy -teenagers starting to date phase-
As he has sed to moi, its not my calli {fornification"} any wat
I'm'a gonna' when itz light out there/ so done & done, no pick-up, -that -No answer leave a message- fun... not
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/3103002/A-VERY-IMPORTANT-PETITION-re-Public-Lands
=+)
https://www.outdooralliance.org/blog/2018/7/3/new-bills-propose-eliminating-all-national-public-lands-in-the-west#!
1st ya know it will take some writing & re-writing for me to get my thoughts out in a coherent way so bare with me or don't even try It is still a FREE THOUGHT land...... Im a paranoid. . . .like y'all didn't know, so its big for me to be on any list, I know crazy, but I Gone & done singed It, everyone on this board should.
In fact, and I am sorry to say this, It is now past time, there is no way to stop the return to a singularly States Rights, above the rights of the public & the removal of Federal protections.
It is the Women's health rights issue that they are also gunning for.
They are thrilled at all the collateral of value that can be siphoned off. In so targeting public spaces, Lands, museums, schools & eventually, The National Parks, & service,the plan is to enhance entropy through total neglect. This will so be, used & abused, that it will force all these institutions of a free democracy into "privatized" concerns.
Given the coming under supported Federal laws, even without jurisdiction, private lands are already transferring to larger entities, that just fence what they want. Stealing land, by threatening counter suits and years of litigation at huge costs, if the rightful owners won't sell. It is the slow motion train wreck of a once great society, corrupted from the top down, descending into a kleptocracy, the state of most of the rest of the globe's governments....?
Wow!(BUMP)
Sign IT!
And Some one
(other than a gnome from Connecticut) should go over to Mountain Reject And post this too
Come On!
sign It
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
Extravision Remoteflyt. longviewspeakz, remote In sight, thnx Bushman, big Tim your a delight. tragic only by the fact that the chips are down, for sure, missing our center board, less one, A rudderless ship of fools on a stormy sea. With the sails in tatters, torn still aloft, in streamers. Weather doldrums or gale, it is a cur'sed sail, A sigh,
& wail that this tale winds now, A sorrow to see whatz what & whoz whoz really
iTZ COLD AROUND HERE CONSIDERING THE HEAT WAVE OUTSIDEin that it seems left
i will keep it glowing
in that summer I clib'd da Devils and made the shade work for what is was worth. We were all past 70, and knew a boy or to to be recognized, we were 5
the climbing ? it did take a back seat and I was the gun. if the Dilodid one han't been it would been more fun. as it was I wasn't that high and the there was the Cali,real bear danger. A ranger at the entry took one look, well more like smell and went Oh Hell No, and sent where we'd be sfer, only small rocks.. where was I
Oh yhea,, Red Rocks Amphitheater, 7/7-8/78 The Dire Wolf in the video is from the 1st night (Warning,Climbing content)
https://youtu.be/p4XjLeKoujU
EE
it sounds like, you are suffering "Takeme" &-Or "despise myself" disease ?
this is often the case, when the victim/climber gets mentally stuck. & obsessed with a goal, of achievement of a hard climb, gets a -preconceived expectation of difficulty- stuck as the 1st thought in mind, that leads to a full blown set of factors that set up a "failure loop" a repeating negative mantra, that gets stuck in ones mind.
This can be helped by mileage, but also by thinking in a 5.10a mind - set. You want to be able to do this," its easy, that was no more than .10a, at all times, it is most effective when placing gear on 5.12s, if you think, :ah, a 5.10, rest to get gear at" even if the stance is non-existant. is at the grade where pushing the mind till & to feel calm.takes practice.
TL;DR, I didn't even finish it
you need to repeat to yourself , , , , , , "I can, I can, I Can", , , ,--Not---, "I Think I Can, I think I can"
when you are going for what in your mind are "harder" climbing goals,
So; working at it, - you are also, maybe, unwittingly, building some trepidation
(not every time you climb, only when you 'chase the number" as opposed to seeing the way, if you understand?).)
You need to find a place inside your mind where in a state of constant panic, over the very real potential for carnage & death,
A place, in your mind, where you can still take time to watch the butterfly, There is no more or less to life than that smell
The stink of death, that permeates & makes one able to float the moves to the anchors,
rather then realize that that smell was your failure to squeeze the holds hard enough
_
"EEE""EEEE"
(edit, *Hilarity,before I hit post, after spell checking, I self-censored,
Trying not to cross the invisible line that keeps moving that I'm s'posz'd to see, It read crude,wtf?
confused, I read it out loud, and took the one word out:
At least that seems to be the ,- Sloppy Seconds-,ofthe sad soap opera)
because
aND HE AND i WE hAVE NOT MET AND WILL NOT MEET BUT THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION
have I no shame?
this poor girl is maimed!
someone ban the Gnome
No She gets it and asked ME
So STFU
and listen
No Im not on anny so I can't be off my meds
You dadz is ignoring him and after The Bird thing?
okay well
I talked to mouse, a thumbless joe. He Is Reading About the man who stepped up and save a little boy from child abuse
wrapped me in the lap of luxury that has its double edge now
you haters, gona hate
wait
Quantum7 please(~);=} Bear With . . . , I was a child, a baby naked in beads at deadshows so please
Hans Kraus, one of my climbing mentors and Doctor to President JFK.
wrote about the test to tell how one might recuperate from major surgeries whe taken account of as many variables as known, to be ready, if or when things go south.
At 5'1' and small boned you need to find a pediatric, so specilizing in small, doctors consult if not the one to do a lions share of the atatchment.
I have been put back together with great results, and able to return, when walking had been in doubt
HSS, is in NYC the Hospital for Special Surgery. The wife resigned to not have had surgery fearing the onset of arthritis, but the consults were in all ways good & very thourogh, THAT IS OF COURSE THE WORD & what you are doing.
So?
sow buttons, my other mentor, a seamstress by hobby an Miss Sardine in 56? an English tutor with a hate for the non-word "so"
Krist Rauhbenhiemer nursed her son back with stoic resolve, it was not an ooy-gooy family. Tor had fallen down an icy New England gully his partner died. The consensus around his bed, rember Hans Krauses adopted son, This was top flight, all stop.
so long story
Tor had no amputations. his hands were phook'd. the way it went was momma bear threw a who's who of the best doctors and there proclamations of '"You have to cut them off" out and Tor over a very long time lost a tip or two. so it is up to you.
Are you a natural?
A healer? A runner?
As a runner due go long distances and will you lose that
is you physical age (not actual) in that wonderful stage of suspension, if you know what I mean and arn't to dismissive of anything I have said?
be sure to ask if, when you have the chance what toe is the least disruptive to lose.?
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 14, 2018 - 07:47am PT
|
Goldline & bonitti steel biners, Kronhoffers from Hans, Hammer from Fritz
5/9/77 Buffalo,Memorial Aud, Buffalo NYSome may say the penultimate but arn't they all, when you get into it
FRANKLINS TOWER, roll away, some come by night some came by day , , ,
https://youtu.be/
[Click to View YouTube Video]
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 14, 2018 - 11:05am PT
|
Dwain Cosmic, post away please if'n it brings you pleasure . please by all means I'll write in gibberish, a steep climb away from where Garble base is,,,,,It brings inspiration, delayed, but i was getting busy, so this had to wait
Up Or Down
Like Joyce,Who's to say , if in fact night is day
in all that you do ask your self am I growing, nurturing the good, spreading light and making things better? Better by addition, ?
lost it, effin,t
Is what I do A shadow of the right & light, with darkness comes sorrow, I try to feel your pain, but I have no sympathy.
way to go, celebrating your superiority of another?
very christumpian of you
we really should recognize that we had a USA under the black devil, but look hard at prophecy, my boy, Dwain y i9s more proof
Repent
Lost it__ theres no way?? ghhrr! that really sucx,, the 'puuter needs a rest
A good screed has been lost
toasting
Fappy Hames to all
and to all a good night
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Ha, So in this case, the humidity has caused the pad on my laptop to be hyper sensitive & copy paste when my lazy type posture is in use
**^*^**
oh f, he is not here but his reading, that BroTim, wincingly, asserted was not worth, the time or was in the way of doing something to better
his dire set up.
When I let him get a word in edge wise,
what he said was that he had been reading, interesting books and one, JFK's Secret Doctor. at least it must be in part by Susan eb Schwartz, based on interviews with Hans Kraus.
His story is a remarkable one. I kind of knew that about Fritz but that, while Hans was like a Grandfather to me for a few years, I didn't get it.
I think if you were to ask, I was a sullen abused child when they got their hands on me and true to their evil Austrian nature, like my parents, had fun with me.
We as kids would chimney deep into the chasms, rooms & hall ways formed by 2 story-house, sized blocks.
Giants Workshop, the name given to these blocks; a giant field of giant sized blocks of talus. Talus field below Cope's Look-out, has long corridors that wind up and down , providing a small child acess to a maze.
The 2 old Austrians would walk over the top, occasionally whistling for us while we marked our way by leaving burning candels and a string to follow if we got lost.
There sort of fun was doing things like a 31st anniversary climb of High Exposure, and letting me , below lead the top pitch ahead of the crew assembled,
their sort of fun made it so that they returned a some what changed still abused but now very happy school boy.
I guess I still don't want to play "NICE"? with others, when those others have rules that don't make sense to me
Ticks?
what ?
who cares?
why is anyone else privy to what I've climbed?
whats the point?
I never got why anyone wants to be an anal list maker.
I live in the moment !
but if this is what I have to pay, to play here?
I'll have to go figure it out
when sleep alludes me, hell yes I'll add ticks.
I certainly have added to the New Jersey pages,
and
I'm not sure that my history in the Gunks is anyone's business,
I very regularly soloed up & down at sky top.
one time onsighting "Single File" after having already done the -"pilgrims (m/s*) Circuit"
Dick Williams walked by,
and i asked him which way,
he said go right, and walked off.
The route was recently climbed, well chalked, so it was a matter of connecting the right dots, to get to the top.
I guess I'll just start copying the New Hampshire guide book,too...
I don't remember when it was Joey Perezes' (The Pereze Dihedrals?)
and our/my other FAs were stuck from the recent editions?
we climbed off the Kancamagus highway, the Kangck back in '77-8.[Click to View YouTube Video]
|
|
WyoRockMan
climber
Grizzlyville, WY
|
|
|
Jul 15, 2018 - 02:21pm PT
|
Thinkin' about mouse.
I like the garblin' gnome. He's no Gabby Johnson, but it's nice to slow my reading cadence down and cipher the real point now and again. Seems like a nice fellow to spend a day with.
Gabby shows up at about :30 in case you want to skip the preacher.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2018 - 07:21pm PT
|
hey there say, tad... tell mouse, i just sent him some cartoons and puzzles, and that i sent them TO YOU...
*never got an update address...
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 18, 2018 - 08:13pm PT
|
I felt like getting a few old friends together ive got to include the one the only
JB the Doninisor says buck up, bucker-rooThe mighty mites Representin; Shanti-Pakshe is fully small so there is room for an otheryou know whos next Mrs Caylor & Ms Hill& then for ever, I will be in the debt of the fine and wise Dr Vicky, yes most fun ever, hope you lurk & see thisIve got the part time commie,all gussied up& special plain that would be a fun gathering
|
|
hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
|
|
|
Jul 20, 2018 - 10:48am PT
|
last night i was hailed by a tourist couple in distress ...
they asked me to describe their current location to the AAA operator
because they were locked out of their car with the engine running.
the little dog inside was the culprit. it was after dark so the heat wasn't an issue
which was good since we're an hour out from the service truck.
they described a series of misfortunes that had befallen them as of
this point on their trip but their spirits were still good.
the operator put us on hold while she checked that the truck was available for a prompt response.
it was during that pause the lady tourist screamed and pointed at the car ... doggy was hanging part way out the window.
the driver reacted instantly to save the day with a reach inside to secure their fortune while the window
was still partly down and as likely to head back up.
i guess all the switches at issue were on the arm rest under the dog's paw.
i handed back the phone, wished them well and over my shoulder
proclaimed "i think your luck has changed."
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 20, 2018 - 08:03pm PT
|
My ' puters' a puttering, &
slow, it is, as each letter takes a moment more than "is right"
takes a tragically long time to just load to a home page. I'll take it some where some time, O
I would be more stalwart anti- 45 if I posted this to a politickle-me-not
but it is better to never click on those. it hurts, to try to comprehend
[Click to View YouTube Video]
://
to add to the crazy over each others head over on those other threads ?
seams ripping?
minds frayed from disbelieving -
that anyone smart enough to appreciate climbing cant see the truth,
the truth thru the filter,
then the Nazi Duck
I had to duck
back in here to tear it up & try again,
and at least try & find some peace
there is one thing that pissed me off
some one missed the history so badly, the "Jews" controlled NO thing at the end of WWII!
The plan to send them back home ran a foul of many groups, including the remaining survivors. On May 10, 1945, Germany surrendered.
At that time, we were still fighting Japan in the Pacific. The most optimistic estimate for defeating Japan was 18 months and a land invasion of the Japanese Islands. Eisenhower was most concerned with negotiating an agreement with the Soviets regarding Japan. We agreed to Russia getting the Kurile Islands and the port of Vladisvostoc in exchange for their help with finishing the war with Japan.
In Europe,
Winston Churchill was a big proponent of never reuniting Germany,at least not for a good 30+ years.
Through negotiations, both Austria and Germany were divided into 4 roughly equal zones, Soviet, British, French, American.
The Soviets proceeded to take everything of value out of East Germany and ship it back to Mother Russia.
We were complicit, war was over & we shipped Werner von Braun and other top scientists back to the USA as fast as we could.
In a nutshell,
we were willing to tolerate Stalin as long as our objectives were met.
The only one for whom the war was not over ? Who saw the Red Menace for what it was, was the one general who disagreed, & maybe someone should recall the patriots name, Gen, George S Patton;
he thought we should invade Russia and "finish it". No one in command agreed with him.
So this is the WWII background.
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
|
Jul 20, 2018 - 10:28pm PT
|
hey there, say, hooblie.... :O oh myyyyyyyyyyyy....
whewwww...
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 21, 2018 - 09:07am PT
|
make america great again by initiating & perpetrating acts to make america lose it's greatness.
There has always been the evil that man does to man but the measure of the depths of the toxic rot is how a government wants its treatment of the innocent victims children escaping extreme violence, to be portray'd.
how it is portrayed,
that portrayal,
what the image of the actions taken, says the way that there is complete capitulation to a kleptocracy,
expressions of -no concern?-
after they, some other traitor repukelikers,
went to thuggssia, on the thugs dime on the QT.
or during some shiny object moment
so this pay to play
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/congress/gop-senators-headed-to-moscow-to-smooth-things-over-with-putin
mother russia telling the stooges s how it is, this aint no gumball fools, no redhot you can spit out,
you try to quit us now
you go blind your family dies.
https://www.rferl.org/a/republican-lawmakers-seek-putin-visit-during-russia-trip/29314372.html
Q Y ?
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/republican-lawmakers-face-russian-mockery-following-moscow-trip
as it positions as to the importance in a free world.
to pull this off, every type of distraction was made available to suck the curious into the web of disinformation.
ever kind of "opioid" , from the drug to porn, weed and art, climbing.
There are so many things to draw away the competent,
that the incompetent thieves have taken over.
lost In our distracted obsessiveness,
distracted, chasing,
with all the freedoms that were available.
we abdicated the hard work of protecting freedom.
in striving for cha-ching, grabbing at the golden ring
We lost the chance to hold onto the very thing
that held us high so that we
Could try to grasp higher
welcome to the pit
[Click to View YouTube Video]
|
|
Psilocyborg
climber
|
|
|
Jul 21, 2018 - 04:11pm PT
|
A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little bastards. It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment.
We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. Then I started my move to the hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you -- in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. I was sated. Perhaps a bit too much, however.
I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first, I thought it was only gas which could have been passed in batches right at the table without to much concern. Unfortunately, that was not to be. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress...
I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom. Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. One of them was a handicapped bathroom. Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good sh#t, but in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagonal wire cutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a sh#t. I went to the normal stall.
In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large, handicapped stall even though the door would not lock because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances. By the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure on my ass was reaching Biblical proportions.
I began "The Move."
For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of sh#t at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer.
I was about half-way into "The Move" when I looked down at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been previously expelled by one of those little bastards attending kids night; it was mounded up in the corner so I did not notice it when I had first walked into the stall. Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag reflex. And once that reflex started, combined with the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach, four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a rematch. What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence of events are a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct them as best I can.
In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end. To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crotched down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a load of vomit coming up my esophagus. Now, most of you know that vomiting takes precedence over sh#t no matter what is about to come slamming out of your ass. It is apparently an evolutionary thing since shitting will not kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death. My attention was thus diverted.
At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of sh#t the consistency of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The sh#t wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initially hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down.
Recall that when that event occurred, I was already half-way to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point of no return. I have always considered myself as relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how limber you may be. Needless to say, the sh#t wave, though of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself on the walls, like what you would see when hitting a puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no water is left to re-form a puddle. There was a significant amount of sh#t remaining on about one-third of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon.
Now, back to the vomit...
While all the shitting was going on, the vomit was still on its way up. By the time I had actually collapsed on the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed. OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when vomiting? One bends over. So I bent over. I was still sitting on the toilet, though. Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head above my now slightly-opened legs, positioned in between my knees and waist. Also directly above my pants which were now pulled down to a point just midway between my knees and my ankles. Oh, did I mention that I was wearing not just pants, but sweat pants with elastic on the ankles.
In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet.
In the next several seconds, there were a handful of farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended, yet I was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my back covered in sh#t that had bounced off the toilet, spattered on three ceramic-tiled walls to a height of about five feet, and still had enough force to come back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets of liquid sh#t. All while thick sh#t was spread all over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet seat.
And there was no f*#king toilet paper.
What could I do but laugh. I must have sounded like a complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the bathroom. He actually asked if I was OK since I was laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if he would get the manager. And told him to have the manager bring some toilet paper. When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened next. I simply told him that there was no way I was going to explain what was happening in the stall, but that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were sitting and he left. At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly benign.
About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount of worry in her voice. I explained to her (still laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I had a slight accident and needed her help. Knowing that I had experienced some close calls in the past, she probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or something and just needed to bring the car around so we could bolt immediately. Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was about to go across the street and purchase me new underwear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies) new sneakers. And she then started to laugh herself since I was still laughing. She began to ask for an explanation as to what had happened when I promised her that I would tell her later, but that I just needed to handle damage control for the time being. She left.
The manager then came back in with a half-dozen wet towels and a few dry ones. I asked him to also bring a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would clean up anything that needed to be cleaned. Without giving him specific details, I explained that what was going on in that stall that night was far in excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum wage of just slightly above. At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the gravity of the situation. Then that manager went so far above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful for his actions. He hooked up a hose.
Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle of the room in order to make clean up easy. Fortunately, I was in a commercial bathroom. He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels. Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new clothes and passed them into the stall, whereupon I stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the stall to get redressed in the event I happened to be standing there naked and some little bastard kid walked in. At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way.
When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains toward the drain in the center of the room. I put down the hose and walked out of the bathroom. I had intended to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done, but when I walked out, three of the management staff were there to greet me with a standing ovation. I started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the front door.
The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House. They have, by far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in which I have eaten.
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 21, 2018 - 05:38pm PT
|
"(by that time due to considerable leakage around the elastic ankles thingies)"
new sneakers too.
So all said and done,
The most expensive all U-Can eat,poop-n'-up-chuck,
but what are ya' gonna do?
shjt happens.
thnx, Got the picture, ,euwe , , euch,
no, not of said foul'd stall, back, butt,cloths & wall,though there is spirit in the thingscary turlet deathskull with happy face. /(if I say I C Garcia, they lock me down - in place)
7/4/00 NJ, 2nd night, not near enough of a great show
http://youtu.be/ma4WNTzgeh8
As to your fine share up there;
it's antitheses, might, maybe;
to see us, now old,the wife & and me
as if but not, small dose`n,
still like realz though,so
we talk,& take a stroll, not hot,
on a blue bird day, in a cemetery
tossing a bright green ball for the dog
walking among strangers' stones.
this might disappear ,,,, It is from last night, 7/20/18[Click to View YouTube Video]
New route name:
Leaking At the Ankles, eventually
Almost indefinable,
the fact that I've not been back.
I've not splash'd in Coxing or the Peterskill ___
How are Blue Hole & EndOfthe World
& Holes with no names?,
way out down the drainage.
&
far far flung
under the Ashokan Reservoir
now super closed -since Sept 11 01
I'll not go to the number,,,super closed.
&
What can one say, it seems impossible for a year to pass,
And again, its now been . . .? how many??
indescribable that I'm not going to cast a shadow over the clove, till who gnows when.
So I'll say again, make sure you feel the changes in the winds.
Set some
|
|
WyoRockMan
climber
Grizzlyville, WY
|
|
|
Jul 21, 2018 - 06:39pm PT
|
Psilocyborg
That was the funniest thing I've read in ages. Thanks.
|
|
zBrown
Ice climber
|
|
|
Jul 21, 2018 - 06:45pm PT
|
i guess all the switches at issue were on the arm rest under the dog's paw.
i handed back the phone, wished them well and over my shoulder
proclaimed "i think your luck has changed."
Dog Day Afternoon
I'm falling behind, it's a lot quicker to look at photos than to read text
And that my friends and acquaintance candidates is why I will never read Licky's book.
|
|
Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2018 - 12:36pm PT
|
Almoststill, needs work, well, hmm, rosebud? workI gnow,
my play,
it is one thing
I gnow irks people about me,
like shifting back in,
in the less than clear way
I hope to make a dent in the normal
I find it more fun that way
i saw, "Orphanator" so true, terribly so true> Making innocents into sociopaths, mass murders of women & children, out of kidnapped children. The DeVose Family is profiting off the carnage and will be stealing the kids left over for their private armies...
Good Luck, & Happy Sales to you
So, a full physique & long ago,
I was wall bait, ready willing and able to go
to -jug- -lead- simul/solo, not to haul so much though . . .
but those big wall dreams set sail.
Then, as all must, had,a' pound salt,
& in the dozens came the pounds . . .
Good for ballast, & counter weight hauling...
not for hard free climbing, much, though
Never more ready, then it was gone
2 kiddos at home,
with boo-boos to make better
and school work to make good on
no time to go away away
not one to be call'd from so far off
even though now we have cell phones
Mid-life spread, & wallow began
& too -
made the whole hardcore climber thing, look sad
a joke; like our "Lazer" sail boat,(43yrs young)
washed out from the wake of the power boats on the lake
When some of largest cams, came up here,
followed by a list of those who wanted 1 or 2, #8s & #9s
(Merlin's was the chosen name)
I rushed in, It was telling, when I told the wife,
tried to snow her, bowl her over with both, the need to keep from falling to my death, & for prosperity,
to say nothing of, for posterity, as a collector . . .
(think, grandchildren)
nah, no-way she said, she nuked all hope, not even with it being on the brink of Fathers Day,
*Where Fools Rush In!
(*A BoB Da route; that I took a very early repeat of, by the spray)
wonder Braun'ez birthday wishes:
We can all see that your attempt to curry favor & Karmic forgiveness,
is all just that
An attempt, that you are failling at. . .
so yes lets sell a brate the day your maw split & spit ya'
birthday,
happy is not what ya' got
in all that hell-heat & smoke...
you - stooge -- anti Zionist= antiSemite.
you - fool - non see'er of the truth,
believer in global lies from your heritage , my horror-tige
tool of a stupid obselete spear, read along try to dispute that nomadic Bedouins, ruled anything or even had homes in any-land, least of all adonih israerl [ Click to View YouTube Video]*
8/2/18
Bruce,
For sure, a thing worthy of posting
That this thread remains on the "front page", and stays high above"the fold" so to speak, means that it has been clicked on, many times.
Honestly, It is a hard story to comment on. Three times? or 4? I'm not one to speak on things alpine or big, never mind Himalayan!
As those "Boy's" know that return is never a given, & the taking of the of chances, is not a choice, once your in you're committed,
& once a certain part of life has been achieved the theory of diminishing returns, sets in... Takes over
As with all things that reach in and stir the old me, it all goes to garrble, basically
The theory of diminishing ... No thats isn't it,
For most, not all by any means, but for so many of us whose whole existence, has been defined by, & so leaving us - self identifying as "climber for life" there is a point where you can still be active , or stop accepting that the fun was, and now is less so. . .
. . . . to not be able to find rejuvenation, affirmation, whithout heading , repeatedlly in to the death zone, needs re-examination, before your hart attack....
The unspeakable, The addiction to the LIFE/ENDEAVOR that remains the one true individual-powered so "ultra" in its finality.
. . . . once accomplished, when success is measured by "Summit,& return, & not dead
Edit:
There are a few who, while I do not gnow them, I always respect the posts they add, Had It been another, Say Dana Bartlett, I might have just deleted all or part of that mess.
thnx "Fear" I think?
My self-deprecating . . ___ . . . way? don't know what to call it, ? , , would seem to be an embarrassment to many
I am having fun, The stupid risk is a part of this, when you add the cord the thing changes, & yes, I do gnow better.
still as I said I'm in love with climbing & it has loved be back.
A gnome must gnow his limitations.
mouse in the house !
Right On !
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!