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blackbird
Trad climber
the flat water trails...
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 1, 2011 - 12:27am PT
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Why is it palatable for male types to road trip (alone, even!)/be cantankerous/speak their mind/etc., yet when one of us female types does any and/or all of the above, it baffles/ticks off/irritates folks?
When folks ask me with whom I'm traveling and I respond, "My dog," I consistently get looks of shock, disdain and disbelief, immediately followed by questions such as: "What will you do if something happens while you're gone?" (I'll deal with it. Duh!) and "Aren't you scared?!" (mmm... Nope!), as well as comments along the lines of: "But you're a GIRL.." (<GASP> SERIOUSLY?! You're kidding, right?!)
None of the questions and reactions I am getting - especially as it gets closer to the time I leave - would even be voiced were I male.
Make that make sense to me...
BB
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Most of America is still unaware of the Reformation..
Thankfully I do believe you will have a nice trip which would not be possible
in many of the other under-developed countries with which the USA shares
so many qualities.
Have fun! :-)
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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well.. in old folks thinking.. a guy can't be sexually violated. So a woman is considered to be more vulnerable.
Plus in the olden days women couldn't do things like change a flat tire.
It didn't matter if a guy couldn't fix a vehicle. He wasn't going to be violated at midnight by the tow truck driver or by the driver who stops to help. Plus in the olden days there were no cell phones. Not that a cell phone really makes you safe from the perverts out there.
Please don't think this is what I believe... I'm just interpreting old folks thinking.
Oh.. and if a guy was sexually violated by someone named bubba... well,, he couldn't get pregnant. And.. well.. it just wasn't as traumatizing for a guy. If a girl was violated, well, no good man would marry her. That isn't true of a guy. Cause guys are degenerates anyways..
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Make that make sense to me...
Can't be done. You're asking the impossible. Blame the catholic church. Or Islam. Or the patriarchal society. Or the moon.
No one can make it make sense to you, because it just doesn't make sense.
And it isn't just "Oh a woman shouldn't go out on the road alone." It's all kinds of weird non-sense. Example: We -- my wife and I -- were climbing in the gym one night when an acquaintance spotted us. He came over and said he was looking for some people to go to Smith Rocks with on the next weekend. I said I couldn't, because I had to work, but pointed to my partner and said "But I bet she'd love to go."
Which got us the sad reply: "Oh. Uh, no. My wife wouldn't let me go climbing with a woman."
How screwed-up is that?
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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How screwed-up is that?
Pretty screwed up, but I have to admit, I got a little green eyed with my last girlfriend when she said she was going camping with one of her male friends, when I couldn't go. I had to do a little soul searching on that one. Thankfully I got over it and they had a great time, which won me boyfriend points.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Weird realities of our so-called Culture.
Not just your culture Cap'n. It's common throughout the world. In fact it's worse in a lot of the world.
I think I want to resign from the human race and join a sane species.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Let me know if you find one Ghost.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Considering the levels of gun ownership and violence in the US - often exaggerated, but still higher than other liberal democracies - anyone on a road trip ought to feel a bit threatened. Sex irrelevant. But for those worried about such things, a dog is probably about as good insurance as you can have - even Abby.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Considering the levels of gun ownership and violence in the US - often exaggerated, but still higher than other liberal democracies - anyone on a road trip ought to feel a bit threatened
Which is pretty funny, coming from someone who lives in Vancouver. Or was it some other city where a bunch of crazies tore up the center of the city in mindless riot a couple of weeks ago?
Seriously Anders, you ought to come out of your burrow and walk the world for a while.
(Sorry for the thread drift Blackbird.)
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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If we're gonna drift then so be it. Montana and Wyoming have the most gun
owners, not counting Alaska. I feel good about you going there. The District
of Columbia has the toughest gun laws and also the worst crime rate.
Don't go there. That was easy, wasn't it?
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Its not thread drift. Its part of the riddle.
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apogee
climber
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My (younger-than-I) wife has often expressed similar wonderment as the OP- she has done plenty of solo-travel across the country, living out of her rig, parking/sleeping in various locations from wild to urban. Then I came into the picture, and out of my concern and love for her, asked her to take greater care in such actions- I even asked her to take a cell phone when she went running (yeah, maybe a little over the top).
What I consider a simple expression of concern for her, she often perceives as an expression of my lack of faith that she can take care of herself.
She does tend to be more of an idealist (naive?), and myself a pragmatist (cynical pessimist?). So from the heart and mind of a pragmatist, I would offer this: the fact is that women have been victimized, oppressed, and abused far, far more than males in the history of the world- for whatever genetic, physical or social reasons, that's just simply true. Our world (even in this country) hasn't improved this sad reality much, so in the meantime, I aim to guard the love of my life in any way I possibly can, without allowing fear to derail our relationship. It's a delicate balance, and one I want to continue working at for the rest of our long lives together.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Moosie,
I got the impression Blackbird was trying to keep it on a higher plane - like 'social constructs'. :-)
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Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
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Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
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tahoe523
Trad climber
Station Wagon, USA
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I am XX chromosome'd and traveled solo for over a year. I never baffled, ticked off or irritated anyone. In fact, in so few communities do you receive countless high-fives for telling people you're unemployed. By choice. Living out of your car. Not showering for days. And oddly bragging about it.
As long as you're not traveling with 6 cats and carrying a shotgun, you should expect to be approached like a normal person. Enjoy. I had the time of my life. Going alone was the best thing I could have done. Along the way, I met a lot of awesome women traveling and climbing solo, too. Not all ladies get dragged around by their boyfriends. There's a pretty cool pack of us that are climbing because it's what we love to do.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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I would not take it as a personal affrontage. In this world women and children are more likely to be the victims of evil than men. It is just reality.
In my opinion someone being concerned about you getting out there alone is not necessarily them seeing weakness in you, but seeing the increased risk you are exposing yourself to and their concern for you.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Which is pretty funny, coming from someone who lives in Vancouver. Or was it some other city where a bunch of crazies tore up the center of the city in mindless riot a couple of weeks ago?
No one died in the Vancouver riot, and very few were seriously injured. And probably very few of those involved, or present, were armed with knives let alone guns. Had the riot occurred in most US cities, there would have been deaths, many more injuries, probably a racial element, lots of police brutality, and many of those present would have had guns.
Those you meet casually in any context in Canada are much less likely to be armed than in the US. Which in turn means less threat. And the statistics on violent crime in Canada and the US bear that out, even allowing that much of it is crime related, or poor people preying on each other. It's not like casual violence is a way of life in the US, but it's much more common than in Canada, and more likely to involve weapons. You have to be living under a rock to think otherwise.
In Canada, we merely lash people with oploplanax. Or make them spell it.
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Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
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Hey Blackbird, get on the road and youll be fine.
It must be the people your surrounding yourself with.
We all create whats around us.
Dont bog yourself down with something before you have even left.
Listen to Tahoe523
There is a real world to explore... for all
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