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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:19pm PT
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Look girl. If you are going to play in the big peoples sandbox, then you can't be posting great thread titles and then wimping out. Go for the gusto. Post what you think would be a great use for duct tape and dead cats.
Here is an example.
America is heading into a great depression. Americans will have to learn to fend for themselves again by hunting and fishing and such. Not that this will really be possible as their isn't enough wild game anymore to feed everyone, but lets pretend that the whole world collapses in a sort of mad max way.
How is an average American dork going to feed himself in the city.
Duct tape and dead cats I tell you.
There isn't enough meat on a dead cat to hardly feed anyone. So what is a better use for them. As bait. Bait for those roaming packs of fido's that folks foolishly put out on the street because they couldn't bring themselves to eat Max.
Since most folks don't know how to hunt anymore, the wise dorkman will resort to using duct tape and dead cats to trap wild dogs. Given enough duct tape, one can build a sort of fly trap for dogs, then bait it with the dead cat.
There.. Now give us your example. But it better be good. Because I think that I have the penultimate use of duct tape and dead cats.
Dorkman meets mad max.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:23pm PT
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I forgot to add.
Once fido is wrapped up in duct tape, you just toss him into a pot of boiling water for a few minutes, then the fur just peels off easily. This coat of fur and duct tape can then be made into a winter coat.
Waste not, want not. I always say.
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:38pm PT
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Small pieces of duct tape, strategically placed on a cat, is guaranteed to lead to hours of great fun.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:40pm PT
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Crimpie
You don't do that to Pente, do you?
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Captain...or Skully
Trad climber
North of the Owyhees
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:43pm PT
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Small pieces of cat, strategically placed on duck tape, can result in almost immediate meltdown of ones' wall partner.
Just sayin'...
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:46pm PT
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Can we use a ball point pen, too?
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Captain...or Skully
Trad climber
North of the Owyhees
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:47pm PT
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Highly advised.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:51pm PT
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Captain...or Skully
Trad climber
North of the Owyhees
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:52pm PT
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Give chase.....He/it WILL flee.
Hopefully toward your duck/t tape field/trap.
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Dec 31, 2008 - 01:58pm PT
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Good.
Presumably we all know that dead cats can be used to measure buildings. But in a time when it becomes necessary to trap cats for food or bait, there won't be much spare time for measuring building heights anymore.
So when one measures the height of a building, he must for the good of everyone, record that height by writing with a pen or indelible marker on a strip of duct tape and post it prominently on the building so nobody else has to repeat the exercise.
Now Moosie is entitled to his opinions, but most cats are pretty comparable in size to rabbits. Rabbits can be cooked on a rotisserie or slow-cooked in a crock pot. The same is likely true of cats.
You can record recipes and their ratings on duct tape near your crock pot or rotisserie.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:14pm PT
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As one of the resident wankers who doesn't know how to hunt, I should add that duct tape would make a decent defense against the roaming herds of hungry nerds that will try to steal your meal of roasted skinned fido.
Once again, the flypaper trap will work. Just surround your campfire with duct tape, placing the sticky side out. Place rings within rings. As the hordes of hungry nerds assail your fence of duct tape and become stuck to it, you then attach the outer ring to a rope to a piano on the 10th floor of the burned out building next to you. You push the piano out the window, thus dragging the outer layer with its trapped hordes up off the ground, revealing a new layer of defensive duct tape.
This should work beautifully against hordes of hungry nerds.
If you aren't hungry then enough to become a cannibal, you use the dead and dying nerds as bait for roaming herds of wild live cats. Use your duct tape fly trap to trap them and then rebait your wild dog trap.
This could work for a long time. At least until you run out of duct tape. I suggest that if you live in a city, that you set up near an office supply shop. Try to find one next to a sky scrapper filled with pianos. That should get your through a year or two.
Edit:
I should add, that to hold up your fence of duct tape, you can use walking sticks left by the hordes of REI nerds who can't make their own, so the pay big bucks to companies to make them for them. You will find them in any city sporting goods store.
Carry on.
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Karen
Trad climber
So Cal Hell
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:14pm PT
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For all you so called dog lovers out there, there are plenty of pathetic breeds of dog that I would gladly duct tape as bait, to name a few;
1.Any and all terriers
2.Bichon frise one of the most annoying!
3.Chihuahua
4.Cockapoo
5.Dachshound
6. Gawd....Jack Russels
7.Pekingese
8.Pomeranian
9. Small poodles - standards are cool
10. Pugs simply the ugliest dogs ever!
11.Corgis
There you go...
CATS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and freakn' dogs drool !!!!!!!!
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:20pm PT
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Whadddya mean cats won't come when called, Karen.
My kiddies do -- they know when I call it's treats or play time. . . except when they feel like being 'catty'. . .
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:23pm PT
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Karen, the OP was duct tape AND cats, not duct tape OR cats.
Now if you want to do duct tape and dogs...
There are two choices. LEBify this thread, or post your own topic.
You will note that so far this thread has not drifted to uses for duct tape AND LEB.
EDIT:
Yeah, mine comes, too. It is his sign that the door is open and there is food inside that he does not have to catch himself.
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:33pm PT
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Wait a minute!
Who said anything about fishing line?
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:46pm PT
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This is mad max time dude. You have to improvise. Of course the two main things you must use are duct tape and cats.
For all you hopeless REI/ Sierra Club nerds, I will be joining up with Rox to teach a class in surviving the urban jungle. We will focus on building duct tape traps and duct tape defenses.
Cost will be 800 dollars for a weekend class. We will be living on the streets and learning to fend for ourselves. If you sign up 15 nerds, uh.. I mean future survivors, then you can attend for free. Hurry, as the end times near, classes are filling up.
http://www.survivingtheurbanjungle.com/artoftheducttapetrap
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Captain...or Skully
Trad climber
North of the Owyhees
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:49pm PT
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Moosie, You're good.......
You could take that act on the stage.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Dec 31, 2008 - 02:59pm PT
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Thanks skully. I have much for to offer about surviving the end times. This post was just a teaser.
Other classes I will be offering are.
Cubicle living/ defending your snack machine
Urban bivies and the climber. ( This one will focus on skyscrapper bivies on exterior walls, much safer then trying to stay indoors )
Peddle power and the underground farmer. ( This one will focus on the herbalogist in all of us )
1001 uses for duct tape. nuff said.
If you have any other suggestions for classes, I could cut you in on things. But hurry, this is building up quickly.
Supertopo discount. Sign up 10 future survivors and attend a class for free.
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nutjob
Stoked OW climber
San Jose, CA
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Dec 31, 2008 - 03:01pm PT
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I was thinking much more basic, along the lines of wrapping cats in duct tape to make them into floating pads on the sides of docs so it won't scratch the paint off of boats.
They could also be used for boat moorings, and they'd serve as quaint decorations in the houses of retired merchant marines.
You could also place them at freeway offramps to absorb energy from car collisions at the junction point between the freeway and the offramp.
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Dec 31, 2008 - 03:03pm PT
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Cat Mobile - (if you get to use fishing line)
Cat Wind Chimes - (if you get to use fishing line and little bells)
The duct tape is used to add weight to make them balance the way you want them.
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