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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 1, 2006 - 03:10pm PT
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WEll this is a little of topic, and I do not remember the names right maybe, but it strikes me that a freind of mine who climbed in the late 980's and 90's adn met peopel like paul meil (SP?) and the two swedish farming brothers, (gene someone?) and the guy and his wife who did a lot of routes in the needles SD, (forgot their names) told me a story that miel told him:
Paul was jonesing to climb, but could find no partner. desperately, he grabbed a fellow (non-climber) who was known to do things for beer, and offered a six pack if the guy would hold the rope.
The fine fellow agreed, and the climbing began. things did not go well, and took MUCH longer than the fine fellow intended to wait.
After some discusion, with paul fairly high off the ground, and no end in sight, the fine fellow tied the rope off to a tree and left.
Apologies for third hand info, but do any of you know this story?
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Other examples of "art" imitating life, perhaps a bit too closely for comfort.
The "I couldn't hear you" routine.
The "I thought you said X" routine, X being the homonym but antonym of what was actually said. Usually involves providing tight rope when it's not wanted, or the reverse.
These are somewhat environment-dependent, and of course as easily practised by seconds on leaders as the reverse.
The tyrolean traverse trick works better if the brave rock hopping leader ensures that the second(s) are deprived of the equipment to adjust the tension in the system. "I'd better take all the slings/prussiks/carabiners, for anchoring to that tree/boulder/whatever." Or "I'll take the gear, and can hike up and get started while the rest of you are crossing." If the leader can maintain possession of both ends of the rope, that's ideal - rope goes from leader back across river, then back to leader. Much harder to adjust the tension without a rope end. Claim that the doubled rope makes the traverse "safer". The rope stretch physics get a bit more complicated, though.
Many of these tricks can also be played on thirds/fourths/etc - in fact once the second has been victimized, she or he is usually a willing accomplice. If the leader has in the meantime skedaddled up the hill, all the better.
I've heard anecdotes about seconds tying off leaders and leaving, and vice versa, but never from anyone who admitted doing so. More than a little mean. Perhaps they're just cautionary tales?
Anders
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 1, 2006 - 05:06pm PT
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Thanks for the important instrucional details there Anders.
The devil IS in the details.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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The following may fit well in this thread. Or somewhere on Super Topo.
Anders
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel)
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Looked high and low over the weekend, hoping to find the article about simulated leader falls. A trip down memory lane - skimming every issue of Mountain from 1971 on. And the indexes. And the Climbing indexes. And google. No luck. Lots of flashbacks, though, and good ideas for future threads.
Wonder if the concept was perhaps a part of a larger satirical article?
Anyway, I thought the article might have some helpful ideas, consistent with the theme of this thread, leading (he he) only to damage to the second's psyche.
Anders
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WBraun
climber
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"The fine art of screwing the second"
Why would someone even have these thoughts?
Only someone who ........ never mind, not even worth the time to say.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Ha ha Werner never climbed with Crimpie!
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 5, 2006 - 01:41am PT
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He's trying to make a snide point, and missing the humor in the thread.
That's OK though, He can be delusional all he wants to, it's a free country.
HE can also choose to believe idiots and fools or even be one himself.
Course, that's pretty stupid, but it IS a free country.
Guess you never had any fun playing with your partner eh Weenie?
that's boo bad, some people like a joke, and can even appreciate one, guess you don't and can't.
But anyway, you wanna throw in with the wrong crowd, you go right ahead.
To hell with you.
PS you want to come into a thread that is all about funny stuff and be a drag, I will be happy to drag you around a while.
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coldclimb
climber
Wasilla, Alaska
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Hehe, I had a little fun last week. Climbed half dome with a slightly less experienced partner who doesn't know how good he is, so I had him lead all of Snake Dike and I seconded. We finished the climb and got to the endless slabs, so while packing up the climbing gear I handed him back all the stuff I'd cleaned in a couple pitches, and since he'd been leading he readily accepted it. He caught on shortly after, but by then he had all the gear and we'd started up the slabs already.
Life is more fun with less experienced people around. :D
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Sometimes, but not ALWAYS.
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nutjob
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Most common second-screwing I've seen is "hey this section is a bit tight, I'm leaving my pack here for you". Then I get to dangle two packs off my harness through the squeeze. Then again, I don't get hurt if I fall.
Other second screwing... not telling them how bad the belay is when you ran out of rope at a bad spot. The look when they reach those #2 opposing horizontal nuts in flaring wet cracks is priceless.
Yet another second-screwing... obstinately staying on lead for too long while partner is devastated by mosquitos, then persisting after dark whilst the ranger warns about locking gates. We had to be escorted out back way (one of several times that season), adding an extra hour to drive, but we got away from the fines because the spanish-speaking ranger was laughing his ass off about my partner being from Boca Raton, FL (Rat Mouth).
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 20, 2006 - 11:11am PT
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HEy these last few are too good to go without a comment, and I'm sure there are still more secrets of second screwing out there!
Don't be shy, tell your tricks!
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 25, 2006 - 01:48am PT
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Well, I finally remembered another one. It came to me while out in the mountains today. Completely safe for the second, at least physically, so WB need not tut tut. It's a real sugar sugar, as it were.
It's one applicable in a variety of environments, not just leader - second. But then most of those mentioned are.
It's actually very simple. You know how sometimes when you're day dreaming, belaying while the second struggles up, hanging on the rope, cursing, dropping/leaving/abusing your gear, etc? So often some inane pop tune fills the vacancy, with vacuous ear candy from grade seven sock hops. This happens more when plodding across glaciers, or hiking, but be warned - it can happen while climbing. You simply can't get it out of your head, so to speak. If it happens to you, what you need to do, when the second finally arrives, is tell her/him about this horrible tune that has been filling your head and driving you nuts.
Then tell him/her the name of the tune.
It may be unsporting to tell the second that you've been "hearing" a tune that you actually weren't, though in extreme cases it may be necessary.
Anders
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
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Jun 25, 2006 - 02:29pm PT
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Place less gear so there is a huge pendulum fall at the crux.
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 25, 2006 - 03:08pm PT
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Anesthesia, dangerous things are not allowd, you can;t seriously endagner the second.
Anders, Fvcking Brilliant!
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 25, 2006 - 04:17pm PT
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Yes, it's all about sharing, isn't it?
Anders
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Jun 25, 2006 - 04:28pm PT
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they are called "ear worms"
I'm not sure they aren't dangerous... imagine having "Ebony and Ivory" spinning round and round in your head...
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
St. Louis
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Jun 25, 2006 - 04:32pm PT
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Oh, that's awful.
I spent two weeks in Brazil several years ago. and THE ENTIRE time, all I heard in my head was "Her name was Lola, She was a show girl....blah blah blah... Copa, Copacabana.... "
Friggin' maddening!
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 25, 2006 - 06:23pm PT
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Acording to a well known (in the biz anyway) Violin maker and repairer, the cure for such tunes is to hum, " Shortnin bread", until the offending tune is gone.
Somehow 'shortnin bread' just does not stick around like those others.
At least that's the theory.
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blackbird
Trad climber
the south
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Jun 25, 2006 - 06:48pm PT
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Anders: I find that your theory works best with those goofy little kid songs (you know, the ones from pre-K/K?) More fun when you actually start singing the things and get them stuck in other's heads (especially if the folks around are a bit on the obnoxious side to begin with. Would that fall into the "screwing the crowd" category?) And of course, it IS all about sharing; one can't be selfish, now can one?!
dirt: from a fiddle players POV, that doesn't work; it's yet one more freakin' tune to run rampant through the brain... Up side is that you can goof with the arpeggations and harmonies, down side is that you forget the arpeggations and harmonies before you get back to the instrument!
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